Thread by @2014ORTOY

You all... guess what? I just got off the phone with my mom...

I have another mom story.

My mom is 84. She likes to do things herself. They should then also be perfect.

I seek a historical story to make my point. Ah...yes... the dinner gown. Fitting story.
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I mentioned my mom was size 0. She never met a donut she didn't try to eat. But she never, ever, ever sits still. While most people are still flipping channels to pick a show in the evening, she's already made a quilt for the homeless mother's shelter.

I would swear...
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My mom's fingers burn off more calories in a day than most people's whole bodies. Ha ha... yeah, stop laughing. I'm not kidding.

She's 84 and just painted her own house up on a ladder, 100% by herself. Last year she replaced all the trim.

What did you do in August?
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So, my mom and her sister travelled a lot. Stylishly. Dinner gowns at the Captain's table sort of thing. My aunt, we could say, was a little envious of my mom's size 0 petite dresses and said some unkind things.

My mother may have poured a drink in her sister's beehive.
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Her sister the Sheriff. Let's just say it wasn't pretty.

My mother spent the next six months hand-beading a skin tight Liz Claiborne Petite black evening gown until it shimmered like jewels when she was escorted to the captains table. My aunt looked nice in the...
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Mauve (the color of her angry face) colored dress-thing..but who was looking at her anyway. Who was the queen in the shimmering gown?

That's my mom. Six months of bloody fingertips because her sister insulted her dress.

She does things herself. Tonight on the phone:
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She sounds a little funny. She doesn't want to say. Finally:

"I have this pillow. It was too fluffy. Too many feathers."

Me: "Did you try squishing it?"

Mom: "No, it was wrong. There were just too many feathers."

"What did you do?"

"I cut it open..."
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Me..."And?...." (I can hear something is wrong in her voice)

"I took out the extra feathers and put them in a box on the table, then was sewing it shut."

(long pause)

"Then the cat jumped on the pillow, with the hole aimed at me, and it exploded..."
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Mom: "And all these feathers shot right into my face, and I screamed, and feathers went in my mouth, and I was coughing and it scared the cat-who jumped & landed in the box of feathers

and the cat, and the box and the feathers all fell off the table...
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Where they all landed in front of the big box fan.

Set on high.

In her living room that she just scrubbed and polished and vacuumed for her sister's up coming visit.

I was laughing too much to hear the rest of the story-but I believe it may have included a few choice words.

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