watermelon gamer Profile picture
Sep 13, 2020 20 tweets 7 min read Read on X
what your ffxiv class main(?) says about you, a thread by someone who has Seen It All in ARR levelling roulettes:
gladiator/paladin:

- you just saw the sword class on the character creation screen and thought it was dps
- you like playing this class because you feel strong
- cool people use swords and drk is unfortunately not a "newbie" job
marauder/warrior:

- you use feral berserker grandjeeta in gbf
- big pulls feel sexy to you, sometimes you dont want your healer to heal you just to feel something
- imagine throwing this shit it probably weighs like 50 pounds
dark knight:

- its okay to admit you got this class because you wanted to see sidurgu
- i got this class because i wanted to see sidurgu
- you may/may not also be an edgy weeb lord
- the real dark knight was the friends (fray and sidurgu) you made along the way
gunbreaker:

- every single rando gunbreaker i've met in roulette has done big pulls without asking if i could keep up (or has and big pulls anyways) so thats my impression of you gunbreaker mains
- you like bossing people around
- you like squall leonhart
arcanist/summoner:

- what the fuck is a gap closer. WHAT THE FUCK IS A GAP CLOSER HELP
- you like having more than one cat on the field and honestly props to you
- you cry over every minion and pet you get
archer/bard:

-on god you are tired of people asking you for peloton that its literally the first key you press ever now
- that or you dont press peloton out of spite
- you really only got this class to play the rickroll song in gridania's aetheryte plaza
lancer/dragoon:

- ever wanted to jump 15 yards into the air w/o breaking your bones well now you can
- you are tired of being estinien and alberic's family therapist estinien PLEASE stop having daddy issues
- why the FUCK does the female dragoon armor have a belly button cutout
pugilist/monk:

- people have told you this is the hardest class to master but you just go master it anyways
- you like things moving fast and hate when people go slow as hell
- i will not heal you in a dungeon if you take aggro thats on you
rogue/ninja:

- you started this class for the naruto memes and stayed for the found family
- you still make naruto memes anyways
- that or you really like thancred/yugiri
thaumaturge/black mage:

- explosion
- explosion
- explosion
machinist:

- i am speaking directly into your ear now you will listen to me you will use peloton or there will be severe consequences young machinist
- also stop fucking taking aggro by shooting first im not going to fucking heal you if you do
dancer:

- listen i dont want to call you a wh*re but youre a wh*re
- i actually dont know how dancer works but they keep sniping my msq objectives and i begrudgingly say "thanks for the kill steal" as i wait 5 minutes for it to show up again
- dont like bard? you play this
samurai:

- youre a bigger weeb than either drk or nin mains
- you also main kengonito in gbf
- while you were out partying i studied the blade
red mage:

- i actually like how this class looks so you live (for now)
- you like playing the best of both worlds (and also flaunting your shb expac)
- some of you are either the nicest fucking people in roulette or the angriest people and idk which it is actually.
blue mage:

- your very existence makes me want to hunt you down
- the bane of yokai watch event farmers
- seriously please i am STARVED for yokai medals SPARE YOKAI MEDALS
conjurer/white mage:

- you probably take the most shit from everyone and just grin/bear it youre so strong
- seriously, levelling this class was so much pain how do you do it
- you actually are the most dominant top and wouldn't be afraid to let your team wipe out of spite
scholar:

- scared of healing but also dont want to be too much of a dps? i have news for you :)
- you prefer eos over selene because you're either trans or gay (or both)
- green dps
astrologian:

- you play multiple gachas but dropped everything for ffxiv
- you're a sucker for horoscopes and tarot cards
- you spam drawing cards just to feel something
- diurnal > nocturnal generally unless there's two asts and you both agree silently to do both
Oh my god good morning i sleep and wake and my notifs are destroyed

Hi im the resident sprout drg/ast main im glad some people found my self callout funny ✌

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