Sarah Haider 👾 Profile picture
Sep 13, 2020 3 tweets 1 min read Read on X
I am sympathetic to trans people, but transgenderism is largely incomprehensible to me.

The crux of confusion: What does a gender "feel" like? How can someone know what it feels like to be the opposite sex (or even their own - given that they have never been anything else)?
My understanding is that trans people *wish* they were in the social role or physical body of the opposite sex.

That's it though: it is a powerful desire. It doesn't reflect reality or what they actually are, but clearly gives them serious discomfort.
So the nice thing to do is to go by the requested pronouns, provided they aren't too absurd. This is usually pretty difficult for me, as most trans people I've met do not pass at all.

But I try, for the sake of their discomfort. I do not do so because it feels true to me.

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More from @SarahTheHaider

Nov 15, 2023
There has always been this unevenness to the Muslim vs. ex-Muslim discourse, and one of the reasons I am so sick of engaging in it.

Most Muslims know 0 ex-Muslims (or at least, think they do). Nearly all ex-Muslims know countless Muslims, often as blood relations.

1/
In practice, this means that many of us can feel compelled by deep ties to protect the interests of Muslims as people, despite opposing their faith.

But Muslims are not bound in the same way to us--we are a minority + often closeted. They don't "know" us, as we know them.

2/
The ex-Muslims who don't make the believer/belief distinction are almost always those who have lost all ties with family--a rare (but highly platformed/visible) occurrence.

Most of us can and do--we have to. We are too intimately connected with Muslims to do anything else.

3/
Read 5 tweets
Aug 4, 2023
She treats her body as ornamental, a truly literal interpretation of “my body my choice”.

Did anyone explain to her that bodies are functional, too? That one day she may mourn the fact that she gave up her ability to nourish her child?
Guaranteed this young woman has no one in her life who presented any other option to her.

She is totally engrossed in her echo-chamber, and has no access to any other mode of understanding.
@Aella_Girl It’s one thing to forgo the option of BFing given one’s situation at the time, but another to eliminate the possibility well before.

Not to mention, many women start to feel differently about it when they actually get pregnant (I did!).
Read 8 tweets
Jul 23, 2023
I’m not sure if it’s obvious that “men want to control women’s reproductive functions”.

Men can more easily oppose abortion than women, but if the situation was reversed (ie: if men bore children), I think women would be *even more* against abortion than men are today. 1
In other words: the abortion debate is skewed by sex only because one sex isn’t directly affected, but one could as easily take that to mean that men vote *unencumbered* on behalf of the fetus’ “right to life”, whereas women must choose between that and their own well-being. 2
But all things being equal women care *more* about the well-being of children,even fetuses. It’s often said that if men could get pregnant we’d have full abortion access. I disagree. In that case, the sex divide would *widen*—men more uniformly pro-abortion and women more anti. 3
Read 7 tweets
May 2, 2023
In my substack a few months ago I argued that we should expect tenure to *increase* the power of social stigma.

⬇️

open.substack.com/pub/sarahhaide…
The idea that financial security makes people brave is true only when their surroundings are not a monoculture.

In monocultures, financial incentives can be one of the few reasons to veer away from conformity, especially when conformity produces real world harms.
Despite tenure, academics are *reliably more conformist* than many other professions.

Beyond what I discuss in the post above, many argue that tenure process itself filters for conformity.

It might be worth asking whether the practice does more harm than good, all in all.
Read 4 tweets
Apr 27, 2023
She didn’t say adoptive parents aren’t mothers, Brian Tyler Cohen presumed that to make her seem worse than she is.

Step parenthood is a uniquely noble role, but it is often a different one than bio/adoptive parenthood.
One of the things that I find fairly off-putting about liberal politics is the drive to equalize all roles so that no one feels different, even if they literally are. Whether or not the difference is meaningful is a separate question, even then, MTG is more “mean” than “wrong”.
I know the responses to this will be a predictable “but my step parent was amazing / I love my step kids”.

Yes, sure. Can you look beyond your personal case? Do you deny also that step parents can bear their own *unique* challenges, therefore making their love more meaningful?
Read 4 tweets
Mar 6, 2023
It is so funny how many 1) clearly didn't listen to the podcast 2) are taking the name seriously.
Carl, its not "racial particularism" to recognize that people from shared backgrounds can have a different kind of conversation together.
It is not a claim of exclusive knowledge that others *cannot* have the same ideas or insights, just a fact of life that they likely don't.
There is a lot you don't have to explain to your interlocutor when certain elements are shared, and that facilitates a discussion with a different layer of depth.
A group of women might have a diff discussion about menopause than a group of men. Not "ID politics" to seek either.
Read 4 tweets

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