In March I was sick, I posted here that my COVID-19 test was negative.

Now that tome has passed and I see how other are being impacted I am pretty sure I had COVID-19.

I had never felt so winded, tired, and frustrated while sick.

A THREAD...1/x
My bf's Mom was worried I was going to make her sick.

So I quarantined to my room.

My bf slept upstairs and I was restricted to my room.

I couldn't go to the bathroom or get out of bed without getting winded.

The worst was not being able to breathe when sleeping.

Six months later we look back and...

My bf's mom was the one that got both of us sick.

In February she was sick, super sick.

Besides being sick she is also sentitive to foods - she knows what she can consume w/o her stomach turning.

Today, she is on a nebulizer it has been about 3 months since she got it.

She uses it more and MORE each day.

She can't sleep at night bc she can't breathe.

She gets winded daily during common household tasks like washing dishes, clothes, and mopping.

For some reason I finally made the connection - we were the same kind of sick.

I couldn't breathe - she can't breathe.

I couldn't sleep - she can't sleep

I couldn't do ANYTHING w/o getting winded - she can't do anything w/o getting winded

She was washing dishes tonight and her posture looked so tired.

So I said, "Do you get tired fast?"

Her: "Yes!! I can't do anything any more" <frustration>

Me: "I understand how that felt when I was sick."

Her: "It's been months and I haven't gotten better."

For context:

My family I am with now are natural hoofcare therapists aka they buss ass taking care of horses, donkeys, and goats care for their hooves.

No they do not show horses, it is against their practice.

The shape the hoof naturally by clipping and filing.

She is used to being a hard worker - she only just retired in 2018.

Since then my bf has taken over her clients and today alone he worked on at least 13 horses (wtf).

So doing some housework is the least that she wants to do since she is used to doing so much more.

I went and sat with her after our lil' kitchen sink convo bc she was clearly upset and frustrated by saying "she gets tired fast" out loud and more likely bc she said it to me.

She then said "it's been months and I am almost ready to give up"

*cue heartbreak*

My bf has been worried about her for some month's now and has been down bc of mom's condition.

I was not seeing any of this bc I was just trying to stay out of my own head - remember PhD Post Partum

But now that I see her <frustration> I can't unsee it.

We just lost our pony a couple of weeks ago and that was devistating.

I have already loss my own mother 10 years ago and losing another one - and having to be the strong one this time around - will be exhausting.

My bf is the sweetest, only child, to a single mother.

So what I am say here is that:

COVID-19 is a no fk around situation.

Many have already been exposed prior to the detection or availability of tests and statistically COVID-19 tests are a 50/50 chance of a false negative read.

What does this mean?

This means that:

- life is not a game
- playing with other people's lives is not a game
- this is more than about wearing a mask
- your individual rights cross a line to threatening other people's live
- I'm not playing
- death is real
I just got off the phone yesterday w my dad - a proud Native Hawaiian Trump Supporter.

His brother just died.

He got off the phone w me bc his sister called him.

When he called me back guess what he wanted to tell me?

"I told your Aunty to check the birth certificate that they didn't say your Incle died of COVID-19"

TBH I was floored.

This is coming from a man who nurtured my mother 15 years in + out of the hospital.

Who would fk up anyone that even attenpted threatened her health.

And now I'm here.

Worried about my new mom.
Worried about my bf's mental + physical health.
Worried about how I am going to support my new family through this time.

I've lived through some hard shit w my mom's medical conditions - but this is just plain fked up.

There are no xrays, no tracers, no pills, no symptoms, no indicators, no treatments, no long term knowledge, no experienced health professionals, no moʻōlelo, no way to learn from our mistakes...

but through death.

I can't do anything but make her and his life better.

Death is the greatest motivator and that fucker has been at my doorstep my WHOLE FUCKEN LIFE + I am tired.

Once someone loses hope in life there is NOTHING to bring them back - if there is no will there is no way.

I saw it with my mom before she died and I see it again.


Live life to the fullest.

When I run hard and ppl wonder why the answer is DEATH.

When ppl wonder how I can do so much the answer is DEATH.

When I see what I have done as not enough the answer is DEATH.

It must be nice to live a life with no pain, sorrow, or lost dreams - is what I used to tell myself.

Then during a PhD defense run through it clicked my story of death is not unique - it is more common thn we talk about outside our families.

If you have experienced loss, think.

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More from @kteabam

6 Oct 19
To be honest:

The protection of Mauna Kea has:
- Created sobriety zones for our people,
- Got our people moving doing hula and walking,
- Provided unfettered access to ceremony with mythical practitioners,
- Got academics creating content for the masses (here and abroad),
- Got the masses to consume the rich cultural and historically informed perspectives.

And through all of this I am still figuring out where I fit in.
The cool thing is that many people are still figuring out where they fit in too, and that's okay.

I watched Oahu get organized, cooking, strategizing, training.
The most beautiful thing when I saw the livestream of the march is...MFs been training for this for their whole lives (no exaggeration) and masses were made a part of that training in the past few months.
Read 16 tweets
15 Jul 19
For the record:
1. I am a Hawaiian scientist and there are more of us than you see/hear. We are not unicorns, we are human.
2. The conflict on Mauna Kea is NOT about Hawaiians vs. Science.

3. The conflict on Mauna Kea is about the State breaking THEIR OWN LAWS, protocols, and commitments such as providing "a Hawaiian place of learning" at UH Manoa and upholding their fiduciary duty to protect Hawaiian rights.

4. Yes, I AM a Hawaiian Scientist who has worked with law and in Congress. I have served in the private sector, state, federal, and non-profit agencies (WE EXIST). Avoid baited attempts to create conflict between Hawaiians (this is what they want - divide and conquer).

Read 36 tweets

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