Men afraid that if they truly cared for their women, they'll be abandoned for men who give less/or more: Women afraid that if they grew with a man, he'll leave for women who give less later. But they are both seeking true love & could swear people are no longer real out here.
How're you supposed to find real when your mind is made up that there isn't real? It's not that loyalty & commitment ended with our fathers/mothers. They say men from the past were so secure & women so committed. I think they were just risk-takers.
They had intention. Something that most lack today. We wrap insecurity in so many jargons: to help us sleep at night. The need to police the future comes from a scarcity mindset. Things happen; people leave. But you are living in the now, why are you so afraid, sister? Why, bro?
Live your life. Enjoy it. Find someone you care about, give it your best. If it doesn't work out, move. Someone should do you wrong. So that you learn one truth you don't believe in at the moment: That time heals all. Take a leap of faith. You'll live.

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More from @XivTroy

22 Sep
There are still good men. In the millions. Men with a sense of purpose. Men with a grasp of responsibility. Men who sleep late & wake up early, just in time to catch their dreams. Non-violent men. But you'll have to stop existing within trauma bonds to find them. Circles matter.
Friends you have affect your perception of men. If among your 10 friends, 7 identify themselves through pain of loss/heartbreaks, you will be the 8th. If you associate with women who are making it work, you'll be the next. There's no glory in holding onto pain when you're hurting
It's like existing in a team of losers & wondering why you won't win. Because loss is your collective identity. They too are on the hunt for winners to save them from that loop of dysfunction. They'll never hook you up with good men coz if you left, the loop shrinks. Crabs.
Read 4 tweets
22 Sep
Anyway, before I log out. Let me tell you about the one time my uncle Geoffrey came to visit with his girlfriend Sarah Headrick from Mississipi. They had moved in together, and had wanted to introduce her to my grandparents. It ended in tears for everybody. And I mean everybody.
I personally knew something was wrong when they passed by our house & there was a goat with headphones in the backseat. Geoffrey wanted us to leave the goat behind as we went for a tour in the park when Sarah started crying. We left the goat anyway. Goat didn't seem to mind
So anyway, Sarah's still crying, calling the goat "baby" & what not. We ask her what's the name of the goat to make her feel better. She says "Eric". She starts scrolling through her phone showing us pictures of Eric as a baby. On his birthday. With other food.
Read 10 tweets
22 Sep
Stuck between Uhuru & Ruto, you are better off with Ruto. I do not vouch for his integrity, but he is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise dynastic chokehold. It's the symbol he carries with him. The promise of an escape. The vindication of Dr. King's moral arc. The beginning.
Can you imagine that the entire milk shelves in Supermarkets belongs to one man? Across the country. Every milk product you buy will be his. Such concentrated power is deadly. Soon, he'll own the entire supermarket aisles. On Game theory terms, that is catastrophic.
A country is like a corporation. It belongs to him with majority shares. He'll always make decisions to favor himself. The best you can do is spread the shares, even to the corrupt, that one's influence is curtailed by many selfish interests. Such that they may nip each other.
Read 4 tweets
21 Sep
"Down to earth" is a term reserved for the wealthy -- by the poor -- when they do once what poor men do as a rule. It is the poor man's long-awaited opportunity to show the rich he knows his place in the economic strata for crumbs. No rich man calls a fellow rich "down to earth".
The poor man hopes that by belittling himself even more, he'll impress the rich man into affording him slices of the cake . An obscene, counter-productive ritual because, in capitalism, wealth cannot be de-linked from congenital delusions of grandeur.
For the rich, any transaction with the poor is not an attempt at friendship. But the opportunity to reinforce superiority/power. That's why many of you retain pictures you took with celebrities on your profiles and in your house walls, but they have none of you. Scarcity mindset.
Read 5 tweets
20 Sep
Depression comes from a place of purposelessness; a deep, encumbering emptiness. Majority go into therapy seeking happiness, yet happiness is inherently transient. No drug will stockpile happiness for you. It is a byproduct of vitality. Find purpose, create order; then hapiness.
It is a popular illusion of our generation that man should pursue happiness for optimality. And that when you suffer, it is probably a culmination of stressors beyond you. More often than not, such stressors are etched in our daily routines. In the "treadmill of obligation"...
That we make routines of our stressors and only seek temporary escape before re-immersing back into the corruption: "go for a vacation". But after the vacation, that job still sucks. Girlfriend still sucks. We stay anyway and forge our identities on the furnace of our stressors.
Read 7 tweets
18 Sep
I think prevailing African literature suffers because every "author" is simply re-packaging hope; and staying correct for mileage. African books today are no more than trite motivational speeches. With regurgitated themes, & run-of-the-mill imagination.
We don't aspire to the expansion of language horizons; to choke the shit out of English until it poops new phrases that are more reflective of the African contexts. To explore and re-define the intersectionality of language as a tool of communication.
Because there is so much subtlety seeping out in chronicling our experiences through the English gaze. And none of this is ever recovered. " Unga umemwagika" inspires more poignancy - unarrests imagination - than "he lost his job" ever will.
Read 10 tweets

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