Thread by @JessicaHuseman

here's a fun story

when i was in college I was one of those people that set up little tables in liquor stores so you could taste test booze (I'm very classy!) and one time Three Olives made me go out and sample "Dude Vodka" which was mountain dew flavored vodka.

https://twitter.com/MountainDew/status/1305853912575029250

I was supposed to mix it with something so I could offer it to people as a "fun party shot option" and all I could think to do was own it and mix it with Mountain Dew and readers I sold more than 50 bottles of that shit in a single day.

Another time I had to do samples of Pinnacle's chocolate vodka - I know, disgusting - and in what I think was the height of my fake bartending skills I mixed it with cherry capri sun and called it "chocolate covered cherry shots" and sold out in like 90 minutes.

Anyway, people are gross and there will be a line at Red Lobster, is what I am saying.

Also, if journalism doesn't work out for me I am going to apply for cocktail creator jobs at TGI Fridays and Hoolihans because y'all let me tell you I know what 22 year olds want to drink and all of it is disgusting.

ANOTHER INSPIRED CREATION: Cherry vodka, sprite and a lemon sugar rim. It tastes just like a cherry limeade and will kill you much faster.

DONT LIKE WHISKEY?! Fine. Mix it with strawberry lemonade from a jug. People will drink it regardless of how bad the whiskey is.

Want to make a margarita fast for people who have the taste buds of a frat star? Throw your tequila into some off the shelf limeaid, add some sprite and a splash of minute made tequila. They will believe that it is a nice margarita.

I am telling you, all of these vile, ridiculous things worked incredibly well.

LOL "minute maid orange juice" not tequila. But really, what's the difference.