I have a passionate disdain for gendered relationship advice.

Is this gonna be a rant thread?

....yeah imma make it a thread.
It creates this ideal that men and women are psychologically different when the differences are only sociological performances. Throughout history what makes a "real man/woman" has constantly shifted. Because we're acting in whichever way society deems acceptable.
Simply changing the title of an article from "Why He Cheated On You" into "Why They Cheated On You" will eliminate that knee-jerk reaction people have to engage in a gender war.

It just tears people apart and enforces the idea that we need to play mind games.
Via my private FB page:
If someone lies or cheats it's not your fault and it also doesn't make them an inherently bad person. The action is objectively wrong of course but we can imply some nuance there to make it a little more understanding.
They have a, "don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness," mentality that was bred in early childhood when their caregivers didn't empathize with them.

They were likely punished and developed a sneaky personality and anxiety fueled by constant guilt.
That makes them feel like they need to go behind their loved ones' backs to enjoy themselves for even suggesting that they want to break from a rigid set of rules. And relationships come with a rigid set of rules. It can feel like prison.
They may unnecessarily lie to you about going out drinking and other things that aren't a big deal to you for fear of punishment. Because they associate fun with bad behavior and guilt. They were never allowed to cut loose without repercussion.
Sidebar #1: As an intelligent and understanding person being lied to pisses me off the most. I'm always down for anything that will bring my partner joy but they still choose to lie.

That's because parents lead them into a false sense of security then punish them.
Sidebar #2: Being understanding doesn't mean you should be a doormat. That's not healthy for you and I'd advise you to let someone go to figure themselves out after the first betrayal.
Is lifelong monogamy as in sustainable?

If it was we would see a history of powerful men being monogamous but we don't see that. Monogamy was something that was only expected of women, or else. Cheating isn't in a man's nature any more or less than it is in a woman's nature.
Monogamy accompanied the idea that women had to be teenage virgins for a 40 year old man on his third wife.

Virginity was created so fathers could sell their pure daughters for land or political power.

To uphold honor women had to be faithful to their (often shared) husband.
Historically, men haven't been shamed for cheating. In the past, a woman staying with the man after his infidelity was seen as noble and strong. Juxaposition that with today and any woman who stays with an unfaithful man will be publicly ridiculed as stupid or a pick-me.
In the 1990s urologist Helen O'Connell redefined our understanding of the clitoris. Vaginal pleasure is still a new concept so we don't understand that women can and do enjoy sex as much as men and have as much curiosity about multiple sexual partners.
The framing of sex and relationships as gender-based hinders our understanding of how we function. So we aren't invested in communicating or bonding with each other.

Straight people often display hate towards each other on these apps while loving their friends unconditionally.
Now we're all on opposite sides of a battlefield reading into the enemy's actions to see how we can protect ourselves from heartbreak and play mind games to achieve our goals in this war.

Your homeboys are your allies and her homegirls are hers.
Your friends hold your secrets as you both lie in the same bed every evening sleeping with someone who you don't trust because you think they're the roadblock to your complete fulfilment.

Loving and understanding each other is seen as simping or being a pick-me.
Meanwhile the queer community ignores these gender norms while looking at our, relatively, petty grievances and asking, "are the straights okay?"

No, we are not and it's pathetic.

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