#BarnLaw thread

The court case yesterday went very well, based on the judge's piercing questions of the other side, and the other side's floundering nonsensical "answers".

...but the court has not yet issued an opinion, so we don't know for sure.

Presuming we win the case, the neighbor's next step is to appeal to the town zoning board for a variance.

One can imagine that the opinion is issued in a week, and neighbor submits application >

two weeks after that. Which gets him on the schedule for the 6 October zoning board meeting.

I've already written my rebuttal of his application and it is BRUTAL.

I the board fails to give him a variance, then branch A:

he gets a lawyer and appeals to the court.

In general, to go to court you must first exhaust administrative appeals. I'm not sure if a variance being denied can be appealed to the same board for a rehearing. If so, he has to do that.

So perhaps he wins at the rehearing, in which case GOTO BRANCH B.

But, if >

either he loses the appeal, or no appeal is necessary, then he likely gets a lawyer and appeals the variance denial to court. At which point I tag back in and co-join the town in defense of the variance denial.

Defending variance denial would be trivial ;

there is no presumption of a variance being granted; quite the opposite, actually.

So that's likely the end of branch A (where zoning board refuses a variance): he gets a lawyer, goes to court, loses.

On to branch B

Branch B is where the variance is granted by the good ole boys on the town zoning board.

Then we sue the town a second time, alleging that the variance was granted illegally.

The facts are hugely on our side here. First off, variances are authorized under RSA 674-33

And 674-33 is about cases where the building has not yet been built.

In this case, bc Gil violated the Cease and Desist order and BUILT THE BUILDING, he is no longer a candidate for a variance.

So our first point in challenging a variance is "you simply can't issue one".

Gil, having built a building, must instead apply for an equitable waiver of dimensional requirements under 674-33-A.

Second, even if the court does not buy that argument, we have hard facts that rebut every single branch of the 5 point test that Gil must pass to get a varnc

If we win that challenge, Gil goes back to ZBA and maybe applies for a waiver of dimensional requirements.

He also loses on all four points of the test for that.

But perhaps the town issues it anyway.

So back to court to get it dismissed.

In general, each round of court

costs me about $4-5k

...but that's ok. I earn decent money, and fighting people is the most enjoyable of all of my hobbies, so it's worth it.

So eventually we get to a point where we've won

- challenge issuance of permit
- challenge variance
- challenge dimension waiver

at which point we launch a fourth lawsuit, which is a request for the town to pay our legal fees. This is only upheld in cases where there is evidence of gross bias against one individual ... and if town ZBA votes against us on variance and/or dimensional waiver, despite >

overwhelming facts, that would, to my eye, be perfect evidence that there was such a bias.

Doing three hideously dumb / illegal things, and losing in court after each of them is convincing, no?

so anyway, this thing could drag on for 4 - 6 years.

But, as I said, I like to fight.

I'm trying to convince @BostonDelendEst to co-write a story with me!

Btw, any of my other lawyer friends - offer is open to you. Criminal defense, land use attorneys, whatever - want to co-write a legal thriller short story set on the moon?

Has Gil tried to settle out of court with me?


He still has no idea what he's dealing with.

And, besides, at this point, the ram has touched the wall.



Injunctive relief, bare minimum.

On both this and several other issues.

- barn comes down
- foundations are dug up and removed
- mountains of scrap metal and dead vehicles removed (under a separate law he's violating)

if he ends up having to sell the house, so be it... >

...and if it DOES go on the market, I'll buy it, clean it up, landscape, and then rent it out (to ensure that it always stays nice).

well OBVIOUSLY Lana!

I've already discussed this with my realtor and picked the name of the family trust that would make the offer.


some dick chimes into the thread, @ctdonath rebuts

Two funny things about this:
(a) how DARE you suggest that the laws that the Good Old Boys wrote themselves should be enforced?!?
(b) if there was justice, this'd be settled with guns...and it might be!

to address each:
@ctdonath 21/

(a) I didn't write the zoning code. I did, however, read the whole thing, which has been law since c. 1980. It existed before either neighbor or I bought our houses. ZBA president helped write it.

So ... hell, yes, I'm going to ask ZBA president to abide by it.
@ctdonath 22/

Under what moral or political viewpoint does one defend "ok, yes, there is written law, but the guy who wrote the law shouldn't be bound by it because, um ... divine right of k̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ Jack Deah-Bahn" ?

srs question, how do you justify that?
@ctdonath 23/

and re (b) [ "this could and should be settled with fisticuffs and/or arson" ]:

ok, let's go!

I have never in my life shied away from a fist fight. I never throw the first punch, but I usually throw the last.

And if you're talking arson and/or guns ...
@ctdonath 24/

...the nearest AR-15 is 8 feet from where I sit, and there's a 30 round mag in the mag well right now.
@ctdonath 25/

But, that said, I prefer the peaceful approach. Which is why I told neighbor "you're building in the wrong place, but I'll pay for the logging to clear the right place".

It's also why >
@ctdonath 26/

After his four akitas got out, charged onto my land, and savaged one of my dogs, I didn't press to have the dog destroyed.

...and why when it happened AGAIN, I commanded the dogs to leave and scared them off with WARNING shots.
@ctdonath 27/

I have no need to engage in violence. I think that God looks down upon it, and commands us not to, whenever it's possible to avoid it.

...but I sure as hell do ENJOY violence, and I can and will beat a man into the ground and love every second of it.

So, sure. Go for it.

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