Private equity sounds like just another source of investment capital, like venture capital or hedge funds, but while these can be incredibly destructive and toxic, private equity has perfected destroying the real economy, ruining lives and making rich people richer.
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PE is fundamentally about destroying real value and converting it to wealth for already-rich people.
Here's the core play: buy a company, load it up with debt, fire employees, cut wages and squeeze suppliers.
Value is transferred from productive businesses and workers to partners, bankers and lawyers in coastal cities. New monies flow in through lobbying, litigation, price-hikes and pension fund looting, paid out as dividends and consulting fees.
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Companies acquired by PE funds see sharp debt hikes, slowed revenue growth, and plummeting capex.
PE is behind so much of what's wrong in the world today, from looting Canada's beloved Mountain Equipment Co-Op:
The US Government kicked off an incredible debt bonanza when it announced that it would buy corporate bonds, no matter how crappy the company's fundamentals were, leaving the largest firms awash in effectively free cash.
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Naturally, PE - which never met a debt it didn't like - hopped on board. The latest PE craze is dividend recapitalisations ("divi recaps"), AKA "borrowing crazy amounts of money on behalf of a company and then just sticking it in your pocket."
ONE QUARTER of all US debt raised in September went to divi recaps (it was 4% over the past two years). That's FOUR BILLION DOLLARS THIS MONTH.
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Oh, then there's this: "investors express concern over loose documentation underpinning the loans, offering little protection to investors should a company end up in trouble." -@JARennison, @FT
What could possibly go wrong?
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This is the true heart of the "zombie economy" - an economy that "improves" whenever sociopaths destroy its productive capacity:
The best summary of Trump's trade "philosophy" comes from Trashfuture's November Kelly, who said that Trump is flipping over the table in a poker game that's rigged in his favor because he resents having to pretend to play the game at all.
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Ireland is a tax haven. In the 1970s and 1980s, life in the civil-war wracked country was hard - between poverty, scarce employment and civil unrest, the country hemorrhaged its best and brightest. As the saying went, "Ireland's top export is the Irish."
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Code is a liability (not an asset). Tech bosses don't understand this. They think AI is great because it produces 10,000 times more code than a programmer, but that just means it's producing 10,000 times more liabilities.
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We are about to get a "post-American internet," because we are entering a post-American *era* and a post-American *world*. Some of that is Trump's doing, and some of that is down to his predecessors.
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Look, I'm not trying to say that new technologies *never* raise gnarly new legal questions. But what I *am* saying is that a lot of the time, the "new legal challenges" raised by technology are somewhere between 95-100% bullshit.
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It's ginned up by none-too-bright tech bros and their investors, and then swallowed by regulators and lawmakers who are either so credulous they'd lose a game of peek-a-boo, or (likely) in on the scam.
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I have a weird fascination with early-stage Bill Gates, after his mother convinced a pal of hers - chairman of IBM's board of directors - to give her son the contract to provide the operating system for the new IBM PC.
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Gates and his pal Paul Allen tricked another programmer into selling them the rights to DOS, which they sold to IBM, setting Microsoft on the path to be one of the most profitable businesses in human history.
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