Thread by @prawncis

Because I'm missing Bombay today, I'm making a thread of the best things to order at my favourite Bombay restaurants.

Kayani - Bun muska and oddly enough, the burger.
Sunlight - Achari kebab
Military Cafe, Fort - Biriyani + caramel custard

Zaffran - Oh how I miss Zaffran and staggering in there after drinking too much - but only the one at CST.

Chicken Chello kabab - buttery, decadent goodness
Zaffrani Chicken tikka
Sulemani chai

They also had a crispy fried greens thing that's not on the menu but is perfect.

Cafe Mocambo - chicken a la Kiev
Yazdani cafe - brun maska, bun maska, chai, rum cake around Christmas
Hotel Deluxe- Sunday set lunch+beef fry+prawn fry
Ling's Pavilion - Bamboo rice + Mongolian chicken
Bade miyan - Biriyani is surprisingly good

New Martin - Sausage pulao :'(
Theobroma - roast beef sandwich
Cafe Paris - Chicken Tikka Biriyani (I used to live next to this hole in the wall place at the far end of Colaba and it's SO tasty and cheap and I miss it so much)
Jafferbhai's Delhi Durbar - Mutton biriyani

When I just joined XIC, a group of us went to Kyani and a Very Delhi Classmate told the waiter sarcastically "Excuse me we're hungry" and the man shot back "Bhook lag raha hai toh ghar jaake khao!" and just in honour of that moment I keep going back to Kyani whenever I can.

I was too broke to drink in the first few months of XIC so I would just go to chill with my new classmates at Sunlight and eat a piece of the achari kebab whenever someone ordered it. I had a medical condition and wasn't supposed to be around smoke but I'd sit in the smoky

upstairs room with all these people I barely knew because those achari kebabs were so damn good.
Eventually I made new friends who switched to Gokul in Colaba and I cannot remember the food at Gokul despite spending most of my evenings there, but I remember having fun.

Actually I can't talk about food in Bombay without talking about Yohan Daver, my classmate from XIC and the person who really made me fall in love with the city. Yohan was a typical South Bombay boy and I still don't know why he decided to ditch the other Parsi boy from class

and start hanging out with us. Yohan really loved food and really loved Bombay and his excitement was infectious. So all the favourite food I'm writing about in South Bombay - Yohan introduced me to it. Every day after class he'd announce the new restaurant we were going

to, and we'd pile into Aneeta's car and he'd tell us the history of the place and all the good times he'd had there and then introduce us to the best dishes and they were always EXCELLENT. I was doing a ton of freelance just to be able to afford all the good meals that

Yohan was dragging us for and I have no regrets whatsoever. The only time my studious ass missed writing class was when he insisted that we HAD to taste the chicken a la kiev at Mocambo without delay. I explained my absence by describing the dish to the prof in such detail that

a decade later she still remembers it. Zaffran at 3am? That's Yohan. The entire order, including the off-menu crispy greens. The waiters knew us so well it was embarrassing.

I'll always associate Ling's Pavilion with my friend Akanksha's parents coming to town and taking us to lunch and we didn't realise until later that IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE NEVER TOLD US but goddamn the dishes Yohan ordered that day were unbeatable. Btw, she married Yohan.

Years after we left college, I moved to Colaba and finally managed to make it to Martin's in time for the chorizo pulao that Yohan recommended. Also the correct value for money way to eat at All Stir Fry - tiny tiny portions. Resist the urge to fill up your bowl.

Yohan also introduced me to sushi at Global Fusion, and taught me the correct way to eat it. He taught me how to order steak and cut it right, that sizzler places have the best iced tea, that Parsi food is best enjoyed in a Parsi home and showed me how to pick a whisky.

I used to talk to my then girlfriend on the phone for an hour every night even when we were out and paced around a lot while I spoke. One night, as I was pacing outside Ghetto, I discovered a strange spot.

Right at the end of my year at college, I took Yohan, Aneeta and Akanksha up a tiny passage next to Ghetto that led to a slum, but just before it tilted down towards the houses, at the very top, you had a clear view of the sea, and the moon.

Yohan raised his umbrella and I drunkenly knelt and he dubbed me a true citizen of Bombay and despite how ridiculous the whole situation was and how much we laughed after, I still remember that night and moment from a decade ago with unnecessary clarity and emotion.

I also have to thank Yohan for noticing that I detest carrots and picking them out of my plate whenever we ate together. When I told my girlfriend he did this, she was jealous and to date she also does this because Yohan can't be better than her right?

The last meal I had with Yohan was in 2019 before he moved to LA. He broke out some good single malt and then we went to Pa Pa Ya at BKC and ate sushi and so many things I don't remember but I felt warm and loved and felt Bombay's magic wrapping me up all over again.

UPDATE: This thread somehow reached Yohan and Akanksha and turns out today was the 10 year anniversary of him asking her out in the back of a cab on the way to Zaffran after one of the nights we went drinking at Food Court. The universe is truly strange.