1/ I'm nearly 50, I've had to reckon with people I admired, even mentors, who've turned out to be hiding terrible actions and/or revealed themselves to hate me & what I stand for.
It's like death: it feels terrible, but it's an expected part of a broadly lived life.
2/ The way to deal with the sorrow of losing a mentor - either through them changing, you changing, or you finding out new information - is to recognize that the relationship was based on a mutual acceptance of shared ethics & what you shared is now broken.
3/ But I've seen that many enablers of abuse can't accept they were ever wrong (about anything)
Cognitive dissonance is VERY powerful. It's an anxiety disorder IMO & it comes from a lack of self-respect
To be healthy & righteous, you must accept the idea that you can be flawed!
4/ As a distant spiritual advisor for whoever needs it, I implore people to have a system of error-checking. You must have someone who not only can tell you that you're wrong, but that you'll listen & change.
5/ If you have no plan for accepting criticism, then you cannot plausibly change yourself for the better
Being stubborn to protect your ego? Then you may find yourself wearing a RedHat and laughing at people crying in pain and fear
6/ I've said this many times, but it's crucial now in #Tishrei 5781, when the whole world lies in the balance: if you change ethics when it hurts you, you were never ethical.
Bravery means withstanding the pain your ethics force upon you.
7/ I've lost a few teachers, I've left political movements, it's always painful. It can be done and I pledge to help anybody who wants to change, to break the addiction, to stop hurting themselves & others.
196.03/ #NachasAlert: My son has a big article (pages 4-6) in this week's Torah journal from his high school #Metzora-#HaGadol. Enjoy! drive.google.com/file/d/1uNKU5O…
195.02/ Happy #Eclipse2024 Day for all who celebrate. Here's an interesting article about the halakhic implications of an eclipse by Rabbi Dov Linzer: blogs.timesofisrael.com/solar-eclipse-…
195.03/ #Eclipse2024 My extended family went to a place of 100% totality and took this picture a few minutes ago. For me its 90% and can't be photographed (which is one reason I said shehechiyanu). Not paskening for anyone else, but for me this is a religious experience.
194.02/ #ChochmatNashim for #Shemini 5784.
@ChochmatNashim
Downloadable PDF with working links to Divrei Torah by Orthodox women scholars on the parsha and other topics of the week. #Shmini #HaChodesh drive.google.com/file/d/1bFHTfW…
193.03/ #NachasAlert: Final (so far) tally of times my son leyned Megillah seven times; 3 last night, four times today. Including once for a home-bound Shoah survivor. So proud.
192.02/ So today is #ZayinAdar and Saint Patrick's Day during Ramadan. What could go wrong?
192.03/ There's a resonance in having a fast that commemorates a community sacrifice for soldiers fighting a defensive war against raging antisemites. #TaanitEsther
191.02/ Last #MotzeiShabbatMovieNight of the season. How to top last week, and with a movie my youngest hasn't seen yet? "Fletch (1985)" en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fletch_(f…
191.03/ I agree with Prof. Simkovich, re: the Oscar guy.
Also, I see people wrestling to make sense of his convoluted phrasing, but I'm not inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to a declaration that inherently refuses to give others the same benefit.