1/ I'm nearly 50, I've had to reckon with people I admired, even mentors, who've turned out to be hiding terrible actions and/or revealed themselves to hate me & what I stand for.
It's like death: it feels terrible, but it's an expected part of a broadly lived life.
2/ The way to deal with the sorrow of losing a mentor - either through them changing, you changing, or you finding out new information - is to recognize that the relationship was based on a mutual acceptance of shared ethics & what you shared is now broken.
3/ But I've seen that many enablers of abuse can't accept they were ever wrong (about anything)
Cognitive dissonance is VERY powerful. It's an anxiety disorder IMO & it comes from a lack of self-respect
To be healthy & righteous, you must accept the idea that you can be flawed!
4/ As a distant spiritual advisor for whoever needs it, I implore people to have a system of error-checking. You must have someone who not only can tell you that you're wrong, but that you'll listen & change.
5/ If you have no plan for accepting criticism, then you cannot plausibly change yourself for the better
Being stubborn to protect your ego? Then you may find yourself wearing a RedHat and laughing at people crying in pain and fear
6/ I've said this many times, but it's crucial now in #Tishrei 5781, when the whole world lies in the balance: if you change ethics when it hurts you, you were never ethical.
Bravery means withstanding the pain your ethics force upon you.
7/ I've lost a few teachers, I've left political movements, it's always painful. It can be done and I pledge to help anybody who wants to change, to break the addiction, to stop hurting themselves & others.
227.02/ #ChochmatNashim for #ChayeiSara 5784 2023 (LAST YEAR) @ChochmatNashim.
Downloadable PDF with working links to Divrei Torah by Orthodox women scholars. 19 pages. #ChayaSara #ChayeiSarah
227.03/ The first time through the cruel & stupid Trump (ym'sh) circus I read the news with trepidation because I didn't know what terrible thing he'd do next. This time, I read the news with contempt & anger because the MSM helped elect him and wants him to succeed.
225.02/ Finally dropped off our ballots this morning & took a selfie. A fun thing then happened: a young dad carrying a baby arrived after us & he said that it was his first time voting after becoming a citizen! So I insisted on taking a photo of him (with his camera). USA! USA!
225.03/ Yes, I'm the one who waited all Shabbas for the poll, taught my kids how polls work (social science PhD, baby) & what I hoped would happen (GOP leading by only 5). And they got to see my stunned elation in real time when I read the news.
224.02/ There's sticker shock and then there's "standing on the bathroom scale after 3 three-day yuntifs and 2 major fasts over 3 weeks" sticker shock.
224.03/ BTW, Trump (ym"sh) abd the MAGA-GOP going completely mask-off with racist nativism was very much on my BINGO card.
223.02/ Downside of "October is the Best Sports Month" - mixed blessing really - is that at 8pm tonight 3 of my teams will be on at the same time. NYMets facing elimination, #LIGHTITUPNYL in the last game of the finals, and the Steelers on SNF.
223.03/ #ChochmatNashim for #Vezot #SimchatTorah #SheminiAtzeret 2023-5784 (LAST YEAR). @ChochmatNashim
Downloadable PDF with working links with Divrei Torah by Orthodox women scholars on the topics of the week. 23 Pages drive.google.com/file/d/1pQso-a…
222.02/ #ChochmatNashim for #Sukkot 5784 2023 (LAST YEAR) @ChochmatNashim.
Downloadable PDF with Divrei Torah by Orthodox women scholars on the holiday & other weekly topics. 15 pages. drive.google.com/file/d/154AH4_…
222.03/ Another October sports is awesome moment: Mets playoffs, Yankees playoffs, Monday night football plus the #NYR at home. Pretty much all at the same time.