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Dean Burnett (@garwboy everywhere else too) Profile picture
@garwboy
Sep 26, 2020 • 18 tweets • 11 min read • Read on X
Roughly 3 years ago today, we opted to let a tiny furry thing live in our house

I remember at the time tweeting something like "I hope he's not an arsehole". I'm hindsight, that was incredibly heuristic of me

#Pickle #Cattiversary
It's the 3 anniversary week of Pickle (our cat) coming to live with us. So, for long term fans of my ridiculous feline, or new followers who may like to know more about him, here's a thread of #ClassicPickle

/1
Pickle was a rescue kitten, from a litter of 7. Kids wanted one of the 2 *identical* tabbies. Then one jumped head first into an empty food sack. Couldn't get out

"Let's get this one, he seems stupid" I said. So it's technically its all my fault

#CassicPickle

/2
We spent weeks telling our 5yo son that he probably couldn't play with the new cat right away. He was a rescue cat. He'd be timid, nervous, need to get used to us

These pics were taken within 24 hours of getting him home. Pickle doesn't seem to do 'fear'

#ClassicPickle

/3
We live very near our kid's school. Pickle quickly decided it was *his* school too. As in, he owned it and could do what he wanted there, to the extent that we'd get told off by the teachers

Never about our kids, only ever the cat

#ClassicPickle



/4
Other things Pickle has invaded in the nearby school

Sports Day
Harvest festival
Staff room
PE class
Building works
Deputy head's car

#ClassicPickle

/5
Then there was the time Pickle summoned raw fish from out of nowhere, suggesting he has magic powers



#ClassicPickle

/6
But then, there was the time Pickle dabbled in drug dealing



#ClassicPickle

/7
Being a cat, Pickle has always been appreciated by Twitter. To the extent that he has tried Tweeting himself

#ClassicPickle



/8
This is all while still barging his way into the local school, where he would undoubtedly prove a bad influence



#ClassicPickle

/9
It's not just the school either. Pickle has a habit of invading other homes



This street is full of older, bigger cats, but Pickle turning up was like The Dark Knight when the Joker arrived in Gotham

#ClassicPickle

/10

Pickle has little fear of dogs either. Had an interviewee round my garden office once for a podcast

He brought his dog

Pickle was NOT happy about it, and ruined the whole thing by staring evils at us the whole time



#ClassicPickle

/11
Could there be a religion based around Pickle? Can't rule it out

#ClassicPickle

/12

Pickle's favourite pastime thus far has proven to be 'Making me look like a tit at every possible opportunity'



#ClassicPickle

/13
Pickle's timing has always been spot on, in fairness

#ClassicPickle



/14
And thus far, Pickle's biggest challenge (and most popular exploit thus far) has been our next-door neighbour's parrot



#ClassicPickle

/15
So yeah. Those are just some of the highlights of 3 years of being the nominal owner of Pickle.

I have a genuine worry that he's only just getting started

#ClassicPickle

/end
We all know the world is an ongoing dumpster fire right now, so to lighten the gloom please enjoy this thread about the ridiculous things that our cat Pickle has done since we got him 3 years ago

#ClassicPickle

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More from @garwboy

Dean Burnett (@garwboy everywhere else too) Profile picture
Oct 25
Disposable vapes to be banned from June



The disposable vapes ban has amped up negative coverage of vaping, and conflated *environmental* with *health* concerns

That's unhelpful, as coverage of vaping was already badly skewed

Consider the following

/1bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…
Daily Mail, 02/02/23
"Number of kids hospitalised by vaping QUADRUPLES in a year - as top expert fears crisis will only get worse"

That's obviously bad. If kids being hospitalised by something *quadruples* within a year, something must be done

But, wait a sec...

/2 Image
Under the hood, there are a few things to consider

1. 'Kids' in this context actually means 'under 18s'. So while the mind goes to poor innocent primary school children, it also includes practically-adult late teens, the ones typically demonised by publications such as this.

/3
Read 19 tweets
Dean Burnett (@garwboy everywhere else too) Profile picture
Oct 12
US states sue TikTok, claiming its addictive features harm youth mental health



On closer inspection, this case misuses neuroscience so severely that it seems like it could potentially make it illegal in the US for young people to have fun.

Seriously

/1theguardian.com/technology/202…
There are so many neuropsychological flaws in this case

E.g. filings state TikTok is designed to be "intentionally addictive". The conclusion here is that TikTok, a software construct, causes addiction.

Many would agree that this is valid. But you know who doesn't?...

/2 Image
The AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION (APA)

The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) lists all the disorders, and their diagnostic criteria, acknowledged by the APA. Various forms of addictions are in there. 'TikTok addiction' is not.

/3
Read 19 tweets
Dean Burnett (@garwboy everywhere else too) Profile picture
Oct 2
Why are there so many awful stories about wellness bros?



Bizarrely, I cover this in my new kids book

*cough*

Basically: almost everyone benefits from a *community*, but many people really shouldn't have an *audience*

/1 theguardian.com/commentisfree/…
amzn.eu/d/0u5THhR
Image
At the fundamental, basic level, the ultrasocial human brain usually calibrates what it learns, figures out how the world works, based on feedback from other humans

Do a thing -> People get angry at you = Thing is bad
Do another ting -> People praise you = Thing is good

/2
This will be part of the reason why you get so much more conspiracy thinking now.

Before social media, you said "Guys, I actually think the Earth is flat", you get mocked in the pub by your mates, and your 'Derek Flat-Earth' for the foreseeable. So, you don't say it again.

/3
Read 13 tweets
Dean Burnett (@garwboy everywhere else too) Profile picture
Sep 20
Yesterday was the SEVEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY of...

#Pickle coming to live with us.

So, to celebrate the seven years of cat-based chaos our lives were immediately consumed by, here are seven of Pickle's greatest moments, in no particular order.

/1 Image
That time when Pickle 'convinced' me that he was stuck on the roof, which led to much mockery and swearing.



/2
That time when Pickle first encountered his ongoing nemesis: the neighbour's parrot, Bimbo.

Yes, that's his actual name. He's sixty years old now, so it probably made more sense with they first got him

/3

Read 9 tweets
Dean Burnett (@garwboy everywhere else too) Profile picture
Aug 29
I'm increasingly wary of such advice/guidelines/rules regarding phones for kids, as it all depends on two assumptions

- All parents know better about phones etc.
- All parents can be trusted to prioritise their child's wellbeing

But... neither of these are true

/1 SP simplepolitics Following : Smartphone advice from phone provider EE has issued guidance for parents of under 16s to help improve 'digital wellbeing': Under 11s 11-13 13-16 Recommend no smartphones, instead non-smart devices with limited capabilities like text/calls. If a smartphone is to be used it needs parental controls and to restrict access to social media. Smartphones appropriate but still with parental controls. Social media access should be linked to a parent/guardian account. SP
Firstly, adults/parents being inherently (and illogically) suspicious of new tech and how it affects 'the children' is a phenomenon as old as civilisation.

And all this advice/guidelines seem both aimed at and shaped by such parents. This is not an evidence-based approach

/2
Not saying that countless parents aren't genuinely concerned, and may possibly be right to be concerned, but 'concerns' and 'possibilities' really aren't valid, robust grounds for the formation of rules that will directly impact countless young-people's lives.

/3
Read 15 tweets
Dean Burnett (@garwboy everywhere else too) Profile picture
Jun 12
This popped up in my feed. I've not encountered it before. So, here's my professional analysis

WHAT IN THE NAME OF GIDDY FU*K IS THIS BULLSH*T??

Apparently parents of autistic kids are being targeted by such things, so here's everything wrong with it I can find

#Autism #ND
/1 Online ad for service offering to treat autism with stem cell therapy Image includes small boy, in grayscale, looking down sadly, designated 'before'. Next to this is supposedly the same boy in colour, smiling and pointing, with the other hand doing a thumbs up. This one is designated 'after'. Text reads:
The line "Considering stem cell therapy for #autism ?"

I've no idea whether or not anyone is considering that, as I've never heard of the concept before. But nobody *should* be considering that. Because it's not a thing. For so many reasons.

/2
Then there's... this

Basically, this is word salad. Throw enough credible or science-y sounding words together, and it adds up to complex gibberish. What's a 'global family'? Why not throw a 'quantum' or 'neuro' in there too. They might as well at this point.

/3 Line from ad which reads " -Proven Experience: Since 2011, we've been aiding global families in achieving notable progress for children with autism through our holistic treatment programs, including stem cell therapy
Read 13 tweets

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