Steve Cuss Profile picture
Sep 26, 2020 13 tweets 3 min read Read on X
John says 'perfect love casts out fear.' Perfect love displaces fear. And I think fear can displace our awareness and experience of perfect love. It cannot displace God's love, but it sure can displace our awareness of it.

1/
Knowing you're in anxiety's grip is actually difficult, but you can learn to notice it when you are no longer aware of God's presence and God's love. It could be that your anxiety has displaced your awareness of God's love.

2/
Signs of it:

- you start to think it is all on you/all on your shoulders.
- 'if it is to be, it is up to me.' An anxious statement if ever I heard one.
- An impending feeling of doom or hopelessness.
- Rigid thinking, either-or locked in thinking
- double binding.

3/
Chronic Anxiety has a gospel.

'it is on you, there is not much you can do, you are not ______ enough, YOU are not enough, there are only bad options, try harder, do more of the same.'

Recognizing Chronic Anxiety's message helps you displace it with the actual Gospel.

4/
Even though we have the Gospel, we often don't access it. We spend most of our time living by our false selves, not by the Gospel. I have been doing this work for decades and I still spend more time living for false self, than I do resting in my identity in Christ.

5/
So it is essential for me to practice radical self kindness as spiritual transformation can be slow, slow, slow.

We think we should be further along by now.

That last sentence is yet another evidence of anxiety's grip.

Should, should, should.

6/
But what if you stopped 'shoulding all over yourself.'

What if you were at least as kind and patient with yourself as God is?

Perfect love displaces fear and Chronic Anxiety.

7/
Displacing it can be a learned spiritual practice.

1. Notice that I have lost touch with God's presence and love.
2. Name what I think I need that I don't really need.
3. Die to that.

8/
4. Jesus died so I don't have to ______ anymore
5. What if I were at least as ______ to myself as God is.
6. Pull out your life giving list and do something on that list.
7. Pause and breath, breath, breath.

God is as close as the air you breath, in and out.

9/
This is a slow, learned spiritual discipline.

A couple of disclaimers:

- There are at least 5 types of anxiety. I am only talking 'chronic' anxiety which always shows up based on false belief or assumption.

10/
PTSD, GAD, Grief, Acute anxiety etc are all based on real triggers and require a different set of tools.

11/
Finally, I rest most when I remember that not only is God with me, but God is AHEAD of me, already at work in the thing I am anxious about. God is there too. So when I walk into an anxious situation, I am walking into a situation where God is, and God is at work.

12/
I don't have to initiate, or do, but rather, my first task is to do my best to pay attention to God. What is God doing? How can I join what God is doing?

Easier tweeted than done, but a worthy endeavor.

13/13

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More from @stevecusswords

May 1
When I do workshops for teams, one tool we cover is communication styles. I ask 3 'either-or' questions. The first question:

Are you a rigid or fluid communicator?

This question is 'how do others receive my words?'

I am a RIGID communicator.

1/
In our chaplain group, my supervisor said, 'Steve, you talk as if you think you are the Pope. Everything is ex cathedra. Steve speaks and it is so.'

Ouch.

But also true.

My words carry WAY more weight and authority than I actually hold.

I SOUND more certain than I FEEL.
2/
My thinking is often quite fluid, but people experience me as having a certain opinion.

It takes extra energy to converse with a rigid communicator, because we talk as if we have the last word on the matter.

I had to learn to help my team push against my own views.

3/
Read 10 tweets
Apr 18
Day 4.

Chronic anxiety or 'reactivity' is based on false needs that feel real in the moment.

Acute anxiety is based on real threat.

Slamming the brakes, swerving to avoid an accident, losing a child on a playground, seeing a snake when you're out jogging - acute anxiety.

1/
Image
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Not doing it perfectly, letting someone down, needing to be understood - chronic anxiety.

The problem is, the 'chronic' VERY much feels like the 'acute' in the moment.

Your body cannot tell the difference until you train it.

2/
Humans seek 5 core false needs: control, perfection, having the answer, being there for others, approval.

Let's look at two....

3/
Read 10 tweets
Apr 17
Day 3.

Unaddressed reactivity wears us down.

We get reactive when we don't get a false need that feels like a real need.

What do you think you need that you don't really need? Image
We all have dozens of false needs and when we don't wrangle our many false need, they pile up and get the better of us and wear us out.

2/
Some of my false needs:
1. I need everyone I meet to like or approve of me.
2. I need to be understood.
3. I need to make the person in front of me feel better.
4. I need to always know what to say or do in any situation. You MUST see me as a smart person.

3/
Read 7 tweets
Apr 16
Day 2.

Reactivity stops us from being human sized.

We end up getting bigger or smaller than human sized.

1/
Image
Image
Some of us, when we are reactive get 'bigger.' We must have the last word. We no longer listen to learn, we now listen to advise, fix, correct, or mansplain. We get aggressive, we dominate the space. Some of us literally make ourselves bigger.

2/
Some of us get smaller than human sized. We no longer feel safe to be exactly ourselves in that space. We do not speak up in the meeting, we flatter rather than tell the truth, we get quiet.

Some of course get bigger or smaller, depending on the circumstance and people.

3/
Read 12 tweets
Apr 15
Reactivity exists and spreads in 4 spaces. Our tendency is to focus on anxiety in others, or to react to it but not notice it.

Some of us focus on others by enmeshing with them. When momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy...

1/ Image
Sometimes we focus on them by fixating: blaming, moving into self righteoussness, or irritation. 'Why do they do that?!!!'

But the absolute secret to reactivity management is to spend most of your time in 1st space.

Here are the spaces:

2/
1. The space inside me.
2. The space between me and the other.
3. The space inside the other.
4. The space between others.

3/
Read 9 tweets
Mar 22
A gentle reminder that your inner critic is telling you a gospel. It just happens to be a gospel of condemnation and shame.

I fired my IC, but he kept coming to work, like Milton from Office Space. I've learned to quieten it by containing it with God's first and last word.
1/
This is slow transformation work, not one and done. I started in 2016, noting how often I called myself 'stupid' or a 'moron.

50-100 times per week. Lord have mercy.

I vowed to treat myself the way God treats me. It was harder than I thought it would be.

2/
It turns out, I believed the gospel of 'self' and inner critic over the gospel of Jesus. And it took much faith and patience to relax into the gospel of Jesus.

Still a work in progress.

A quick test for you:

3/
Read 8 tweets

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