I generally like how I feel after I've done metta (loving-kindness meditation) "right", but I find I often have self-centered motives sneak into it that make it hard.
E.g. if I'm sending metta to a friend, I might hope that they are happy because I like it when people around me are happy. "Be happy, because that will be nicer for me!"
Also, just imagining someone happy makes me feel safe and then my focus starts alternating between the feeling of safety and the loving-kindness. The safety feels more appealing, but doesn't translate to longer-term satisfaction the way that focusing on loving-kindness does.
But there's a fix to this: sitting on public transit and sending metta to any strangers I see. First I'm in all likelihood never going to see these people again, so them being happy isn't going to benefit me. No self-centered incentive there.
Also, they usually have basically neutral or slightly stressed-out expressions, and I make it a point of sending them goodwill exactly as they are, without asking them to change. This seems to have the consequence that the actual loving-kindness gets easier to tap into.
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