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DutchNews.NL

Sep 28, 2020 • 62 tweets • 10 min read • Read on X

Are you ready? We are drunk. nos.nl/artikel/235020…

What are we expecting tonight? Not a press conference than could have been an email, like the last 17 or so. We've got some leaks already. dutchnews.nl/news/2020/09/n…

Prime Minster Mark Rutte is right goddamn into it. "From tomorrow at 18:00 there will be stricter rules."

"There have been developing insights," he says. There are three security regions (we, ahem, discussed this last time): Nada, Extra Measures, and Fucked.

Those are not the official titles, stop messaging us.

Basically, we've got big ole problems in Amsterdam, The Hague and Rotterdam.

Flevoland be like:

We are going to have national measures, Rutte says, but first, we go to Grease-extra and health minister Hugo de Jonge.

How we imagine Hugo de Jonge when he leaves his house in the morning:

De Jonge: All we do is to protect the most vulnerable people. (And what are the rest of us? Chopped liver?)

In the spring, he says, we have shown that we can do it. But now it is becoming busier, people don't keep distance, people with complaints don't stay home.

This is not good enough, he says.

He says that a week ago we had 1,500 infections a day, now it is 3,000. By next week, they expect 5,000. A week ago there were 85 patients in the ICU, now there are 142.

He says that even with measures, he expects the ICU numbers will rise to 400. "These are not abstract numbers, these are people who need help." (Ok that we can agree with.)

He says he wants to be as light as possible while hitting the virus as hard as possible. (Seems...challenging...)

The measures, which they haven't said what they are yet because they want us to stay tuned in or something, will last three weeks.

We got some ideas because the government leaks like a paper mache canoe. dutchnews.nl/news/2020/09/n…

Back to Rutte. We didn't see de Jonge's shoes. Did you?

Rutte says he wants your forgiveness for giving this speech again. Stay home with complaints, sneeze in your elbow, keep your distance. (Anyone else having nightmares with Rutte just yelling hou ja afstand or just us?)

Ok here we go with actual rules. Now pay attention, ya lushes:

Work from home unless you absolutely cannot (check we haven't left the house in months what even is an office)

No team building, no utijes (you all have been voluntarily spending time with your coworkers?!?!)

Limited movement, don't shop in groups, don't get on OV unless you absolutely must (great, we spend all our money on bol anyway)

Outside events can have a max of 40 people (Who has that many friends?)

Four people in a group unless it's a household (who has three friends?)

No more than three guests for a visit at home beyond the household (hahahahhaha your circle parties are canceled again)

For other places, regional safety boards will determine how many people can enter

You must be able to keep your distance in shops

OMG IRMA AND THAT SUIT ARE THE ABSOLUTLE BEST

Ok ok back to the serious stuff.

In Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Den Haag it is advised (not required) to a wear masks in shops and shops can refuse access to people who aren't wearing them.

Shops need to make special hours for the elderly

Horeca: Stricter measures y'all. Last entry at 21:00, closed at 22:00 (enjoy your last late night beer tonight)

(Kidding go the fuck home and stay there)

No more public at sporting events, professional or amateur. (Turns out telling people not to yell doesn't work)

Sports canteens are closed

Contact professions (hair dressers, etc) must register and also horeca

This is a lot, we will have a list on the website and it's also on the government's website.

Rutte says he knows this is difficult but that it is important that people follow the rules. "It is up to us to get the virus under control." (Yes but have you looked into maybe getting some more testing just wondering.)

On question time

First from the NOS: When we will see results from the measures? (Idk buddy what's the incubation period of the virus, a three year old knows this) Rutte says 10 to 14 days.

Masks baby. We knew this was coming. Rutte says we already have them in Schiphol and in OV, he says we've tried everything else, we must do it even if it has a limited effect. (Have you tried more testing tho)

Are you not afraid that people will go home together after the bars shut? (Do I got news for you if you think this is a new thing.) Rutte says we can't control behind the front door. (They actually can't, they tried, but laws.)

From RTL, are we too late?

De Jonge says we should have started sooner with national measures.

You saw this last week, shouldn't you have done this then? (Correct answer: yes) De Jonge's answer: Yes (wow....) He says we have to get the R below one.

Why are people not behaving? (Who is this person and do they know any people?) Rutte says some political stuff that doesn't matter.

How will you deal with the BOAs? (Which has been an issssueeee dutchnews.nl/news/2020/09/b…)

Rutte says people have to stay home and that will help.

There is a question about ventilation which apparently is very popular in Germany. De Jonge says that buildings have to keep to the regulations and they are looking into care homes and school (like you're looking into that app?)

What about traveling between regions? Rutte says if you have plans, go there and then stay in your house. Don't go seeing if the potatoes are cheaper there. (Is Rutte encouraging people to take their own potatoes with them? What about their hagelslag?)

(Also do Dutch people check potato prices as a fun outing on vacation?)

Rutte says he isn't going to speculate about other measures, the measures are set by the virus (uhhh...is the virus part of the OMT?)

THERE ARE A LOT OF POTATOES IN THIS PRESS CONFERENCE

Is it not a hot potato (Yes this is the actual question) to go from region to region? De Jonge says the spring was very tough and everyone is convinced that we should try to do things regionally if possible. (Who is....everyone?)

Would a regional approach work next time? (BUDDY CAN WE GET THROUGH THIS TIME) De Jonge says they will look into it.

"It always comes down to behavior," he says. (Yeah and responsible government measures, don't blame us can you can't sort out testing or an app or your hair.)

Forced quarantine? De Jonge says they are looking into what is possible. (There have been a lot of legal challenges this to this.)

What has the government done wrong? (Oh boy we do not want to be here until next week.) We have problems with testing and contact tracing.

Question about holidays. If you go on holiday, you have to follow the rules of that country (2020 is crazy but the concept of national laws hasn't changed y'all) Rutte says there aren't many possibilities if you go abroad.

From the NRC, do these measures agree with the OMT? (Excellent question)

OMT says 20 people, the government is saying 30. OMT says 3 people inside from age 15, government says 4 people from 13.

Will the OMT be public? No only afterwards (Assuming there is still a society)

A question over the dashboard: We had a lot of indicators, were you too late? Do you want to take measures faster next time? De Jonge says they are still working on a more predictable package (just like testing and etc etc we're tired of typing the same thing)

Will there be a new support package for people? They are looking into it.

Will Rutte wear a mask when he's grocery shopping? (Another great question) Rutte says yes, he thinks so.

There's a lot of arguments about masks. We're not taking a position on this please stop tagging us in our mask fights. Rutte says there are believers on both sides, you see increases in places with masks as well, but we need what extra effects we can get.

There's a specific question about takeaways leading us to believe someone's dinner plans for tomorrow are in danger. Take away can close at 2AM but no alcohol after 22:00. (Who is getting take away at 2AM with no bars open?)

Why no limits for churches? (Jesus asked nicely?) Rutte says there is contact between churches and....Ferd Grapperhaus (we can't stop laughing sorry we have died of irony)