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/null Profile picture
@ghostofkt
Sep 30, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
TRUMP: they’re throwing bags in the river. you did the logan act on me with barack and everybody saw today what hillary did

WIFE (blissfully offline): what the fuck is he talking about

ME (shamefully versed in lore of the fox news cinematic universe): I have no fuckin idea
it’s my weird hobby to keep close tabs on all the weird alternate-reality fan fiction the MAGA kooks like to communicate in - I feel like I keep up with better than 90% of it - and he legitimately lost me. I cannot imagine seeing that as someone without internet brain
big distinction between internet brain & internet poisoning: if you’re highly aware internet politics is a bunch of weirdass shit that creeps out normal people if you start babbling in it and so you edit yourself, that’s internet brain. if you don’t edit yourself, you’re poisoned
I wrote more about this here so no need to repeat it. but it is just totally bonkers the dude used a debate to mumblescream crazy MAGA rally fanfic nuggets to the entire general public and hand biden the invaluable gift of looking totally normal the whole night

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More from @ghostofkt

/null Profile picture
Apr 21, 2023
cat turd finding out he spent 8 bucks to join the nerd club
this is the most fascinating mass intersection of the socially maladjusted and capitalism
cannot comprehend how funny this is
Read 9 tweets
/null Profile picture
Apr 20, 2023
what actually happens is twitter takes the final jump from marginally useful platform with okay enough signposts to pointless platform littered with imposters and bad vibes nobody wants to use anymore
this is why it’s so damn funny catturd is whining incessantly about engagement: he thinks he’s being throttled by a boogeyman algorithm but what actually happened is he peaked, people got bored and left, and you can’t squeeze more clickjuice out of this rotten lemon
the network effects that lock people into the ecosystem are the same network effects that drive engagement stagnation once enough people have had enough of your shit and nobody new is coming along because the network is too fucking convoluted to put in the work to get inside
Read 6 tweets
/null Profile picture
Apr 20, 2023
whoa whoa whoa who’s “they” here, mr shit
just impossibly funny to me that these goons keep blaming “the algorithm” for lack of engagement when it is gallingly apparent to anyone who’s been here a while that the problem is twitter has no juice left. the vibes are rotten. the platform doesn’t buzz anymore.
everyone knows who everyone is and hates everyone. they don’t engage because they know you suck ass or they blocked you. nobody new shows up because the place is impossible to navigate and no one is stupid enough anymore to trust fresh low follower accounts. it rules, really
Read 4 tweets
/null Profile picture
Jan 27, 2023
desperate for content
considerably less nervous about this game after hearing this sad ass tale
“here’s footage of a different team winning a game when you were in diapers, are you not fired up”
Read 4 tweets
/null Profile picture
Dec 28, 2022
the worse this gets the more I wonder what he even wants these gigs for, he could toss off all responsibility, be rich af, get a lifetime appointment on fox news shitting on this or that woke thing, probably get his own shark tank show for dipshits peddling freedom phones
he’s clearly entered the realm of “has zero interest in being in charge other than to say he’s in charge”, it seems like it would be way more fun for him to just be the worlds foremost full time culture war goblin you cannot evade on any media for longer than five seconds
and yeah this was absolutely trump’s wheelhouse until he pulled an oopsie I did a coup attempt, but that means the wheelhouse is wide open and frankly elon would be a lot better at it than he is at running any company
Read 5 tweets
/null Profile picture
Dec 27, 2022
I take it all back, he’s a true poster
would like to thank our technoking for adding this incredible feature that allows me to witness his corncobbing in a single click
don’t put in the papers he got mad
Read 6 tweets

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