1/ The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck (in a Twitter thread)...
Now, while not giving a fuck may seem simple on the surface, it’s a whole new bag of burritos under the hood. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t give a fuck. A bag of burritos sounds awesome, let’s go with it
2/ The point is, most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many fucks in situations where fucks do not deserve to be given. We give a fuck about the rude gas station attendant who gave us too many nickels. We give a fuck when a show we liked was canceled on TV.
3/ We give a fuck when our coworkers don’t bother asking us about our awesome weekend. We give a fuck when it’s raining and we were supposed to go jogging in the morning.
4/ Fucks given everywhere. Strewn about like seeds in mother-fucking spring time. And for what purpose? For what reason? Convenience? Easy comforts? A pat on the fucking back maybe?
This is the problem, my friend.
5/ Because when we give too many fucks, when we choose to give a fuck about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that’s when life fucks us.
6/ Indeed, the ability to reserve our fucks for only the most fuckworthy of situations would make life a hell of a lot easier. Failure would be less terrifying. Rejection less painful. Unpleasant necessities more pleasant and the unsavory shit sandwiches a little bit more savory.
7/ I mean, if we could only give a few less fucks, or a few more consciously-directed fucks, then life would feel pretty fucking easy.
8/ What we don’t realize is that there is a fine art of non-fuck-giving. People aren’t just born not giving a fuck. In fact, we’re born giving way too many fucks. Ever watch a kid cry his eyes out because his hat is the wrong shade of blue? Exactly. Fuck that kid.
9/ Developing the ability to control and manage the fucks you give is the essence of strength and integrity. We must craft and hone our lack of fuckery over the course of years and decades.
10/ Like a fine wine, our fucks must age into a fine vintage, only uncorked and given on the most special fucking occasions.
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When I was young, I dealt with serious social anxiety. Then I got over it.
Since then, I’ve spent 15 years working with 1,000s of people who also struggle with anxiety.
This is what works (a thread) 👇
The increase in adults struggling with Social Anxiety Disorder is out of control. It’s the second highest diagnosed anxiety disorder, affecting 15 million Americans each year.
That’s 15 million people giving way too many fucks.
Socially anxious behavior shows up in a ton of ways, everything from avoiding situations where you could draw attention, to feeling self-conscious in very normal, everyday situations, to awkwardly wondering what to do with your hands all the time.
But did you know that there’s a psychological phenomenon underpinning all socially anxious behavior?
Here’s a comparison between one man—who survived four Nazi concentration camps—and today’s young people, who seem barely able to survive anything 👇
According to a recent Harvard study, 50% of the mental health challenges suffered by young adults come down to a lack of direction. Or, in simple terms, people don’t know what to give a fuck about.
It’s long been understood that having meaning and purpose gives humans a sense of autonomy and self-worth—that it’s the bedrock of a mentally healthy and happy person. That’s not new.
Why you shouldn't necessarily take life advice from rich people (a thread)👇
Have you ever noticed how many rich people advocate for a balanced, healthy and happy lifestyle—after they’re rich?
You know, after they've spent 10 years grinding, failing, suffering and eating Big Macs for breakfast?
Humans have a tendency to misplace cause and effect.
You'll see rich people notice improvement in their lives and their productivity when they start doing things like morning yoga and drinking chia seed smoothies for breakfast...
Today is my 40th birthday. Here are all the things that I know at 40 which I wish I knew at 20.
Starting with…
1. Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. If you treat yourself poorly, then you will unconsciously seek out and tolerate others who treat you poorly. If you treat yourself with dignity and respect, then you will only tolerate others who treat you with dignity and respect.
Get right with yourself. Get right with the world.
2. The only way to feel better about yourself is to do things worth feeling good about. Respect is earned, not given.
3. The only failure is not trying. The only rejection is not asking. The only mistake is not risking anything.
Success and failure are fuzzy concepts that only exist in your brain before you do something, not after. After the fact, everything will have some mixture of both success and failure within them. And the only real failure is doing nothing.
4. No one is coming to save you. No single thing will solve all of your problems. No goal, no achievement, no relationship will ever fix you. You will always feel mildly inadequate, and somewhat dissatisfied with your life. Nothing is wrong with you for feeling this way. On the contrary, it may be the most normal thing about you.
What I’m about to tell you is going to help you stop caring what people think so you can get on with your life and start being awesome like this guy 🧵👇
There's a concept in psychology known as the Spotlight Effect. Now, the Spotlight Effect says that we all tend to assume that people are paying far more attention to us than they actually are.
Think back to the last time you got a terrible haircut. Chances are you walked around all day assuming that everybody was staring at that fucking tragedy of a mop on your head. But the reality was most people didn't notice. And if they noticed, they sure didn't give a fuck.
There’s an amazing concept in psychology that might explain why you’re not making progress on your problems:
Years ago, researchers at Harvard sat people down and showed them a series of dots and asked them to identify which ones were blue.
At first, there was a mix of blue and non blue, and people were pretty accurate. But as the experiment went on, there were fewer blue dots shown, and people became less accurate and were regularly mistaken.