Not mine but my grandmother's. I discovered her diary dating from sept 1972 to 1996. She was an orphan and lived under her aunt. She was very beautiful and she even won Miss Solano when she was 17. She had a lot of suitors but she's secretly in love with some guy.
She never made a move because of the time period. And then one day, the guy talked to him to ask for his aunt and she offered to walk him there. They talked a lot during that walk and she never felt more happy because she's restricted to interact with boys for most of her life.
She said that that's the only time she smiled or laughed since her mother died and/or when her father left him. She felt at ease.
The feelings were mutual and they secretly met each other. Her aunt found out and she hated the guy because he's from a farming family.
But her aunt never restricted her from meeting him. One thing she's grateful for.
One day, the guy left because his father sent him on a logging trip since his father got hurt while farming and they can't let that amount of money just pass by.
They promised to send each other letters and they did. Weeks turned to months and months turned to 2 years. He stopped sending after the first 6 months but she never did. She was hopeful and worried and cried herself for weeks.
That's also the time she met my lolo.
She hated my Lolo for a lot of reasons. His greediness, the way he walks around like he owns everything. Basically, everything about him. But her aunt loved him and they were forced to marry each other because my Lolo owns a lot of properties.
She sent one last letter.
She said that although she kept her promise, there's nothing she can do and she's marrying my Lolo next week. He didn't answered back. She'll always love him.
The day of the marriage, on her way to the church, she saw him waiting along the road. Holding her letter.
She wanted to cry when their eyes connected but she didnt. He's late.
She cried when she said her vows knowing well that it's not for the man beside her.
She went to their secret place after the ceremony since it's close to her house. Knowing well that he'll be there.
He tried to apologize and asked her to elope and leave everything behind but she smiled bitterly. She initiated the kiss - her 2nd after her 1st kiss during the ceremony. And told him that she's sorry too. She can't. She gave him another letter and left.
The next day she received a letter from him but she said to herself that it's done and there's nothing he can do to change her mind.
10 years later, she learned to love my lolo.
I just want to clarify na this story has been told by my lola herself to her relatives and random people. It was written in her diary pero it was never a secret. My lola gave it to mama as a gift. And mama gave it to my ate and later on, I found it and she gave it to me.
Also, yes... this is a sad story pero mas sad yung pinagdadaanan ng mga farmers. Please dont forget them.
I said yes to pisay as a lateral student primarily because of the added two month summer vacation. Still one of my greatest decisions in life (although pisay is such a pain in the ass sometimes) because of the people I met...
I hate how basketball transforms people (not the player themselves) because of some traumatic experience (Grade 9 at room 20). Dont judge me...
So ayun nagbabasa ako ng novel dito sa ice cream house malapit sa bahay ng biglang may random guy na biglang umupo sa table ko although wala namang tao maliban sa akin... awkward
and he just left. 17 years and I'm still unprepared to this "flirting game."
So while we're talking about Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy, my malandi self just googled:
Signs if a guy is gay and if he's flirting with you...
I'm not a hypocrite. I'm judgmental in so many ways and i know it. But sometimes people need to realize that - that is not who I am in every second of my life. I actually admire things and treasure more things than you know. I live for the clicheness and normalcy of live.
Tinignan ka lang, jinudge na kita.
Binasa lang sinulat mo, jinudge na kita.
Tinignan lang namatagal drawing mo, jinudge na kita.
Nagtwitch lang unti ang mukha kasi deep inside natuwa, jinduge na kita.
It feels like being judgmental defines me more than it should be. Minsan kahit natuwa ako bigla na lang sasabihin na "ano jinudge mo nanaman" and instead of fighting for my appreciation, i'll remain silent or joke about it.