at EF 2019 I was teetering on the edge of Christianity, pretty sure I didn’t believe it anymore. but being there in North Carolina with you all made me want to hang on a little longer, just to keep being part of it all.
I went back for EF 2020 but by the time I left Denver I knew that this wasn’t my space anymore. it didn’t resonate with me. the way you talked about Jesus / Bible / God was familiar, but I couldn’t join you in trying to reclaim that anymore. i was just done.
my wife is an ER physician in here in the Twin Cities. she told me that at one Minneapolis hospital, the last two ICU beds were filled last night by patients transferred in from Florida and Oklahoma because those beds were the nearest available ICU beds.
i've noticed that when a Christian person says they are questioning / deconstructing / leaving Church or Christianity, there is often a chorus of voices chiming in to declare that "just because you've left Christianity doesn't mean you've left Jesus"
let's talk about that.
My journey of faith has been a movement of continually transgressing the borders of my comfort zone, crossing the lines thou shalt not cross.
From fundamentalism, to Evangelicalism, to universalism, to vague Christian existentialism, to non-Christian theism, to mystic atheism...
My path led always to the borders of belief and I followed, trusting that which called me.
At every line, my group told me that this is the one I could not cross. To take the next step would mean that I was no longer one of "us", I would become one of "them".
I'm gonna do a quick thread here about #Exvangelical and #ChristianAltFacts when it comes to male sexuality. Some folks assume that the fundamentalist patriarchy was all fun and games for people with male bodies. This is not the case. Buckle up, kids.
1.) We were constantly pounded (ha!) with the idea that lust is "every man's battle". It is a battle that is almost impossible to win ("If you have unrestricted internet, you're guaranteed to look at porn!"), but if you loved Jesus you would try anyways.
2.) Here's the catch: All sexual desire was labeled as lust. You think a girl is cute? Lust. Intrigued by the pictures on magazine covers? Lust. You imagine having sex with a hypothetical future wife? Lust. God forbid you touch your own penis! Lust, lust, dirty sinful lust!