Thread by @tonnie_wa_juja

Story Za Tonnie Sn 4 Ep 4 ( HELL IN A CELL 🚔👮👹😭)

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second, When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's Albert Einstein on relativity. There's no better way to introduce this Story, so Skiza Story..

JUJA, April 2019. It was one of those calm Saturdays, my girl had come over for the weekend. I took her to my local joint to watch football and she really liked it, game locals hushika vinoma, kwanza banter inakua pale 😂. Game ya mwisho iliisha at around 8:30pm...

We had been together the entire time since she arrived, so nikamfikisha kejani then nikatoka kidogo kutake a breather, kukaa na dem for long mtazoeana vibaya😂. So nikatoka kupiga raundi moja J city alafu nirudi. Nikiwa kwenye harakati, kitu ikaniambia niingie joint ya pool😂.

I'm huge a Pool table fan, the only game I like more is football😂.Kuingia joint nikapata game ndo inaanza, ilikua game ya 100, Cabrones hawanga pesa bana. Nikaamua kudandia iko nene, besides, I'm very confident with my skills on Pool, mpaka local talents huwa wananiogopa mbaya😂

Joining that game was the worst decision that I made that night as it would turn out. I told myself I was only going to play one game then leave, I had told my girl I'd be back in like 20 minutes. Mostly in stories like this one, things never go as planned😂😂.

Three balls left on the table, I have the cue ball in hand, and I'm leading on the chalk board. I just need to pot two balls to win the damn game. Nikaekelea cue ball strategically kwa table, then went to chalk the cue stick, hio time nilikua nabonga chafu😂,hio game ilikua done.

Even the rest of the players knew their chances of survival were minimal, nilikua nawaambia hio pesa yao nabuy nayo slippers za bafu😂. So I bend over on the table and pot the first ball, the chalkman goes, "Tonnie, moneyball!". It was over for the cabrones, mwisho wa reli😂.

So I'm standing there, chalking my cue stick, nikiwaambia waombe kwa mara ya mwisho😂, Tonnie hajaiacha Moneyball juu ya table. If I'm to be honest, I took longer than expected to pot that ball, sijui ni kiburi? 😂. Nilikua nipewe 550, so nilikua napiga hesabu chini ya maji..

I have to treat my girl na pesa ya hawa mafala, so Nyama ya 200, fanta ya 100, chipo moja, na smokie mbili mbili, nyama tutapika baadae 😂. Mpango nilikua nayo matata, lakini kama vile Mungu hukuja dakika ya 90,shetani naye pia sio Kamau, saa ingine anakuja dakika ya 90+4😂.

Just when I was about to pot the Moneyball, nikaskia zile sauti funny za makabuti huko nje, tena zimefuatwa na mwangaza ingine noma kama headlights za V8. Kidogo nikaskia, "kila mutu geti chini", destination f!cked. They were there, and they didn't mean well, the damn cops😩.

"Nyinyi ndio mnaleta casino mashinani?, Afande hii watu yote tunaeka ndani, itisha gari". It was my first time being arrested and I didn't even know why I was being arrested, the place had a license, but jokes on you if you think the cops give a shit😂. About 12 cops came in..

We were about 25. "Shigana wawili wawili kama makasi haraka haraka" 😂. They handcuffed us in pairs, teketeke tukaingizwa kwa cruiser. Tulifit about watu 16, fala fulani akadai ati "afande tunafinyana" big mistake. "Gichana mnafinya gari, hii gari ni kubwa sana, acha niwasort" 😂

Huyo karao aligurumisha hio cruiser, then akaikanyaga at 80 over 50 meters alafu akapiga emergency, tukaingia hadi nusu😂. "Si unaona nafasi ni kubwa sana". So hio mbogi ingine ikaingia tukapelekwa station. I wasn't tensed yet, besides si eti nilikua nimefanya makosa mimi, alaa😂

They knew we were all students, so kufika ata hatukubookiwa. "Toa mshipi, simu, na kiatu moja". I didn't understand what the hell was going on 😂, kidogo naskia tunaambiwa "kwa sababu mmekataa kusoma, acha tupee nyinyi mahali ya kulala leo, ingia ndani haraka" followed by whips😂

"Hapa rent hulipi, chakula ni bure, mattress tu ndio hakuna" 😭. First time in a cell and I can tell you it's not funny. You go into a room full of all sorts of people and the worst thing is that you can't even see them. Now add that to the stories you hear about cells, horror 😭

Sijawahi tetemeka hivo, wueh! 😩. "Karibuni, usijaribu kunikanyaga!" It was the first time for most of us, ilibidi tumeshikana mikono tutiane moyo. I was praying hao magaidi tulipata ndani wasiamue vibaya, mnyambis yangu wasn't ready 😭. Luckily they didn't harm us at all..

The tension had diverted my attention from the stench in that place. Bear in mind there are in people in there who haven't showered in days, na kumejaa pomoni, joto, stench, na umesimama, khaiii😭. The cops only kept us in there for 30 minutes, lakini hio 30 ilikua kama 2 weeks😩

They knew we would do anything not to get back in there. Vile tulitoka wakasema yule ako na thao apeane, ile yangu ya savings nikatoa, ata wangetaka simu ningewapea😂. Wueh, that place is not human friendly, hapo unaeza kufa haraka sana😂.Finally, I was released😩

Nilikalia nduthi hadi kejani, kufika nilenda bafu straight. My girl thought nimetoka kupiga mechi, ati nimeingia bafu kusafisha dhambi😂. I told her I was going to explain later. She kept insisting, the only words I said were "HELL IN A CELL". I didn't wanna talk 😂.

Nilienda bed straight, nikikumbuka nilikua nilale kwa floor, najipendua ka fala😂. Baadae nikakumbuka wasee niliacha ndani nikaona niko na ufala, hao cabrones wako kwenye sakafu na mimi niko na dem na najifanya nalala, haigwesekani, nilipiga mechi moja balaa🍆💦😂😂.

If you haven't been in a cell I'll tell you this, 1 minute in a cell seems like 4 hours. Relativity.
Lakini kama ningepot moneyball teketeke ningetoka na pesa na singeshikwa, lakini kiburi😂.
Anyway leo nimeamua tupige story different, sekete si mmezoea sana😂. We're back.

So a different type of story today, but I felt the need to tell you about my first experience in a cell.
Anyway tunarudi kwa maeneo yetu ya anasa in the next story. Mpaka tumalize season 4.

Have you ever been in a cell? How was the experience? Tuchanue.