This chain of claims comes up a LOT in discussions like this and I've never seen it backed up by any actual data (and it's certainly not backed up by many people I know who are actually in happy, long-term relationships)

People happily make all kinds of compromises for love.
It's in line with how some people BELIEVE things should work but not at all in line with how things ACTUALLY shake out a lot of the time
This irritates me because whenever people tell someone they "can't" do something or something "won't" work out for them, it's almost always a limited perspective on what's possible

So much is possible if you want it and look for it
You never know what's possible for you until you try to go out and get it
Also if this were true unattractive people would never date people who are significantly hotter than them

And we all know that happens all the time

People value different characteristics differently

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More from @liminal_warmth

16 Oct
A list of “true” things about the world that people told me 100% believing in them and that turned out to be not at all true for me (in particular)

A primer on how just because things on average might seem like “common sense” in some contexts doesn’t mean they apply to you
1) “Women aren’t as interested in sex as men are and it’s normal to be sexually frustrated in your marriage”

You sweet summer children. This screws people over all the time. Libidos are personal and variable and you can 100% find people of either gender who want a lot of sex.
2) “If you undergo a gender transition, your life is going to be very hard and people won’t want to associate with you.”

Sooooo wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Even wrong 10 years ago before it was Okay to be Trans(tm). People are much cooler on average than you expect.
Read 18 tweets
30 Sep
Scenes from college with @eigenrobot:

"Eigen and I played World of Warcraft as much as we could reasonably get away with, and then played it some more, to the point that we would skip basic household chores like grocery shopping because it would require us to take a break."
"I remember one afternoon when I went into the kitchen, hungry, looking for a snack, and then came back to Eigen's room holding a half-full bag of egg noodles, and asking him, "Is this all the food we have?"
"Oh," I replied. "Well, should we go to the store?"

There was a brief pause as we both considered for a moment.

Then, Eigen: "Well, there's at least a day or two of food there."
Read 17 tweets
29 Sep
"Magic isn't real" is a motte and bailey category error because when you start there, anything you successfully label as "magic" becomes "not real" and you can laugh at it and call it dumb with social approval
But if you start picking at this (as I have) you quickly realize that this label is very fuzzy and everyone throws different things into the "magic isn't real" bucket but is unsure about tangentially related other stuff

Precision of words helps us figure out what's real
Unfortunately, we don't have a cultural shorthand for all the weird things that "could" be placed in the weird paranormal bucket but most people associate many of those things with magic even if they insist that they really mean "just casting spells"--and even that's hella loose!
Read 7 tweets
27 Sep
1/ Okay friends, I'm drowning in DMs so let's just do a thread.

Now Presenting: Liminal Warmth's guide to why you need less money than you think you do to launch your company/project/idea (and also probably why you're not ready for funding yet).
2/ I have seen a TON of variations on this pitch: "I have a killer idea, but I just need money to build it and market it."

This is usually for some kind of software product.
3/ The other variation I've seen a lot of is "I have a killer idea, but I need capital for the physical startup materials/tools/space."

Of these two pitches, the latter (the physical goods argument) is usually more persuasive to me.
Read 43 tweets
27 Sep
I think it’s interesting when people talk about access to capital as a barrier to doing something cool/useful/important

I spent about five months once working on a project to connect entrepreneurs with various funding sources and learned a bit about this
Capital is lying around EVERYWHERE if you have a good idea and drive to execute

That combo is surprisingly hard to find

Many ideas people have are poorly thought out or they don’t really want to execute on it badly enough for investment
But if you have an idea you’re really passionate about and can articulate how to bring it to market it’s really easy to get investment if you want it

The catch is that you probably don’t want it if you actually have this combo unless you NEED it due to competitive pressure
Read 8 tweets
26 Sep
You guys I have had such a weird day. Feeling moody and introspective. Business stuff in flux, it’s a little struggly.

Then I got drunk dialed by a former employee who told me he had a crush on me and I had to explain that while I thought he was really sweet I’m not into men.
Like... what even is my life right now. I’m sitting here in a desert trying to find myself and launch a company and make art and have no idea where I’m going.

I know the answers are only inside of me but I have no idea how to dig them out.
I don’t even know how to process all of this.

Sigh. 😑
Read 5 tweets

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