I still can't get over the story of how Chris Pratt got converted to Christianity by a *Jews for Jesus guy* and he's *not even Jewish*

He was just lonely and wanted to be part of something
He got taken in by the Jews for Jesus sales pitch, which sucks, but is also targeted narrowly at Jewish people and contains a bunch of crap that makes no sense to you if you're not Jewish

They baited this trap for unhappy vulnerable Jews and this stoned Gentile just wanders in
Like you're playing an FPS and you're trying to take down a helicopter with an anti-vehicle rocket and you somehow kill someone who's not in a vehicle

Like he just jumped up in front of you at the exact right time
The worst part is the guy gave him a job

He became a Jews for Jesus employee

I mean what's he gonna do, the whole point of their org is everyone in it is supposed to be a Jewish convert

What's he gonna say to the Jews they try to reel in
"Coming to Christ doesn't make you any less Jewish

I mean, I wouldn't know, but I assume it wouldn't

My buddy Dave seems just as Jewish to me as you guys, like I wouldn't treat you any less Jewish

Look could you just take the pamphlet"

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More from @arthur_affect

22 Oct
The theme of Au Revoir Les Enfants, a movie more people should see honestly

There are movies about committed Nazis, and movies about survivors and resisters, but not many movies about bystanders, which in reality the vast majority of people would be
People think a lot about Anne Frank's family in the attic, and they think about the Nazis who arrested them and the snooping snitch who called the Nazis on them

But not the many, many people who just went to work at that factory every day and just didn't care
What gets me about Au Revoir Les Enfants is that Père Jean isn't any kind of "movie hero"

He's a flawed person, he makes a really bad mistake and gets himself and his charges caught, he tried his best and his best was simply not good enough

BUT HE'S THE ONLY ONE TRYING
Read 10 tweets
21 Oct
To be fair, this is after he got fired by his publisher after repeatedly demanding they deliver a new set of pencils to his house, preferably sending an attractive young woman to do it, a demand he believed they only refused because the company was run by greedy Jewish misers
I don't wanna like downplay his bigotry or come off as excusing it

But he's not this image people have of a kindly fatherly children's book writer with a hidden dark side

He was like this colossal piece of shit asshole

Dr. House if House were British and wrote books
He was a bigot because he lowkey hated everyone and if he came to highkey hate you in particular he'd unhesitatingly reach for whatever weapons presented themselves to hate you with greater force and let his hate do more damage
Read 4 tweets
20 Oct
They're really radiating hard the same energy that the fundies had when Bush won in 2000 and *especially* when he won again in '04

That brittle, manic cruel joy, that pure schadenfreude, the bullied self-pitying outsider kid gets when things finally start coming up Milhouse
I mean everyone is like that sometimes, any faction that comes in from the "wilderness" gets like that

But the fundies especially, more than the MAGAs

Because they were just so fucking weird

Living in their own world, speaking their own language
And when the pundits started saying they were the unstoppable voting bloc they really let the freak flag fly

We don't have to hide anymore

We're not the weird ones anymore, we're the new normal, this country is ours
Read 7 tweets
1 Oct
I still love that Connie Willis passage where she talks about an engineer saying the obvious reason people hate smartphones is they *work too well* and he's going to make a fortune marketing a new smartphone whose selling point is that it *doesn't work*

The sarcasm is blistering and yet oddly compelling

The more you think about it the more it almost makes sense to buy a phone where, most of the time, when someone tries to call or text you it just doesn't go through, and you can honestly say "Yeah sorry my phone just does that"
When you try to load up Twitter it just doesn't do it

Your Twitter timeline is always several days behind so there's no point in commenting on or reacting to anything

Whenever you get mad at a video and try to reply to it, it times out
Read 6 tweets
1 Oct
You don't even have to get into the weeds analyzing the big stuff like plot and character and setting to criticize Harry Potter

Just in terms of writing technique, JKR is addicted to bad writing choices that are so commonly criticized they're cliches

The Harry Potter books are full of:

- Tom Swifties (so named because of people dunking on the cheesy old Tom Swift adventure stories), where every "he said/she said" line has a colorful verb + adverb

"I have PTSD and everyone treats it as a joke," Neville whined nebbishly
- "Eye-dialect", where you conve that someone speaks English in an accent different from your own by mangling the spelling of their words like an asshole

"Ach, jus' becau' a Scots dialec' is charact'riz'd bah glo'al stops don' mean yer hafta cover m'dialogue w'apostrophes"
Read 6 tweets
1 Oct
People keep saying that if you want to get reelected you should just put your personal brand on government services, remind everyone their benefits come from you personally

Like how we all got a tax rebate check in the mail signed by Donald Trump

politico.com/news/2020/10/0…
What's telling is how hard Obama resisted doing this, because he thought it was tacky, that it was misleading people about how the government actually works, and -- reasonably -- that there was a double standard where it'd be weaponized against him
But it was weaponized against him anyway

Like the Republicans turned "Obamaphones" into a goddamn meme that they wouldn't shut up about, they made the name "Obamacare" happen after months of relentless hammering
Read 4 tweets

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