Thread by @sy00b

𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 #yoonjin
// for @yoonjinbingo //

Yoongi fell in love with the music played on piano. Later then, he also fell in love with the man who plays the song and the piano.

🌌 this is mostly a self-indulgent fic
🌌 Seokjin and Yoongi have an age gap.
🌌 this is a story about a silly childhood crush
🌌 PG-13

When Yoongi was 9, he was told that he's a prodigy. He's a genius. He did his mathematics faster than any of his friends. He was appointed to do an elementary Olympic and won. Whatever he did, he always came on top. Yoongi is a genius and he knows it.

The teachers loves his diligence, his parents praise him for his assertiveness.

His peers, however….

They see Yoongi as an arrogant person and decided he wasn't worth their time. And so the genius prodigy Min Yoongi spent most of his elementary school alone.

🎶

Among many other skills Yoongi has, the boy loves music.

The streets of Seoul usually leave a piano or other musical instruments on the street. One day when Yoongi was 12, he walked home from his cram school and stopped when he saw someone playing the piano.

A crowd gathers as the person plays it back to back. Yoongi knows he needs to go home soon or his Mother would take all his cartoon VHS away from him. But he decided to stick around for a bit, staring intently at the person playing piano.

Fingers danced so delicately. Even amidst the noise of the city of Seoul, the only thing Yoongi heard was the tune of piano playing. As if it was playing directly for his little lonely heart, not for the crowds gathering.

🎶

It leaves Yoongi restless for the rest of the day. He tried to do all his homework. (Half of them done before he got distracted by the piano tune again). He tried to read his comic (Quarter pages in and he got distracted by the happiness seeing the pianist's fingers playing).

Lastly he tried to clean his bedroom. Yoongi's Mother peeked inside his bedroom and left with confusion.

At dinner, Yoongi barely ate his food before his Mother urged him to talk.

"I saw someone playing piano in the street, Ma," he said, poking the kimchi with his fork. "I don't know what to say but I like the way it sounds."

His Mother is silent, eyes never leaving him, waiting for him to continue.

"Do you think I could have a piano?"

There's no immediate answer but silence. Then his Mother told him to finish his dinner and do his night studies.

Yoongi didn't tell his Mother that his heart feels as if it sinks into his stomach.

🎶

The next day Yoongi finished his cram school and hurried to the same spot where the street performance occurred. The piano was still there but no one's playing it. Curious, Yoongi stepped closer to the piano.

He hasn't reached the piano before a man with a long brown coat sits on the piano. He put the fingers on tuts to test it before pressing a simple chord.

The man stopped before turning behind, looking directly at Yoongi.

The boy realized it was the same man playing the piano yesterday. Yoongi blinked, and bowed. The man also bowed and gave him a smile.

"Do you want me to play you a song?" The man asked.

Yoongi stiffen. He can feel his neck and cheeks set aflame. The man did not move and was still smiling at Yoongi. The boy fiddled with his fingers before opening his mouth.

"I saw you play yesterday," Yoongi started, eyes fixated on his feet.

"Can you play the same song as yesterday?"

The man smiles. "Of course."

Now that Yoongi sees him up close, he can see the man's fingers. They are crooked. But when the crooked fingers danced on the tuts of the piano, another story was born and Yoongi felt his heart full.

The crowds start to gather again between the man. Yet Yoongi knows the man only plays the piano for him.

When the music stopped, the crowds gave a round of applause and the man turned to Yoongi. He smiled with his full lips and full cheeks.

Yoongi vividly remembered an image of Hamtaro smiling.

And so Yoongi nicknamed the man that played piano Hamtaro.

🎶

Many months later, Yoongi finds himself a bit more settled. He concentrated more on his studies. He aced more subjects in his school. Every day after his cram lessons, he watched Hamtaro play the piano. Though not so much anymore since he got loads of stuff to do now.

He already chose a good middle school to continue. The last thing he needed to do was to graduate elementary. The final exam will be held in a week and Yoongi has prepared himself well enough before everyone else. He was fed twice in order to support his energy to study.

Yoongi read more books than he watched television. He even missed the airing of a new episode of Naruto. But the boy found it wasn’t a big deal.

Two days before final examination, Yoongi’s Mother stopped him from picking up his study books.

She picked up all Yoongi’s study books and neatly placed it on his shelf. The boy stayed seated on the table, blinking at his Mother.

“You won’t be studying for the next two days,” she stated. She opened his cupboard and pulled out his clothes.

“You’re going to go with me instead. Refresh your mind. I see how hard you’ve been studying. Now get up and dress up. We’re going to find you a piano.”

Yoongi sat there, frozen.

“Min Yoongi, you better hurry up before I change my mind!”

Though Yoongi knew his Mother won’t change her mind, Yoongi quickly dressed up with the clothes his Mother prepared with the biggest grin on his face. His Mother listened!

Mother took Yoongi to the street where he usually saw Hamtaro playing. The piano was no longer there. There’s something breaking in his chest but Yoongi wasn’t sure what. He hoped his heart did not break or else his Mother would get a lot of trouble in getting a new heart for him

And Yoongi wasn’t sure if there’s any sale to buy human hearts on the market.

“I realized there’s usually a performance here,” Mother said, holding Yoongi’s hand. “I saw someone left the piano here for people to play. Took me sometimes to find out where the piano was from.”

They walked over a bit further from the spot where the busking took place and stopped in front of a shop.

Rkive.

“It’s a music shop,” Yoongi said.
“It’s a musical instrument shop, Yoongi,” his Mother chuckled as she pushed on the door.

The bell dinged as the door swung open.

“Hello, welcome to RKive!” said a very enthusiastic person behind the counter. Yoongi peeked behind his Mother and saw a man with a heart-shaped smile greeting them. He noticed Yoongi and gave a little wave.

“Hoseok-ah, hello,” Mother said, greeting the man. The man lights up more and Yoongi feel his face contracts to form a smile. “We are looking for a piano for Yoongi here, hun.”

“Oh? Little musician is it? I guess this little man is Yoongi?” Hoseok said, smiling at the boy. “Well, take a look at our collection then! For piano we got Kim Seokjin over there to guide you around!”

Both Mother and Yoongi turned around to see a man with glasses standing.

Cheeks full, lips full.

“Hamtaro…” Yoongi finds himself talking.

The man darted his eyes to Yoongi and his face lit up. “Oh! You’re the kid who always watched my busking!”

“Oh, you know him, hyung?” asks Hoseok, stepping out from behind the counter.

“Yes, yes, I often see this guy whenever I decide to do my busking! Hey, what’s your name?” Seokjin asked.

“Uh… it’s Min Yoongi.”

“Well, Yoongi, thanks for always there whenever I held my performance. I really love to see a familiar face enjoying my small performance!”

Yoongi’s cheeks hurt and he realized he had been smiling the whole time.

“So you decided to play piano for yourself? Come, come! Let me guide you on choosing your musical instrument!” Seokjin said, ecstatically.

Seokjin then guided Yoongi over to some of the piano. There’s the smaller ones and there’s a bigger one. Some piano tuts feel way too heavy on his fingers while the others fit perfectly fine. There’s a brown piano right on the corner of the shop that caught his eyes.

He almost leaves poor Seokjin talking to himself when he lays his eyes on it.

“Hyung,” Yoongi hesitated. But Seokjin stopped and turned his full attention to the boy. The boy could feel his neck burning and heart hammered. “C-can I see the piano over there?”

Seokjin looked over to the corner and nodded with his full cheeks. Yoongi went over and pressed his fingers on the tuts. It fits him. That was his first thought.

“This piano suits me isn’t it, hyung?” he asked Seokjin.

“It is, Yoongi,” Seokjin replied, cheeks full of smiles and Yoongi knew his heart went tut-tut-tut. “This is the same piano which you always see me performing with. I’m not sure if we have the same model but a new one, though.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” came Mother’s voice behind them. She smiled to Seokjin. “We’re just seeing things around first. I haven’t decided to buy him one anyway.”

“Ah, that makes sense!” Seokjin exclaimed with laughter.

“No, it doesn’t,” says Yoongi.

“Now, now, don’t be like that, Yoongi-yah. How about you give a test on this piano?” Seokjin offered.

“But I can’t play,”

“I can show you how,”

Yoongi looked at Seokjin and nodded. He feels his lungs draw more air when the man touches his hand.

He showed Yoongi where to place his fingers and what note each tuts are. Then he showed how to move his fingers. After that he asked what song he would like to play.

“You remember that song which I asked you?” Yoongi asked, not really hoping the said man would remember.

To his surprise, Seokjin nodded. “I do. It’s my own song. Do you want to play it?”

“Hyung wrote the song!?”

Seokjin laughed. “Well, of course! I played, remember?”

“What’s the song called?”

“Moon.” Seokjin replied.

“Teach me how to play!” he said, hands ready with the position Seokjin taught him to.

Seokjin kindly told Yoongi where to place his fingers for the special song he wrote. It’s slightly higher than the starting point. At first they played slowly. Then they pick up the tempos.

Yoongi feels a bit small next to Seokjin because whereas the song sounds so beautiful when the older man plays, Yoongi’s version is so out of the place that it frustrated him. By the time the sun starts to set, Yoongi has sweat drips down his temple to play the correct notes.

When he did get the correct notes, Yoongi threw his hands in the air and shouted YEAAHHHHH.

Seokjin gives him a clap as well as Hoseok behind the counter. His Mother has a smirk on her face and that made Yoongi heart swoon in pride.

“Very good, Yoongi! You have accomplished the first 30 seconds of my song!” Seokjin cheered.

Somewhere, Yoongi heard a rewinding scratch tape. The time as if still for a second for them. “What?” Yoongi asks unemotionally.

Seokjin smiled. “Yes, Yoongi! That was the first 30 seconds of my song!”

If Yoongi’s life was a cartoon, surely the colour from this exact panel will be white.

🎶

Mother told Yoongi that it was time to go home. Both Seokjin and Hoseok waved the two goodbyes. Yoongi hasn’t stopped smiling after he bickers with Seokjin. He finds the older so much fun and comfortable to be around. He showed some more tips for Yoongi to play the piano.

He also shared how frustrated he got when he first got into piano. It lessens Yoongi’s guilt for not getting the first 30 seconds of Seokjin’s song right right away.

As they walk, Yoongi has no idea that Mother is looking at him the entire time. “So you like the piano.”

“Yes, Ma,” he said. “It was frustrating at first but I got the hang of it after a while. I hope I can play as good as Seokjin-hyung later!”

Mother humms. “How about I give you a deal?”

Here we go… Yoongi thought. The deals that make Yoongi who he is. The deals that make him such a prodigy at school. The deals that make him considered a genius in school. Mother’s Deals which make Yoongi such a diligent someone.

The sense of promises his Mother gave so he could do his hardest in school.

“What is it, Ma?” he asked.

“If you ranked first on the final elementary examination, I will buy you a piano plus afford you a piano lesson,” she said.

Yoongi feels fire burns in his stomach. “Okay.”

He's sure he’s getting that brown piano for him.

🎶

Min Yoongi studied hard the next day. When he did got unmotivated because study way too much, he told Mother that he’s going to Rkive.

He left just to get back not much longer and get back to studying.

What he did in Rkive is that he went in, saw Seokjin on the piano, and completely ignoring Hoseok’s greeting. He went over to him just to stare at the older down and told him, “I’m getting this piano model, hyung. Please prepare one for me.”

🎶

A week later, Yoongi showed up again to Rkive with bags under his eyes, completely surprising Hoseok and Seokjin.

“I’m the ACE!!!” the boy yelled before passing out on the entrance.

🎶

When Yoongi opened his eyes, he heard a soft song from the piano. He’s on the bed with blankets. The boy decided to get up. He came out from the room where he was sleeping, finding himself in Rkive.

Hoseok was still serving a customer; two boys around his age that are carrying guitars. There’s also another boy looking over on the violin section. The man didn’t seem to realize Yoongi had woken up. So Yoongi decided to search for the source of the piano tune.

He found Seokjin instead, pressing a soft tune on the piano. His eyes closed and face so peaceful. At the blooming age of 13, fuzzy with the sleep after passing out, Min Yoongi experienced his first-ever crush on someone.

🎶

The result came out nearly two months later. Even then, Min Yoongi decides he’ll visit Rkive every day because he has no friends. He grasps the concept of piano faster than Seokjin expected.

Though Seokjin advised him to play the basic level songs first, Yoongi decided he wasn’t interested and asked for an intermediate level instead. A bit taken aback but Seokjin did give him the intermediate level. It took a lot of time for Yoongi to even master the first pages.

Lots of questions for Seokjin and Hoseok that make them overwhelmed with the questions.

Mother took the last report from the school and the principal congratulated her.

“Mrs. Min, your son is a very diligent someone. Therefore, he has earned his place on the first place to graduate with the highest score out of the students.”

There’s a hint of smugness on Yoongi when he received the medal.

While walking back home, they went to Rkive and Yoongi decided to show off the medal he had to both Seokjin and Hoseok. “I got my piano now!!” he screeched.

🎶

Min Yoongi has a little journal. It started when he got too overwhelmed with his feelings. He can’t talk to someone because his peers think he’s weird. He got little to almost no friend at all. And so he made his own friends with the book he reads and the journal he makes.

Lately, his journal has been filled with the thought of the brown piano or just Seokjin.

‘My reason to skip the basic guide on piano is that I want to write a song. And I can not do that if I’m still at the beginning level of something. I want to give something meaningful to Kim Seokjin. Just because I really, really, really like him.’

🎶

And so Yoongi’s diligence once again proves itself when in just two months Yoongi has mastered the intermediate level. He doesn't even need a personal teacher.

Just an intermediate piano book, tips from both Seokjin and Hoseok, and the time he spent on the piano in the house. Sometimes Mother has the need to stop him from playing or else he will not stop.

When Seokjin asked what song he has taught himself, Yoongi decided to play him his favorite song Nocturne op. 9 no. 2. The simple version of course. Seokjin listened to it intently. Yoongi gives his all to playing it.

Yet it doesn't feel right yet. Yoongi doesn't know what but it clearly doesn't feel right yet. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead as he finished his song. He looked over the older and found the man nodding.

“You practiced well, Yoongi-yah,” he said, smiling at him.

Yoongi feels his neck and cheeks burn, like that first time Seokjin asked him what song he would like to play for him.

“Yet you still lack on the control of your fingertips. Remember, the soft and harshness of the song you played came not just from the heart! It also comes from how much power you give on your fingertips.” Seokjin said. The man grabbed the boy’s hand.

Yoongi was scared the older could feel his heart skipping a beat through his artery. “This is going to be a homework for you but I'm sure you’ll do fine. Practice to use the piano and forte to convey your feelings.”

Yoongi nodded. Seokjin then left to serve a new customer coming while his heart beats so fast and he can not hold a smile from appearing.

🎶

There’s still so much things for Yoongi to learn. He learned everything at the same time. It pounds his head. The junior highschool starts in just a few days but Yoongi still wants to play the piano in Rkive. He can’t split so much of his focus for the piano and his study.

Yet at 7 pm sharp, Mother always stops him from playing the piano and makes him read a few academic novels. At first it almost caused both of them to fight. But one glare given at the boy caused him to grumpily comply with his mother.

It was grounding at the very least. It eased up Yoongi’s messy head and heart.

The only problem was every now and then his mind can’t seem to stop getting distracted at the thought of Seokjin. The thought of his beautiful feature. The smile he has. The full cheeks he has whenever he was eating.

The rare delicacy whenever he’s playing the piano, thinking no one was watching.

Now the more he thinks of Seokjin, the more he did not read his academic novel. In the end he was just staring blankly at the paper with countless scenarios playing in his head.

🎶

Yoongi was 15 when he finally wrote the first song for a school project. By then he had already mastered the piano. Thanks for Seokjin. (And Hoseok but he forgot to write it down in his journal.) He wrote the rearrangement of For Elise for a school play.

He showed the first draft piece to Seokjin and the older thought it was good. He pointed out here and there what to improve and how to improve it.

Yoongi did what he told and modified it as much as he needs to.

🎶

“You have a crush on Seokjin-hyung.” Hoseok stated one day, when Yoongi was waiting for the older to show up.

Yoongi’s heart stopped for a second. Then he thought that there was no use to deny something like that. So he faced Hoseok who was eating the triangle gimbab. “I do.”

Hoseok hummed in understatement. “You’re not exactly subtle about it. And that’s okay. Even Seokjin knows that.”

His chest squeezed. “He did?”

Hoseok nodded. “He does.”

🎶

At 16, Yoongi finally wrote the first draft of his song. There’s notes here and there. He played the piano more now. A lot of people thought he was cool and asked him to play more in school. He was rather popular due to his skill on piano.

That was the drive for Yoongi to write the first draft song for him to get his feelings across to Seokjin. Though at 14 Hoseok made it clear that Seokjin knew he liked him.

It’s been long since the last time he went to Rkive. He doesn’t want to accidentally play the song he wrote for Seokjin there, so he had been holding himself back from going. After he was halfway done for the songs, he decided to visit Seokjin since he missed him.

When he arrived, Hoseok was behind the counter with a boy named Jungkook that asked to help him on violin. Hoseok flashes him a smile before returning back to Jungkook.

Yoongi decided to play the piece he made on the piano. Paying extra attention to the notes and feelings. The delicacy on pressing the tuts or to press it with much more force. The violin has stopped and Hoseok decided to teach Jungkook in the room behind the counter.

It leaves the shop for him alone. Yoongi got an inspiration to continue his song. Then there was a chime on the bell. Yoongi saw Seokjin walking inside the shop. He was about to call the older man when the man pulled another man inside. The man is tall.

Taller than Seokjin himself. With a dimpled smile and blue hair. Clearly dyed. Seokjin pulled the man in and kissed him. In the middle of the shop.

The pen slipped from Yoongi’s hand. It fell and rolled on the ground. He wished he could stop looking at the two men kissing. But there was so much love in Seokjin’s face. The taller man embrace the other so close.

There was something breaking in Yoongi.

And the boy understands that this is what heartbreak felt.

The time when Seokjin realized that Yoongi was there, he could see the older man went completely red with embarrassment. He cough once and awkwardly said hello. Yoongi forced a smile though his cheeks hurt. His whole face hurt. Faking a smile is hurt.

Faking feeling that you’re fine hurt. It hurts with every single muscle you own. It hurts your every heartstring. There are tears pooling in Yoongi's eyes and Seokjin asked if he’s alright.

Through the heartache Yoongi told him that he’s okay.

He then introduced the taller man to Yoongi.

“Yoongi-yah, this is Namjoon. My… boyfriend.” Seokjin said.

The tall, dimpled man offered his hand to Yoongi. Yoongi shook it. “Namjoon-ah, this is Yoongi. He’s a genius in music. Maybe you should consider teaching him instead of me.”

Yoongi wants to tell Seokjin that he is also a musical genius. Yet Namjoon was there to tell him that. Min Yoongi was vividly reminded that Seokjin got a person to tell him how amazing he is.

🎶

After that day the boy barely eats. He didn’t touch his piano. He barely does his homework.

🎶

“You still work on the song for Seokjin?” Hoseok asked, when Yoongi visited weeks after the incident . Seokjin was nowhere to be found.

“I’m still working on it, hyung.” Yoongi answered.

Hoseok nodded. He offered the ice-cream which he was eating. Yoongi gladly ate it with him. “Listen, “ Hoseok said. “I’m sorry I left you to deal with the truth alone. You shouldn’t have faced it alone. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be silly, hyung,” said Yoongi, scooping a spoonful of ice-cream. “There’s nothing you should apologize for. It wasn’t your fault anyway. Who knew Seokjin-hyung would come in with his boyfriend?”

There’s silence after that. After they emptied the tub of ice-cream together, Yoongi decided to go home.

🎶

Yoongi was 17 when he realized he’s in love with Seokjin. He was 17 when he understood that loving someone doesn’t necessarily end up with rainbows. He was 17 when he wrote the last notes for the song he would like to write for Seokjin.

He came to Rkive. Hoseok was there, as usual. Right now he’s playing the violin with Jungkook. The big eyes of Jungkook went twice as big when he saw Yoongi. Yoongi gives the boy a small smile before sitting beside him.

He simply listened to the two playing.

He sat without uttering one word. Completely silent.

Later then, the front bell dinged and Seokjin came into the shop. He was grinning. His eyes are teary. He couldn’t contain his smile. He spotted Yoongi and immediately walked over to the boy.

“Yoongi-yah,” he said. “I’m now a happy man.”

He pulled up his left hand and Yoongi understands. There’s a ring on his fourth finger. Yoongi feels himself smile despite the breaking of his heart. He knows he’s experiencing heartbreak.

But Yoongi understands that he couldn’t be with Seokjin. He could never. And he’s happy for Seokjin. He’s happy because the man is happy. And seeing the man he loves happy is the only thing mattered for him.

Hoseok still plays the violin. Perhaps trying to save Yoongi in his own way. He insisted Jungkook to keep playing though the boy is getting distracted. Jungkook does what he’s told, quickly immersing himself in the violin.

“Congratulations, Seokjin-hyung,” Yoongi said, laughing despite the flowing tears on his cheeks. He smiled over his tears and handed over the musical notes to the man. “I’m truly happy for you, hyung. I truly am.”

With that, Yoongi went out without another word.

Yoongi wrote a song for his first love. He finished the song at 17 and gave it to the man when he’s engaged. He called the first-ever song he wrote 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞.

[end.]