a thread on Bilingual puns

When I saw a snake for the first time,
I was सर्पrised.

My Urdu is Behtar than your English.

Who called it family planning, and not जनration

People with a paunch want to show that they have a well 'तोंड' body.
I wanted to marry a photojournalist, par 'paparazzi' nahi hue.

My boyfriend is a garment manufacturer; par woh aajkal, bahut hosiery dikha raha hai.

I had sore throat once. It took me few 'vicks' to recover!

Why is vegetarian food not very popular?
They don’t have मास appeal
If you drink turmeric milk regularly, it will make you हल्दी

I don't like slim people, Unko to tummies hi nahi hai.

People who drink alcohol to get rid of their problems are BOOZEdils
End of thread

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More from @pb3060

7 Nov
HIGHWAY HOTEL WITH HINDU NAMES AND CHELIA MUSLIM OWNER, NOT ALLOWING ANY HINDU HOTEL TO RUN IN COMPETITION ... एक खतरनाक बिजनेस मॉडल का पर्दाफाश ...
आपको राजस्थान, महाराष्ट्र, गुजरात के हाइवे पर तमाम ऐसे होटल्स मिलेंगे, जिनका नाम 'भाग्योदय','सर्वोदय', 'अलंकार', 'तुलसी', 'सर्वोत्तम' आदि हिन्दू नाम वाला होगा !! लेकिन, इन होटलोंं की चेन, जिसमे हजारो हॉटेल्स है, उन्हें गुजरात के बनासकांठा के रहने वाले 'चेलिया मुस्लिम' " चलाते है
इन होटलों में एक भी हिन्दू को नौकरी नही दी जाती .. चेलिया ग्रुप ऑफ़ हॉटेल्स का हेड ऑफिस अहमदाबाद में है । इनकी पूरी खरीद 'सेंट्रलाइज्ड' होती है । ये डायरेक्ट कोल्डड्रिंक, नमकीन आदि बनाने वाली कम्पनीज के साथ 'बल्क' में डील करते हैं .. फिर उसे हर एक होटल में सप्लाई करते है ।
Read 15 tweets
5 Nov
Why does Diwali come exactly 21 days after Dussehra every year? If you don't believe, check the calendar. Valmiki sage says that it took 21 days (504 hours) to reach Ayodhya on foot from Sri Lanka for Lord Ramachandra's army !!!!
So 504 hours divided by 24 hours, the answer will be 21.00 is 21 days.
I was surprised. To confirm, I searched on Google map out of curiosity. I was shocked to see the distance from Sri Lanka to Ayodhya on foot is 3145 km and time taken to walk is 504 hr !!!!
Google Map is completely reliable these days. We celebrate Dussehra and Diwali since Tretayug, according to the tradition.
If you don't believe me, do a Google search and share this information with others. Valmiki sage had written Ramayana with accuracy.
Read 5 tweets
31 Oct
A thread on Byjus

Many years ago there was a guy called Arindam Chaudhari. He wore a ponytail, ranted a lot of nonsense, valued his businesses at Rs 100 crore and mocked at India for being old fashioned.
He started an institute - promising the world. He charged exorbitant fees, and in return gave a laptop and some highly dubious course material. He promised his students will be in Wall Street in three years time.
Today, at least 22,000 students all over India have filed over 1700 petitions, complaints against him in fury. I am one of the 219 lawyers who filed petitions in both Karnataka (through associate counsel) and Madras High Courts.
Read 32 tweets
17 Sep
@janmajit007 @khanumarfa @RanaAyyub @_sabanaqvi @Tiara_tia25
@janmajit007 @khanumarfa @RanaAyyub @_sabanaqvi @Tiara_tia25 @RulesElsa
@janmajit007 @khanumarfa @RanaAyyub @_sabanaqvi @Tiara_tia25 @RulesElsa
Read 4 tweets

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