Government at the speed of business? Our #ableg "business" is facing a crisis, the information system designed to provide key information to decision-makers has been broken for weeks, a new product that was supposed to help our business weather the storm is fatally flawed. 1/
Our area production manager has picked an unrelated fight with key personnel undermining customer confidence and we're left relying on the goodwill of our employees to continue delivering for our clients despite threats of layoffs and pay cuts. 2/
Our facilities manager has determined that now is the optimal time to deliver the news that a gorgeous parcel of land adjacent to the childhood home of our largest client will be bulldozed to create a parking lot. 3/
And our manager of corporate strategy, who repeatedly assured investors that we were following a foolproof plan to profitability, has been quoted saying 7 contradictory things in 4 media outlets in the last 3 days. In response to questions, he threw a shoe at a reporter. 4/
Anyone have a sense of how a business might react to any of these problems, and how quickly? I can hardly speculate, as I'm just an ivory tower academic playing parlour games.
I'm told that, in a business, the latest benchmarking study results would be consulted, and quickly of course. Speed of business. Oh, sugar. They reveal some very serious issues with respect to our performance relative to our peers.
When asked about our financial outlook, the Chief Financial Officer relied on sales forecast which were more than a year out of date and which falsely conveyed an overly rosy picture as we descended into crisis.
Our key product manager deployed a new marketing team in hopes of reviving demand for our products. The initiative has been a failure. A planned strategic market assessment has been repurposed into an investigation of the color purple and is 3x over budget and months late.
In a recent call with investors, the Chief Operating Officer was asked to provide forward-looking estimates. She stated that, having been incorrect once before, the company has determined that there is no value in forecasting and would not be engaging in such mumbo jumbo.
A junior accounting manager has made repeated statements to the media regarding a radical shift in corporate strategy. Senior executives claim they do not support his vision but these same executives are hesitant to disagree publicly with their junior accounting manager.
In case you need some context, complete with Hot Wheels font because we're really serious about going fast. Vroom.

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