Wary, almost.
Then the guy's face melts into a slightly-manic grin as he bounces up on his toes, like an excited child. "Hi! I'm Nikolai Gogol!"
Chuuya lets out a breath, unaware that'd he'd been holding it. He moves further into the room, heading for the unoccupied bed. A few+
Then the guy's face melts into a slightly-manic grin as he bounces up on his toes, like an excited child. "Hi! I'm Nikolai Gogol!"
Chuuya lets out a breath, unaware that'd he'd been holding it. He moves further into the room, heading for the unoccupied bed. A few+
things have crossed the line into 'his' side of the room, but he's not that worried about it for now. He's left a lot of his stuff at home, anyways. "Hey, I'm Nakahara Chuuya. Just call me Chuuya."
"Okay! Did you need any help moving your stuff in? Do you have more boxes?" +
"Okay! Did you need any help moving your stuff in? Do you have more boxes?" +
/That/ makes Chuuya feel a bit insecure, like he's some /freak/ that doesn't own anything, but he manages to shrug it off. "Nope, this is it."
One medium sized box,and a big backpack stuffed with most of his clothes. That's all he brought with him, to live hours away from home.+
One medium sized box,and a big backpack stuffed with most of his clothes. That's all he brought with him, to live hours away from home.+
Chuuya has never been /quiet/, but Nikolai seems to take on most of the conversation by himself anyways, chattering loudly as Chuuya unpacks most of his stuff.
He plugs in his laptop, letting it charge so he can finish registering for his classes later this afternoon.
"So, are+
He plugs in his laptop, letting it charge so he can finish registering for his classes later this afternoon.
"So, are+
you from here, or are you new to Yokohama?"
Chuuya shoves his clothes into the dresser on his side of the dorm, promising himself to hang them up in the tiny closet later. "My parents live in Tsubaka. It's my first time in Yokohama."
Well, that's not specifically true, but+
Chuuya shoves his clothes into the dresser on his side of the dorm, promising himself to hang them up in the tiny closet later. "My parents live in Tsubaka. It's my first time in Yokohama."
Well, that's not specifically true, but+
he's only been here before with his father on business trips or sightseeing,which doesn't come with knowledge that living here would bring. In a very real sense, he knows almost nothing about Yokohama, besides the stories he's been told.
"Oh! I've been here for a few weeks now.+
"Oh! I've been here for a few weeks now.+
I got to move in early, since I came from Russia. I could show you around, if you'd like!"
A foreign international student offering to show /him/ around the city. It feels a /little/ demeaning, and part of Chuuya's pride wants to say /no/, he'll figure it out--
But then he +
A foreign international student offering to show /him/ around the city. It feels a /little/ demeaning, and part of Chuuya's pride wants to say /no/, he'll figure it out--
But then he +
remembers that he's almost a foreign student himself, right now, and while his eccentric roommate probably wouldn't have been his /first/ choice in friends--
It probably wouldn't be a good idea to alienate him either and well--
Chuuya /does/ need friends, because he doesn't+
It probably wouldn't be a good idea to alienate him either and well--
Chuuya /does/ need friends, because he doesn't+
have any here in Yokohoma. All his friends from high school either went to Tsubaka University, because it was closer, or they went to Tokyo. Some went to international colleges.
He was the only one to choose Keio, and since his dad is so /overprotective/--
He doesn't /know/ +
He was the only one to choose Keio, and since his dad is so /overprotective/--
He doesn't /know/ +
anyone in Yokohama. He's starting off a /big/ piece of his life, something his future will build off of and that he's been looking forward to for /years/, and he's all alone.
It's exciting... and scary. Even Chuuya, who prides himself on being brave to the point of +
It's exciting... and scary. Even Chuuya, who prides himself on being brave to the point of +
recklessness, is having a /bit/ of anxiety.
Only a little bit though.
He nods, taking out a picture frame and placing it on his new dresser. He doesn't look at it for too long, because it makes him /depressed/ but...
He likes seeing his mother, sometimes, as a reminder. +
Only a little bit though.
He nods, taking out a picture frame and placing it on his new dresser. He doesn't look at it for too long, because it makes him /depressed/ but...
He likes seeing his mother, sometimes, as a reminder. +
"Yeah, that would be cool, actually. I can read train maps, but it'd be easier if i knew where I was going." Not that Chuuya really /needs/ to go many places other than campus, but it'd be nice.
Nikolai finally gets his poster tacked up with a triumphant noise. "Yeah! I'm +
Nikolai finally gets his poster tacked up with a triumphant noise. "Yeah! I'm +
actually going to meet up with some friends for dinner. You can come with."
What, now? After a long day of saying goodbye to his father, being on a cramped train and lugging his bags all the way to campus? He's tired, /dirty/--
His stomach growls loudly at that exact moment, +
What, now? After a long day of saying goodbye to his father, being on a cramped train and lugging his bags all the way to campus? He's tired, /dirty/--
His stomach growls loudly at that exact moment, +
making Nikolai's lips twitch.
-- and /hungry/. He hasn't eaten since breakfast this morning, and even that was a rushed affair.
Registration for classes can wait. He'll just finish that up once he gets back, and maybe get a headstart on his reading for class. For now, dinner +
-- and /hungry/. He hasn't eaten since breakfast this morning, and even that was a rushed affair.
Registration for classes can wait. He'll just finish that up once he gets back, and maybe get a headstart on his reading for class. For now, dinner +
sounds perfect. "Great. Do I have time to wash up first?"
Because he does feel dirty from the train, and if he's going to meet new people, he wants to change into something better than a loose pair of jeans and his rattiest sneakers. First impressions /matter/.
Nikolai nods.+
Because he does feel dirty from the train, and if he's going to meet new people, he wants to change into something better than a loose pair of jeans and his rattiest sneakers. First impressions /matter/.
Nikolai nods.+
He doesn't even look at his watch or phone though, so either he's /really/ confident or he's not worried about showing up late.
Either way, Chuuya cleans up as quickly as he can. Luckily, there's signs which lead to the showers shared by the entire floor. Gross, and he already+
Either way, Chuuya cleans up as quickly as he can. Luckily, there's signs which lead to the showers shared by the entire floor. Gross, and he already+
misses the shower at home, but it's better than some of the /other/ dorms, which apparently share a shower among the /whole/ building.
He does make a note to purchase some shower shoes, though. You never know what kind of nasty people he'll be sharing a shower with. +
He does make a note to purchase some shower shoes, though. You never know what kind of nasty people he'll be sharing a shower with. +
Leaving his hair to dry wild and curly, he pulls on dark jeans and a grey t-shirt. It's a little plainer than he'd normally choose, but his father convinced him to leave most of his "eccentric" clothes at home, because 'he wants to make a good impression, right?'.
The red +
The red +
jacket, though, is /exactly/ on brand for him, bomber style with more than a few unnecessary zippers and dangling chains. Subtle enough to look over, if you weren't looking closely.
By the time he arrives back at his room, Nikolai has changed into something /brighter/, his +
By the time he arrives back at his room, Nikolai has changed into something /brighter/, his +
shirt a rainbow splash of colors. Now, Chuuya might otherwise take this as a /hint/ or some other form of gay-communication, but combined with the /balloon/ pants, one side striped and the other side a blank white--
He's pretty sure Nikolai is just channeling "russian clown" +
He's pretty sure Nikolai is just channeling "russian clown" +
energy.
"Ready?" Nikolai bounces up when he sees him, an excited grin on his face.
Chuuya blinks in surprise, because he honestly wasn't expecting such enthusiasm, especially from someone he /just/ met. Usually /he's/ the one with 'too much energy', so it's strange to be +
"Ready?" Nikolai bounces up when he sees him, an excited grin on his face.
Chuuya blinks in surprise, because he honestly wasn't expecting such enthusiasm, especially from someone he /just/ met. Usually /he's/ the one with 'too much energy', so it's strange to be +
on the receiving end of that, for once.
It’s nice, though, to be so immediately welcomed. It soothes some part of him that he didn’t even realize was worried. “Yeah, I’m ready. Where are we going?”
Nikolai leads the way out of the door, barely giving Chuuya enough time to +
It’s nice, though, to be so immediately welcomed. It soothes some part of him that he didn’t even realize was worried. “Yeah, I’m ready. Where are we going?”
Nikolai leads the way out of the door, barely giving Chuuya enough time to +
shove his wallet into his pockets.
Nikolai locks the door behind them, making a noise as he does. “Oh, here’s your key.”
Chuuya takes the offered key from his fingertips, frowning. “I thought I had to see the office to get my copy?”
Nikolai grins at him, proud. “Usually, +
Nikolai locks the door behind them, making a noise as he does. “Oh, here’s your key.”
Chuuya takes the offered key from his fingertips, frowning. “I thought I had to see the office to get my copy?”
Nikolai grins at him, proud. “Usually, +
yes, but I knew him so he let me take the extra, as long as I promised to give it to you later.”
Chuuya has /no/ idea why he’d do that, but sure. At least he doesn’t have to make another trip to the office, then.
He pockets the key, following a step behind Nikolai as he +
Chuuya has /no/ idea why he’d do that, but sure. At least he doesn’t have to make another trip to the office, then.
He pockets the key, following a step behind Nikolai as he +
charges down the stairwell, completely skipping over the elevator.
They pass a pair of students on their way up, who Nikolai waves to enthusiastically, calling out a greeting.
Chuuya isn't shy or easily intimidated by any means, but he's starting to think his dorm mate knows+
They pass a pair of students on their way up, who Nikolai waves to enthusiastically, calling out a greeting.
Chuuya isn't shy or easily intimidated by any means, but he's starting to think his dorm mate knows+
/everyone/. He was semi-popular in high school himself, but not on /this/ level.
Outside, the campus is rather empty, with only a handful of students making their way around the grounds. Most of them are carrying books or heavy-looking backpacks, clearly ready for classes to +
Outside, the campus is rather empty, with only a handful of students making their way around the grounds. Most of them are carrying books or heavy-looking backpacks, clearly ready for classes to +
start.
He makes a mental note purchase his books later.
Nikolai leads him to Tamachi station, chattering the whole time. He barely lets Chuuya get a word in, which is fine because he's a bit busy memorizing the path to the train station.
"I hope you like seafood, because +
He makes a mental note purchase his books later.
Nikolai leads him to Tamachi station, chattering the whole time. He barely lets Chuuya get a word in, which is fine because he's a bit busy memorizing the path to the train station.
"I hope you like seafood, because +
that's what we'll be eating. I'd say we could change if you didn't like it, but Shuuji and Yuan have wanted seafood for /ages/ and if they don't get it today, they'll be grumpy."
"No worries, I love seafood."
Nikolai beams, swiping his train card in the terminal. "Great! I +
"No worries, I love seafood."
Nikolai beams, swiping his train card in the terminal. "Great! I +
already told them you were coming, so they'll be expecting us. They said they'll get us a table."
Just how many people will he be meeting today?
The train is surprisingly crowded for this time of day, squishing them together near one of the days. Chuuya wedges himself near +
Just how many people will he be meeting today?
The train is surprisingly crowded for this time of day, squishing them together near one of the days. Chuuya wedges himself near +
the wall, finding himself a space away from the crowd. Nikolai, sticking out like a sore thumb at over 180cm, looks mildly uncomfortable from his spot in the crowd. There's a much shorter girl hanging onto his elbow instead of the too-tall handles above.
Chuuya gives a huffed +
Chuuya gives a huffed +
breath, trying not to snicker. The benefits of being small were not many, but /sometimes/, not that Chuuya would ever admit it out loud, it worked out in his favor.
Nikolai motions for him to get off at the second stop, mouthing something that is too low for Chuuya to hear past+
Nikolai motions for him to get off at the second stop, mouthing something that is too low for Chuuya to hear past+
the bustle and roar of the train station.
The restaurant they're going to is only a few blocks away, and Chuuya spends that time growing increasingly nervous.
Most of the people he's met so far in life have had /something/ in common with him. Schooling, through his Dad's
The restaurant they're going to is only a few blocks away, and Chuuya spends that time growing increasingly nervous.
Most of the people he's met so far in life have had /something/ in common with him. Schooling, through his Dad's
friends, neighbors. There was always a common thread, something to relate to.
But the only thing he has in common with the people he’s about to meet, is /Nikolai/, who he met a grand total of an hour ago. That he knows of, at least.
What if they /don’t/ have anything in +
But the only thing he has in common with the people he’s about to meet, is /Nikolai/, who he met a grand total of an hour ago. That he knows of, at least.
What if they /don’t/ have anything in +
common? What if it’s /awkward/ and he’s just the weird third-wheel that Nikolai dragged along with him?
What if it’s /weird/?
“There it is!” Nikolai says excitedly, pointing to a medium-sized building with a neon sign handing over declaring it as ‘HARU’s SEAFOOD AND SUSHI’. +
What if it’s /weird/?
“There it is!” Nikolai says excitedly, pointing to a medium-sized building with a neon sign handing over declaring it as ‘HARU’s SEAFOOD AND SUSHI’. +
Simple, straight to the point.
There’s only a few people waiting outside, so thankfully they don’t get /too/ many glares as Nikolai marches into the restaurant with Chuuya on his heels.
Inside, it’s warm and smells delicious. It’s packed enough that some people have been left+
There’s only a few people waiting outside, so thankfully they don’t get /too/ many glares as Nikolai marches into the restaurant with Chuuya on his heels.
Inside, it’s warm and smells delicious. It’s packed enough that some people have been left+
standing as they wait for their orders. The noise of a bustling restaurant fills the space entirely.
Chuuya stumbles when Nikolai grabs him by the arm, dragging him to the far side of the restaurant, to one of the tables near the back.
Three people are already seated: two+
Chuuya stumbles when Nikolai grabs him by the arm, dragging him to the far side of the restaurant, to one of the tables near the back.
Three people are already seated: two+
boys and a girl.
The girl is facing away from them, pink hair bobbing as she talks animatedly to the boy in front of her, who looks like he’s about to start arguing.
The other boy though...
He looks up as they approach, and Chuuya feels his brown-eyed gaze like a /punch/.+
The girl is facing away from them, pink hair bobbing as she talks animatedly to the boy in front of her, who looks like he’s about to start arguing.
The other boy though...
He looks up as they approach, and Chuuya feels his brown-eyed gaze like a /punch/.+
Chuuya has seen attractive people before, on TV and on social media. He’s known people that he would objectively label as /attractive/—
But none of them had golden-brown eyes and a small, crooked smile, watching him with interest as he comes closer.
Chuuya feels /pinned/, +
But none of them had golden-brown eyes and a small, crooked smile, watching him with interest as he comes closer.
Chuuya feels /pinned/, +
struggling to bring in breath under the weight of that gaze, stumbling over his own feet.
God, he can even feel his cheeks starting to heat up, and he’s making a fool of himself /already/.
Luckily, Nikolai saves the day—again— by waving and calling out, “hey guys!”
The girl+
God, he can even feel his cheeks starting to heat up, and he’s making a fool of himself /already/.
Luckily, Nikolai saves the day—again— by waving and calling out, “hey guys!”
The girl+
finally turns around, a welcoming smile on her face. She has to blow her bangs out of her eyes, revealing eyes that look more purple than blue. “If it isn’t our favorite clown.”
Nikolai beams, so clearly he doesn’t take /that/ as an insult, ushering Chuuya forward.
He slides+
Nikolai beams, so clearly he doesn’t take /that/ as an insult, ushering Chuuya forward.
He slides+
into the booth in the middle, and yeah, he’d probably prefer being on the end, but he feels too flustered to refuse and Nikolai squishes in after him before he can change his mind.
“You must be Chuuya, right?” The girl says, dipping her head. “I’m Yuan.”
Chuuya tips his +
“You must be Chuuya, right?” The girl says, dipping her head. “I’m Yuan.”
Chuuya tips his +
head with a small smile. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”
“That’s Shirase,” Yuan says, pointing across the table at the silver-haired boy she’d been speaking with earlier. He’s taken his phone out, and vaguely waves an acknowledgment at Chuuya between typing frantically.
“And /that/—“+
“That’s Shirase,” Yuan says, pointing across the table at the silver-haired boy she’d been speaking with earlier. He’s taken his phone out, and vaguely waves an acknowledgment at Chuuya between typing frantically.
“And /that/—“+
The other boy, the brown-eyed one Chuuya can practically sense breathing, interrupts her with a good-natured glare. “I’m Shuuji.”
/Shuuji/. Even his name is cute.
/Shuuji/ shakes his dark hair out of his face, offering Chuuya a blinding grin, all white teeth, that knocks +
/Shuuji/. Even his name is cute.
/Shuuji/ shakes his dark hair out of his face, offering Chuuya a blinding grin, all white teeth, that knocks +
him off-kilter again, scrambling to pick up his self-control before he mutters something stupid like ‘oh my god, you’re /hot/—‘.
“Hey,” he says, trying to play it cool, even though he’s half-convinced the entire table can hear his heart pounding, “I’m Chuuya.”
“Chuuya,” +
“Hey,” he says, trying to play it cool, even though he’s half-convinced the entire table can hear his heart pounding, “I’m Chuuya.”
“Chuuya,” +
Shuuji repeats, slowly, like he’s tasting his name on his tongue, and Chuuya’s face is on /fire/. “That’s a nice name. I like it.”
Chuuya has to forcibly look away from his lips. “Oh. Thanks. I— I like yours too.”
/Stupid/. Why is he turning into a stuttering, awkward mess+
Chuuya has to forcibly look away from his lips. “Oh. Thanks. I— I like yours too.”
/Stupid/. Why is he turning into a stuttering, awkward mess+
/now/, when he needs to be smooth and suave? Why is he so tongue-tied when Shuuji hasn’t done anything more than introduce himself?
(Though he /is/ still staring at Chuuya, gaze slowly sliding over his features and then further down, over his shoulders. His gaze feels like a +
(Though he /is/ still staring at Chuuya, gaze slowly sliding over his features and then further down, over his shoulders. His gaze feels like a +
brand, heavy and burning.
He’s got a small smirk on his face.)
“We ordered for you guys, hope that’s okay,” Yuan says suddenly, nearly startling Chuuya out of his seat.
Nikolai bobs his head, and Chuuya is starting to see /why/ he chose the end seat, because he’s +
He’s got a small smirk on his face.)
“We ordered for you guys, hope that’s okay,” Yuan says suddenly, nearly startling Chuuya out of his seat.
Nikolai bobs his head, and Chuuya is starting to see /why/ he chose the end seat, because he’s +
constantly fidgeting. Leg bouncing, fingers tapping at his knee, shifting in his seat. The man looks like sitting still is torture for him.
“We got a bit of everything, so you can just pick out whatever you want, Chuuya.”
Oh, sure, that sounds fine. He opens his mouth to +
“We got a bit of everything, so you can just pick out whatever you want, Chuuya.”
Oh, sure, that sounds fine. He opens his mouth to +
respond, but Shuuji cuts him off.
“You guys are going to have to eat the crab though. Dad eats it /all/ the time, it’s actually kind of gross. I’m getting sick of it.”
Shirase snorts, putting away his phone finally. He nudges Shuuji with his shoulder, teasing. “Don’t start+
“You guys are going to have to eat the crab though. Dad eats it /all/ the time, it’s actually kind of gross. I’m getting sick of it.”
Shirase snorts, putting away his phone finally. He nudges Shuuji with his shoulder, teasing. “Don’t start+
/another/ complaining session about your Dad.”
Shuuji flushes, clearly embarrassed, and his responding nudge is a little rougher than it needs to be. He does drop the subject though, turning back to Chuuya. “So— how did you meet Nikolai?”
Chuuya pulls his hands under the +
Shuuji flushes, clearly embarrassed, and his responding nudge is a little rougher than it needs to be. He does drop the subject though, turning back to Chuuya. “So— how did you meet Nikolai?”
Chuuya pulls his hands under the +
table, fiddling with the edge of his jacket to dispel some nervous energy. “We’re roommates, actually.”
Shuuji’s eyes light up. “Oh really? Guess I’ll be seeing a lot more of you then, huh?” He says, leering at him with a suggestive smirk.
Chuuya doesn’t notice, too busy +
Shuuji’s eyes light up. “Oh really? Guess I’ll be seeing a lot more of you then, huh?” He says, leering at him with a suggestive smirk.
Chuuya doesn’t notice, too busy +
beating himself up mentally, because he’s not usually like /this/. He’s not usually this shy, or anxious, or nervous.Yeah, it could be because he just moved on his own for the first time ever, or the fact that a cute boy is staring him down—
But he doesn’t /like/ it. He doesn’t+
But he doesn’t /like/ it. He doesn’t+
/want/ to be some shy, nervous boy, acting like the timid main character of a romance manga.
He’s always been headstrong and stubborn—Dad says it runs in the family, he got it from his mother— so why does he suddenly feel like all his bravery has deserted him?
Fake it ‘til +
He’s always been headstrong and stubborn—Dad says it runs in the family, he got it from his mother— so why does he suddenly feel like all his bravery has deserted him?
Fake it ‘til +
you make it, Chuuya reminds himself.
Shoving the nerves away so he can deal with them later, he straightens in his seat, trying to replicate the feeling he gets when he’s so hyped up on adrenaline that it feels like /nothing/ can touch him.
It works only a little bit, but +
Shoving the nerves away so he can deal with them later, he straightens in his seat, trying to replicate the feeling he gets when he’s so hyped up on adrenaline that it feels like /nothing/ can touch him.
It works only a little bit, but +
it’s enough for him to look Shuuji in his eyes and say “maybe if you’re lucky.”
Golden-brown eyes flash, like Chuuya has become a lot more /interesting/ than he was a moment ago, sending another thrill of excitement into Chuuya’s stomach.
Beside him, Yuan makes a soft noise+
Golden-brown eyes flash, like Chuuya has become a lot more /interesting/ than he was a moment ago, sending another thrill of excitement into Chuuya’s stomach.
Beside him, Yuan makes a soft noise+
of disgust. "Not in front of my food, boys."
Shirase opens his mouth to tell her that she doesn't /have/ her food yet--
Just as that moment, the server, a harried looking brunet, sets down a few plates of food in front of them, as well as some extra plates. He lingers just +
Shirase opens his mouth to tell her that she doesn't /have/ her food yet--
Just as that moment, the server, a harried looking brunet, sets down a few plates of food in front of them, as well as some extra plates. He lingers just +
long enough to pour water for the new arrivals, and hurries off when they say they don't want anything else to drink.
Yuan stares at Shirase with a raised brow, daring him to say something, and looks incredibly smug when he shuts his mouth.
Nikolai digs right in, piling his+
Yuan stares at Shirase with a raised brow, daring him to say something, and looks incredibly smug when he shuts his mouth.
Nikolai digs right in, piling his+
plate with food and devouring it with a gusto that speaks of days of hunger.
Chuuya waits for the others to pick their favorites before selecting a few of his own pieces. He /does/ take a few pieces of crab. It's not his favorite--and he probably doesn't like it as much as +
Chuuya waits for the others to pick their favorites before selecting a few of his own pieces. He /does/ take a few pieces of crab. It's not his favorite--and he probably doesn't like it as much as +
Shuuji's father apparently does-- but he's not going to complain about food, not when he's /this/ hungry.
Yuan pops some rice into her mouth. "So-- you go to Keio too?"
Chuuya nods, swallowing his mouthful. "Yep. Studying engineering, though Dad wants me to be a doctor." +
Yuan pops some rice into her mouth. "So-- you go to Keio too?"
Chuuya nods, swallowing his mouthful. "Yep. Studying engineering, though Dad wants me to be a doctor." +
Raising a piece of shrimp in a makeshift toast, Yuan says, "Yeah, me too. Here's to disappointing our parents once again."
Shirase raises his bowl in quick salute, though he doesn't stop devouring his food. Not to be judgemental, but with the dyed-silver hair, and the multiple +
Shirase raises his bowl in quick salute, though he doesn't stop devouring his food. Not to be judgemental, but with the dyed-silver hair, and the multiple +
piercings in his ears, he would probably be firmly placed in the "disappointment" category, at least at far as Chuuya's father is concerned.
Chuuya tried to pierce his own ears, once, with a safety pin and a chunk of ice. Luckily, his father walked in on him before he could +
Chuuya tried to pierce his own ears, once, with a safety pin and a chunk of ice. Luckily, his father walked in on him before he could +
actually /do/ it-- a blessing, because piercings like that tend to reject harshly-- and proceeded to have an entire hour-long breakdown about how Chuuya was headed down the wrong path and one day he was gonna wake up to find his son's face plastered over the morning news for +
robbing the local convenience store.
(For the record, Chuuya has never stolen anything and has never felt the desire to do so, not that Rimbaud listened to /that/ reasoning.)
Shuuji leans back in his seat, smug. He picks up a piece of fried mackerel, examining it closely as +
(For the record, Chuuya has never stolen anything and has never felt the desire to do so, not that Rimbaud listened to /that/ reasoning.)
Shuuji leans back in his seat, smug. He picks up a piece of fried mackerel, examining it closely as +
he gloats, "/I'm/ studying business. I'll be taking over my dad's business, one day. Much better than being a doctor."
Then he takes a bite out of the fish, chewing with a self-satisfied air.
Beside him, Nikolai sits back, rubbing his stomach absentmindedly. He's already +
Then he takes a bite out of the fish, chewing with a self-satisfied air.
Beside him, Nikolai sits back, rubbing his stomach absentmindedly. He's already +
polished off one plate, and judging by the way he's eyeing the plates spread over the table, he's about to make himself another one. "My parents are very proud of me, no matter what I study."
Well, ain't that peachy for him, Chuuya silently grumbles, stabbing his rice. He tries+
Well, ain't that peachy for him, Chuuya silently grumbles, stabbing his rice. He tries+
not to be bitter about it, but sometimes it feels like /all/ of his fathers hopes and dreams rest on his shoulders.
As the youngest, he's supposed to somehow be /better/ than his siblings-- both of whom are decently successful, with Kouyou running her own company and Kyouka +
As the youngest, he's supposed to somehow be /better/ than his siblings-- both of whom are decently successful, with Kouyou running her own company and Kyouka +
well on her way to a fashion degree with a foot in the door at a fast-growing clothing company.
But neither of those are what Rimbaud wanted for them, and while he's /happy/ that they have found a career that makes them happy--
He has...expectations.
Expectations that are +
But neither of those are what Rimbaud wanted for them, and while he's /happy/ that they have found a career that makes them happy--
He has...expectations.
Expectations that are +
now piled on Chuuya's shoulders, because he's the youngest, he's the /last/ chance Rimbaud has to have a doctor or a lawyer in the family.
Don't get him wrong, his dad loves him and wants him to be happy--
But sometimes the shoes Chuuya is supposed to fill feel like they were+
Don't get him wrong, his dad loves him and wants him to be happy--
But sometimes the shoes Chuuya is supposed to fill feel like they were+
made for giants.
He enrolled at Keio because of those expectations -- because as the third child of a single father that was /barely/ middle class means he /cannot/ afford this university outright-- and while he /does/ have ambition--
Sometimes, it makes him feel directionless+
He enrolled at Keio because of those expectations -- because as the third child of a single father that was /barely/ middle class means he /cannot/ afford this university outright-- and while he /does/ have ambition--
Sometimes, it makes him feel directionless+
and lost that he doesn’t really know where he’s going in life, especially when compared to someone who /apparently/ already has a company ready to fall into their hands.
The next bite of rice tastes almost sour.
Yuan rolls her eyes, pointing her chopsticks at Shuuji almost +
The next bite of rice tastes almost sour.
Yuan rolls her eyes, pointing her chopsticks at Shuuji almost +
threateningly. “Don’t rub it in. Not all of us are lucky enough to be next in line for the throne or whatever.”
Shuuji, who has been taking small, delicate bites, puts his nose in the air. “It’s not luck, sweetheart, it’s pure hard work. I’m not top of my class for /nothing/.”+
Shuuji, who has been taking small, delicate bites, puts his nose in the air. “It’s not luck, sweetheart, it’s pure hard work. I’m not top of my class for /nothing/.”+
Shirase snorts. “Yeah, at your prep school in Yokohama. Keio is competitive; how long can you keep that up?”
Shuuji sets his chopsticks down with a little more force than necessary, turning a fierce glare on Shirase. The silver-haired teen doesn’t seem bothered in the least. +
Shuuji sets his chopsticks down with a little more force than necessary, turning a fierce glare on Shirase. The silver-haired teen doesn’t seem bothered in the least. +
“I don’t want to hear that from someone who didn’t rank at all, /and/ doesn’t go to Keio.”
Shirase shrugs again, and although his expression doesn’t change, his eyes seem very far away. “Like Yuan said: not all of us are lucky.”
...there’s definitely a story behind /that/ +
Shirase shrugs again, and although his expression doesn’t change, his eyes seem very far away. “Like Yuan said: not all of us are lucky.”
...there’s definitely a story behind /that/ +
that Chuuya is interested in hearing about.
He tries to dispel the weird tension building in the group by asking a question of his own. “So...did you all meet at Keio or?”
It’s Yuan who answers, after taking a long sip of her drink. “Oh no. I’ve been friends with Shirase +
He tries to dispel the weird tension building in the group by asking a question of his own. “So...did you all meet at Keio or?”
It’s Yuan who answers, after taking a long sip of her drink. “Oh no. I’ve been friends with Shirase +
since.... well, since forever. They,” she gestures to Shirase and Shuuji, “went to the same prep school, and have been friendly rivals ever since. And Nikolai met Shuuji—“
“At work! A few weeks ago, when I first moved here.” The white-haired boy says, cheerfully interrupting.+
“At work! A few weeks ago, when I first moved here.” The white-haired boy says, cheerfully interrupting.+
Chuuya blinks. Nikolai having a job makes some sense, because he’s a foreign student, which is never cheap, even if the exchange rate is good.
Plus, Nikolai’s japanese is /very/ good and conversational, so obviously he had to pick that up in a non-schooling situation...
But +
Plus, Nikolai’s japanese is /very/ good and conversational, so obviously he had to pick that up in a non-schooling situation...
But +
Shuuji? Even Chuuya, who can be considered ‘uneducated’ on these things, can tell his leather jacket and golden watch /ooze/ money.
“It’s my favorite café. They have the most exquisite coffee. I would spend my entire fortune there,” Shuuji sighs, sounding blissful.
Well. That+
“It’s my favorite café. They have the most exquisite coffee. I would spend my entire fortune there,” Shuuji sighs, sounding blissful.
Well. That+
explains /that/.
Still, though, it’s a little awkward to be the new friend in a group that obviously already has a decent amount of history together. Especially when his only connection to them is that he /happens/ to be Nikolai’s roommate.
He chews mechanically for the +
Still, though, it’s a little awkward to be the new friend in a group that obviously already has a decent amount of history together. Especially when his only connection to them is that he /happens/ to be Nikolai’s roommate.
He chews mechanically for the +
rest of the meal, and joins in on the conversation whenever he sees an opening.
When everyone is done, they stack the plates back up in a half-hearted show of cleanliness (though Shuuji does /not/ clean up the rice he spilled on the table) before they head for the checkout.+
When everyone is done, they stack the plates back up in a half-hearted show of cleanliness (though Shuuji does /not/ clean up the rice he spilled on the table) before they head for the checkout.+
Shuuji is kind enough to pay for the meal, handing over a shiny platinum AMEX card (something that Chuuya has only ever /heard/ about in movies and books, and never thought he’d see in real life, let alone know someone who had one).
The restaurant has only gotten more packed as+
The restaurant has only gotten more packed as+
they ate, which means that Chuuya is shoved close to Shuuji’s back as he pushes his way through the crowd, fingers hooked in the back of the jacket.
(He’s not sure if Yuan’s teasing eyebrow wiggle before she pushed him behind Shuuji makes him feel singled out or /included/.)+
(He’s not sure if Yuan’s teasing eyebrow wiggle before she pushed him behind Shuuji makes him feel singled out or /included/.)+
(He does his best to ignore how broad Shuuji’s shoulders seem to be and how warmth seems to pour off him in waves. He doesn’t think he succeeds, because his face feels like it’s on fire again.)
Outside, the temperature has dropped as the sun sets, making Chuuya shiver briefly.+
Outside, the temperature has dropped as the sun sets, making Chuuya shiver briefly.+
He wore his jacket the whole time inside, so the crisp air feels like it’s cutting right through the thin layer—
An arm drapes over his shoulders, pulling him into a blisteringly warm side. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.”
Chuuya actually wasn’t worried at all, but it /is/+
An arm drapes over his shoulders, pulling him into a blisteringly warm side. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.”
Chuuya actually wasn’t worried at all, but it /is/+
nice to be pressed up against Shuuji like this, practically curled up against his side.
Yuan wiggles her eyebrows at him again, and this time he can’t help but stick his tongue out at her. She bursts into laughter, which makes Chuuya feel accomplished.
Maybe fitting in won’t+
Yuan wiggles her eyebrows at him again, and this time he can’t help but stick his tongue out at her. She bursts into laughter, which makes Chuuya feel accomplished.
Maybe fitting in won’t+
be so hard after all.
“Thanks...Shuuji,” he mutters, tasting the name on his tongue. The dazzling grin he gets for that is enough to send him stumbling blind, but he manages to keep it together.
Shuuji leads them all to a parking garage, strolling casually up to a sleek, low+
“Thanks...Shuuji,” he mutters, tasting the name on his tongue. The dazzling grin he gets for that is enough to send him stumbling blind, but he manages to keep it together.
Shuuji leads them all to a parking garage, strolling casually up to a sleek, low+
car, something that /reeks/ of luxury.
Shuuji clicks the button of something in his pocket, and the car starts up remotely with a purr.
Chuuya tries not to gape too obviously at the car, but /jesus/, he can already tell that thing costs /way/ more than his /very/ expensive +
Shuuji clicks the button of something in his pocket, and the car starts up remotely with a purr.
Chuuya tries not to gape too obviously at the car, but /jesus/, he can already tell that thing costs /way/ more than his /very/ expensive +
tuition.
With a sinking sense of shame and horror, he starts to realize that these people are /way/ out of his league.
He never went /without/ as a child— but his father was a single dad of three, and even though his salary wasn’t anything to scoff at, there was not a lot of+
With a sinking sense of shame and horror, he starts to realize that these people are /way/ out of his league.
He never went /without/ as a child— but his father was a single dad of three, and even though his salary wasn’t anything to scoff at, there was not a lot of+
extra money lying around. There was always school fines or sports club fees or a new shoes to buy.
Hell, the most expensive thing Chuuya has ever owned were his /braces/ when he was twelve.
And now, looking at these people who obviously have top-of-the-line /everything/ +
Hell, the most expensive thing Chuuya has ever owned were his /braces/ when he was twelve.
And now, looking at these people who obviously have top-of-the-line /everything/ +
(even Yuan, who is very nice and bubbly, has nails pristine enough that it doesn’t look like she’s so much as scratched her own ass)—
He feels like utter /shit/ in his thrifted red jacket and cheap shoes.
Nikolai and Shirase climb into the back of the car without hesitation. +
He feels like utter /shit/ in his thrifted red jacket and cheap shoes.
Nikolai and Shirase climb into the back of the car without hesitation. +
Chuuya hesitates outside, fighting off the odd sense that his /poorness/ might infect the seats or something.
There’s a brief altercation with Shuuji and Yuan, though Chuuya is not close enough to hear anything besides a final hissed “fine! I’ll get in the back, because I’m a +
There’s a brief altercation with Shuuji and Yuan, though Chuuya is not close enough to hear anything besides a final hissed “fine! I’ll get in the back, because I’m a +
/good wingwoman/!”.
Then Shuuji is turning to him, and Chuuya has no choice but to smile, hoping like hell he doesn’t look as awkward as he feels.
“Front seat’s all yours, babe,” he says, winking at him as he opens the door.
Oh, great. At least he doesn’t have to be shoved+
Then Shuuji is turning to him, and Chuuya has no choice but to smile, hoping like hell he doesn’t look as awkward as he feels.
“Front seat’s all yours, babe,” he says, winking at him as he opens the door.
Oh, great. At least he doesn’t have to be shoved+
in the small backseat between two of the others.
He slides in carefully, and the black leather of the seats is sleek and smooth under his hands, without so much as a speck of dirt. It's /clearly/ been customized, because the middle of the dashboard is taken up by a large +
He slides in carefully, and the black leather of the seats is sleek and smooth under his hands, without so much as a speck of dirt. It's /clearly/ been customized, because the middle of the dashboard is taken up by a large +
touchscreen. It's awake, frozen on a screen that demands a passcode.
The red interior lights are low, barely lighting up the inside of the car. He can barely feel the purr of the car underneath him, and the only reason he knows it's /on/ is because the engine button is lit up.+
The red interior lights are low, barely lighting up the inside of the car. He can barely feel the purr of the car underneath him, and the only reason he knows it's /on/ is because the engine button is lit up.+
This is probably /the/ swankiest vehicle he's ever going to sit in, and he tries to drink in the experience as much as possible(while avoiding touching things, because his nails are ragged from moving, and it just looks /wrong/ contrasted with the luxury).
The driver door opens+
The driver door opens+
and Shuuji climbs in with the confidence of someone much more used to luxury.
(Really though, what kind of college student needs a car in Japan? Doesn't he live in the dorms with everyone else? It's much more practical to take the train.)
For some reason, Shuuji doesn't touch+
(Really though, what kind of college student needs a car in Japan? Doesn't he live in the dorms with everyone else? It's much more practical to take the train.)
For some reason, Shuuji doesn't touch+
the screen, choosing instead to start up some music on his phone as he backs out of the parking spot.
He's a bad driver compared to Chuuya's dad, swerving in the lane as he joins in on the conversation or starts singing along with the song. Chuuya spends the entire drive +
He's a bad driver compared to Chuuya's dad, swerving in the lane as he joins in on the conversation or starts singing along with the song. Chuuya spends the entire drive +
plastered to his door, clutching onto the handle for dear life, because he /swears/ he sees his life flash before his eyes at least twice.
Halfway through (by this time, he would've been back on campus if he'd taken the train, Chuuya notes with slight hysteria), the music cuts+
Halfway through (by this time, he would've been back on campus if he'd taken the train, Chuuya notes with slight hysteria), the music cuts+
out.
Shuuji's phone is ringing. The name on the phone: DAZAI OSAMU (dad).
The backseat breaks out in a loud "ooooooohhh, you're in /trouble/~" in near synchronization. Yuan cackles, leaning forward until her head is nearly in the front seat with them. "Does your dad know you+
Shuuji's phone is ringing. The name on the phone: DAZAI OSAMU (dad).
The backseat breaks out in a loud "ooooooohhh, you're in /trouble/~" in near synchronization. Yuan cackles, leaning forward until her head is nearly in the front seat with them. "Does your dad know you+
have this car?"
He /stole/ this car? From his rich dad? Who may or may not call the police on them for said stolen car?
For a brief, terrible moment, Chuuya envisions calling his dad from inside a jail cell and explaining how he got arrested on literally his /first/ day away+
He /stole/ this car? From his rich dad? Who may or may not call the police on them for said stolen car?
For a brief, terrible moment, Chuuya envisions calling his dad from inside a jail cell and explaining how he got arrested on literally his /first/ day away+
from home.
He groans internally, running a hand through his hair. He's never going to be allowed outside without supervision /again/.
Shuuji rolls his eyes. "Of course he does. He went out of the country for a few days, and he said I could do whatever I wanted. He's probably+
He groans internally, running a hand through his hair. He's never going to be allowed outside without supervision /again/.
Shuuji rolls his eyes. "Of course he does. He went out of the country for a few days, and he said I could do whatever I wanted. He's probably+
just calling to let me know he got home safely."
Chuuya /highly/ doubts that, considering he calls again /immediately/ after Shuuji sends the first call to voicemail. That's basically code for angry parental unit.
But Shuuji doesn't answer, and the cops don't appear out of+
Chuuya /highly/ doubts that, considering he calls again /immediately/ after Shuuji sends the first call to voicemail. That's basically code for angry parental unit.
But Shuuji doesn't answer, and the cops don't appear out of+
nowhere to haul him away, so at least Chuuya will somehow survive the evening.
The energy is somewhat dimmed though, with the mention of /parents/, so the rest of the ride is filled with quiet phone-scrolling, or Nikolai filling the quiet with his seemingly-endless stream of+
The energy is somewhat dimmed though, with the mention of /parents/, so the rest of the ride is filled with quiet phone-scrolling, or Nikolai filling the quiet with his seemingly-endless stream of+
chatter.
When the university campus finally rolls into view, Chuuya breathes a sigh of relief. He never thought he'd miss a bed he's never slept in, but here he is.
Shuuji parks (crookedly, with the rear end sticking out and /begging/ to be hit by oncoming traffic) and steps +
When the university campus finally rolls into view, Chuuya breathes a sigh of relief. He never thought he'd miss a bed he's never slept in, but here he is.
Shuuji parks (crookedly, with the rear end sticking out and /begging/ to be hit by oncoming traffic) and steps +
out to let the trio in the back climb out onto the sidewalk.
Meanwhile, Chuuya is tugging at the door handle with increasing desperation, because it seems to be child-locked from the inside (for what fucking reason, he doesn't know) and he can't seem to find the lock, and he's +
Meanwhile, Chuuya is tugging at the door handle with increasing desperation, because it seems to be child-locked from the inside (for what fucking reason, he doesn't know) and he can't seem to find the lock, and he's +
starting to look like an /idiot/, too poor to even know how to open a damn car door by himself.
He's debating sliding across the seat to exit through the drivers door,because he's starting to feel frustrated and /trapped/--
But before he can, Shuuji drops back inside, shutting+
He's debating sliding across the seat to exit through the drivers door,because he's starting to feel frustrated and /trapped/--
But before he can, Shuuji drops back inside, shutting+
the door with a resounding thud.
The inside of the car seems oppressively silent now, and Chuuya slowly stops pulling at the handle. He doesn't want to seem like an idiot, not when Shuuji is /staring/ at him, eyes nearly black in the darkness.
Then he reaches out, putting a +
The inside of the car seems oppressively silent now, and Chuuya slowly stops pulling at the handle. He doesn't want to seem like an idiot, not when Shuuji is /staring/ at him, eyes nearly black in the darkness.
Then he reaches out, putting a +
hand on Chuuya's thigh. Not low either, no his fingertips are /inches/ away from his crotch, and Chuuya is caught between anxiety and excitement.
Yes, he might /want/ Shuuji to touch him like that, and might even enjoy it under other circumstances--
But not when he has +
Yes, he might /want/ Shuuji to touch him like that, and might even enjoy it under other circumstances--
But not when he has +
nowhere else to /go/, not when he feels pinned between him and closed car door that he /can't get open/--
Shuuji smiles at him, like he has him right where he wants him. "Let me have your phone number."
Oh.
Well, he wasn't expecting /that/, and certainly not for it to happen +
Shuuji smiles at him, like he has him right where he wants him. "Let me have your phone number."
Oh.
Well, he wasn't expecting /that/, and certainly not for it to happen +
like /this/ but he's not /opposed/ to it.
"Sure. Do you have a pen?" He asks, figuring he's going to write down his number on his palm like every teen romance movie out there.
Instead, a phone, already opened to the contacts page, is shoved underneath his nose insistently.
+
"Sure. Do you have a pen?" He asks, figuring he's going to write down his number on his palm like every teen romance movie out there.
Instead, a phone, already opened to the contacts page, is shoved underneath his nose insistently.
+
Chuuya takes it, entering in his phone number under the hawk-like gaze of Shuuji. He even inputs his name, double-checking to make sure the number is correct before handing back the phone.
"There," he says quietly, "now could you help me--"
Shuuji cuts him off. "I'm going to+
"There," he says quietly, "now could you help me--"
Shuuji cuts him off. "I'm going to+
call you, make sure you didn't accidentally give me the wrong number."
He /says/ accidentally, but the way he's staring him down with hard eyes as he raises his phone to his ear makes it /seem/ like he doesn't believe it would be an accident.
Why wouldn't he give him the right+
He /says/ accidentally, but the way he's staring him down with hard eyes as he raises his phone to his ear makes it /seem/ like he doesn't believe it would be an accident.
Why wouldn't he give him the right+
number? Why does he feel so /cornered/ by him?
When his phone doesn't immediately ring, Chuuya starts to panic, because he /swears/ he gave Shuuji the right number, and why is he starting to look so /irritated/?
It would just be a mistake, so why does it seem so /personal/?
+
When his phone doesn't immediately ring, Chuuya starts to panic, because he /swears/ he gave Shuuji the right number, and why is he starting to look so /irritated/?
It would just be a mistake, so why does it seem so /personal/?
+
Then, finally, miraculously, the call goes through and his phone rings.
Sighing in relief, he fishes it out of his pocket, and flashes the screen at Shuuji to prove that he did, in fact,give him the right phone number.
The way his expression instantly clears back into friendly+
Sighing in relief, he fishes it out of his pocket, and flashes the screen at Shuuji to prove that he did, in fact,give him the right phone number.
The way his expression instantly clears back into friendly+
eagerness, like the last thirty seconds never happened. "Great! I'll be texting you, darling."
Then he reaches over to press a button on his side of the car, which makes a clicking sound.
Chuuya pulls on the handle again, and this time the door opens without a single problem.+
Then he reaches over to press a button on his side of the car, which makes a clicking sound.
Chuuya pulls on the handle again, and this time the door opens without a single problem.+
He stumbles out into the street, confused as hell, because what the /fuck/ was that all about?
Did...did Shuuji /lock/ him in the car? Did he want to get a few moments alone with him, or did he just forget that it was locked?
And, assumingly, he wasn't very /subtle/ about his+
Did...did Shuuji /lock/ him in the car? Did he want to get a few moments alone with him, or did he just forget that it was locked?
And, assumingly, he wasn't very /subtle/ about his+
insta-crush, considering Yuan teased him silently about it earlier /and/ Shuuji asked for his number so...
Why was he so convinced that he would've given him the wrong one?
The whole situation is baffling, and Chuuya doesn't know what to /make/ of it, because that's not how he+
Why was he so convinced that he would've given him the wrong one?
The whole situation is baffling, and Chuuya doesn't know what to /make/ of it, because that's not how he+
/heard/ how these situations were supposed to go but...
Besides his /very/ brief explorations with a few girls that were friends of the family (which led to the discovery that not only was Chuuya gay, he was also gay as hell), he's only ever watched movies and read books.
None+
Besides his /very/ brief explorations with a few girls that were friends of the family (which led to the discovery that not only was Chuuya gay, he was also gay as hell), he's only ever watched movies and read books.
None+
of his close friends have partners,and he doesn't feel comfortable enough calling up his older sister to ask how /her/ boyfriend got her number so...
Maybe he's just inexperienced.Maybe he felt kind of uncomfortable because he's just never been in that kind of situation before,+
Maybe he's just inexperienced.Maybe he felt kind of uncomfortable because he's just never been in that kind of situation before,+
with a cute boy he liked staring him down.
Maybe that's just the way things are supposed to go.
Maybe he's just being overdramatic,and needs to learn how to relax a little.
The night has gotten even colder,so he wraps his jacket tighter around himself,heading up the sidewalk.+
Maybe that's just the way things are supposed to go.
Maybe he's just being overdramatic,and needs to learn how to relax a little.
The night has gotten even colder,so he wraps his jacket tighter around himself,heading up the sidewalk.+
Yuan and Shirase have waited with Nikolai for him, but they quickly say their goodbyes and head off together off campus. Apparently, they live in apartments nearby, and Chuuya is so jealous he could cry.
Mercifully, Nikolai is quiet as they walk back to their dorm, preoccupied+
Mercifully, Nikolai is quiet as they walk back to their dorm, preoccupied+
with some game on his phone that plays tinny russian music.
Chuuya spends the entire night /thinking/.
---------
Dazai wakes up in a haze of exhaustion, sleep sucking at him with the force of a rip current, trying to pull him back under.
Truth be told, with the jet lag, he +
Chuuya spends the entire night /thinking/.
---------
Dazai wakes up in a haze of exhaustion, sleep sucking at him with the force of a rip current, trying to pull him back under.
Truth be told, with the jet lag, he +
doesn't know what time it is. No light ever makes it through the blackout curtains.
Though, he /can/ hear the dogs panting from somewhere in the room, which leads to the assumption that it's somewhere near school hours. They like to stalk Shuuji around the house whenever he's+
Though, he /can/ hear the dogs panting from somewhere in the room, which leads to the assumption that it's somewhere near school hours. They like to stalk Shuuji around the house whenever he's+
home, and Shuuji usually spends most of his free hours in his room playing the latest games.
So. It's probably not /too/ late, and while his body screams for an extra few hours of sleep--
His mind is annoyingly awake, resistant to the idea of sleep. Already, his mind is +
So. It's probably not /too/ late, and while his body screams for an extra few hours of sleep--
His mind is annoyingly awake, resistant to the idea of sleep. Already, his mind is +
conjuring up a list of tasks he needs to do, sorting them by order of importance, and then re-sorting them by urgency, running in endless circles.
/God/, Dazai just wants to /sleep./
But that's not happening today, so he drags himself out of bed and stumbles to the bathroom+
/God/, Dazai just wants to /sleep./
But that's not happening today, so he drags himself out of bed and stumbles to the bathroom+
He stares at himself blearily in the mirror, noting how pale he looks under the lights. It looks like he's lost a bit of weight,which makes sense because he hasn't had the time to hit the gym or even eat properly lately.
He needs a haircut.He needs a shave.
He needs a goddman+
He needs a haircut.He needs a shave.
He needs a goddman+
vacation.
But he's not going to get one, not anytime soon, so he pushes away from the mirror and turns the shower on to the hottest temperature he can stand.
The gray sweatpants he's wearing get thrown in the vague direction of the hamper. He'll pick them up later. Maybe. +
But he's not going to get one, not anytime soon, so he pushes away from the mirror and turns the shower on to the hottest temperature he can stand.
The gray sweatpants he's wearing get thrown in the vague direction of the hamper. He'll pick them up later. Maybe. +
The hot water feels like /heaven/ on his sore muscles, soothing away most of his pain. Bracing his hands on the tiles, he lets his head hang and enjoys the heat for a long moment.
Water drips down his hair and into his face. He closes his eyes with a sigh, drifting somewhere +
Water drips down his hair and into his face. He closes his eyes with a sigh, drifting somewhere +
between exhaustion and distant anxiety.
Despite how hard he's been working lately, trying to figure out /why/ the russian Rats are so active in the city lately, he's barely closer to discovering their plans.
And in /his/ job, if he doesn't have the correct information, or +
Despite how hard he's been working lately, trying to figure out /why/ the russian Rats are so active in the city lately, he's barely closer to discovering their plans.
And in /his/ job, if he doesn't have the correct information, or +
/enough/ information, he can /quickly/ end on the chopping block of whoever wants him the most.
So. More work ahead, and /maybe/, if he's lucky, a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.
Sighing, he washes himself up quickly, soaping up his hair. The stubble, he leaves, +
So. More work ahead, and /maybe/, if he's lucky, a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel.
Sighing, he washes himself up quickly, soaping up his hair. The stubble, he leaves, +
because he doesn't care enough to take the time to shave right now.
He's not going to see anyone that he needs to impress today, anyways. Today is all about hitting up all his information dealers and for that, the rugged look might be more appropriate.
The scarier he looks, +
He's not going to see anyone that he needs to impress today, anyways. Today is all about hitting up all his information dealers and for that, the rugged look might be more appropriate.
The scarier he looks, +
the more /cooperative/ people tend to be.
Which is why he chooses to wear a dark leather jacket with sewn-in holsters for knives, with a dark maroon shirt underneath and black jeans, paired with his heaviest pair of boots, laced up to his knees.
Is he riding his motorcycle +
Which is why he chooses to wear a dark leather jacket with sewn-in holsters for knives, with a dark maroon shirt underneath and black jeans, paired with his heaviest pair of boots, laced up to his knees.
Is he riding his motorcycle +
today? No. Will he be kicking somebody's ass today?
Considering the sour mood he's in, probably.
He makes sure to grab his travel bag on the way down to the garage, because he needs to put all the things he took with him to France back in their usual spots.
Granted, his car +
Considering the sour mood he's in, probably.
He makes sure to grab his travel bag on the way down to the garage, because he needs to put all the things he took with him to France back in their usual spots.
Granted, his car +
is stocked with all the weapons and tech he needs but he /likes/having all his favorite toys within easy reach.
Besides, he muses to himself,it's probably time he cleans out his car-
His car.
Is gone.
The keys are missing off the rack too,which means--
"/That little shit./"+
Besides, he muses to himself,it's probably time he cleans out his car-
His car.
Is gone.
The keys are missing off the rack too,which means--
"/That little shit./"+
Dazai would consider himself a laidback parent. It feels unfair to start suddenly enforcing rules and expectations on a child who, for many reasons, he hasn’t had much contact with before Shuuji became an adult.
He visited when he could, but between his job and Shuuji’s mother,+
He visited when he could, but between his job and Shuuji’s mother,+
that wasn’t very often.
And besides, Dazai had /no/ idea what to do with a ten-year old going through his typical angsty phase that he knew nothing about. It made visits...awkward, to say the least.
So, Dazai only has two rules:
1. Don’t get arrested. He dislikes police on+
And besides, Dazai had /no/ idea what to do with a ten-year old going through his typical angsty phase that he knew nothing about. It made visits...awkward, to say the least.
So, Dazai only has two rules:
1. Don’t get arrested. He dislikes police on+
a /good/ day, and if he never saw a badge again, it’d be too soon.
2. Don’t touch his stuff, especially the stuff he says not to touch and /especially/ the stuff he uses for work.
Perhaps being lenient is his downfall as a parent. Because, somehow, that has led to his idiot +
2. Don’t touch his stuff, especially the stuff he says not to touch and /especially/ the stuff he uses for work.
Perhaps being lenient is his downfall as a parent. Because, somehow, that has led to his idiot +
son, who took three tries to pass the driving test, driving his car which is /literally/ stocked with an arsenal of weapons, several of which are /illegal/ to own in Japan.
And, knowing Shuuji, he’s probably with his other idiot friends, some of which couldn’t find a braincell+
And, knowing Shuuji, he’s probably with his other idiot friends, some of which couldn’t find a braincell+
between them. (Except for Yuan. He likes Yuan, but she's an /enabler/,so even she has her flaws.)
Pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off the growing headache, Dazai groans. Not only is his work for the day derailed, but he'll be lucky if his son doesn't end up on the news+
Pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off the growing headache, Dazai groans. Not only is his work for the day derailed, but he'll be lucky if his son doesn't end up on the news+
for weapons trafficking.
Dropping his bag heavily to the floor, he takes his phone from his pocket, unlocking it. It only takes him a second to find Shuuji's contact, because he only uses /this/ phone for his personal life.
He brings his phone to his ear, waiting for the dial+
Dropping his bag heavily to the floor, he takes his phone from his pocket, unlocking it. It only takes him a second to find Shuuji's contact, because he only uses /this/ phone for his personal life.
He brings his phone to his ear, waiting for the dial+
tone. Truthfully, he doesn't have much hope that Shuuji will actually answer his call--he likes to avoid confrontation at any costs, and he probably knows he's in trouble by now-- but what else is he supposed to do? Wait for him to come home in the living room with a lamp turned+
on, like those stereotypical parents in those teen movies? Go hunt him down himself?
(He considers that one /very/ carefully, because there /is/ a tracking chip in the car, and it'd be childs play to access it.)
The phone clicks, sending his call to voicemail. He growls lowly,+
(He considers that one /very/ carefully, because there /is/ a tracking chip in the car, and it'd be childs play to access it.)
The phone clicks, sending his call to voicemail. He growls lowly,+
frustration boiling up inside him. Shuuji is a college student, not a toddler. Dazai shouldn’t have to hide his keys from him like he can’t be trusted.
On second thought, maybe that’s exactly what this incident is proving.
He calls again, with the distant hope that he’ll pick+
On second thought, maybe that’s exactly what this incident is proving.
He calls again, with the distant hope that he’ll pick+
up this time, but mostly so he’ll get the silent message that Dazai knows and he’s /pissed/.
He doesn’t bother leaving voicemails. Shuuji never listens to them anyways.
Shutting off his phone, Dazai decides to give until tonight to return with his car. If he’s not back by the+
He doesn’t bother leaving voicemails. Shuuji never listens to them anyways.
Shutting off his phone, Dazai decides to give until tonight to return with his car. If he’s not back by the+
time Dazai returns from his errands, then he’s going to track him down and drag him back by his /hair/.
In the meantime... Dazai’s eyes fall on his helmet. Guess he’s taking the motorcycle to work today.
A little inconvénient, considering he can’t carry /nearly/ as much stuff+
In the meantime... Dazai’s eyes fall on his helmet. Guess he’s taking the motorcycle to work today.
A little inconvénient, considering he can’t carry /nearly/ as much stuff+
as he couldve otherwise but...
Maybe the wind will help to clear his head.
It’s a good thing he decided to wear his boots today, he muses, before shoving his helmet onto his head and grabbing his keys.
The bike starts with a low purr, vibrating powerfully underneath him.+
Maybe the wind will help to clear his head.
It’s a good thing he decided to wear his boots today, he muses, before shoving his helmet onto his head and grabbing his keys.
The bike starts with a low purr, vibrating powerfully underneath him.+
It’s been too long since he last took it out for a spin.
He revs the engine with a grin, peeling out of the garage wickedly fast.
—
The warehouse he’s looking for is on the outskirts of the industrial sector of the city. It was abandoned after the company downsized and the+
He revs the engine with a grin, peeling out of the garage wickedly fast.
—
The warehouse he’s looking for is on the outskirts of the industrial sector of the city. It was abandoned after the company downsized and the+
building inspectors cited a few flaws in the construction. Technically, it was supposed to be torn down a few years ago, but it keeps getting pushed back.
Or, well—
/Someone/ keeps pushing it back.
Dazai whistles lowly, checking for nearby people before he slips into the +
Or, well—
/Someone/ keeps pushing it back.
Dazai whistles lowly, checking for nearby people before he slips into the +
side door. His bike is parked in a nearby alleyway, half-hidden by a dumpster.
The metal grating of the stairs rattles loudly under his feet, a cheap warning system, and he doesn’t even try to bother to cover his footsteps.
He’s sure the kid has a few cameras on the outside+
The metal grating of the stairs rattles loudly under his feet, a cheap warning system, and he doesn’t even try to bother to cover his footsteps.
He’s sure the kid has a few cameras on the outside+
of the building and already knows he’s coming. If he doesn’t—
Well. Then he’s getting rusty, and what better person to make him dust off his skills than Dazai?
Sure enough though, as soon as he hits the bottom of the stairs and turns right, heading into the darkened corner of+
Well. Then he’s getting rusty, and what better person to make him dust off his skills than Dazai?
Sure enough though, as soon as he hits the bottom of the stairs and turns right, heading into the darkened corner of+
the warehouse, a voice calls out from the gloom, “I told you last time not to come back, old man.”
There’s a sectioned off room near the corner.The door is open, and the blue-white lights of computer screens spills through the gap.
Dazai gasps, clutching his chest dramatically+
There’s a sectioned off room near the corner.The door is open, and the blue-white lights of computer screens spills through the gap.
Dazai gasps, clutching his chest dramatically+
as he keeps moving forward. “I did think about staying away. I did! But then I got to thinking— you must /miss/ me. So here I am, visiting.”
He shoves the door open the rest of the way, sauntering in easily.
Inside is a massive bank of computers, hemmed in by even bigger tanks+
He shoves the door open the rest of the way, sauntering in easily.
Inside is a massive bank of computers, hemmed in by even bigger tanks+
of freshwater aquariums, to help keep the temperature down.
And in the middle, surrounded by screens and a rigged iPad that somehow connects and controls all the machines in the room, glaring at him with that surly teenager look Dazai is getting /very/ used to (he sees it+
And in the middle, surrounded by screens and a rigged iPad that somehow connects and controls all the machines in the room, glaring at him with that surly teenager look Dazai is getting /very/ used to (he sees it+
every day in his house, lately) is /just/ the man Dazai is looking for.
“What do you want?”
“The same thing I always want, Rokozou,” Dazai sighs, collapsing onto the lone piece of furniture in the room, a cramped couch. He stretches his legs out as far as they will go, +
“What do you want?”
“The same thing I always want, Rokozou,” Dazai sighs, collapsing onto the lone piece of furniture in the room, a cramped couch. He stretches his legs out as far as they will go, +
crossed at the ankle. He laces his fingers together behind his head, smiling with all his teeth. “Information.”
Not many people know it, but Rokuzou Taguchi is /the/ best hacker on this side of Japan. Young, talented, and filled with that fearless recklessness all young people+
Not many people know it, but Rokuzou Taguchi is /the/ best hacker on this side of Japan. Young, talented, and filled with that fearless recklessness all young people+
have in spades.
Word on the streets is that he can hack into anything below government level clearance.
Dazai has it on personal authority that he can crack the firewalls of any government the kid puts his mind to.
He also has it on authority that Rokuzou will sell /any/+
Word on the streets is that he can hack into anything below government level clearance.
Dazai has it on personal authority that he can crack the firewalls of any government the kid puts his mind to.
He also has it on authority that Rokuzou will sell /any/+
data he can get his hands on—for the right price, of course.
In another life, he could’ve made a killer government agent,maybe a spy or something in security. But in this one... he makes deals with shady characters and hunts relentlessly for a piece of information even he can’t+
In another life, he could’ve made a killer government agent,maybe a spy or something in security. But in this one... he makes deals with shady characters and hunts relentlessly for a piece of information even he can’t+
seem to find.
All the better for Dazai, unfortunately. Rokuzou reminds him of his younger self, to be truthful, if he were born with a computer in his hand instead of a gun.
Rokuzou turns to him, interest gleaming in his eye. He taps a few times on his tablet before turning+
All the better for Dazai, unfortunately. Rokuzou reminds him of his younger self, to be truthful, if he were born with a computer in his hand instead of a gun.
Rokuzou turns to him, interest gleaming in his eye. He taps a few times on his tablet before turning+
completely to him, giving him his full attention. “What /kind/ of information?
Here’s the trick with negotiation: /never/ show your hand too quickly. Never let the other person know how badly you need or want what they have.
Build the deal in your favor. Make it seem like +
Here’s the trick with negotiation: /never/ show your hand too quickly. Never let the other person know how badly you need or want what they have.
Build the deal in your favor. Make it seem like +
you’re doing /them/ a favor by agreeing to a trade.
So instead of saying what /he/ wants—
He starts with something irresistible. “You know, when I was in France earlier this week, I heard the Americans talking. Rumors mostly, but they said some /very/ interesting names, so I+
So instead of saying what /he/ wants—
He starts with something irresistible. “You know, when I was in France earlier this week, I heard the Americans talking. Rumors mostly, but they said some /very/ interesting names, so I+
took the liberty of checking into it.”
He pauses there, letting the tension build for a moment. When Rokuzou’s eyes narrow, clearly demanding he go on, he continues slowly, “and imagine my surprise when I discovered that the Azure King and his Apostle recently signed a contract+
He pauses there, letting the tension build for a moment. When Rokuzou’s eyes narrow, clearly demanding he go on, he continues slowly, “and imagine my surprise when I discovered that the Azure King and his Apostle recently signed a contract+
with an American company.”
...That doesn’t mean Dazai doesn’t feel /bad/ for using Rokuzou’s weaknesses against him, because he does. The feverish manic focus that fills his eyes, and the way that /revenge/ has been his primary motivation for the last 3 years, ever since his +
...That doesn’t mean Dazai doesn’t feel /bad/ for using Rokuzou’s weaknesses against him, because he does. The feverish manic focus that fills his eyes, and the way that /revenge/ has been his primary motivation for the last 3 years, ever since his +
father died when he was 16, makes Dazai vaguely nauseous to look at.
There’s a part of him that wants to shake the kid, tell him to let go and move on because his dad wouldn’t have wanted him to live like /this/, perpetually on the run and selling scraps of info to murderers.+
There’s a part of him that wants to shake the kid, tell him to let go and move on because his dad wouldn’t have wanted him to live like /this/, perpetually on the run and selling scraps of info to murderers.+
But he’s not Dazai’s responsibility. He’s a grown man now, able to make his own decisions, and even if Dazai did try to step in—
Rokuzou wouldn’t listen.
The best thing Dazai can do for him is help him when he can, and hope that’ll be enough some day.
He fishes a small USB+
Rokuzou wouldn’t listen.
The best thing Dazai can do for him is help him when he can, and hope that’ll be enough some day.
He fishes a small USB+
out of his pocket, showing it to Rokuzou. “I am willing to give this to you. Names, dates, companies, numbers, everything I could dig up, and probably more than a few clues on where to keep digging.”
Hazel eyes lock onto the USB with all the intensity of a starving dog. “In +
Hazel eyes lock onto the USB with all the intensity of a starving dog. “In +
exchange for what?”
“All movement of the Rats in the House of the Dead for the past two weeks.”
Rokuzou’s eyebrows shoot up, incredulous. It’s a big request, Dazai knows, but he’s banking on how much Rokuzou is willing to give up for the information on the Azure King.+
“All movement of the Rats in the House of the Dead for the past two weeks.”
Rokuzou’s eyebrows shoot up, incredulous. It’s a big request, Dazai knows, but he’s banking on how much Rokuzou is willing to give up for the information on the Azure King.+
His gaze shifts from the USB drive to Dazai and back again, quickly calculating. “Aren’t you like... friends with their leader? Why don’t you ask him?”
Dazai grimaces. ‘Friends’ is a /strong/ word. More like unlikely and unwilling acquaintances that have been in the business so+
Dazai grimaces. ‘Friends’ is a /strong/ word. More like unlikely and unwilling acquaintances that have been in the business so+
long that sometimes there’s no choice but to sit down and share a few glasses of whiskey while reminiscing over all the times they tried to kill eachother. Such is his long, loving and intimate relationship with one Fyodor Dostoevsky. “Do you really think he’s just going to +
/tell/ me?”
Rokuzou shifts from foot to foot, and it’s clear that it just occurred to him how stupid the question sounded. “...have you tried asking nicely?”
Dazai stares him down, eyes sharp and piercing, until he can see the tension begin to build. Then he smiles, slow and+
Rokuzou shifts from foot to foot, and it’s clear that it just occurred to him how stupid the question sounded. “...have you tried asking nicely?”
Dazai stares him down, eyes sharp and piercing, until he can see the tension begin to build. Then he smiles, slow and+
mean, all sharp teeth and sharper intentions. Leaning forward, he props his elbows up on his knees, leaning his chin on his hands. “Tell you what, Rokuzou,” he drawls, letting his voice drop in something deeper, more dangerous. “I think you should take the deal— or I’ll start+
/you/ nicely.”
And based on his posture, the subtle glint of knives under his leather jacket, the way his eyes are focused laser-sharp, a predator on the hunt—
‘Nicely’ would not be the correct term.
Rokuzou gulps, taking back a step. Dazai’s never /hurt/ him, or even tried+
And based on his posture, the subtle glint of knives under his leather jacket, the way his eyes are focused laser-sharp, a predator on the hunt—
‘Nicely’ would not be the correct term.
Rokuzou gulps, taking back a step. Dazai’s never /hurt/ him, or even tried+
to— not like some of his /other/ customers, who seem to think that they can get more information out of him with their fists—
But Rokuzou /knows/ Dazai’s reputation. Practically grew up on it, horror stories that his parents told him to keep him away from dark alleyways and +
But Rokuzou /knows/ Dazai’s reputation. Practically grew up on it, horror stories that his parents told him to keep him away from dark alleyways and +
strangers on the street.
He even looked into the stories when he was older, and they’re /all/ true.
The man sitting on his couch —ass on the pillow Rokuzou sleeps on for fucks sake— might not be the /same/ man he heard stories about, but there’s the unspoken knowledge that+
He even looked into the stories when he was older, and they’re /all/ true.
The man sitting on his couch —ass on the pillow Rokuzou sleeps on for fucks sake— might not be the /same/ man he heard stories about, but there’s the unspoken knowledge that+
if Dazai wanted him to disappear?
There’s no one on this planet that would be able to find him again.
“Fine,” he grumbles, bringing his tablet back up. “It’ll take a minute.”
A few minutes, actually, to compile all the data onto a disc, but Dazai’s never complained about a+
There’s no one on this planet that would be able to find him again.
“Fine,” he grumbles, bringing his tablet back up. “It’ll take a minute.”
A few minutes, actually, to compile all the data onto a disc, but Dazai’s never complained about a+
wait before.
He doesn’t now either. “Great!” He says, all that dangerous energy melting away like it never existed. Leaning back again, he pulls out his phone, waking the device with a few touches. “You eaten yet today?”
Rokuzou’s always been thin, but now his wrists and+
He doesn’t now either. “Great!” He says, all that dangerous energy melting away like it never existed. Leaning back again, he pulls out his phone, waking the device with a few touches. “You eaten yet today?”
Rokuzou’s always been thin, but now his wrists and+
cheekbones stick out harshly enough that Dazai’s stomach aches in sympathy.
Rokuzou throws him an incredulous look, wondering why the hell that matters.
Dazai takes that as a no, opening up his food delivery app. “You thinking ramen or Tonkatsu? There’s a restaurant nearby—“+
Rokuzou throws him an incredulous look, wondering why the hell that matters.
Dazai takes that as a no, opening up his food delivery app. “You thinking ramen or Tonkatsu? There’s a restaurant nearby—“+
Rokuzou rolls his eyes. “Neither, actually—.”
“Ramen it is,” Dazai hums, placing a quick order. He doesn’t know what he likes anyways, so he keeps it simple.
“You’re not my dad—“
The silence that falls between them after that is heavy and awkward. Clearly, Rokuzou didn’t +
“Ramen it is,” Dazai hums, placing a quick order. He doesn’t know what he likes anyways, so he keeps it simple.
“You’re not my dad—“
The silence that falls between them after that is heavy and awkward. Clearly, Rokuzou didn’t +
mean to say that, because he’s biting his lip harshly and looking intensely at his tablet.
He’s right though, Dazai isn’t. He doesn’t want to be, either, and he doesn’t want to fix him either. No one can fix what happened.
He sighs, choosing instead to change the subject +
He’s right though, Dazai isn’t. He doesn’t want to be, either, and he doesn’t want to fix him either. No one can fix what happened.
He sighs, choosing instead to change the subject +
to something else. "Is that detective you work with still hooked on finding me?"
Some of the computer screens change color, turning white as Rokuzou accesses his files. He snorts, "Kunikida? Oh yeah. The other day, he even offered me a deal to turn you in."
Dazai sits up +
Some of the computer screens change color, turning white as Rokuzou accesses his files. He snorts, "Kunikida? Oh yeah. The other day, he even offered me a deal to turn you in."
Dazai sits up +
straighter, interested. Kunikida is a very good detective, he has to admit, but he has one fatal flaw:he /always/ plays by the rules.
In a job where your goal is to catch the most elusive, hardened criminals,that alone can be your downfall.
"Oh? What'd he offer you?"
Plugging+
In a job where your goal is to catch the most elusive, hardened criminals,that alone can be your downfall.
"Oh? What'd he offer you?"
Plugging+
in a USB into the port on one of his computers, Rokuzou snickers. "He offered to wipe out my entire criminal record."
Arching an eyebrow, Dazai says, "All of it?"
There's a pause before the kid is throwing a smug smirk over his shoulder at him. "No, not all of it. Only the +
Arching an eyebrow, Dazai says, "All of it?"
There's a pause before the kid is throwing a smug smirk over his shoulder at him. "No, not all of it. Only the +
things he knows about."
/That/ makes Dazai laugh, inexplicably fond.
By the time Rokuzou is done downloading all the information, the food has arrived. Dazai makes the trip outside to get it, passing the delivery driver a hefty tip and a stern look to keep him from talking +
/That/ makes Dazai laugh, inexplicably fond.
By the time Rokuzou is done downloading all the information, the food has arrived. Dazai makes the trip outside to get it, passing the delivery driver a hefty tip and a stern look to keep him from talking +
about the strange delivery to the outskirts of the warehouse district.
Rokuzou tosses him the USB when he comes back in, and only Dazai's quick reflexes keep it from smashing on the ground. He pockets it, leaving the food and his USB on the small table.
"Eat," he says sternly,+
Rokuzou tosses him the USB when he comes back in, and only Dazai's quick reflexes keep it from smashing on the ground. He pockets it, leaving the food and his USB on the small table.
"Eat," he says sternly,+
pointing at the kid to show how serious he is.
Rokuzou rolls his eyes again, starting up another program on his computers. "Or what, old man?"
Dazai pretends to think about it, tapping his chin with a finger. He /was/ going to use this as another bargaining chip but--
He +
Rokuzou rolls his eyes again, starting up another program on his computers. "Or what, old man?"
Dazai pretends to think about it, tapping his chin with a finger. He /was/ going to use this as another bargaining chip but--
He +
supposes this is good enough for him. "Or I won't tell you the encryption code on that USB."
For a second, Dazai is convinced Rokuzou is about to throw his iPad at him with how quickly he turns to glare at him. Raising his hands in the air peacefully, he grins and backs up to +
For a second, Dazai is convinced Rokuzou is about to throw his iPad at him with how quickly he turns to glare at him. Raising his hands in the air peacefully, he grins and backs up to +
the door. "It's programmed to wipe all data after three incorrect attempts~!"
"You FUCKER--"
Dazai /does/ have to dodge an empty coffee cop that's thrown at his head, but considering it's made out of styrofoam, it feels rather anticlimactic as it floats to the floor.
Knowing+
"You FUCKER--"
Dazai /does/ have to dodge an empty coffee cop that's thrown at his head, but considering it's made out of styrofoam, it feels rather anticlimactic as it floats to the floor.
Knowing+
Rokuzou won't chase him out of the warehouse in broad daylight--he was a stupid kid, got himself on the news quite a few times, and erasing one's criminal record from the national debate is not as easy as it sounds-- Dazai takes his time ascending the stairs and making his way +
back to his bike.
He still has a few errands to run; mostly menial tasks, like getting himself a new burner phone,transferring the contents of the USB Rokuzou gave him onto a new one (he /likes/ the kid, but he doesn't trust him), buying new bandages and foundation because his+
He still has a few errands to run; mostly menial tasks, like getting himself a new burner phone,transferring the contents of the USB Rokuzou gave him onto a new one (he /likes/ the kid, but he doesn't trust him), buying new bandages and foundation because his+
supply is running low.
Then it's back home, to analyze the information and make a plan from there. And put Shuuji back into his place.
When he's getting a coffee, a brand new disposable phone shoved into one of his many pockets, he receives a text on the old phone.
[UNKNOWN|:+
Then it's back home, to analyze the information and make a plan from there. And put Shuuji back into his place.
When he's getting a coffee, a brand new disposable phone shoved into one of his many pockets, he receives a text on the old phone.
[UNKNOWN|:+
jpeg attached.
[UNKNOWN]: there u fckn go gimme the pass
It's a picture of a mostly empty ramen bowl, complete with a middle finger centered directly in view.
Dazai smiles, sending him the code without further hesitation. A deal's a deal.
A few seconds later, another text +
[UNKNOWN]: there u fckn go gimme the pass
It's a picture of a mostly empty ramen bowl, complete with a middle finger centered directly in view.
Dazai smiles, sending him the code without further hesitation. A deal's a deal.
A few seconds later, another text +
comes in.
[UNKNOWN]: thx. i hate u
[DAZAI]: :( <3
Glancing around subtly to make sure no one is watching him too closely, Dazai removes the SD card and superstitiously slips it into his coffee cup after taking one more sip. The liquid will short out the card and hopefully+
[UNKNOWN]: thx. i hate u
[DAZAI]: :( <3
Glancing around subtly to make sure no one is watching him too closely, Dazai removes the SD card and superstitiously slips it into his coffee cup after taking one more sip. The liquid will short out the card and hopefully+
make it impossible for it to be tracked.
He throws out the cup in a nearby trash can, tossing his old phone under the tires of a passing car. He watches it crunch into a hundred shattered pieces with satisfaction.
Then there's nothing left to do but to go home, because he+
He throws out the cup in a nearby trash can, tossing his old phone under the tires of a passing car. He watches it crunch into a hundred shattered pieces with satisfaction.
Then there's nothing left to do but to go home, because he+
already stopped by the supermarket for his other things. They're stuffed in the secret compartment underneath the seat of his motorcycle, practically the only spot where he can store things on his bike.
It's late enough that the streets and sidewalks are packed with all the+
It's late enough that the streets and sidewalks are packed with all the+
people just getting off work. Traffic is at a near-standstill and he's sure the train stations are overflowing.
There is /some/ good in his son stealing his car then, because the driving time is cut nearly in half when he swerves between the stopped cars,steadily making his way+
There is /some/ good in his son stealing his car then, because the driving time is cut nearly in half when he swerves between the stopped cars,steadily making his way+
back home.
Of course,once he hits the residential area, the streets open up, and /maybe/ he shouldn't gun the engine, roaring through the normally quiet neighborhood insanely fast, but it's been a few /long/ weeks, and he needs stress relief.
The danger behind skidding around+
Of course,once he hits the residential area, the streets open up, and /maybe/ he shouldn't gun the engine, roaring through the normally quiet neighborhood insanely fast, but it's been a few /long/ weeks, and he needs stress relief.
The danger behind skidding around+
a corner, having to lean his entire body into it so he doesn't lose control, adrenaline pumping through him like liquid energy--
It makes him feel /alive/ again.
When he gets home--too quickly, his mind whispers, itching to keep going, to keep /driving/-- the garage door is+
It makes him feel /alive/ again.
When he gets home--too quickly, his mind whispers, itching to keep going, to keep /driving/-- the garage door is+
already open.
His car is parked inside, which is great,except it's parked crookedly, close enough that he /barely/ has enough room to get his motorcycle in, and he /left the garage door open/, for god knows how long.
It's like Shuuji's /asking/ to get Dazai's stuff stolen, or+
His car is parked inside, which is great,except it's parked crookedly, close enough that he /barely/ has enough room to get his motorcycle in, and he /left the garage door open/, for god knows how long.
It's like Shuuji's /asking/ to get Dazai's stuff stolen, or+
for someone to notice that Dazai is /not/ like the other people that live in this area.
Granted, he hasn't /told/ Shuuji about his 'job', for many reasons, but he's starting to think that's a mistake, because his son is so absentminded and reckless that he swears it's going to +
Granted, he hasn't /told/ Shuuji about his 'job', for many reasons, but he's starting to think that's a mistake, because his son is so absentminded and reckless that he swears it's going to +
get /him/ caught.
And if some stupid mistake like this gets him caught, when Dazai has been extra careful and evading notice for over /30/ years, he's going to--
Well, he doesn't know what he's going to do, but he's going to be /pissed/.
Heaving an irritated sigh, he parks+
And if some stupid mistake like this gets him caught, when Dazai has been extra careful and evading notice for over /30/ years, he's going to--
Well, he doesn't know what he's going to do, but he's going to be /pissed/.
Heaving an irritated sigh, he parks+
the motorcycle outside, because he's going to have to fix the parking of his car /anyways/ before he can fit them both in the garage without damaging them.
He expects the keys to be on the rack, where they usually are, Shuuji's way of pretending that nothing happened,but they+
He expects the keys to be on the rack, where they usually are, Shuuji's way of pretending that nothing happened,but they+
aren't.
Frustration spikes. Shuuji has only been living with him for the past four months,but /somehow/ he's already exhausted Dazai's admittedly deep well of patience.
Every day he promises himself to be more understanding and patient, but then Shuuji does things like /this/+
Frustration spikes. Shuuji has only been living with him for the past four months,but /somehow/ he's already exhausted Dazai's admittedly deep well of patience.
Every day he promises himself to be more understanding and patient, but then Shuuji does things like /this/+
it just--
It just sends him through the /roof/, because god/damn/ he doesn't have that many expectations or rules, but Shuuji seems /determined/ to ruin every carefully built and maintained aspect of Dazai's life.
He throws open the garage door, stalking inside. The dogs don't+
It just sends him through the /roof/, because god/damn/ he doesn't have that many expectations or rules, but Shuuji seems /determined/ to ruin every carefully built and maintained aspect of Dazai's life.
He throws open the garage door, stalking inside. The dogs don't+
greet him, which means that Shuuji /probably/ shoved them inside their kennels, which defeats the whole /point/ of guard dogs.
He takes the stairs two at a time, storming up quickly, and he /hopes/ his heavy footsteps give Shuuji a jolt of fear and anxiety.
Shuuji's door is+
He takes the stairs two at a time, storming up quickly, and he /hopes/ his heavy footsteps give Shuuji a jolt of fear and anxiety.
Shuuji's door is+
closed, like it usually is. Normally,it doesn't bother Dazai, because he understands the desire for privacy,but today it feels like he's /hiding/.
If it's locked, he swears he's going to kick the damn thing in.
It's not though. The knob gives under his hand when he throws open+
If it's locked, he swears he's going to kick the damn thing in.
It's not though. The knob gives under his hand when he throws open+
the door.
Shuuji is sitting at his desk, playing some inane video game. The voices of his teammates echo faintly from his headphones.
He flinches hard when the door is flung open, reaching up to pull one side of his headphones off his ear, shooting Dazai an affronted look.+
Shuuji is sitting at his desk, playing some inane video game. The voices of his teammates echo faintly from his headphones.
He flinches hard when the door is flung open, reaching up to pull one side of his headphones off his ear, shooting Dazai an affronted look.+
“What the hell, Dad? Haven’t you heard of knocking?”
He /tries/ to keep most of the anger out of his voice, but he fails. “Did you take my car today?”
“What? No?”
If Dazai were his younger self, or if Shuuji were /anyone/ else, he would’ve /shot/ him for daring to lie to his+
He /tries/ to keep most of the anger out of his voice, but he fails. “Did you take my car today?”
“What? No?”
If Dazai were his younger self, or if Shuuji were /anyone/ else, he would’ve /shot/ him for daring to lie to his+
face like that. /Especially/ when he didn’t even cover his tracks well. Does he think Dazai is an /idiot/?
Clenching his teeth so hard his jaw aches, Dazai growls, “don’t lie to me. I know you did. Where are my keys?”
Shuuji honestly looks like he’s going to continue the lie+
Clenching his teeth so hard his jaw aches, Dazai growls, “don’t lie to me. I know you did. Where are my keys?”
Shuuji honestly looks like he’s going to continue the lie+
for a moment, and Dazai is /this/ close to going over there and /throttling/ him—
But then he shifts in his seat as something happens on screen, and his expression sours. Sheepishly, he digs in his back pocket and pulls out Dazai’s keys.
He tosses them to Dazai in a gesture +
But then he shifts in his seat as something happens on screen, and his expression sours. Sheepishly, he digs in his back pocket and pulls out Dazai’s keys.
He tosses them to Dazai in a gesture +
that is /probably/ disrespectful,but Dazai is grateful for it, because if he gets within arm reach of Shuuji right now, he’s going to teach him a lesson in /respect/, mafia style—
He’s not that kind of person anymore, he reminds himself, hanging grimly onto the remaining shreds+
He’s not that kind of person anymore, he reminds himself, hanging grimly onto the remaining shreds+
of his self control.
“Why did you take it? That is literally /the/ only vehicle I said you couldn’t use.” Well, that and his motorcycle, but the last one was specifically tailored for Dazai’s height, and since Shuuji is over a head shorter than he is...
He probably can’t even+
“Why did you take it? That is literally /the/ only vehicle I said you couldn’t use.” Well, that and his motorcycle, but the last one was specifically tailored for Dazai’s height, and since Shuuji is over a head shorter than he is...
He probably can’t even+
get on the thing, to be truthful.
“You weren’t using it.”
Dazai grips the doorway so hard the wood groans under his fingers, threatening to break. He speaks slowly, enunciating each word like that might make his outrage more clear. “I was /out of the country/.”
Shuuji shrugs+
“You weren’t using it.”
Dazai grips the doorway so hard the wood groans under his fingers, threatening to break. He speaks slowly, enunciating each word like that might make his outrage more clear. “I was /out of the country/.”
Shuuji shrugs+
and Dazai is really starting to understand those parents who fly off the handle and destroy their kids devices. This whole time, Shuuji hasn’t even /looked/ at him, and he’s still smashing buttons on his controller, like Dazai is /interrupting/ him. “Besides, it’s the only cool +
car you have, so.”
(There’s a dark, violent part of Dazai, something he thought he buried long ago, that’s whispering that if Shuuji /won’t/ listen, then he can /make/ him. He was feared for a /very/ long time, still is for the most part, and it would not take /much/ to strike+
(There’s a dark, violent part of Dazai, something he thought he buried long ago, that’s whispering that if Shuuji /won’t/ listen, then he can /make/ him. He was feared for a /very/ long time, still is for the most part, and it would not take /much/ to strike+
the fear of /god/ into this insolent child.)
He slaps his hand against the door, hard enough to make Shuuji yelp in surprise, /finally/ turning to look at him.
Dazai smiles with no amusement, cold and lethal. “If you touch my car again, there /will/ be consequences.” +
He slaps his hand against the door, hard enough to make Shuuji yelp in surprise, /finally/ turning to look at him.
Dazai smiles with no amusement, cold and lethal. “If you touch my car again, there /will/ be consequences.” +
He leaves it at that, whirling around and stalking back down the hallway. Truth be told he’s not sure /what/ consequences there will be,because he’s still figuring out the line of discipline he’s allowed to dish out,but hopefully the threat is enough to deter Shuuji for a while.+
Because if he keeps testing Dazai’s patience, one day he’s going to /snap/. He was a /terror/ in his youth when he was angry, and even he’s slightly concerned about what he’d be like /now/, older, wiser, and much more /skilled/.
Heading back down to the garage, he decides to +
Heading back down to the garage, he decides to +
clean the car while he’s moving it around. It’s been overdue for a while, and he’s /sure/ Shuuji has dirtied it a bit anyways.
(He briefly imagines dragging Shuuji down here to clean it himself, but quickly decides against it. He doesn’t want to be close to him and his whining+
(He briefly imagines dragging Shuuji down here to clean it himself, but quickly decides against it. He doesn’t want to be close to him and his whining+
right now. Plus, he’d probably have to clean up after him anyways, because Shuuji’s cleaning /sucks/.
Dazai knows. He’s seen his room. He’s seen the same pair of dirty underwear wedged underneath his bed for the past 6 weeks.)
So, after parking the car /correctly/, he goes +
Dazai knows. He’s seen his room. He’s seen the same pair of dirty underwear wedged underneath his bed for the past 6 weeks.)
So, after parking the car /correctly/, he goes +
about taking all the weapons out, placing them in a half-circle carefully sorted by size.
He runs his fingers over them, carefully assessing them. They’re all clean, untouched, meticulously maintained by himself. Nothing worse than a jammed gun in the middle of a firefight.
+
He runs his fingers over them, carefully assessing them. They’re all clean, untouched, meticulously maintained by himself. Nothing worse than a jammed gun in the middle of a firefight.
+
Then he moves onto the interior. It’s surprisingly clean, with only a few pieces of trash that are easily thrown away. There’s a few crumbs that need to be vacuumed up and...
A wallet, wedged between the passenger seat and the door, halfway under the seat.
Dazai pulls it out,+
A wallet, wedged between the passenger seat and the door, halfway under the seat.
Dazai pulls it out,+
frowning. He doesn’t recognize the wallet at all.
Granted, he doesn’t know /everyone/ Shuji hangs out with, but the wallet doesn’t belong to any of the usual suspects. Yuan’s wallet is just as pink as her hair, and surprisingly thick despite the fact that she never seems to +
Granted, he doesn’t know /everyone/ Shuji hangs out with, but the wallet doesn’t belong to any of the usual suspects. Yuan’s wallet is just as pink as her hair, and surprisingly thick despite the fact that she never seems to +
carry anything she uses regularly.
He’s pretty sure Shirase doesn’t even /own/ a wallet and instead just shoves everything in his pockets and socks like the wild child he is.
Shuuji’s wallet is a lot newer and /nicer/ than this one.
So...who?
He flips it open, and the first+
He’s pretty sure Shirase doesn’t even /own/ a wallet and instead just shoves everything in his pockets and socks like the wild child he is.
Shuuji’s wallet is a lot newer and /nicer/ than this one.
So...who?
He flips it open, and the first+
thing he sees on the inside flap is a student ID.
NAME: NAKAHARA CHUUYA
STUDENT ID: A5158
MAJOR: ENGINEERING.
The picture is... unflattering, as all school photos are. A thick head of bright red hair, all pushed behind his ears to expose his forehead. He’s smiling, but it+
NAME: NAKAHARA CHUUYA
STUDENT ID: A5158
MAJOR: ENGINEERING.
The picture is... unflattering, as all school photos are. A thick head of bright red hair, all pushed behind his ears to expose his forehead. He’s smiling, but it+
looks more like a forced grimace. He’s wearing a red jacket that makes his blue eyes pop.
All in all, he looks like he was forced to take this picture but...
Dazai runs a finger over his face. He’s cute, in a young, naïve sort of way. And the way he’s almost-glaring at the+
All in all, he looks like he was forced to take this picture but...
Dazai runs a finger over his face. He’s cute, in a young, naïve sort of way. And the way he’s almost-glaring at the+
camera is endearing.
On the other side, half-hidden in one of the pockets, is a faded Polaroid. It’s a picture of a family, clearly taken a few years ago.
In it,one of the chubbiest and grumpiest toddlers Dazai has /ever/ seen is being held in the arms of who is presumably his+
On the other side, half-hidden in one of the pockets, is a faded Polaroid. It’s a picture of a family, clearly taken a few years ago.
In it,one of the chubbiest and grumpiest toddlers Dazai has /ever/ seen is being held in the arms of who is presumably his+
father. The toddler has a fistful of long dark hair, pulling harshly.
On either side are two girls, both looking /completely/ unaware of the toddler vs parent fight happening in the middle, grinning widely and showing off their Mickey Mouse ears.
A baby picture of Chuuya+
On either side are two girls, both looking /completely/ unaware of the toddler vs parent fight happening in the middle, grinning widely and showing off their Mickey Mouse ears.
A baby picture of Chuuya+
then, because that red hair and baby blue eyes are unmistakable even then, and his family.
Dazai’s lip twitches upward, amused. Cute little thing.
He folds up the wallet, shoving it into the pocket of his jacket. He’s always made a habit of meeting as many of Shuuji’s friends+
Dazai’s lip twitches upward, amused. Cute little thing.
He folds up the wallet, shoving it into the pocket of his jacket. He’s always made a habit of meeting as many of Shuuji’s friends+
as possible. His son is one bad influence away from ending up in the local jail, so he tries to head off any degenerates before they sink their teeth in.
As he finishes cleaning, he finds himself wondering:
What kind of person is Nakahara Chuuya? When will he meet him?+
As he finishes cleaning, he finds himself wondering:
What kind of person is Nakahara Chuuya? When will he meet him?+
———
The next afternoon, barely 2pm, sees Chuuya /frantic/.
He’s supposed to buy his books today, because he has assignments due on the first day of class (totally unfair, by the way).The good thing though is that, because of his scholarship, he doesn’t have to buy them himself.+
The next afternoon, barely 2pm, sees Chuuya /frantic/.
He’s supposed to buy his books today, because he has assignments due on the first day of class (totally unfair, by the way).The good thing though is that, because of his scholarship, he doesn’t have to buy them himself.+
All he needs is his school ID to prove that he’s, you know, himself, and boom, free books.
All he needs is his school ID. Which is in his wallet. The wallet that he /cannot/ find.
He’s looked everywhere! In his jacket, his jeans, under his bed, in his backpack, even in the+
All he needs is his school ID. Which is in his wallet. The wallet that he /cannot/ find.
He’s looked everywhere! In his jacket, his jeans, under his bed, in his backpack, even in the+
fucking lost and found. It’s nowhere to be found.
And unless a few thousand yen magically appears in his back pocket—
He can’t get his books anytime soon. It takes at /least/ 3 days to order a new school ID, and by /then/, he’ll already be behind—
His phone dings. An incoming+
And unless a few thousand yen magically appears in his back pocket—
He can’t get his books anytime soon. It takes at /least/ 3 days to order a new school ID, and by /then/, he’ll already be behind—
His phone dings. An incoming+
text.
Chuuya checks it out of habit, just to make sure it’s not his dad or his sisters (who like to /text/ in emergencies, which has never and will never make sense to him.)
It’s Shuuji.
And then—
Then Chuuya realizes that there is /one/ place he hasn’t managed to look.+
Chuuya checks it out of habit, just to make sure it’s not his dad or his sisters (who like to /text/ in emergencies, which has never and will never make sense to him.)
It’s Shuuji.
And then—
Then Chuuya realizes that there is /one/ place he hasn’t managed to look.+
The /car/.
He scrambles to open the message, hope stirring in his chest. It has to be in the car. That’s the only place it /could/ be.
(Or on the train, his anxiety reminds him. In which case, he’s /screwed/.)
SHUUJI: wut r u wearing ? ;)
...What? It’s /two/ in the +
He scrambles to open the message, hope stirring in his chest. It has to be in the car. That’s the only place it /could/ be.
(Or on the train, his anxiety reminds him. In which case, he’s /screwed/.)
SHUUJI: wut r u wearing ? ;)
...What? It’s /two/ in the +
afternoon, what does he /think/ he’s wearing? A nightgown? A helicopter hat?
CHUUYA: jeans.
CHUUYA: hey, did you find a wallet in your car yesterday? I can’t find mine :(
The two minutes he spends waiting for a response is pure torture.
SHUUJI: no I didn’t see 1
+
CHUUYA: jeans.
CHUUYA: hey, did you find a wallet in your car yesterday? I can’t find mine :(
The two minutes he spends waiting for a response is pure torture.
SHUUJI: no I didn’t see 1
+
No, no, /please/ no—
Another text.
SHUUJI: but I can help u look in da car ;)
Does... does that mean he didn’t actually /look/ in the car? Is there still hope?
(There is /not/ hope for Chuuya’s brain cells, because he can feel them dying a slow death trying to read +
Another text.
SHUUJI: but I can help u look in da car ;)
Does... does that mean he didn’t actually /look/ in the car? Is there still hope?
(There is /not/ hope for Chuuya’s brain cells, because he can feel them dying a slow death trying to read +
Shuuji’s chat speak.)
CHUUYA: yes pls :( I really need it for school. I’d owe you a lot!! 🥺
SHUUJI: hehe ya. I’ll cum pick u up soon
Oh thank /god/, and every single of one of his ugly little angels.
CHUUYA: thank you! You’re the best
SHUUJI: ik
Because he has nothing+
CHUUYA: yes pls :( I really need it for school. I’d owe you a lot!! 🥺
SHUUJI: hehe ya. I’ll cum pick u up soon
Oh thank /god/, and every single of one of his ugly little angels.
CHUUYA: thank you! You’re the best
SHUUJI: ik
Because he has nothing+
to do except /wait/— he’s already done his registrations for class, and checked out the local Kendo club— he shoves his shoes on his feet and goes to wait outside on a bench.
Foot tapping anxiously, he starts up some stupid game on his phone and waits for a text.
Twenty +
Foot tapping anxiously, he starts up some stupid game on his phone and waits for a text.
Twenty +
minutes later, his game is interrupted by a text.
SHUUJI: I here where u
Chuuya looks around. He doesn’t see a car he recognizes and he doesn’t see Shuuji anywhere around.
CHUUYA: bench outside the dorms. Where are you?
SHUUJI: cum same place as last night
Okay, easy +
SHUUJI: I here where u
Chuuya looks around. He doesn’t see a car he recognizes and he doesn’t see Shuuji anywhere around.
CHUUYA: bench outside the dorms. Where are you?
SHUUJI: cum same place as last night
Okay, easy +
enough. That’s not far.
Chuuya jogs over, looking around for the car but—
He still doesn’t see it. He’s about to pull out his phone to text again, or to call, when the window rolls down on a nearby car.
Shuuji leans out, grinning smugly. “Miss me that much, darling?” +
Chuuya jogs over, looking around for the car but—
He still doesn’t see it. He’s about to pull out his phone to text again, or to call, when the window rolls down on a nearby car.
Shuuji leans out, grinning smugly. “Miss me that much, darling?” +
The car he’s driving today is still nice, shiny and relatively new, but it’s not /nearly/ the same quality as the car he was driving yesterday.
/That/ one was sleek, unique, obviously customized with a lot of money.
/This/ one looks like the car every moderately successful+
/That/ one was sleek, unique, obviously customized with a lot of money.
/This/ one looks like the car every moderately successful+
businessman in Japan owns.
But hey, who is Chuuya to judge? He certainly doesn’t have a car, and the family car back home was bought secondhand and is a few years old now.
He slides into the passenger seat, breathless. “Thanks for coming. I’m sorry to bother you like this.” +
But hey, who is Chuuya to judge? He certainly doesn’t have a car, and the family car back home was bought secondhand and is a few years old now.
He slides into the passenger seat, breathless. “Thanks for coming. I’m sorry to bother you like this.” +
Shuuji waves him off, cutting off another car as he swerves back into traffic. “You’ll make it up to me, darling.”
That sounds /slightly/ ominous, and the repeated nickname makes him feel a little /weird/,like he’s less of a person and more of a /thing/ but—
It’s probably just+
That sounds /slightly/ ominous, and the repeated nickname makes him feel a little /weird/,like he’s less of a person and more of a /thing/ but—
It’s probably just+
his residual anxiety and panic making things /weird/. This is /normal/, he’s just being weird.
Chuuya changes the subject. “Do you live far?”
Shuuji throws him a sly side glance, arrogance radiating off him. “Not that far. Don’t be too impatient, I’ll get you there as soon as+
Chuuya changes the subject. “Do you live far?”
Shuuji throws him a sly side glance, arrogance radiating off him. “Not that far. Don’t be too impatient, I’ll get you there as soon as+
I can.”
It’s not that Chuuya is /impatient/, he’s just worried. He only has until the end of the business day to get his books, and if his wallet /isn’t/ in Shuuji’s other car, then he has to submit his application for a new ID as soon as possible.
He only has three or four+
It’s not that Chuuya is /impatient/, he’s just worried. He only has until the end of the business day to get his books, and if his wallet /isn’t/ in Shuuji’s other car, then he has to submit his application for a new ID as soon as possible.
He only has three or four+
hours to figure the whole situation out.
But he pushes that feeling down, smiling slightly. He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful or rude or pushy—
He just needs his wallet, and Shuuji said he’ll help him out as fast as possible, so he just needs to calm down and /wait/. +
But he pushes that feeling down, smiling slightly. He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful or rude or pushy—
He just needs his wallet, and Shuuji said he’ll help him out as fast as possible, so he just needs to calm down and /wait/. +
“Did Nikolai or the others tell you anything about me? After I left?”
Chuuya frowns. “No? Yuan and Shirase left right after you did, and I just studied for the rest of the night.”
The last part isn’t true, but how is Chuuya supposed to tell him that he spent the night +
Chuuya frowns. “No? Yuan and Shirase left right after you did, and I just studied for the rest of the night.”
The last part isn’t true, but how is Chuuya supposed to tell him that he spent the night +
oscillating between a weird sense of violation and discomfort,and being embarrassed over his behavior?
Shuuji nods, and he takes a right turn at twice the speed he’s supposed to. “Okay, good.”
Chuuya grits his teeth,hanging onto the handle above the door with all his strength.+
Shuuji nods, and he takes a right turn at twice the speed he’s supposed to. “Okay, good.”
Chuuya grits his teeth,hanging onto the handle above the door with all his strength.+
He’s not one for carsickness, but his stomach rolls at every rough movement.
He hopes the ride is over soon. He’s already dreading the return drive.
Shuuji quickly climbs into the residential area, and once he’s on a mostly open road, he seems to take the speed limits and +
He hopes the ride is over soon. He’s already dreading the return drive.
Shuuji quickly climbs into the residential area, and once he’s on a mostly open road, he seems to take the speed limits and +
the warnings as /suggestions/.
Speed itself is fine, but Shuuji is swerving onto both sides of the road, checking his phone, barely breaking or moving over for a biker and Chuuya /really/ does not want to die in a car crash.
“Can you—,” god, he feels /so/ rude even saying +
Speed itself is fine, but Shuuji is swerving onto both sides of the road, checking his phone, barely breaking or moving over for a biker and Chuuya /really/ does not want to die in a car crash.
“Can you—,” god, he feels /so/ rude even saying +
this, “slow down, please?”
Shuuji laughs at him. “Aww, is the little baby scared?” He mocks, pressing harder on the gas.
Yeah, he is. /Terrified/.
Clearly god is looking down on them, because they arrive at Shuuji’s house unscathed and in one piece.
Barely waiting for the+
Shuuji laughs at him. “Aww, is the little baby scared?” He mocks, pressing harder on the gas.
Yeah, he is. /Terrified/.
Clearly god is looking down on them, because they arrive at Shuuji’s house unscathed and in one piece.
Barely waiting for the+
car to stop fully, Chuuya stumbles out. It’s only been another twenty minutes, but he feels like he should be kissing the ground in gratefulness.
He catches his breath for a second, soothing his racing heart, before looking up—
/Holy shit/.
The house is /huge/. Beautiful, +
He catches his breath for a second, soothing his racing heart, before looking up—
/Holy shit/.
The house is /huge/. Beautiful, +
with two stories and a long balcony lined with glass railing. It’s western style, with a long paved path leading to a large, single door.
The path even has tiny /torches/ lining it.
Obviously, Chuuya knew Shuuji came from money, but seeing the evidence again, it really hits +
The path even has tiny /torches/ lining it.
Obviously, Chuuya knew Shuuji came from money, but seeing the evidence again, it really hits +
again that—
Shuuji is completely and utterly out of his league. It feels like a /dream/ just to be standing here, on imported fucking gravel, in front of a massive house. It even has a /fenced yard/ in the back.
Shuuji rounds the car, looking smug as he takes in Chuuya’s +
Shuuji is completely and utterly out of his league. It feels like a /dream/ just to be standing here, on imported fucking gravel, in front of a massive house. It even has a /fenced yard/ in the back.
Shuuji rounds the car, looking smug as he takes in Chuuya’s +
reaction. “Come on, darling. The car is in the garage.”
He leads the way up the pathway, and Chuuya stumbles behind him, feeling /dirty/ in his thrifted shoes.
“Give me a second,” Shuuji says, reaching for the door handle, “the dogs are loose, and they’re /crazy/. I’ll just +
He leads the way up the pathway, and Chuuya stumbles behind him, feeling /dirty/ in his thrifted shoes.
“Give me a second,” Shuuji says, reaching for the door handle, “the dogs are loose, and they’re /crazy/. I’ll just +
put them away and then come back to get you—“
Then he opens the door, widely, /not/ like someone who’s worried about his crazy dogs, and—
Out come bounding two /giant/ fluff balls, fur standing on end.
Shuuji backpedals rapidly, stammering, “hey! No! Bad dog!”
Chuuya is +
Then he opens the door, widely, /not/ like someone who’s worried about his crazy dogs, and—
Out come bounding two /giant/ fluff balls, fur standing on end.
Shuuji backpedals rapidly, stammering, “hey! No! Bad dog!”
Chuuya is +
frozen in place, locked in a staring contest with the /biggest/ dog Chuuya has ever seen.
Big, fluffy, with clearly defined muscles under its brown and white fur. A long tail curling over it’s back, and a truly intimidating set of teeth.
Does he run? No, that sounds like +
Big, fluffy, with clearly defined muscles under its brown and white fur. A long tail curling over it’s back, and a truly intimidating set of teeth.
Does he run? No, that sounds like +
he’ll get chased.
Does he move forward? No, that sounds /aggressive./
His father told him to scare any dogs that tried to attack him off but, this dog looks like it could take down a /bear/. It’s /half/ as tall as Chuuya is!
Not knowing what to do, Chuuya stands his ground +
Does he move forward? No, that sounds /aggressive./
His father told him to scare any dogs that tried to attack him off but, this dog looks like it could take down a /bear/. It’s /half/ as tall as Chuuya is!
Not knowing what to do, Chuuya stands his ground +
shakily, meekly offering the back of his hand for the dog to sniff—
The dog, hackles raised, stalks forward fo smell him.
Chuuya is mentally preparing himself for a life without his fingers, or maybe his entire hand when—
The dog, satisfied, /licks/ his hand. +
The dog, hackles raised, stalks forward fo smell him.
Chuuya is mentally preparing himself for a life without his fingers, or maybe his entire hand when—
The dog, satisfied, /licks/ his hand. +
Warm fur is suddenly under his hand as the dog pushes forward, seemingly impatient with Chuuya’s lack of petting.
His fingers flex automatically, scratching at the soft dark ears. The dog seems to /like/ that, pushing forward for more, so heavily that Chuuya has to stumble back+
His fingers flex automatically, scratching at the soft dark ears. The dog seems to /like/ that, pushing forward for more, so heavily that Chuuya has to stumble back+
to keep his balance.
The other dog, this one more of a sandy brown, comes up to see what all the commotion is about. Chuuya is less hesitant with that one, calmly offering his hand—
And nearly gets /bowled/ over when the dog enthusiastically jumps at him, demanding pets.+
The other dog, this one more of a sandy brown, comes up to see what all the commotion is about. Chuuya is less hesitant with that one, calmly offering his hand—
And nearly gets /bowled/ over when the dog enthusiastically jumps at him, demanding pets.+
Chuuya ends up crouched, one hand on each dog, frantically trying to satisfy them as they present him with more scratching spots. Their ears, their fluffy butts,and In the sandy one’s case—their soft warm bellies.
“Aww,” Chuuya coos,squishing the face of the larger one, “you’re+
“Aww,” Chuuya coos,squishing the face of the larger one, “you’re+
not crazy. You’re /cute/.”
The dog lets him, tongue lolling out of its mouth and looking absolutely /blissful/ at all the attention.
There’s a dark leather collar around it’s neck, and Chuuya reaches for the charm hanging from it.
‘KOZO’ it reads, in engraved letters.+
The dog lets him, tongue lolling out of its mouth and looking absolutely /blissful/ at all the attention.
There’s a dark leather collar around it’s neck, and Chuuya reaches for the charm hanging from it.
‘KOZO’ it reads, in engraved letters.+
“Nice to meet you, Kozo,” Chuuya murmurs, giving him a nice scratch on his ear. His tail thumps loudly behind him.
“And you?” He reaches for the collar on the other dog, a pink studded one. The dog lets him, lifting it’s legs so Chuuya can scratch at it’s chest.
‘YOKO’ is this+
“And you?” He reaches for the collar on the other dog, a pink studded one. The dog lets him, lifting it’s legs so Chuuya can scratch at it’s chest.
‘YOKO’ is this+
one’s name.
“You’re very cute,” Chuuya informs her, scratching at just the /right/ spot to make her back leg kick wildly at the air.
He’s never been around a lot of animals, but they’ve always liked him. It makes pride and happiness swell in his chest that the ‘crazy dogs’+
“You’re very cute,” Chuuya informs her, scratching at just the /right/ spot to make her back leg kick wildly at the air.
He’s never been around a lot of animals, but they’ve always liked him. It makes pride and happiness swell in his chest that the ‘crazy dogs’+
like him enough to show him their bellies.
And they’re so /nice/ to pet, plush and soft like a living teddy bear and Chuuya wants to take them /home/.
For a moment, he wonders what the hell Shuuji was talking about because the dogs are /not/ crazy. Overenthusiastic, maybe, +
And they’re so /nice/ to pet, plush and soft like a living teddy bear and Chuuya wants to take them /home/.
For a moment, he wonders what the hell Shuuji was talking about because the dogs are /not/ crazy. Overenthusiastic, maybe, +
and overenergetic.
But crazy? No.
Until—
Shuuji creeps closer again, and suddenly Yoko is flipping over onto her belly, her happy panting devolving into a low, rumbling growl.
It’s not /aggressive/ per se, and she doesn’t move to get up but it’s clearly a /warning./+
But crazy? No.
Until—
Shuuji creeps closer again, and suddenly Yoko is flipping over onto her belly, her happy panting devolving into a low, rumbling growl.
It’s not /aggressive/ per se, and she doesn’t move to get up but it’s clearly a /warning./+
Shuuji snarls at them, kicking at the air. “Stupid fucking dogs—.”
Chuuya opens his mouth to tell him that they’re /not/ stupid, they’re just /dogs—
But then a voice from the house, smooth and low and dripping like melted caramel over every one of Chuuya’s senses speaks up. +
Chuuya opens his mouth to tell him that they’re /not/ stupid, they’re just /dogs—
But then a voice from the house, smooth and low and dripping like melted caramel over every one of Chuuya’s senses speaks up. +
"/They're/ not stupid," it says, with just a hint of a condescending undertone.
Chuuya looks up, curious at who /else/ is here, because Shuuji hasn't mentioned anyone else--
And his world screeches to a halt.
All those /oh/ moments you hear about? Overexaggerated. Overstated.+
Chuuya looks up, curious at who /else/ is here, because Shuuji hasn't mentioned anyone else--
And his world screeches to a halt.
All those /oh/ moments you hear about? Overexaggerated. Overstated.+
Pale imitations of the /real/ moment that Chuuya is experiencing right now:
/Oh. My. God./
His first impression is tall, /so/ fucking tall, he takes up the entire doorway, all broad shoulders and deliciously thick thighs under a dark pair of jeans.
His second impression, and +
/Oh. My. God./
His first impression is tall, /so/ fucking tall, he takes up the entire doorway, all broad shoulders and deliciously thick thighs under a dark pair of jeans.
His second impression, and +
this is the one that will /haunt/ him later, for all of his sleepless nights to come, are his /eyes/.
Big, line with thick lashes, and /god/ the way the light hits them makes them look like liquid sunlight, warm and honeyed--
And fixed on him, with the sort of steady +
Big, line with thick lashes, and /god/ the way the light hits them makes them look like liquid sunlight, warm and honeyed--
And fixed on him, with the sort of steady +
relentless that makes Chuuya shiver.
And while he couldn't seem to look at Shuuji earlier, when they met,now he can't seem to look /away/.
He feels like he's being sucked in,magnetized, helpless to resist the leather jacket, the dark hair.
Who is he?
(Is he single, Chuuya's+
And while he couldn't seem to look at Shuuji earlier, when they met,now he can't seem to look /away/.
He feels like he's being sucked in,magnetized, helpless to resist the leather jacket, the dark hair.
Who is he?
(Is he single, Chuuya's+
addled mind helpfully contributes.)
"Oh. I didn't know you were home, dad."
/Dad/. Not 'brother', or 'uncle',or even 'stranger in my home that I do not know'.
(Chuuya is a firm believer that /some/ crimes can be forgiven,when they look like /that/.)
But /dad/. As in father.+
"Oh. I didn't know you were home, dad."
/Dad/. Not 'brother', or 'uncle',or even 'stranger in my home that I do not know'.
(Chuuya is a firm believer that /some/ crimes can be forgiven,when they look like /that/.)
But /dad/. As in father.+
As in...way older than Chuuya.
...Did Shuuji ever mention his mother? Chuuya doesn't remember.
Then he speaks again, and Chuuya feels like his /heart/ is throbbing in time with his voice. "I was just heading out. Who is this?"
Even though he's speaking to Shuuji, he doesn't+
...Did Shuuji ever mention his mother? Chuuya doesn't remember.
Then he speaks again, and Chuuya feels like his /heart/ is throbbing in time with his voice. "I was just heading out. Who is this?"
Even though he's speaking to Shuuji, he doesn't+
look away from Chuuya from even a second, examining closely the way his hands are still buried in the dogs fur and scratching.
Part of Chuuya feels pinned by that gaze, like prey within pouncing range of a predator. The /other/ part of him is preening under it, tilting his chin+
Part of Chuuya feels pinned by that gaze, like prey within pouncing range of a predator. The /other/ part of him is preening under it, tilting his chin+
to look at him better, knowing that his eyes look /extra/ blue from this angle.
"Dad, Nakahara Chuuya. Chuuya, Dazai Osamu."
The slow smile that grows on Dazai's face is like watching the sun rise over the mountains, transforming the sharp lines of his face into something +
"Dad, Nakahara Chuuya. Chuuya, Dazai Osamu."
The slow smile that grows on Dazai's face is like watching the sun rise over the mountains, transforming the sharp lines of his face into something +
softer, sweeter, younger.
He doesn't /look/ old, of course,but his smile is boyish, mischievous, the sort of thing you see in your dreams or on TV shows. Like he knows something you don't know, and Chuuya /wants/ to know.
Wants to know /everything/.
"Ah. I was wondering when+
He doesn't /look/ old, of course,but his smile is boyish, mischievous, the sort of thing you see in your dreams or on TV shows. Like he knows something you don't know, and Chuuya /wants/ to know.
Wants to know /everything/.
"Ah. I was wondering when+
I'd meet you."
Chuuya grips Kozo's neck to keep himself from doing anything embarrassingt,like swooning.He was /waiting/? To meet /him/?
...He should've brushed his teeth before he left the dorms. And his hair.Hell, he should've thrown on makeup and a whole new outfit, because+
Chuuya grips Kozo's neck to keep himself from doing anything embarrassingt,like swooning.He was /waiting/? To meet /him/?
...He should've brushed his teeth before he left the dorms. And his hair.Hell, he should've thrown on makeup and a whole new outfit, because+
his clothes are /not/ what he would've wanted to be wearing to meet... him.
He clears his throat, fighting to keep his voice controlled. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm here because I--."
"Forgot something?" Dazai finishes, eyebrow arching. When he sees Chuuya's confused +
He clears his throat, fighting to keep his voice controlled. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm here because I--."
"Forgot something?" Dazai finishes, eyebrow arching. When he sees Chuuya's confused +
look, he reaches for his back pocket.
His shirt, a dark blue, stretches across his chest as he does, briefly outlining what are /deliciously/ defined pectoral muscles and what /might/ be a hint of abs.
(That might be just Chuuya's horny brain taking the information he's been +
His shirt, a dark blue, stretches across his chest as he does, briefly outlining what are /deliciously/ defined pectoral muscles and what /might/ be a hint of abs.
(That might be just Chuuya's horny brain taking the information he's been +
given and /running/ with it, because there's nothing more than Chuuya wants than to meet those abs up close and personal now--.)
Dazai pulls out something small and black, waving it at him.
His /wallet/.
Relief fills him so quickly that he nearly staggers with it. All of his+
Dazai pulls out something small and black, waving it at him.
His /wallet/.
Relief fills him so quickly that he nearly staggers with it. All of his+
problems are solved. His wallet has been hand delivered to him by the most gorgeous person he has ever seen.
Everything is right in the world.
"Thank you! That's mine," he says, standing up.Kozo noses at his hands for more pets, but he pushes him away for now.
"I know it is."+
Everything is right in the world.
"Thank you! That's mine," he says, standing up.Kozo noses at his hands for more pets, but he pushes him away for now.
"I know it is."+
Dazai responds, sounding amused. He holds out the wallet, offering it to him.
Part of him is expecting Dazai to crowd him passive-aggressively, getting up in his space with little regard to boundaries. Shuuji has been chasing Chuuya hard, almost like he's /hunting/ him, and +
Part of him is expecting Dazai to crowd him passive-aggressively, getting up in his space with little regard to boundaries. Shuuji has been chasing Chuuya hard, almost like he's /hunting/ him, and +
it wouldn't be surprising if Dazai was like that too.
Not that Chuuya would mind having /him/ in his personal space, but there's something inherently intimidating and discomforting about being pushed like that.
But he doesn't. No, he just stands there, offering the wallet +
Not that Chuuya would mind having /him/ in his personal space, but there's something inherently intimidating and discomforting about being pushed like that.
But he doesn't. No, he just stands there, offering the wallet +
silently.
Letting Chuuya come to him.
Something about that, the way he's not being /pressured/, makes Chuuya /want/ to step out of his comfort zone, walking up to Dazai like it's nothing.
Dazai watches him, and at the /last/ second, when Chuuya is reaching for his wallet, he+
Letting Chuuya come to him.
Something about that, the way he's not being /pressured/, makes Chuuya /want/ to step out of his comfort zone, walking up to Dazai like it's nothing.
Dazai watches him, and at the /last/ second, when Chuuya is reaching for his wallet, he+
flicks it up, just out of his reach.
"You should be careful with your things, doll. You never know what kind of...unsavory characters might find them," he purrs, and /this/ close,his voice is all encompassing, vibrating down Chuuya's spine and settling somewhere in his stomach.+
"You should be careful with your things, doll. You never know what kind of...unsavory characters might find them," he purrs, and /this/ close,his voice is all encompassing, vibrating down Chuuya's spine and settling somewhere in his stomach.+
If losing his wallet means he gets to see people like Dazai, he's going to attach a fishing lure to it next time.
He doesn't /say/ that, though, because he does have /some/ self-control and decency. He nods, doing his best to look sheepish. "Right. I will."
Dazai's eyes feel +
He doesn't /say/ that, though, because he does have /some/ self-control and decency. He nods, doing his best to look sheepish. "Right. I will."
Dazai's eyes feel +
burning brands on his skin, touching on his eyes, his /mouth/, his cheeks, which are starting to /burn/--
Is that the hint of a dimple in Dazai's growing smile? Not even two, but just /one/, on his leftside, /adorably/ lopsided, uneven but /so/ beautiful?
Seemingly satisfied,+
Is that the hint of a dimple in Dazai's growing smile? Not even two, but just /one/, on his leftside, /adorably/ lopsided, uneven but /so/ beautiful?
Seemingly satisfied,+
Dazai drops the wallet into his palm.
Curling his fingers around it, he uses the warm (warm from being in Dazai's /back pocket/, his mind is quick to remind him) leather to ground himself. "Thank you," he murmurs again, because he's not sure what else to /say/.
Not for the+
Curling his fingers around it, he uses the warm (warm from being in Dazai's /back pocket/, his mind is quick to remind him) leather to ground himself. "Thank you," he murmurs again, because he's not sure what else to /say/.
Not for the+
first time,he wishes he was like those suave, charming characters that he reads about. It makes him /mad/ that he ends up like this,but he doesn't know what to /say/ and his tongue is thick in his mouth.
He doesn't want to seem like some shy boy, or someone childish. Now, more+
He doesn't want to seem like some shy boy, or someone childish. Now, more+
than ever, he wants to seem...
He doesn't even /know/. Cool? Charming? Funny? Cute?
Definitely something /other/ than just Shuuji's friend he brought home.
"So polite," Dazai teases, fingers ghosting over Chuuya's wrist and drawing his attention.
His voice is approving, and
He doesn't even /know/. Cool? Charming? Funny? Cute?
Definitely something /other/ than just Shuuji's friend he brought home.
"So polite," Dazai teases, fingers ghosting over Chuuya's wrist and drawing his attention.
His voice is approving, and
filled with subtle pride.
That breaks through the knot of anxiety and self-consciousness beginning to curl in Chuuya's chest, just for a moment. He can't help the big smile, because the idea that Dazai /likes/ him, even a little bit, makes him feel so fucking happy and warm.+
That breaks through the knot of anxiety and self-consciousness beginning to curl in Chuuya's chest, just for a moment. He can't help the big smile, because the idea that Dazai /likes/ him, even a little bit, makes him feel so fucking happy and warm.+
His entire life has been filled with exceptionally high expectations, and as soon as he reaches /one/, there's always another goal set in front of him. An endless parade of exhaustion, always striving to reach higher and farther, until eventually he gets to a point he can't /do/+
it anymore, and he inevitably fails, or cracks under the pressure.
There's always something /more/ expected of him.
But here, now?
All he had to do was say thank you,and Dazai is smiling at him like he just aced the quiz.
Maybe he's reading too much into it. He probably /is/+
There's always something /more/ expected of him.
But here, now?
All he had to do was say thank you,and Dazai is smiling at him like he just aced the quiz.
Maybe he's reading too much into it. He probably /is/+
but he's had a /confusing/ few days, and he's going to soak up whatever happiness he can get, wherever he can get it.
Naturally, that's the moment when the moment is broken.
"Can you put the dogs up before you go? They're being jerks again."
Unwittingly, Chuuya sighs heavily+
Naturally, that's the moment when the moment is broken.
"Can you put the dogs up before you go? They're being jerks again."
Unwittingly, Chuuya sighs heavily+
at Shuuji's interruption. To be truthful, he'd /mostly/ forgotten he was there...
Watching Chuuya flirt with his...dad.
Embarrassment and a strange sense of /guilt/ bursts over Chuuya,completely ruining whatever good thing he had going.
Shuuji is interested in him--he thinks,+
Watching Chuuya flirt with his...dad.
Embarrassment and a strange sense of /guilt/ bursts over Chuuya,completely ruining whatever good thing he had going.
Shuuji is interested in him--he thinks,+
at least--and it only took one look and conversation with his /dad/ for Chuuya to get distracted.
He doesn't even know if he /likes/ Shuuji, because he's overbearing but he is cute--or was, until Chuuya met Dazai-- but this feels like...
Betrayal. Or just plain /weird/ because+
He doesn't even know if he /likes/ Shuuji, because he's overbearing but he is cute--or was, until Chuuya met Dazai-- but this feels like...
Betrayal. Or just plain /weird/ because+
honestly /who/ is attracted to dads?
Granted, most dads do /not/ look like Dazai in Chuuya's experience, but the sentiment remains the same.
Now he feels /gross./
Dazai frowns lightly, and he /looks/ like he wants to say something, or maybe reach out for Chuuya again. He +
Granted, most dads do /not/ look like Dazai in Chuuya's experience, but the sentiment remains the same.
Now he feels /gross./
Dazai frowns lightly, and he /looks/ like he wants to say something, or maybe reach out for Chuuya again. He +
doesn't though, finally shifting his gaze from Chuuya's face. "No. They can't do their jobs when they're in their kennels. Don't mess with them, and they won't mess with you."
Shuuji scowls, opening his mouth to say something in response, but Dazai cuts him off again. "Besides,+
Shuuji scowls, opening his mouth to say something in response, but Dazai cuts him off again. "Besides,+
they seem to like Chuuya just fine."
He smiles lightly at that, patting his thigh to get the dogs attention. They come right away, panting around his legs and rubbing against him.
(Is it Chuuya's imagination, or does Yoko put herself squarely between him and Shuuji and /stays/+
He smiles lightly at that, patting his thigh to get the dogs attention. They come right away, panting around his legs and rubbing against him.
(Is it Chuuya's imagination, or does Yoko put herself squarely between him and Shuuji and /stays/+
there?)
Dazai watches that with an interested look in his eye, like he's witnessing something he hasn't seen before. "I won't be gone long, anyways."
Shuuji doesn't have anything to say to /that/, choosing instead of push inside the house with little regard to Dazai.
His dad+
Dazai watches that with an interested look in his eye, like he's witnessing something he hasn't seen before. "I won't be gone long, anyways."
Shuuji doesn't have anything to say to /that/, choosing instead of push inside the house with little regard to Dazai.
His dad+
doesn't bat an eye, which makes Chuuya feel a /little/ bit better, in a weird way. At least Shuuji's attitude isn't because of Chuuya personally.
Then he's looking at Chuuya again, expression open. "I'm sorry; I'd give you the grand tour, but I do have to go."
Chuuya waves him+
Then he's looking at Chuuya again, expression open. "I'm sorry; I'd give you the grand tour, but I do have to go."
Chuuya waves him+
off. "Don't worry about it. You weren't expecting me, and I'm sure Shuuji will show me around."
Something about that seems to make Dazai nervous, his eyes flicking over his face. He frowns a little, looking hesitant and like he wants to /say/ something.
Eventually, he just+
Something about that seems to make Dazai nervous, his eyes flicking over his face. He frowns a little, looking hesitant and like he wants to /say/ something.
Eventually, he just+
sighs again, pushing off the doorframe. He looks oddly serious as he says, "Be safe, okay?"
Chuuya nods, confused. He's in the rich neighborhood with a pair of supposedly vicious guard dogs. What could happen?
Then Dazai is gone, disappearing somewhere in the house.
Chuuya +
Chuuya nods, confused. He's in the rich neighborhood with a pair of supposedly vicious guard dogs. What could happen?
Then Dazai is gone, disappearing somewhere in the house.
Chuuya +
ushers the dogs inside, pulling his fingers away from their playful bites. When he closes the door, Kozo goes running off, presumably to go find a toy or something.
Yoko though, she stays right by his side, looking up at him with a look of canine adoration. She just met him, +
Yoko though, she stays right by his side, looking up at him with a look of canine adoration. She just met him, +
and she already loves him, which is such a /dog/ thing that it's honestly adorable. He can barely walk a without tripping over her large paws, and her tail is wagging steadily.
The living room is open and spacious, and the hallway leads directly to the kitchen. He finds Shuuji+
The living room is open and spacious, and the hallway leads directly to the kitchen. He finds Shuuji+
there, digging in the fridge for something.
Chuuya nearly trips when Yoko suddenly stops in place, almost bodily blocking him from entering the kitchen.
When he moves around her, she doesn't follow, watching with narrowed, hawk-like eyes as he gets closer to Shuuji.+
Chuuya nearly trips when Yoko suddenly stops in place, almost bodily blocking him from entering the kitchen.
When he moves around her, she doesn't follow, watching with narrowed, hawk-like eyes as he gets closer to Shuuji.+
"You have a nice house," Chuuya starts, trying to break the slightly awkward tension.
Maybe he's the only one that's feeling it, because Shuuji looks up at him and speaks through a mouthful of sandwich. "Thanks. Wanna see it?"
Before Chuuya can give an answer, he's grabbing+
Maybe he's the only one that's feeling it, because Shuuji looks up at him and speaks through a mouthful of sandwich. "Thanks. Wanna see it?"
Before Chuuya can give an answer, he's grabbing+
him by the wrist, fingers carelessly tight, and drags him out of the kitchen.
"That's the backyard. I have parties there sometimes, when my dad isn't home. You can come to the next one," Shuuji winks at him, pointing to the big green yard outside a pair of glass doors.
"The +
"That's the backyard. I have parties there sometimes, when my dad isn't home. You can come to the next one," Shuuji winks at him, pointing to the big green yard outside a pair of glass doors.
"The +
living room you've already seen, and here's the library--"
Shuuji whisks him away before he can properly look, but the room looks /massive/, filled with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, and Chuuya is silently drooling over all the books that must be in there.
"The stairs..."
Shuuji whisks him away before he can properly look, but the room looks /massive/, filled with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, and Chuuya is silently drooling over all the books that must be in there.
"The stairs..."
The stairs are lined with a dark gray carpet, and luckily there's a railing, because Shuuji takes them two at a time with his long legs, and Chuuya is struggling to keep up without falling.
"Dad's room," Shuuji says, pointing, and Chuuya is embarrassed at how fast his head+
"Dad's room," Shuuji says, pointing, and Chuuya is embarrassed at how fast his head+
whips around to look.
The door is shut, but there's a faint red light seeping from under the door, and Chuuya wants to see inside /so/ badly. From the orientation of the house, he can guess that the huge balcony he saw outside is accessible through Dazai's room, and there's +
The door is shut, but there's a faint red light seeping from under the door, and Chuuya wants to see inside /so/ badly. From the orientation of the house, he can guess that the huge balcony he saw outside is accessible through Dazai's room, and there's +
nothing he wants more than to /explore/--
Shuuji yanks him forward, pulling him into another room. "And this," he crows proudly, "is /my/ room."
Truth be told, Chuuya isn't listening.He's busy imagining what Dazai's room looks like. Is it painted dark, or light? What color are+
Shuuji yanks him forward, pulling him into another room. "And this," he crows proudly, "is /my/ room."
Truth be told, Chuuya isn't listening.He's busy imagining what Dazai's room looks like. Is it painted dark, or light? What color are+
his curtains?
Are they regular curtains, or blackout curtains? Considering that Chuuya saw the large bank of windows facing the sunrise, he /must/ have blackout curtains.Or maybe he's just a morning person?
What does his bed look like?
Which leads to imagining Dazai /in/ said+
Are they regular curtains, or blackout curtains? Considering that Chuuya saw the large bank of windows facing the sunrise, he /must/ have blackout curtains.Or maybe he's just a morning person?
What does his bed look like?
Which leads to imagining Dazai /in/ said+
bed, and /that/ makes a jolt of heat pass through him, trying to reconstruct his abs from imagination alone--
In fact, he's so busy imagining that he's completely taken by surprise when Shuuji pushes him backwards, and pins him against the wall.
Startled, he opens his mouth--+
In fact, he's so busy imagining that he's completely taken by surprise when Shuuji pushes him backwards, and pins him against the wall.
Startled, he opens his mouth--+
Before he can say anything,another mouth is covering his own.
Shuuji's mouth is disgustingly wet,and there's no sense of buildup. It just feels like he's trying to /eat/ Chuuya.
It feels like fate that his first kiss with Shuuji happens when Chuuya was thinking about /Dazai/.+
Shuuji's mouth is disgustingly wet,and there's no sense of buildup. It just feels like he's trying to /eat/ Chuuya.
It feels like fate that his first kiss with Shuuji happens when Chuuya was thinking about /Dazai/.+
For a long moment, Chuuya just... stands there.
Truth be told, he’s not sure what to /do/. He’s kissed people before, but those were shy, quick, closed-mouth kisses. Those were mostly girls (and one notable dared kiss with a boy that changed Chuuya’s entire outlook) and back +
Truth be told, he’s not sure what to /do/. He’s kissed people before, but those were shy, quick, closed-mouth kisses. Those were mostly girls (and one notable dared kiss with a boy that changed Chuuya’s entire outlook) and back +
then, he hadn’t had the courage or experience to try what he called ‘adult kissing’.
(Yes, he knows it’s cringe, don’t judge him.)
/This/ is not like those kisses at /all/.
This is wet, almost slobbery, and faintly tastes like ham. Shuuji is pressing him into the wall hard,+
(Yes, he knows it’s cringe, don’t judge him.)
/This/ is not like those kisses at /all/.
This is wet, almost slobbery, and faintly tastes like ham. Shuuji is pressing him into the wall hard,+
like he’s trying to push him /through/ it.
His nose is smashed against Shuuji’s cheek, so he opens his mouth a little to take a breath.
It’s a mistake, one that Shuuji quickly takes advantage of and now there’s a /tongue/ in his mouth, hot and slimy and wiggling like an +
His nose is smashed against Shuuji’s cheek, so he opens his mouth a little to take a breath.
It’s a mistake, one that Shuuji quickly takes advantage of and now there’s a /tongue/ in his mouth, hot and slimy and wiggling like an +
octopus in its death throes.
When Chuuya tries to use his own tongue to push Shuuji out, because he /cannot/ breathe, Shuuji makes a weird, muffled noise and shudders against him.
In movies (and the few erotic novels Chuuya has read when his dad was away for business) they +
When Chuuya tries to use his own tongue to push Shuuji out, because he /cannot/ breathe, Shuuji makes a weird, muffled noise and shudders against him.
In movies (and the few erotic novels Chuuya has read when his dad was away for business) they +
describe kisses as something wonderful. Something good and pleasant that makes you hungry for more.
The only thing he wants right now is for this to end.
Either there’s something wrong with Chuuya and he doesn’t like kissing as much as he expected he would—
Or Shuuji is+
The only thing he wants right now is for this to end.
Either there’s something wrong with Chuuya and he doesn’t like kissing as much as he expected he would—
Or Shuuji is+
a phenomenally bad kisser. Which doesn’t seem that likely, considering he’s not shy or hesitant at /all/, so he must have a decent amount of experience.
Either way, this is just /not/ appealing.
Chuuya pushes against his shoulders, and it takes more force than he was expecting+
Either way, this is just /not/ appealing.
Chuuya pushes against his shoulders, and it takes more force than he was expecting+
to break the lip lock. “Shuuji—,” he starts.
“Yeah?” He pants, moist breath washing over Chuuya’s face. “Did you wanna move this to the bed?”
Chuuya would rather die a virgin, thank you very much.
“No,” he says, “I, uh— I have to go.”
Shuuji frowns at him, a storm +
“Yeah?” He pants, moist breath washing over Chuuya’s face. “Did you wanna move this to the bed?”
Chuuya would rather die a virgin, thank you very much.
“No,” he says, “I, uh— I have to go.”
Shuuji frowns at him, a storm +
gathering in his expression, and Chuuya scrambles to find a reasonable explanation.
Then it comes to him. “My book,” he breathes out in relief, “I have to go buy my books before the store closes. That’s what I needed my wallet for.”
Shuuji squints at him suspiciously, for long+
Then it comes to him. “My book,” he breathes out in relief, “I have to go buy my books before the store closes. That’s what I needed my wallet for.”
Shuuji squints at him suspiciously, for long+
enough that Chuuya starts to squirm uncomfortably.
Then his expression is clearing, going oddly blank and pleasant.
It leaves Chuuya feeling off-balance, like he’d braced himself for the storm and only got a sprinkler.
“Oh, okay. No problem. That reminds me— I should probably+
Then his expression is clearing, going oddly blank and pleasant.
It leaves Chuuya feeling off-balance, like he’d braced himself for the storm and only got a sprinkler.
“Oh, okay. No problem. That reminds me— I should probably+
do my homework too.”
Then he lets go of Chuuya completely, moving to his computer on the other side of the room.
Phew. Crisis averted. Chuuya takes a second to catch his breath, subtly wiping his mouth clean from all the slobber.
But the longer he stands there, the more he+
Then he lets go of Chuuya completely, moving to his computer on the other side of the room.
Phew. Crisis averted. Chuuya takes a second to catch his breath, subtly wiping his mouth clean from all the slobber.
But the longer he stands there, the more he+
realizes the crisis might /not/ have been averted.
Because Shuuji isn’t even /looking/ at him, and he’s already logging into his computer.
Which would be fine except—
He drove Chuuya here. And Chuuya doesn’t really know how to get back to campus himself.
Is he just +
Because Shuuji isn’t even /looking/ at him, and he’s already logging into his computer.
Which would be fine except—
He drove Chuuya here. And Chuuya doesn’t really know how to get back to campus himself.
Is he just +
supposed to stand here until he notices him again? By now, there’s probably less than 2 hours until the store closes, and it took at least twenty minutes to get here. He doesn’t want to take any chances of being late.
He clears his throat awkwardly, shifting his feet. “Will you+
He clears his throat awkwardly, shifting his feet. “Will you+
drive me back, please?”
Turning in his chair, Shuuji gives him a big pair of innocent looking eyes. “I would, darling— but I’m just /so/ busy. You understand. You’ll have to take the train back, unfortunately.”
Chuuya’s stomach /drops/.
He’s fine with taking the train, of +
Turning in his chair, Shuuji gives him a big pair of innocent looking eyes. “I would, darling— but I’m just /so/ busy. You understand. You’ll have to take the train back, unfortunately.”
Chuuya’s stomach /drops/.
He’s fine with taking the train, of +
course he is, but this feels like a /punishment/. Like he did something wrong, and now he has to deal with the consequences.
Not to mention that he doesn’t even /know/ where the nearest train station is. He didn’t pay attention on the drive in, and since this is the upscale+
Not to mention that he doesn’t even /know/ where the nearest train station is. He didn’t pay attention on the drive in, and since this is the upscale+
residential area, it’s probably not anywhere nearby.
But it’s not like he can /force/ Shuuji into giving him a ride. He didn’t mention anything before, but maybe he really is busy, and Chuuya doesn’t have a lot of time to argue with him.
It’s fine. He’ll just walk. It’s fine.+
But it’s not like he can /force/ Shuuji into giving him a ride. He didn’t mention anything before, but maybe he really is busy, and Chuuya doesn’t have a lot of time to argue with him.
It’s fine. He’ll just walk. It’s fine.+
“Oh. Okay. Do you have a map or anything? I don’t know where the station is.”
Shuuji waves a hand at him. “So sorry darling, I don’t. You can ask the neighbors, though. Or Google it.”
Right. That makes sense.
He nods, not that Shuuji is paying attention to him anymore, and+
Shuuji waves a hand at him. “So sorry darling, I don’t. You can ask the neighbors, though. Or Google it.”
Right. That makes sense.
He nods, not that Shuuji is paying attention to him anymore, and+
slinks out of the room, feeling like a kicked puppy.
Outside, Yoko is laying down with her head on her paws, staring dejectedly at the door.She perks up when she sees him though, and when she sees he’s alone, she rolls over on her and gives him a pleading look, silently begging+
Outside, Yoko is laying down with her head on her paws, staring dejectedly at the door.She perks up when she sees him though, and when she sees he’s alone, she rolls over on her and gives him a pleading look, silently begging+
him to rub her belly.
He does, crouching with a sigh to give her attention. “You’re a good girl,” he murmurs, smiling when her tail thumps loudly against the floor.
Then a thought occurs to him. “Is your dad home, girl?”
Asking Dazai for a ride will be awkward and +
He does, crouching with a sigh to give her attention. “You’re a good girl,” he murmurs, smiling when her tail thumps loudly against the floor.
Then a thought occurs to him. “Is your dad home, girl?”
Asking Dazai for a ride will be awkward and +
probably overstepping some boundaries, but it’s better than walking.
He said he was leaving for work soon, so maybe he’ll be able to drop Chuuya off near a station without too much hassle.
Has he left yet?
Yoko gets up to follow him as he walks to Dazai’s room. The door is+
He said he was leaving for work soon, so maybe he’ll be able to drop Chuuya off near a station without too much hassle.
Has he left yet?
Yoko gets up to follow him as he walks to Dazai’s room. The door is+
still shut, so he leans his head against the wood, trying to see if he can hear any movement inside.
Nothing, except for the sound of Yoko snuffling at his shoes.
“Yoko,” he says, trying to be firm so she listens, “where is Dazai?”
She tilts her head, ears twitching.
“Um.+
Nothing, except for the sound of Yoko snuffling at his shoes.
“Yoko,” he says, trying to be firm so she listens, “where is Dazai?”
She tilts her head, ears twitching.
“Um.+
Dazai. Fetch.”
She tilts her head the other way, clearly confused but getting an A+ on listening skills.
Well, shit. Maybe he’s downstairs. Shuuji did mention a garage.
When he approaches the stairs, Yoko sits at the top. He motions for her to follow him, but she just wags+
She tilts her head the other way, clearly confused but getting an A+ on listening skills.
Well, shit. Maybe he’s downstairs. Shuuji did mention a garage.
When he approaches the stairs, Yoko sits at the top. He motions for her to follow him, but she just wags+
her tail at him.
He doesn’t understand until he gets to the bottom of the stairs and suddenly Yoko is rushing down after him. He’s heard of dogs that were training like that, to wait at the top or the bottom of the stairs until their owner gets to the other side. It’s mostly to+
He doesn’t understand until he gets to the bottom of the stairs and suddenly Yoko is rushing down after him. He’s heard of dogs that were training like that, to wait at the top or the bottom of the stairs until their owner gets to the other side. It’s mostly to+
avoid injuries, and generally just a mark of good training.
It makes sense that Yoko and Kozo are trained like that— they /are/ guard dogs, and big enough that they could send Chuuya toppling down the stairs on accident— but the fact that Yoko has already placed him in a role+
It makes sense that Yoko and Kozo are trained like that— they /are/ guard dogs, and big enough that they could send Chuuya toppling down the stairs on accident— but the fact that Yoko has already placed him in a role+
of leadership and respect makes him smile.
Kozo is in the kitchen, gnawing on a bone like it might be his last meal. He looks up, mouth comically wide, as they pass, but doesn’t get up.
Dazai is not in the backyard or the living room, and when Chuuya finds a room he thinks+
Kozo is in the kitchen, gnawing on a bone like it might be his last meal. He looks up, mouth comically wide, as they pass, but doesn’t get up.
Dazai is not in the backyard or the living room, and when Chuuya finds a room he thinks+
might be the garage—
It’s locked.
(He does also find a /ridiculously/ nice bathroom while he’s looking, with a double wide bath /and/ a separate standing shower. He can already imagine himself floating in that tub sipping champagne.)
Well, it looks like Dazai isn’t home. +
It’s locked.
(He does also find a /ridiculously/ nice bathroom while he’s looking, with a double wide bath /and/ a separate standing shower. He can already imagine himself floating in that tub sipping champagne.)
Well, it looks like Dazai isn’t home. +
“Dammit,” he sighs.
No use putting it off anymore. The sun will start to set soon, and he has quite a distance to walk.
He says goodbye to the dogs, pushing gently on Yoko’s nose when she tries to follow him outside. Her soft whines make him sad to hear, but she can’t come. +
No use putting it off anymore. The sun will start to set soon, and he has quite a distance to walk.
He says goodbye to the dogs, pushing gently on Yoko’s nose when she tries to follow him outside. Her soft whines make him sad to hear, but she can’t come. +
Though, the idea of stealing Shuuji’s dog /does/ give the petty, vengeful side him a little thrill.
Outside, the neighborhood is just as quiet as it was when they arrived. Chuuya looks around, standing on his tiptoes to see if he can see any landmarks above the houses.
...He’s+
Outside, the neighborhood is just as quiet as it was when they arrived. Chuuya looks around, standing on his tiptoes to see if he can see any landmarks above the houses.
...He’s+
too short to.
Grumbling to himself, he decides to head in the direction they came from and find his way from there.
He does wish he’d brought his headphones though, because listening to the slight wind in the trees is soothing but /boring/ and it’s easier to walk quicker when+
Grumbling to himself, he decides to head in the direction they came from and find his way from there.
He does wish he’d brought his headphones though, because listening to the slight wind in the trees is soothing but /boring/ and it’s easier to walk quicker when+
he has a beat in his ears.
The work day hasn’t ended yet, so he only sees one car pass by as he walks down the block. No one is outside, though there is a few dogs leashed in their yards.
He’s only made it three blocks, starting the incline back down into the city, when he +
The work day hasn’t ended yet, so he only sees one car pass by as he walks down the block. No one is outside, though there is a few dogs leashed in their yards.
He’s only made it three blocks, starting the incline back down into the city, when he +
sees something low, black and sleek crest over the hill in front of him.
It /looks/ like a motorcycle, but it’s the stealthiest one he’s ever seen, because it’s barely over a block away and he /still/ doesn’t hear the roar of an engine.
...It’s slowing down. Slowing down a+
It /looks/ like a motorcycle, but it’s the stealthiest one he’s ever seen, because it’s barely over a block away and he /still/ doesn’t hear the roar of an engine.
...It’s slowing down. Slowing down a+
/lot/.
Chuuya is debating the logistics of being kidnapped on a motorcycle— are they gonna throw him over the handlebars, or tie him to the gas tank— and he is /fully/ prepared to take off running for his life as the motorcycle comes to a stop beside him—
“Chuuya?” +
Chuuya is debating the logistics of being kidnapped on a motorcycle— are they gonna throw him over the handlebars, or tie him to the gas tank— and he is /fully/ prepared to take off running for his life as the motorcycle comes to a stop beside him—
“Chuuya?” +
The kidnapper knows his /name/—
Then black gloved hands are coming up, pushing the visor up.
It’s Dazai, looking at him with a concerned frown.
The man owns a /motorcycle/, and is /casually/ straddling it between strong thighs in broad daylight. This is so not fair.
+
Then black gloved hands are coming up, pushing the visor up.
It’s Dazai, looking at him with a concerned frown.
The man owns a /motorcycle/, and is /casually/ straddling it between strong thighs in broad daylight. This is so not fair.
+
“What happened? Why are you walking?”
Chuuya scowls at him, irrationally angry that he’s so /hot/, and surprisingly nice, and rides a sexy motorcycle—
And is /completely/ unattainable.
“I thought you had to go to work or something.”
Dazai blows out a breath, leaning back+
Chuuya scowls at him, irrationally angry that he’s so /hot/, and surprisingly nice, and rides a sexy motorcycle—
And is /completely/ unattainable.
“I thought you had to go to work or something.”
Dazai blows out a breath, leaning back+
a little. The bike shifts, but he doesn’t seem even a little worried, knee-high black boots firm on the ground. “Yeah, I was, but the person I was supposed to meet with had an...emergency.”
Chuuya kicks at the ground. “Oh. Are they okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Fedya is resilient, +
Chuuya kicks at the ground. “Oh. Are they okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Fedya is resilient, +
impossible to keep down for long. He’s like a rat.”
Something about /that/ makes him snicker, and Chuuya just stands there awkwardly as he laughs, feeling like he’s on the outside of an inside joke.
He doesn’t get it. Why is that funny?
Eventually Dazai calms back down again+
Something about /that/ makes him snicker, and Chuuya just stands there awkwardly as he laughs, feeling like he’s on the outside of an inside joke.
He doesn’t get it. Why is that funny?
Eventually Dazai calms back down again+
“You didn’t answer my question though.”
Chuuya looks away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He’s not quite sure what kind of person Dazai is, and not knowing how he’ll react— after knowing the emotional whiplash that is his son—makes him nervous.
Is...is he going to be /mad/?+
Chuuya looks away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He’s not quite sure what kind of person Dazai is, and not knowing how he’ll react— after knowing the emotional whiplash that is his son—makes him nervous.
Is...is he going to be /mad/?+
He doesn’t see why he would be, but he also doesn’t see why Shuuji couldn’t just drive him home quickly, and ever since yesterday the whole situation has just been making Chuuya feel like the ground is constantly moving underneath him and he doesn’t know what to expect.
He +
He +
decides to go with a watered down version of the truth. “I had to go home, but Shuuji was too busy right now, so.”
Brown eyes stare at him for a moment, evaluating. Then Dazai is pinching the bridge of his nose, sighing in aggravation. “I /told/ that stupid kid—,” he mutters to+
Brown eyes stare at him for a moment, evaluating. Then Dazai is pinching the bridge of his nose, sighing in aggravation. “I /told/ that stupid kid—,” he mutters to+
himself.
He looks at Chuuya again, looking oddly determined. “Alright. Get on.”
“What?”
Dazai pats the space behind him. His bike /looks/ like one of those sleek, tiny street bikes that Chuuya sees in movies, but the oversized version. The seat comes up to Chuuya’s waist. +
He looks at Chuuya again, looking oddly determined. “Alright. Get on.”
“What?”
Dazai pats the space behind him. His bike /looks/ like one of those sleek, tiny street bikes that Chuuya sees in movies, but the oversized version. The seat comes up to Chuuya’s waist. +
“Get on,” he says again.
Chuuya’s eyes flick to him, down to the bike, then back up to him. “You.. want me... to get on /that/... with you?”
Dazai grins, teeth perfect and straight, making Chuuya’s heart jump in his chest. He’s so /charming/.
“Yep. I’ll give you a ride home.”+
Chuuya’s eyes flick to him, down to the bike, then back up to him. “You.. want me... to get on /that/... with you?”
Dazai grins, teeth perfect and straight, making Chuuya’s heart jump in his chest. He’s so /charming/.
“Yep. I’ll give you a ride home.”+
Chuuya’s mind /immediately/ flashes to the nauseating turns and swerves Shuuji takes while driving. He’s not sure if bad driving is /genetic/, but he imagines that but on a /motorcycle/, with nothing protecting him, and feels /terrified/.
“Uh... no thanks.”
Dazai tilts his+
“Uh... no thanks.”
Dazai tilts his+
head, reminding him of Yoko. “Why not?”
Chuuya doesn’t really know how to tell him that he doesn’t want to end up as a smear on the ground, so he goes with something in a different direction. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
That pulls a short laugh and a fond smile from+
Chuuya doesn’t really know how to tell him that he doesn’t want to end up as a smear on the ground, so he goes with something in a different direction. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
That pulls a short laugh and a fond smile from+
Dazai, like Chuuya said something funny. “You’re not an inconvenience or a burden, doll.”
That words hit Chuuya unexpectedly hard. He’s spent most of his life feeling like a /burden/ to his family, because he wasn’t /wanted/.
His father has never been unkind to him, but /he/+
That words hit Chuuya unexpectedly hard. He’s spent most of his life feeling like a /burden/ to his family, because he wasn’t /wanted/.
His father has never been unkind to him, but /he/+
never wanted three children. He only wanted two, and was quite happy with Chuuya’s elder sisters.
But his /mother/ wanted another, a little boy, and because Rimbaud loved her so much, he gave in—
Then Rimbaud was forced to raise him alone, and he did as best as he could with+
But his /mother/ wanted another, a little boy, and because Rimbaud loved her so much, he gave in—
Then Rimbaud was forced to raise him alone, and he did as best as he could with+
what he had.
There were only a very few, rare times that Chuuya ever felt unloved. But there was always this underlying knowledge that his father never /wanted/ him—
He /ended up/ with him.
Chuuya swallows hard, looking away again. Even if it’s /not/ a bother, he’s still+
There were only a very few, rare times that Chuuya ever felt unloved. But there was always this underlying knowledge that his father never /wanted/ him—
He /ended up/ with him.
Chuuya swallows hard, looking away again. Even if it’s /not/ a bother, he’s still+
concerned. “I’m not getting on that thing without a helmet.”
Safety first. Chuuya still has nightmares about the videos his father showed him to scare him off wanting a motorcycle.
Dazai shrugs, reaching up. “No problem,” he says, pulling off his own helmet.
He shakes his+
Safety first. Chuuya still has nightmares about the videos his father showed him to scare him off wanting a motorcycle.
Dazai shrugs, reaching up. “No problem,” he says, pulling off his own helmet.
He shakes his+
head, dark curly hair flying. It looks /so/ soft, and Chuuya’s fingers itch to bury themselves in it—
“Come here,” Dazai says, lower. Before, his voice was casual, conversational. But now it’s deeper, a /little/ commanding, like he’s expecting Chuuya to /listen/.
He’s not+
“Come here,” Dazai says, lower. Before, his voice was casual, conversational. But now it’s deeper, a /little/ commanding, like he’s expecting Chuuya to /listen/.
He’s not+
wrong, because Chuuya is stepping forward before he even realizes it, drawn in.
He ends up standing near the handlebars, with Dazai’s thigh between his knees, and he can /feel/ the heat pouring off him, intoxicating.
“What about you?” He asks, trying to distract himself.
+
He ends up standing near the handlebars, with Dazai’s thigh between his knees, and he can /feel/ the heat pouring off him, intoxicating.
“What about you?” He asks, trying to distract himself.
+
Smiling, Dazai reaches out with his hand. His fingertips just /barely/ ghost over Chuuya’s skin as he tucks his bangs behind his ear.
The contact is so light, so fleeting, but it sends a /cascade/ of butterflies flying in Chuuya’s stomach. His knees feel weak, and his heart+
The contact is so light, so fleeting, but it sends a /cascade/ of butterflies flying in Chuuya’s stomach. His knees feel weak, and his heart+
is stuttering in his chest.
Again, he wants it again, wants those eyes and gentle smile on him /forever/—
“I only have the one,” Dazai responds, bringing the helmet up. “Your safety first.”
Then the helmet is slowly being pressed onto his head, and Chuuya is grateful because+
Again, he wants it again, wants those eyes and gentle smile on him /forever/—
“I only have the one,” Dazai responds, bringing the helmet up. “Your safety first.”
Then the helmet is slowly being pressed onto his head, and Chuuya is grateful because+
he knows his cheeks are bright red.
The inside of the helmet is surprisingly comfortable, padded around his ears. It smells like Dazai, warm and musky, with the hint of dark-forest smell of his cologne.
“It’s a little big for you,” Dazai murmurs, tilting his head back so his+
The inside of the helmet is surprisingly comfortable, padded around his ears. It smells like Dazai, warm and musky, with the hint of dark-forest smell of his cologne.
“It’s a little big for you,” Dazai murmurs, tilting his head back so his+
fingers can slide under his chin to find the safety strap there, “but we’ll make it work.”
Chuuya holds still, breathing shallowly as Dazai works the strap tighter. Every moment, every brush of his fingertips over his throat, feels like it lasts /forever/. God, he just wants to+
Chuuya holds still, breathing shallowly as Dazai works the strap tighter. Every moment, every brush of his fingertips over his throat, feels like it lasts /forever/. God, he just wants to+
melt into it, to lean forward until his entire being is supported by the thigh between his legs and the hand around his throat—
“There you go,” Dazai breaks the moment, grinning at him. He raps at the helmet with his knuckles. It sounds muffled.
Shaking his head to gather his+
“There you go,” Dazai breaks the moment, grinning at him. He raps at the helmet with his knuckles. It sounds muffled.
Shaking his head to gather his+
thoughts, Chuuya nearly sends himself stumbling. The helmet is heavier than he expected, and now he feels too-heavy. “I feel like a bobble head,” he mutters.
Dazai snorts. “Kinda look like one too.”
Instinctively, Chuuya kicks at his ankle for that one. The visor is lowered+
Dazai snorts. “Kinda look like one too.”
Instinctively, Chuuya kicks at his ankle for that one. The visor is lowered+
again, and it makes the world slightly darker. It also hides his vicious scowl.
“Alright, alright,” Dazai snickers at him, shifting his weight so the bike is leaned further towards him. “Hop on.”
Ignoring the fact that Dazai practically has to tip the bike on its side so+
“Alright, alright,” Dazai snickers at him, shifting his weight so the bike is leaned further towards him. “Hop on.”
Ignoring the fact that Dazai practically has to tip the bike on its side so+
he can get on is hard, but he manages.
Throwing his leg over the back, Chuuya hops up. He’s expecting the bike to shift or dip beneath his weight—
But with Dazai holding it, it doesn’t even move.
Holding onto the back of Dazai’s jacket keeps him centered as he straightens+
Throwing his leg over the back, Chuuya hops up. He’s expecting the bike to shift or dip beneath his weight—
But with Dazai holding it, it doesn’t even move.
Holding onto the back of Dazai’s jacket keeps him centered as he straightens+
the bike back out.
Chuuya’s legs dangle hilariously far from the ground. He kicks them forward, unsure what to do with them. All the pictures he’s seen of motorcycle passengers show them with their feet propped up somewhere, but he doesn’t know where. He doesn’t want to touch +
Chuuya’s legs dangle hilariously far from the ground. He kicks them forward, unsure what to do with them. All the pictures he’s seen of motorcycle passengers show them with their feet propped up somewhere, but he doesn’t know where. He doesn’t want to touch +
anything he’s not supposed to.
Then, suddenly, Dazai is bending over and long, hot fingers are wrapping around Chuuya’s calf and sliding down to his ankle.
“Feet here,” Dazai instructs, guiding his toes into the right spot. He probably doesn’t know that his hand feels like+
Then, suddenly, Dazai is bending over and long, hot fingers are wrapping around Chuuya’s calf and sliding down to his ankle.
“Feet here,” Dazai instructs, guiding his toes into the right spot. He probably doesn’t know that his hand feels like+
a brand on Chuuya’s skin.
He repeats the gesture with his other foot, and Chuuya is on the verge of losing his /mind/. Both of his legs are tingling and it feels like he’s swallowed a ball of /fire/.
Then the next problem arises.
“You’re going to have to hold onto me,” Dazai+
He repeats the gesture with his other foot, and Chuuya is on the verge of losing his /mind/. Both of his legs are tingling and it feels like he’s swallowed a ball of /fire/.
Then the next problem arises.
“You’re going to have to hold onto me,” Dazai+
tells him, sounding faintly amused.
Chuuya grips his jacket loosely with both hands.
“No, not like that.”
Before he can say anything or /stop/ him, Dazai is showing an incredible amount of flexibility by reaching behind him and grabbing a wrist in each hand.
He guides his+
Chuuya grips his jacket loosely with both hands.
“No, not like that.”
Before he can say anything or /stop/ him, Dazai is showing an incredible amount of flexibility by reaching behind him and grabbing a wrist in each hand.
He guides his+
arms around his waist, tugging him forward until Chuuya is pressed up against him from hip to chest, hugging him from behind.
“Tightly,” he says, wrapping Chuuya’s fingers around his own wrists. “Don’t let go.”
He won’t. He swears he won’t. He won’t /ever/ let go, not ever. +
“Tightly,” he says, wrapping Chuuya’s fingers around his own wrists. “Don’t let go.”
He won’t. He swears he won’t. He won’t /ever/ let go, not ever. +
Dazai is solid in front of him, big enough that Chuuya can /barely/ wrap his arms around him, and are those /abs/ he feels? They have to be.
“Ready?” Dazai asks, revving the engine.
Chuuya nods, arms tightening.
“I want you to tell me, doll.”
The nicknames are /definitely/+
“Ready?” Dazai asks, revving the engine.
Chuuya nods, arms tightening.
“I want you to tell me, doll.”
The nicknames are /definitely/+
a family thing. Objectively 'doll' is a lot more objectifying than 'darling' is, but the difference is in how they /say/ it.
Shuuji calls him 'darling' like he can't be bothered to remember or use his actual name. Come to think of it, he's not sure he has even /said/ his name+
Shuuji calls him 'darling' like he can't be bothered to remember or use his actual name. Come to think of it, he's not sure he has even /said/ his name+
beyond the time he introduced him.
Dazai calls him 'doll' like it's a compliment. Like he's /admiring/ him.
"Yes," Chuuya speaks up, nodding again.
Yelping when the bike suddenly moves forward, he squeezes his eyes shut and hangs on with all his strength. He keeps waiting for+
Dazai calls him 'doll' like it's a compliment. Like he's /admiring/ him.
"Yes," Chuuya speaks up, nodding again.
Yelping when the bike suddenly moves forward, he squeezes his eyes shut and hangs on with all his strength. He keeps waiting for+
the nausea to hit, for the swooping turns and the unsafe swerving--
But it doesn't happen. The bike is steady, centered squarely on the correct side of the road, and while he's not going /fast/, he's not going slow either.
He's driving like a completely sane person.+
But it doesn't happen. The bike is steady, centered squarely on the correct side of the road, and while he's not going /fast/, he's not going slow either.
He's driving like a completely sane person.+
/Hallelujah./
Chuuya finally relaxes and lets himself enjoy the ride. The bike is vibrating between his legs, full of power, and the wind is rushing by him. It's totally different than riding in a car. It's more free, more adrenaline-inducing.
He can already feel his heartrate+
Chuuya finally relaxes and lets himself enjoy the ride. The bike is vibrating between his legs, full of power, and the wind is rushing by him. It's totally different than riding in a car. It's more free, more adrenaline-inducing.
He can already feel his heartrate+
speeding up, and instead of feeling scared--
He's feeling /bold/.
Besides, the view /sucks/ from back here, because he can't see over Dazai's shoulder with how tall he is, so he's regulated to watching the houses flash by.
If he's not getting the /view/, then he wants the +
He's feeling /bold/.
Besides, the view /sucks/ from back here, because he can't see over Dazai's shoulder with how tall he is, so he's regulated to watching the houses flash by.
If he's not getting the /view/, then he wants the +
/speed/.
Throwing caution to the wind, he leans up higher, trying to get close to Dazai's face. "Faster!" He shouts to be heard over the wind.
(He can't see Dazai's smile, but it's there and it's wild.)
The engine revs again, and they're shooting forward, picking up speed+
Throwing caution to the wind, he leans up higher, trying to get close to Dazai's face. "Faster!" He shouts to be heard over the wind.
(He can't see Dazai's smile, but it's there and it's wild.)
The engine revs again, and they're shooting forward, picking up speed+
rapidly. Dazai leans forward more and Chuuya follows him down.
A loud laugh bursts out of him, uncontrollable. He feels like he's /flying/, soaring through the air wildly. For a moment, he's left the ground behind, all his worries and anxieties fading away.
It's just him, the +
A loud laugh bursts out of him, uncontrollable. He feels like he's /flying/, soaring through the air wildly. For a moment, he's left the ground behind, all his worries and anxieties fading away.
It's just him, the +
wind, and the solidly warm body in his arms.
Then something is touching his intertwined wrists, and he's losing his breath for a whole /new/ reason.
A /huge/ hand is wrapping over both of his wrists, fingers wrapping easily around the width. One finger slides in the space +
Then something is touching his intertwined wrists, and he's losing his breath for a whole /new/ reason.
A /huge/ hand is wrapping over both of his wrists, fingers wrapping easily around the width. One finger slides in the space +
between his arms, while the rest of his fingers wrap around his left wrist, and his thumb over his right.
Then Dazai is /tightening/ his grip, locking him in place, and he can /feel/ the hidden strength there, like he could crush his wrists in one hand effortlessly--
The bike+
Then Dazai is /tightening/ his grip, locking him in place, and he can /feel/ the hidden strength there, like he could crush his wrists in one hand effortlessly--
The bike+
leans to the side /hard/, and suddenly Chuuya knows /why/ Dazai is holding onto him so tightly.
They've hit a twisting road, and they're soaring around the corners. Each one is like a taste of danger, because they lean /so/ low sometimes, but Dazai is confident and unshakeable+
They've hit a twisting road, and they're soaring around the corners. Each one is like a taste of danger, because they lean /so/ low sometimes, but Dazai is confident and unshakeable+
and the bike does not waver an inch more than he's expecting it to.
He can feel the way Dazai's weight shifts in anticipation of the turn, muscles flexing, and it feels /so/ natural to fall into his rhythm, leaning with him.
Nothing about this feels forced, or unexpected or +
He can feel the way Dazai's weight shifts in anticipation of the turn, muscles flexing, and it feels /so/ natural to fall into his rhythm, leaning with him.
Nothing about this feels forced, or unexpected or +
/confusing/.
This...
This feels /exactly/ where he's meant to be. This feels like heaven.
Eventually the road straightens out, and they're driving into the more urban areas. The traffic is heavier here, so Dazai is forced to slow.
(He also lets go of Chuuya's wrists, but he+
This...
This feels /exactly/ where he's meant to be. This feels like heaven.
Eventually the road straightens out, and they're driving into the more urban areas. The traffic is heavier here, so Dazai is forced to slow.
(He also lets go of Chuuya's wrists, but he+
can still feel the lingering strength of his grip, like a healing bruise.)
The speed evolves into quick dodges of cars as Dazai zigzags his way through the traffic.
Even now, Chuuya doesn't feel sick or afraid, because there's not a /hint/ of hesitation on Dazai's part. No+
The speed evolves into quick dodges of cars as Dazai zigzags his way through the traffic.
Even now, Chuuya doesn't feel sick or afraid, because there's not a /hint/ of hesitation on Dazai's part. No+
sudden stomp of the brakes, no getting too close to other cars, no shoving himself into too-tight spaces.
Where Shuuji drives like he's inexperienced--
Dazai drives like he was born with a motorcycle between his legs.
All in all, it takes barely fifteen minutes for them to+
Where Shuuji drives like he's inexperienced--
Dazai drives like he was born with a motorcycle between his legs.
All in all, it takes barely fifteen minutes for them to+
arrive back on campus.
His arms feel almost numb from how hard he's been holding on, and it takes him a second to unpeel his fingers from around his wrists.
Chuuya straightens up, stretching out his back and raising his arms overhead. That makes him slide further into the seat+
His arms feel almost numb from how hard he's been holding on, and it takes him a second to unpeel his fingers from around his wrists.
Chuuya straightens up, stretching out his back and raising his arms overhead. That makes him slide further into the seat+
and for the first time, he realizes how /wide/ his thighs have to spread to fit Dazai's hips between them and--
In the next second, he's scrambling off the bike, because that thought /alone/ feels like it sparks flames in his belly, sending pleasurable sparks down his thighs.
+
In the next second, he's scrambling off the bike, because that thought /alone/ feels like it sparks flames in his belly, sending pleasurable sparks down his thighs.
+
His legs feel a little unsteady, but he keeps himself upright out of sheer willpower. "That was fun," he says breathlessly, and even if Dazai can't /see/ the grin on his face, it's easily heard in his voice.
"Yeah?" Dazai smiles back at him, lopsided dimple briefly reappearing,+
"Yeah?" Dazai smiles back at him, lopsided dimple briefly reappearing,+
"I'm glad."
He really /does/ look glad too, like all it takes for him to be happy is for /Chuuya/ to be happy.
Dazai motions him closer again, and Chuuya is stumbling closer, because he can/not/ resist this man, not his tall, broad body or beautiful dark eyes or his huge hands+
He really /does/ look glad too, like all it takes for him to be happy is for /Chuuya/ to be happy.
Dazai motions him closer again, and Chuuya is stumbling closer, because he can/not/ resist this man, not his tall, broad body or beautiful dark eyes or his huge hands+
or his charming attitude.
"Come here," he says again, reaching for the strap on the helmet. Chuuya lifts his chin for him easily, letting him work the strap loose and then pull the helmet off his head.
Instantly, his hands are flying to his head, because he can /feel/ the hat+
"Come here," he says again, reaching for the strap on the helmet. Chuuya lifts his chin for him easily, letting him work the strap loose and then pull the helmet off his head.
Instantly, his hands are flying to his head, because he can /feel/ the hat+
hair he has. Without a mirror, he can't make it perfect, but he can /try./
"Thanks. For driving me home," Chuuya says, grateful. He still has a while before the book store closes, and that ride is probably going into one of his top ten favorite memories. Definitely worth the+
"Thanks. For driving me home," Chuuya says, grateful. He still has a while before the book store closes, and that ride is probably going into one of his top ten favorite memories. Definitely worth the+
fiasco with Shuuji--
That reminds him. He wiped his face off after he left Shuuji's room, but he /didn't/ rinse off his mouth.
Oh no. Does he have secondhand ham breath?? Is the helmet going to smell like ham breath now? Dazai's putting it on, oh /god/--
Settling the helmet+
That reminds him. He wiped his face off after he left Shuuji's room, but he /didn't/ rinse off his mouth.
Oh no. Does he have secondhand ham breath?? Is the helmet going to smell like ham breath now? Dazai's putting it on, oh /god/--
Settling the helmet+
on his head, Dazai pops the visor so they can make eye contact as he drawls,slowly, like he's savoring it, "It was my pleasure, doll."
Chuuya's cheeks turn pink again,and the curve of Dazai's lips is /knowing/,but he doesn't say anything.
He just turns the bike and roars away.+
Chuuya's cheeks turn pink again,and the curve of Dazai's lips is /knowing/,but he doesn't say anything.
He just turns the bike and roars away.+
———
Procrastination is not something that comes naturally to Dazai. He’s a restless kind of person, always needing another task to do, and he /prefers/ to get all his tasks done as soon as possible. There’s always more things to do, and if he runs behind on too many things, it +
Procrastination is not something that comes naturally to Dazai. He’s a restless kind of person, always needing another task to do, and he /prefers/ to get all his tasks done as soon as possible. There’s always more things to do, and if he runs behind on too many things, it +
overruns him.
It would be too much to say that every aspect of his life is carefully regimented and organized— but a decent part of it, and most of his work life, /is/. He can’t afford to fall behind, not even for a day.
Which is why it’s surprising that, two days later, on a+
It would be too much to say that every aspect of his life is carefully regimented and organized— but a decent part of it, and most of his work life, /is/. He can’t afford to fall behind, not even for a day.
Which is why it’s surprising that, two days later, on a+
Sunday night, Dazai finds himself staring at the wall and, admittedly, /procrastinating/.
Well, perhaps procrastinating isn’t the right idea. It’s more of a...
Mulling over a problem that isn’t really a problem that he tried not to think about for the last two days, but now +
Well, perhaps procrastinating isn’t the right idea. It’s more of a...
Mulling over a problem that isn’t really a problem that he tried not to think about for the last two days, but now +
he’s here.
Stuck.
Thinking about Nakahara Chuuya.
There’s something /intriguing/ about him. Dazai understands why Shuji likes him, because that school ID he found did not do him justice at all.
Messy red hair that curls around his features, searing blue eyes that are /so/+
Stuck.
Thinking about Nakahara Chuuya.
There’s something /intriguing/ about him. Dazai understands why Shuji likes him, because that school ID he found did not do him justice at all.
Messy red hair that curls around his features, searing blue eyes that are /so/+
expressive and surprising hard to look away from, a generous splash of freckles over his cute button nose, a waist small enough that Dazai could wrap his hands around entirely—
He gets that. He even gets why /he’s/ fascinated by him.
Even in the few minutes they’d interacted,+
He gets that. He even gets why /he’s/ fascinated by him.
Even in the few minutes they’d interacted,+
Chuuya had been /interesting/. Obviously inexperienced and therefore a little hesitant and shy, but /underneath/ that was a layer of confidence and daring.
Part of Dazai wants to strip back layer of inexperience, to encourage that confidence to grow and see what it shaped him +
Part of Dazai wants to strip back layer of inexperience, to encourage that confidence to grow and see what it shaped him +
into.
(Part of Dazai wants to push him til he /breaks/, to see what kind of person Chuuya /really/ is.)
And yeah, Chuuya wasn’t very /subtle/ about his fawning over him, which /is/ flattering. His expressive eyes were practically filled with stars whenever he looked at+
(Part of Dazai wants to push him til he /breaks/, to see what kind of person Chuuya /really/ is.)
And yeah, Chuuya wasn’t very /subtle/ about his fawning over him, which /is/ flattering. His expressive eyes were practically filled with stars whenever he looked at+
Dazai, and he’d /like/ to see them filled with tears as he—
He digresses.
Anyways, the point is, he understands all that.
But the /dogs/? He doesn’t understand that.
Yoko and Kozo are Akita’s, a breed which is well known to be standoffish and even aggressive to people if+
He digresses.
Anyways, the point is, he understands all that.
But the /dogs/? He doesn’t understand that.
Yoko and Kozo are Akita’s, a breed which is well known to be standoffish and even aggressive to people if+
not socialized properly.
He paid good money to ensure that his dogs were very well trained— but they’ve never been /friendly/. Not aggressive (at least, not without a command or a reason to be), but definitely not a family dog.
/Especially/ not Yoko. She’s /very/ picky +
He paid good money to ensure that his dogs were very well trained— but they’ve never been /friendly/. Not aggressive (at least, not without a command or a reason to be), but definitely not a family dog.
/Especially/ not Yoko. She’s /very/ picky +
about who she accepts into her inner circle. She downright hates Shuji (it’s not like Kozo likes him either, but he’s mostly indifferent to his presence. Except for that one time Shuji tried to take a bone of his move and nearly lost a finger for it) and even some days she’s +
standoffish with Dazai, who she’s known since a few days after she was born, more or less.
So the fact that Dazai found her belly up demanding rubs from a /complete/ stranger, instead of trying to intimidate him or protect the house?
It’s /weird/. Weird enough that he’s still+
So the fact that Dazai found her belly up demanding rubs from a /complete/ stranger, instead of trying to intimidate him or protect the house?
It’s /weird/. Weird enough that he’s still+
thinking about it, two days later.
With a sigh, he issues a command, voice sharp. He’s slacked on far too many training days, so it makes him smile when he quickly hears paws pounding up the stairs in his direction.
The dogs come barreling into his office, Yoko in front as+
With a sigh, he issues a command, voice sharp. He’s slacked on far too many training days, so it makes him smile when he quickly hears paws pounding up the stairs in his direction.
The dogs come barreling into his office, Yoko in front as+
usual. She’s always been outrageously competitive, has to beat her brother in everything.
They come to a halt in front of him, sitting primly without being asked, eyes trained on him.
Giving them a small treat and some ear scratches as their reward, Dazai turns his attention+
They come to a halt in front of him, sitting primly without being asked, eyes trained on him.
Giving them a small treat and some ear scratches as their reward, Dazai turns his attention+
to Yoko.
“Why do you like him?” He asks, cupping her fluffy face in his palms. He strokes down her cheek for with his thumbs absently. “Why is he so special?”
He’s not sure what he’s expecting, like maybe if he stares into her eyes long enough that she’ll speak up and be like+
“Why do you like him?” He asks, cupping her fluffy face in his palms. He strokes down her cheek for with his thumbs absently. “Why is he so special?”
He’s not sure what he’s expecting, like maybe if he stares into her eyes long enough that she’ll speak up and be like+
‘he’s just a really swell guy’, or maybe she’ll start doing sign language.
He just wants /answers/. This situation is probably one that doesn’t /have/ a clear cut answer too, which makes him restless and irritable.
Whenever he sees a puzzle, he /has/ to solve it. +
He just wants /answers/. This situation is probably one that doesn’t /have/ a clear cut answer too, which makes him restless and irritable.
Whenever he sees a puzzle, he /has/ to solve it. +
Shamefully, he even debated looking up Chuuya in his network last night, just to get some answers. It’s not like he dislikes the idea of researching someone, but he /does/ understand privacy and Chuuya hasn’t /done/ anything worthy of suspicion.
Besides be immediately endearing+
Besides be immediately endearing+
to his dogs.
Which might actually be a point in his favor, actually? Dogs are always good judges of character, so while it’s /weird/ that Yoko already loves him—
It’s not /suspicious/.
Sighing, he pats Yoko one more time before giving them both a bone. They’re going through+
Which might actually be a point in his favor, actually? Dogs are always good judges of character, so while it’s /weird/ that Yoko already loves him—
It’s not /suspicious/.
Sighing, he pats Yoko one more time before giving them both a bone. They’re going through+
then like crazy lately.
Before he can send the dogs away, the door to his office flies open.
The hand on Yoko’s face slides down to her collar, wrapping around the leather and holding her tightly in place as Shuuji strolls in without knocking or even asking.
His office is +
Before he can send the dogs away, the door to his office flies open.
The hand on Yoko’s face slides down to her collar, wrapping around the leather and holding her tightly in place as Shuuji strolls in without knocking or even asking.
His office is +
/supposed/ to be off limits, due to all the damning information stored in here, but considering Shuuji’s track record with respecting his space, it’s not surprising.
Though, he is glad that he’s gotten into the habit of locking his doors and hiding his keys. It does make him +
Though, he is glad that he’s gotten into the habit of locking his doors and hiding his keys. It does make him +
feel like he’s living with a toddler and not a college student, but whatever.
“Hey dad,” Shuuji starts, freezing in place when he sees Yoko between his thighs, staring him down with an infrequent growl. “Are you busy?”
Should he be? Yes. Is he? No. Was he going to pretend he+
“Hey dad,” Shuuji starts, freezing in place when he sees Yoko between his thighs, staring him down with an infrequent growl. “Are you busy?”
Should he be? Yes. Is he? No. Was he going to pretend he+
was if Shuuji had asked before waltzing in here like he owned the place?
...Yes.
Sighing, he shakes his head, silently giving Kozo the signal to lay down. He does, happy to chew on his bone in peace. “No, what’s up?”
“Can we get food from that one seafood place tonight?” +
...Yes.
Sighing, he shakes his head, silently giving Kozo the signal to lay down. He does, happy to chew on his bone in peace. “No, what’s up?”
“Can we get food from that one seafood place tonight?” +
Considering that Shuuji hasn’t attempted to cook anything more complicated than toast the entire time he’s been here, and Dazai usually ends up cooking himself small meals in the middle of the night— takeout isn’t strange for them. “Sure. I’m not going to get it though.” +
Shuuji shrugs, pulling out his phone. “That’s fine, I’ll just pick it up when I pick Chuuya up.”
Oh? /That/ makes Dazai sit up straighter with interest. Completely ignoring the fact that Shuuji didn’t ask him if that was okay, which is normal but irritating, he asks, “is Chuuya+
Oh? /That/ makes Dazai sit up straighter with interest. Completely ignoring the fact that Shuuji didn’t ask him if that was okay, which is normal but irritating, he asks, “is Chuuya+
coming to dinner?”
Shuuji shrugs. “Well I haven’t asked him yet, but I’m sure dinner will be way more interesting that whatever he has planned.”
The simple /arrogance/ of that statement makes him grit his teeth, but he overlooks it for a moment. “Are you actually going to give+
Shuuji shrugs. “Well I haven’t asked him yet, but I’m sure dinner will be way more interesting that whatever he has planned.”
The simple /arrogance/ of that statement makes him grit his teeth, but he overlooks it for a moment. “Are you actually going to give+
him a ride home this time, or are you going to be rude to your friend again?”
Shuuji starts to back out of the room, afraid to turn his back to Yoko. She’s bit him on the ass a few too many times, so now he’s careful. “He’s /not/ my friend. I just want him, that’s all.”
He +
Shuuji starts to back out of the room, afraid to turn his back to Yoko. She’s bit him on the ass a few too many times, so now he’s careful. “He’s /not/ my friend. I just want him, that’s all.”
He +
leaves the door wide open when he goes.
See, /that’s/ what Dazai is worried about.
Shuuji is not the type of person that would force himself on someone, but he’s...
Manipulative. Pushy. He knows what he wants, and he’ll charm and coerce and do whatever he thinks necessary+
See, /that’s/ what Dazai is worried about.
Shuuji is not the type of person that would force himself on someone, but he’s...
Manipulative. Pushy. He knows what he wants, and he’ll charm and coerce and do whatever he thinks necessary+
to get what he wants.
And, because of who Dazai is, he’s in a position of power over almost every single person he meets. It’s a recipe for disaster for someone who isn’t on his level.
Dazai has no doubt that Chuuya could /physcially/ fight him off— the little thing clung to+
And, because of who Dazai is, he’s in a position of power over almost every single person he meets. It’s a recipe for disaster for someone who isn’t on his level.
Dazai has no doubt that Chuuya could /physcially/ fight him off— the little thing clung to+
him tighter than a koala the other day— and he’s fairly certain Yoko would /already/ defend him if it came down to that, especially against Shuuji.
But that emotional manipulation, that coercion into agreeing because tou know there would be consequences if you said ‘no’? It’s +
But that emotional manipulation, that coercion into agreeing because tou know there would be consequences if you said ‘no’? It’s +
just as damaging, just as dangerous.
And Dazai, like most things concerning his son that he barely knows—
Doesn’t know what to do about that.
On one hand, it’s /wrong/, and it does make Dazai’s teeth ache to give him a lesson.
On the other hand, Shuuji is stubborn and if+
And Dazai, like most things concerning his son that he barely knows—
Doesn’t know what to do about that.
On one hand, it’s /wrong/, and it does make Dazai’s teeth ache to give him a lesson.
On the other hand, Shuuji is stubborn and if+
Dazai interferes, he has little doubt that his behavior is going to get /worse/, possibly more violent, and he’s going to /hide/ it.
Which means that Dazai won’t be able to head off the worst of the situations, like giving Chuuya a ride home when Shuuji refused to.
Maybe he+
Which means that Dazai won’t be able to head off the worst of the situations, like giving Chuuya a ride home when Shuuji refused to.
Maybe he+
should read some parenting books or something, but he doubts there’s many books on how to control your estranged adult child.
“What am I going to do?” He asks Yoko, releasing her collar.
Typically, she picks up her bone and leaves him to be alone with his thoughts. +
“What am I going to do?” He asks Yoko, releasing her collar.
Typically, she picks up her bone and leaves him to be alone with his thoughts. +
Well, he muses, worst comes to worse—
He does have /quite/ a few people that are dying to meet Shuuji and sink their teeth into him.
Maybe he’ll arrange a kidnapping or something, and then go rescue him after a few hours, once they’ve had a /little/ fun.
Is that child abuse?+
He does have /quite/ a few people that are dying to meet Shuuji and sink their teeth into him.
Maybe he’ll arrange a kidnapping or something, and then go rescue him after a few hours, once they’ve had a /little/ fun.
Is that child abuse?+
His phone, the new disposable one, beeps with an incoming text.
Grateful for the distraction, he checks it.
[UNKNOWN]: got smth for u -- R
Dazai smiles. He never actually /gives/ Rokuzou his new numbers, and it's sort of an unspoken game between them to se how long it takes+
Grateful for the distraction, he checks it.
[UNKNOWN]: got smth for u -- R
Dazai smiles. He never actually /gives/ Rokuzou his new numbers, and it's sort of an unspoken game between them to se how long it takes+
the kid to figure them out. It only took him three days this time. He's getting better.
[DAZAI]: i knew u loved me<3
[UNKNOWN]: stfu. my place,in 3 days
[DAZAI]: kk
Why is a teenaged criminal much easier to deal with than his own son? His son who hasn't done anything riskier+
[DAZAI]: i knew u loved me<3
[UNKNOWN]: stfu. my place,in 3 days
[DAZAI]: kk
Why is a teenaged criminal much easier to deal with than his own son? His son who hasn't done anything riskier+
than take his car without permission, as far as Dazai knows.
And Dazai--
Well, he's dealt with /much/ scarier and powerful people, ever since he was a kid himself.
So why does he never feel like he knows how to /handle/ Shuuji?
Granted, he is one of the few people that+
And Dazai--
Well, he's dealt with /much/ scarier and powerful people, ever since he was a kid himself.
So why does he never feel like he knows how to /handle/ Shuuji?
Granted, he is one of the few people that+
gives Dazai genuine attitude and doesn't respect him at /all/,but should that really throw him off that much?
He's bean a leader of teams before, so why is being a father, an actual father instead of a sperm donor that provides for Shuuji and his mother and occasionally visits,+
He's bean a leader of teams before, so why is being a father, an actual father instead of a sperm donor that provides for Shuuji and his mother and occasionally visits,+
feel so /impossible/?
He groans, dropping his head into his hands. He's not used to feeling confused or lost. Uncertainty was beaten out of him a long time ago, so now he doesn't even know how to handle it.
It leaves him feeling restless and irritable.
"Well," he mutters to+
He groans, dropping his head into his hands. He's not used to feeling confused or lost. Uncertainty was beaten out of him a long time ago, so now he doesn't even know how to handle it.
It leaves him feeling restless and irritable.
"Well," he mutters to+
himself, slapping his hands on his thighs. If he's not going to get any work done, he might as well do /something/ productive.
Like take a run with the dogs. He didn't go yesterday, and he bets they're dying to spend all their excess energy.
--------
Because Chuuya is a /good/+
Like take a run with the dogs. He didn't go yesterday, and he bets they're dying to spend all their excess energy.
--------
Because Chuuya is a /good/+
student, he finishes all his homework for the first day of class the Sunday before the semester begins.
Then, somehow, finds himself hanging out with Yuan, of all people.
(Apparently it started with her getting coffee at Nikolai’s café and then accompanying him to get some +
Then, somehow, finds himself hanging out with Yuan, of all people.
(Apparently it started with her getting coffee at Nikolai’s café and then accompanying him to get some +
makeup pallets he’d borrowed from her, and then once she saw the TV Nikolai had installed in their room the day before— he /said/ it was a gift from a work friend, which doesn’t make sense to Chuuya but who is he to complain about Netflix access— she promptly confiscated the +
remote.)
Which is how he, somehow, ends up watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta with Yuan sprawled over his bed. She’s reclaimed all of his pillows for herself.
It’s not a show Chuuya would usually find himself watching, but he has to admit that the live commentary /is/ +
Which is how he, somehow, ends up watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta with Yuan sprawled over his bed. She’s reclaimed all of his pillows for herself.
It’s not a show Chuuya would usually find himself watching, but he has to admit that the live commentary /is/ +
funny.
“Can you believe people actually /live/ like this?” Yuan asks, sneaking her hand into Chuuya’s bag of chips. He asked if she wanted her own bag, but she said no. “It’s like going to the zoo except the floors are marble and the water fountains are filled with Fiji water.”+
“Can you believe people actually /live/ like this?” Yuan asks, sneaking her hand into Chuuya’s bag of chips. He asked if she wanted her own bag, but she said no. “It’s like going to the zoo except the floors are marble and the water fountains are filled with Fiji water.”+
Chuuya does /not/ point out that that would probably make her a zoo animal too.
“I think I would be a housewife,” Nikolai says from his place laying on the floor, apropos to nothing.
Who would want /him/ as a housewife, Chuuya doesn’t know, considering he saw him have a +
“I think I would be a housewife,” Nikolai says from his place laying on the floor, apropos to nothing.
Who would want /him/ as a housewife, Chuuya doesn’t know, considering he saw him have a +
burping contest with one of the other boys on the floor literally yesterday.
(He did win though, so there’s that. What can Chuuya say, their dorm is clearly filled with winners.)
“I don’t know,” Chuuya says, giving up on wrestling his chips back from Yuan. “Doesn’t it seem+
(He did win though, so there’s that. What can Chuuya say, their dorm is clearly filled with winners.)
“I don’t know,” Chuuya says, giving up on wrestling his chips back from Yuan. “Doesn’t it seem+
kind of ...degrading to you?”
Yuan sighs dreamily. “For that chandelier, I would let a man degrade me anytime he wants.”
Chuuya is /not/ touching that one.
“I mean,” he stresses, “it just seems like you wouldn’t... bring anything to the table, you know? You’re basically just+
Yuan sighs dreamily. “For that chandelier, I would let a man degrade me anytime he wants.”
Chuuya is /not/ touching that one.
“I mean,” he stresses, “it just seems like you wouldn’t... bring anything to the table, you know? You’re basically just+
a decoration. Another trophy.”
“You’re looking at it all wrong, Chuuya,” Yuan says, sitting up. She passes the chips to Nikolai, who takes them happily. Chuuya is forced to watch in dismay as /his/ chips get devoured.
“You don’t have to bring ‘anything to the table’, and you+
“You’re looking at it all wrong, Chuuya,” Yuan says, sitting up. She passes the chips to Nikolai, who takes them happily. Chuuya is forced to watch in dismay as /his/ chips get devoured.
“You don’t have to bring ‘anything to the table’, and you+
/are/ a trophy. You are something to be fought for and celebrated, and fawned over for the rest of your life. People should look at you and be jealous of whoever /has/ you.”
That’s a little objectifying, but uplifting in a weird, roundabout way.
“Besides, doesn’t it sound nice+
That’s a little objectifying, but uplifting in a weird, roundabout way.
“Besides, doesn’t it sound nice+
to have all your needs and wants taken care of, while all you have to do is be pretty and appealing?”
Well, yeah, sure, but Chuuya is pretty sure that isn’t an option for him. The idea that self value isn’t bought and bargained for with what he can /do/, instead of being +
Well, yeah, sure, but Chuuya is pretty sure that isn’t an option for him. The idea that self value isn’t bought and bargained for with what he can /do/, instead of being +
something intrinsic to him is a little difficult to compute.
His father, probably because he has two siblings, was very adamant about the idea of being part of a /team/. You must be hardworking and dedicated and smart and easy to get along with.
You have to bring /something/+
His father, probably because he has two siblings, was very adamant about the idea of being part of a /team/. You must be hardworking and dedicated and smart and easy to get along with.
You have to bring /something/+
to the team— or no one would want to be /on/ your team.
It’s a little sad, but it’s difficult to imagine that someone would want to be on his team just because it had /him/ on it, instead of what he could offer them.
“How do you get someone to make you their housewife?” +
It’s a little sad, but it’s difficult to imagine that someone would want to be on his team just because it had /him/ on it, instead of what he could offer them.
“How do you get someone to make you their housewife?” +
Comes from the floor.
Yuan leans over, fixing Nikolai with a knowing gaze. “Why, do you have someone in mind?”
Nikolai crunches thoughtfully, “yes, I think, but he does not seem the housewife type.”
“/He/?”
On second thought, maybe that rainbow on the first day /was/ +
Yuan leans over, fixing Nikolai with a knowing gaze. “Why, do you have someone in mind?”
Nikolai crunches thoughtfully, “yes, I think, but he does not seem the housewife type.”
“/He/?”
On second thought, maybe that rainbow on the first day /was/ +
gay communication.
“I have said too much already,” Nikolai tries to backtrack, but it’s pretty clear he underestimated Yuan’s determination.
She narrows her eyes, about to interrogate him for more information, when Chuuya’s phone beeps.
He checks it absently, expecting it to+
“I have said too much already,” Nikolai tries to backtrack, but it’s pretty clear he underestimated Yuan’s determination.
She narrows her eyes, about to interrogate him for more information, when Chuuya’s phone beeps.
He checks it absently, expecting it to+
be a social media notification or the sibling group chat he has. He mentioned that he met a cute boy /once/ and Kouyou and Kyouka have been /relentless/ about it.
But it’s not.
It’s a text from Shuuji.
[SHUUJI]: dinner, my place? My treat 👅
Chuuya’s first thought probably+
But it’s not.
It’s a text from Shuuji.
[SHUUJI]: dinner, my place? My treat 👅
Chuuya’s first thought probably+
shouldnt be ‘is his dad going to be there’ /especially/ when it sounds like an invitation to date but—
Here he is.
Noticing his distraction, Yuan looks back over, and grins when she sees his pinking cheeks. “You too, Chuuya? Who is it? A /boy/?”
He’s known Yuan for a total+
Here he is.
Noticing his distraction, Yuan looks back over, and grins when she sees his pinking cheeks. “You too, Chuuya? Who is it? A /boy/?”
He’s known Yuan for a total+
of three days and she already sounds like one of his sisters.
“It’s just Shuuji,” he grumbles, tucking his phone against his chest so she can’t peek at the screen.
Her grin grows. “/Just/ Shuuji, huh? What does he want?”
He does not like the feeling of being put on the+
“It’s just Shuuji,” he grumbles, tucking his phone against his chest so she can’t peek at the screen.
Her grin grows. “/Just/ Shuuji, huh? What does he want?”
He does not like the feeling of being put on the+
spot, especially because she’s friends with Shuuji. It feels like she’s digging for information, like a prying parent.
But he can’t think of a lie, not when she’s staring him down with those piercing eyes, waiting for an answer.
“Just dinner,” he grumbles.
That seems to make+
But he can’t think of a lie, not when she’s staring him down with those piercing eyes, waiting for an answer.
“Just dinner,” he grumbles.
That seems to make+
her pause, eyebrows shooting up. Even Nikolai stops crunching on Chuuya’s chips, not so subtly listening in.
“Are you gonna go?”
Chuuya blows out a breath. He has class semi-early tomorrow, so logically he /shouldn’t/, and he still has a bad taste in his mouth from the /last/+
“Are you gonna go?”
Chuuya blows out a breath. He has class semi-early tomorrow, so logically he /shouldn’t/, and he still has a bad taste in his mouth from the /last/+
time— metaphorically, though. He’s brushed his teeth /several/ times since the whole ham thing.
But at the same time, a part of him is leaping for joy and drawing imaginary hearts at the idea of possibly seeing Dazai again.
Plus, seeing Yoko again /would/ be a treat.+
But at the same time, a part of him is leaping for joy and drawing imaginary hearts at the idea of possibly seeing Dazai again.
Plus, seeing Yoko again /would/ be a treat.+
“I don’t know if I should. It’s at his house and...” he shrugs, unsure of how to finish that sentence.
Then, because he’s painfully obvious and he can’t help himself, he asks /the/ question. “Have you met his dad?”
“Oh, that sexy bastard? /Yes/,” she sighs, dropping back+
Then, because he’s painfully obvious and he can’t help himself, he asks /the/ question. “Have you met his dad?”
“Oh, that sexy bastard? /Yes/,” she sighs, dropping back+
to lay on the bed like a dramatic heroine, “it’s too bad he’s so cold and intimidating, otherwise I’d have my hands all over /that/ merchandise.”
Chuuya focuses on the feeling of /not/ being alone in his dad-lusting shame to ignore the strange, vicious bolt of jealousy and +
Chuuya focuses on the feeling of /not/ being alone in his dad-lusting shame to ignore the strange, vicious bolt of jealousy and +
/possession/ that tears through his s chest.
Then her words register with him fully, and he’s confused /again/.
Dazai? /Cold/ and intimidating?
The intimidating thing, he can actually agree with, because he is intimidating—
But mostly because of how /hot/ he is, the +
Then her words register with him fully, and he’s confused /again/.
Dazai? /Cold/ and intimidating?
The intimidating thing, he can actually agree with, because he is intimidating—
But mostly because of how /hot/ he is, the +
teasing curl of his lips, how confident and /big/ his hands are—
(Chuuya will quite literally never forget how effortlessly he could take both of his wrists in one hand, and he will never admit this to anyone, but he has /actively/ tried to dream about those hands, pinning him+
(Chuuya will quite literally never forget how effortlessly he could take both of his wrists in one hand, and he will never admit this to anyone, but he has /actively/ tried to dream about those hands, pinning him+
down easily, maybe against a wall or on his /bed/. He mourns that he never learned what his room looked like, if only because it would make the dream more real.)
The only intimidating part about Dazai is how easily he makes Chuuya /melt/ and how those brown eyes make him feel+
The only intimidating part about Dazai is how easily he makes Chuuya /melt/ and how those brown eyes make him feel+
he could do anything,he /would/ do anything,just for a little /taste/,a little /more/—
“Once,he caught me raiding his liquor cabinet,and all he did was cross his arms and silently stared me down like some Yakuza boss until I put it back,” Yuan continues. “Hot, but untouchable.”+
“Once,he caught me raiding his liquor cabinet,and all he did was cross his arms and silently stared me down like some Yakuza boss until I put it back,” Yuan continues. “Hot, but untouchable.”+
Except Chuuya /has/ touched him. Had his hips between his thighs, even if it wasn’t like /that/,felt the weight of his gaze like a brand against his skin.
He frowns. “What does he do?”
Nikolai squints at him oddly intensely while Yuan shrugs. “No one knows, really. Shuuji says+
He frowns. “What does he do?”
Nikolai squints at him oddly intensely while Yuan shrugs. “No one knows, really. Shuuji says+
he owns some business— but he never says /what/, and whenever we bring it up, he changes the subject. I’m starting to think he doesn’t know himself. I tried to look in his office once, but the dogs chased me out.”
That’s interesting and /mysterious./
Obviously, whatever Dazai+
That’s interesting and /mysterious./
Obviously, whatever Dazai+
does, he makes a /lot/ of money. No one in Japan can afford a house like /that/ and vehicles like that without a generous salary.
And from Chuuya’s experience, most successful business owners—
Brag. A lot.
So why doesn’t Dazai?
Honestly, the more Chuuya learns about him,+
And from Chuuya’s experience, most successful business owners—
Brag. A lot.
So why doesn’t Dazai?
Honestly, the more Chuuya learns about him,+
the less he feels like he /knows/ him.
“Whatever he does though, it must be important. I’ve seen Yoko— the smaller dog— take down a man Dazai’s size without a single problem. Probably would’ve torn his arm off if it weren’t for the training sleeve he was wearing. She means+
“Whatever he does though, it must be important. I’ve seen Yoko— the smaller dog— take down a man Dazai’s size without a single problem. Probably would’ve torn his arm off if it weren’t for the training sleeve he was wearing. She means+
/business/.”
Chuuya doesn’t understand it, but he remembers the way she bared her teeth at Shuuji, and he believes it.
“Do you think I should go?” He asks, taking a chance and trusting Yuan with a little more than he might with someone else he just met. “I just feel like I+
Chuuya doesn’t understand it, but he remembers the way she bared her teeth at Shuuji, and he believes it.
“Do you think I should go?” He asks, taking a chance and trusting Yuan with a little more than he might with someone else he just met. “I just feel like I+
don’t belong or something.”
Nikolai nods with sympathy— understandable, since he works at a café, but /he/ doesn’t seem to have a problem fitting in— while Yuan reaches out to pat his knee.
“Let me give you a little tip. If you /act/ like the rich people, they’ll treat you+
Nikolai nods with sympathy— understandable, since he works at a café, but /he/ doesn’t seem to have a problem fitting in— while Yuan reaches out to pat his knee.
“Let me give you a little tip. If you /act/ like the rich people, they’ll treat you+
like one of them.”
“Fake it til you create it,” Nikolai adds sagely in. He’s a little off, but Chuuya knows what he means.
Well—
That settles it. He’ll go.
“Okay,” he says, texting Shuuji back an affirmative, “I’ll go, then.”
Yuan wiggles happily, clapping her hands +
“Fake it til you create it,” Nikolai adds sagely in. He’s a little off, but Chuuya knows what he means.
Well—
That settles it. He’ll go.
“Okay,” he says, texting Shuuji back an affirmative, “I’ll go, then.”
Yuan wiggles happily, clapping her hands +
together. “Awesome! /Please/ let me do your makeup.”
It’s not like Chuuya hasn’t worn makeup before— he has two sisters, he’s been literally tied to a chair more than once so they can play dress up with him— and he /does/ enjoy the confidence boost it gives him so—
“Nothing+
It’s not like Chuuya hasn’t worn makeup before— he has two sisters, he’s been literally tied to a chair more than once so they can play dress up with him— and he /does/ enjoy the confidence boost it gives him so—
“Nothing+
crazy,” he warns her, eyeing her.
Yuan /beams/ at him.
Because she doesn’t carry a lot of her makeup with her, and Nikolai mostly has super-bright face paints, Chuuya ends up getting lightly smudged eyeliner and a double coat of mascara.His cheeks get brushed with highlighter.+
Yuan /beams/ at him.
Because she doesn’t carry a lot of her makeup with her, and Nikolai mostly has super-bright face paints, Chuuya ends up getting lightly smudged eyeliner and a double coat of mascara.His cheeks get brushed with highlighter.+
It’s understated, subtle enough that it’s not /immediately/ noticeable, though it does make his eyes brighter and bluer.
He doesn’t really have a lot of ‘nice’ clothes ever since he moved, but he wears his nicest pair of dark jeans and a shirt that is cropped just short enough+
He doesn’t really have a lot of ‘nice’ clothes ever since he moved, but he wears his nicest pair of dark jeans and a shirt that is cropped just short enough+
to show of a small sliver of his muscled stomach.
He’s making the best of what he has.
Nikolai lends him a dark jacket, and even though it’s too big for him, somehow it brings the whole look together.
His shoes are still his ratty, thrifted sneakers though, and they’re as+
He’s making the best of what he has.
Nikolai lends him a dark jacket, and even though it’s too big for him, somehow it brings the whole look together.
His shoes are still his ratty, thrifted sneakers though, and they’re as+
comforting as they are embarrassing.
“How do I look?” He asks, giving them a twirl. Yuan pulled his hair up into a high ponytail, with a few pieces left to flutter around his face.
“Good,” Nikolai assures him. Yuan whistles through her teeth and smacks his ass, which is a +
“How do I look?” He asks, giving them a twirl. Yuan pulled his hair up into a high ponytail, with a few pieces left to flutter around his face.
“Good,” Nikolai assures him. Yuan whistles through her teeth and smacks his ass, which is a +
good a compliment as any, he supposes.
His phone, stuffed in his pocket, sings with another text.
[SHUUJI]: here where r u
[CHUUYA]: coming, 1 sec
This time he shoves his wallet deep into his pocket so he doesn’t lose it again.
/You never know what unsavory characters +
His phone, stuffed in his pocket, sings with another text.
[SHUUJI]: here where r u
[CHUUYA]: coming, 1 sec
This time he shoves his wallet deep into his pocket so he doesn’t lose it again.
/You never know what unsavory characters +
might find them/, a low, purring voice whispers from his memories. He shivers, a little thrill running up his spine.
Leaving Yuan and Nikolai to fight over the last remains of his chips while starting the next episode, Chuuya makes his way outside.
Shuuji is where he was the+
Leaving Yuan and Nikolai to fight over the last remains of his chips while starting the next episode, Chuuya makes his way outside.
Shuuji is where he was the+
last time, idling in the same car. It’s still not the sleek, luxurious car from the /first/ time, but it’s still nice.
Shuuji grins when he opens the door, twisting in his seat to watch him intently as he climbs into the seat. “I’m glad you finally decided to dress up for me.”+
Shuuji grins when he opens the door, twisting in his seat to watch him intently as he climbs into the seat. “I’m glad you finally decided to dress up for me.”+
That feels like somewhat of a backhanded compliment because it implies that Chuuya’s /regular/ clothes aren’t good enough but—
He’s not wrong, exactly. Chuuya did dress up a little, even if it was more for /himself/ than for Shuuji.
Still, the fact that he noticed makes a tiny+
He’s not wrong, exactly. Chuuya did dress up a little, even if it was more for /himself/ than for Shuuji.
Still, the fact that he noticed makes a tiny+
seed of warmth grow in his stomach.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, ducking his head.
“You look better than you usually do, that’s for sure.”
Chuuya’s smile falters, but before he can say anything to /that/, Shuuji is barreling on ahead.
“We have to stop at the restaurant for the+
“Thanks,” he murmurs, ducking his head.
“You look better than you usually do, that’s for sure.”
Chuuya’s smile falters, but before he can say anything to /that/, Shuuji is barreling on ahead.
“We have to stop at the restaurant for the+
food, and then we’ll go to my house.”
They’re getting takeout? It’s not like he doesn’t /like/ ordering out, or that he’s ungrateful, it’s just...
Well, when he imagined his first dinner date at a boy’s house he imagined a home cooked meal. Maybe some music and a few candles.+
They’re getting takeout? It’s not like he doesn’t /like/ ordering out, or that he’s ungrateful, it’s just...
Well, when he imagined his first dinner date at a boy’s house he imagined a home cooked meal. Maybe some music and a few candles.+
He imagined something /romantic/.
Takeout from a restaurant doesn’t /feel/ romantic, but maybe he’s just being overly critical and demanding again.
“Okay, sounds good,” he says, clutching onto his seatbelt as Shuuji screeches around a turn.
“It’ll be quick. I ordered for+
Takeout from a restaurant doesn’t /feel/ romantic, but maybe he’s just being overly critical and demanding again.
“Okay, sounds good,” he says, clutching onto his seatbelt as Shuuji screeches around a turn.
“It’ll be quick. I ordered for+
you, so you just have to go in and get it.”
Why did he order for him when he doesn’t even know what he /likes/? Granted, he’s never been overly picky with his food, but—
If he would’ve /asked/, Chuuya would’ve told him what he wanted.
He nods again, tongue feeling thick in+
Why did he order for him when he doesn’t even know what he /likes/? Granted, he’s never been overly picky with his food, but—
If he would’ve /asked/, Chuuya would’ve told him what he wanted.
He nods again, tongue feeling thick in+
his mouth. “At least we won’t have to wait long then.”
Shuuji leers at him, taking his eyes off the road for an unsettling amount of him. “I’ll have you home in no time, darling.”
It’s nearly the same thing as he said the last time he picked Chuuya up, and a part of him starts+
Shuuji leers at him, taking his eyes off the road for an unsettling amount of him. “I’ll have you home in no time, darling.”
It’s nearly the same thing as he said the last time he picked Chuuya up, and a part of him starts+
to wonder if it’s /scripted/.
As it turns out, the restaurant they’re ordering from is the same one they ate at when they met, which makes Chuuya feel a little better. He liked their food then, so hopefully this time he’ll like whatever Shuuji ordered for him.
Handing off his+
As it turns out, the restaurant they’re ordering from is the same one they ate at when they met, which makes Chuuya feel a little better. He liked their food then, so hopefully this time he’ll like whatever Shuuji ordered for him.
Handing off his+
gold card to Chuuya, Shuuji sends him inside to pay for and pick up their meals, which /does/ feel a little awkward. It feels like he’s put on the spot,like he might hand over the card only for the cashier to say ‘this isn’t /yours/‘and refuse to give him his food. Or something.+
Nothing like that happens though, and the pure, unadulterated smile he gets when he climbs back into the car with the food in hand—
It finally makes him feel like he’s done something /right/.
He places one bag between his feet on the floor and the other he holds on his lap+
It finally makes him feel like he’s done something /right/.
He places one bag between his feet on the floor and the other he holds on his lap+
securely.
It smells delicious, to be fair, warm and mouthwatering.
The roads are emptier than they were last time, considering that it’s dinner time and most people are at home eating. It means that the drive up doesn’t take long, but it /also/ means that Shuuji spends the +
It smells delicious, to be fair, warm and mouthwatering.
The roads are emptier than they were last time, considering that it’s dinner time and most people are at home eating. It means that the drive up doesn’t take long, but it /also/ means that Shuuji spends the +
entire drive doing his best to break every driving law that Chuuya can think of.
By now he recognizes some of the landmarks and he counts them with increasing desperation and gratefulness, clutching him onto the bag on his lap like it’s going to help keep him in his seat. +
By now he recognizes some of the landmarks and he counts them with increasing desperation and gratefulness, clutching him onto the bag on his lap like it’s going to help keep him in his seat. +
Is asking Dazai to pick him up next time out of the question? Not even so he can admire him or get extra time with him, but simply because he can avoid this anxiety-induced /carsickness/.
Every second in this car feels like it lasts over an hour, heart beating in his throat. +
Every second in this car feels like it lasts over an hour, heart beating in his throat. +
He’s glad that Shuuji put on some music and is singing along with it loudly,because Chuuya’s not sure he can say anything beyond begging him to slow down right now.
When the house rolls into view,Chuuya releases a shaky breath of relief.
Somehow it looks even more intimidating+
When the house rolls into view,Chuuya releases a shaky breath of relief.
Somehow it looks even more intimidating+
at night, with the walkway lit up and light spilling out from beneath the curtains on the huge, floor-length windows.
It looks like /someone/ is home, Chuuya thinks, heart skipping a beat.
The bags are a little heavier than what he’d expect for a two-person meal, but he +
It looks like /someone/ is home, Chuuya thinks, heart skipping a beat.
The bags are a little heavier than what he’d expect for a two-person meal, but he +
manages to carry them without dropping them. He has to kick the car door shut with his foot though, and making his way up the path without being able to see his feet is a little difficult.
Shuuji opens the door for him, poking his head inside like he’s an intruder looking for +
Shuuji opens the door for him, poking his head inside like he’s an intruder looking for +
anyone inside before entering
Chuuya follows, kicking off his shoes haphazardly and then he hears—
Double sets of paws scrambling over the hardwood, headed /straight/ for them. Normally, that’s the opposite of a problem, but Yoko jumped on him last time and he’s still holding+
Chuuya follows, kicking off his shoes haphazardly and then he hears—
Double sets of paws scrambling over the hardwood, headed /straight/ for them. Normally, that’s the opposite of a problem, but Yoko jumped on him last time and he’s still holding+
the /food/—
He braces himself for impact—
Then, a sharp order rings out, in some guttural language that Chuuya doesn’t immediately recognize, impossible to ignore simply because of how /firm/ it is.
Two thumps follow immediately after, and the sound of paws disappears. +
He braces himself for impact—
Then, a sharp order rings out, in some guttural language that Chuuya doesn’t immediately recognize, impossible to ignore simply because of how /firm/ it is.
Two thumps follow immediately after, and the sound of paws disappears. +
He twists his head to look, but he can’t see past Shuuji’s tall frame.
“Let me get those for you,” someone murmurs. Well, not /someone/, Chuuya would recognize that voice /anywhere/, even though he’s only heard it a few times.
Then the bags are being plucked from his grip, +
“Let me get those for you,” someone murmurs. Well, not /someone/, Chuuya would recognize that voice /anywhere/, even though he’s only heard it a few times.
Then the bags are being plucked from his grip, +
and he can see again.
And what he sees is Dazai— tall, wearing a button down with the sleeves rolled up— shooting Shuuji an exasperated look before turning around and heading for the kitchen.
The dogs are sitting, eyes locked intently on Dazai. He waves a hand as he passes,+
And what he sees is Dazai— tall, wearing a button down with the sleeves rolled up— shooting Shuuji an exasperated look before turning around and heading for the kitchen.
The dogs are sitting, eyes locked intently on Dazai. He waves a hand as he passes,+
some hand signal that Chuuya doesn’t know the meaning of, accompanied by a, “you can say hello now, Yoko.”
Shuuji dodges out of the way as the dogs jump forward, excited.
Chuuya ends up trapped in the entryway with Kozo sniffing intently at his shoes and feet while Yoko +
Shuuji dodges out of the way as the dogs jump forward, excited.
Chuuya ends up trapped in the entryway with Kozo sniffing intently at his shoes and feet while Yoko +
jumps and wiggles and licks at his hands, so excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself.
Chuuya laughs, crouching down and trying to get a hand on her as she whips around in a circle, fluffy tail smacking him in the face. “Easy there, I can’t pet you when you’re being +
Chuuya laughs, crouching down and trying to get a hand on her as she whips around in a circle, fluffy tail smacking him in the face. “Easy there, I can’t pet you when you’re being +
crazy.”
Kozo has moved onto sniffing his jacket. After another second, Yoko calms down a little more and Chuuya can finally sink his hands into her fur and scratch at the spots he knows she likes.
“Yeah, I missed you too, pretty girl,” he murmurs, a big smile on his face.+
Kozo has moved onto sniffing his jacket. After another second, Yoko calms down a little more and Chuuya can finally sink his hands into her fur and scratch at the spots he knows she likes.
“Yeah, I missed you too, pretty girl,” he murmurs, a big smile on his face.+
He does notice something different about her though—
Today, she’s wearing a pink bandana around her neck, printed with little white bones on it.
“Aww,” he cooes, squishing her face, “did you get dressed up for our date, pretty girl?”
She pants at him happily, tail whipping.+
Today, she’s wearing a pink bandana around her neck, printed with little white bones on it.
“Aww,” he cooes, squishing her face, “did you get dressed up for our date, pretty girl?”
She pants at him happily, tail whipping.+
Kozo, seemingly satisfied with his inspection, promptly presents his butt for scratching, giving him a doggy grin over his shoulder when Chuuya complies.
When Chuuya hears noises from the kitchen— what sounds like plates being taken out and the clink of silverware— he finishes+
When Chuuya hears noises from the kitchen— what sounds like plates being taken out and the clink of silverware— he finishes+
up saying hello, feeling a twinge of guilt.
Sure, he’s a guest, but his father always impressed on him the value of /helping/ and being polite.
With the dogs on his heels, he enters the kitchen, to find Shuuji pouring a glass of juice while Dazai plates the food.+
Sure, he’s a guest, but his father always impressed on him the value of /helping/ and being polite.
With the dogs on his heels, he enters the kitchen, to find Shuuji pouring a glass of juice while Dazai plates the food.+
“Is there anything I can do to help?” He asks. He’d set the table or something, but he doesn’t know where any of the utensils are.
Dazai— and he should /not/ look as hot as he does right now, muscles in his shoulders flexing and bunching as he transfers food— nods toward two +
Dazai— and he should /not/ look as hot as he does right now, muscles in his shoulders flexing and bunching as he transfers food— nods toward two +
silver bowls sitting on the edge of the counter. “You can give the dogs their dinner, if you’d like?”
He nods, skipping over with two eager guards on his heels. It makes it a bit difficult to walk without tripping over them, but he manages.
“They’ll sit and wait while you +
He nods, skipping over with two eager guards on his heels. It makes it a bit difficult to walk without tripping over them, but he manages.
“They’ll sit and wait while you +
set them up. When you’re ready, tell them to eat. They eat outside,” Dazai nods to the door that leads to the backyard.
Chuuya picks up the bowls, filled with food that honestly looks almost as gourmet as their own food does. Rice, a whole egg with the shell, shredded pieces of+
Chuuya picks up the bowls, filled with food that honestly looks almost as gourmet as their own food does. Rice, a whole egg with the shell, shredded pieces of+
some type of meat, and what looks like part of a smashed banana.
God, even the /dogs/ eat good here. It explains why their coats are so shiny and how they’re rippling with muscles— but /damn/.
Chuuya didn’t even know you could /feed/ a dog bananas.
Careful not to step on+
God, even the /dogs/ eat good here. It explains why their coats are so shiny and how they’re rippling with muscles— but /damn/.
Chuuya didn’t even know you could /feed/ a dog bananas.
Careful not to step on+
paws, he maneuvers outside.
Dazai’s right— the dogs /do/ sit as soon as they get outside, waiting patiently even though his every movement is tracked by two pairs of eager eyes.
There’s not a designated spot that he can see, so he just picks two spots on the porch, setting the+
Dazai’s right— the dogs /do/ sit as soon as they get outside, waiting patiently even though his every movement is tracked by two pairs of eager eyes.
There’s not a designated spot that he can see, so he just picks two spots on the porch, setting the+
bowls far enough apart that they won’t fight over the food.
Even when he steps back, the dogs don’t move, though Kozo makes a whining noise in the back of his throat.
“Eat,” Chuuya says, trying to be as firm as Dazai was with them earlier.
He doesn’t need to be though+
Even when he steps back, the dogs don’t move, though Kozo makes a whining noise in the back of his throat.
“Eat,” Chuuya says, trying to be as firm as Dazai was with them earlier.
He doesn’t need to be though+
because as soon as the last syllable is out of his mouth, the dogs are falling upon the bowls with savage hunger, jaws making wet snapping noises as they gobble up the food. Kozo even snarls at his meal before sinking his teeth in, and even though he’s usually a big, lazy oaf—+
It's easy to see why anyone would be afraid of him.
Working dogs are hungry dogs, he supposes, and leaves them to their savagery.
When he returns to the kitchen, Dazai has disappeared somewhere.Shuuji is just leaving with his hands full with a drink and his plate. He's heading+
Working dogs are hungry dogs, he supposes, and leaves them to their savagery.
When he returns to the kitchen, Dazai has disappeared somewhere.Shuuji is just leaving with his hands full with a drink and his plate. He's heading+
back to living room, Chuuya thinks.
Most people he knows eats in the dining room at a /table/, but so far, everything in this house is /weird/.
There's two plates and a bottle of water left on the counter. He takes the bottle, and looks at both the plates. He's not sure which+
Most people he knows eats in the dining room at a /table/, but so far, everything in this house is /weird/.
There's two plates and a bottle of water left on the counter. He takes the bottle, and looks at both the plates. He's not sure which+
is his, so he just takes the one that looks most appealing, following Shuuji out to the living room.
He's sitting on the floor, knees under the low table, and digging in voraciously as he searches for something to watch on the TV.
Chuuya can't help but feel disappointed. This+
He's sitting on the floor, knees under the low table, and digging in voraciously as he searches for something to watch on the TV.
Chuuya can't help but feel disappointed. This+
feels more like dinner with his /friends/ than dinner with a guy he likes--/might/ like-- and nowhere near what he was expecting for a /date/.
Is it always this anticlimactic? Where's the /excitement/, the butterflies, the /romance/?
Chuuya wouldn't exactly consider himself a+
Is it always this anticlimactic? Where's the /excitement/, the butterflies, the /romance/?
Chuuya wouldn't exactly consider himself a+
romantic person, but...
He wants more than /this/.
Pushing down his disappointment, he settles on the floor near Shuuji, placing down his food.
When Shuuji notices what's on his plate, his eyes widen. He swallows quickly, though his voice is still slightly muffled as he says,+
He wants more than /this/.
Pushing down his disappointment, he settles on the floor near Shuuji, placing down his food.
When Shuuji notices what's on his plate, his eyes widen. He swallows quickly, though his voice is still slightly muffled as he says,+
"That's not yours. You took the wrong one."
Well, how was /he/ supposed to know?!
With a sigh, he starts to get back up so he can swap the plates out when--
"No, it's fine. If he wants it, it's his,"comes from the back of the room.
He looks.
Dazai has returned from wherever+
Well, how was /he/ supposed to know?!
With a sigh, he starts to get back up so he can swap the plates out when--
"No, it's fine. If he wants it, it's his,"comes from the back of the room.
He looks.
Dazai has returned from wherever+
he left,and it looks like he went to wash his hands and maybe his face, because there's a drop of wetness sliding down his cheek and his bangs are sticking damply to his forehead.
He looks so /refreshingly/, effortlessly good that it makes Chuuya's heart ache just from being in+
He looks so /refreshingly/, effortlessly good that it makes Chuuya's heart ache just from being in+
close proximity with him.
Struggling to reorganize his thoughts, Chuuya starts, "I didn't mean to--."
Dazai turns his head, making devastating eye contact as his lips turn up into a smile. "I know you didn't, sweetheart," he responds, and Chuuya can feel that soothing rumble+
Struggling to reorganize his thoughts, Chuuya starts, "I didn't mean to--."
Dazai turns his head, making devastating eye contact as his lips turn up into a smile. "I know you didn't, sweetheart," he responds, and Chuuya can feel that soothing rumble+
in his /stomach/, making the floor drop out beneath him pleasantly, like he's floating on air.
"But like I said-- if you want it, it's yours."
Chuuya's traitor mind, fueled by his even more traitor body, immediately responds with a silent: 'what if I want /you?/'. +
"But like I said-- if you want it, it's yours."
Chuuya's traitor mind, fueled by his even more traitor body, immediately responds with a silent: 'what if I want /you?/'. +
And he does, he’s starting to realize that now, because what he feels for Shuuji,which was pure aesthetic admiration—
Is nothing close to the pure /attraction/ he feels for Dazai. Everything about him is appealing. His voice—the way it drips over his senses like molten caramel,+
Is nothing close to the pure /attraction/ he feels for Dazai. Everything about him is appealing. His voice—the way it drips over his senses like molten caramel,+
sliding down his spine and curling hotly in his stomach—, his eyes—which make Chuya feel pinned and admired at the same time, like Chuuya is a one-man show just for /him/—, his hair—which is soft and curly, and he wants his hands in it /so/ bad, wants to grab him by the hair and+
/pull/—
And probably the most appealing thing about him is his /attitude/, the way he simultaneously encourages Chuuya and lets him find his own limits, but there’s an undercurrent of /dominance/ there, how easily he controls and creates the situation.
It would be so /easy/+
And probably the most appealing thing about him is his /attitude/, the way he simultaneously encourages Chuuya and lets him find his own limits, but there’s an undercurrent of /dominance/ there, how easily he controls and creates the situation.
It would be so /easy/+
to fall apart underneath him, wouldn’t it?
Chuuya ducks his head, flushing. “Thanks.”
But at the same time his body /wants/ it, so desperately that not even the memory of ham-kisses can douse the smoldering in his belly—
It /feels/ wrong. Like he /shouldn’t/ want it, like+
Chuuya ducks his head, flushing. “Thanks.”
But at the same time his body /wants/ it, so desperately that not even the memory of ham-kisses can douse the smoldering in his belly—
It /feels/ wrong. Like he /shouldn’t/ want it, like+
he’s /betraying/ Shuuji somehow, even though he’s not sure if this even counts as an actual date, and they’re /definitely/ not dating.
And Chuuya is nothing if not painfully loyal, even to people he shouldn’t be.
“You’re welcome,” Dazai says back, and even though Chuuya was+
And Chuuya is nothing if not painfully loyal, even to people he shouldn’t be.
“You’re welcome,” Dazai says back, and even though Chuuya was+
/just/ telling himself how it was wrong, his stomach curls pleasantly at the approving tone.
God, what is /wrong/ with him? Why can’t he just like Shuuji like a normal person his age? Why does he have to thirst after his dad like some...
Like some /weirdo/ with daddy issues?+
God, what is /wrong/ with him? Why can’t he just like Shuuji like a normal person his age? Why does he have to thirst after his dad like some...
Like some /weirdo/ with daddy issues?+
(Which is not to say that he has anything against people with daddy issues. He doesn’t. It’s just that /he/ doesn’t have those issues.
His dad was active and loving in his life. Very strict, sure, but nothing that would make him like...this.)
He barely even tastes his food+
His dad was active and loving in his life. Very strict, sure, but nothing that would make him like...this.)
He barely even tastes his food+
with how fast his thoughts are spinning.
He does like the crab though, and he understands why Dazai would eat it so often, even though it’s usually not his preferred food.
Shuuji seems more intent on watching his show (which is violent enough that even Chuuya is raising an+
He does like the crab though, and he understands why Dazai would eat it so often, even though it’s usually not his preferred food.
Shuuji seems more intent on watching his show (which is violent enough that even Chuuya is raising an+
eyebrow at it and turning away from the gorey parts) than making any kind of small talk, which Chuuya is fine with at the moment.
Dazai doesn’t come back out of the kitchen, so he’s probably eating in there or at the table. Chuuya’s grateful for /that/, because he’s sure if he+
Dazai doesn’t come back out of the kitchen, so he’s probably eating in there or at the table. Chuuya’s grateful for /that/, because he’s sure if he+
saw his forearms subtly flexing as he used his chopsticks Chuuya’s mind was going to shut off again.
Shuji finishes a few moments before him, slumping heavily back against the couch.He doesn’t get up to bring his plate back to the kitchen.
When Chuuya gets up to return his own+
Shuji finishes a few moments before him, slumping heavily back against the couch.He doesn’t get up to bring his plate back to the kitchen.
When Chuuya gets up to return his own+
plate, he silently brings Shuuji’s plate along with him.
/ Remember Chuuya, no one likes people who are rude or /messy/. /
The kitchen is empty when he enters, but the back door is open, so he’s assuming that Dazai is somewhere out there with the dogs. If he listens closely,+
/ Remember Chuuya, no one likes people who are rude or /messy/. /
The kitchen is empty when he enters, but the back door is open, so he’s assuming that Dazai is somewhere out there with the dogs. If he listens closely,+
he can hear the sounds of running and what might be a ball hitting the back fence.
The last plate is missing, but it’s not in the sink either. Maybe Dazai took it out with him.
Chuuya sets the plates in the sink, getting ready to wash them when he sees /it/—
+
The last plate is missing, but it’s not in the sink either. Maybe Dazai took it out with him.
Chuuya sets the plates in the sink, getting ready to wash them when he sees /it/—
+
/The wine rack/.
It’s not that full, and to the truthful, it looks /way/ more neglected than it should be—the bottles of whiskey and rum nearby are spotless, while all the wine is covered with a light layer of dust—but it’s /beautiful/.
The furniture is beautiful too, but what+
It’s not that full, and to the truthful, it looks /way/ more neglected than it should be—the bottles of whiskey and rum nearby are spotless, while all the wine is covered with a light layer of dust—but it’s /beautiful/.
The furniture is beautiful too, but what+
Chuuya is talking about are the /labels/.
Château Pavie-Decesse. Château Lamartine. Gokan Heights Winery. Clos Fourtet.
All of them /good/ brands, /way/ better than any wine Chuuya has ever drink with his father, and god he just wants to pop one open and /chug/—
“Would you+
Château Pavie-Decesse. Château Lamartine. Gokan Heights Winery. Clos Fourtet.
All of them /good/ brands, /way/ better than any wine Chuuya has ever drink with his father, and god he just wants to pop one open and /chug/—
“Would you+
like a glass?"
Chuuya jumps, not expecting someone to speak behind him, and he whirls around--
It's Dazai, naturally, closer than Chuuya expects, close enough that their height difference is /glaringly/ obvious. Shuuji is tall, but Dazai is /towering/, so broad that he blocks+
Chuuya jumps, not expecting someone to speak behind him, and he whirls around--
It's Dazai, naturally, closer than Chuuya expects, close enough that their height difference is /glaringly/ obvious. Shuuji is tall, but Dazai is /towering/, so broad that he blocks+
out the rest of the room. And if that weren't enough--
His presence seems to suck out all the air in the atmosphere.
Chuuya licks his lips, knees going weak when he sees brown eyes flicker to the motion before dragging back up. The legal drinking age in Japan is 20, and it's +
His presence seems to suck out all the air in the atmosphere.
Chuuya licks his lips, knees going weak when he sees brown eyes flicker to the motion before dragging back up. The legal drinking age in Japan is 20, and it's +
not like Dazai offered to get him wasted on shots of vodka but--
It still feels /dangerous/. The intoxicating, hair-raising, stomach-dropping, heart-racing feeling of breaking the /rules/.
Chuuya grips the counter behind him, trying to play it cool, even as he starts to feel+
It still feels /dangerous/. The intoxicating, hair-raising, stomach-dropping, heart-racing feeling of breaking the /rules/.
Chuuya grips the counter behind him, trying to play it cool, even as he starts to feel+
burned alive by the heat pouring off of Dazai's body. "Am I allowed to have one?"
The smile is slow, teasing, like Dazai knows something he doesn't know, like he just figured something /out/. He steps forward, closer, and the tips of their toes are /almost/ touching.
Chuuya's +
The smile is slow, teasing, like Dazai knows something he doesn't know, like he just figured something /out/. He steps forward, closer, and the tips of their toes are /almost/ touching.
Chuuya's +
breath stalls in his chest, and his entire world hangs in the balance, time slowing to a crawl as Dazai moves his arm, reaching out, eyes locked on his face as he--
Pulls a wineglass off the rack above his head.
"Of course," Dazai purrs, smug as he brandishes the glass, "that +
Pulls a wineglass off the rack above his head.
"Of course," Dazai purrs, smug as he brandishes the glass, "that +
is-- as long as you promise to /behave/."
/Fuck/, that sentence shouldn't be as hot as it is, as /controlling/ as it sounds--
His temperature is steadily rising, stoked higher with every move Dazai makes as he pulls out a wine opener from the drawer beside Chuuya.
Before he +
/Fuck/, that sentence shouldn't be as hot as it is, as /controlling/ as it sounds--
His temperature is steadily rising, stoked higher with every move Dazai makes as he pulls out a wine opener from the drawer beside Chuuya.
Before he +
can /stop/ himself, he fires back, "and what if I don't?"
Dazai hums thoughtfully, pulling a bottle off the shelf. One of the better brands. With strong, confident movements, he screws the wine opener into the cork.
With one quick pull, bicep flexing, he yanks the cork out.+
Dazai hums thoughtfully, pulling a bottle off the shelf. One of the better brands. With strong, confident movements, he screws the wine opener into the cork.
With one quick pull, bicep flexing, he yanks the cork out.+
/God/, he's so /strong/.
With steady hands, he pours him a generous glass. He swirls the wine inside,red liquid sticking to the glass briefly before sliding back down.
It looks like blood. It looks like temptation, and with Dazai's long, elegant fingers presenting him with the+
With steady hands, he pours him a generous glass. He swirls the wine inside,red liquid sticking to the glass briefly before sliding back down.
It looks like blood. It looks like temptation, and with Dazai's long, elegant fingers presenting him with the+
glass--
It looks like /sin/.
Fighting to keep his fingers steady, Chuuya reaches for the glass, deliberately brushing their fingers together. Dazai's fingers are rough, obviously used to working.
For a second, Dazai doesn't release the glass, holding it there between them. He+
It looks like /sin/.
Fighting to keep his fingers steady, Chuuya reaches for the glass, deliberately brushing their fingers together. Dazai's fingers are rough, obviously used to working.
For a second, Dazai doesn't release the glass, holding it there between them. He+
doesn't /quite/ whisper in Chuuya's ear, but he does lean down, closing the distance between them.
Chuuya is leaning up, and he is /definitely/ willing to try that whole kissing thing, and at this point, he doesn't even /care/ if Dazai tastes like ham, all he wants is his +
Chuuya is leaning up, and he is /definitely/ willing to try that whole kissing thing, and at this point, he doesn't even /care/ if Dazai tastes like ham, all he wants is his +
tongue in his /mouth/, he's willing to do /anything/ to get it--
His next words fall into the hot, intimate space between them with devastating impact. "Would you like to find out?"
/Yes/, yes, /god/ yes, he wants to find out, so badly--
Then Dazai is leaning back again, +
His next words fall into the hot, intimate space between them with devastating impact. "Would you like to find out?"
/Yes/, yes, /god/ yes, he wants to find out, so badly--
Then Dazai is leaning back again, +
straightening to his full height,and is Chuuya disappointed that he's not within kissing distance anymore? Yes.
Is he disappointed that he's now eye-level with Dazai's chest, and at some point,another button had come undone on his shirt, revealing a /sharply/ defined collarbone+
Is he disappointed that he's now eye-level with Dazai's chest, and at some point,another button had come undone on his shirt, revealing a /sharply/ defined collarbone+
and hinting at powerful muscles further down?
Absolutely not.
Dazai reaches up again, and Chuuya watches with thinly veiled fascination as his shirt draws taut with the movement, clinging tight to his body for a long, delicious moment.
Then he's pulling down a whiskey tumbler+
Absolutely not.
Dazai reaches up again, and Chuuya watches with thinly veiled fascination as his shirt draws taut with the movement, clinging tight to his body for a long, delicious moment.
Then he's pulling down a whiskey tumbler+
and pulling out a bottle of whiskey-- Chuuya doesn't recognize the brand, but he's sure it's just as expensive-- to pour himself a glass.
He doesn't move away, not even an inch, and the way his eyes don't leave Chuuya's face even as he pours is /meltingly/ hot.
Chuuya swirls+
He doesn't move away, not even an inch, and the way his eyes don't leave Chuuya's face even as he pours is /meltingly/ hot.
Chuuya swirls+
his wine, buying himself time. By all real standards, he should let it breathe a little longer, but he /needs/ something to occupy himself before he does something stupid, like ask Dazai to kiss him.
He takes a sip, making a delighted sound at the flavors that burst over his +
He takes a sip, making a delighted sound at the flavors that burst over his +
tongue. It's deep, dark, hints of pomegranate and grape, and surprisingly sweet.
Dazai's grin widens at the noise, taking a long, slow sip of his own drink. Chuuya has had whiskey before, and the taste is always too strong and the heat it brings to his belly is too strong, but+
Dazai's grin widens at the noise, taking a long, slow sip of his own drink. Chuuya has had whiskey before, and the taste is always too strong and the heat it brings to his belly is too strong, but+
watching the way Dazai doesn't even flinch at the state and even seems to /savor/ it?
Surprisingly hot.
"I knew you'd like it sweet," Dazai murmurs, proud arrogance in his voice.
/That/ makes Chuuya curious. What else has he /guessed/ about him?
Did he /think/ about Chuuya?+
Surprisingly hot.
"I knew you'd like it sweet," Dazai murmurs, proud arrogance in his voice.
/That/ makes Chuuya curious. What else has he /guessed/ about him?
Did he /think/ about Chuuya?+
...Did he think about Chuuya the way he thought about /Dazai/?
He opens his mouth--
"Hey! Where's my drink?"
And like a fucking glass of water from the Artic Ocean, Shuuji once again /murders/ the moment.
Is he imagining it, or is that /disappointment/ on Dazai's face for a +
He opens his mouth--
"Hey! Where's my drink?"
And like a fucking glass of water from the Artic Ocean, Shuuji once again /murders/ the moment.
Is he imagining it, or is that /disappointment/ on Dazai's face for a +
fraction of a second before it smooths out once again?
To be honest, it's good that Shuuji can't see his face from this angle and that Dazai has finally broken eye contact as he reaches for another glass, because he can't help the reflexive scowl.
He smothers the irritation+
To be honest, it's good that Shuuji can't see his face from this angle and that Dazai has finally broken eye contact as he reaches for another glass, because he can't help the reflexive scowl.
He smothers the irritation+
with another sip of wine.
To be truthful, it kind of bothers him that Shuuji caught Dazai crowding him against the counter, less than a foot away from him,and it doesn't seem to phase him at /all/.
(He /knows/ it's not exactly healthy, but /fuck/, he's always found the idea of+
To be truthful, it kind of bothers him that Shuuji caught Dazai crowding him against the counter, less than a foot away from him,and it doesn't seem to phase him at /all/.
(He /knows/ it's not exactly healthy, but /fuck/, he's always found the idea of+
his partner being possessive, maybe even /dangerously/ possessive is hot.)
But Shuuji just takes the glass offered to him with a unbothered smile, and pours himself a /large/ glass of whiskey. A /cup/ of whiskey in fact, even more than Dazai has.
He takes a sip, and his face +
But Shuuji just takes the glass offered to him with a unbothered smile, and pours himself a /large/ glass of whiskey. A /cup/ of whiskey in fact, even more than Dazai has.
He takes a sip, and his face +
/immediately/ twists into a grimace. Then--and Chuuya can't believe he's actually witnessing this-- he /spits the whiskey back into the cup/.
It's funny. Glaringly unattractive, but funny, like watching a baby try his first drink of alcohol.
Dazai stares at him, eyes and +
It's funny. Glaringly unattractive, but funny, like watching a baby try his first drink of alcohol.
Dazai stares at him, eyes and +
expression blank, like he's so absolutely done with life and is in so much pain. Then, tipping his head back, he downs the rest of his glass in one swallow.
(/Hot/, Chuuya's mind whispers, but he does his best to ignore it.)
The next glass he pours is visibly larger than the+
(/Hot/, Chuuya's mind whispers, but he does his best to ignore it.)
The next glass he pours is visibly larger than the+
last one.
"I'll be in my office if you need me," he mutters, taking the bottle of whiskey with him as he leaves the kitchen.
Chuuya mourns that he's leaving, but they view as he walks away is /great/, so he supposes it's not all bad.
Shuuji's whiskey gets poured down the sink+
"I'll be in my office if you need me," he mutters, taking the bottle of whiskey with him as he leaves the kitchen.
Chuuya mourns that he's leaving, but they view as he walks away is /great/, so he supposes it's not all bad.
Shuuji's whiskey gets poured down the sink+
and Chuuya doesn't even /drink/ whiskey, but even he knows that's a sin. He could smell how expensive it was.
At the same time, he's glad though, because Shuuji is (supposed) to be his ride home tonight, and he's a bad enough driver /without/ being drunk.
(If he /had/ been +
At the same time, he's glad though, because Shuuji is (supposed) to be his ride home tonight, and he's a bad enough driver /without/ being drunk.
(If he /had/ been +
drinking, maybe he could've asked Dazai for a ride home instead.
Or spent the night. In his bed--.)
Because his glass of wine is nearly empty, Chuuya allows himself to pour another glass. He hasn't had nearly enough to be tipsy, because the alcohol leaves a pleasant warmth in+
Or spent the night. In his bed--.)
Because his glass of wine is nearly empty, Chuuya allows himself to pour another glass. He hasn't had nearly enough to be tipsy, because the alcohol leaves a pleasant warmth in+
his belly, beginning to buzz in his veins.
Shuuji slides closer, a sly grin on his face. "You like the taste of wine?"
Chuuya offers him a small smile. It's a stupidly obvious question, but he can be gracious."Yeah. It's my favorite alcohol."
With dread building in his veins,+
Shuuji slides closer, a sly grin on his face. "You like the taste of wine?"
Chuuya offers him a small smile. It's a stupidly obvious question, but he can be gracious."Yeah. It's my favorite alcohol."
With dread building in his veins,+
Chuuya watches him take the bottle in hand and raise it to his lips.
If he spits /that/ out, Chuuya is actually going to cry. Maybe go join Dazai in his office so they can drink together about wasted alcohol.
He takes a long drink straight from the bottle, like a teenaged +
If he spits /that/ out, Chuuya is actually going to cry. Maybe go join Dazai in his office so they can drink together about wasted alcohol.
He takes a long drink straight from the bottle, like a teenaged +
heathen, and Chuuya feels like he's watching a crime happen in real time.
With bated breath, he waits to see him spit out the wine, nerves on edge--
But instead, from an outside perspective,he does something /worse./
Lurching forward,he grabs Chuuya's chin in a harsh grip and+
With bated breath, he waits to see him spit out the wine, nerves on edge--
But instead, from an outside perspective,he does something /worse./
Lurching forward,he grabs Chuuya's chin in a harsh grip and+
forcibly keeps him in place as he crushes their lips together.
It's not so much a kiss as it is smashes their faces together almost-painfully. It's /marginally/ better than the first kiss, but only in that Shuuji tastes and smells like the wine.
That's probably why Chuuya lets+
It's not so much a kiss as it is smashes their faces together almost-painfully. It's /marginally/ better than the first kiss, but only in that Shuuji tastes and smells like the wine.
That's probably why Chuuya lets+
it go on as long as he does, mildly curious if it'll get better or if it'll stoke the heat that Dazai stirred in him.
It doesn't. In fact, with how enthusiastically Shuuji is kissing him even though Chuuya is barely responding, lips soaked with saliva--
It's a complete and+
It doesn't. In fact, with how enthusiastically Shuuji is kissing him even though Chuuya is barely responding, lips soaked with saliva--
It's a complete and+
utter turn off. So much so that he feels like he just took an ice bath.
With a silent sigh, Chuuya plants his hand against Shuuji's chest to push him off. Again,it takes too much strength than he should /have/ to use to get him off, but he manages.
Shuuji growls, "What /now/?"+
With a silent sigh, Chuuya plants his hand against Shuuji's chest to push him off. Again,it takes too much strength than he should /have/ to use to get him off, but he manages.
Shuuji growls, "What /now/?"+
That makes Chuuya frown. Why is he so irritated? It's not like Chuuya is saying to /never/ kiss him again, he's just not into it right /now/.
Besides, it's getting late, and he has class tomorrow morning. He wants to wake up early to make sure he's on time and ready for the +
Besides, it's getting late, and he has class tomorrow morning. He wants to wake up early to make sure he's on time and ready for the +
first day.
They have time for kissing later, and Chuuya will /try/ to like it again. But he can't afford to fall behind in class, not even a little bit.
"I want to go home," he says.
Shuuji lets out a heavy sigh. "Already? But I wanted to spend time with you."
A frisson of +
They have time for kissing later, and Chuuya will /try/ to like it again. But he can't afford to fall behind in class, not even a little bit.
"I want to go home," he says.
Shuuji lets out a heavy sigh. "Already? But I wanted to spend time with you."
A frisson of +
guilt runs through him. He /did/ agree to dinner with him, and he spent most of it either in silence or having sexual tension with his dad. That wasn’t fair of him.
Keeping Shuuji in place, he brushes his lips over his, a tiny apology kiss that he doesn’t let go any further. +
Keeping Shuuji in place, he brushes his lips over his, a tiny apology kiss that he doesn’t let go any further. +
“I’ll make it up to you,” he promises, ignoring the unsettling feeling in his stomach at the flash of Shuuji’s eyes, “we can go to dinner again soon.”
Shuuji smiles at him, irritation melting off his face. For a second, he looks boyishly cute, with his hair falling in his eyes+
Shuuji smiles at him, irritation melting off his face. For a second, he looks boyishly cute, with his hair falling in his eyes+
and a crooked smile.
He’s... not /so/ bad, is he? Clumsy, and a bit rude, and obviously needs to be taught /some/ manners, but not /so/ bad.
Right?
“Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll take you home.”
Chuuya smiles at him gratefully.
Just then, the dogs come scrabbling back +
He’s... not /so/ bad, is he? Clumsy, and a bit rude, and obviously needs to be taught /some/ manners, but not /so/ bad.
Right?
“Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll take you home.”
Chuuya smiles at him gratefully.
Just then, the dogs come scrabbling back +
inside, nipping at eachothers heels.
Their game is stopped short when Yoko notices Shuuji and Chuuya in the kitchen, apparently pressed too close together for her liking.
Walking over with stiff legs and a still tail, she uses her nose to find a gap between them and literally+
Their game is stopped short when Yoko notices Shuuji and Chuuya in the kitchen, apparently pressed too close together for her liking.
Walking over with stiff legs and a still tail, she uses her nose to find a gap between them and literally+
shoves her way between them, forcing Shuuji back a step.
(Chuuya will never admit it, but he’s a little grateful for that, because Shuuji was still leaning heavily on his hand, and it was getting a bit tiring holding him back.)
Shuuji backs off with minimal grumbling, avoiding+
(Chuuya will never admit it, but he’s a little grateful for that, because Shuuji was still leaning heavily on his hand, and it was getting a bit tiring holding him back.)
Shuuji backs off with minimal grumbling, avoiding+
Kozo, who has settled on the floor, legs spread out.
Crouching down to fix Yoko’s bandana, he pets her head gratefully. She sits nicely for him, tail thumping against the cabinets and tongue lolling out.
“Good girl,” he murmurs quietly, then louder, “I’m going home now.”+
Crouching down to fix Yoko’s bandana, he pets her head gratefully. She sits nicely for him, tail thumping against the cabinets and tongue lolling out.
“Good girl,” he murmurs quietly, then louder, “I’m going home now.”+
She doesn’t understand, but she gives him a warm lick on his hand.
He downs the rest of his wine quickly, and when Yoko sniffs it with interest, he reaches in to wet his fingers with the remaining wine in the glass.
Curious to see if she’ll drink it, he offers her his fingers.+
He downs the rest of his wine quickly, and when Yoko sniffs it with interest, he reaches in to wet his fingers with the remaining wine in the glass.
Curious to see if she’ll drink it, he offers her his fingers.+
She tests it cautiously with a single swipe—
And then proceeds to find every trace of wine on his skin and lick it off.
He giggles. “Just between you and me,” he whispers, “you’re /definitely/ my favorite.”
Her tail thumps again, a secret shared and held between friends.+
And then proceeds to find every trace of wine on his skin and lick it off.
He giggles. “Just between you and me,” he whispers, “you’re /definitely/ my favorite.”
Her tail thumps again, a secret shared and held between friends.+
He cleans up the kitchen quickly, rinsing out his glass and washing at least /his/ plate.
Then, with a quick goodbye to Kozo, who is now rumbling sleepily on the kitchen floor, he tells Shuuji he’s ready to leave.
He pauses when he’s about to put his shoes back on. “Should we+
Then, with a quick goodbye to Kozo, who is now rumbling sleepily on the kitchen floor, he tells Shuuji he’s ready to leave.
He pauses when he’s about to put his shoes back on. “Should we+
tell your dad we’re leaving?”
Shuuji shrugs. “I don’t think he cares, but sure, if you want.”
He doesn’t move off the couch himself, clearly leaving the task up to Chuuya.
He can’t say he’s complaining, to be honest. It’s only been a few minutes since he /last/ saw Dazai,+
Shuuji shrugs. “I don’t think he cares, but sure, if you want.”
He doesn’t move off the couch himself, clearly leaving the task up to Chuuya.
He can’t say he’s complaining, to be honest. It’s only been a few minutes since he /last/ saw Dazai,+
but he’s already starving for another look.
Yoko follows him upstairs, waiting at the bottom step as he ascends and then barreling up after him.
He’s not actually sure where Dazai’s ‘office’ is, but he checks the rooms Shuuji showed him the first time he was here—
This time,+
Yoko follows him upstairs, waiting at the bottom step as he ascends and then barreling up after him.
He’s not actually sure where Dazai’s ‘office’ is, but he checks the rooms Shuuji showed him the first time he was here—
This time,+
the door is /open/. Just a crack, but open.
Chuuya hésitâtes outside. He /did/ say he would be in his office if they needed him, which implies that they’re allowed to interrupt him but—
/ “I don’t think he cares—“ /
Hé grits his teeth. Maybe he shouldn’t? It doesn’t really+
Chuuya hésitâtes outside. He /did/ say he would be in his office if they needed him, which implies that they’re allowed to interrupt him but—
/ “I don’t think he cares—“ /
Hé grits his teeth. Maybe he shouldn’t? It doesn’t really+
/matter/, he just wants to be /polite/ and—
What if he’s busy too? Chuuya doesn’t want to interrupt anything.
Yoko, apparently fed up with Chuuya hovering outside her dad’s door like a weirdo, takes the exact moment when Chuuya is deciding to creep back downstairs unnoticed—+
What if he’s busy too? Chuuya doesn’t want to interrupt anything.
Yoko, apparently fed up with Chuuya hovering outside her dad’s door like a weirdo, takes the exact moment when Chuuya is deciding to creep back downstairs unnoticed—+
To trot happily into the room, shoving the door open, tail and head held high, like she’s saying ‘hey dad! Look what I brought you!’.
A dark, whiskey-colored gaze /instantly/ finds him in the doorway, pinning him in place, taking all the air in the room and replacing it with +
A dark, whiskey-colored gaze /instantly/ finds him in the doorway, pinning him in place, taking all the air in the room and replacing it with +
liquid-fire adrenaline.
They stand there, for how long Chuuya doesn’t know, because his heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s throbbing out of his /chest/—
Then Dazai’s lips quirk up, jaw moving and for the first time, Chuuya notices:
He has something in his /mouth/.+
They stand there, for how long Chuuya doesn’t know, because his heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s throbbing out of his /chest/—
Then Dazai’s lips quirk up, jaw moving and for the first time, Chuuya notices:
He has something in his /mouth/.+
From this far, he can’t tell what it is, but it’s small and black.
Maybe a pen? A Bobby pin? A key to something?
He doesn’t know, and frankly he doesn’t /care/, because either way it’s /distracting, wet with saliva, drawing attention to the fullness of his bottom lip, and +
Maybe a pen? A Bobby pin? A key to something?
He doesn’t know, and frankly he doesn’t /care/, because either way it’s /distracting, wet with saliva, drawing attention to the fullness of his bottom lip, and +
it’s clear Dazai is playing with it with his /tongue/, moving it back and forth, and Chuuya /cannot/ look away, can’t stop thinking about how much he wants to /bite/ that lip, wants to replace that makeshift chew toy, wants to be /in Dazai’s mouth—/.
“Not that the staring isn’t+
“Not that the staring isn’t+
flattering, but did you need something, doll?”
/Fuck/. The words break him out of his daze, but the /voice/ just sends tingles down his spine, the darkly amused tone setting gasoline on the fire that Chuuya has become.
Embarrassingly, /so/ fucking embarrassingly, he stutters,+
/Fuck/. The words break him out of his daze, but the /voice/ just sends tingles down his spine, the darkly amused tone setting gasoline on the fire that Chuuya has become.
Embarrassingly, /so/ fucking embarrassingly, he stutters,+
“I-uh. I, uhm, was just letting you know that I’m going home. Shuuji is— He’s gonna drive me home. Now.”
/Shut up,/ he silently screams at himself, /shut up, you look /so/ stupid right now./
Oblivious to the tension, Yoko moves to sit between Dazai’s spread thighs, laying her+
/Shut up,/ he silently screams at himself, /shut up, you look /so/ stupid right now./
Oblivious to the tension, Yoko moves to sit between Dazai’s spread thighs, laying her+
head on his thigh.
Should the way his free hand drops to her hand and starts absentmindedly rubbing her ears without breaking eye contact be so /hot/?
(Chuuya can imagine it, that same hand, that same motion, just a /little/ higher, between his legs as he watches Chuuya— +
Should the way his free hand drops to her hand and starts absentmindedly rubbing her ears without breaking eye contact be so /hot/?
(Chuuya can imagine it, that same hand, that same motion, just a /little/ higher, between his legs as he watches Chuuya— +
/No/, he cannot imagine, actually. In fact, he /won’t/.
Self control, thy name is Nakahara Chuuya.)
“Alright,” Dazai responds, “thank you for letting me know, and thank you for coming to dinner. You were a treat to have.”
That...
He has to be playing with him, right? He +
Self control, thy name is Nakahara Chuuya.)
“Alright,” Dazai responds, “thank you for letting me know, and thank you for coming to dinner. You were a treat to have.”
That...
He has to be playing with him, right? He +
barely even saw the man, and they spoke for like, 5 minutes max? He didn’t /do/ anything to be called a treat.
But he’s not rude about it. “Thank you for having me,” he mumbles back, bowing his head briefly.
Then, before he can say anything /else/ embarrassing, he ducks out+
But he’s not rude about it. “Thank you for having me,” he mumbles back, bowing his head briefly.
Then, before he can say anything /else/ embarrassing, he ducks out+
with a, “see you.”
It’s such a common goodbye, something that he says almost all the time that he doesn’t realize the /implication/ behind it:
That he’ll come back. That he’ll see Dazai again, that he /wants/ to see Dazai again.
Dazai certainly /doesn’t/ miss the context+
It’s such a common goodbye, something that he says almost all the time that he doesn’t realize the /implication/ behind it:
That he’ll come back. That he’ll see Dazai again, that he /wants/ to see Dazai again.
Dazai certainly /doesn’t/ miss the context+
though, and his lips turn up in a /different/ kind of smile.
“We will, won’t we, girl?” He murmurs, petting Yoko comfortingly as she whines when he doesn’t let her chase after Chuuya.
He chews thoughtfully on the toy in his mouth—it’s essentially just ice on a stick, something+
“We will, won’t we, girl?” He murmurs, petting Yoko comfortingly as she whines when he doesn’t let her chase after Chuuya.
He chews thoughtfully on the toy in his mouth—it’s essentially just ice on a stick, something+
he uses when he’s drinking whiskey. He hates watering down his drink, and it keeps his mouth occupied— and wonders what, exactly, will come of next time.
And, for the first time in a long time, he’s excited to see what happens next.
—————
+
And, for the first time in a long time, he’s excited to see what happens next.
—————
+
Generally, Dazai does not allow himself to drink that often or that heavily. A clouded mind, in his business, often leads to the worst kind of deaths.
Today, though...
Today, he has to make an exception.
His self-control has /always/ been exceptional, far above most people+
Today, though...
Today, he has to make an exception.
His self-control has /always/ been exceptional, far above most people+
he knows. He’s honed it for many years, until his body finally gave into the whims of his mind.
Dazai is controlled. Dazai /is/ control.
So /why/ can’t he get a pair of big, shiny blue eyes out of his /head/?
He feels /haunted/ by them, like he can’t escape. Everywhere he+
Dazai is controlled. Dazai /is/ control.
So /why/ can’t he get a pair of big, shiny blue eyes out of his /head/?
He feels /haunted/ by them, like he can’t escape. Everywhere he+
turns, there they are, bright and piercing and /so/ receptive.
Beautifully responsive. It’s practically a /crime/.
It makes it /so/ hard, because the harder he pushes, the more he beckons, the more Chuuya /melts/ for him, rising up to meet him so perfectly that Dazai feels+
Beautifully responsive. It’s practically a /crime/.
It makes it /so/ hard, because the harder he pushes, the more he beckons, the more Chuuya /melts/ for him, rising up to meet him so perfectly that Dazai feels+
breathless with it.
He wants. Wants /so/ much.
Wants to take that layer of inexperience that Chuuya is hidden behind and strip it from him with his /teeth/, wants his fingerprints imprinted on pale, perfect skin, wants to show Chuuya what it’d be like when Dazai is /really/ +
He wants. Wants /so/ much.
Wants to take that layer of inexperience that Chuuya is hidden behind and strip it from him with his /teeth/, wants his fingerprints imprinted on pale, perfect skin, wants to show Chuuya what it’d be like when Dazai is /really/ +
looking at him.
Because that adorable little flush in the kitchen, then again in the hallway? /So/ cute, it made him want to pin him against the wall.
Or over the desk.
Or on the bed, he doesn’t /care/.
How far does that flush go, he wonders absently, nursing his... +
Because that adorable little flush in the kitchen, then again in the hallway? /So/ cute, it made him want to pin him against the wall.
Or over the desk.
Or on the bed, he doesn’t /care/.
How far does that flush go, he wonders absently, nursing his... +
fourth? Glass of whiskey.
It’s too many. He’s not drunk or even tipsy, but his mind is just /barely/ clouded, knocked off it’s axis and spinning wildly.
After the last few days, his self-control is... not /gone/, but definitely stretched to a breaking point, and Dazai is+
It’s too many. He’s not drunk or even tipsy, but his mind is just /barely/ clouded, knocked off it’s axis and spinning wildly.
After the last few days, his self-control is... not /gone/, but definitely stretched to a breaking point, and Dazai is+
ready to snap.
And why shouldn’t he? Allow himself something? He’s been good, followed all his rules and did all his work, even when it sucked.
Work without play is no fun, after all.
Besides, he’s home. Shuuji is in his room, the dogs are somewhere in the house and—
It’s+
And why shouldn’t he? Allow himself something? He’s been good, followed all his rules and did all his work, even when it sucked.
Work without play is no fun, after all.
Besides, he’s home. Shuuji is in his room, the dogs are somewhere in the house and—
It’s+
3am, the prime time of the night for making bad decisions and—
Dazai is hard.
Well,not all the way, not /yet/. But there’s a grain of heat growing in his stomach since two days ago, when his thigh ended up between two /gorgeous/ legs, and all Dazai wanted to do was press /up/.+
Dazai is hard.
Well,not all the way, not /yet/. But there’s a grain of heat growing in his stomach since two days ago, when his thigh ended up between two /gorgeous/ legs, and all Dazai wanted to do was press /up/.+
Then, in the kitchen, with Chuuya pinned between him and the counter and /eager/ for it, arching closer. His eyeliner made his eyes seem darker, deep enough to lose himself in and let /go/.
(Could he take it? If Dazai /really/ lost control?
...would he /like/ it?)
Yeah, he+
(Could he take it? If Dazai /really/ lost control?
...would he /like/ it?)
Yeah, he+
wants.
His resolve to not /do/ anything about that desire might be thinning during the day—
But now, four drinks in and hazy with exhaustion? That resolve is /gone/.
His free hand creeps up his slacks, finding his crotch and palming the forming bulge there. Head dropping+
His resolve to not /do/ anything about that desire might be thinning during the day—
But now, four drinks in and hazy with exhaustion? That resolve is /gone/.
His free hand creeps up his slacks, finding his crotch and palming the forming bulge there. Head dropping+
back on a sigh, he takes a long moment to just enjoy the heat of himself, teasingly tracing the outline with the tip of his finger.
It’s been a while since he took care of himself, and even longer since he went to the usual club he goes to, so—
He wants to /savor/ this. Draw+
It’s been a while since he took care of himself, and even longer since he went to the usual club he goes to, so—
He wants to /savor/ this. Draw+
it out, taffy sweet, until he can’t take it anymore and he breaks under the strain.
Besides, he muses as he takes another sip, if he’s only going to allow himself this /once/, he might as well enjoy it as much as he can, right?
The rush of the whiskey is in him now, flooding+
Besides, he muses as he takes another sip, if he’s only going to allow himself this /once/, he might as well enjoy it as much as he can, right?
The rush of the whiskey is in him now, flooding+
him with intoxicating warmth, sending his senses spinning.
On the next rub, he can’t help but roll his hips upward, meeting himself halfway. He hisses softly as the increased friction, and he hardens that much further, beginning to pulse under his grip.
Then—
His mind +
On the next rub, he can’t help but roll his hips upward, meeting himself halfway. He hisses softly as the increased friction, and he hardens that much further, beginning to pulse under his grip.
Then—
His mind +
begins to wander.
He expected it to, so he doesn’t bother trying to fight it. Instead, he lets himself sink into his imagination.
Earlier, he’d noticed how /small/ Chuuya’s hands were. Nothing unexpected, considering he’s small all over, but still /exciting/.
Dazai is +
He expected it to, so he doesn’t bother trying to fight it. Instead, he lets himself sink into his imagination.
Earlier, he’d noticed how /small/ Chuuya’s hands were. Nothing unexpected, considering he’s small all over, but still /exciting/.
Dazai is +
/bigger/ than most people his height and it’s both a blessing and a curse.
Obviously, who /doesn’t/ like having a big cock— but he likes his partners /small/
And some of them? Just can’t take it. Watching them struggle for it is hot, but for some—
It just can’t be done. +
Obviously, who /doesn’t/ like having a big cock— but he likes his partners /small/
And some of them? Just can’t take it. Watching them struggle for it is hot, but for some—
It just can’t be done. +
What kind of person is Chuuya, he wonders, pressing down harder on the next grind up. His slacks are getting tighter, and the friction of the fabric rides the line of discomfort, but it feels /so/ good, building him up into something frantic.
Would he say it’s too much? Or +
Would he say it’s too much? Or +
would he work for it, trembling and gasping and crying until he could take it all?
He’d look /so/ pretty on him, around him, stretched to his limit and still asking for more.
He’d make him beg, Dazai decides on a shuddering exhale, finding the head of his cock through his+
He’d look /so/ pretty on him, around him, stretched to his limit and still asking for more.
He’d make him beg, Dazai decides on a shuddering exhale, finding the head of his cock through his+
slacks and tracing the ridge of it.
Beg until he was breathless, until he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, until he /cried/.
Then, and /only/ then, would he give him both what they wanted.
His cock gives a pointed throb in his pants, and now the friction isn’t +
Beg until he was breathless, until he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, until he /cried/.
Then, and /only/ then, would he give him both what they wanted.
His cock gives a pointed throb in his pants, and now the friction isn’t +
/enough/ and he’s hungry for more.
With a wolffish grin, Dazai finishes off his whiskey.
Guess it’s time for the main event then.
—
(The hands are back. One of them has both of Chuuya’s wrists in an easy grip, pinning them above his head. The other is tracing lightly down his+
With a wolffish grin, Dazai finishes off his whiskey.
Guess it’s time for the main event then.
—
(The hands are back. One of them has both of Chuuya’s wrists in an easy grip, pinning them above his head. The other is tracing lightly down his+
side, so lightly it barely feels there, but it leaves fire in it's wake, making him /melt./
Arching his back, he tugs on his wrists. He doesn't want to be free, but /feeling/ how securely he's pinned is a temptation that Chuuya doesn't /want/ to ignore.
The hand holds, and +
Arching his back, he tugs on his wrists. He doesn't want to be free, but /feeling/ how securely he's pinned is a temptation that Chuuya doesn't /want/ to ignore.
The hand holds, and +
from above him, there's a dark, heady chuckle.
"Be still, doll," the voice purrs, impossible to disobey, "Don't you want to be good for me?"
Chuuya nods and nods and nods, because he does, he wants to be /so/ good, he /can/ be good, as long as it gets him /more/.
Held more, +
"Be still, doll," the voice purrs, impossible to disobey, "Don't you want to be good for me?"
Chuuya nods and nods and nods, because he does, he wants to be /so/ good, he /can/ be good, as long as it gets him /more/.
Held more, +
touched more, /fucked/ more, anything.
He wants it all, and as long as he's good, Dazai will give it to him.
Going limp and pliant, he's immediately rewarded when a hot, wet mouth descends on one of his nipples, sucking strongly and tongue swirling to find all the best spots.+
He wants it all, and as long as he's good, Dazai will give it to him.
Going limp and pliant, he's immediately rewarded when a hot, wet mouth descends on one of his nipples, sucking strongly and tongue swirling to find all the best spots.+
"/There/ you go, doll," Dazai says, and when Chuuya opens his mouth to respond, it dissolves into a broken cry when teeth sink into his flesh, painful pleasure spiraling through him. "So beautiful."
Thrusting his chest into him, Chuuya silently begs for more, eyes wide and +
Thrusting his chest into him, Chuuya silently begs for more, eyes wide and +
sightless.
All he is right now is pure sensation, electric heat sizzling down to his bones, the pit of growing hunger in his stomach, a hot-wet tongue dancing over his chest and setting him ablaze.
He needs--
He /needs/--
"More," he gasps desperately, "please, Dazai, /more/.+
All he is right now is pure sensation, electric heat sizzling down to his bones, the pit of growing hunger in his stomach, a hot-wet tongue dancing over his chest and setting him ablaze.
He needs--
He /needs/--
"More," he gasps desperately, "please, Dazai, /more/.+
A grin, pressed to his chest, and the reassuring tightening of fingers around his wrists. A hot, hard, /perfect/ body sliding his thighs apart, going exactly where Chuuya wants him too.
"I've /got/ you, baby." )
--
The water is searing hot on his skin, pouring down Dazai's +
"I've /got/ you, baby." )
--
The water is searing hot on his skin, pouring down Dazai's +
back.
He doesn’t even notice how hot it is, too busy locked in the sensation of his hand moving steadily over his cock, wet.
In his imagination, he has his hand buried in a head of red curly hair, directing his movements as Chuuya places kitten Iicks up and down his shaft,+
He doesn’t even notice how hot it is, too busy locked in the sensation of his hand moving steadily over his cock, wet.
In his imagination, he has his hand buried in a head of red curly hair, directing his movements as Chuuya places kitten Iicks up and down his shaft,+
and his eyes are /huge/, staring up at him steadily even though his face is red with embarrassment.
He’d take him in, nice and slow, lips stretched obscenely wide around him, and he’d make this sound, a little one in the back of his throat, when he realizes that Dazai is +
He’d take him in, nice and slow, lips stretched obscenely wide around him, and he’d make this sound, a little one in the back of his throat, when he realizes that Dazai is +
/bigger/ than he anticipated and he has to /struggle/ to open his jaw wide enough.
Ah, but he’d do it, beautifully well, and maybe he’d help him out by pushing his thumb in his mouth, rubbing slickly over the back teeth. He’d push in, deeper, deeper, /deeper/, until he hits+
Ah, but he’d do it, beautifully well, and maybe he’d help him out by pushing his thumb in his mouth, rubbing slickly over the back teeth. He’d push in, deeper, deeper, /deeper/, until he hits+
the back of his throat.
His hand closes tightly around the tip of his cock, massaging the first few inches to simulate the feeling of Chuuya’s throat clenching and fluttering around him.
The soft groan he releases echoes back at him, and suddenly the shower doesn’t feel so +
His hand closes tightly around the tip of his cock, massaging the first few inches to simulate the feeling of Chuuya’s throat clenching and fluttering around him.
The soft groan he releases echoes back at him, and suddenly the shower doesn’t feel so +
hot anymore.
Of course, it wouldn’t be right if he didn’t /reward/ Chuuya for how hard he was trying. He’d pick him up, slam him up against the wall and keep him pinned there as he takes a nipple in his mouth and suck on it greedily.
It wouldn’t matter how sensitive Chuuya is+
Of course, it wouldn’t be right if he didn’t /reward/ Chuuya for how hard he was trying. He’d pick him up, slam him up against the wall and keep him pinned there as he takes a nipple in his mouth and suck on it greedily.
It wouldn’t matter how sensitive Chuuya is+
because Dazai would /torment/ him, sucking and swirling with his tongue and sinking his teeth in until Chuuya is squirming, crying out, moaning so beautifully for him.
Then, just when he’d had enough—
Dazai would move to the other one, and the process would start all over +
Then, just when he’d had enough—
Dazai would move to the other one, and the process would start all over +
again.
Judging by that /brief/ spark of attitude in the kitchen, he'll be /bratty/ once he finds his footing, so there's fingers in Dazai's hair, demanding moans in his ears, a hot, lithe body bucking and writhing in his grip as Dazai drives him /wild/.
The steam is thick, so+
Judging by that /brief/ spark of attitude in the kitchen, he'll be /bratty/ once he finds his footing, so there's fingers in Dazai's hair, demanding moans in his ears, a hot, lithe body bucking and writhing in his grip as Dazai drives him /wild/.
The steam is thick, so+
he can't tell if his breath is speeding up because he can't breathe--
Or it's just because he's falling into a rhythm now, jerking himself messily.
--
(By the time Dazai relents, his chest is twin points of fire, sensitive to even the brush of air against him. Tension is +
Or it's just because he's falling into a rhythm now, jerking himself messily.
--
(By the time Dazai relents, his chest is twin points of fire, sensitive to even the brush of air against him. Tension is +
coiling in his gut, winding his muscles tight with desperation.
At some point, Dazai must've let him go, because he's got his hands full of dark, soft hair, fingers clenching around the strands rhythmically as a hot mouth kisses and bites a trail down his torso.
The closer he+
At some point, Dazai must've let him go, because he's got his hands full of dark, soft hair, fingers clenching around the strands rhythmically as a hot mouth kisses and bites a trail down his torso.
The closer he+
gets, the heavier the anticipation gets, the more Chuuya wants him /closer/.
Fruitlessly, he pushes on Dazai's head, trying to force him lower.
A hum gets pressed into the muscles of his abs, followed by a quick nip that makes Chuuya gasp and shudder.
"Do you /need/ +
Fruitlessly, he pushes on Dazai's head, trying to force him lower.
A hum gets pressed into the muscles of his abs, followed by a quick nip that makes Chuuya gasp and shudder.
"Do you /need/ +
something, doll?"
/God/, it's the same voice as earlier, except thick with promise, with lust, dripping with anticipation.
/Yes/, he does need something, needs /him/. He's so hard, throbbing against his stomach with neglect, already dripping pre-cum even though Dazai hasn't+
/God/, it's the same voice as earlier, except thick with promise, with lust, dripping with anticipation.
/Yes/, he does need something, needs /him/. He's so hard, throbbing against his stomach with neglect, already dripping pre-cum even though Dazai hasn't+
even /brushed/ him yet.
Nodding with a strangled whimper, he tries to push Dazai's head down again, lifting his hips just in case his desperation wasn't clear enough.
Just as quickly, hard hands are pinning his hips down again, slamming him back down on the black sheets--+
Nodding with a strangled whimper, he tries to push Dazai's head down again, lifting his hips just in case his desperation wasn't clear enough.
Just as quickly, hard hands are pinning his hips down again, slamming him back down on the black sheets--+
black sheets, not blue, not the color he has on /his/ bed— and it’s not painful so much as it is forceful. A warning and a command /not/ to move.
To stay still and take whatever Dazai gives him.
A hot tongue finds the dip of his hip muscle, swirling teasingly over him. He+
To stay still and take whatever Dazai gives him.
A hot tongue finds the dip of his hip muscle, swirling teasingly over him. He+
traces the muscle down, and he’s /so/ close to where Chuuya needs him, he can feel the heat boiling off him.
“Tell me what you need,” Dazai breathes over the spot he sucked on, hot air washing over him. “Say it for me.”
The hesitation locking up his jaw suddenly dissolves,+
“Tell me what you need,” Dazai breathes over the spot he sucked on, hot air washing over him. “Say it for me.”
The hesitation locking up his jaw suddenly dissolves,+
and the words pour out of him, unrestrained. “Please, Dazai, /please/, touch me. I need it, want it /so/ much, please— /fuck!/“
He chokes on a loud cry, hands clenching in dark hair as hot, wet warmth suddenly engulfs the head of his cock, /melting/ his mind.
His hips are +
He chokes on a loud cry, hands clenching in dark hair as hot, wet warmth suddenly engulfs the head of his cock, /melting/ his mind.
His hips are +
still pinned, so all he can do is lay there and take it as Dazai slowly increases the suction. His tongue is /so/ good, swirling over the head before digging into the sensitive tip.
Chuuya’s never been this /sensitive/ before,and ecstasy is pumping through him, somehow climbing+
Chuuya’s never been this /sensitive/ before,and ecstasy is pumping through him, somehow climbing+
higher with every suck, every bob of Dazai’s head, every squeeze of his fingers on his hips.
Chuuya hopes he leaves bruises in the shapes of his fingers but—
It’s still not /enough/. He doesn’t know what else he needs, but like this, the tension only winds tighter and tighter.+
Chuuya hopes he leaves bruises in the shapes of his fingers but—
It’s still not /enough/. He doesn’t know what else he needs, but like this, the tension only winds tighter and tighter.+
His muscles are trembling, fighting for something more, something different. He must be losing his mind, because even as it feels so good he can barely even process it, it doesn’t satisfy the all encompassing /need/ inside of him.
He’s going to /break/—
With a gasping sob,+
He’s going to /break/—
With a gasping sob,+
he gives in again, trusting Dazai to know what he wants, even when /he/ doesn’t. “Please... I need more Dazai, please, more...”
It’s not as energetic as the first plead,but it’s sweeter in that his voice is thick with overstimulated tears and soft with submission.
With a final+
It’s not as energetic as the first plead,but it’s sweeter in that his voice is thick with overstimulated tears and soft with submission.
With a final+
hum, Dazai pulls off with a wet pop, making Chuuya shudder again.
“I know what you need, sweetheart.” His voice fills Chuuya’s entire body, sending shivers down his spine and something warm and affectionate in his belly. “Trust me.”
And Chuuya /does/.)
—
/Fuck/. It takes +
“I know what you need, sweetheart.” His voice fills Chuuya’s entire body, sending shivers down his spine and something warm and affectionate in his belly. “Trust me.”
And Chuuya /does/.)
—
/Fuck/. It takes +
every ounce of Dazai's control to restrain himself.
He's getting closer, building steadily to the edge, and if he keeps up /this/ pace, it's going to come too soon.
Even so, the loss of friction as he forces his hand to slow makes him growl in frustration, other hand fisting+
He's getting closer, building steadily to the edge, and if he keeps up /this/ pace, it's going to come too soon.
Even so, the loss of friction as he forces his hand to slow makes him growl in frustration, other hand fisting+
on the shower wall--
His mind flashes to his fist /inside/ Chuuya, and he turns his head to sink his teeth into his bicep to muffle his loud groan.
The image is too sweet /not/ to chase though, so he gives in.
He'd be on his back, piercing blue eyes looking up at him with so +
His mind flashes to his fist /inside/ Chuuya, and he turns his head to sink his teeth into his bicep to muffle his loud groan.
The image is too sweet /not/ to chase though, so he gives in.
He'd be on his back, piercing blue eyes looking up at him with so +
much trust and pleasure as Dazai opens him up on his fingers.
He'd push back, try to get them deeper, bratty in his demand for even more, but Dazai could pin him easily, take away all his leverage and leave him helpless.
He'd take the first three so beautifully, lithe body +
He'd push back, try to get them deeper, bratty in his demand for even more, but Dazai could pin him easily, take away all his leverage and leave him helpless.
He'd take the first three so beautifully, lithe body +
shuddering with the strain, hands clawing at the sheets.
The /fourth/ though, that's when Dazai has to take his time, working him open slowly with the extra fingertip, then sinking in, centimeter by agonizing centimeter.
By the time he got it all the way, Chuuya would be +
The /fourth/ though, that's when Dazai has to take his time, working him open slowly with the extra fingertip, then sinking in, centimeter by agonizing centimeter.
By the time he got it all the way, Chuuya would be +
strung out, too out of his mind to do more than shiver and shake in devastating pleasure.
Dazai would make a whole day of it, stretching him open meticulously. He'd be aching the entire time, hurting with the need for relief himself--
But it'd be /so/ worth it, to see Chuuya+
Dazai would make a whole day of it, stretching him open meticulously. He'd be aching the entire time, hurting with the need for relief himself--
But it'd be /so/ worth it, to see Chuuya+
finally take his whole hand, up to the wrist, /owned/ by Dazai.
And, while he's there--
He'd kiss him, soft and sweet and reassuring, telling him how /good/ he feels, how /perfect/ he feels, watching closely as he pushes Chuuya's body to the limits and then carefully, oh so+
And, while he's there--
He'd kiss him, soft and sweet and reassuring, telling him how /good/ he feels, how /perfect/ he feels, watching closely as he pushes Chuuya's body to the limits and then carefully, oh so+
carefully, /past/ it.
He'd--
/Fuck/. His impending orgasm starts to climb like a rising tsunami.
He doesn't know when his hand sped back up, but his forearm aches with the strain, thighs trembling as he drives himself to the edge.
He can't even bring himself to care anymore+
He'd--
/Fuck/. His impending orgasm starts to climb like a rising tsunami.
He doesn't know when his hand sped back up, but his forearm aches with the strain, thighs trembling as he drives himself to the edge.
He can't even bring himself to care anymore+
or to stop, staring sightlessly at the shower wall as he imagines slowly pulling his hand out and replacing it with the head of his cock, pressing inside.
Chuuya wouldn't need any more stretching, but he'd make this delicious whimpering sound at the size of him, one that Dazai+
Chuuya wouldn't need any more stretching, but he'd make this delicious whimpering sound at the size of him, one that Dazai+
would swallow whole.
He'd work himself inside in short, slow thrusts, claiming his body and coaxing him to take just a /little/ more, that's it, you can do it, sweetheart, /so/ fucking perfect for me--
The next breath stalls out in his chest, and one last squeeze over the head+
He'd work himself inside in short, slow thrusts, claiming his body and coaxing him to take just a /little/ more, that's it, you can do it, sweetheart, /so/ fucking perfect for me--
The next breath stalls out in his chest, and one last squeeze over the head+
and the tension /snaps/.
Flash-fire ecstasy roars over him, centered in the base of his cock and radiating outwards in sweet waves. He slumps against the shower wall, biting his lip hard to muffle his loud groan.
The orgasm is long, drawn out every time he pulls on his cock. +
Flash-fire ecstasy roars over him, centered in the base of his cock and radiating outwards in sweet waves. He slumps against the shower wall, biting his lip hard to muffle his loud groan.
The orgasm is long, drawn out every time he pulls on his cock. +
It feels good, not the /best/ orgasm he’s ever had, but definitely one of the better ones he’s given himself.
He tries not to think that’s because he imagined Chuuya the /whole/ time.
It takes a few minutes before he comes down entirely, hand moving intermittently over himself+
He tries not to think that’s because he imagined Chuuya the /whole/ time.
It takes a few minutes before he comes down entirely, hand moving intermittently over himself+
to keep the pleasure going until it turns into painful oversensitivity.
Then he leans his head back against the shower wall, breathing in deep and forcibly ignoring the cum on the wall and the fact that he probably moaned Chuuya’s name during his orgasm.
He’s beginning to+
Then he leans his head back against the shower wall, breathing in deep and forcibly ignoring the cum on the wall and the fact that he probably moaned Chuuya’s name during his orgasm.
He’s beginning to+
realize he’s /screwed/, completely undone by a sweet little thing that doesn’t even /know/ what he’s doing to Dazai.
/Dammit./
—
(There are fingers inside him. Chuuya doesn’t know how many, all he knows is that it feels /good/, feels /full/, feels like Dazai is forcing pleasure+
/Dammit./
—
(There are fingers inside him. Chuuya doesn’t know how many, all he knows is that it feels /good/, feels /full/, feels like Dazai is forcing pleasure+
into him with every stroke and thrust of his fingers deep inside him.
He’s left his cock alone for now, and thank god for that, because he knows that if Dazai even /looked/ too hard at his erection right now, Chuuya would burst.
Even now, he’s hanging onto the tension with+
He’s left his cock alone for now, and thank god for that, because he knows that if Dazai even /looked/ too hard at his erection right now, Chuuya would burst.
Even now, he’s hanging onto the tension with+
every ounce of restraint inside him, because /yes/, the stretch feels great, but Chuuya is greedy and he wants more.
Dazai seems to sense that too, pausing in where he’s sucking a series of hickies into the soft flesh of his inner thighs. “Look at you,” he purrs, voice going+
Dazai seems to sense that too, pausing in where he’s sucking a series of hickies into the soft flesh of his inner thighs. “Look at you,” he purrs, voice going+
/straight/ to Chuuya’s cock. “Trying /so/ hard, aren’t you? You want my cock that badly?”
Chuuya nods, and somehow his hands are still in Dazai’s hair, clenching at the words. To prove it, he opens up his legs, spreading his thighs as wide as they go, silently begging for more.+
Chuuya nods, and somehow his hands are still in Dazai’s hair, clenching at the words. To prove it, he opens up his legs, spreading his thighs as wide as they go, silently begging for more.+
He revels in the soft hiss he gets in return. Finally, a sign that Dazai is just as affected as he is.
The fingers slip out, and before he can even miss them, Dazai is sliding up, body solid and scorching against him. He’s heavy with muscle, grounding and firm.
His thighs end+
The fingers slip out, and before he can even miss them, Dazai is sliding up, body solid and scorching against him. He’s heavy with muscle, grounding and firm.
His thighs end+
up hooked around Dazai’s hips, and his heart trips when he feels the heavy, hot, hard line of Dazai’s erection pressing against him, /so/ close to where he wants it.
“Then take it,” Dazai murmurs, intoxicatingly, reaching down to line himself up.
At the same time, he leans +
“Then take it,” Dazai murmurs, intoxicatingly, reaching down to line himself up.
At the same time, he leans +
down, bringing their faces close.
Their breaths mix in the space between them, hot and sweet, and all Chuuya can feel is the burning weight of Dazai above him, the inescapable gaze of his eyes on him, so close—
He leans closer, closer, and Chuuya is rising up to meet him, +
Their breaths mix in the space between them, hot and sweet, and all Chuuya can feel is the burning weight of Dazai above him, the inescapable gaze of his eyes on him, so close—
He leans closer, closer, and Chuuya is rising up to meet him, +
grinding his hips up to feel that first perfect stretch of him sliding inside.
Closer—
/Closer/—
Their lips brush, slick and sweet, and Chuuya pulls him down by the hair so they can kiss /properly/ for the first time, he’s wanted it for so long—
The dream dissolves.
+
Closer—
/Closer/—
Their lips brush, slick and sweet, and Chuuya pulls him down by the hair so they can kiss /properly/ for the first time, he’s wanted it for so long—
The dream dissolves.
+
Chuuya wakes with a pillow stuffed between his legs, and Dazai’s name sweet on his tongue.
He’s still hazy from his dream, sleepy and pliant, and his hips are still moving, grinding messily against the pillow.
It’s not /enough/, it’s not what he wants, not what he /almost/ had—
He’s still hazy from his dream, sleepy and pliant, and his hips are still moving, grinding messily against the pillow.
It’s not /enough/, it’s not what he wants, not what he /almost/ had—
But with another few humps against the pillow, and a strangled, desperate, pleading whimper of Dazai’s name, it’s enough to have him spilling over in his underwear, coming as quietly as he can.
He lays there for a while, enjoying the pleasant limpness brought on by his orgasm+
He lays there for a while, enjoying the pleasant limpness brought on by his orgasm+
and the pleasant aftershocks for as long as he can.
Because once that starts to fade, the guilt and the dread begin to build.
He’s /screwed/. Not even in a fun way, too, but in a way he’s certain will just end in heartbreak.
/Dammit/.
———
+
Because once that starts to fade, the guilt and the dread begin to build.
He’s /screwed/. Not even in a fun way, too, but in a way he’s certain will just end in heartbreak.
/Dammit/.
———
+
“Aren’t you too old for things like this?” Yosano asks, weighing the hair clippers in her hand with a disapproving expression. “Can’t you go to a salon like a normal person?”
Reclined in her chair, with a towel draped over his shoulders as a makeshift cape, Dazai smirks at her.+
Reclined in her chair, with a towel draped over his shoulders as a makeshift cape, Dazai smirks at her.+
“Do you think I let just /anyone/ get near this face, love?”
He cups his hands under his chin, tilting his head and fluttering his lashes like a girl on Instagram.
Yosano narrows her eyes at him, brandishing the clippers like a weapon. “I don’t think you should let /me/ near+
He cups his hands under his chin, tilting his head and fluttering his lashes like a girl on Instagram.
Yosano narrows her eyes at him, brandishing the clippers like a weapon. “I don’t think you should let /me/ near+
your face,” she says menacingly, a glint of sadism in her violet eyes, “it might not be so pretty when I’m done with it.”
Dazai shrugs, catching her hand with his. “It’d be an honor to die by your hand, you know that.”
With a wink, he kisses her knuckles, and laughs when she+
Dazai shrugs, catching her hand with his. “It’d be an honor to die by your hand, you know that.”
With a wink, he kisses her knuckles, and laughs when she+
jerks her hand back, giving him a light slap on the cheek.
Starting the clippers, she forcibly tilts his head to the side, exposing his grown out undercut. She starts at the bottom, shaving off the longer hairs. “Is that the only reason you called me to cut your hair? So you +
Starting the clippers, she forcibly tilts his head to the side, exposing his grown out undercut. She starts at the bottom, shaving off the longer hairs. “Is that the only reason you called me to cut your hair? So you +
could flirt with me, asshole?”
Dazai makes an offended gasp, going to play it off—
Yosano pinches his ear harshly, pulling until he whines in protest.
“No,” he grumbles, deciding to go with the truth, “I just missed you.”
Then, because that’s a /little/ too close to +
Dazai makes an offended gasp, going to play it off—
Yosano pinches his ear harshly, pulling until he whines in protest.
“No,” he grumbles, deciding to go with the truth, “I just missed you.”
Then, because that’s a /little/ too close to +
emotional vulnerability when both of them are far too sober for that, he continues teasingly, “you’ve been /very/ busy with Kouyou and Oda lately. If I were more insecure, I’d think you were stealing my friends.”
Yosano rolls her eyes, folding his ear down—gently, this time— so+
Yosano rolls her eyes, folding his ear down—gently, this time— so+
she can get to the hair beneath. “Kouyou was never your friend,” she tuts, “and Oda would be your friend even if you never talked to him again.”
He /knows/ that, it’s just—
His life is lonely. /He’s/ lonely. Usually it doesn’t bother him, and most of the time he barely even+
He /knows/ that, it’s just—
His life is lonely. /He’s/ lonely. Usually it doesn’t bother him, and most of the time he barely even+
registers it but—
Most of the time, he really only has the dogs, his idiot son, and the business acquaintances that would only call him a friend under threat of torture.
So yeah, he’s /lonely/.
Yosano and him may not have always had the /best/ relationship—they’re far to+
Most of the time, he really only has the dogs, his idiot son, and the business acquaintances that would only call him a friend under threat of torture.
So yeah, he’s /lonely/.
Yosano and him may not have always had the /best/ relationship—they’re far to+
similar is some aspects, and far too different in others— but they grew up together.
It was terrible and tragic and he’d never go back, but for a very long time, they were the only ones they had. He misses that kind of ride-or-die, us against the world camaraderie.
Hell, he’s+
It was terrible and tragic and he’d never go back, but for a very long time, they were the only ones they had. He misses that kind of ride-or-die, us against the world camaraderie.
Hell, he’s+
even starting to reminisce fondly on that one time she stabbed him in the leg for annoying her for too long.
Yosano moves behind him, elegant fingers pushing his head forward so she can reach his nape. He complies easily, shivering at the gentle brush of her fingers.
The+
Yosano moves behind him, elegant fingers pushing his head forward so she can reach his nape. He complies easily, shivering at the gentle brush of her fingers.
The+
clippers don’t start immediately, leaving them in silence for a moment—
He finds out why when long, slender arms wrap around him from behind, and a pointy chin comes to rest on his shoulder.
“I miss you too, Osamu,” Yosano sighs, pressing their cheeks together gently.
For a+
He finds out why when long, slender arms wrap around him from behind, and a pointy chin comes to rest on his shoulder.
“I miss you too, Osamu,” Yosano sighs, pressing their cheeks together gently.
For a+
moment, it’s good and warm and peaceful. It fills some hollow, torn part of him that never seems to feel whole no matter what he does to fix it—
But for a moment, that fades into the background, and everything is okay again.
“You can come back, you know. If you want.”
...Only+
But for a moment, that fades into the background, and everything is okay again.
“You can come back, you know. If you want.”
...Only+
for a moment though.
Honestly, the fact that she’d suggest that, having seen what was done to him, what he almost became, what /they/ almost became—
Logically, he knows that she didn’t mean it that way, and it’s better now. They’re not defenseless kids anymore but—
It burns.+
Honestly, the fact that she’d suggest that, having seen what was done to him, what he almost became, what /they/ almost became—
Logically, he knows that she didn’t mean it that way, and it’s better now. They’re not defenseless kids anymore but—
It burns.+
It’s also just not true, because she’s /technically/ not in the mafia anymore either, so she can’t actually offer him a spot back. She might have some sway, considering how close she is with the boss but—
Even if he wanted to go back— and he doesn’t, because that feels like +
Even if he wanted to go back— and he doesn’t, because that feels like +
a step backwards in the worst way, like crawling out of hell just to jump back in as soon as it started calling his name— it’s not as easy as it sounds.
It’s /complicated/.
He closes his eyes on a sigh. “No I can’t,” he murmurs, “you know that, Akiko.”
She squeezes him+
It’s /complicated/.
He closes his eyes on a sigh. “No I can’t,” he murmurs, “you know that, Akiko.”
She squeezes him+
tighter for a second, before leaning back, exhaling heavily. “Yeah, I know. It’s just...”
Yeah, he knows too. He doesn’t blame her for finding solace in the improved version of their childhood home.
To some people, home will always be home, no matter how much or little it +
Yeah, he knows too. He doesn’t blame her for finding solace in the improved version of their childhood home.
To some people, home will always be home, no matter how much or little it +
changes.
Dazai isn’t one of those people. He’s been trying to find a new home, he just...
Doesn’t know where, yet.
The clippers start up again, and silence falls easily between them as Yosano concentrates on making some sort of pattern with the hair on the back on his head.+
Dazai isn’t one of those people. He’s been trying to find a new home, he just...
Doesn’t know where, yet.
The clippers start up again, and silence falls easily between them as Yosano concentrates on making some sort of pattern with the hair on the back on his head.+
Usually it’s a makeshift geometric pattern that gets shaved off anyways— but sometimes it looks decent, and he keeps it.
It’s only when she’s moved onto the other side of his side, matching it with the first side she shaved that she speaks up again. “What else do you want?” +
It’s only when she’s moved onto the other side of his side, matching it with the first side she shaved that she speaks up again. “What else do you want?” +
Involuntarily, his lips twitch upward. She knows him too well. He plays it cool for a moment longer though. “What makes you think I want something else?”
Yosano flicks her fingers against his head. “I know you, Osamu. Nothing is ever straightforward with you. Spit it out.” +
Yosano flicks her fingers against his head. “I know you, Osamu. Nothing is ever straightforward with you. Spit it out.” +
“I want a meeting.”
Unlike him, she doesn’t bother playing dumb, snorting, “With the boss? You /know/ she doesn’t like you, and meeting with you is a risk.”
He rolls his eyes. Sure, he’s /technically/ a contender for the position, and maybe a few people would prefer him over+
Unlike him, she doesn’t bother playing dumb, snorting, “With the boss? You /know/ she doesn’t like you, and meeting with you is a risk.”
He rolls his eyes. Sure, he’s /technically/ a contender for the position, and maybe a few people would prefer him over+
her but—
He gave up the chair /years/ ago, and hasn’t shown any interest in it since he was 17.
There’s being cautious and then there’s being /paranoid/.
“Besides, what reason do /you/ have to meet with the boss?”
For that, Dazai levels her with a soft glare. “I havé just+
He gave up the chair /years/ ago, and hasn’t shown any interest in it since he was 17.
There’s being cautious and then there’s being /paranoid/.
“Besides, what reason do /you/ have to meet with the boss?”
For that, Dazai levels her with a soft glare. “I havé just+
as much reason to protect this city as any one of you.”
Yosano raises an eyebrow, expression twisting slightly. “For what? That shitty son of yours?”
This is a conversation they’ve gone in circles around ever since Dazai got the news that he was going to be a parent, and it +
Yosano raises an eyebrow, expression twisting slightly. “For what? That shitty son of yours?”
This is a conversation they’ve gone in circles around ever since Dazai got the news that he was going to be a parent, and it +
just evolves into different arguments with new information.They’ve never seen eye to eye on this, and chances are, they probably never will.
“You, of all people, know what it’s like to grow up without a father figure— or worse, an awful one. He might not be a /great/ kid, and I+
“You, of all people, know what it’s like to grow up without a father figure— or worse, an awful one. He might not be a /great/ kid, and I+
might not be a /good/ father— but at least he has one.”
Yosano shrugs, mouth opening to fire back, and he can already see where this is going, so he interrupts her.
“Besides, /something/ is going on in the city. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how restless the streets are+
Yosano shrugs, mouth opening to fire back, and he can already see where this is going, so he interrupts her.
“Besides, /something/ is going on in the city. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how restless the streets are+
these days. /Something/ has everyone spooked, and I can’t figure it out yet. I’ve lost one informant, and another one had his network destroyed. The Rats are moving like they’re up to something— and I don’t know what. I bet Kouyou doesn’t either.”
He can see the indecision +
He can see the indecision +
beginning to grow on her expression, so he lays the next piece, “We can help eachother. She has resources; I have information. It just makes sense.”
Yosano looks him over, weighing his words versus his expression. He’s always been a good liar— to /other/ people. Her eyes are +
Yosano looks him over, weighing his words versus his expression. He’s always been a good liar— to /other/ people. Her eyes are +
too sharp to be fooled by him usually.
And he looks entirely truthful right now, expression open and eyes wide with innocence.
Sighing, she turns the hair clippers off. “You’re done,” she says, referring to his newly refreshed undercut.
By the time she’s put away her tools+
And he looks entirely truthful right now, expression open and eyes wide with innocence.
Sighing, she turns the hair clippers off. “You’re done,” she says, referring to his newly refreshed undercut.
By the time she’s put away her tools+
he’s dusted off his cape and thrown his hair in the garbage. He doesn’t break the silence, content to wait for an answer while she decides.
“Fine,” she snaps eventually, “I’ll see what I can do. No promises though.”
His grin is a privilege to see, because he doesn’t smile +
“Fine,” she snaps eventually, “I’ll see what I can do. No promises though.”
His grin is a privilege to see, because he doesn’t smile +
that often. It’s less rare these days, but still a treat.
“Thanks, love,” he says, “I knew I could count on you.”
“Whatever, you jerk,” she says, hiding her smile behind a scoff, before she changes the subject again, “I wanted to let you know— it’s one of the kids, Sakura’s,+
“Thanks, love,” he says, “I knew I could count on you.”
“Whatever, you jerk,” she says, hiding her smile behind a scoff, before she changes the subject again, “I wanted to let you know— it’s one of the kids, Sakura’s,+
birthday next weekend. We’re having a little party. I told Oda I’d invite you.”
His smile softens, growing smaller and more genuine. “I’ll see what I can do,” he responds, mentally going over his schedule.
The best thing about being self-employed? There are only a few things+
His smile softens, growing smaller and more genuine. “I’ll see what I can do,” he responds, mentally going over his schedule.
The best thing about being self-employed? There are only a few things+
that can’t afford to be rescheduled.
And for his extended family? He’ll make an exception any day.
He just wish he knew that he would be basically losing them too when he gave up the position of power—
If he had known, he would’ve savored them, for just a little longer.
——— +
And for his extended family? He’ll make an exception any day.
He just wish he knew that he would be basically losing them too when he gave up the position of power—
If he had known, he would’ve savored them, for just a little longer.
——— +
God smiles upon Chuuya for one single, measly moment (that he totally deserves, after his /wet dream/ about /Dazai/) and puts Yuan in his calculus class.
Honestly, he was expecting it to be terrible, with her being distracting—
But she’s a surprisingly good student. Talks +
Honestly, he was expecting it to be terrible, with her being distracting—
But she’s a surprisingly good student. Talks +
when the professor isn’t teaching, naturally, but falls silent during the actual lesson. Her notes are pretty, which Chuuya is silently jealous of.
(His handwriting is crap, and he actually has to transcribe his own notes after class so he can actually /read/ them.)
And +
(His handwriting is crap, and he actually has to transcribe his own notes after class so he can actually /read/ them.)
And +
because this is Keio, and the advanced math class—
They’re assigned 30 problems for homework, due next class.
“I’m going to kill myself,” Yuan promptly announces when they step out of the room together.
Chuuya nods, agreeing, because he took a look at those problems, and +
They’re assigned 30 problems for homework, due next class.
“I’m going to kill myself,” Yuan promptly announces when they step out of the room together.
Chuuya nods, agreeing, because he took a look at those problems, and +
/half/ of them have multiple parts. Which means they actually have closer to /50/ problems, due in two days.
That’s only /one/ class, mind you. On the first day.
“What do you have next?” He asks, mentally going over his own schedule.
“Chemistry, I think,” she sighs, +
That’s only /one/ class, mind you. On the first day.
“What do you have next?” He asks, mentally going over his own schedule.
“Chemistry, I think,” she sighs, +
side-stepping a pair of students nearly running down the hallway. “Speaking of chemistry,” she continues, jostling him with her elbow, “how was dinner?”
His face /immediately/ turns red. He can’t even /think/ about dinner without thinking about big, brown, smoldering eyes which+
His face /immediately/ turns red. He can’t even /think/ about dinner without thinking about big, brown, smoldering eyes which+
inevitably leads to the hazy dream memory of seeing them up close and personal as Dazai fingered him, which leads to the memory of Chuuya grinding against his pillow like a damn prepubescent teenager—
Which leads to the memory of Nikolai tossing and turning and waking up at the+
Which leads to the memory of Nikolai tossing and turning and waking up at the+
/same/ time as he was.
(No, he hasn’t talked to Nikolai at all today. He shoves the dirty pillowcase between the wall and the bed, took what remained of his dignity, and fled for his damn life.
He doesn’t know if Nikolai heard. Or /what/, he heard, if he did hear. He doesn’t+
(No, he hasn’t talked to Nikolai at all today. He shoves the dirty pillowcase between the wall and the bed, took what remained of his dignity, and fled for his damn life.
He doesn’t know if Nikolai heard. Or /what/, he heard, if he did hear. He doesn’t+
even know what /he/ said, except for the stuff at the very end there.
How is he supposed to ask him, anyways? Go up to him like ‘hey, did you hear my sex dream? Oh you didn’t? Cool, good talk.’?
‘Oh you /did/? Mind not mentioning to our mutual friend that I was moaning his +
How is he supposed to ask him, anyways? Go up to him like ‘hey, did you hear my sex dream? Oh you didn’t? Cool, good talk.’?
‘Oh you /did/? Mind not mentioning to our mutual friend that I was moaning his +
dad’s name into my pillow like a pornstar? Thanks, you’re a good friend’?
It’s day 1 of college and he wants to /die/. )
“Fine,” he mutters, “nothing really happened.”
Yuan casts him a knowing look, lips curling into a smirk. “Oh? Did you at least kiss?”
Well. Technically,+
It’s day 1 of college and he wants to /die/. )
“Fine,” he mutters, “nothing really happened.”
Yuan casts him a knowing look, lips curling into a smirk. “Oh? Did you at least kiss?”
Well. Technically,+
he was kissed. He didn’t kiss /back/, though, so he’s not exactly sure where that lies on the scale.
“Yeah,” he ends up going with, shrugging his shoulders like it’s not a big deal. And it’s not—
So why is talking about it filling him with the slow, creeping filling of anxiety+
“Yeah,” he ends up going with, shrugging his shoulders like it’s not a big deal. And it’s not—
So why is talking about it filling him with the slow, creeping filling of anxiety+
and something that feels like /shame/?
It has nothing to do with his complicated interest to Dazai. He just does /not/ want to discuss kissing Shuuji. It's not because he's /shy/, but more because he feels...ashamed?
Confused?
He doesn't even know. He feels like he doesn't+
It has nothing to do with his complicated interest to Dazai. He just does /not/ want to discuss kissing Shuuji. It's not because he's /shy/, but more because he feels...ashamed?
Confused?
He doesn't even know. He feels like he doesn't+
know /anything/ these days.
Luckily,before he's forced to discuss the /kissing/ any further, he lays eyes on something interesting in the courtyard.
It's a faded statue,of a student with a book open in their hands and what looks like a bookbag at their side. As he gets closer,+
Luckily,before he's forced to discuss the /kissing/ any further, he lays eyes on something interesting in the courtyard.
It's a faded statue,of a student with a book open in their hands and what looks like a bookbag at their side. As he gets closer,+
he notices that the statue's eyes are closed. Odd, considering that it's supposed to look like they're reading.
He stops to read the inscription, but it's been rubbed out by the sheer amount of people running their fingers over it.
"Do you know what this is for?" He asks, +
He stops to read the inscription, but it's been rubbed out by the sheer amount of people running their fingers over it.
"Do you know what this is for?" He asks, +
gesturing.
Yuan pauses,and she looks oddly solemn as she looks up at the statue. Her hand is tight on her shoulder bag. "The rumor is, twenty years ago, the old dean of the college was in a war with the Port Mafia. They're the most powerful Yakuza clan on this side of Japan, so+
Yuan pauses,and she looks oddly solemn as she looks up at the statue. Her hand is tight on her shoulder bag. "The rumor is, twenty years ago, the old dean of the college was in a war with the Port Mafia. They're the most powerful Yakuza clan on this side of Japan, so+
obviously they didn’t like that.”
It’s too early in the year for spooky stories, but Chuuya swears the temperature drops, the windchill suddenly cutting through his jacket, straight to his bones.
“So when they heard that the dean was going to the police with evidence against+
It’s too early in the year for spooky stories, but Chuuya swears the temperature drops, the windchill suddenly cutting through his jacket, straight to his bones.
“So when they heard that the dean was going to the police with evidence against+
them... they gathered up the dean and a handful of students, and /executed/ them.”
So it’s a memorial to the lost lives then? That doesn’t make sense to Chuuya, considering that the yakuza wouldn’t want their carnage publicly displayed and remembered like this.
He frowns. “If+
So it’s a memorial to the lost lives then? That doesn’t make sense to Chuuya, considering that the yakuza wouldn’t want their carnage publicly displayed and remembered like this.
He frowns. “If+
it only happened 20 years ago, why is it only a rumor?”
Technology wasn’t /that/ 20 years ago, and if they had enough evidence to make a memorial, surely they had enough to confirm the story?
Yuan shrugs. “Well, if you look up the story, all you’ll find is a story of a fire+
Technology wasn’t /that/ 20 years ago, and if they had enough evidence to make a memorial, surely they had enough to confirm the story?
Yuan shrugs. “Well, if you look up the story, all you’ll find is a story of a fire+
in the original building.”
His eyebrows shoot up. It sounds like some tragedy that was turned into more anti-Yakuza campaign, to him.
(Not that the yakuza don’t need a campaign against them, but there’s something terribly disrespectful about spinning a tragedy into something+
His eyebrows shoot up. It sounds like some tragedy that was turned into more anti-Yakuza campaign, to him.
(Not that the yakuza don’t need a campaign against them, but there’s something terribly disrespectful about spinning a tragedy into something+
that benefits the government.)
Yuan wiggles her fingers at him, like she’s demonstrating something scary. “Be careful you don’t look too closely though;if you get too close to the truth, the Demon Prodigy will find you first~.”
Chuuya snorts. “‘The demon prodigy’? What kind of+
Yuan wiggles her fingers at him, like she’s demonstrating something scary. “Be careful you don’t look too closely though;if you get too close to the truth, the Demon Prodigy will find you first~.”
Chuuya snorts. “‘The demon prodigy’? What kind of+
nickname is /that/?”
Yuan laughs, shrugging a little. “Apparently he was some crazy yakuza person, raised a lot of hell and killed a bunch of people. Guess he was in line to rule the city— but then one day he just disappeared and no one’s heard anything since.”
Chuuya stares+
Yuan laughs, shrugging a little. “Apparently he was some crazy yakuza person, raised a lot of hell and killed a bunch of people. Guess he was in line to rule the city— but then one day he just disappeared and no one’s heard anything since.”
Chuuya stares+
at her, expression deadpan. “Did you just tell me a ghost story?”
“Not a ghost story,” Yuan corrects, making a face at him, “I didn’t say he was /dead/. Who knows, maybe he’s out there, watching. Waiting. Hunting.”
Her smile widens,and for a moment, it looks twisted and sharp,+
“Not a ghost story,” Yuan corrects, making a face at him, “I didn’t say he was /dead/. Who knows, maybe he’s out there, watching. Waiting. Hunting.”
Her smile widens,and for a moment, it looks twisted and sharp,+
unhinged. “And who knows, Chuuya? Maybe /you’ll/ be next.”
Yeah, right.
“Sounds like some story to keep kids in line,” he brushes it off, “and besides; if he was active 20 years ago, how old would he be now? Old as fuck? Grandpa demon prodigy? I’m terrified.”
— +
Yeah, right.
“Sounds like some story to keep kids in line,” he brushes it off, “and besides; if he was active 20 years ago, how old would he be now? Old as fuck? Grandpa demon prodigy? I’m terrified.”
— +
The first week goes by surprisingly quietly. He gets assigned a couple of hours of homework for each class, which should be illegal considering he’s a full-time student and taking 6 classes, but he makes it work.
The calculus gets knocked out pretty quickly with Yuan as a +
The calculus gets knocked out pretty quickly with Yuan as a +
study partner. They make a good team; usually, whatever she doesn’t understand he does and vice versa. It makes the work go by quickly and less terribly than it would otherwise.
(He /does/ end up looking into the memorial story, just for kicks. Like Yuan said, he only finds+
(He /does/ end up looking into the memorial story, just for kicks. Like Yuan said, he only finds+
the news articles of a fire. Assuringly started by underage smoking, and by the time it was reported, the fire had grown out of control.
Tragically, there were 7 deaths. No sign of Yakuza activity.
He /does/ end up lingering on the page for a while, and clicking onto several+
Tragically, there were 7 deaths. No sign of Yakuza activity.
He /does/ end up lingering on the page for a while, and clicking onto several+
articles just to tempt his fate.
No antiquated demon prodigy jumps out at him, so he firmly slates the story as a spooky story, and moves on with his life.)
Things with Shuuji are...surprisingly peaceful. They’re both busy and even though Shuuji isn’t the /best/ student, he+
No antiquated demon prodigy jumps out at him, so he firmly slates the story as a spooky story, and moves on with his life.)
Things with Shuuji are...surprisingly peaceful. They’re both busy and even though Shuuji isn’t the /best/ student, he+
does take his coursework mostly seriously.
Which means that beyond casual, daily texting and shared Snapchat streaks—they don’t really see eachother for the week.
They managed to get a quick coffee together once, which was cut short when Shuuji received a Snap notification and+
Which means that beyond casual, daily texting and shared Snapchat streaks—they don’t really see eachother for the week.
They managed to get a quick coffee together once, which was cut short when Shuuji received a Snap notification and+
had to rush out.
Since they have different majors, and Shuuji chose to put off his math classes for another year, studying together isn’t really useful.
Chuuya mourns that silently, because he always found the romantic study sessions in movies kind of /cute/, but it’s fine. +
Since they have different majors, and Shuuji chose to put off his math classes for another year, studying together isn’t really useful.
Chuuya mourns that silently, because he always found the romantic study sessions in movies kind of /cute/, but it’s fine. +
He has Yuan anyways, who he's becoming pretty close with, which is pretty nice. He hasn't had a girl best friend in a while, and it's refreshing to experience.
Along the way, Chuuya has been retrying the whole /kissing/ thing. After a week of quick fumbles in alleyways and +
Along the way, Chuuya has been retrying the whole /kissing/ thing. After a week of quick fumbles in alleyways and +
being pressed up against walls, he's decided on a few things.
He doesn't mind--actually kind of /likes/-- the quick pecks, the ones Shuuji gives him when he's leaving or saying a quick hello. They're quick, with no expectations, and just a general expression of affection, which+
He doesn't mind--actually kind of /likes/-- the quick pecks, the ones Shuuji gives him when he's leaving or saying a quick hello. They're quick, with no expectations, and just a general expression of affection, which+
makes him feel warm and giddy inside.
(He's always been a physically affectionate person. He hadn't realized how much he missed the simple reassurance that contact brought him.)
It's when Shuuji gets.../excited/ that Chuuya starts to feel a bit uncomfortable. /Those/ have +
(He's always been a physically affectionate person. He hadn't realized how much he missed the simple reassurance that contact brought him.)
It's when Shuuji gets.../excited/ that Chuuya starts to feel a bit uncomfortable. /Those/ have +
expectations, and he kisses Chuuya like he's demanding more, like he's pressing the heavy weight of his want onto Chuuya and expecting an equal response.
Truthfully, he still doesn't know how to /respond/ to those kisses, especially the ones where Shuuji pins him up against +
Truthfully, he still doesn't know how to /respond/ to those kisses, especially the ones where Shuuji pins him up against +
a hard surface or when he surprises Chuuya in the middle of his sentence with a deep kiss.
He's trying though, and he thinks he's getting better at it. It takes him longer to get uncomfortable now, and he even does his best to kiss him back. He's probably clumsy, but sometimes +
He's trying though, and he thinks he's getting better at it. It takes him longer to get uncomfortable now, and he even does his best to kiss him back. He's probably clumsy, but sometimes +
he manages to pull a breathy noise from Shuuji's chest, which makes him thrill in victory.
And the fact that he /can/ enjoy kissing-- even if it's hard, even if he still doesn't get the whole 'desperate for more, kissing for hours' concept that romance movies sell-- makes him +
And the fact that he /can/ enjoy kissing-- even if it's hard, even if he still doesn't get the whole 'desperate for more, kissing for hours' concept that romance movies sell-- makes him +
feel /normal/. Like /he/ can be normal.
Maybe not liking to kiss is normal, but when society places so much value on finding a partner and /doing/ things with them, the idea that he might not be like /most/ of the population--
It's scary. He wants to fit in. He wants to like+
Maybe not liking to kiss is normal, but when society places so much value on finding a partner and /doing/ things with them, the idea that he might not be like /most/ of the population--
It's scary. He wants to fit in. He wants to like+
Shuuji.
He wants to like kissing him. He wants to want to do something /more/ with him, someday.
So whenever that weird pit of anxiety and insecurity begins to bubble up inside him, he breathes through it until it settles back down again.
He can do this, he just has to /work/+
He wants to like kissing him. He wants to want to do something /more/ with him, someday.
So whenever that weird pit of anxiety and insecurity begins to bubble up inside him, he breathes through it until it settles back down again.
He can do this, he just has to /work/+
for it.
So when Shuuji invites him over to his house so they can watch movies together? He agrees, feeling determined.
He's /going/ to kiss Shuuji--or rather, let him kiss Chuuya, because almost all of the kisses are initiated by Shuuji, mostly by surprise--and he's /going/ to+
So when Shuuji invites him over to his house so they can watch movies together? He agrees, feeling determined.
He's /going/ to kiss Shuuji--or rather, let him kiss Chuuya, because almost all of the kisses are initiated by Shuuji, mostly by surprise--and he's /going/ to+
like it.
(Or at least not push him off after a few moments. He'll settle for tolerance, at this point in time.
And he's /not/ going to think about Dazai. Not once, not at all.)
Before he can go on Saturday, he has to finish most of his assigned work for the week, so he spends+
(Or at least not push him off after a few moments. He'll settle for tolerance, at this point in time.
And he's /not/ going to think about Dazai. Not once, not at all.)
Before he can go on Saturday, he has to finish most of his assigned work for the week, so he spends+
the morning in the library with a big cup of coffee and his textbooks.
The lunch break he takes ends up taking longer than he expected, because his dad FaceTimes him, with Kyouka squished up beside him. He missed talking to them, and they're endearingly excited over the few+
The lunch break he takes ends up taking longer than he expected, because his dad FaceTimes him, with Kyouka squished up beside him. He missed talking to them, and they're endearingly excited over the few+
stories he tells them about Yuan and Nikolai.
(Speaking of Nikolai, they haven't talked about ... /it/. He's not sure if that's because there's nothing /to/ talk about, or if they're both just avoiding the subject, but either way, it's made the dorm a little tense and awkward+
(Speaking of Nikolai, they haven't talked about ... /it/. He's not sure if that's because there's nothing /to/ talk about, or if they're both just avoiding the subject, but either way, it's made the dorm a little tense and awkward+
to be in.
At least for him. Nikolai seems /fine/, so maybe he's just overthinking it.)
He doesn't tell them about Shuuji. He's not sure why /not/, really, only that he /really/ doesn't want to go into the way he's feeling about him and the struggle he has regarding that +
At least for him. Nikolai seems /fine/, so maybe he's just overthinking it.)
He doesn't tell them about Shuuji. He's not sure why /not/, really, only that he /really/ doesn't want to go into the way he's feeling about him and the struggle he has regarding that +
whole situation.
Still, even with the distraction, he manages to finish most of his work--minus the case readings for his prerequisite biology class-- with a couple of hours to spare before Shuuji is scheduled to pick him up.
They decided on watching a movie later in the +
Still, even with the distraction, he manages to finish most of his work--minus the case readings for his prerequisite biology class-- with a couple of hours to spare before Shuuji is scheduled to pick him up.
They decided on watching a movie later in the +
evening, to give them both time to do their work beforehand, and as a way to make up for the dinner that Chuuya messed up the last time.
Two birds, one stone, as it were.
Nikolai is off at his job, so he has the entire dorm to get ready. He spends most of the that time doing +
Two birds, one stone, as it were.
Nikolai is off at his job, so he has the entire dorm to get ready. He spends most of the that time doing +
his hair, wrapping strands around a curling iron to make them bouncier, loosely pinning his bangs back to expose his face while still having wispy strands float around his face.
He leaves off the makeup today, other than touching up his eyelashes with mascara-- his lashes are+
He leaves off the makeup today, other than touching up his eyelashes with mascara-- his lashes are+
naturally a light orangey-red, so it's hard to see them.
Twenty minutes before the meet-up time, he texts Shuuji to let him know that he's ready. His dad always said that being early shows initiative and what better way to show enthusiasm than being ready for their date almost+
Twenty minutes before the meet-up time, he texts Shuuji to let him know that he's ready. His dad always said that being early shows initiative and what better way to show enthusiasm than being ready for their date almost+
half an hour early?
Shuuji doesn't text him back though, so he doesn't pull on his shoes and head downstairs until five minutes before they're supposed to meet.
They have an unofficial meeting spot now, where Shuuji dropped him off the night they first met, so he makes his way+
Shuuji doesn't text him back though, so he doesn't pull on his shoes and head downstairs until five minutes before they're supposed to meet.
They have an unofficial meeting spot now, where Shuuji dropped him off the night they first met, so he makes his way+
there, wallet shoved into the pocket of his jacket.
He sits on the bench, checking his phone for texts or calls. None.
He waits.
And waits.
Five minutes pass. Ten.
Fifteen.
Is he late? He's driving, so maybe he just hit some traffic and couldn't text to let him know?+
He sits on the bench, checking his phone for texts or calls. None.
He waits.
And waits.
Five minutes pass. Ten.
Fifteen.
Is he late? He's driving, so maybe he just hit some traffic and couldn't text to let him know?+
(He ignores the fact that he’s seen Shuuji text while driving more than once.)
Something just ran late, Chuuya reassures himself, shooting off another text. He lost track of time while doing homework or something.
Twenty minutes pass.
...Did he forget? Or did he not /care/?+
Something just ran late, Chuuya reassures himself, shooting off another text. He lost track of time while doing homework or something.
Twenty minutes pass.
...Did he forget? Or did he not /care/?+
Hurt and confusion and anger knot in Chuuya’s chest, tangling together so tightly together he’s not sure if he wants to get /mad/ at being left to wait, or if he wants to /cry/—
Clenching his teeth to fight back his reaction, he sends one more text. If he’s not here in five +
Clenching his teeth to fight back his reaction, he sends one more text. If he’s not here in five +
more minutes, then he’ll go back inside.
[CHUUYA]: ??????? Where are you?? Are you not coming???
And just when Chuuya is about to take what remains of his pride and dignity back to the dorm to cry about it—
The car pulls up in front of him, honking obnoxiously like /Chuuya/+
[CHUUYA]: ??????? Where are you?? Are you not coming???
And just when Chuuya is about to take what remains of his pride and dignity back to the dorm to cry about it—
The car pulls up in front of him, honking obnoxiously like /Chuuya/+
is the one that’s nearly 30 minutes late without communicating.
He stomps over, ready to give Shuuji a piece of his mind—
But when he yanks open the door, he’s greeted with a dazzling smile, brown eyes wide and innocent and begging for forgiveness, and a messy head of hair +
He stomps over, ready to give Shuuji a piece of his mind—
But when he yanks open the door, he’s greeted with a dazzling smile, brown eyes wide and innocent and begging for forgiveness, and a messy head of hair +
that looks like fingers have been running through it.
“Hey, darling,” he says sweetly, before Chuuya can yell, “sorry I’m late— I lost track of time. I would’ve texted you, but it was going to slow me down and I wanted to get here as fast as possible.”
The car smells sweet,+
“Hey, darling,” he says sweetly, before Chuuya can yell, “sorry I’m late— I lost track of time. I would’ve texted you, but it was going to slow me down and I wanted to get here as fast as possible.”
The car smells sweet,+
like candy and perfume.
“I brought you something, to make it up to you,” Shuuji continues, digging around in the center console. After a moment, he produces a single piece of candy, offering it to him.
It’s a little crumpled but—
It’s Chuuya’s favorite.
He hesitates in+
“I brought you something, to make it up to you,” Shuuji continues, digging around in the center console. After a moment, he produces a single piece of candy, offering it to him.
It’s a little crumpled but—
It’s Chuuya’s favorite.
He hesitates in+
the doorway, unsure of what he wants to do or what he’s feeling.
On one hand, the excuse is pitiful and the fact that he was /so/ late makes anger and hurt well up inside him.
He should be more important than that, right? Losing track of time without a single attempt of+
On one hand, the excuse is pitiful and the fact that he was /so/ late makes anger and hurt well up inside him.
He should be more important than that, right? Losing track of time without a single attempt of+
communication just sounds like he doesn’t want to /be/ here, with Chuuya. Like he doesn’t care.
On the other hand...he did come. And Chuuya only offhandedly mentioned his favorite candy once, so it’s sweet that he remembered. Touching.
And more importantly...
He wants tonight+
On the other hand...he did come. And Chuuya only offhandedly mentioned his favorite candy once, so it’s sweet that he remembered. Touching.
And more importantly...
He wants tonight+
to go well. /Needs/ it to go well so he can try to put this feelings of inadequacy and insecurity and confusion to rest.
Just for /one/ night, he wants it to be easy.
So he swallows hard and slides inside the car. He takes the candy, holding it in his palm like a gift. +
Just for /one/ night, he wants it to be easy.
So he swallows hard and slides inside the car. He takes the candy, holding it in his palm like a gift. +
“Thanks,” he mutters, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice, “I wish you had texted though.”
The car swerves into traffic, and Chuuya doesn’t like that he’s becoming so used to Shuuji’s driving that he barely blinks when he cuts someone off with only inches to spare.+
The car swerves into traffic, and Chuuya doesn’t like that he’s becoming so used to Shuuji’s driving that he barely blinks when he cuts someone off with only inches to spare.+
“I know, darling— but I just couldn’t.”
That explains literally nothing, but Chuuya decides to let it go. He unwraps the candy and pops it in his mouth, sucking on it silently.
It doesn’t taste as good as it normally does.
Halfway through the drive, Shuuji gets a Snapchat +
That explains literally nothing, but Chuuya decides to let it go. He unwraps the candy and pops it in his mouth, sucking on it silently.
It doesn’t taste as good as it normally does.
Halfway through the drive, Shuuji gets a Snapchat +
notification that he doesn’t open right now, but he does reach over to clear the notification from his screen.
Chuuya doesn’t notice, too busy staring broodily out the window and struggling to work himself into a better mood. If he spends the whole date grumpy and bitter, it+
Chuuya doesn’t notice, too busy staring broodily out the window and struggling to work himself into a better mood. If he spends the whole date grumpy and bitter, it+
is going to ruin the date. He won’t enjoy the movie, and if Shuuji kisses him now—
He’s more likely to bite him than to kiss him back.
And as they get closer to the house, the nerves begin to build, because there’s one thing he forgot to consider:
What if /Dazai/ is there?+
He’s more likely to bite him than to kiss him back.
And as they get closer to the house, the nerves begin to build, because there’s one thing he forgot to consider:
What if /Dazai/ is there?+
To be truthful, he hasn't been able to get that dream out of his head. He's avoided thinking about it too hard but--
There's times when he's zoning out and his mind wanders, bringing up the hazy memory of brown eyes burning into him, their breaths mingling in the tiny space +
There's times when he's zoning out and his mind wanders, bringing up the hazy memory of brown eyes burning into him, their breaths mingling in the tiny space +
between them, a large hand reaching between their pressed-together bodies, the feeling of desire so pressing and so /easy/ to give into, knowing that Dazai will take care of him, he'll make it /good/ for him--
And the resulting bolt of heat that jolts through him feels as wrong+
And the resulting bolt of heat that jolts through him feels as wrong+
as it feels /good/.
He shouldn't feel like this for Dazai. He should feel like this for /Shuuji/, right?
But whenever he thinks about Shuuji, all he feels is insecurity and the feeling of being on edge, and when he thinks about Dazai--
All he feels is the desire to /burn/. +
He shouldn't feel like this for Dazai. He should feel like this for /Shuuji/, right?
But whenever he thinks about Shuuji, all he feels is insecurity and the feeling of being on edge, and when he thinks about Dazai--
All he feels is the desire to /burn/. +
And Dazai seems to see /much/ more than he lets on, and Chuuya has never been great at lying so--
If he is there, if Chuuya even looks at him for a second, that dream is going to pop into his head, and Dazai's going to /know/. Somehow.
He's going to know that Chuuya came while+
If he is there, if Chuuya even looks at him for a second, that dream is going to pop into his head, and Dazai's going to /know/. Somehow.
He's going to know that Chuuya came while+
whimpering his name and then--
And then what?
That's the problem; he doesn't /know/. It's going to be weird,sure, but what /else/?
Will he be mad? Ban him from coming over to the house again? Stop Shuuji from seeing him? Make sure he doesn't see Yoko again?
Will he not care?+
And then what?
That's the problem; he doesn't /know/. It's going to be weird,sure, but what /else/?
Will he be mad? Ban him from coming over to the house again? Stop Shuuji from seeing him? Make sure he doesn't see Yoko again?
Will he not care?+
He's so caught up in his thoughts that the rest of the drive passes by without him noticing and when he looks up at the house--
Most of the lights are off, and the upstairs portion that Chuuya can see from here looks unoccupied.
Maybe Dazai's sleeping, but it doesn't look like+
Most of the lights are off, and the upstairs portion that Chuuya can see from here looks unoccupied.
Maybe Dazai's sleeping, but it doesn't look like+
anyone is home.
(He ignores the pang of disappointment that he feels.)
Shuuji takes up the entire driveway with his parking, and Chuuya exits the vehicle as fast as humanly possible. The nausea isn't as bad today, because apparently he's getting used to the driving, but that +
(He ignores the pang of disappointment that he feels.)
Shuuji takes up the entire driveway with his parking, and Chuuya exits the vehicle as fast as humanly possible. The nausea isn't as bad today, because apparently he's getting used to the driving, but that +
doesn't mean he wants to be in the car for any longer than necessary.
Shuuji goes to unlock the door,keys jingling.
Chuuya is right behind,eagerly bouncing up on his toes and waiting for Yoko to come bolting out of the door to greet him--
When the door opens, nothing happens.+
Shuuji goes to unlock the door,keys jingling.
Chuuya is right behind,eagerly bouncing up on his toes and waiting for Yoko to come bolting out of the door to greet him--
When the door opens, nothing happens.+
No dogs come running out to greet him, no one with dark hair and criminally broad shoulders looks at him.
It's just an empty house.
"Where are the dogs?" he dares to ask, kicking off his shoes alongside Shuuji. There's an empty space in the line of shoes, like a pair has been+
It's just an empty house.
"Where are the dogs?" he dares to ask, kicking off his shoes alongside Shuuji. There's an empty space in the line of shoes, like a pair has been+
taken.
Shuuji shrugs a shoulder. "I put them in their kennels before I left."
That seems like the /opposite/ of what you should do with your guard dogs, but it's not Chuuya's place to judge.
"Where are they? I'd like to say hello."
Shuuji stares at him, like he's evaluating+
Shuuji shrugs a shoulder. "I put them in their kennels before I left."
That seems like the /opposite/ of what you should do with your guard dogs, but it's not Chuuya's place to judge.
"Where are they? I'd like to say hello."
Shuuji stares at him, like he's evaluating+
his words,like he doesn't /trust/ him.Why is the idea that he wants to say hi so weird to him?The dogs might not be very friendly with /him/, but Yoko likes Chuuya just fine.
Eventually, he gestures to the long hallway to their left, haughtily, like he's doing Chuuya a /favor/.+
Eventually, he gestures to the long hallway to their left, haughtily, like he's doing Chuuya a /favor/.+
"Down there, door on the right."
Honestly, maybe if Shuuji were /nicer/ to the dogs, instead of treating them like pests and something to be treated with force and disrespect--
Maybe they'd like him more.
Chuuya takes off down the hallway, finding the door Shuuji mentioned. +
Honestly, maybe if Shuuji were /nicer/ to the dogs, instead of treating them like pests and something to be treated with force and disrespect--
Maybe they'd like him more.
Chuuya takes off down the hallway, finding the door Shuuji mentioned. +
Inside the room, there's a few storage bins that look like they're filled with dog food, some extra household items, and an entire bin filled with dog toys.
And two kennels, filled with two dogs that are /very/ happy to see him.
"Hello Yoko, Kozo," he coos, reaching down to +
And two kennels, filled with two dogs that are /very/ happy to see him.
"Hello Yoko, Kozo," he coos, reaching down to +
pet them through the bars of their jailcell.
Kozo presses his nose against the metal, squishing his own face, while Yoko spins in excited circles, pausing intermittently to paw at the cage.
Clearly, they both want to be let out, and they aren't /Chuuya's/ dogs but--
He bites+
Kozo presses his nose against the metal, squishing his own face, while Yoko spins in excited circles, pausing intermittently to paw at the cage.
Clearly, they both want to be let out, and they aren't /Chuuya's/ dogs but--
He bites+
his lip.The only reason Shuuji locks them up is because they don't like him, right?
So if Chuuya makes sure they leave him alone, he won't care, right? He doesn't want to leave them alone in here. They look so /pitiful/, eyes huge and pleading for him to let them out of prison.+
So if Chuuya makes sure they leave him alone, he won't care, right? He doesn't want to leave them alone in here. They look so /pitiful/, eyes huge and pleading for him to let them out of prison.+
With steady fingers, he unlocks Yoko's cage first, then Kozo's.
Yoko tackles him to the ground, tail wagging so hard that her entire body moves with it, pushing her face under his hands and basically petting herself. Kozo starts his customary sniff-test, starting at Chuuya's +
Yoko tackles him to the ground, tail wagging so hard that her entire body moves with it, pushing her face under his hands and basically petting herself. Kozo starts his customary sniff-test, starting at Chuuya's +
feet and making his way up.
Chuuya squirms when he gets to his neck, because his nose is cold and his breath tickles his ear. Kozo follows him, intent on his job, before ending it with a long, wet lick over his face.
"Thanks," Chuuya mutters, wiping dog slobber off his cheek.+
Chuuya squirms when he gets to his neck, because his nose is cold and his breath tickles his ear. Kozo follows him, intent on his job, before ending it with a long, wet lick over his face.
"Thanks," Chuuya mutters, wiping dog slobber off his cheek.+
Not that he doesn’t appreciate the dog kisses, but he doesn’t want his face smelling like dog breath.
Not that Kozo seems to care, panting happily in his face and pushing his head into Chuuya’s hand for scratches.
After he’s given Kozo his share of pets and Yoko her double +
Not that Kozo seems to care, panting happily in his face and pushing his head into Chuuya’s hand for scratches.
After he’s given Kozo his share of pets and Yoko her double +
share (unfortunately for Kozo, Chuuya does play favorites) he lets them both out and walks back to the living room.
Shuuji has sprawled across the living room couch, remote in hand as he surfs the TV for a movie to watch. He perks up when he hears Chuuya’s footsteps, only to +
Shuuji has sprawled across the living room couch, remote in hand as he surfs the TV for a movie to watch. He perks up when he hears Chuuya’s footsteps, only to +
scowl when he sees the dogs trotting happily beside him. “Why’d you let them out? I didn’t say you could.”
That /is/ true, and it makes Chuuya hesitate. He hates being rude but there’s just no /reason/ to have the dogs locked up where they can’t do their jobs.
That thought +
That /is/ true, and it makes Chuuya hesitate. He hates being rude but there’s just no /reason/ to have the dogs locked up where they can’t do their jobs.
That thought +
inspires him. “Well, I feel safer when they’re not locked up. Your dad’s job is dangerous, right? What if something happens?”
He adds in his best puppy eyes, staring at Shuuji until he reluctantly backs down.
“Fine,” he agrees, “but put them outside. I’m more than capable of+
He adds in his best puppy eyes, staring at Shuuji until he reluctantly backs down.
“Fine,” he agrees, “but put them outside. I’m more than capable of+
protecting /you./“
That makes Chuuya bristle, because he /is/ a Judo champion, thank you very much, and can certainly protect /himself/, probably way better than Shuuji could.
It also implies that Chuuya is weak or maybe soft, and either way, it makes irritation buzz through+
That makes Chuuya bristle, because he /is/ a Judo champion, thank you very much, and can certainly protect /himself/, probably way better than Shuuji could.
It also implies that Chuuya is weak or maybe soft, and either way, it makes irritation buzz through+
him.
Whatever, though. Shuuji can tell himself whatever he wants, while Chuuya wins by having the dogs out.
He does usher them outside though, pushing on Yoko’s nose when she tries to follow him back in.
“I’ll be back for you,” he whispers conspiratorially, giving her a+
Whatever, though. Shuuji can tell himself whatever he wants, while Chuuya wins by having the dogs out.
He does usher them outside though, pushing on Yoko’s nose when she tries to follow him back in.
“I’ll be back for you,” he whispers conspiratorially, giving her a+
quick kiss on the forehead before shutting the door.
She looks at him through the glass like she’s never experienced such betrayal before.
He pads back to the living room, settling on the couch near Shuuji. After a moments hesitation, he scoots a little closer, /trying/ to+
She looks at him through the glass like she’s never experienced such betrayal before.
He pads back to the living room, settling on the couch near Shuuji. After a moments hesitation, he scoots a little closer, /trying/ to+
be a good date and show that he likes him.
The smile he gets in return soothes the strange tension in his stomach, one that urges him to get some distance between them.
He doesn’t know what movie Shuuji chose—some scary movie, he guesses, based on all the fake blood and props.+
The smile he gets in return soothes the strange tension in his stomach, one that urges him to get some distance between them.
He doesn’t know what movie Shuuji chose—some scary movie, he guesses, based on all the fake blood and props.+
It’s too early in the year for scary stories, though apparently /this/ friend group doesn’t seem to care that much. Maybe the story Yuan told him at the beginning of the week was part of a plan?
Who knows.
The movie is cheesy, not scary at all unless you count the random +
Who knows.
The movie is cheesy, not scary at all unless you count the random +
jump scares sprinkled throughout.
Shuuji even yelps at one of them, which makes Chuuya smile.
For a long while, everything is good. The movie isn’t scary, but it’s funny, and he’s sitting near Shuuji and he’s finally feeling relaxed.
For a while, at least. +
Shuuji even yelps at one of them, which makes Chuuya smile.
For a long while, everything is good. The movie isn’t scary, but it’s funny, and he’s sitting near Shuuji and he’s finally feeling relaxed.
For a while, at least. +
******* THE NEXT FEW TWEETS MAY CONTAIN MATERIAL THAT IS TRIGGERING TO THOSE SENSITIVE TO SEXUAL ASSAULT/ HARASSMENT. PROCEED WITH CAUTION *******
Halfway through, fingers find his knee. They tickle more than anything, sending sharp shivers down his spine, and something about +
Halfway through, fingers find his knee. They tickle more than anything, sending sharp shivers down his spine, and something about +
the way they slowly creep upward before sweeping downward, only to slither back up again even higher—
It makes him nervous. Makes him shift in place and swallow hard to calm the ball of anxiety in his stomach.
It’s not /bad/, he just—
Doesn’t think he wants it.
But Shuuji+
It makes him nervous. Makes him shift in place and swallow hard to calm the ball of anxiety in his stomach.
It’s not /bad/, he just—
Doesn’t think he wants it.
But Shuuji+
is staring at him, Chuuya can see it from the corner of his eye.
And he’s—
He doesn’t know what Shuuji will /do/ if he says no again. The first time, he had to walk home. The second time, he got irritated with him.
He doesn’t know what the /third/ time will bring him, and+
And he’s—
He doesn’t know what Shuuji will /do/ if he says no again. The first time, he had to walk home. The second time, he got irritated with him.
He doesn’t know what the /third/ time will bring him, and+
isn’t he supposed to /like/ this?
That’s what he said he’d do, and god, he just wants to have a normal, /fun/ date that doesn’t end with him feeling even worse than before.
So he allows it, tells himself to stop being so dramatic about some fingers on his thigh. It’s not a big+
That’s what he said he’d do, and god, he just wants to have a normal, /fun/ date that doesn’t end with him feeling even worse than before.
So he allows it, tells himself to stop being so dramatic about some fingers on his thigh. It’s not a big+
deal. He’s just being a baby.
Then, eventually:
“Chuuya.”
Shuuji’s voice somehow makes him flinch harder than all the jump scares in the movie. He laughs it off nervously, turning his head to look at him. “Yeah?”
And he should really be expecting it, it’s par for the +
Then, eventually:
“Chuuya.”
Shuuji’s voice somehow makes him flinch harder than all the jump scares in the movie. He laughs it off nervously, turning his head to look at him. “Yeah?”
And he should really be expecting it, it’s par for the +
course by now, and he feels pretty stupid for not anticipating it—
Shuuji kisses him.
They’ve gotten better at it over the week, so it’s less harsh than the first kisses, more welcoming.
Chuuya forces himself to relax into it, because he knows this. This is familiar ground.+
Shuuji kisses him.
They’ve gotten better at it over the week, so it’s less harsh than the first kisses, more welcoming.
Chuuya forces himself to relax into it, because he knows this. This is familiar ground.+
It may not be as good as everyone says it is, but it’s not /awful/, not anymore.
For a minute, it’s good. Their lips move together and Shuuji has been chewing gum, and it’s just...
It’s alright. It doesn’t make him shiver, and the hand stops on his thigh, a /little/ too +
For a minute, it’s good. Their lips move together and Shuuji has been chewing gum, and it’s just...
It’s alright. It doesn’t make him shiver, and the hand stops on his thigh, a /little/ too +
high for comfort, but at least it’s stopped moving.
Then, Shuuji gets /excited/, confident, sure of himself.
He pushes forward for more, trying to deepen the kiss by force.
Chuuya is automatically flinching back before he realizes it, but Shuuji chases after him, breath +
Then, Shuuji gets /excited/, confident, sure of himself.
He pushes forward for more, trying to deepen the kiss by force.
Chuuya is automatically flinching back before he realizes it, but Shuuji chases after him, breath +
sickeningly hot.
It goes like that, a dance of retreat and follow, until Chuuya realizes he’s made a grave error.
Instead of scooting back, he’d just leaned back, relying on his abs to keep him upright. But he’s sitting on the couch, and he only has so far he can go until—+
It goes like that, a dance of retreat and follow, until Chuuya realizes he’s made a grave error.
Instead of scooting back, he’d just leaned back, relying on his abs to keep him upright. But he’s sitting on the couch, and he only has so far he can go until—+
His back hits the cushions, and now he’s /trapped/.
Shuuji is leaning heavily on him, most of his weight centered over his hips, and he’s /still/ trying to kiss Chuuya, harder and deeper.
His hands clench down, /hard/, on his shoulders, and Chuuya’s mind—
It goes blank, +
Shuuji is leaning heavily on him, most of his weight centered over his hips, and he’s /still/ trying to kiss Chuuya, harder and deeper.
His hands clench down, /hard/, on his shoulders, and Chuuya’s mind—
It goes blank, +
flashing back to the times he had to /shove/ Shuuji off him with most of his strength and then—
Then it comes alive with panic and fear, because Shuuji is /so/ heavy on top of him, and Chuuya doesn’t have a lot of leverage and he’s /trapped/ and he won’t /stop/, he’s still— +
Then it comes alive with panic and fear, because Shuuji is /so/ heavy on top of him, and Chuuya doesn’t have a lot of leverage and he’s /trapped/ and he won’t /stop/, he’s still— +
He’s fighting before he realizes it, most of his training fleeing his mind in panic, and he’s planting his hands on Shuuji’s shoulders and /shoving/ him back.
/Get off, get off, please get off me—/
“What the /fuck/, Chuuya?”
His voice is like cold water on his head, stalling+
/Get off, get off, please get off me—/
“What the /fuck/, Chuuya?”
His voice is like cold water on his head, stalling+
his mind in its track and his breath in his chest.
Shuuji sits up,wiping his mouth. “Will you /stop/ acting like I’m a /bad/ guy who’s going to hurt you?I haven’t even done anything to you!”
Chuuya opens his mouth to snap back ‘you /have/ done something to me, you make me feel+
Shuuji sits up,wiping his mouth. “Will you /stop/ acting like I’m a /bad/ guy who’s going to hurt you?I haven’t even done anything to you!”
Chuuya opens his mouth to snap back ‘you /have/ done something to me, you make me feel+
stupid and wrong and you don’t make me feel safe and I have /no/ idea what to do about it and you don’t /help/—‘
But then he realizes...
That’s not exactly fair, is it? Yes, Shuuji is pushy and forceful but—
Chuuya hasn’t exactly told him a straightforward /no/, has he?+
But then he realizes...
That’s not exactly fair, is it? Yes, Shuuji is pushy and forceful but—
Chuuya hasn’t exactly told him a straightforward /no/, has he?+
He’s been treating Shuuji like someone he has to /handle/ and force himself to tolerate, when he hasn’t even /tried/ to communicate.
He never told him he was uncomfortable. He never told him he didn’t like what he was doing. How was he supposed to know? He can’t read Chuuya’s+
He never told him he was uncomfortable. He never told him he didn’t like what he was doing. How was he supposed to know? He can’t read Chuuya’s+
mind.
Maybe if he had tried talking to him instead of avoiding it and trying to silently manipulate the situation into something that was better for him—
Maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe he wouldn’t be sitting here, feeling like pure, utter shit, /so/ guilty and still+
Maybe if he had tried talking to him instead of avoiding it and trying to silently manipulate the situation into something that was better for him—
Maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe he wouldn’t be sitting here, feeling like pure, utter shit, /so/ guilty and still+
shaking from the brief panic.
God, why is he so fucking /stupid/? Why can’t he do /anything/ right?
He closes his eyes, feeling the prick of tears. “I’m sorry, I just— I guess I just don’t like being pinned. I didn’t mean to freak out like that.”
“That’s /not/ what you were+
God, why is he so fucking /stupid/? Why can’t he do /anything/ right?
He closes his eyes, feeling the prick of tears. “I’m sorry, I just— I guess I just don’t like being pinned. I didn’t mean to freak out like that.”
“That’s /not/ what you were+
saying this whole week?! You liked me pushing you against the wall just fine then, didn’t you?”
He didn’t actually, but it was better and easier to handle when he was standing. “I just wasn’t /expecting/ it, and it freaked me out a little. I don’t think you’re gonna hurt me, +
He didn’t actually, but it was better and easier to handle when he was standing. “I just wasn’t /expecting/ it, and it freaked me out a little. I don’t think you’re gonna hurt me, +
I just— I don’t like being taken by surprise, that’s all.”
Shuuji stands up, and now he’s /angry/, voice rising and shaking with it. “/Again/, that’s not what you’ve been saying this whole time! I’ve been kissing you like that the /entire/ time and /suddenly/ you have a problem+
Shuuji stands up, and now he’s /angry/, voice rising and shaking with it. “/Again/, that’s not what you’ve been saying this whole time! I’ve been kissing you like that the /entire/ time and /suddenly/ you have a problem+
with it? Make up your fucking mind, Chuuya.”
Chuuya curls up, fighting back tears. He doesn’t like that Shuuji is yelling at him about this. It makes everything so much /harder/ to deal with, the knot of emotion winding tighter in his chest.
It’s getting hard to breathe. +
Chuuya curls up, fighting back tears. He doesn’t like that Shuuji is yelling at him about this. It makes everything so much /harder/ to deal with, the knot of emotion winding tighter in his chest.
It’s getting hard to breathe. +
He doesn’t even know /what/ he’s feeling right now, only that there’s a /lot/ of it, and it’s making him feel sick. “I’m /sorry/—,” he tries again, desperate.
He just has to explain better.Maybe if he could fucking /speak/ instead of crying like a baby right now, he wouldn’t be+
He just has to explain better.Maybe if he could fucking /speak/ instead of crying like a baby right now, he wouldn’t be+
yelling.
Shuuji scoffs, throwing up his hands. “Whatever, Chuuya. Make up your mind, and then come talk to me. This whole hot-and-cold, teasing thing is /not/ cute. Grow up.”
Then he leaves, which is a blessing and a curse, because Chuuya’s ears are ringing in the sudden +
Shuuji scoffs, throwing up his hands. “Whatever, Chuuya. Make up your mind, and then come talk to me. This whole hot-and-cold, teasing thing is /not/ cute. Grow up.”
Then he leaves, which is a blessing and a curse, because Chuuya’s ears are ringing in the sudden +
silence, and he’s breaking down but—
At least it’s over. At least it’s done.
************ TAG WARNING OVER. SUMMARY: Shuuji kisses Chuuya, pins him with his weight, which makes Chuuya panic. They argue. ******
+
At least it’s over. At least it’s done.
************ TAG WARNING OVER. SUMMARY: Shuuji kisses Chuuya, pins him with his weight, which makes Chuuya panic. They argue. ******
+
When the scratch at the back door comes, Chuuya flinches hard. His heart is still beating overtime and every nerve is on edge.
It’s only until another scratch comes that the sound registers.
The dogs.
Something about that, the dogs needing him, the dogs /wanting/ him makes+
It’s only until another scratch comes that the sound registers.
The dogs.
Something about that, the dogs needing him, the dogs /wanting/ him makes+
him choke up, throat closing.
He stumbles up, vision blurred, and staggers to the back door.
Yoko is waiting for him, and when she sees him, she knocks at the glass again. She looks /so/ soft, warm and welcoming and gentle—
Chuuya wants her /so/ bad right now.
So he opens+
He stumbles up, vision blurred, and staggers to the back door.
Yoko is waiting for him, and when she sees him, she knocks at the glass again. She looks /so/ soft, warm and welcoming and gentle—
Chuuya wants her /so/ bad right now.
So he opens+
the door to let them both in, falling to his knees to wrap his arms around Yoko’s neck tightly.
She sits still for him, her head hanging over his shoulder as he buries his face into her soft neck fur.
Kozo comes to investigate, snuffling his hair, making a low whining noise+
She sits still for him, her head hanging over his shoulder as he buries his face into her soft neck fur.
Kozo comes to investigate, snuffling his hair, making a low whining noise+
in the back of his throat.
Chuuya laughs wetly, reaching a hand out to pet him. “I’m okay, Kozo,” he murmurs, petting him mindlessly.
Truthfully, he’s not. But now that it’s over, and he has someone warm and loving and gentle in his arms, letting him cry over them— +
Chuuya laughs wetly, reaching a hand out to pet him. “I’m okay, Kozo,” he murmurs, petting him mindlessly.
Truthfully, he’s not. But now that it’s over, and he has someone warm and loving and gentle in his arms, letting him cry over them— +
He’s getting better. Slowly but surely.
He kneels there on the floor until his knees ache, hugging Yoko around the neck and stroking Kozo’s head. Neither of them move, not even Kozo, who usually leaves Chuuya alone after a long hello.
Both of them seem to sense how much he+
He kneels there on the floor until his knees ache, hugging Yoko around the neck and stroking Kozo’s head. Neither of them move, not even Kozo, who usually leaves Chuuya alone after a long hello.
Both of them seem to sense how much he+
needs them right now, because they sit on the floor with him, and when he eventually moves back to the couch, they follow at his heels.
He doesn’t know if they’re allowed on the couch, but he doesn’t care right now, squishing himself tightly against the back and patting the +
He doesn’t know if they’re allowed on the couch, but he doesn’t care right now, squishing himself tightly against the back and patting the +
empty space in front of him until Yoko climbs up and cuddles up with him.
Kozo remains on the floor, and Chuuya dangles one hand over the edge so he can rest it on his head.
He knows he should go home now, but he doesn’t want to see him right now. Doesn’t want to argue again+
Kozo remains on the floor, and Chuuya dangles one hand over the edge so he can rest it on his head.
He knows he should go home now, but he doesn’t want to see him right now. Doesn’t want to argue again+
and doesn’t want to have to beg for a ride home.
Also doesn’t want to see Nikolai right now, and have to explain why he’s still silently crying.
It’s okay, he tells himself miserably, he’ll just wait until Dazai gets home, and he’ll ask him for a ride.
Eventually, the movie+
Also doesn’t want to see Nikolai right now, and have to explain why he’s still silently crying.
It’s okay, he tells himself miserably, he’ll just wait until Dazai gets home, and he’ll ask him for a ride.
Eventually, the movie+
they had playing on the TV ends, and the screen goes black. He doesn’t start up another one, partly because that would mean getting up and moving, and partly because the remote is complicated and he’s too stupid to figure it out right now.
As the sun goes down, the living room+
As the sun goes down, the living room+
goes dark.
Eventually his tears stop, and even more eventually—
His hands still, and he falls asleep, curled up on the couch and waiting for Dazai to come home.
————
By the time Dazai gets home, he’s too exhausted to even get mad at the car parked lopsidedly in the driveway.+
Eventually his tears stop, and even more eventually—
His hands still, and he falls asleep, curled up on the couch and waiting for Dazai to come home.
————
By the time Dazai gets home, he’s too exhausted to even get mad at the car parked lopsidedly in the driveway.+
Usually he feels /some/ anger and irritation but it’s been a /long/ day, and half of his information fell through and the /other/ half had to be beaten out of his informat, and now there’s /blood/ on his knuckles, which ruins the foundation covering his tattoos and it’s /two/ +
in the morning, he’s exhausted and /barely/ got any progress done today, and there’s even /more/ work tomorrow—
So yeah, when he sees that stupid car parked like Shuuji hasn’t even /seen/ a parking lot?
He just doesn’t care anymore. Just one more thing on top of his bad day.+
So yeah, when he sees that stupid car parked like Shuuji hasn’t even /seen/ a parking lot?
He just doesn’t care anymore. Just one more thing on top of his bad day.+
He’s not even surprised. Just a normal Saturday in /his/ life!
Welcome to paradise, he grumbles to himself, before parking his motorcycle in the /tiny/ space left to do so.
At least the car is locked. He’ll have to move it in the morning, but /that/ is a problem for future +
Welcome to paradise, he grumbles to himself, before parking his motorcycle in the /tiny/ space left to do so.
At least the car is locked. He’ll have to move it in the morning, but /that/ is a problem for future +
Dazai.
/Present/ Dazai’s problem is one he isn’t expecting, though:
When he opens the door, stepping into the dark house and going to hang up his keys—
A loud growl rips through the silence, making him freeze in place.
It’s taken a long time for Dazai to get over his fear+
/Present/ Dazai’s problem is one he isn’t expecting, though:
When he opens the door, stepping into the dark house and going to hang up his keys—
A loud growl rips through the silence, making him freeze in place.
It’s taken a long time for Dazai to get over his fear+
of dogs. It took handling Kozo and Yoko since they were too young to even leave their mother, sleeping with them, carrying them with him wherever he want as exposure therapy.
It took teaching them a command that told them to /immediately/ back off and lay down, whenever his+
It took teaching them a command that told them to /immediately/ back off and lay down, whenever his+
fear started to act up.
It took wrestling with them with the bite sleeve on, until he was confident that they wouldn’t add to the myriad of bite scars already marked into his skin.
It took a /long/ time to get past all his bad memories but—
When that growl tears through the+
It took wrestling with them with the bite sleeve on, until he was confident that they wouldn’t add to the myriad of bite scars already marked into his skin.
It took a /long/ time to get past all his bad memories but—
When that growl tears through the+
air, vicious and dangerous, a clear warning and prelude to more—
For a moment, he’s fifteen again, locked in a corner as the dogs approach, snarling and slavering over their jaws as they hunt him down. Knowing no one is going to come for him—
Because he’s /exactly/ where he’s+
For a moment, he’s fifteen again, locked in a corner as the dogs approach, snarling and slavering over their jaws as they hunt him down. Knowing no one is going to come for him—
Because he’s /exactly/ where he’s+
supposed to be.
/ First rule of the mafia, Dazai-kun: your subordinates must fear you more than they respect you. /
Stop.
He’s /not/ 15 anymore, he’s not in the mafia, and he’s /not/ a helpless, scared child anymore.
He’s a grown man, this is /his/ house, and these are+
/ First rule of the mafia, Dazai-kun: your subordinates must fear you more than they respect you. /
Stop.
He’s /not/ 15 anymore, he’s not in the mafia, and he’s /not/ a helpless, scared child anymore.
He’s a grown man, this is /his/ house, and these are+
/his/ dogs.
Who would not /snarl/ at him without a reason.
The light feom the lamps outside is just enough to reflect off their eyes, glinting at him from two different spots of the room. They’re staring him down, locked on target, waiting for a reason to lunge.
Warily, he+
Who would not /snarl/ at him without a reason.
The light feom the lamps outside is just enough to reflect off their eyes, glinting at him from two different spots of the room. They’re staring him down, locked on target, waiting for a reason to lunge.
Warily, he+
flips the light switch, lighting up the living room.
And finds himself with a /weird/ situation, one he’s not quite sure how to handle.
First off, Kozo is lying between the front door and the entrance of the stairs. He’s got his head up and staring him down intently.
Usually,+
And finds himself with a /weird/ situation, one he’s not quite sure how to handle.
First off, Kozo is lying between the front door and the entrance of the stairs. He’s got his head up and staring him down intently.
Usually,+
Kozo sleeps in the kitchen. Probably thinks that it’s going to get him fed earlier.
And he sleeps on his side, and his fur is long enough that he gets the doggy version of bed-head, looking rumpled on one side.
Now, his fur is sleek and neat, so obviously he wasn’t really +
And he sleeps on his side, and his fur is long enough that he gets the doggy version of bed-head, looking rumpled on one side.
Now, his fur is sleek and neat, so obviously he wasn’t really +
sleeping. He was just... laying between the stairs and the couch? Waiting?
And the second part, this is the weirdest one—
Yoko is /on/ the couch.
Normally, he’d discipline her for that, because they’re not allowed on the couch (their claws tear up the fabric so quickly), +
And the second part, this is the weirdest one—
Yoko is /on/ the couch.
Normally, he’d discipline her for that, because they’re not allowed on the couch (their claws tear up the fabric so quickly), +
but she’s perched with her front legs on the back of the couch, her back legs still on the cushions, her head lowered and eyes /fixed/ on him—
And /she’s/ the one growling at him, even now.
What the hell happened? He was only gone for a few hours, definitely not long enough +
And /she’s/ the one growling at him, even now.
What the hell happened? He was only gone for a few hours, definitely not long enough +
for his dogs to lose all sense of manners, and /definitely/ not long enough for them to turn on him.
He leans over cautiously, looking over the side of the couch to see what she’s guarding so fiercely—
Oh.
It’s... Chuuya? Curled up in a little ball on the couch, fast asleep.+
He leans over cautiously, looking over the side of the couch to see what she’s guarding so fiercely—
Oh.
It’s... Chuuya? Curled up in a little ball on the couch, fast asleep.+
Well he didn’t even know Chuuya was going to be here today, and clearly /something/ happened to have the dogs so anxious, but the house looks fine and the security system is untouched.
He looks at Chuuya, curled up as small as he can get, looks back at Yoko who is basically+
He looks at Chuuya, curled up as small as he can get, looks back at Yoko who is basically+
standing on him as she guards him and—
Honestly, he has no idea what’s going on, and he can’t exactly find out without waking up Chuuya.
Since he /doesn’t/ want his fingers bitten off just yet, he leaves Yoko to her job for now. Instead he goes to Kozo, crouching down beside+
Honestly, he has no idea what’s going on, and he can’t exactly find out without waking up Chuuya.
Since he /doesn’t/ want his fingers bitten off just yet, he leaves Yoko to her job for now. Instead he goes to Kozo, crouching down beside+
him and offering his hand to sniff.
He’s much calmer, though he’s very interested in the blood on Dazai’s knuckles, spending a decent amount of time snuffling at his hand.
When he doesn’t move, Dazai lays his other hand on his head, ruffling his ears fondly. “What’s got you so+
He’s much calmer, though he’s very interested in the blood on Dazai’s knuckles, spending a decent amount of time snuffling at his hand.
When he doesn’t move, Dazai lays his other hand on his head, ruffling his ears fondly. “What’s got you so+
worried, boy?” He murmurs, his gaze wandering to the stairs.
He’s /starting/ to get some suspicions, based on the fact that Kozo is lying in /front/ of the stairs and blocking the entrance—
And he doesn’t like any of the thoughts that pop up in his head. Even the tamest one +
He’s /starting/ to get some suspicions, based on the fact that Kozo is lying in /front/ of the stairs and blocking the entrance—
And he doesn’t like any of the thoughts that pop up in his head. Even the tamest one +
makes his jaw clench and anger begin to swirl inside of him.
Once Kozo is settled, he moves onto the kitchen, leaving Yoko to calm down a bit more before he dares to approach her.
He washes his hands, makes himself something quick and easy to eat and then—
Begins to look+
Once Kozo is settled, he moves onto the kitchen, leaving Yoko to calm down a bit more before he dares to approach her.
He washes his hands, makes himself something quick and easy to eat and then—
Begins to look+
for evidence.
Clearly /something/ happened. The dogs aren’t that easy to rile up, and the fact that they’re guarding Chuuya after he’s been sleeping for a while, means that something put them on edge.
But there’s nothing he can find. The doors are locked, the windows are +
Clearly /something/ happened. The dogs aren’t that easy to rile up, and the fact that they’re guarding Chuuya after he’s been sleeping for a while, means that something put them on edge.
But there’s nothing he can find. The doors are locked, the windows are +
intact and shut, the security system is uncompromised. Even the kitchen is clean.
There’s no trace of /anything/.
The only people in the house who know what happened are Shuuji...
His eyes wander back to the living room.
And Chuuya.
When he steps back into the living room+
There’s no trace of /anything/.
The only people in the house who know what happened are Shuuji...
His eyes wander back to the living room.
And Chuuya.
When he steps back into the living room+
Yoko has left her perch and is now sitting on the floor near Chuuya’s head, sitting alert and facing him.
He doesn’t dare approach him without getting her approval, so he walks up to her cautiously.
She lets him approach, but her tail does not wave and her eyes do not leave+
He doesn’t dare approach him without getting her approval, so he walks up to her cautiously.
She lets him approach, but her tail does not wave and her eyes do not leave+
his face.She’s as stiff as a board, tension vibrating through her.
It makes his head ache with memories, but he crouches down calmly next to her and lets her take him in.Clearly she needs to be reassured that he’s not an enemy, and even though he hates these kind of stand-offs—+
It makes his head ache with memories, but he crouches down calmly next to her and lets her take him in.Clearly she needs to be reassured that he’s not an enemy, and even though he hates these kind of stand-offs—+
He does it for her. And for Chuuya.
Eventually she leans forward to sniff him, and he smiles, offering up his hand.
“You’re choosing him over me, huh?” He says softly, letting out an amused huff. “Who knew you would turn traitor so easily?”
She sniffs his palm haughtily, +
Eventually she leans forward to sniff him, and he smiles, offering up his hand.
“You’re choosing him over me, huh?” He says softly, letting out an amused huff. “Who knew you would turn traitor so easily?”
She sniffs his palm haughtily, +
eyeing him.
Then she completely dismisses him, turning back to push her head underneath Chuuya’s dangling hand.
Dazai hasn’t looked yet. Is a little afraid too, really, because his /imagination/ is bad enough and if he finds him hurt—
He doesn’t think he’ll be able to +
Then she completely dismisses him, turning back to push her head underneath Chuuya’s dangling hand.
Dazai hasn’t looked yet. Is a little afraid too, really, because his /imagination/ is bad enough and if he finds him hurt—
He doesn’t think he’ll be able to +
control himself. Not today, not with this.
Still, he can’t just /not/ look so he prepares himself, clenching his jaw until it aches as he turns his head—
Chuuya looks...
Exhausted, more than anything, deep circles under his eyes and his face pale and wan. His hair is a mess+
Still, he can’t just /not/ look so he prepares himself, clenching his jaw until it aches as he turns his head—
Chuuya looks...
Exhausted, more than anything, deep circles under his eyes and his face pale and wan. His hair is a mess+
and sticking up in odd places. It looks like it was curled once, but has been flattened by the way he’s sleeping.
There’s traces of mascara on his cheeks, hastily wiped away. He’s been crying.
The jolt of fury is so /visceral/ that Dazai has to close his fist around his leg,+
There’s traces of mascara on his cheeks, hastily wiped away. He’s been crying.
The jolt of fury is so /visceral/ that Dazai has to close his fist around his leg,+
digging his nails in to gain control of himself.
His heart is suddenly roaring in his ears, and that dark, traumatized, /violent/ part of himself wants /blood/.
He forces himself to keep looking, checking him over for blood or injuries.
Chuuya looks otherwise okay, his+
His heart is suddenly roaring in his ears, and that dark, traumatized, /violent/ part of himself wants /blood/.
He forces himself to keep looking, checking him over for blood or injuries.
Chuuya looks otherwise okay, his+
clothes rumpled but intact, no trace of injuries, breathing deep and even.
Just the crying then.
It feels wrong to be relieved by that, but for a second, with how heavily he was asleep, Dazai thought—
He really thought—
Thought he was going to be looking at a /victim/ +
Just the crying then.
It feels wrong to be relieved by that, but for a second, with how heavily he was asleep, Dazai thought—
He really thought—
Thought he was going to be looking at a /victim/ +
instead of a boy exhausted by an emotional breakdown.
Which doesn’t make it /okay/, but it does make it the best possible outcome.
The question is, what does he do /now/?
He doesn’t want to wake him up. He looks so exhausted that the thought of shaking him awake makes Dazai+
Which doesn’t make it /okay/, but it does make it the best possible outcome.
The question is, what does he do /now/?
He doesn’t want to wake him up. He looks so exhausted that the thought of shaking him awake makes Dazai+
ache with sympathy. He needs sleep more than he needs Dazai interrogating him on what happened.
He /could/ go upstairs and drag Shuuji out of his bed and demand what happened but—
Without Chuuya awake to give his story, he won’t know if he’s lying.
(He wants to go up there.+
He /could/ go upstairs and drag Shuuji out of his bed and demand what happened but—
Without Chuuya awake to give his story, he won’t know if he’s lying.
(He wants to go up there.+
He does. He wants to go up there and /demand/ why Chuuya cried himself to sleep on his couch and what the fuck happened to cause it, and if Shuuji /did/ something or if he dares to /lie/ to him again—
God, he’s /so/ angry.)
But that won’t accomplish anything, not yet. He needs+
God, he’s /so/ angry.)
But that won’t accomplish anything, not yet. He needs+
to wait. Needs to be /patient/.
Needs to plan.
But first—
He needs to get Chuuya to bed. The redhead looks comfortable on the couch, curled up and snoring away, but there’s no pillows and no blankets.
It’s warm enough to sleep without one, but he looks so /pitiful/ like +
Needs to plan.
But first—
He needs to get Chuuya to bed. The redhead looks comfortable on the couch, curled up and snoring away, but there’s no pillows and no blankets.
It’s warm enough to sleep without one, but he looks so /pitiful/ like +
this. He can’t just leave him here, like a homeless kitten curled up in the only warmth it can find.
With a sigh, he stands up again, taking a step closer. Yoko backs off a little, finally accepting that he’s not going to cause any harm.
He has to bend down quite a bit to +
With a sigh, he stands up again, taking a step closer. Yoko backs off a little, finally accepting that he’s not going to cause any harm.
He has to bend down quite a bit to +
slide his arms gently under his body, one under his legs and the other supporting his back. He’s light enough that it’s barely a strain to stand back up with him.
Dazai freezes when Chuuya stirs, wondering exactly how he’s going to explain why he’s carrying him in his sleep— +
Dazai freezes when Chuuya stirs, wondering exactly how he’s going to explain why he’s carrying him in his sleep— +
But he doesn’t wake fully, only turning his head into Dazai’s chest with a sleepy sigh and an incoherent mumble.
Dazai’s heart feels too big for his chest, suddenly.
“Shh, sweetheart, go back to sleep,” he murmurs quietly, shushing him, “I’ve got you.”
Both of the dogs +
Dazai’s heart feels too big for his chest, suddenly.
“Shh, sweetheart, go back to sleep,” he murmurs quietly, shushing him, “I’ve got you.”
Both of the dogs +
wait at the bottom of the stairs as he makes his way up slowly, careful to keep his steps quiet.
Once,he had a guest bedroom, but it’s been converted into Shuuji’s room, so there’s really only one place to bring him—
With one hand, he unlocks the door to his room and pushes it+
Once,he had a guest bedroom, but it’s been converted into Shuuji’s room, so there’s really only one place to bring him—
With one hand, he unlocks the door to his room and pushes it+
open with his shoulder.
Everything in his office is as he left it, so he moves to the other door in the room, which leads to his /actual/ bedroom.
The red lights under the bed are his only source of light as he brings Chuuya over to the bed.
He sets him down as slowly and +
Everything in his office is as he left it, so he moves to the other door in the room, which leads to his /actual/ bedroom.
The red lights under the bed are his only source of light as he brings Chuuya over to the bed.
He sets him down as slowly and +
gently as he can, on the side Dazai doesn’t sleep on.
He’s not sure why it matters, considering he’s not going to sleep in his bed tonight, if he even sleeps at all, but it just /feels/ right.
Tucking a pillow under his head and pulling the thick comforter over his legs— +
He’s not sure why it matters, considering he’s not going to sleep in his bed tonight, if he even sleeps at all, but it just /feels/ right.
Tucking a pillow under his head and pulling the thick comforter over his legs— +
sleeping in jeans and a sweater probably isn’t comfortable, but Dazai doesn’t know him well enough to strip or change him— he makes him as comfortable as possible.
He goes to pull away, only to find—
A tiny, stubborn hand fisted in his shirt, refusing to let him go.+
He goes to pull away, only to find—
A tiny, stubborn hand fisted in his shirt, refusing to let him go.+
Dazai’s lips twitch, fighting a smile. /Cute/.
It takes gentle uncurling and prying of his fingers to get him to let go.
As soon as he does, Chuuya is shoving his hand under the pillow, dragging it close with a sleepy-grumpy expression.
Dazai steps back quietly, and all that+
It takes gentle uncurling and prying of his fingers to get him to let go.
As soon as he does, Chuuya is shoving his hand under the pillow, dragging it close with a sleepy-grumpy expression.
Dazai steps back quietly, and all that+
anger he was feeling a moment ago? Gone, for the moment.
Chuuya looks so small in his bed though, barely taking up even a sliver of it. Of course, Dazai’s bed is custom made for his height but—
/How/ does he look so tiny? It’s not fair.
Then, because Chuuya has apparently+
Chuuya looks so small in his bed though, barely taking up even a sliver of it. Of course, Dazai’s bed is custom made for his height but—
/How/ does he look so tiny? It’s not fair.
Then, because Chuuya has apparently+
had a bad day, he makes an /exception/.
He calls the dogs, and only has to wait a moment before they’re at his heels, waiting for directions.
Gesturing towards the bed, he says, “Up.”
Yoko hops up immediately, curling up against Chuuya’s torso while resting her head on the+
He calls the dogs, and only has to wait a moment before they’re at his heels, waiting for directions.
Gesturing towards the bed, he says, “Up.”
Yoko hops up immediately, curling up against Chuuya’s torso while resting her head on the+
same pillow as him.
Kozo looks at him like he’s lost his mind, which, to be fair, Dazai feels like he is too. The dogs have /never/ been on his bed before, and Chuuya doesn’t even have to /ask/ for Dazai to break his rule for him.
When he gestures again, Kozo follows the +
Kozo looks at him like he’s lost his mind, which, to be fair, Dazai feels like he is too. The dogs have /never/ been on his bed before, and Chuuya doesn’t even have to /ask/ for Dazai to break his rule for him.
When he gestures again, Kozo follows the +
order and leaps up. He stretches out full length against Chuuya’s back, nearly as tall as he is.
Now he looks even /smaller/ with the dogs pressed up against him, so tiny that Dazai just wants to pick him up again—
Spinning on his heel, he leaves, refusing to follow /that/ +
Now he looks even /smaller/ with the dogs pressed up against him, so tiny that Dazai just wants to pick him up again—
Spinning on his heel, he leaves, refusing to follow /that/ +
line of thought.
Something makes him pause in the doorway, looking back over his shoulder.
His room has always been a source of contention for him. It’s simultaneously his safe place, but also the place that causes him the most irritation and pain when his insomnia kicks in.+
Something makes him pause in the doorway, looking back over his shoulder.
His room has always been a source of contention for him. It’s simultaneously his safe place, but also the place that causes him the most irritation and pain when his insomnia kicks in.+
Sometimes the image of his bed makes him fuzzy and thick with sleep.
Sometimes the image makes him want to break things.
Now though—
It makes something warm glow inside him, settling somewhere deep in his chest.
There’s just /one/ thing missing:
He gives the command for+
Sometimes the image makes him want to break things.
Now though—
It makes something warm glow inside him, settling somewhere deep in his chest.
There’s just /one/ thing missing:
He gives the command for+
‘guard’ and something inside him slots perfectly in place when he sees Kozo lift his head and place it over Chuuya’s back.
He leaves them all to rest, knowing that nothing will happen to Chuuya while he sleeps.
Not when the dogs are here.
Not when he’s here.
—— +
He leaves them all to rest, knowing that nothing will happen to Chuuya while he sleeps.
Not when the dogs are here.
Not when he’s here.
—— +
The first thing Chuuya registers is the feeling of warmth. Heavy, all-encompassing, /drugging/ warmth that leaves all his muscles limp and tempts him back to sleep.
For a long while, he just basks in it, in the feeling of complete relaxation and safety and softness. Moving +
For a long while, he just basks in it, in the feeling of complete relaxation and safety and softness. Moving +
would mean giving up this heavenly warmth so he just /doesn’t/, as his mind slowly rises into wakefulness.
The second thing he notices is that two giant, heavy lumps of warmth are moving rhythmically against him. There’s the sound of rushing air, deep but steady.
Confused, he+
The second thing he notices is that two giant, heavy lumps of warmth are moving rhythmically against him. There’s the sound of rushing air, deep but steady.
Confused, he+
blinks open his eyes—
Only to be met with Yoko’s sleeping face, a few inches of his own.
Oh.
Along his back, now that he’s more awake, is the distinct shape of another dog. Kozo is lying full length against him, with his heavy head resting on Chuuya’s back.
The fact that+
Only to be met with Yoko’s sleeping face, a few inches of his own.
Oh.
Along his back, now that he’s more awake, is the distinct shape of another dog. Kozo is lying full length against him, with his heavy head resting on Chuuya’s back.
The fact that+
the dogs stayed with him through the entire makes him feel giddy and warm inside, smothering his grin into the blanket.
...The blanket. He didn’t fall asleep with a blanket.
It’s only then that he notices that he is /not/ on the couch in the living room anymore. He’s also+
...The blanket. He didn’t fall asleep with a blanket.
It’s only then that he notices that he is /not/ on the couch in the living room anymore. He’s also+
not in Shuuji’s room, because his sheets are a pale blue, and the blanket covering him now is a pure, pitch black.
He shifts more onto his back to look around, reaching behind him to pat Kozo in apology when he gives a sleepy grumble at being disturbed.
The room is completely+
He shifts more onto his back to look around, reaching behind him to pat Kozo in apology when he gives a sleepy grumble at being disturbed.
The room is completely+
unfamiliar. To his left, there are floor-to-ceiling blackout curtains, assumingly covering a large bank of windows.
It /feels/ early, but the only light in the room is a red glow that comes from underneath the bed.
In front of him, there’s a door, just slightly ajar. He can +
It /feels/ early, but the only light in the room is a red glow that comes from underneath the bed.
In front of him, there’s a door, just slightly ajar. He can +
just barely see a sliver of what looks like marble and the glass of what might be a standing shower. The bathroom then, and because this room is /much/ bigger than Shuuji’s and the only room Chuuya hasn’t seen yet—
It must be the master bathroom, in /Dazai’s/ room.
How did he+
It must be the master bathroom, in /Dazai’s/ room.
How did he+
get /here/? He doesn’t remember waking up at all— in fact, he slept so deeply that he doesn’t even remember dreaming, only a thick, heavy wall of blackness dragging him into sleep.
Not to mention that he had to go through Dazai’s office to get into his room, and the office+
Not to mention that he had to go through Dazai’s office to get into his room, and the office+
is usually /locked/.
Shuuji never once came to check on him after their argument, so Chuuya would guess that he /wouldn’t/ bring him to bed, let alone Dazai’s bed, which means—
Dazai picked him up and carried him to /his/ bed, where he slept peacefully all night.
Oh /god/.+
Shuuji never once came to check on him after their argument, so Chuuya would guess that he /wouldn’t/ bring him to bed, let alone Dazai’s bed, which means—
Dazai picked him up and carried him to /his/ bed, where he slept peacefully all night.
Oh /god/.+
There’s no one in the room besides him and the dogs, but he still yanks the comforter over his face to hide the red flush that floods his face.
What Dazai did was sweet but—
He /talks/ in his sleep. What if he said something? What if he said something weird?
Or worse, what+
What Dazai did was sweet but—
He /talks/ in his sleep. What if he said something? What if he said something weird?
Or worse, what+
if Chuuya said his /name/?
(Despite his best efforts, he has /not/ forgotten the wet dream. And even if PG-13 dreams often have Dazai in them /somewhere/. His sleeping brain is /obsessed./)
Lowering the blanket a little, he peeks over to the other side of the bed, allowing+
(Despite his best efforts, he has /not/ forgotten the wet dream. And even if PG-13 dreams often have Dazai in them /somewhere/. His sleeping brain is /obsessed./)
Lowering the blanket a little, he peeks over to the other side of the bed, allowing+
him to imagine, just for a /moment/ what it’d be like to wake up with Dazai next to him.
He’d be warm, and take up most of the bed probably, and he’d have /delicious/ bed head. Chuuya already wants to sink his fingers into the softness of it, pull on it.
It’d be nice, he+
He’d be warm, and take up most of the bed probably, and he’d have /delicious/ bed head. Chuuya already wants to sink his fingers into the softness of it, pull on it.
It’d be nice, he+
thinks, and to be honest, he /wants/ it.
Despite that though, he’s glad it didn’t happen tonight. After the emotional whiplash of last night, the idea of waking up in a strange bed with someone who is still essentially a stranger— a /hot/ stranger, but a stranger nonetheless—+
Despite that though, he’s glad it didn’t happen tonight. After the emotional whiplash of last night, the idea of waking up in a strange bed with someone who is still essentially a stranger— a /hot/ stranger, but a stranger nonetheless—+
would probably have made him nervous.
As it is, the sight of the untouched bed on the other side, comforter neat and ice-cold—
It makes him /soft/ and warm.
By now he’s completely awake, and his jeans are starting to get uncomfortable. They’re one of the tightest pair he+
As it is, the sight of the untouched bed on the other side, comforter neat and ice-cold—
It makes him /soft/ and warm.
By now he’s completely awake, and his jeans are starting to get uncomfortable. They’re one of the tightest pair he+
owns, and they dig painfully into the skin of his hips. He didn’t notice while he was sleeping, of course, but now that he’s awake, it /hurts/.
There’s also crust on his cheeks and eyes from smeared mascara and leftover tears, and he already knows his hair is sticking straight+
There’s also crust on his cheeks and eyes from smeared mascara and leftover tears, and he already knows his hair is sticking straight+
up in wild tangles.
In short, he /feels/ crusty and dirty and probably looks worse.
Wiggling out from between the dogs is harder than it seems, but he manages it, carefully extracting his legs. He has to crawl to the bottom to avoid climbing over Yoko, but she looks dead +
In short, he /feels/ crusty and dirty and probably looks worse.
Wiggling out from between the dogs is harder than it seems, but he manages it, carefully extracting his legs. He has to crawl to the bottom to avoid climbing over Yoko, but she looks dead +
asleep and he doesn’t want to disturb her.
Pushing open the door he’d noticed, he finds that not is it a bathroom, but it is /the/ most luxurious bathroom he’s ever laid eyes on.
The entire thing is lined with black marble with golden streaks through it. The mirror takes up an+
Pushing open the door he’d noticed, he finds that not is it a bathroom, but it is /the/ most luxurious bathroom he’s ever laid eyes on.
The entire thing is lined with black marble with golden streaks through it. The mirror takes up an+
entire wall, and there’s a /full size/ freestanding tub that Chuuya is dying to use.
There’s a shower too, with golden fixtures and a glass door leading inside.
Everytime he forgets for a /second/ that Dazai is apparently rich— he sees something like this and is hit with it+
There’s a shower too, with golden fixtures and a glass door leading inside.
Everytime he forgets for a /second/ that Dazai is apparently rich— he sees something like this and is hit with it+
with it all over again.
He crosses over to the sink to wash his face, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror just yet. He already /feels/ too poor to even be in here, he doesn’t need to remind himself that he looks too bedraggled too.
When he turns on the water, it is +
He crosses over to the sink to wash his face, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror just yet. He already /feels/ too poor to even be in here, he doesn’t need to remind himself that he looks too bedraggled too.
When he turns on the water, it is +
immediately warm, something that Chuuya appreciates greatly. The showers back at the dorm take at least 5 minutes to even be lukewarm, and there’s only about 15 minutes of hot water if he’s /lucky/.
He washes his hands first, then his face, carefully rubbing off the streaks of+
He washes his hands first, then his face, carefully rubbing off the streaks of+
mascara and the crust from his inner eyes.
Then he carefully combs through his hair with wet fingers, patting down the wild curls and fixing his bangs. After a while though, he realizes it’s a lost cause and ties it all up in a bun with the hair tie around his wrist.
Wishing+
Then he carefully combs through his hair with wet fingers, patting down the wild curls and fixing his bangs. After a while though, he realizes it’s a lost cause and ties it all up in a bun with the hair tie around his wrist.
Wishing+
he had a toothbrush, he rinses out his mouth real quick before leaving the bathroom.
The dogs are awake now, heads up and staring at him curiously as he crosses over to the other door. It’s the only one he hasn’t opened yet, so he’s sure it leads to Dazai’s office.
Then he +
The dogs are awake now, heads up and staring at him curiously as he crosses over to the other door. It’s the only one he hasn’t opened yet, so he’s sure it leads to Dazai’s office.
Then he +
notices the chair by the door.
It’s big, thickly cushioned and a dark gray.
It also has some folded clothes on it, placed obviously enough that it would be hard for Chuuya /not/ to notice it.
Curious, he picks them up. Once unfolded, he realizes it’s a pair of grey sweatpants+
It’s big, thickly cushioned and a dark gray.
It also has some folded clothes on it, placed obviously enough that it would be hard for Chuuya /not/ to notice it.
Curious, he picks them up. Once unfolded, he realizes it’s a pair of grey sweatpants+
and a white button down that looks as soft as it feels.
There’s only one problem: when he holds the clothes up to his own body, they’re /massively/ big.The sweatpants alone end 15 centimeters past his ankles, and he could wear the shirt as a dress.
Biting his lip, he considers+
There’s only one problem: when he holds the clothes up to his own body, they’re /massively/ big.The sweatpants alone end 15 centimeters past his ankles, and he could wear the shirt as a dress.
Biting his lip, he considers+
his options.
Either his day old jeans and pullover sweater that are probably soaked with the remnants of emotional distress—
Or these comically oversized clothes that are soft and clean and haven’t been touched by Shuuji.
All things considered, it’s an easy choice.
He has+
Either his day old jeans and pullover sweater that are probably soaked with the remnants of emotional distress—
Or these comically oversized clothes that are soft and clean and haven’t been touched by Shuuji.
All things considered, it’s an easy choice.
He has+
to roll the sweatpants up at the waist /and/ the ankles to keep the fabric from dragging on the ground, and he has to adjust the drawstring on them a /lot/.
The shirt ends up slipping over his shoulders whenever he moves too much, even when he buttons it all the way up. He has+
The shirt ends up slipping over his shoulders whenever he moves too much, even when he buttons it all the way up. He has+
to roll up the sleeves several times just to be able to use his hands again.
All in all,he probably looks ridiculous, like a little kid wearing clothes way too big for him.
But they’re soft and clean and they have this delicious, warm, musky scent to them, and he feels a /lot/+
All in all,he probably looks ridiculous, like a little kid wearing clothes way too big for him.
But they’re soft and clean and they have this delicious, warm, musky scent to them, and he feels a /lot/+
better once he’s out of his clothes.
Then there’s nothing left to do but to go downstairs and face the music. He hasn’t heard any noise from downstairs, and it still feels criminally early, but he doesn’t know what to expect.
Is Shuuji awake yet?
Is Dazai awake? Is he even+
Then there’s nothing left to do but to go downstairs and face the music. He hasn’t heard any noise from downstairs, and it still feels criminally early, but he doesn’t know what to expect.
Is Shuuji awake yet?
Is Dazai awake? Is he even+
still in the house? Did he leave again?
The dogs jump off the bed when he opens the door, making him wince with the extra noise. He was /hoping/ to creep out of here silently until he figured out what kind of situation he was walking into.
Guess that’s not happening.
Dazai’s+
The dogs jump off the bed when he opens the door, making him wince with the extra noise. He was /hoping/ to creep out of here silently until he figured out what kind of situation he was walking into.
Guess that’s not happening.
Dazai’s+
office is empty and silent, the laptop on his desk open but the screen off.
Chuuya is /tempted/ to look around, because he still doesn’t know anything about Dazai’s ‘company’ and he hasn’t seen anything that would give him clues elsewhere around the house.
That doesn’t seem+
Chuuya is /tempted/ to look around, because he still doesn’t know anything about Dazai’s ‘company’ and he hasn’t seen anything that would give him clues elsewhere around the house.
That doesn’t seem+
right though, considering how /kind/—and teasing, but hey, Chuuya kinda likes that too—Dazai has been to him. Invading his privacy would be wrong.
Besides,he’s never /asked/ the man. Maybe he’ll tell him.
So instead of rifling through the drawers, he moves to the door. Pausing+
Besides,he’s never /asked/ the man. Maybe he’ll tell him.
So instead of rifling through the drawers, he moves to the door. Pausing+
just inside, he presses his ear to the door and listens for movement, like some old-timey spy.
Silence.
When he hears nothing for a long while, he cracks open the door, peering out into the hallway stealthily.
(He doesn’t know why he’s being so sneaky. It’s not like Shuuji+
Silence.
When he hears nothing for a long while, he cracks open the door, peering out into the hallway stealthily.
(He doesn’t know why he’s being so sneaky. It’s not like Shuuji+
Is waiting in the hallway to jump out at him, slinging accusations on why Chuuya was sleeping in his fathers bed.
And it’s not like Dazai is /waiting/ for him to wake up, right?)
Either way, the hallway is empty and silent. He creeps out on his tiptoes, shutting the door +
And it’s not like Dazai is /waiting/ for him to wake up, right?)
Either way, the hallway is empty and silent. He creeps out on his tiptoes, shutting the door +
quietly behind the dogs.
He makes it to the stairs without incident, taking each step slowly and quietly.
He’s doing /so/ well, until he gets to the bottom stair and—
The dogs come thundering down after him, nearly pushing each other down the stairs in their efforts to be +
He makes it to the stairs without incident, taking each step slowly and quietly.
He’s doing /so/ well, until he gets to the bottom stair and—
The dogs come thundering down after him, nearly pushing each other down the stairs in their efforts to be +
the /first/ one down the stairs.
Whirling around, he hisses, “you two are /actually/ killing me.”
Koop ignores him, brushing past him on his way to the kitchen. Yoko sits at his feet, tail wagging and giving him her best doggy smile.
Oh, fuck it then. It’s too late to do+
Whirling around, he hisses, “you two are /actually/ killing me.”
Koop ignores him, brushing past him on his way to the kitchen. Yoko sits at his feet, tail wagging and giving him her best doggy smile.
Oh, fuck it then. It’s too late to do+
his walk of shame—without the shame part— in silence.
The living room seems exactly as it was last night, TV off and couch empty.
He turns the corner into the kitchen, Yoko on his heels—
And is greeted with the most /heavenly/ sight he’s ever seen.
/Oh my god./+
The living room seems exactly as it was last night, TV off and couch empty.
He turns the corner into the kitchen, Yoko on his heels—
And is greeted with the most /heavenly/ sight he’s ever seen.
/Oh my god./+
It’s Dazai, leaning with his back against the counters, slumped over lazily. He’s got a cup of what Chuuya thinks is coffee in his hands, holding it near his face as he breathes in the aroma. He seems lost in thought, staring sightlessly in the direction of the living room.
His+
His+
hair is messy, sticking up in random directions and exposing the fresh undercut underneath.
It looks like bedhead, but Chuuya’s brain is silently screaming about /sex/ hair.
That’s not even the worst part.
No, the worst part (the /best/ part) is what he’s wearing—
Grey+
It looks like bedhead, but Chuuya’s brain is silently screaming about /sex/ hair.
That’s not even the worst part.
No, the worst part (the /best/ part) is what he’s wearing—
Grey+
sweatpants that look /coincidentally/ very similar to the ones Chuuya is wearing— and not for the first time, Chuuya is cursing his height, because the counter is high enough and he’s short enough that his vision cuts off at waist level— and...
A button down shirt that is +
A button down shirt that is +
/completely/ unbuttoned, revealing a wide stripe of Dazai’s chest and torso.
Chuuya swears he just died and is now staring at the pearly gates of heaven, and it has /abs/.And perfectly sculpted pecs.
And a deeply etched V-line, naturally leading his eyes down, down, /further/—+
Chuuya swears he just died and is now staring at the pearly gates of heaven, and it has /abs/.And perfectly sculpted pecs.
And a deeply etched V-line, naturally leading his eyes down, down, /further/—+
Chuuya finally understands why it’s called a happy trail, because that dusting of hair leading downwards makes Chuuya /very/ happy indeed. Also makes him want to /taste/ it, and all those other muscles, /feel/ the strength and effort Dazai has obviously put into his body— +
He’s so fixated on staring at his abs, face slowly turning a bright, burning red, that he barely registers the bandages covering his right shoulder and chest, and both of his forearms from wrist to elbow.
Really, Shuuji could come pounding down the stairs right now and Chuuya+
Really, Shuuji could come pounding down the stairs right now and Chuuya+
would not even notice, so busy is he /drinking/ in the sight of Dazai warm, relaxed, and unaware.
(It’s a good thing that Dazai is /very/ deep in thought, otherwise he would’ve noticed Chuuya a long time ago.)
Eventually, his lungs begin to burn and Chuuya realizes he’s been+
(It’s a good thing that Dazai is /very/ deep in thought, otherwise he would’ve noticed Chuuya a long time ago.)
Eventually, his lungs begin to burn and Chuuya realizes he’s been+
holding his breath. His quiet gasp breaks the silence, and the moment shatters.
Dazai blinks himself back into awareness and Chuuya is stuttering out a “good morning” before he can realize that he’s just been standing here, staring at him.
Caramel eyes turn to him, a little +
Dazai blinks himself back into awareness and Chuuya is stuttering out a “good morning” before he can realize that he’s just been standing here, staring at him.
Caramel eyes turn to him, a little +
hazy and unfocused. “Good morning.”
God, if the /body/ is good, the /voice/ is even better, rough with sleep, low and rumbly. It curls around Chuuya’s spine, strokes over his nerve endings, as intoxicating as any whiskey.
Luckily, Dazai takes that moment to tip his cup up and+
God, if the /body/ is good, the /voice/ is even better, rough with sleep, low and rumbly. It curls around Chuuya’s spine, strokes over his nerve endings, as intoxicating as any whiskey.
Luckily, Dazai takes that moment to tip his cup up and+
swallow the rest of his drink, sharp Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat.
Chuuya makes a strangled noise, fighting to keep his composure. /How/ does he look so effortlessly good, while Chuuya is standing here, swimming in—
In /Dazai’s/ clothes, oh my /god/.
He blames how +
Chuuya makes a strangled noise, fighting to keep his composure. /How/ does he look so effortlessly good, while Chuuya is standing here, swimming in—
In /Dazai’s/ clothes, oh my /god/.
He blames how +
tired he was on why it took him so long to put that together.
He’s wearing Dazai’s clothes. /That’s/ why they’re so big, and why they smell so good.
Dazai pushes off the counter, muscles rippling and moving under his skin.
Chuuya swears he’s going to pass out. He can’t take+
He’s wearing Dazai’s clothes. /That’s/ why they’re so big, and why they smell so good.
Dazai pushes off the counter, muscles rippling and moving under his skin.
Chuuya swears he’s going to pass out. He can’t take+
much more of this.
“Coffee?”
“God, yes,” Chuuya blurts out, barely aware of what Dazai asked him, only that there /was/ a question and there’s only /one/ answer he can come up with right now.
Dazai doesn’t seem to notice any weirdness, reaching up to take another mug out+
“Coffee?”
“God, yes,” Chuuya blurts out, barely aware of what Dazai asked him, only that there /was/ a question and there’s only /one/ answer he can come up with right now.
Dazai doesn’t seem to notice any weirdness, reaching up to take another mug out+
of the cupboard.
Chuuya takes this moment to mourn the fact that he’s not /completely/ shirtless, because he would /kill/ to see his back muscles right now. He knows they’re sexy. He knows it.
After pouring coffee into each cop, Dazai replaces the pot. Turning around, he +
Chuuya takes this moment to mourn the fact that he’s not /completely/ shirtless, because he would /kill/ to see his back muscles right now. He knows they’re sexy. He knows it.
After pouring coffee into each cop, Dazai replaces the pot. Turning around, he +
offers him the cup. “There’s cream in the fridge and sugar in there—“ he gestures to a small container near the coffee pot, “— if you want it.”
However, Dazai starts drinking his right away, which is simultaneously hot and makes Chuuya grimace. He doesn’t like black coffee +
However, Dazai starts drinking his right away, which is simultaneously hot and makes Chuuya grimace. He doesn’t like black coffee +
himself, but anyone who can drink the bitter stuff and actually /enjoys/ it?
Hot. A little crazy, but hot.
Shaking himself to get himself back under control, Chuuya heads for the fridge. The cream is in the door, and he takes it to pour a splash of it into his own cup before+
Hot. A little crazy, but hot.
Shaking himself to get himself back under control, Chuuya heads for the fridge. The cream is in the door, and he takes it to pour a splash of it into his own cup before+
putting it back.
When he brings the mug to his mouth, the aroma hits him. It smells /good/, expensive, rich with caffeine. Chuuya isn’t a /huge/ coffee drinker, so he’s not an expert—
But this is probably the most expensive coffee he’s ever smelled and now— he raises the cup+
When he brings the mug to his mouth, the aroma hits him. It smells /good/, expensive, rich with caffeine. Chuuya isn’t a /huge/ coffee drinker, so he’s not an expert—
But this is probably the most expensive coffee he’s ever smelled and now— he raises the cup+
to his lips— tasted.
Notes of hazelnut and mocha burst over his tongue, sweetly hot. He sighs unwittingly, welcoming the awareness that the coffee starts to bring him as he takes another long sip.
They enjoy their cups in silence for a moment, both of them invested in their+
Notes of hazelnut and mocha burst over his tongue, sweetly hot. He sighs unwittingly, welcoming the awareness that the coffee starts to bring him as he takes another long sip.
They enjoy their cups in silence for a moment, both of them invested in their+
coffee.
Then Dazai sighs, looking over at him with a small, crooked smile. He seems so much more /approachable/ now, without that layer of teasing brought on by his silver tongue— and somehow even hotter for it, because on /top/ of being hot, he also seems like a normal person.+
Then Dazai sighs, looking over at him with a small, crooked smile. He seems so much more /approachable/ now, without that layer of teasing brought on by his silver tongue— and somehow even hotter for it, because on /top/ of being hot, he also seems like a normal person.+
“Are you hungry?”
Now that he mentions it, Chuuya /is/ hungry. Starving, actually.
He hasn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. He assumed he was going to have dinner with the movie date, so he didn’t eat and then—
Well, then everything /happened/ and he forgot he was hungry+
Now that he mentions it, Chuuya /is/ hungry. Starving, actually.
He hasn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. He assumed he was going to have dinner with the movie date, so he didn’t eat and then—
Well, then everything /happened/ and he forgot he was hungry+
entirely. It’s probably been almost 18 hours since he last ate.
He bobs his head. “Yeah.”
“What do you want? I’ll make you something.”
No he will /not/ because if Dazai starts cooking right now, Chuuya will not be responsible for what he does. A man who knows his way around+
He bobs his head. “Yeah.”
“What do you want? I’ll make you something.”
No he will /not/ because if Dazai starts cooking right now, Chuuya will not be responsible for what he does. A man who knows his way around+
the kitchen is outrageously attractive.
“That’s okay, I’ll just have cereal or whatever you have—“
Dazai stares him down. He does not offer him cereal, or let him off the cook. Apparently he’s /insistent/ on making Chuuya breakfast and won’t take no for an answer.
Naturally,+
“That’s okay, I’ll just have cereal or whatever you have—“
Dazai stares him down. He does not offer him cereal, or let him off the cook. Apparently he’s /insistent/ on making Chuuya breakfast and won’t take no for an answer.
Naturally,+
Chuuyas loses the stare down. Mostly because he can’t actually make eye contact or even look at him without his eyes sliding down to take in his /still open/ shirt.
Dazai, he is learning, does not play fair.
“Fine,” he grumbles to himself, then louder, “I like pancakes? If you+
Dazai, he is learning, does not play fair.
“Fine,” he grumbles to himself, then louder, “I like pancakes? If you+
can make those? If not, eggs are fine—“
“Pancakes it is,” Dazai interrupts him, spinning around to pull out pancake mix from the pantry.
Noticing that Dazai’s mug, sitting on the counter, is already mostly empty, Chuuya takes this moment to refill both of their cups.
That+
“Pancakes it is,” Dazai interrupts him, spinning around to pull out pancake mix from the pantry.
Noticing that Dazai’s mug, sitting on the counter, is already mostly empty, Chuuya takes this moment to refill both of their cups.
That+
earns him a blinding, grateful smile, one that makes Chuuya’s knees weak and his chest clench.
He staggers off to sit at the dining room table before he does something stupid like swoon.
“By the way,” Dazai says, gesturing with his chin at the counter, “I found your phone in+
He staggers off to sit at the dining room table before he does something stupid like swoon.
“By the way,” Dazai says, gesturing with his chin at the counter, “I found your phone in+
the couch.”
Oh. He hadn’t realized he was missing it.
He slinks over to grab it, retreating back to the table to check his messages from last night.
When he turns the screen on, he blinks in surprise. It’s barely 5am.
Personally, he’s a morning person, and he fell asleep+
Oh. He hadn’t realized he was missing it.
He slinks over to grab it, retreating back to the table to check his messages from last night.
When he turns the screen on, he blinks in surprise. It’s barely 5am.
Personally, he’s a morning person, and he fell asleep+
earlier, so it's no surprise that he woke up so early.
Dazai though? He doesn't look like he slept at /all/, with dark circles under his eyes, and a pale expression.
Guilt trickles down his spine. Did he not sleep because Chuuya was in his bed? Or is it because of something +
Dazai though? He doesn't look like he slept at /all/, with dark circles under his eyes, and a pale expression.
Guilt trickles down his spine. Did he not sleep because Chuuya was in his bed? Or is it because of something +
else?
Either way, he doesn't feel like he has the right to ask, so he just opens his phone silently, checking his messages. He has a few twitter notifications, an unopened Snapchat, and a message in the sibling chat he has.
Nothing important, and nothing he particularly wants+
Either way, he doesn't feel like he has the right to ask, so he just opens his phone silently, checking his messages. He has a few twitter notifications, an unopened Snapchat, and a message in the sibling chat he has.
Nothing important, and nothing he particularly wants+
to deal with this early.
Besides, he has a perfectly scrumptious view right /now/, of Dazai mixing a bowl of pancake batter, corded forearms casually flexing with every rotation. He's got a pan already heating on the stove, ready for the mix.
Yoko comes up to him, sniffing at+
Besides, he has a perfectly scrumptious view right /now/, of Dazai mixing a bowl of pancake batter, corded forearms casually flexing with every rotation. He's got a pan already heating on the stove, ready for the mix.
Yoko comes up to him, sniffing at+
his hands and whining softly. Confused, he pets her, unsure of what she wants.Then he notices Kozo sitting at the back door, looking between him and Dazai and the door.
Ah. They've been sleeping all night,they probably need to go outside.
He gets up to open the door for them,+
Ah. They've been sleeping all night,they probably need to go outside.
He gets up to open the door for them,+
realizing too late that he forgot to ask if that was okay--
Dazai doesn't seem to notice or care, finally pouring the batter into the pan with a concentrated look on his face. If he's bothered that Chuuya took initiative with the dogs, it doesn't show.
Well, he's always been +
Dazai doesn't seem to notice or care, finally pouring the batter into the pan with a concentrated look on his face. If he's bothered that Chuuya took initiative with the dogs, it doesn't show.
Well, he's always been +
more understanding with the dogs than Shuuji ever was, so maybe he shouldn't be surprised.
Using his spatula, Dazai flips the pancake easily and perfectly, not a smear of batter out of place. He speaks over his shoulder at Chuuya, "Do you want syrup?"
Technically, Chuuya is+
Using his spatula, Dazai flips the pancake easily and perfectly, not a smear of batter out of place. He speaks over his shoulder at Chuuya, "Do you want syrup?"
Technically, Chuuya is+
supposed to be on a diet that restricts his sugar intact but--
He had a shitty day yesterday, and Dazai is turning to look at him with soft, syrup-colored eyes, and /yeah/, he does want syrup. A lot of it.
A plate stacked high with pancakes--much more than he can eat himself+
He had a shitty day yesterday, and Dazai is turning to look at him with soft, syrup-colored eyes, and /yeah/, he does want syrup. A lot of it.
A plate stacked high with pancakes--much more than he can eat himself+
and Chuuya is torn between being offended that Dazai thinks he can eat so /much/ and being grateful that he didn't hand him a single pancake and expected him to be happy with it-- is placed in front of him, followed by an unopened bottle of syrup and a stick of butter.
He looks+
He looks+
up, opening his mouth to thank Dazai when he realizes that he doesn't have a plate in front of him, only his cup of coffee. "Are you going to eat?" he asks, gesturing to the food, "I can't eat all of these."
Dazai smiles at him indulgently. Sometime when he was cooking, he'd +
Dazai smiles at him indulgently. Sometime when he was cooking, he'd +
run his hand through his hair, so while it's still wild and curly, it's mostly swept back away from his face. "I don't like western breakfasts."
Chuuya lowers his fork, frowning. "We could've had something else then--."
Dazai leans back in his chair, setting his mug down. "I +
Chuuya lowers his fork, frowning. "We could've had something else then--."
Dazai leans back in his chair, setting his mug down. "I +
told you earlier, sweetheart," he says slowly, his fingers finding the buttons of his shirt and slowly, oh so slowly, beginning to button them up, "If you want it, it's yours."
Oh, there is certainly /something/ Chuuya wants, mouth dry as he watches Dazai slip the buttons +
Oh, there is certainly /something/ Chuuya wants, mouth dry as he watches Dazai slip the buttons +
in their holes, long fingers sure and confident. It's a shame that his abs are being covered again, but something about watching him button up his shirt again is so /erotic/ that Chuuya can feel heat pooling in his stomach and thighs.
He can't look away, eyes fixed on the sure+
He can't look away, eyes fixed on the sure+
movements of his fingers,and god, is he /imagining/ it that his fingers brush his chest more than strictly necessary, drawing attention to every muscle as it's slowly, torturously, covered up?
Worse than that, Dazai is staring /straight/ at him, while Chuuya figuratively drools+
Worse than that, Dazai is staring /straight/ at him, while Chuuya figuratively drools+
over him, face on fire.
Dazai has a knowing smile, a sharp glint in his eyes, and he /has/ to know. There's no way he doesn't. The tension is so thick in the air that Chuuya feels like he's choking on it, and he's hyponotized, drawn in, always desperate for more--
"I want to +
Dazai has a knowing smile, a sharp glint in his eyes, and he /has/ to know. There's no way he doesn't. The tension is so thick in the air that Chuuya feels like he's choking on it, and he's hyponotized, drawn in, always desperate for more--
"I want to +
ask you something," Dazai says suddenly, jolting Chuuya in his seat.
Embarrassed, he looks down at his pancakes and painstakingly cuts himself a piece. It's not like he can play it cool when he was just staring at Dazai like he was more appetizing than the pancakes on his plate+
Embarrassed, he looks down at his pancakes and painstakingly cuts himself a piece. It's not like he can play it cool when he was just staring at Dazai like he was more appetizing than the pancakes on his plate+
but he tries anyways. "What?"
Dazai stares at him for a while, quietly evaluating, like he's searching for something to confirm thoughts he already has. Then he asks, carefully, like he's not sure of the response, "Did something happen last night?"
Chuuya doesn't freeze, but +
Dazai stares at him for a while, quietly evaluating, like he's searching for something to confirm thoughts he already has. Then he asks, carefully, like he's not sure of the response, "Did something happen last night?"
Chuuya doesn't freeze, but +
it's a close thing, fork noticeably slowing on it's way to his mouth. Before he takes the bite, he asks cautiously, "What makes you ask?"
He can't think of any reason that Dazai would be suspicious. It wasn't a big deal, and it's not like there was a /crime scene/ or something.+
He can't think of any reason that Dazai would be suspicious. It wasn't a big deal, and it's not like there was a /crime scene/ or something.+
Truthfully, he's not even sure why Dazai cares. Sure, he seems like a nice, caring guy, but he doesn't /owe/ Chuuya anything.
(Meanwhile, Dazai is struggling to find the exact words to use. He's well aware that he doesn't know Chuuya as well as he might need to for this +
(Meanwhile, Dazai is struggling to find the exact words to use. He's well aware that he doesn't know Chuuya as well as he might need to for this +
conversation.
He knows he's not exactly a trustworthy figure to him yet, so if something /did/ happen, he might not want to talk about it. And pushing him into a corner by saying that he /knows/ something happened because he was crying--
It might make him feel /attacked/ +
He knows he's not exactly a trustworthy figure to him yet, so if something /did/ happen, he might not want to talk about it. And pushing him into a corner by saying that he /knows/ something happened because he was crying--
It might make him feel /attacked/ +
more than reassured.)
He decides to go with something in a little different direction. "When I got home, the dogs were...antsy. More than they should be or usually would be."
Chuuya chews slowly, contemplating. He's gotten along better with Dazai than with Shuuji but--
Shuuji+
He decides to go with something in a little different direction. "When I got home, the dogs were...antsy. More than they should be or usually would be."
Chuuya chews slowly, contemplating. He's gotten along better with Dazai than with Shuuji but--
Shuuji+
learned that behavior from /somewhere/, right? No one is just born like that.
While Chuuya certainly could have--and should have-- communicated better, at the end of the day, right now--
He's scared that 'like father, like son' thing might be a little more literal than usual.+
While Chuuya certainly could have--and should have-- communicated better, at the end of the day, right now--
He's scared that 'like father, like son' thing might be a little more literal than usual.+
And the idea that that perfect, charming face might twist with anger, that Dazai might raise his voice and /yell/ at him--
It makes him want to /cry/. He wants Dazai to be nice to him. He doesn't want him to be angry, or upset.
Also, he just doesn't want to talk about it, +
It makes him want to /cry/. He wants Dazai to be nice to him. He doesn't want him to be angry, or upset.
Also, he just doesn't want to talk about it, +
mostly because he doesn't know how to /explain/.
'Shuuji did something I've been allowing him to do this whole time but this time I /really/ didn't like it so I freaked out'? 'I couldn't talk about my own feelings so it got me into a situation I didn't like'?
It just seems so+
'Shuuji did something I've been allowing him to do this whole time but this time I /really/ didn't like it so I freaked out'? 'I couldn't talk about my own feelings so it got me into a situation I didn't like'?
It just seems so+
stupid. So avoidable.
Swallowing, he avoids Dazai's eyes as he says, "oh, it's nothing. We just watched a movie, and it was scarier than I thought, so I just freaked out a little. That's all."
He hurriedly takes another bite to give himself time to avoid any follow up +
Swallowing, he avoids Dazai's eyes as he says, "oh, it's nothing. We just watched a movie, and it was scarier than I thought, so I just freaked out a little. That's all."
He hurriedly takes another bite to give himself time to avoid any follow up +
questions, if Dazai has any.
Dazai stares at him for a long while, mulling over his answer. It doesn't /feel/ like the whole truth, and it doesn't explain the dogs behavior. A scary movie with a few jumpscares wouldn't set them off like that.
Part of him wants to push harder, +
Dazai stares at him for a long while, mulling over his answer. It doesn't /feel/ like the whole truth, and it doesn't explain the dogs behavior. A scary movie with a few jumpscares wouldn't set them off like that.
Part of him wants to push harder, +
to ask more questions, to get to the heart of it.
But he also realizes the importance of respecting Chuuya's boundaries, and not forcing him to speak when he doesn't want to.
Besides, he has a /better/ idea than questions.
He rises with his coffee, finishing the last swallow +
But he also realizes the importance of respecting Chuuya's boundaries, and not forcing him to speak when he doesn't want to.
Besides, he has a /better/ idea than questions.
He rises with his coffee, finishing the last swallow +
of his coffee in one gulp before setting the cup in his sink.
Chuuya is sitting in his chair,tension vibrating through him, watching Dazai with a slightly wary expression, which just makes Dazai sad.
He touches the table as he passes by, somewhat close to Chuuya's elbow. "Come+
Chuuya is sitting in his chair,tension vibrating through him, watching Dazai with a slightly wary expression, which just makes Dazai sad.
He touches the table as he passes by, somewhat close to Chuuya's elbow. "Come+
here when you're done, please. I want to show you something."
Then he's gone, disappearing out the back door and leaving Chuuya speechless after him.
Show him /what/, exactly?
It wasn't said with heavy demand or anything that implied a lot of expectation--so, assumingly, he's+
Then he's gone, disappearing out the back door and leaving Chuuya speechless after him.
Show him /what/, exactly?
It wasn't said with heavy demand or anything that implied a lot of expectation--so, assumingly, he's+
free to go back upstairs or in the living room.
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious, though.
His coffee is finished up with a few quick swallows, and he takes two more bites of his pancakes to sate most of his hunger. He can eat again later-- he wants to see what Dazai+
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious, though.
His coffee is finished up with a few quick swallows, and he takes two more bites of his pancakes to sate most of his hunger. He can eat again later-- he wants to see what Dazai+
wants.
Cleaning up quickly, he follows him outside.
Dazai is in the middle of the yard, bending over and cleaning up all the dog toys within a space. The dogs are play wrestling with each other on the far side of the yard, chasing eachother for short distances.
A little +
Cleaning up quickly, he follows him outside.
Dazai is in the middle of the yard, bending over and cleaning up all the dog toys within a space. The dogs are play wrestling with each other on the far side of the yard, chasing eachother for short distances.
A little +
hesitant, Chuuya makes his way down to him. The grass is cold but not wet under his socks.
"What did you want to show me?"He asks.
Dazai turns to him, and Chuuya is reminded all over again how /tall/ he is, towering over him. Somehow, it's easy to forget, because Dazai doesn't+
"What did you want to show me?"He asks.
Dazai turns to him, and Chuuya is reminded all over again how /tall/ he is, towering over him. Somehow, it's easy to forget, because Dazai doesn't+
enforce his height, he just simply /is/.
His shoulders are broad enough to block out the entire world, narrowing down Chuuya's awareness to just the space between them. He's big enough to hide behind, to curl into, to be pressed up against and have nothing else bother him. +
His shoulders are broad enough to block out the entire world, narrowing down Chuuya's awareness to just the space between them. He's big enough to hide behind, to curl into, to be pressed up against and have nothing else bother him. +
Dazai tilts his head in the direction of the dogs. "I'm going to teach you how to command them."
His eyebrows shoot up, baffled. "That doesn't seem smart? Why would you tell a stranger how to command your guard dogs?"
Dazai huffs out a breath, looking amused. "You're not a +
His eyebrows shoot up, baffled. "That doesn't seem smart? Why would you tell a stranger how to command your guard dogs?"
Dazai huffs out a breath, looking amused. "You're not a +
stranger to them, not anymore. If they're going to protect you, then it's dangerous for you and them if you don't know how to handle them and the situation."
What is he talking about? Why would they be protecting him? Sure, they /like/ him, but he's probably not going to be +
What is he talking about? Why would they be protecting him? Sure, they /like/ him, but he's probably not going to be +
around long enough or /often/ enough for him to make use of training. “I...don’t think they’d do that?”
“Trust me,” Dazai says, his smile strained, “they will protect you.”
Well—
Is Chuuya really going to say no to learning how to control highly-trained guard dogs?
No, he’s+
“Trust me,” Dazai says, his smile strained, “they will protect you.”
Well—
Is Chuuya really going to say no to learning how to control highly-trained guard dogs?
No, he’s+
not. It’d be fun to know, and maybe Yoko has some cool tricks to show on his Snapchat story later.
“Okay,” he says, nodding his head determinedly, “teach me.”
Dazai’s smile grows, turning into something happy and a little bit proud. “Good,” he murmurs, taking a step so he’s +
“Okay,” he says, nodding his head determinedly, “teach me.”
Dazai’s smile grows, turning into something happy and a little bit proud. “Good,” he murmurs, taking a step so he’s +
standing just behind and to the right of Chuuya. “I want you to repeat after me.”
He bends down lower, probably so Chuuya can hear him better, but all he can think about is the sudden rush of Dazai’s hot breath over his ear, his voice so close his soul seems to vibrate along+
He bends down lower, probably so Chuuya can hear him better, but all he can think about is the sudden rush of Dazai’s hot breath over his ear, his voice so close his soul seems to vibrate along+
with every word he says.
Then there’s silence, and Chuuya keeps waiting for the next word to come, eyes half-lidded with the desire for more of that deep rumble—
Wait, that was it, wasn’t it? He wasn’t listening.
“Uh,” he hedges, glad he doesn’t have to look at Dazai directly+
Then there’s silence, and Chuuya keeps waiting for the next word to come, eyes half-lidded with the desire for more of that deep rumble—
Wait, that was it, wasn’t it? He wasn’t listening.
“Uh,” he hedges, glad he doesn’t have to look at Dazai directly+
as he says, “can you say it again?”
There’s a second of pause—
Then another breath, this one cold on his ear, and harder than the rest. A quiet reprimand, like blowing on a cat when it’s being naughty.
“Pay attention, brat.”
/Brat/.
He instinctively scowls, because +
There’s a second of pause—
Then another breath, this one cold on his ear, and harder than the rest. A quiet reprimand, like blowing on a cat when it’s being naughty.
“Pay attention, brat.”
/Brat/.
He instinctively scowls, because +
he’s only been called a brat when he was acting up as a /kid/. He might be young compared to Dazai, but he’s /not/ a kid anymore.
Then Dazai is speaking again, slowly, carefully enunciating every syllable of the command.
It sounds like it’s in a different language, harsh and+
Then Dazai is speaking again, slowly, carefully enunciating every syllable of the command.
It sounds like it’s in a different language, harsh and+
guttural, the syllables strange on his tongue.
German, maybe?
Chuuya tries it himself, a little stumbling, but he’s always been good with languages so he picks it up rather quickly.
The first time he says it right, he turns to Dazai with a proud grin, giddy at his success.+
German, maybe?
Chuuya tries it himself, a little stumbling, but he’s always been good with languages so he picks it up rather quickly.
The first time he says it right, he turns to Dazai with a proud grin, giddy at his success.+
Dazai is already smiling back at him, charmingly perfect. “Good. Now say it like you /mean/ it.”
He straightens his shoulders, taking a deep breath. The command is said from his chest this time, sharp and harsh.
The results are instant, the dogs immediately pausing in their +
He straightens his shoulders, taking a deep breath. The command is said from his chest this time, sharp and harsh.
The results are instant, the dogs immediately pausing in their +
play and rushing over.
They stop at his feet, sitting down with their ears alert and their eyes fixed in him.
He has to admit, that /does/ make him feel powerful, dangerous. In control. Almost like carrying a gun in his hand, except /this/ weapon is 50kgs and has /fangs/. +
They stop at his feet, sitting down with their ears alert and their eyes fixed in him.
He has to admit, that /does/ make him feel powerful, dangerous. In control. Almost like carrying a gun in his hand, except /this/ weapon is 50kgs and has /fangs/. +
Dazai teaches him a few more commands and hand gestures, guiding him through making the dogs sit, lay down, stay, guard.
Basic commands, ones that Chuuya would expect from any decently trained dog. To be honest, while if /does/ feel good, it’s not very /exciting/.
When you +
Basic commands, ones that Chuuya would expect from any decently trained dog. To be honest, while if /does/ feel good, it’s not very /exciting/.
When you +
think of guard dogs, you think of giving them a command to attack and watching someone get tackled. You don’t really think of ‘sit, stay, release’.
But then—
Dazai teaches him something /cool/.
He’s taken Kozo away for this, leashing him to a post on the other side of the+
But then—
Dazai teaches him something /cool/.
He’s taken Kozo away for this, leashing him to a post on the other side of the+
yard. That leaves Yoko at his feet, alert and ready.
“I want you to remember that these dogs are /dangerous/. Kozo alone will take down someone my size. And Yoko—,” he pauses there, a smile growing sharp and fierce in his face, “I have her to find anything she can’t defeat, +
“I want you to remember that these dogs are /dangerous/. Kozo alone will take down someone my size. And Yoko—,” he pauses there, a smile growing sharp and fierce in his face, “I have her to find anything she can’t defeat, +
given the right motivation.”
Chuuya shifts on his feet, a little confused. He would’ve assumed that, because Kozo is bigger, he’d be the more dangerous one. “Kozo is bigger though? Shouldn’t he be scarier?”
“In terms of size, yes. But in motivation? Yoko’s your girl.”
The+
Chuuya shifts on his feet, a little confused. He would’ve assumed that, because Kozo is bigger, he’d be the more dangerous one. “Kozo is bigger though? Shouldn’t he be scarier?”
“In terms of size, yes. But in motivation? Yoko’s your girl.”
The+
next command is longer, a little more complicated, but once he gets it right—
Yoko hugs his feet, her head lowered with intent and the hair along her spine rising up. She’s always been intimidating but now she looks /frightening/.
Dazai starts to circle him, keeping a careful+
Yoko hugs his feet, her head lowered with intent and the hair along her spine rising up. She’s always been intimidating but now she looks /frightening/.
Dazai starts to circle him, keeping a careful+
distance between them. His walk shifts into something more of a /prowl/, hips swaying to keep his weight evenly centered over his feet, his footsteps utterly silent. His eyes, burnt sugar and whiskey, never leave him, unwavering.
He looks dangerous, a stalking predator, with +
He looks dangerous, a stalking predator, with +
his prey run down, vulnerable, exactly where Dazai wants him.
Yoko follows his progress, circling tightly around Chuuya’s feet.
Dazai is at his back now,his presence like a crackling thunderstorm, rolling over Chuuya’s nerves with electricity and the smell of something /wild/.+
Yoko follows his progress, circling tightly around Chuuya’s feet.
Dazai is at his back now,his presence like a crackling thunderstorm, rolling over Chuuya’s nerves with electricity and the smell of something /wild/.+
Nornally, Chuuya would be turning with him. His martial arts masters would be rolling in their graves if they saw that he had let someone go behind him—
But he’s frozen now, a mouse underneath the cat’s paw, with nothing else to do but tremble in place and /hope/.
“This is +
But he’s frozen now, a mouse underneath the cat’s paw, with nothing else to do but tremble in place and /hope/.
“This is +
called a secure. Her job is to ensure that /no one/ enters your space.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Dazai /lunge/, and Chuuya is immediately sinking into a defensive position, knees bent and braced for impact—
But Yoko is already there, rearing up on her hind legs+
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Dazai /lunge/, and Chuuya is immediately sinking into a defensive position, knees bent and braced for impact—
But Yoko is already there, rearing up on her hind legs+
and letting out the loudest and most /vicious/ snarl Chuuya has ever heard, teeth snapping shut inches away from Dazai’s outstretched fingers.
Dazai backs off nimbly, and now it feels like a /game/, with his eyes lit up with energy, feet light.
“Not me.”
Again, he lunges,+
Dazai backs off nimbly, and now it feels like a /game/, with his eyes lit up with energy, feet light.
“Not me.”
Again, he lunges,+
his hand reaching for Chuuya’s face—
The snarl Yoko lets out sounds like she would tear a man in two, all of her teeth ready to sink into Dazai’s arm.
He jumps backward, a wild grin on his face. He doesn’t even look part of this /world/ anymore, like he’s some fierce, untamed+
The snarl Yoko lets out sounds like she would tear a man in two, all of her teeth ready to sink into Dazai’s arm.
He jumps backward, a wild grin on his face. He doesn’t even look part of this /world/ anymore, like he’s some fierce, untamed+
creature, come to play and tease and taunt.
“Not Shuuji.”
/That/ makes Chuuya’s eyes narrow, wondering if he knows more than he lets on.
Dazai goes for the back of the knees this time, like he’s going to topple him over and get him on his back.
Just as quickly, he has to +
“Not Shuuji.”
/That/ makes Chuuya’s eyes narrow, wondering if he knows more than he lets on.
Dazai goes for the back of the knees this time, like he’s going to topple him over and get him on his back.
Just as quickly, he has to +
snatch his arm back when Yoko greets him with fangs and claws and a vicious snarl.
“She won’t chase,” he says, and he’s right, because when he backs up, she doesn’t follow, keeping to her right circle around his feet. “But if you approach me...”
Raising his hands, he beckons+
“She won’t chase,” he says, and he’s right, because when he backs up, she doesn’t follow, keeping to her right circle around his feet. “But if you approach me...”
Raising his hands, he beckons+
Chuuya forward, giving him a come-get-me-grin.
He’s stepping forward automatically, drawn in by the sight of him playing, inviting him in, asking him to join his game.
Yoko moves with him easily enough, and when he gets close enough, she’s forcing Dazai to back off with a +
He’s stepping forward automatically, drawn in by the sight of him playing, inviting him in, asking him to join his game.
Yoko moves with him easily enough, and when he gets close enough, she’s forcing Dazai to back off with a +
series of loud barks and growls.
Dazai steps back, stride for stride, and now Chuuya is chasing /him/ around the yard, like a higher-stakes version of tag.
It feels /good/ like this, in the center of Yoko’s circle, like there’s no where safer for him in the entire world. +
Dazai steps back, stride for stride, and now Chuuya is chasing /him/ around the yard, like a higher-stakes version of tag.
It feels /good/ like this, in the center of Yoko’s circle, like there’s no where safer for him in the entire world. +
Just like that, the remains of anxiety and leftover panic are starting to fade away, soothed by the sight of Yoko so fierce in her defense.
Would he ever use her like this? Probably not.
But knowing that he /could/, and she would respond to his command—
It feels fucking +
Would he ever use her like this? Probably not.
But knowing that he /could/, and she would respond to his command—
It feels fucking +
/powerful/, better than any of the times he succeeded in his martial arts classes.
Eventually he herds Dazai almost into a corner— it’s not quite, he could still escape— but Dazai raises his hands with a slow, self-satisfied grin, giving him the metaphorical white flag.
Chuuya+
Eventually he herds Dazai almost into a corner— it’s not quite, he could still escape— but Dazai raises his hands with a slow, self-satisfied grin, giving him the metaphorical white flag.
Chuuya+
wins.
He takes a step back, drawing Yoko away. After a moment of searching his memory, he gives her the release signal, and crouches down to reward her with lots of pets.
Dazai stands in his place, looking altogether smug as he watches them together.
(Chuuya doesn’t realize+
He takes a step back, drawing Yoko away. After a moment of searching his memory, he gives her the release signal, and crouches down to reward her with lots of pets.
Dazai stands in his place, looking altogether smug as he watches them together.
(Chuuya doesn’t realize+
it,but the exercise wasn’t just about teaching Chuuya how to control the dogs.
It was about teaching him that he wasn’t /alone/.
It was about teaching him that there was always /someone/—soon to be /two/ someones—who were willing to do whatever it took to keep him safe.)
— +
It was about teaching him that he wasn’t /alone/.
It was about teaching him that there was always /someone/—soon to be /two/ someones—who were willing to do whatever it took to keep him safe.)
— +
After breakfast and playtime, Chuuya realizes that there's two problems he hasn't solved yet.
First off, his socks are now grass stained and dirty, and he's a bit sweaty. He needs a shower, badly.
Secondly, and this might be the more worrisome one-- he doesn't know how he's +
First off, his socks are now grass stained and dirty, and he's a bit sweaty. He needs a shower, badly.
Secondly, and this might be the more worrisome one-- he doesn't know how he's +
going to get /home/.
Shuuji hasn't come down from his room the entire morning, so either he's /not/ going to come down, he's not home, or he's passed out so deeply that even the noise of the dogs won't wake him up.
If he's still asleep, Chuuya doesn't want to go in there and+
Shuuji hasn't come down from his room the entire morning, so either he's /not/ going to come down, he's not home, or he's passed out so deeply that even the noise of the dogs won't wake him up.
If he's still asleep, Chuuya doesn't want to go in there and+
wake him up before he's ready, and if he's /busy/, he doesn't want to disturb him.
And if he's not home--
Chuuya doesn't think about that, the idea that he walked past Chuuya curled up and miserably asleep on the couch and did nothing about it. He didn't even have a pillow.+
And if he's not home--
Chuuya doesn't think about that, the idea that he walked past Chuuya curled up and miserably asleep on the couch and did nothing about it. He didn't even have a pillow.+
He puts it off as long as he can, playing with the dogs and having fun with Dazai in the backyard but eventually,his phone dies and he can't avoid it any longer.
Dazai loans him a charger, clearing off a space for him in the kitchen to plug his phone in. It's almost 9am by now,+
Dazai loans him a charger, clearing off a space for him in the kitchen to plug his phone in. It's almost 9am by now,+
and if Chuuya is going to start searching for a ride -- maybe an Uber or a walk to the nearest station-- he should start soon.
First though:
"May I use your shower, please?" Chuuya asks politely, looking up at Dazai with pleading eyes.
He still doesn't know where he stands+
First though:
"May I use your shower, please?" Chuuya asks politely, looking up at Dazai with pleading eyes.
He still doesn't know where he stands+
with Shuuji, and if he's not going to come back for a while--or maybe not ever-- then he wants to experience the sheer /brilliance/ of that shower while he has the chance.
"Of course," Dazai says easily, though his eyes have sharpened and zeroed in on the stretch of Chuuya's +
"Of course," Dazai says easily, though his eyes have sharpened and zeroed in on the stretch of Chuuya's +
collarbone, exposed by the too-big collar of Dazai's shirt.He looks hungry. "Towels are in the linen closet."
Chuuya nods gratefully,not even noticing the way Dazai's eyes are locked on him as he turns around and walks out of the kitchen.
He's a bit louder coming up the stairs+
Chuuya nods gratefully,not even noticing the way Dazai's eyes are locked on him as he turns around and walks out of the kitchen.
He's a bit louder coming up the stairs+
this time, on the off chance that Shuuji will decide to wake up in time. He was respectfully silent the first time coming down, but it's been /hours/, and the day has already started.
Dazai's room and office look more interesting in the brighter light. He can see the odd +
Dazai's room and office look more interesting in the brighter light. He can see the odd +
file and paperwork strewn over the desk. On the wall, there's a beautiful hanging collection of knives, gleaming. He'd say that they were purely for decoration, but he touches one out of curiosity, and they're /wickedly/ sharp.
They're so ridiculously easy to pull off the wall.+
They're so ridiculously easy to pull off the wall.+
Not exactly harmless decoration then, are they?
When he makes his way into the bathroom, he beelines for the shower.The faucet is tricky and a little complicated to work, but he gets it after a long moment of fiddling.
The door does have a lock, but he doesn't use it, choosing+
When he makes his way into the bathroom, he beelines for the shower.The faucet is tricky and a little complicated to work, but he gets it after a long moment of fiddling.
The door does have a lock, but he doesn't use it, choosing+
to leave the door just /slightly/ ajar. Yoko has followed him up and has taken to laying outside the door, and after this morning--
He's feeling /bold/.
(Currently, Dazai is downstairs and fighting with every bone in his body to stop imagining Chuuya in /his/ shower, wet and+
He's feeling /bold/.
(Currently, Dazai is downstairs and fighting with every bone in his body to stop imagining Chuuya in /his/ shower, wet and+
naked and /so/ pretty with that big, happy grin of his.
He's been in /torment/ the whole morning, forced to watch Chuuya laugh and smile while wearing /his/ clothes, adorably big on him, slipping off his shoulders.
Dazai wants to /taste/ that collarbone, but he /can't/. He +
He's been in /torment/ the whole morning, forced to watch Chuuya laugh and smile while wearing /his/ clothes, adorably big on him, slipping off his shoulders.
Dazai wants to /taste/ that collarbone, but he /can't/. He +
know there was progress today -- the adorable flush on Chuuya's face as he buttoned up his shirt is /still/ on his mind, and there was a point where Chuuya leaned up against him, giggling-- but it's not enough.
Even if it /was/, he's still torn on if he /should/.
Either way, +
Even if it /was/, he's still torn on if he /should/.
Either way, +
the thought of Chuuya in /his/ shower, the shower where Dazai jerked off to thoughts about him literally a week ago--
It's driving him /insane/. Driving him to the brinks of his very thin, very /tested/ self-control.)
The water is blissful, immediately hot and filling the room+
It's driving him /insane/. Driving him to the brinks of his very thin, very /tested/ self-control.)
The water is blissful, immediately hot and filling the room+
with steam. The water pressure is /fantastic/, pounding down on him with the strength to soothe any sore muscles. It's heaven compared to the weak trickle back at the dorm showers.
He spends a while messing with the remote on the wall-- there's colored lights on the /ceiling/+
He spends a while messing with the remote on the wall-- there's colored lights on the /ceiling/+
which make no logical sense to have, but he does feel very cool and sexy with gold-tinted water pouring down on him from above-- and then he spends just as much time going through Dazai's shower stuff.
He opens every bottle and sniffs it generously. Just out of curiousity, of+
He opens every bottle and sniffs it generously. Just out of curiousity, of+
course, not because he like the way the man /smells/.
He does have a decent array of items, which includes a seperate facewash, body wash and hair stuff, which is a relief.
(Chuuya saw that 5-in-1 soap in the /other/ shower, and he was /worried/ about who it belonged to.)+
He does have a decent array of items, which includes a seperate facewash, body wash and hair stuff, which is a relief.
(Chuuya saw that 5-in-1 soap in the /other/ shower, and he was /worried/ about who it belonged to.)+
Eventually, he runs out of things to prolong his shower, so he finally gets to washing his hair and body, luxuriating in the feel of Dazai's bodywash.
He still doesn't have a toothbrush, so he makes do with scrubbing his finger over his teeth and rinsing out his mouth with the+
He still doesn't have a toothbrush, so he makes do with scrubbing his finger over his teeth and rinsing out his mouth with the+
water.
When he shuts off the water and steps out, the room is mostly filled with steam, though it's quickly escaping out the cracked doorway.
The linen closet is /heated/ which is such a simple luxury that Chuuya never knew he needed, because the feeling of the hot towel +
When he shuts off the water and steps out, the room is mostly filled with steam, though it's quickly escaping out the cracked doorway.
The linen closet is /heated/ which is such a simple luxury that Chuuya never knew he needed, because the feeling of the hot towel +
against him is /heaven/.
Then he comes across the next problem:
What is he going to wear?
His jeans, because while Dazai's sweats /were/ comfortable, it's very distinctly not public wear. If he has to order an Uber or something, he doesn't want to do it in sweats that are+
Then he comes across the next problem:
What is he going to wear?
His jeans, because while Dazai's sweats /were/ comfortable, it's very distinctly not public wear. If he has to order an Uber or something, he doesn't want to do it in sweats that are+
very obviously three times too big for him.
His underwear is also a no go, because it feels gross to be wearing it after he'd been sweating and running around in it. Going commando for a few hours isn't that big of a deal to him.
The shirt, he hesitates on. He /could/ put+
His underwear is also a no go, because it feels gross to be wearing it after he'd been sweating and running around in it. Going commando for a few hours isn't that big of a deal to him.
The shirt, he hesitates on. He /could/ put+
on his sweater from last night, and there's a large part of him telling him he should. Dazai might have let him borrow his clothes for /breakfast/ but that didn't mean he could wear them longer than that.
But...
His sweater is a little tight on his arms,and it looks way better+
But...
His sweater is a little tight on his arms,and it looks way better+
than it feels. By contrast, Dazai's shirt is big, soft and wonderfully loose on him. It's comfortable.
Fuck it. He pulls the shirt back on, and takes the ends in his hands, tying them tightly together around his waist. He leaves just the last button undone, exposing his +
Fuck it. He pulls the shirt back on, and takes the ends in his hands, tying them tightly together around his waist. He leaves just the last button undone, exposing his +
collarbone and the first few inches of his chest. Of course, he has to roll the sleeves up multiple times to keep his hands free, but it works.
He can't do anything about how often the collar slides off his shoulders, but it's not scandalous or anything, so he brushes it off.+
He can't do anything about how often the collar slides off his shoulders, but it's not scandalous or anything, so he brushes it off.+
So far, the worst crime Dazai has committed is that the man does not own a blowdryer or /anything/ Chuuya can use for his hair, so he has to settle for squeezing most of the moisture out of it and leaving it to dry wild.
He takes his dirty socks, underwear and sweater with him+
He takes his dirty socks, underwear and sweater with him+
when he leaves the bathroom, hanging up his towel because he can’t find a laundry hamper.
He smiles at himself in the mirror as he leaves, because even though he doesn’t have any makeup, he looks a /lot/ better than he did this morning.
Pink with the heat, the circles under+
He smiles at himself in the mirror as he leaves, because even though he doesn’t have any makeup, he looks a /lot/ better than he did this morning.
Pink with the heat, the circles under+
his eyes gone, eyes clearer. Even his freckles seem rejuvenated by his stint in the sun, prominent over his nose.
He looks better than he did. He /feels/ better, by a lot.
Yoko is still sprawled across the bedroom floor, waiting patiently for him. He crouches down to give +
He looks better than he did. He /feels/ better, by a lot.
Yoko is still sprawled across the bedroom floor, waiting patiently for him. He crouches down to give +
her a scratch behind the ear before making his way back downstairs.
Shuuji is still nowhere to be seen, but Dazai is sitting at the dining room table, legs sprawled out to take up as much room as possible as he scrolls on his phone.
He looks up as Chuuya enters, and for a+
Shuuji is still nowhere to be seen, but Dazai is sitting at the dining room table, legs sprawled out to take up as much room as possible as he scrolls on his phone.
He looks up as Chuuya enters, and for a+
second he just looks /struck/, eyes widening comically and hand freezing mid-motion.
The room feels wired for a second, tension crackling in the air and surging quickly, building to a breaking point—
Then Dazai is wiping his hand down his face, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.+
The room feels wired for a second, tension crackling in the air and surging quickly, building to a breaking point—
Then Dazai is wiping his hand down his face, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.+
“This is /so/ not fair,” he mutters to himself. He’s wearing his /shirt/. Styled too, because he /chose/ it and /put it on/ and wanted to look /cute/ in it.
We’re not even going to /discuss/ the slightly see-through patches on his shoulders and chest caused by his dripping wet+
We’re not even going to /discuss/ the slightly see-through patches on his shoulders and chest caused by his dripping wet+
hair.
Dazai is /only/ a man, after all. He has his limits and Chuuya is quickly finding /all/ of them.
The redhead glances down at himself, frowning. He didn’t think wearing his shirt was a big deal, but since Dazai is squeezing his eyes shut like he’s in pain and taking deep,+
Dazai is /only/ a man, after all. He has his limits and Chuuya is quickly finding /all/ of them.
The redhead glances down at himself, frowning. He didn’t think wearing his shirt was a big deal, but since Dazai is squeezing his eyes shut like he’s in pain and taking deep,+
even breaths, maybe it /is/.
“Sorry,” he mutters, feeling sheepish, “I just didn’t want to wear my sweater, but I can go put it on—“
That makes Dazai look up, and even though his expression is strained, his voice is genuine. “No, no, sweetheart. You look—“ /edible/ “—nice.”+
“Sorry,” he mutters, feeling sheepish, “I just didn’t want to wear my sweater, but I can go put it on—“
That makes Dazai look up, and even though his expression is strained, his voice is genuine. “No, no, sweetheart. You look—“ /edible/ “—nice.”+
Heat immediately blooms across Chuuya's cheeks, sending a sliver of embarassment shooting through him. It wasn't even a /smooth/ compliment, and certainly not the most /suave/ thing Dazai has said to him, but something about the direct compliment makes his stomach fill with +
butterflies.
“Oh,” he says lamely, wishing he could come up with something cool to say back, but all he can think of is ‘your /lap/ looks nice—‘ and he’s not saying /that/. “Thanks.”
He saves the bundle of clothes in his hand, smiling sheepishly. “Do you have a bag that I +
“Oh,” he says lamely, wishing he could come up with something cool to say back, but all he can think of is ‘your /lap/ looks nice—‘ and he’s not saying /that/. “Thanks.”
He saves the bundle of clothes in his hand, smiling sheepishly. “Do you have a bag that I +
could use for these?”
(Not for the first time, and certainly not the last, Dazai curses how observant he is. Because clearly, Chuuya tried to ball up his clothes as tightly as possible, but there’s a moment when the sweater sleeve flies back and he catches a glimpse of a +
(Not for the first time, and certainly not the last, Dazai curses how observant he is. Because clearly, Chuuya tried to ball up his clothes as tightly as possible, but there’s a moment when the sweater sleeve flies back and he catches a glimpse of a +
recognizable waistband—
And then Dazai /knows/.
He grips the edge of the table so hard the wood creaks, jaw aching with how hard he’s gritting his teeth together to get himself /back/ under control.
He is /not/ going to do anything reckless with the little /minx/ who is +
And then Dazai /knows/.
He grips the edge of the table so hard the wood creaks, jaw aching with how hard he’s gritting his teeth together to get himself /back/ under control.
He is /not/ going to do anything reckless with the little /minx/ who is +
wearing /his/ shirt, a pair of sinfully tight jeans and just /accidentally/ flashed that he’s not wearing any underwear.
He won’t.
God, he /wants/ to, he’ll make it /so/ good for him, for them both—
/No./)
Mute, Dazai points at a cupboard underneath the sink, muscles in his+
He won’t.
God, he /wants/ to, he’ll make it /so/ good for him, for them both—
/No./)
Mute, Dazai points at a cupboard underneath the sink, muscles in his+
jaw working frantically. His eyes look like they’re on /fire/, alive with heat.
Chuuya crosses over, bending over innocently to reach into the cupboard—
Something /snaps/.
The sound makes Chuuya jump, looking up in shock.
Dazai looks irritated and sheepish, one hand +
Chuuya crosses over, bending over innocently to reach into the cupboard—
Something /snaps/.
The sound makes Chuuya jump, looking up in shock.
Dazai looks irritated and sheepish, one hand +
gripping onto the table like someone is trying to steal it from him—
And shaking the other, the remains of what /used/ to be his coffee cup on the table. There’s coffee everywhere and Dazai’s hand is bleeding from the shards.
“Are you alright?” Chuuya asks, concerned. It+
And shaking the other, the remains of what /used/ to be his coffee cup on the table. There’s coffee everywhere and Dazai’s hand is bleeding from the shards.
“Are you alright?” Chuuya asks, concerned. It+
doesn’t look like a /lot/ of blood, but it’s already starting to drip down his palm and over his wrist.
“Yeah,” Dazai grumbles, shoving back from his chair. “I’m fine. Forgot my own strength, I guess.”
With his other hand, he picks up most of the ceramic shards, tossing them+
“Yeah,” Dazai grumbles, shoving back from his chair. “I’m fine. Forgot my own strength, I guess.”
With his other hand, he picks up most of the ceramic shards, tossing them+
into the trash.
Chuuya goes to offer to help clean up the mess, or his hand, because it looks /painful/—
But Dazai barely even /looks/ at him before he’s disappearing around the corner and up the stairs, footsteps heavy.
...what was /that/ about?
He stares after him for +
Chuuya goes to offer to help clean up the mess, or his hand, because it looks /painful/—
But Dazai barely even /looks/ at him before he’s disappearing around the corner and up the stairs, footsteps heavy.
...what was /that/ about?
He stares after him for +
a second, before shaking himself and turning back to what he was doing.
There are several bags under the counter, and he takes the smallest, most unnecessary looking one, shoving his clothes into it haphazardly.
His phone is completely charged by now, so he unplugs it, taking+
There are several bags under the counter, and he takes the smallest, most unnecessary looking one, shoving his clothes into it haphazardly.
His phone is completely charged by now, so he unplugs it, taking+
the cord and leaving it in clear view on the counter.
He shoots off a few texts to his friends, asking if any of them have a car or can pick him up at all.Out of curiosity, he checks the price for an Uber from this address, and winces at the price.
Dazai is still upstairs, and+
He shoots off a few texts to his friends, asking if any of them have a car or can pick him up at all.Out of curiosity, he checks the price for an Uber from this address, and winces at the price.
Dazai is still upstairs, and+
the coffee is creeping across the table, and there’s nothing else to do as he waits so—
He takes a rag he finds in the kitchen and cleans it up quickly, mopping up the mess and tossing the remaining pieces. It only takes a minute, and it makes Chuuya feel like he’s repaid +
He takes a rag he finds in the kitchen and cleans it up quickly, mopping up the mess and tossing the remaining pieces. It only takes a minute, and it makes Chuuya feel like he’s repaid +
how much fun he had this morning, and for lending him his clothes, and generally just allowing him to /look/ upon his hotness.
Yoko asks to go outside again, so he lets her out to join Kozo in the backyard.
There’s the ding of a incoming text, so he trots back over to check+
Yoko asks to go outside again, so he lets her out to join Kozo in the backyard.
There’s the ding of a incoming text, so he trots back over to check+
hoping it’s a /yes/ so he can get out of here before it starts to get awkward—
[YUAN]: sorry I’m traveling today, I’m not in town :(
[KOUYOU]: Sorry Chuuya, I’ve got a ton of work today that I can’t miss. :(
Well, fuck.
He groans, slumping over the counter. He /really/+
[YUAN]: sorry I’m traveling today, I’m not in town :(
[KOUYOU]: Sorry Chuuya, I’ve got a ton of work today that I can’t miss. :(
Well, fuck.
He groans, slumping over the counter. He /really/+
doesn’t want to walk. An Uber will take up most of his monthly allowance, and he doesn’t want to ask Dazai because he already made him breakfast and spent all morning with him,surely he has more important things to do than to take him home—
“What happened?”
Not realizing Dazai+
“What happened?”
Not realizing Dazai+
had returned, Chuuya flinches a little, head snapping up.
He had changed sometime when he was upstairs, and now he’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a dark grey t-shirt.
(Chuuya is not mourning the view of the button down and the gray sweatpants. He’s not, even though he +
He had changed sometime when he was upstairs, and now he’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a dark grey t-shirt.
(Chuuya is not mourning the view of the button down and the gray sweatpants. He’s not, even though he +
couldn’t /help/ to notice that the bulge was /big/, and he honestly doesn’t know if that’s because /Dazai/ is big or the sweats or just really loose.)
It takes him a second to remember that Dazai had asked him a question. “It’s nothing,” he says, and then when Dazai arches a +
It takes him a second to remember that Dazai had asked him a question. “It’s nothing,” he says, and then when Dazai arches a +
perfectly shaped eyebrow at him, he reluctantly continues, “it’s just— Shuuji still isn’t awake and I don’t know anyone else who can give me a ride. I don’t want to overstay my welcome or anything...”
Most likely, he already /has/. He hadn’t anticipated staying the night, and +
Most likely, he already /has/. He hadn’t anticipated staying the night, and +
Dazai sounds like a busy man.
Said busy man shrugs easily. “Alright. I’ll take you home.”
Chuuya gapes at him. Why is he being so /nice/? “You don’t have to do that—.”
Dazai cuts him off, striding back to the dining room table. “I dont have to— i /want/ to.”
Then, before+
Said busy man shrugs easily. “Alright. I’ll take you home.”
Chuuya gapes at him. Why is he being so /nice/? “You don’t have to do that—.”
Dazai cuts him off, striding back to the dining room table. “I dont have to— i /want/ to.”
Then, before+
Chuuya can overanalyze that statement and the tone in his voice, he’s moving on. “Did you clean the table? You didn’t have to do that.”
Seeing his opportunity and /running/ with it, Chuuya leans his chin on his hands, giving Dazai a slow, self-satisfied smile. “I didn’t have +
Seeing his opportunity and /running/ with it, Chuuya leans his chin on his hands, giving Dazai a slow, self-satisfied smile. “I didn’t have +
to— I wanted to.”
There’s a flash of teeth, an even brighter flash of eyes, and suddenly Dazai is in his space, on the /verge/ of crowding him but not quite.
After this morning, the act of Dazai approaching him doesn’t make him automatically jump away, though his heart leaps+
There’s a flash of teeth, an even brighter flash of eyes, and suddenly Dazai is in his space, on the /verge/ of crowding him but not quite.
After this morning, the act of Dazai approaching him doesn’t make him automatically jump away, though his heart leaps+
into his mouth, suddenly pounding, and he realizes too late that /oh, the dogs are outside, he could actually touch me/—
But he doesn’t, even though a small part of him /aches/ for it. He just leans across the counter with a wicked smile as he murmurs, “/Thank/ you, doll— +
But he doesn’t, even though a small part of him /aches/ for it. He just leans across the counter with a wicked smile as he murmurs, “/Thank/ you, doll— +
I like it when you’re good for me.”
/Shit/. Chuuya has /no/ idea what to say to that, and his only response is to gape at him, eyes wide and a furious blush growing on his face as he tries not to show the heat and pure /want/ that is suddenly growing in his stomach, /lower/— +
/Shit/. Chuuya has /no/ idea what to say to that, and his only response is to gape at him, eyes wide and a furious blush growing on his face as he tries not to show the heat and pure /want/ that is suddenly growing in his stomach, /lower/— +
The curl of Dazai’s lips and the single dimple is making a reappearance, making Chuuya’s heart stutter in his chest with a mixture of affection and desire. Brown eyes dare him to respond, to further the game, call to response.
When it’s clear that Chuuya isn’t going to say +
When it’s clear that Chuuya isn’t going to say +
anything— can’t say anything, actually, because he’s pretty sure he’s biting back a /moan/— Dazai leans back again, smug as always when he wins their little games.
“So— that ride?”
Chuuya’s mind— obviously not in the right place after /that/ statement— jumps immediately to+
“So— that ride?”
Chuuya’s mind— obviously not in the right place after /that/ statement— jumps immediately to+
the image of him in Dazai’s lap, the wet dream reversed, heat and friction building sweet and easy as deliciously strong arms hold him close, that sinful voice in his ear—
Oh god. His cock seems /very/ interested in that imagery, stirring in his pants.
No, no, this /cannot/+
Oh god. His cock seems /very/ interested in that imagery, stirring in his pants.
No, no, this /cannot/+
be happening, that’s so /embarrassing/.
Granted, he is a horny teenager that wakes up hard more often than he doesn’t but—
Dazai hasn’t even /touched/ him. Barely touched him all day, and even those touches were more cautious than /seductive/. Sure, his voice is like warm+
Granted, he is a horny teenager that wakes up hard more often than he doesn’t but—
Dazai hasn’t even /touched/ him. Barely touched him all day, and even those touches were more cautious than /seductive/. Sure, his voice is like warm+
caramel over his senses, but /still/.
It shouldn’t take a few /words/.
Biting the inside of his cheek until it hurts, Chuuya smiles at him gratefully. “Are you sure you’re not busy? It’s not a problem if you are.”
His fingers tap at the counter, and for the first time, +
It shouldn’t take a few /words/.
Biting the inside of his cheek until it hurts, Chuuya smiles at him gratefully. “Are you sure you’re not busy? It’s not a problem if you are.”
His fingers tap at the counter, and for the first time, +
Chuuya notices that his /entire/ hand is wrapped in bandages. Not just his palm, where the cut was, but all the way down his fingers to the second knuckle, with only the joints exposed for movement.
And if he looks closely as his fingers flex—
Is that...
Is that /ink/? +
And if he looks closely as his fingers flex—
Is that...
Is that /ink/? +
He can’t make out any shapes and truthfully, he’s not even sure he’s not just /imagining/ it but—
If those /are/ tattoos on his fingers, that changes a /lot/ of things.
In his generation, tattoos are generally more accepted. But in Dazai’s?
The only people who had tattoos+
If those /are/ tattoos on his fingers, that changes a /lot/ of things.
In his generation, tattoos are generally more accepted. But in Dazai’s?
The only people who had tattoos+
are /Yakuza/.
His mind flashes to the guard dogs, the cars, the knives on the wall—
... Surely someone in the mafia wouldn’t be so nice to him though? Aren’t they supposed to be violent assholes who kill anyone who disagrees with them or gives them attitude?
(Despite his+
His mind flashes to the guard dogs, the cars, the knives on the wall—
... Surely someone in the mafia wouldn’t be so nice to him though? Aren’t they supposed to be violent assholes who kill anyone who disagrees with them or gives them attitude?
(Despite his+
initial scoffing at the ‘demon prodigy’ story, he has /not/ forgotten what Yuan told him.)
He’s probably just imagining things. Or maybe it’s /new/ ink,to celebrate the new cultural norms. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“For you? Never too busy.”
/That/ sounds like flirting!!+
He’s probably just imagining things. Or maybe it’s /new/ ink,to celebrate the new cultural norms. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“For you? Never too busy.”
/That/ sounds like flirting!!+
Is he /imagining/ it or is Dazai flirting with him right now?
He narrows his eyes at him, but the only response he gets is a heart-achingly adorable boyish grin.
“Then yes, please,” he responds, “when is a good time?”
“Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart.”
He blows out a +
He narrows his eyes at him, but the only response he gets is a heart-achingly adorable boyish grin.
“Then yes, please,” he responds, “when is a good time?”
“Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart.”
He blows out a +
breath, considering. Now seems like too soon but he’s also had /so/ much happen for the last 16 hours, and honestly he needs some space to digest all his feelings without feeling those wicked eyes watching his every move and setting him on fire.
And as much as Chuuya might +
And as much as Chuuya might +
want to give into the swirling maelstrom of heat and want inside him, there’s at /least/ one reason he can’t:
Shuuji. He’s still upstairs, assumingly, and while things might be /tense/ right now, that doesn’t give him the right to just have an affair with his dad right here in+
Shuuji. He’s still upstairs, assumingly, and while things might be /tense/ right now, that doesn’t give him the right to just have an affair with his dad right here in+
the kitchen of his own home.
Or, well—
Dazai’s home.
He gives Dazai a small, hesitant look. “Is now okay?”
Dazai nods, already moving away. “Sure. Let me get my keys.”
The ease of acceptance makes some tension dissolve in his chest, grateful that he doesn’t have to+
Or, well—
Dazai’s home.
He gives Dazai a small, hesitant look. “Is now okay?”
Dazai nods, already moving away. “Sure. Let me get my keys.”
The ease of acceptance makes some tension dissolve in his chest, grateful that he doesn’t have to+
worry about this anymore.
Shooting off texts to his sister and Yuan to let them know he found his own way home, he shoves his feet in his shoes and gathers up all his stuff.
Down the hallway next to the stairs, there’s a door Chuuya has never seen opened. He assumes it leads+
Shooting off texts to his sister and Yuan to let them know he found his own way home, he shoves his feet in his shoes and gathers up all his stuff.
Down the hallway next to the stairs, there’s a door Chuuya has never seen opened. He assumes it leads+
to the garage, because Dazai has disappeared into it after putting his own shoes on.
He follows curiously, peeking around the door—
And is met with /beauty/.
There’s room for three cars, and it’s taken up by the car Shuuji usually drives, the /beautiful/ motorcycle he +
He follows curiously, peeking around the door—
And is met with /beauty/.
There’s room for three cars, and it’s taken up by the car Shuuji usually drives, the /beautiful/ motorcycle he +
rode in the last time, and the /first/ car he saw, the one Shuuji drove on the night they met.
Somehow, Dazai looks /so/ much more natural and confident as he clicks the button to open up the garage door, unlocking the second, black car.
The first time he rode in it, he felt+
Somehow, Dazai looks /so/ much more natural and confident as he clicks the button to open up the garage door, unlocking the second, black car.
The first time he rode in it, he felt+
like he didn’t belong.
Now, he doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere /else/ as he watches Dazai slide into the seat and reach across the interior to unlock the other door for him.
With all the vehicles in the garage, it’s a bit crowded, so he opens the door carefully, wedging+
Now, he doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere /else/ as he watches Dazai slide into the seat and reach across the interior to unlock the other door for him.
With all the vehicles in the garage, it’s a bit crowded, so he opens the door carefully, wedging+
himself through the small crack.
This time, the touchpad on the dash comes alive after Dazai’s enters in a quick password, too quick for him to read. The screen clears and offers up a variety of apps, from music to directions to the /internet/.
(Chuuya is suddenly glad that+
This time, the touchpad on the dash comes alive after Dazai’s enters in a quick password, too quick for him to read. The screen clears and offers up a variety of apps, from music to directions to the /internet/.
(Chuuya is suddenly glad that+
Shuji doesn’t know the password, because he’d probably be cruising the web while nearly hitting pedestrians.)
Dazai waits until his seatbelt is on to put the car in gear, twisting in his seat to look behind him as he smoothly reserves.
A pause in the driveway as they wait for+
Dazai waits until his seatbelt is on to put the car in gear, twisting in his seat to look behind him as he smoothly reserves.
A pause in the driveway as they wait for+
the door to close, and then they’re taking off and—
Chuuya realizes he has /another/ problem. He has a lot of those, but this one...
Dazai is absurdly hot while driving. /Ridiculously/ hot.
While Shuuji is pressed close to the steering wheel, like a little old lady who can’t+
Chuuya realizes he has /another/ problem. He has a lot of those, but this one...
Dazai is absurdly hot while driving. /Ridiculously/ hot.
While Shuuji is pressed close to the steering wheel, like a little old lady who can’t+
see over the dash, Dazai is /relaxed/, his seat pushed back to utilize the full length of his legs.
He’s only got one hand on the wheel, palm braced, but somehow he has complete control even with the sharper turns. His other hand, the bandaged one, is dangling over the center+
He’s only got one hand on the wheel, palm braced, but somehow he has complete control even with the sharper turns. His other hand, the bandaged one, is dangling over the center+
console, close enough to touch.
(Close enough to /hold/—.)
Chuuya watches out of the corner of his eye as he drives, muscles in his thighs flexing visibly as he presses on the gas, approaching the turns without even a hint of nerves. He leans with the car, like he’s a part of+
(Close enough to /hold/—.)
Chuuya watches out of the corner of his eye as he drives, muscles in his thighs flexing visibly as he presses on the gas, approaching the turns without even a hint of nerves. He leans with the car, like he’s a part of+
it, accelerating through the turn and coming out smoothly on the other side without even wavering—
Yeah, it’s hot. Like he’s some rebel, reckless race car driver in those drifting movies, like he /owns/ the road, completely confident in his abilities to act and react.
And that+
Yeah, it’s hot. Like he’s some rebel, reckless race car driver in those drifting movies, like he /owns/ the road, completely confident in his abilities to act and react.
And that+
reaction time /is/ quick, Chuuya tested it this morning, and he’s /dying/ to see what it’d look like if he was driving with /real/ speed, eyes focused on the road and body moving instinctively.
The side of Dazai’s mouth twitches and too late, Chuuya realizes he was /staring/.+
The side of Dazai’s mouth twitches and too late, Chuuya realizes he was /staring/.+
“Can I help you, or do you just like to look?”
His forearm, still covered in bandages, flexes as he takes a sharper turn, finally falling into the heavier city traffic. He’s even more focused now, squeezing the car into tight openings and roaring through the intersection on the+
His forearm, still covered in bandages, flexes as he takes a sharper turn, finally falling into the heavier city traffic. He’s even more focused now, squeezing the car into tight openings and roaring through the intersection on the+
tail end of yellow lights.
Yeah, Chuya thinks breathlessly as he watches Dazai’s thigh bunch with muscle when he steps on the brakes, he does like staring.
He doesn’t /say/ that though. “Where did you learn to drive like this?”
Because /confidence/ is one thing, but /skill/+
Yeah, Chuya thinks breathlessly as he watches Dazai’s thigh bunch with muscle when he steps on the brakes, he does like staring.
He doesn’t /say/ that though. “Where did you learn to drive like this?”
Because /confidence/ is one thing, but /skill/+
is another, and clearly, Dazai is much better than what’s needed to pass the driving test.
Chuuya’s dad is a decent driver, and he drives /nothing/ like this.
“That,” Dazai chuckles, giving him an amused look, “is a secret, doll.”
Instinctively, Chuuya sticks his tongue+
Chuuya’s dad is a decent driver, and he drives /nothing/ like this.
“That,” Dazai chuckles, giving him an amused look, “is a secret, doll.”
Instinctively, Chuuya sticks his tongue+
out at him, scowling a little.
It just makes Dazai laugh again, louder, and Chuuya’s heart feels way too big for his chest.
Eventually though, they approach the college. The traffic is slower here, so they spend longer at a standstill, but make their way steadily closer. +
It just makes Dazai laugh again, louder, and Chuuya’s heart feels way too big for his chest.
Eventually though, they approach the college. The traffic is slower here, so they spend longer at a standstill, but make their way steadily closer. +
Chuuya finds himself oddly hesitant to leave. Yes, he specifically asked to go home /now/ so he could get his feelings together before class tomorrow, but now that he’s looking at the campus—
He doesn’t want to go. He wants to tell Dazai to keep driving, to extend their time as+
He doesn’t want to go. He wants to tell Dazai to keep driving, to extend their time as+
long as possible, just a /little/ more please, I don’t want to go, please don’t leave, not yet—
When Dazai parks, it feels like the end.
The end of the ride, the end of the visit, maybe the end /entirely/—
He doesn’t know, but the idea of getting out makes him sad. +
When Dazai parks, it feels like the end.
The end of the ride, the end of the visit, maybe the end /entirely/—
He doesn’t know, but the idea of getting out makes him sad. +
A little lonely.
Sniffing softly, he gathers his stuff quickly, not wanting to prolong this feeling. Just get it over with, he says to himself.
“Thank you again,” he mumbles, opening the door when he sees it’s clear, “for everything.”
Why does it feel like /goodbye/?+
Sniffing softly, he gathers his stuff quickly, not wanting to prolong this feeling. Just get it over with, he says to himself.
“Thank you again,” he mumbles, opening the door when he sees it’s clear, “for everything.”
Why does it feel like /goodbye/?+
Fingertips brush his arm, gaining his attention. He looks.
Thé look on Dazai’s face is open, without the teasing and tension and wickedness from before. It’s like he’s trying to reassure Chuuya that there is no game to be played as he says, “it was nothing. See you later.” +
Thé look on Dazai’s face is open, without the teasing and tension and wickedness from before. It’s like he’s trying to reassure Chuuya that there is no game to be played as he says, “it was nothing. See you later.” +
That’s enough for Chuuya to smile back, small, before getting out.
Well, he said ‘see you later’ right? Not goodbye. So there will be a next time, right?
(Dazai sits there and watches Chuuya walk away until he can no longer see him. Then a little longer, just in case.)
—— +
Well, he said ‘see you later’ right? Not goodbye. So there will be a next time, right?
(Dazai sits there and watches Chuuya walk away until he can no longer see him. Then a little longer, just in case.)
—— +
Unfortunately, Dazai /does/ have a little work to do later that day. It’s mostly menial stuff, checking out a building that had been recently purchased by the Rats and stealing the manifests for incoming shipments to the mafia.
Child’s play.
The building /is/ interesting, +
Child’s play.
The building /is/ interesting, +
mostly in it’s placement near the docks and warehouse district, perfect for offloading and taking in incoming product. The Rats don’t have a lot of shipments coming through the Yokohama ports so the fact that they chose this location—
It’s weird, speaks of preemptive planning.+
It’s weird, speaks of preemptive planning.+
Not to mention that the building was purchased only a few days ago, and is already crawling with armed guards. Dazai can’t get close enough without tipping them off, so he makes a mental reminder to come back with his rifle and scope, so he can look in from afar.
Eventually, +
Eventually, +
he winds up at the shopping district, killing time and buying a few odds and ends while he waits for word from one of his informants when he sees—
A flower shop.
Dazai actually /likes/ flowers and plants, but he has an unfortunate black thumb and whatever he brings home +
A flower shop.
Dazai actually /likes/ flowers and plants, but he has an unfortunate black thumb and whatever he brings home +
usually does within a few weeks. Or is eaten by Kozo, but semantics.
He wanders in, taking a deep breath of the fresh, fragrant air inside. It’s clearly a family owned shop, a bit rundown but with love and hard work showing in every potted plant on the shelves and every bouquet+
He wanders in, taking a deep breath of the fresh, fragrant air inside. It’s clearly a family owned shop, a bit rundown but with love and hard work showing in every potted plant on the shelves and every bouquet+
lining the walls.
Walking the aisles slowly, he takes the time to brush her fingers gently over the leaves of the bigger plants, and even bends down to sniff some of the flowers.
It’s nice, peaceful, warm as only a greenhouse can be, and smells of growing, fragrant life.+
Walking the aisles slowly, he takes the time to brush her fingers gently over the leaves of the bigger plants, and even bends down to sniff some of the flowers.
It’s nice, peaceful, warm as only a greenhouse can be, and smells of growing, fragrant life.+
Now, Dazai wouldn’t say he was a very romantic guy. He’s done his fair share of wooing and seducing and what have you, but normally he just doesn’t /think/ about it. It takes someone special to put him in the mindset of romancing and gift giving.
Which is why it’s surprising—+
Which is why it’s surprising—+
and also /not/ surprising, given the events of the the last two weeks— that when his eyes turn to the bouquet section and fall upon a bouquet filled with orange and white roses, dotted with yellow sun stars—
His mind immediately flashes to Chuuya.
With a thoughtful him, he+
His mind immediately flashes to Chuuya.
With a thoughtful him, he+
traces the shape of one orange rose, this one barely beginning to bloom, it’s tiny petals still curled up and fragile.
He probably shouldn’t. Getting involved with Dazai is not as simple or safe as it sounds, and that’s the exact reason he’s avoided any kind of relationship for+
He probably shouldn’t. Getting involved with Dazai is not as simple or safe as it sounds, and that’s the exact reason he’s avoided any kind of relationship for+
this long. For a very long time, he didn’t actually /want/ any type of relationship.
(Up until now, he’s been using a BDSM club to sate his...other appetites. It’s worked out well for him for the most part, but he hasn’t been for a while.)
Maybe the desire has been kickstarted+
(Up until now, he’s been using a BDSM club to sate his...other appetites. It’s worked out well for him for the most part, but he hasn’t been for a while.)
Maybe the desire has been kickstarted+
by seeing his son parade around with his friends and... /conquests/— Dazai has /never/ seen him use the word boyfriend or girlfriend— but lately he’s been...
Wanting more.
And while he’d like to say that his interest in Chuuya is purely sexual, he can’t deny that the domestic+
Wanting more.
And while he’d like to say that his interest in Chuuya is purely sexual, he can’t deny that the domestic+
scene in the kitchen this morning, making pancakes and coffee for him, watching him eat them with a primal,providing satisfaction and then playing together with the dogs outside for a while, felt /so/ nice.
For a few hours,he didn’t have to be Dazai Osamu, former demon prodigy,+
For a few hours,he didn’t have to be Dazai Osamu, former demon prodigy,+
feared throughout the underground. For a few hours, he could just be /Dazai/.
And it was simple and easy, and god, he just wants to come home to something like that every day.
It’s not fair to Chuuya though, because he’s young and inexperienced, and he doesn’t deserve to be+
And it was simple and easy, and god, he just wants to come home to something like that every day.
It’s not fair to Chuuya though, because he’s young and inexperienced, and he doesn’t deserve to be+
dragged into a life like his just because Dazai /wants/ him.
(And he does want him, so much more than he should, and more than Dazai has wanted a lot of things in his life.)
So he shouldn’t. Actually, he should be shutting down their entire situation and making himself +
(And he does want him, so much more than he should, and more than Dazai has wanted a lot of things in his life.)
So he shouldn’t. Actually, he should be shutting down their entire situation and making himself +
completely unavailable but—
“Can I help you, sir?”
— he keeps getting sucked back in.
Dazai turns with a brillant smile, greeting the small shopkeeper. It’s an older woman, with greying hair and a soft, welcoming aura. “I was wondering; do you deliver?”
The shopkeeper nods+
“Can I help you, sir?”
— he keeps getting sucked back in.
Dazai turns with a brillant smile, greeting the small shopkeeper. It’s an older woman, with greying hair and a soft, welcoming aura. “I was wondering; do you deliver?”
The shopkeeper nods+
clasping her hands together. “With an extra fee, of course, and nothing farther than 15km.”
That’s fine, the college campus isn’t that far away anyways.
He plucks the bouquet off the shelf. All the thorns have already been shaved off. “I’ll take this one then.”
“Great! +
That’s fine, the college campus isn’t that far away anyways.
He plucks the bouquet off the shelf. All the thorns have already been shaved off. “I’ll take this one then.”
“Great! +
Would you like to take a look at vases as well, or just the bouquet itself?”
It’s probably a good assumption that Chuuya doesn’t have a vase in his dorm, and if Dazai is going to do this, then he might as well go all out, right? Presentation means everything.
For the vase, he+
It’s probably a good assumption that Chuuya doesn’t have a vase in his dorm, and if Dazai is going to do this, then he might as well go all out, right? Presentation means everything.
For the vase, he+
picks out something tall and light pink colored. It compliments the bright colors of the bouquet, and he’s noticed that Chuuya usually likes bright colors.
(Also he /did/ notice that he adored Yoko in her pink bandana, and he’s not above using her to get closer to him.)
The+
(Also he /did/ notice that he adored Yoko in her pink bandana, and he’s not above using her to get closer to him.)
The+
shopkeeper— a lady by the name of Chiyo— clips the stems of the bouquet before rubber banding a packet of plant food around the stems.
She dumps another packet into the water she puts into the vase, before carefully setting the flowers in. “Where would you like them delivered?”+
She dumps another packet into the water she puts into the vase, before carefully setting the flowers in. “Where would you like them delivered?”+
Dazai rattles off the address for Chuuya’s dorm— /yes/, he eventually broke and cracked the university network to get some information on him, he’s not /perfect/— then asks, “when will they be delivered?”
Chiyo checks the watch on her wrist as she enters in the address on her +
Chiyo checks the watch on her wrist as she enters in the address on her +
computer. “Our delivery boy arrives in one hour, so they should arrive within two hours.”
It’s a little earlier than he expected, but it works out for him. Chuuya has mentioned he wasn’t busy today, so hopefully he’ll be in his dorm to receive them.
She finishes charging him+
It’s a little earlier than he expected, but it works out for him. Chuuya has mentioned he wasn’t busy today, so hopefully he’ll be in his dorm to receive them.
She finishes charging him+
and entering in all the necessary information,before turning to him with the next problem: “would you like to include a note or a calling card?”
Dazai thinks it over. If he /did/ indicate that they were from him, it probably wouldn’t be received badly, it just—
Circles back to+
Dazai thinks it over. If he /did/ indicate that they were from him, it probably wouldn’t be received badly, it just—
Circles back to+
the whole ‘he’s too young and innocent to be involved with me’ argument.
At the end of the day, Chuuya /did/ have an upsetting day yesterday— even if Dazai still doesn’t know what happened to cause that— and hopefully, this will help to finish cheering him up.
Everyone likes+
At the end of the day, Chuuya /did/ have an upsetting day yesterday— even if Dazai still doesn’t know what happened to cause that— and hopefully, this will help to finish cheering him up.
Everyone likes+
getting flowers—
He fishes in his pocket, pulling out a completely black business card, one that doesn’t have any text on it at all. “Yeah, could you include this, please?”
— he just doesn’t have to know they’re from /him/.
————— +
He fishes in his pocket, pulling out a completely black business card, one that doesn’t have any text on it at all. “Yeah, could you include this, please?”
— he just doesn’t have to know they’re from /him/.
————— +
Thankfully, Nikolai is not in their dorm when he arrives home. Apparently, Sunday’s are one of his usual working days, so he’ll probably be gone for most of the day.
The sticky note he left on Chuuya’s pillow, labeled with a simple ‘ ;) ‘ makes Chuuya roll his eyes though.
At+
The sticky note he left on Chuuya’s pillow, labeled with a simple ‘ ;) ‘ makes Chuuya roll his eyes though.
At+
least he doesn’t have to explain why he’s wearing a different shirt than he left in and carrying his clothes in a bag, he thinks to himself.
He takes this moment to shuck off his dirty jeans and slip into brand new underwear and a pair of loose shorts.
The shirt he leaves on.+
He takes this moment to shuck off his dirty jeans and slip into brand new underwear and a pair of loose shorts.
The shirt he leaves on.+
For now.
He’ll take it off soon, he swears, it’s just /comfortable/. Like a warm, familiar blanket.
Sliding under the covers of his bed, because he’s getting sleepy from the sugar crash, Chuuya opens his phone so he can scroll his social medias.
Yuan has tagged him in a +
He’ll take it off soon, he swears, it’s just /comfortable/. Like a warm, familiar blanket.
Sliding under the covers of his bed, because he’s getting sleepy from the sugar crash, Chuuya opens his phone so he can scroll his social medias.
Yuan has tagged him in a +
few posts on twitter, and he takes the time to respond with the proper ‘like’ and incoherent keysmashing.
Kyouka posted a new dress design on her Instagram, so he likes and comments on that, of course.
From Shuuji.... nothing. No texts, no tags, nothing that indicates he was+
Kyouka posted a new dress design on her Instagram, so he likes and comments on that, of course.
From Shuuji.... nothing. No texts, no tags, nothing that indicates he was+
thinking of him at all.
Chuuya bites his lip, fighting off the pang of hurt. Maybe he’s still sleeping. It’s not even noon yet, and he has noticed from his Snapchat story that Shuuji likes to stay up /very/ late. It’s a miracle he gets up for class on time.
Speaking of...he+
Chuuya bites his lip, fighting off the pang of hurt. Maybe he’s still sleeping. It’s not even noon yet, and he has noticed from his Snapchat story that Shuuji likes to stay up /very/ late. It’s a miracle he gets up for class on time.
Speaking of...he+
opens his app, morbidly curious.
His story hasn’t been updated since last night, so that makes Chuuya feel a little better.
He’s probably just sleeping.
Opening their message threads, Chuuya debates on reaching out to him first. Maybe the argument wasn’t strictly his fault+
His story hasn’t been updated since last night, so that makes Chuuya feel a little better.
He’s probably just sleeping.
Opening their message threads, Chuuya debates on reaching out to him first. Maybe the argument wasn’t strictly his fault+
but there /are/ some things he feels he should apologize for. Properly, this time, not when he’s reeling from panic.
Besides, Shuuji seemed a lot angrier than Chuuya was—is—, so maybe it would smooth things over if he just bit the bullet and apologized to him.
He’s not sure+
Besides, Shuuji seemed a lot angrier than Chuuya was—is—, so maybe it would smooth things over if he just bit the bullet and apologized to him.
He’s not sure+
what to say though. Everything he thinks of seems more stupid and confusing than the last, and the more he thinks about it, the more his good mood starts to fade away.
Thinking about it makes anxiety and nerves curl in his stomach, hollowing out his chest, making him feel both+
Thinking about it makes anxiety and nerves curl in his stomach, hollowing out his chest, making him feel both+
too empty and too full, a confusing mix of sensations.
Eventually he decides to let it go for a while, shutting his phone off. Maybe he’ll think of a response if he gives himself a little more time to think.
This is a time he rejoices at the fact that they have a TV in their+
Eventually he decides to let it go for a while, shutting his phone off. Maybe he’ll think of a response if he gives himself a little more time to think.
This is a time he rejoices at the fact that they have a TV in their+
room because he turns it on and starts playing a movie he’d been meaning to see for a few weeks now.
It’s a comedy, mindlessly amusing and taking Chuuya’s mind off his anxiety for a while.
Most of the way through, a knock comes at the door, jolting him back into awareness.+
It’s a comedy, mindlessly amusing and taking Chuuya’s mind off his anxiety for a while.
Most of the way through, a knock comes at the door, jolting him back into awareness.+
He’s a little confused, considering he’s not expecting anyone and Nikolai wouldn’t knock.
Maybe it’s a surprise room inspection, he reasons, sliding out of bed to open the door.
When he opens it, the /first/ thing he sees are bursting blooms of orange and white flowers.+
Maybe it’s a surprise room inspection, he reasons, sliding out of bed to open the door.
When he opens it, the /first/ thing he sees are bursting blooms of orange and white flowers.+
The second thing he sees is a boy with black hair and white tips staring at him blankly over the flowers. He does not look happy to be here at all, and it’s such a startling contrast to the beautiful flowers that Chuuya snorts on instinct.
“Hi, can I help you—?”
“Are you +
“Hi, can I help you—?”
“Are you +
Nakahara Chuuya?” The boy cuts him off, voice blank and cutting. Like Chuuya is a particularly rude customer.
“Yeah?”
The flowers get shoved at him, so harshly that Chuuya is automatically catching the case, lest they fall.
“These are for you.”
What? He didn’t order any+
“Yeah?”
The flowers get shoved at him, so harshly that Chuuya is automatically catching the case, lest they fall.
“These are for you.”
What? He didn’t order any+
flowers, and there isn’t a reason someone /else/ would order him any.
“I didn’t order any flowers though?”
The boy— Atsushi, his name tag reads though the name doesn’t seem to fit him at all— shrugs. “Okay. They’re already paid for though, and this is the address and you’re +
“I didn’t order any flowers though?”
The boy— Atsushi, his name tag reads though the name doesn’t seem to fit him at all— shrugs. “Okay. They’re already paid for though, and this is the address and you’re +
the person they’re supposed to go to, so. They’re yours.”
He starts to back off then, retreating down the hallway.
Chuuya leans out after him. “Wait, Atsushi! Who paid for them?”
The boy looks over his shoulder at him, looking unreasonably grumpy. “I’m not Atsushi; my name+
He starts to back off then, retreating down the hallway.
Chuuya leans out after him. “Wait, Atsushi! Who paid for them?”
The boy looks over his shoulder at him, looking unreasonably grumpy. “I’m not Atsushi; my name+
is Akutagawa—“ okay, how the hell was a Chuuya supposed to know that, considering he’s wearing the /wrong/ nametag, “— and the order didn’t say. There’s a card.”
Then he’s gone, thin coat flapping behind him as he speed-walks out of the hallway before Chuuya can even say his+
Then he’s gone, thin coat flapping behind him as he speed-walks out of the hallway before Chuuya can even say his+
name or a thank you.
“Jeez, what’s his problem?” He mutters to himself, retreating back into his room. He makes sure to lock the door behind him.
Placing the flowers on the desk on his side of the room, he takes a second to admire them.
It’s a pretty young bouquet, with +
“Jeez, what’s his problem?” He mutters to himself, retreating back into his room. He makes sure to lock the door behind him.
Placing the flowers on the desk on his side of the room, he takes a second to admire them.
It’s a pretty young bouquet, with +
all the blooms either freshly opened or on their way there, delicate petals soft and easy to bruise under his fingers. It’s mostly roses—orange and white— but a few tiny, star-colored flowers stick up between them,stubborn even as they seem so fragile.
He has to Google those to+
He has to Google those to+
figure out what the are:
Sun Stars. Meaning purity and happiness, commonly used in /weddings/.
Also moderately poisonous, which seems like a weird thing to have in weddings and romantic bouquets, but it’s not like he had plans to start chewing on them, so he supposes it+
Sun Stars. Meaning purity and happiness, commonly used in /weddings/.
Also moderately poisonous, which seems like a weird thing to have in weddings and romantic bouquets, but it’s not like he had plans to start chewing on them, so he supposes it+
doesn’t matter.
There /is/ a card, wedged near the bottom of the bouquet in the stems. He pulls it out carefully, not wanting to bend the card or rip the flowers—
Turns out, that was completely unnecessary, because the card is completely blank. It’s a pitch black—which seems+
There /is/ a card, wedged near the bottom of the bouquet in the stems. He pulls it out carefully, not wanting to bend the card or rip the flowers—
Turns out, that was completely unnecessary, because the card is completely blank. It’s a pitch black—which seems+
strange— and there’s not a single piece of text or writing on it at /all/.
Who would send him a bouquet with no calling card? It seems a little /ominous/, actually, like someone he doesn’t know knows where he lives.
It’s almost anxiety inducing— even as beautiful as the +
Who would send him a bouquet with no calling card? It seems a little /ominous/, actually, like someone he doesn’t know knows where he lives.
It’s almost anxiety inducing— even as beautiful as the +
flowers are and how nice they smell— because he really doesn’t know /why/ he would receive something like this for no reason, but then:
/Ding!/
An incoming text.
With the card still clutched in his hand, Chuuya grabs for his phone, opening it one-handed.
[ SHUUJI ] : yo
+
/Ding!/
An incoming text.
With the card still clutched in his hand, Chuuya grabs for his phone, opening it one-handed.
[ SHUUJI ] : yo
+
That can’t be a coincidence, right? For the flowers to arrive and Shuuji to text him soon after? Especially after being silent all morning?
It /would/ make sense, considering their argument yesterday, but Chuuya wouldn’t have expected /this/.
It’s sweet though, straight out of+
It /would/ make sense, considering their argument yesterday, but Chuuya wouldn’t have expected /this/.
It’s sweet though, straight out of+
a romance movie, and the thought that Shuuji sent him flowers because he was mad at him—
Makes him feel giddy and light, enough that instead of texting back, he just presses the call button.
The phone rings twice before Shuuji picks up, answering with a raspy, “hello?”
+
Makes him feel giddy and light, enough that instead of texting back, he just presses the call button.
The phone rings twice before Shuuji picks up, answering with a raspy, “hello?”
+
The sound of his voice, thick with sleep, makes Chuuya smile as he gently teases open one of the more stubborn buds. “Did you send me flowers?”
(On the phone, Chuuya can’t tell, but Shuuji is thinking frantically on the other side.) “Did you get some?”
“Yeah, I got them,”+
(On the phone, Chuuya can’t tell, but Shuuji is thinking frantically on the other side.) “Did you get some?”
“Yeah, I got them,”+
Chuuya sighs pleasantly, “they’re beautiful.”
There’s a rustle on the other side of the line, sounds of Shuuji shifting around. “I’m glad you like them, then.”
It’s not a /direct/ claim, but it’s a close enough confirmation that Chuuya’s chest feels full with something warm+
There’s a rustle on the other side of the line, sounds of Shuuji shifting around. “I’m glad you like them, then.”
It’s not a /direct/ claim, but it’s a close enough confirmation that Chuuya’s chest feels full with something warm+
and happy.
And because this must be an apology for the argument last night—
The next thing he says is his /own/ apology. “I’m sorry for freaking out on you last night. I really should’ve told you that I don’t like to be pinned, and it wasn’t fair of me to make you feel like+
And because this must be an apology for the argument last night—
The next thing he says is his /own/ apology. “I’m sorry for freaking out on you last night. I really should’ve told you that I don’t like to be pinned, and it wasn’t fair of me to make you feel like+
you were a bad person or something.”
(Chuuya has never actually had a problem with being pinned before. It happens semi-often in Judo, and while being half-crushed beneath his larger teammates is never /comfortable/, it doesn’t make him want to /cry/.)
Shuuji sighs. “I just+
(Chuuya has never actually had a problem with being pinned before. It happens semi-often in Judo, and while being half-crushed beneath his larger teammates is never /comfortable/, it doesn’t make him want to /cry/.)
Shuuji sighs. “I just+
wish you had /told/ me, instead of just expecting me to know.I can’t read your mind Chuuya,and I don’t know why you didn’t just speak up earlier. I’ve never hurt you, right?”
No, he hasn’t. He’s made him him uncomfortable sometimes, and pressures him, but he’s never /hurt/ him.+
No, he hasn’t. He’s made him him uncomfortable sometimes, and pressures him, but he’s never /hurt/ him.+
"No," he mutters, feeling overdramatic.
"Then why didn't you /say/ anything?"
Chuuya shifts in place, and that warm feeling in his chest is rapidly souring into something sticky and suffocating. He doesn't feel good anymore, and he doesn't want to continue this conversation, +
"Then why didn't you /say/ anything?"
Chuuya shifts in place, and that warm feeling in his chest is rapidly souring into something sticky and suffocating. He doesn't feel good anymore, and he doesn't want to continue this conversation, +
but avoiding it would just mean he hasn't learned his lesson. "You... make me feel like saying no is wrong, sometimes."
The silence is /heavy/, filling Chuuya's head with the faint, distant sound of ringing.
"I /always/ listen to you when you say no, so I don't understand why+
The silence is /heavy/, filling Chuuya's head with the faint, distant sound of ringing.
"I /always/ listen to you when you say no, so I don't understand why+
you would feel like that."
Chuuya doesn't know /either/. All he knows is that he just wants this conversation to be over. He wants to enjoy the flowers-- the first flowers he's ever gotten from a boy-- and he wants everything to be okay again.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, and he+
Chuuya doesn't know /either/. All he knows is that he just wants this conversation to be over. He wants to enjoy the flowers-- the first flowers he's ever gotten from a boy-- and he wants everything to be okay again.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, and he+
must sound really pitiful,because Shuuji is making a soft, comforting sound on the other side.
"I forgive you, darling. I just don't like feeling like you think I'm going to.... assault you or something. But it's okay, because I know you feel bad for it, and we can move on now,+
"I forgive you, darling. I just don't like feeling like you think I'm going to.... assault you or something. But it's okay, because I know you feel bad for it, and we can move on now,+
right? We don't have to keep fighting about it, right?"
Yeah... yeah, that sounds good. Then it can be over, for real.
He nods, climbing back into his bed. "Yeah, let's move on. Thank you."
Curling up with his knees tucked up against his chest, he pulls his blanket over him +
Yeah... yeah, that sounds good. Then it can be over, for real.
He nods, climbing back into his bed. "Yeah, let's move on. Thank you."
Curling up with his knees tucked up against his chest, he pulls his blanket over him +
completely, blocking out the room entirely. He suddenly feels so tired, exhaustion weighing heavy on his limbs and chest.
"You're welcome, darling. I have to go now, because I have to finish my homework, but we'll talk soon, okay?"
Chuuya makes an assenting noise, smiling just+
"You're welcome, darling. I have to go now, because I have to finish my homework, but we'll talk soon, okay?"
Chuuya makes an assenting noise, smiling just+
a little. "Okay."
They say their goodbyes before hanging up.
Chuuya stares at his phone for a moment, wondering why he feels so wrung out and dried up after just a 10 minute phonecall.
It doesn't seem right.
After a while of hiding under his blankets and soaking up the +
They say their goodbyes before hanging up.
Chuuya stares at his phone for a moment, wondering why he feels so wrung out and dried up after just a 10 minute phonecall.
It doesn't seem right.
After a while of hiding under his blankets and soaking up the +
warmth and comfort, he wanders out to take pictures of the flowers. It takes a little maneuvering to find the perfect spot for lighting, but he eventually manages to take a really good picture.
He posts it to his Instagram, with the only caption being '🖤🖤 ' -- because he +
He posts it to his Instagram, with the only caption being '🖤🖤 ' -- because he +
doesn't want to explain why he got flowers to his sisters.
Shuuji likes it near instantly, which makes him smile.
(Across the city, Dazai leans up against a wall, smiling gently when he sees Chuuya's new post -- okay, /fine/, he's a little bit obsessed, but he's not going to +
Shuuji likes it near instantly, which makes him smile.
(Across the city, Dazai leans up against a wall, smiling gently when he sees Chuuya's new post -- okay, /fine/, he's a little bit obsessed, but he's not going to +
/do/ anything with this information, and the selfie Chuuya posted a few weeks ago with his blue eyes lit by the sun and his hair a fiery mess behind him is too beautiful /not/ to look at.
Job well done, he praises himself, then shuts off his phone.
Back to work.)
---- +
Job well done, he praises himself, then shuts off his phone.
Back to work.)
---- +
Somehow, the second week of school is even harder than the first. Confident that their students can handle the workload, all the professors pile on the homework without remorse.
Chuuya ends up spending almost all of the time he's not in class in the library, frantically trying +
Chuuya ends up spending almost all of the time he's not in class in the library, frantically trying +
to keep up with the workload. He barely even feels like he's learning, he just feels like he's memorizing information for his upcoming quizzes and then forgetting the information just as quickly.
How Nikolai still seems so perky /and/ manages to keep up with his classes when he+
How Nikolai still seems so perky /and/ manages to keep up with his classes when he+
works a decent amount and is only taking 1 class less than Chuuya, he will never know. He feels like he's wrung out and his head aches by the time the library closes every night. He barely even has enough energy to eat dinner in the cafeteria before passing out in his bed.
He+
He+
spends a decent amount of time building a Snapchat streak with Yuan between tackling calculus problems in study sessions.
Shuuji he sees less, and it’s a bit tense and awkward at first, but after the first meet up for coffee goes pretty well, things start to settle back into+
Shuuji he sees less, and it’s a bit tense and awkward at first, but after the first meet up for coffee goes pretty well, things start to settle back into+
their usual rhythm.
He /does/ notice that Shuuji doesn’t pin him up against walls nearly as often, and most of the time when he does, it seems more of an accident than on purpose. He’s taken to grabbing Chuuya by his chin, which is less restraining and more comfortable than +
He /does/ notice that Shuuji doesn’t pin him up against walls nearly as often, and most of the time when he does, it seems more of an accident than on purpose. He’s taken to grabbing Chuuya by his chin, which is less restraining and more comfortable than +
bodily being pinned.
However, it /is/ a little annoying because now Chuuya has small bruises on his face from how hard Shuuji is gripping him, and he’s getting tired of using up all his foundation to cover up the dark spots so no one asks any weird questions.
Chuuya spends the+
However, it /is/ a little annoying because now Chuuya has small bruises on his face from how hard Shuuji is gripping him, and he’s getting tired of using up all his foundation to cover up the dark spots so no one asks any weird questions.
Chuuya spends the+
entire week trying not to think about Dazai. His shirt gets stuffed underneath his pillow— so he doesn’t have to explain to Nikolai where it came from— and more often than not, his dreams usually feature some aspects of deep, bottomless caramel eyes, gentle hands big enough to+
cradle his entire skull, a wicked playful grin that invites him in and dares him to go further.
His unconscious brain is a lost cause, but he deliberately does /not/ think about him during his waking hours. Not once, not at all.
(Maybe a whole fucking lot, which he does feel+
His unconscious brain is a lost cause, but he deliberately does /not/ think about him during his waking hours. Not once, not at all.
(Maybe a whole fucking lot, which he does feel+
incredibly guilty for, because things with Shuuji feel like they're /finally/ going in a good direction. They're getting along, Chuuya is liking the kissing more.
The word 'boyfriend' doesn't once come out Shuuji's mouth, but Chuuya feels like they're getting there, slowly but +
The word 'boyfriend' doesn't once come out Shuuji's mouth, but Chuuya feels like they're getting there, slowly but +
surely.
Maybe if Shuuji doesn't ask him to be his boyfriend first, he'll take the leap of faith and ask /him/?)
Shuuji suggests another dinner at his house the following weekend, but Chuuya ends up having to re-do most of one his assignments for his physics class, so he ends+
Maybe if Shuuji doesn't ask him to be his boyfriend first, he'll take the leap of faith and ask /him/?)
Shuuji suggests another dinner at his house the following weekend, but Chuuya ends up having to re-do most of one his assignments for his physics class, so he ends+
up having to beg off so he can catch up on his work.
(And it does feel a little like begging, because Shuuji is pretty grumpy and upset about it. Chuuya's apology ends up with him squashed against the door of his car, trying desperately to keep up with the kiss Shuuji is giving+
(And it does feel a little like begging, because Shuuji is pretty grumpy and upset about it. Chuuya's apology ends up with him squashed against the door of his car, trying desperately to keep up with the kiss Shuuji is giving+
him.)
The /next/ weekend though.... he's free, and Shuuji is even /more/ eager to have him over.
Chuuya agrees, naturally, because he wants to spend time with him, and it's always a treat to see Yoko-- he's been going over every single picture of her he has and honestly has +
The /next/ weekend though.... he's free, and Shuuji is even /more/ eager to have him over.
Chuuya agrees, naturally, because he wants to spend time with him, and it's always a treat to see Yoko-- he's been going over every single picture of her he has and honestly has +
considering asking for Dazai's number /just/ so he can get more pictures because Shuuji refuses to take any for him-- but he's starting to wonder.
Don't people who are dating go out on /actual/ dates? Go out to dinner, or the movies, or the mall? Go out in public together and +
Don't people who are dating go out on /actual/ dates? Go out to dinner, or the movies, or the mall? Go out in public together and +
have fun?
Shuuji's house is like a hotel in itself, but Chuuya would /love/ to go out to a restaurant to eat, and not just bring takeout to eat on the couch.
But he agrees, and Shuuji picks him up earlier on Sunday afternoon, since Chuuya worked his ass off to finish all his +
Shuuji's house is like a hotel in itself, but Chuuya would /love/ to go out to a restaurant to eat, and not just bring takeout to eat on the couch.
But he agrees, and Shuuji picks him up earlier on Sunday afternoon, since Chuuya worked his ass off to finish all his +
work the day before. His mind still feels a little melty from the information overload, but relaxing with Shuuji will probably fix that.
Yoko greets him at the door, prancing in place with her tail waving. He stops to say hello, letting Kozo sniff him up and down as Yoko flops+
Yoko greets him at the door, prancing in place with her tail waving. He stops to say hello, letting Kozo sniff him up and down as Yoko flops+
over onto her bag to beg for belly scratches.
Shuuji,of course, edges out of the doorway carefully, which Chuuya /shouldn't/ think is funny,but the fact that he's so terrified of a dog who is currently upside down with her face in a stupid and adorable doggy grin--
It's funny.+
Shuuji,of course, edges out of the doorway carefully, which Chuuya /shouldn't/ think is funny,but the fact that he's so terrified of a dog who is currently upside down with her face in a stupid and adorable doggy grin--
It's funny.+
He also can't help but look around, because if the dogs are out--
That means Dazai is home, right? Shuuji usually locks them up when he's alone so...
"Is your dad home?" he asks, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. His heartrate has picked up just from the /idea/+
That means Dazai is home, right? Shuuji usually locks them up when he's alone so...
"Is your dad home?" he asks, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. His heartrate has picked up just from the /idea/+
of seeing him again,and the remnants of what he felt the /last/ time they were together begins to pool in his stomach.
Shuuji shrugs, kicking off his shoes. "Yeah, but he's busy with some business deal or something. He's been locked in his office all day on a call with someone.+
Shuuji shrugs, kicking off his shoes. "Yeah, but he's busy with some business deal or something. He's been locked in his office all day on a call with someone.+
He told me to order dinner, so I'm guessing he'll be busy most of the day."
Damn. That does /not/ send a pang of disappoint through Chuuya.
This time, instead of going into the living room, Shuuji leads the way up the stairs, heading for his room.
Yoko and Kozo mind their +
Damn. That does /not/ send a pang of disappoint through Chuuya.
This time, instead of going into the living room, Shuuji leads the way up the stairs, heading for his room.
Yoko and Kozo mind their +
manners on the stairs, as always, but they do give Chuuya twin pitiful looks of betrayal when Shuuji ushers him into his room and promptly shuts the door after them,locking them out.
For the first time, Chuuya is shut in Shuuji's room with him, completely alone.
The air feels+
For the first time, Chuuya is shut in Shuuji's room with him, completely alone.
The air feels+
thick, soupy with the sudden realization.
Nothing happens immediately though. Shuuji turns on his computer, sitting at his desk. He fiddles with some wires, connecting his computer to the TV hanging above it.
There's no where else to sit, so Chuuya sits on the bed, pulling his+
Nothing happens immediately though. Shuuji turns on his computer, sitting at his desk. He fiddles with some wires, connecting his computer to the TV hanging above it.
There's no where else to sit, so Chuuya sits on the bed, pulling his+
legs up with him.
He watches with faint interest as Shuuji starts up some game on his computer, which gets translated onto the bigger TV screen. He exits out of the loading screen too quickly for Chuuya to catch the name, but it seems like some first-person shooter game.
Then+
He watches with faint interest as Shuuji starts up some game on his computer, which gets translated onto the bigger TV screen. He exits out of the loading screen too quickly for Chuuya to catch the name, but it seems like some first-person shooter game.
Then+
he's flinching backwards, startled, as Shuuji throws himself on the bed next to Chuuya with a controller in hand.
He pats the space next to him, and Chuuya hesitantly scoots back, because he's not really sure what's going on.
Is he going to just sit here and watch him play+
He pats the space next to him, and Chuuya hesitantly scoots back, because he's not really sure what's going on.
Is he going to just sit here and watch him play+
his game? He's not entirely opposed to it-- he watches game playthroughs on Youtube just like everyone else-- but it's /not/ his idea of a 'date'. It seems boring, and doesn't include him.
Shuuji pulls him against his shoulder, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and grabbing+
Shuuji pulls him against his shoulder, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and grabbing+
the controller in front of him.
"This is one of my favorite games," he says, smashing a few buttons on his controller to start the game.
Chuuya's right; it is boring. Mostly because he doesn't really understand what's going on in the game and Shuuji dies too often for him to+
"This is one of my favorite games," he says, smashing a few buttons on his controller to start the game.
Chuuya's right; it is boring. Mostly because he doesn't really understand what's going on in the game and Shuuji dies too often for him to+
really figure it out. He also curses a /lot/ and his yelling next to Chuuya's ear makes him grimace.
"Wanna play?" Shuuji asks,and then promptly places the controller in his hands without waiting for a response.
He gives him a brief tutorial, which doesn't explain much as all,+
"Wanna play?" Shuuji asks,and then promptly places the controller in his hands without waiting for a response.
He gives him a brief tutorial, which doesn't explain much as all,+
but it's enough to get him started. The rest of the people in the game don't give him an ounce of mercy, targeting him because he's easy to kill.
Shuuji's huff of amusement whenever Chuuya dies ignites the competitive streak in him, and the game is /on/. If he wants to hold his+
Shuuji's huff of amusement whenever Chuuya dies ignites the competitive streak in him, and the game is /on/. If he wants to hold his+
shitty kill streaks over Chuuya's head when he's never played this game before, and not many games at all--
Then he's going to make him /work/ for it.
He survives the next round longer, and manages to take down three people before he gets sniped from behind.
The round after,+
Then he's going to make him /work/ for it.
He survives the next round longer, and manages to take down three people before he gets sniped from behind.
The round after,+
he's one of the last four people left alive.
Shuuji doesn't seem so /smug/ now, Chuuya thinks to himself, pressing the button to start the next round.
This one he /wins/, and he turns to Shuuji with a self-satisfied 'what now?' smile, waiting to hear that little amused huff +
Shuuji doesn't seem so /smug/ now, Chuuya thinks to himself, pressing the button to start the next round.
This one he /wins/, and he turns to Shuuji with a self-satisfied 'what now?' smile, waiting to hear that little amused huff +
again.
Shuuji scowls at him lightly, nose wrinkled with something that looks like distaste. "Beginners luck," he scoffs, pulling the controller out of his hands and tossing it to the edge of the bed.
Chuuya opens his mouth to fire back something about /skill/, when Shuuji is +
Shuuji scowls at him lightly, nose wrinkled with something that looks like distaste. "Beginners luck," he scoffs, pulling the controller out of his hands and tossing it to the edge of the bed.
Chuuya opens his mouth to fire back something about /skill/, when Shuuji is +
reeling him in with a hand on his cheek, pulling him into a kiss.
It's a bit sudden, but nothing /bad/, considering that they're both still sitting upright. Truthfully, it's more entertaining than watching Shuuji die repeatedly on TV-- and the game was boring, so he's already+
It's a bit sudden, but nothing /bad/, considering that they're both still sitting upright. Truthfully, it's more entertaining than watching Shuuji die repeatedly on TV-- and the game was boring, so he's already+
over playing it-- so he lets himself lean into it, resting his weight over Shuuji.
Shuuji bends underneath it, falling backwards to lay down and dragging Chuuya with him.
He makes a startled noise, hands flying out to catch up as he somehow ends up half-laying on Shuuji, one+
Shuuji bends underneath it, falling backwards to lay down and dragging Chuuya with him.
He makes a startled noise, hands flying out to catch up as he somehow ends up half-laying on Shuuji, one+
thigh wedged between Shuuji's and--
That's when it feels it.
Logically, he /knew/ that they would progress to this someday, and it's not like Chuuya hasn't fantasized about a hard dick pressed up against him (in Dazai's case, he's imagined it a /lot/) but this somehow feels+
That's when it feels it.
Logically, he /knew/ that they would progress to this someday, and it's not like Chuuya hasn't fantasized about a hard dick pressed up against him (in Dazai's case, he's imagined it a /lot/) but this somehow feels+
underwhelming and strange in equal parts, because they've only been kissing for a /minute/ max, and Chuuya is barely even feeling warm.
A tongue pushes roughly into his mouth, mapping the points of his teeth as one of Shuuji's hands slides into his hair, holding him in place.+
A tongue pushes roughly into his mouth, mapping the points of his teeth as one of Shuuji's hands slides into his hair, holding him in place.+
His other hand finds his hip, pushing him down hard as he grinds up and--
Oh. Well. Alright.
He's not nearly as into it as Shuuji is, based on the way he's panting into his mouth, and it doesn't feel /great/ because he's not even warmed up, but it's not--
It's not /terrible/.+
Oh. Well. Alright.
He's not nearly as into it as Shuuji is, based on the way he's panting into his mouth, and it doesn't feel /great/ because he's not even warmed up, but it's not--
It's not /terrible/.+
It could be good, even, once he gets a little more into it.
He kisses back, focusing on their mouths as Shuuji ruts against him, trying to lose himself into the feeling of friction and movement.
Finally, when the kissing has devolved into something messy and sloppy, Chuuya +
He kisses back, focusing on their mouths as Shuuji ruts against him, trying to lose himself into the feeling of friction and movement.
Finally, when the kissing has devolved into something messy and sloppy, Chuuya +
/finally/ starts to feel a grain of heat curling through him, his dick finally starting to twitch in his pants and god, he was really worried that he wasn't going to respond at /all/, but its okay now, he's getting into it--
Naturally, that's when it's all over.
Shuuji sinks+
Naturally, that's when it's all over.
Shuuji sinks+
his teeth /hard/ into his lip, and Chuuya is letting out a pained noise, hips jerking as he instinctively fights to free himself--
And Shuuji is letting out a loud, high-pitched noise against him, shuddering underneath him in short, intense waves.
Is he--
Chuuya feels a burst+
And Shuuji is letting out a loud, high-pitched noise against him, shuddering underneath him in short, intense waves.
Is he--
Chuuya feels a burst+
of warmth against his crotch, growing damper the longer he's pressed against it.
Oh god, he /did/.
Chuuya is /barely/ even half-hard, and Shuuji just came in his pants, just from a little making out and half-hearted making out.
That's so /embarrassing/.
Shuuji doesn't seem+
Oh god, he /did/.
Chuuya is /barely/ even half-hard, and Shuuji just came in his pants, just from a little making out and half-hearted making out.
That's so /embarrassing/.
Shuuji doesn't seem+
to think so, because he's smiling dazedly up at him.
It's a good thing that Chuuya was just getting into it, because this is like a glass of cold water over his head.
He rolls over onto his back,wiping his hands down his face. Wow. That was...
Something. That was /something/.+
It's a good thing that Chuuya was just getting into it, because this is like a glass of cold water over his head.
He rolls over onto his back,wiping his hands down his face. Wow. That was...
Something. That was /something/.+
He felt more sexual tension when Dazai was handing him a glass of /wine/, and he honestly can't tell if that's because he's got some weird obsession with the man, or if he's /actually/ meant to be orgasming with 10 minutes of messy grinding.
Ugh.
He sits up, swinging his legs+
Ugh.
He sits up, swinging his legs+
over the edge of the bed. "I'm gonna go clean up," he mutters, standing up.
Not that he needs to. He wasn't hard enough to even start leaking, and his pants don't have anything on them from Shuuji, but he feels like he just needs to..
Stare at himself in the mirror and think+
Not that he needs to. He wasn't hard enough to even start leaking, and his pants don't have anything on them from Shuuji, but he feels like he just needs to..
Stare at himself in the mirror and think+
for a moment. Contemplate.
Shuuji doesn't stop him, and Chuuya has the /decency/ to open the door as little as possible to keep Shuuji from being seen as he slips out.
Yoko is waiting outside for him, head on her paws and eyes locked loyally on the door, waiting for a hint of +
Shuuji doesn't stop him, and Chuuya has the /decency/ to open the door as little as possible to keep Shuuji from being seen as he slips out.
Yoko is waiting outside for him, head on her paws and eyes locked loyally on the door, waiting for a hint of +
movement. When she sees him come out, she's immediately perking up, tail thumping against the wall.
The wall of Dazai's /office/, so he draws her away quietly, not wanting to disturb what is apparently a very long and important business call.
Out of curiosity, he pauses +
The wall of Dazai's /office/, so he draws her away quietly, not wanting to disturb what is apparently a very long and important business call.
Out of curiosity, he pauses +
outside the door, leaning his head in to see if he can hear anything--
If he listens very, /very/ hard, he can hear the harsh, slurred noises of a /different/ foreign language. How many languages does that man speak?
It /is/ kind of hot though, and his mind immediately flashes+
If he listens very, /very/ hard, he can hear the harsh, slurred noises of a /different/ foreign language. How many languages does that man speak?
It /is/ kind of hot though, and his mind immediately flashes+
to a scene like in the kitchen yesterday, which him smirking and shirt unbuttoned, except /this/ time, he's speaking in some other language, voice low and raspy as he murmurs to Chuuya.
Heat, much more potent and urgent than anything he has feeling in Shuuji's room, flashes +
Heat, much more potent and urgent than anything he has feeling in Shuuji's room, flashes +
through him, like a bolt of lightning.
/Why/?Why can't he feel like this for /Shuuji/? He'd probably come in ten minutes too if he felt like /this/ around him!
He heads downstairs to the spare bathroom, distantly mourning the fact that he doesn't get to use Dazai's /gorgeous/+
/Why/?Why can't he feel like this for /Shuuji/? He'd probably come in ten minutes too if he felt like /this/ around him!
He heads downstairs to the spare bathroom, distantly mourning the fact that he doesn't get to use Dazai's /gorgeous/+
bathroom again. The downstairs one is nice, but nothing compared to the masterpiece that is Dazai's bathroom.
He even lets Yoko come in with him as he enters, locking the door behind him. She watches him intently as he turns the faucet on and cups water in his palms, rinsing +
He even lets Yoko come in with him as he enters, locking the door behind him. She watches him intently as he turns the faucet on and cups water in his palms, rinsing +
off his face.
After a few splashes, he braces his hands on the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. His hair, which was nicely curled before, is now a bit of a mess. He wasn't wearing makeup today, so he doesn't have to worry about smears over his face.
But..
With a sigh,+
After a few splashes, he braces his hands on the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. His hair, which was nicely curled before, is now a bit of a mess. He wasn't wearing makeup today, so he doesn't have to worry about smears over his face.
But..
With a sigh,+
he looks down his body, at the distinct lack of tent in his pants. He doesn't even feel any tension, just a complete lack of interest.
Why is this so hard for him? Isn't he supposed to be falling all over himself to get even a taste of sexual relief with Shuuji?
Instead, all+
Why is this so hard for him? Isn't he supposed to be falling all over himself to get even a taste of sexual relief with Shuuji?
Instead, all+
his dick seems to be interested in is his /dad/, who, mind you, hasn't done anything to him beyond /grabbing his ankle/.
God, he's such a mess.
"What's wrong with me, Yoko?" he mutters.
The dog in question merely wags her tail, head tilting as if to say 'a lot of things. What+
God, he's such a mess.
"What's wrong with me, Yoko?" he mutters.
The dog in question merely wags her tail, head tilting as if to say 'a lot of things. What+
would you like to talk about first?'.
After that, he can't keep stalling, so he heads back upstairs, half-dreading and half-curious as to what image he's going to be greeted with when he re-enters Shuuji's room.
Turns out, it's just Shuuji in a different pair of pants--Chuuya +
After that, he can't keep stalling, so he heads back upstairs, half-dreading and half-curious as to what image he's going to be greeted with when he re-enters Shuuji's room.
Turns out, it's just Shuuji in a different pair of pants--Chuuya +
tries not to notice the dirty pants very obviously in the hamper, but he swears to god that wet spot is staring at him-- and stretched out across his bed, lazily cruising through the TV channels as he searches for something to watch.
When he notices Chuuya, he gestures with his+
When he notices Chuuya, he gestures with his+
arm, beckoning him over.
Yoko whines when he shuts her out again, but Shuuji has been very clear that the dogs are not allowed in his room.
Chuuya slides onto the bed, yelping when Shuuji grabs him by the arm and reels him in.He ends up squished against Shuuji's side, his head+
Yoko whines when he shuts her out again, but Shuuji has been very clear that the dogs are not allowed in his room.
Chuuya slides onto the bed, yelping when Shuuji grabs him by the arm and reels him in.He ends up squished against Shuuji's side, his head+
forcibly pulled down to rest on his shoulder.
Then, without an /ounce/ of shame: "Was it good for you?"
Honestly, he's glad Shuuji can't see his face from this angle, because he can't help the disbelieving expression he gets, staring at the wall like he's in agony. How does he+
Then, without an /ounce/ of shame: "Was it good for you?"
Honestly, he's glad Shuuji can't see his face from this angle, because he can't help the disbelieving expression he gets, staring at the wall like he's in agony. How does he+
even respond to that?
"Yeah. It was..." he trails off, trying to think of an adjective that isn't underwhelming or awkward and /weird/. "...nice," he settles on lamely, hoping Shuuji doesn't question it.
He doesn't, because he's too busy starting the movie and looking pleased+
"Yeah. It was..." he trails off, trying to think of an adjective that isn't underwhelming or awkward and /weird/. "...nice," he settles on lamely, hoping Shuuji doesn't question it.
He doesn't, because he's too busy starting the movie and looking pleased+
with himself.
The man doesn't even make it twenty minutes before he's asleep, snoring away loudly in Chuuya's hair. Talk about underwhelming.
Eventually, he can't stand whatever stupid movie Shuuji put on. He wiggles out of his grip slowly, freezing when his snores skip a beat+
The man doesn't even make it twenty minutes before he's asleep, snoring away loudly in Chuuya's hair. Talk about underwhelming.
Eventually, he can't stand whatever stupid movie Shuuji put on. He wiggles out of his grip slowly, freezing when his snores skip a beat+
before settling back into their rhythm. He turns over in his sleep, facing the other direction.
Letting out a breath of relief, Chuuya slips out of the room again.
This time, Yoko isn't waiting for him in the hallway, which is so strange that he stands there for a moment, +
Letting out a breath of relief, Chuuya slips out of the room again.
This time, Yoko isn't waiting for him in the hallway, which is so strange that he stands there for a moment, +
wondering where the hell she is. She /always/ waits for him, and even though she isn't /his/ dog, he's come to expect and anticipate a giant furry body getting underneath his feet at all times of the day.
Dazai's office door is still closed when he passes, but when he leans in +
Dazai's office door is still closed when he passes, but when he leans in +
to listen again--
Silence.
Slowly, he makes his way downstairs, feeling on edge. He keeps waiting for the dogs to come bursting out to greet him, or appear at the bottom of the stairs--
But they don't. They're not in the living room either, and Chuuya actually takes a detour+
Silence.
Slowly, he makes his way downstairs, feeling on edge. He keeps waiting for the dogs to come bursting out to greet him, or appear at the bottom of the stairs--
But they don't. They're not in the living room either, and Chuuya actually takes a detour+
to the kennel room to see if they're in there--
Nope. Both the kennels are empty.
The garage door is locked when he tries it, and when he wanders out to the kitchen, no one is in there.
Honestly, it just looks like they disappeared--
But then he hears a heavy /thump/ coming+
Nope. Both the kennels are empty.
The garage door is locked when he tries it, and when he wanders out to the kitchen, no one is in there.
Honestly, it just looks like they disappeared--
But then he hears a heavy /thump/ coming+
from the backyard, and the curtains over the door aren't the way they were before--
Drawn like a moth to a flame, Chuuya approaches, holding his breath as the anticipation builds, wondering what he's going to see out there--
When he peeks through the door, the first thing he +
Drawn like a moth to a flame, Chuuya approaches, holding his breath as the anticipation builds, wondering what he's going to see out there--
When he peeks through the door, the first thing he +
sees is /Dazai/.
Standing tall in the middle of the yard, shirt sleeves once again rolled up to reveal his forearms. He's cocking his arm back, shoulder rippling as he winds up and /chucks/ a ball with an impressive amount of force to the other side of the yard.
The dogs go+
Standing tall in the middle of the yard, shirt sleeves once again rolled up to reveal his forearms. He's cocking his arm back, shoulder rippling as he winds up and /chucks/ a ball with an impressive amount of force to the other side of the yard.
The dogs go+
streaking past as they chase after, coming back a moment later. Yoko has the ball in her mouth while Kozo is nipping at her legs and mouth, trying to steal it from her.
She hands off the ball to Dazai, hopping excitedly at his feet as he winds up again.
He throws the ball,+
She hands off the ball to Dazai, hopping excitedly at his feet as he winds up again.
He throws the ball,+
with so much force that Chuuya can /see/ it.
A heartbeat later the /thump!/ comes again, and he realizes: Dazai is throwing the ball so /hard/ that it’s rattling the back fence when it hits.
Dear /god/. How much power does that man /have/?
Mesmerized, he steps outside, +
A heartbeat later the /thump!/ comes again, and he realizes: Dazai is throwing the ball so /hard/ that it’s rattling the back fence when it hits.
Dear /god/. How much power does that man /have/?
Mesmerized, he steps outside, +
drawn in by the force he exudes, the power radiating off him effortlessly.
Another throw, the rattle of the fence again. The dogs racing past, the heavy pant of their breaths.
A snarl from Dazai as he says something again in another language, speaking into the Bluetooth+
Another throw, the rattle of the fence again. The dogs racing past, the heavy pant of their breaths.
A snarl from Dazai as he says something again in another language, speaking into the Bluetooth+
hidden in his ear.
A pause as the person responds on the other line, then Dazai’s face twists with rage and disbelief, teeth flashing, and his /anger/ shouldn’t be so hot, it shouldn’t make Chuuya want to bend over or give into him—
He takes another stumbling step, feet +
A pause as the person responds on the other line, then Dazai’s face twists with rage and disbelief, teeth flashing, and his /anger/ shouldn’t be so hot, it shouldn’t make Chuuya want to bend over or give into him—
He takes another stumbling step, feet +
loud on the deck—
A burning gaze snaps to him, immediately pinning him in place.
The air grows thin between them, drawing tight with tension, superheating so quickly Chuuya feels like he’s /boiling/, a flash fire sun between them and setting him ablaze.
The moment lasts +
A burning gaze snaps to him, immediately pinning him in place.
The air grows thin between them, drawing tight with tension, superheating so quickly Chuuya feels like he’s /boiling/, a flash fire sun between them and setting him ablaze.
The moment lasts +
forever, time stretching sweetly elastic between them, like taffy about to break under its own weight—
Then Dazai is reaching up, eyes unwavering as he touches his ear. He murmurs something too low to hear before pressing hard on the Bluetooth. Hanging up.
To Chuuya, louder,+
Then Dazai is reaching up, eyes unwavering as he touches his ear. He murmurs something too low to hear before pressing hard on the Bluetooth. Hanging up.
To Chuuya, louder,+
he says: “I didn’t know you were here.”
That seems pretty rude of Shuuji not to tell him, considering that they’ve had these plans for a few days, definitely long enough for him to tell his dad, but honestly, Chuuya is still trying to restart his brain, staring wide-eyed at +
That seems pretty rude of Shuuji not to tell him, considering that they’ve had these plans for a few days, definitely long enough for him to tell his dad, but honestly, Chuuya is still trying to restart his brain, staring wide-eyed at +
him.
Dazai seems to take that as a sign of something /else/, because his mouth is turning down with remorse, expression souring with regret. He looks away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry you had to see that.”
See what? See him throwing the ball like a +
Dazai seems to take that as a sign of something /else/, because his mouth is turning down with remorse, expression souring with regret. He looks away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry you had to see that.”
See what? See him throwing the ball like a +
professional baseball player? See him snarling at someone like some sort of wild, sexy beast? See him get—
Oh.
He didn’t want Chuuya to see him /angry/.
That’s...shockingly sweet and touching. It’s like he /cares/ what Chuuya thinks about him, cares about making him feel +
Oh.
He didn’t want Chuuya to see him /angry/.
That’s...shockingly sweet and touching. It’s like he /cares/ what Chuuya thinks about him, cares about making him feel +
safe and secure.
(It’s sweet, but unnecessary, and it only makes Chuuya wonder how much Dazai is holding /back/.
And what it’d take to make him /lose/ that control.)
He shrugs, stepping forward and offering him a small, reassuring smile. “It’s nothing. It seemed like +
(It’s sweet, but unnecessary, and it only makes Chuuya wonder how much Dazai is holding /back/.
And what it’d take to make him /lose/ that control.)
He shrugs, stepping forward and offering him a small, reassuring smile. “It’s nothing. It seemed like +
you weren’t very happy with whoever you were speaking with.”
Dazai turns to look at him, expression melting into something softer and more grateful. “It’s...” he trails off, and Chuuya finds himself breathless, waiting to see if Dazai will let him in, give him an opening, +
Dazai turns to look at him, expression melting into something softer and more grateful. “It’s...” he trails off, and Chuuya finds himself breathless, waiting to see if Dazai will let him in, give him an opening, +
finally offer something about himself.
He releases a heavy sigh, borrowing Chuuya’s line from earlier. “It’s nothing.”
God /dammit/. Why won’t he tell Chuuya anything? Shuuji talks to so much Chuuya practically knows what he had for breakfast last week, but Dazai?
Not at+
He releases a heavy sigh, borrowing Chuuya’s line from earlier. “It’s nothing.”
God /dammit/. Why won’t he tell Chuuya anything? Shuuji talks to so much Chuuya practically knows what he had for breakfast last week, but Dazai?
Not at+
all. The man is surprisingly tight-lipped, and annoyingly mysterious. The most Chuuya knows about him is what he’s heard from Chuuya, and the fact that he doesn’t like pancakes.
It’s attractive, in a mysterious, dangerous sort of way but—
Chuuya wants to know /more/. Wants+
It’s attractive, in a mysterious, dangerous sort of way but—
Chuuya wants to know /more/. Wants+
to know what kind of food he likes. What he does in his spare time. What he does for /work/. Where he grew up.
(What he kisses like.)
God, Chuuya just wants to know everything about him, with a desperate fascination. He just—
He just wants to /know/ him.
But every time he+
(What he kisses like.)
God, Chuuya just wants to know everything about him, with a desperate fascination. He just—
He just wants to /know/ him.
But every time he+
seems to be getting closer, or that Dazai is going to offer him something—
He backtracks. It’s so frustrating. It’s /teasing/, stirring Chuuya’s desire for more just to leave him hanging.
“Are you alright?” He asks, blowing out a breath in frustration.
The smile he gets +
He backtracks. It’s so frustrating. It’s /teasing/, stirring Chuuya’s desire for more just to leave him hanging.
“Are you alright?” He asks, blowing out a breath in frustration.
The smile he gets +
looks like it’s full of secrets. “Better now, doll.”
Sometime during the conversation, Chuuya had gotten closer, so close that now he’s staring up at Dazai, miles of hard muscle and soft skin just inches away, brown eyes drawing him in, urging him closer.
And that’s the /best/+
Sometime during the conversation, Chuuya had gotten closer, so close that now he’s staring up at Dazai, miles of hard muscle and soft skin just inches away, brown eyes drawing him in, urging him closer.
And that’s the /best/+
thing about Dazai, because he doesn’t /push/, he doesn’t /pull/, he lets him set the boundaries and /then/ he meets him halfway and escalates it.
It’s not pressure. It’s /encouragement/.
And the way he’s staring down at him now, a tiny, indulgent smile on his face as he +
It’s not pressure. It’s /encouragement/.
And the way he’s staring down at him now, a tiny, indulgent smile on his face as he +
reaches out to brush a strand of hair from his forehead, tucking it behind his ear, rough fingertips brushing gently over his jaw and the curve of his neck—
It’s encouragement.
The frustration Chuuya felt earlier, from the cut-off grinding, roars back full force, gathering+
It’s encouragement.
The frustration Chuuya felt earlier, from the cut-off grinding, roars back full force, gathering+
in his lungs until he can’t take a breath that smells like smoke and Dazai, head spinning with it.
He wants, he /wants/, and if he asks, maybe Dazai will give it to /him/, please, /please/ just take care of him—
“Do you have something to say?”
Yes, yes, he does, he’s +
He wants, he /wants/, and if he asks, maybe Dazai will give it to /him/, please, /please/ just take care of him—
“Do you have something to say?”
Yes, yes, he does, he’s +
opening his mouth, he’s going to /ask/ him—
A phone rings, breaking the moment completely.
Dazai looks almost as disappointed as Chuuya suddenly feels, fishing his phone out of his pocket.
He checks the screen and lets out an aggrieved sigh. “I’m sorry— I should probably+
A phone rings, breaking the moment completely.
Dazai looks almost as disappointed as Chuuya suddenly feels, fishing his phone out of his pocket.
He checks the screen and lets out an aggrieved sigh. “I’m sorry— I should probably+
take this.Unless you needed something..?”
Well, /yes/, but now that the moment is shattered, he’s lost the courage to /ask/.
And he doesn’t particularly want to be kissed while his phone rings off the hook.
And it was a lapse of judgement. He shouldn’t kiss Dazai. It’s wrong.+
Well, /yes/, but now that the moment is shattered, he’s lost the courage to /ask/.
And he doesn’t particularly want to be kissed while his phone rings off the hook.
And it was a lapse of judgement. He shouldn’t kiss Dazai. It’s wrong.+
Even if Shuuji and him aren’t /boyfriends/, he still owes him some loyalty, right? Chuuya would be incredibly hurt if he found out Shuuji was sneaking around with someone else.
It was just a lapse in judgement.
“No,” he mutters, taking a step back so he can finally breath some+
It was just a lapse in judgement.
“No,” he mutters, taking a step back so he can finally breath some+
cooler air, “I don’t need anything.”
Dazai stares at him for a long moment, like he doesn’t believe him and he’s giving him another chance to change his mind. Then he huffs out a breath, “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
Chuuya watches him walk+
Dazai stares at him for a long moment, like he doesn’t believe him and he’s giving him another chance to change his mind. Then he huffs out a breath, “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
Chuuya watches him walk+
away with his phone pressed to his ear, feeling a profound sense of loss.
He /does/ know where to find him—
And maybe that’s the /problem/.
————— +
The week after is the lead up to midterms, and Chuuya is going /insane/. There’s so much he needs to know, needs to /finish/+
He /does/ know where to find him—
And maybe that’s the /problem/.
————— +
The week after is the lead up to midterms, and Chuuya is going /insane/. There’s so much he needs to know, needs to /finish/+
and only so much time to do it in. Every time he finishes one thing, another two assignments pop up, needing urgently to be finished.
He’s so busy that he doesn’t think of Dazai at /all/, because the rare times he’s not studying, he’s sleeping.
(And god, his dreams have +
He’s so busy that he doesn’t think of Dazai at /all/, because the rare times he’s not studying, he’s sleeping.
(And god, his dreams have +
taken a /hot/ turn, almost every single one of them featuring large hands and a burning gaze, all heat and pressure, electricity in this veins.)
He rarely sees Shuuji, because he has midterms too, and their texts have fallen off a bit. Chuuya would be disappointed in how much+
He rarely sees Shuuji, because he has midterms too, and their texts have fallen off a bit. Chuuya would be disappointed in how much+
they’ve backslid from their progress—
But like he said: incredibly busy.
There /are/ parties after midterms, to celebrate surviving (not passing because a /decent/ amount of people don’t pass) that part of the semester. It’s supposed to be a rager; everyone is invited to at+
But like he said: incredibly busy.
There /are/ parties after midterms, to celebrate surviving (not passing because a /decent/ amount of people don’t pass) that part of the semester. It’s supposed to be a rager; everyone is invited to at+
least one.
Shuuji said one of his /other/ friends, someone that goes to Tokyo, has his parents house for the weekend, and the party is going to be /wild/. Also probably the most luxurious one Chuuya will ever attend, because /that/ friend is even better well-off than +
Shuuji said one of his /other/ friends, someone that goes to Tokyo, has his parents house for the weekend, and the party is going to be /wild/. Also probably the most luxurious one Chuuya will ever attend, because /that/ friend is even better well-off than +
Shuuji is.
It’s also exciting because this is the /first/ time he’s been invited out in public with Shuuji.
Maybe it’s not /exactly/ a date, but it’s close, right? They’ll be together and people will know they’re together, and they’ll have a good time!
He’s not ecstatic that+
It’s also exciting because this is the /first/ time he’s been invited out in public with Shuuji.
Maybe it’s not /exactly/ a date, but it’s close, right? They’ll be together and people will know they’re together, and they’ll have a good time!
He’s not ecstatic that+
their first actual date will be around a bunch of drunken teenagers, but hey—
After this week, /he’ll/ probably be one of those drunken teenagers, so he can’t complain that much.
His last exam is finished with a mixture of relief that he’s finally done, and excitement because+
After this week, /he’ll/ probably be one of those drunken teenagers, so he can’t complain that much.
His last exam is finished with a mixture of relief that he’s finally done, and excitement because+
there’s only a /few/ hours until the party. Until he can see Shuuji again.
He showers thoroughly, taking a little bit of extra time to wash his hair and put product in it.
Staring at his meager makeup bag, he decides that if he’s going to go all out—
He might as well go +
He showers thoroughly, taking a little bit of extra time to wash his hair and put product in it.
Staring at his meager makeup bag, he decides that if he’s going to go all out—
He might as well go +
/all out/.
Putting on his favorite playlist, Chuuya gives himself the sharpest cat eye he can manage. He ends up having to re-do it twice because he’s too busy dancing along with the music to make sure his lines are perfect.
A double coat of mascara, killer highlight on+
Putting on his favorite playlist, Chuuya gives himself the sharpest cat eye he can manage. He ends up having to re-do it twice because he’s too busy dancing along with the music to make sure his lines are perfect.
A double coat of mascara, killer highlight on+
his cheekbones and red-tinted gloss on his lips, and he looks /good/. Kissable, pretty enough to show off.
He takes more than a few selfies, sending a few to Yuan and the /best/ one to Shuuji.
Then he addresses the next problem: clothing.
He still hasn’t had a lot of time to+
He takes more than a few selfies, sending a few to Yuan and the /best/ one to Shuuji.
Then he addresses the next problem: clothing.
He still hasn’t had a lot of time to+
restock his wardrobe, so his choices—particularly for a rich kid party— are rather slim. He doesn’t want to show up looking shabby or like a pity date.
He’ll never be the best-dressed person there, but he doesn’t want to embarrass himself, or Shuuji.
Eventually he settles on+
He’ll never be the best-dressed person there, but he doesn’t want to embarrass himself, or Shuuji.
Eventually he settles on+
a pair of pitch black jeans with fishnets underneath, the hem showing over the waistband.
(Dazai’s shirt— which is still stuffed under his pillow by the way— would probably round off the look nicely, but he doesn’t even allow himself to consider it.)
For the top, he goes with+
(Dazai’s shirt— which is still stuffed under his pillow by the way— would probably round off the look nicely, but he doesn’t even allow himself to consider it.)
For the top, he goes with+
a light turtleneck long sleeve— because he’s not sure how long he’s going to be out— in a lovely dark blue that compliments his eyes and hair. It’s just a /tad/ too short, so when he raises his arms, the hem rides up his stomach.
It’s simple, chic, elegant. Perfect for what he+
It’s simple, chic, elegant. Perfect for what he+
needs.
Checking his phone for texts, he frowns when he sees that Shuuji has opened his snap but never responded. Sure, he’s never been the /best/ at fast responses and he’s probably busy getting ready for the party too, but...
A least a texted heart emoji would’ve been nice.+
Checking his phone for texts, he frowns when he sees that Shuuji has opened his snap but never responded. Sure, he’s never been the /best/ at fast responses and he’s probably busy getting ready for the party too, but...
A least a texted heart emoji would’ve been nice.+
Instead of lingering on that, he opens up the Uber app. Shuuji can’t pick him up and still get them to the party in time, so he agreed to splurge on an Uber.
It takes up most of his allowance for the month, but he’s been pretty good at keeping his spending low, considering that+
It takes up most of his allowance for the month, but he’s been pretty good at keeping his spending low, considering that+
Shuuji usually buys him dinner when they’re together.
Yuan lent him cute ankle-length boots, so he slides them on as he shoots off another text to Shuuji, letting him know that he’ll be leaving soon.
Nikolai is going to some other party that no one else in their group was +
Yuan lent him cute ankle-length boots, so he slides them on as he shoots off another text to Shuuji, letting him know that he’ll be leaving soon.
Nikolai is going to some other party that no one else in their group was +
invited to, so Chuuya locks up as he leaves, shoving his keys into his pocket. His wallet, he leaves at home, because he already lost it once, and he won’t need it since Shuuji will be giving him a ride home.
The Uber arrives quickly, already paid for through the app. He slips+
The Uber arrives quickly, already paid for through the app. He slips+
into the backseat, smiling at the woman driving politely. He’s grateful that she doesn’t try to make much conversation, instead turning the radio up lightly.
As they ease into traffic, he frowns at his phone. Shuuji still hasn’t answered his text.
Granted, Yuan hasn’t answered+
As they ease into traffic, he frowns at his phone. Shuuji still hasn’t answered his text.
Granted, Yuan hasn’t answered+
either, but he’s not meeting /her/ for a ride.
The longer he goes without a response, the more anxious he gets. He triple checks the time, and their texts agreeing when and where to meet up, wondering if he got something wrong.
Why hasn’t he answered? Just even a ‘k’ would+
The longer he goes without a response, the more anxious he gets. He triple checks the time, and their texts agreeing when and where to meet up, wondering if he got something wrong.
Why hasn’t he answered? Just even a ‘k’ would+
suffice. Anything to let him know that Shuuji is there and listening to him.
By the time he arrives at the house, he’s a nervous wreck, fighting the urge to chew on his fingers.
Did Shuuji forget? Did Chuuya get it wrong?
He smiles thinly at the driver, too harried to show+
By the time he arrives at the house, he’s a nervous wreck, fighting the urge to chew on his fingers.
Did Shuuji forget? Did Chuuya get it wrong?
He smiles thinly at the driver, too harried to show+
how much he appreciates the ride, but not rude enough to leave without saying somewhat of a goodbye.
The lights are on in the house, which instantly makes him feel a little better. He’s home, he just didn’t text back for whatever reason.
Everything’s going to be fine and+
The lights are on in the house, which instantly makes him feel a little better. He’s home, he just didn’t text back for whatever reason.
Everything’s going to be fine and+
they’re going to have a good time. By now, he /really/ needs a drink.
Except, when he walks up to the door and knocks—
It’s not Shuuji who answers after a brief pause.
It’s Dazai, with a confused expression on his face.
As always, he looks criminally good, even in his+
Except, when he walks up to the door and knocks—
It’s not Shuuji who answers after a brief pause.
It’s Dazai, with a confused expression on his face.
As always, he looks criminally good, even in his+
casual clothes, hair messy.
Chuuya tries to look past that, clearing his throat. “Hi, Dazai. Is Shuuji home?”
Dazai arches an eyebrow, confused. “No. He left,” he checks the watch on his wrist, heavy and gold, “a few hours ago?”
Chuuya’s heart breaks.
Oh. +
Chuuya tries to look past that, clearing his throat. “Hi, Dazai. Is Shuuji home?”
Dazai arches an eyebrow, confused. “No. He left,” he checks the watch on his wrist, heavy and gold, “a few hours ago?”
Chuuya’s heart breaks.
Oh. +
He...he left /hours/ ago? Before Chuuya first texted him?
He opened his snap, but didn’t tell him that he /wasn’t going to be there/? That their plans were cancelled?
He would’ve understood, if Shuuji had told him earlier, but now he’s all dressed up on Dazai’s porch, staring+
He opened his snap, but didn’t tell him that he /wasn’t going to be there/? That their plans were cancelled?
He would’ve understood, if Shuuji had told him earlier, but now he’s all dressed up on Dazai’s porch, staring+
at him like an idiot while Dazai’s face slowly devolves into something more and more concerned, and he should’ve just stayed home—
How is he going to get /home/? He left his wallet at home, like a trusting dumbass, and he used up /most/ of his money on the Uber here. He doesn’t+
How is he going to get /home/? He left his wallet at home, like a trusting dumbass, and he used up /most/ of his money on the Uber here. He doesn’t+
even have his train card, so even if he walked all the way there, he couldn’t even take the train.
Dazai will probably offer to drive him home, but Chuuya doesn’t even want him to /look/ at him right now because he feels so ugly and twisted with misery, and—
He’s had a very+
Dazai will probably offer to drive him home, but Chuuya doesn’t even want him to /look/ at him right now because he feels so ugly and twisted with misery, and—
He’s had a very+
stressful two weeks, and he’s pretty sure he flunked at least one exam and didn’t get as good a score he needed to on another. He’s low on sleep and has barely eaten, and god this is just the cherry on top of his shit cake.
He feels worthless. Ugly. A naïve fool, so easy for +
He feels worthless. Ugly. A naïve fool, so easy for +
Shuuji to play with, and he falls for it /every single time/.
It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.
Everything hurts.
“Did you two have something planned?” Dazai’s voice is gentle, cautious, but the sound shatters the remains of Chuuya’s self-control.
“There,” he turns his+
It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.
Everything hurts.
“Did you two have something planned?” Dazai’s voice is gentle, cautious, but the sound shatters the remains of Chuuya’s self-control.
“There,” he turns his+
head so Dazai won’t see as his eyes fill up with tears, because he’s had /enough/ embarrassment for one day, he doesn’t need to start sobbing in plain sight, “there was a party. But I guess I’m not going now so I’ll just, uh... leave. I’ll just leave. Thanks.”
He sniffs wetly+
He sniffs wetly+
as he turns to walk away, subtly touching the corner of his eye to stop the tear from falling and ruining his makeup.
(Dazai has been arguing himself this /whole/ time, because clearly his son is an asshole, but he /shouldn’t/ do anything about it. He should take Chuuya home,+
(Dazai has been arguing himself this /whole/ time, because clearly his son is an asshole, but he /shouldn’t/ do anything about it. He should take Chuuya home,+
let him process that Shuuji will never be as emotionally invested as he is, and then hopefully he’ll never see Shuuji again.
Really, it’s the perfect opportunity for Chuuya to leave his life as quietly as he came in, no fuss, no danger.
He shouldn’t try to fix this. He +
Really, it’s the perfect opportunity for Chuuya to leave his life as quietly as he came in, no fuss, no danger.
He shouldn’t try to fix this. He +
shouldn’t. He /really/ shouldn’t.
Then Chuuya’s face crumples into agony, and he sniffs as he turns away, and Dazai’s thoughts rapidly turn from ‘don’t touch what you can’t have’ to—
What are you /waiting/ for, /fix/ it, you can’t just let him /cry/.
So instead of the words+
Then Chuuya’s face crumples into agony, and he sniffs as he turns away, and Dazai’s thoughts rapidly turn from ‘don’t touch what you can’t have’ to—
What are you /waiting/ for, /fix/ it, you can’t just let him /cry/.
So instead of the words+
“Let me drive you home”coming out of his mouth its—)
“Wait.”
Dazai’s voice stops him in his tracks,and the fact that he /still/ listens so easily—even though Dazai hasn’t hurt Chuuya /ever/—shouldn’t make him more miserable,but it kind of does.
“Let me take you out instead.”+
“Wait.”
Dazai’s voice stops him in his tracks,and the fact that he /still/ listens so easily—even though Dazai hasn’t hurt Chuuya /ever/—shouldn’t make him more miserable,but it kind of does.
“Let me take you out instead.”+
That makes the cycle of misery and self-deprecation break apart, his thoughts dissolving into blankness, and the only thing he can think is ‘what?’.
He must’ve said that out loud, because Dazai is speaking up behind him again, this time a little closer:
“Let me take you to+
He must’ve said that out loud, because Dazai is speaking up behind him again, this time a little closer:
“Let me take you to+
dinner. Please.”
Gentle fingers find his elbow, coaxing him to turn back around. It’s so easy to follow their lead, spinning in place to face him again.
He doesn’t look up farther than Dazai’s chest though, because he’s pretty sure he still looks like he’s having a breakdown.+
Gentle fingers find his elbow, coaxing him to turn back around. It’s so easy to follow their lead, spinning in place to face him again.
He doesn’t look up farther than Dazai’s chest though, because he’s pretty sure he still looks like he’s having a breakdown.+
“What, like a date?”
He /says/ it self-deprecatingly, like that option is so far fetched. He can’t even get a real date with /Shuuji/, let alone his completely out of his league dad—
The next words knock all the breath out of him.
“If you’d like. If not,” there’s a knuckle+
He /says/ it self-deprecatingly, like that option is so far fetched. He can’t even get a real date with /Shuuji/, let alone his completely out of his league dad—
The next words knock all the breath out of him.
“If you’d like. If not,” there’s a knuckle+
under his chin, coaxing him to tip his head back, so gentle he wouldn’t even have to try to resist it, but he doesn’t /want/ to resist it, “think of it as a way to make sure that your pretty makeup doesn’t go to waste.”
Dazai’s fingertip touches the corner of his eye, smoothing+
Dazai’s fingertip touches the corner of his eye, smoothing+
away the tear there without smearing his eyeliner. His expression is torn between concern and sympathy, eyes flicking over his face.
His hold is so gentle that Chuuya could turn around and walk away right now, and he doubts that Dazai would /stop/ him but—
He finds himself+
His hold is so gentle that Chuuya could turn around and walk away right now, and he doubts that Dazai would /stop/ him but—
He finds himself+
staring up at him, wondering if he’s only asking out of pity. He knows he looks pitiful right now,so it would make sense.
But Dazai doesn’t seem reluctant or put out. He’s just gently concerned, offering him a small, genuine smile as he waits for his response.
Chuuya bites his+
But Dazai doesn’t seem reluctant or put out. He’s just gently concerned, offering him a small, genuine smile as he waits for his response.
Chuuya bites his+
lip. Really, what would it hurt?
After the last two weeks he /deserves/ to have a nice time, and he is starving. He’s never been out to dinner before, and he just wants /one/ stupid romantic date to come out of this. Even if it’s with Dazai.
(/Especially/ if it’s with Dazai.)+
After the last two weeks he /deserves/ to have a nice time, and he is starving. He’s never been out to dinner before, and he just wants /one/ stupid romantic date to come out of this. Even if it’s with Dazai.
(/Especially/ if it’s with Dazai.)+
“Are you sure you’re not busy?” He mumbles. Dazai is dressed like he might’ve been going to bed soon, relaxing around the house.
There’s a shake of Dazai’s head, his thumb pressing into his check. “Not for you. Not for this.”
Chuuya lets out a shuddering breath. Alright then.+
There’s a shake of Dazai’s head, his thumb pressing into his check. “Not for you. Not for this.”
Chuuya lets out a shuddering breath. Alright then.+
“Okay,” he agrees, voice small.
It’s just dinner, right?
The smile transforms Dazai’s face, radiating warmth and happiness, and he looks so damn /proud/ of himself, just because Chuuya said yes.
“Lovely,” he responds, stepping out of his way, “let me take care of a few +
It’s just dinner, right?
The smile transforms Dazai’s face, radiating warmth and happiness, and he looks so damn /proud/ of himself, just because Chuuya said yes.
“Lovely,” he responds, stepping out of his way, “let me take care of a few +
things, and then we can go, alright? Come inside, I know Yoko will be happy to see you.”
That does make him feel better, because Yoko is /always/ happy to see him, and it’s such uncomplicated, unconditional love that it makes the ugly knot of emotion in his chest start to fade+
That does make him feel better, because Yoko is /always/ happy to see him, and it’s such uncomplicated, unconditional love that it makes the ugly knot of emotion in his chest start to fade+
away.
When they go inside, Yoko is already waiting at the door, offering Chuuya a more sedate greeting than her usual excitement and sitting still when he crouches down to hug her. She’s surprisingly good at sensing his moods.
Dazai disappears upstairs, probably to change. He+
When they go inside, Yoko is already waiting at the door, offering Chuuya a more sedate greeting than her usual excitement and sitting still when he crouches down to hug her. She’s surprisingly good at sensing his moods.
Dazai disappears upstairs, probably to change. He+
looks good in a loose pair of joggers, and honestly, Chuuya’s standards are so low that he wouldn’t even be that mad if Dazai did take him to dinner in sweats, but he’s definitely looking forward to whatever he chooses to wear.
(Upstairs, on the phone:
“/Seriously/, Dazai,+
(Upstairs, on the phone:
“/Seriously/, Dazai,+
you’re going to use the favor that you’ve been holding over me for /two/ years, to get a /restaurant reservation/? What do you even need it for?”
“That’s the thing,” Dazai snaps as he yanks open his closet, “I don’t need an /explanation/ for a favor, Tanizaki. Get me the table +
“That’s the thing,” Dazai snaps as he yanks open his closet, “I don’t need an /explanation/ for a favor, Tanizaki. Get me the table +
or that new birth certificate you need is going to get lost in the mail.”
“Jeez,” the man grumbles. There’s a faint sound of typing, a rustling of papers before he continues, “best I can do is a table in an hour.”
“Perfect,” Dazai says, surveying his options. “Oh, and make+
“Jeez,” the man grumbles. There’s a faint sound of typing, a rustling of papers before he continues, “best I can do is a table in an hour.”
“Perfect,” Dazai says, surveying his options. “Oh, and make+
sure there are flowers on the table. Orange ones.”
He hangs up, not waiting to hear a response. He already knows Tanizaki will follow his directions— he /owes/ him, and no one dares to fall through on the debts they owe him.)
Yoko proudly shows Chuuya one of her new toys, +
He hangs up, not waiting to hear a response. He already knows Tanizaki will follow his directions— he /owes/ him, and no one dares to fall through on the debts they owe him.)
Yoko proudly shows Chuuya one of her new toys, +
distracting him. He’s so tempted to pull out his phone and check if Shuuji has updated any of his social media, just as a masochistic way to prove himself right.
But he’s finally feeling better, and when he hears the sounds of Dazai getting ready upstairs—he’s /usually/ quiet+
But he’s finally feeling better, and when he hears the sounds of Dazai getting ready upstairs—he’s /usually/ quiet+
when he’s around the house, so quiet that Chuuya almost never hears him— it makes him smile, amused.
It also makes him /nervous/ because, fuck, this is really happening, isn’t it? It’s not some dream, not some misunderstanding.
Dazai said it /could/ be a date, if he wanted it+
It also makes him /nervous/ because, fuck, this is really happening, isn’t it? It’s not some dream, not some misunderstanding.
Dazai said it /could/ be a date, if he wanted it+
to be. Obviously, he /does/ want it to be but—
Does that come with expectations? He’s never been on a /real/ date before, so he doesn’t know what to do.
Is he supposed to act different? Be funnier, prettier, quieter? Is he supposed to kiss him, even if he doesn’t want to? +
Does that come with expectations? He’s never been on a /real/ date before, so he doesn’t know what to do.
Is he supposed to act different? Be funnier, prettier, quieter? Is he supposed to kiss him, even if he doesn’t want to? +
(Not that that will be a problem, because he /does/ want to, it’s just...
He’s /nervous/. What if he doesn’t like it?
What if he kisses like /Shuuji/, all fumbling hands and too-forceful and not good at all?
Just the thought of that makes Chuuya want to cry.)
Before he can+
He’s /nervous/. What if he doesn’t like it?
What if he kisses like /Shuuji/, all fumbling hands and too-forceful and not good at all?
Just the thought of that makes Chuuya want to cry.)
Before he can+
get too nervous though, Dazai is pounding down the stairs again, looking like he’s rushing.
And even though he was probably rushing that entire time— so he wouldn’t keep him waiting, Chuuya realizes, heart warm— he looks /sinfully/ good.
A grey turtleneck that hugs his+
And even though he was probably rushing that entire time— so he wouldn’t keep him waiting, Chuuya realizes, heart warm— he looks /sinfully/ good.
A grey turtleneck that hugs his+
torso beautifully,hinting at the strong muscles underneath. Black jeans that emphasize how thick his thighs are,flexing powerfully underneath the fabric as he steps down.Grey boots.
(Chuuya is suddenly reminded about what they /say/ about men with big feet, and he’s /curious/.)+
(Chuuya is suddenly reminded about what they /say/ about men with big feet, and he’s /curious/.)+
He’s wearing a black trench-coat that flaps around his knees, covering most of his outfit up.
And on his hands....silver rings that match the chain around his neck.
He looks /good/, but in a subtle way, like he’s not trying to be noticed but he’ll give you a show if you /do/+
And on his hands....silver rings that match the chain around his neck.
He looks /good/, but in a subtle way, like he’s not trying to be noticed but he’ll give you a show if you /do/+
see him.
There’s money in his clothes, obviously, but not so much that Chuuya feels underdressed by comparison.
And they /match/, he realizes, face turning red as he touches the collar to his own turtleneck. Is that coincidence or purposeful?
“Are you ready?” Dazai asks+
There’s money in his clothes, obviously, but not so much that Chuuya feels underdressed by comparison.
And they /match/, he realizes, face turning red as he touches the collar to his own turtleneck. Is that coincidence or purposeful?
“Are you ready?” Dazai asks+
shoving his wallet and keys in his pocket. Despite the question, and his own hurry, he doesn’t seem particularly worried either way, like Chuuya could say no and he’d continue to wait patiently.
He is ready though. Giving Yoko one last pat, he stands up and nods in affirmation.+
He is ready though. Giving Yoko one last pat, he stands up and nods in affirmation.+
Dazai smiles at him, big, his hair falling charmingly over his forehead. The dimple flashes at him, then melts away just as quickly as Dazai holds out an arm.
Confused, Chuuya steps closer.
A large hand finds the small of his back, warm and steering him gently through the +
Confused, Chuuya steps closer.
A large hand finds the small of his back, warm and steering him gently through the +
hall towards the garage.
Chuuya is glad he’s walking in front, because his face is on /fire/, and he’s barely watching where he’s going, his entire awareness narrowing down to the heat of Dazai’s fingers over his shirt. His thumb is just on the /edge/ of the hem, and it would +
Chuuya is glad he’s walking in front, because his face is on /fire/, and he’s barely watching where he’s going, his entire awareness narrowing down to the heat of Dazai’s fingers over his shirt. His thumb is just on the /edge/ of the hem, and it would +
only take a shift in the right direction to pressed on the bare skin of his hip.
Dazai unlocks the garage door and urges him out. Yoko has to have Chuuya push her nose back in gently before the door can be shut again.
“It’s a bit of a drive,” Dazai murmurs, following Chuuya to+
Dazai unlocks the garage door and urges him out. Yoko has to have Chuuya push her nose back in gently before the door can be shut again.
“It’s a bit of a drive,” Dazai murmurs, following Chuuya to+
his side of the car. He opens the door for him— a gentlemanly gesture that Chuuya has only seen in movies, one that makes him blush— and leans his arms on the door as Chuuya slides in. “I hope you don’t mind.”
Mind getting to see him driving again, especially with the /changed/+
Mind getting to see him driving again, especially with the /changed/+
atmosphere between them, one that might allow Chuuya to reach across them and hold his free hand...
Or that hand on his thigh, wrapping nearly the width of it, casually possessive as Dazai keeps his eyes on the road, but his thumb is stroking over his skin rhythmically...
He+
Or that hand on his thigh, wrapping nearly the width of it, casually possessive as Dazai keeps his eyes on the road, but his thumb is stroking over his skin rhythmically...
He+
gets to watch Dazai cross the front of the car, opening the garage door and starting the car in a series of smooth confident motions.
Then the door is opening, and Dazai is dropping in, and they're alone, locked in a car together for 'a bit of a drive'. Anticipation rolls down +
Then the door is opening, and Dazai is dropping in, and they're alone, locked in a car together for 'a bit of a drive'. Anticipation rolls down +
his spine, curling hotly in his stomach.
"Where are we going?" He asks, purely for something to say. He likes that Dazai already has a plan in mind, instead of looking to him to make all the decisions. It shows how capable he is of taking control, of guiding the situation. +
"Where are we going?" He asks, purely for something to say. He likes that Dazai already has a plan in mind, instead of looking to him to make all the decisions. It shows how capable he is of taking control, of guiding the situation. +
It shows that he /wants/ this.
Dazai throws a look at him, reversing smoothly out of the garage. "I got us a table at Azamino Ukai-tei. It's the best I could do on such short notice-- but if you'd like to go anywhere else, I'll be happy to take you there instead."
Chuuya's +
Dazai throws a look at him, reversing smoothly out of the garage. "I got us a table at Azamino Ukai-tei. It's the best I could do on such short notice-- but if you'd like to go anywhere else, I'll be happy to take you there instead."
Chuuya's +
eyebrows shoot up. It's not the most /expensive/ restaurant in the city, he's sure, but he /does/ remember seeing it as one of the top options when he was cruising the dining options in Yokohama. It probably has a waiting list at least a week long.
And Dazai got them a table+
And Dazai got them a table+
in less than 20 minutes? Money really does buy everything, doesn't it?
"No," he smiles at Dazai, "that sounds perfect."
The look in Dazai's eye grows into something warmer, sweeter.
The drive is much like the other time Dazai took him home, except this time he's got a few +
"No," he smiles at Dazai, "that sounds perfect."
The look in Dazai's eye grows into something warmer, sweeter.
The drive is much like the other time Dazai took him home, except this time he's got a few +
rings on his fingers, adding a point of interest that draws Chuuya's attention every time he manages to look away. They're beautiful, heavy silver and glinting under the lights of the car.
A stray cat takes the wrong moment to dart across the road, headed straight for the tires+
A stray cat takes the wrong moment to dart across the road, headed straight for the tires+
of the car, and Chuuya is leaning forward, eyes wide, mouth open to warn Dazai--
The car brakes hard, swerving to avoid the cat. A hard forearm is suddenly across his chest, pinning him back against the seat as the rear end of the car wobbles, momentum carrying the turn to a +
The car brakes hard, swerving to avoid the cat. A hard forearm is suddenly across his chest, pinning him back against the seat as the rear end of the car wobbles, momentum carrying the turn to a +
dangerous, screeching degree as the car threatens to tip over--
Just as quickly, Dazai is tapping the gas, twisting the wheel, easily bringing the car back under control.
Chuuya looks out the side mirror, heart in his throat--
The cat crouches, terrified, in the middle of +
Just as quickly, Dazai is tapping the gas, twisting the wheel, easily bringing the car back under control.
Chuuya looks out the side mirror, heart in his throat--
The cat crouches, terrified, in the middle of +
the street for a moment before slinking out of the road, unharmed. Chuuya lets out a relieved breath, sinking back into his seat.
"That cat is going to get hurt someday," Dazai mutters, slowly pulling his arm back.
(Chuuya's heart is still pounding, but for a different reason.+
"That cat is going to get hurt someday," Dazai mutters, slowly pulling his arm back.
(Chuuya's heart is still pounding, but for a different reason.+
Because one of Dazai's /first/ thoughts was his safety. It was immediate, so /reactionary/, that Chuuya barely jerked forward before his forearm was locking him in place.)
He hopes Dazai didn't feel his racing heart against his arm, because it feels like it's beating out of his+
He hopes Dazai didn't feel his racing heart against his arm, because it feels like it's beating out of his+
/chest/. Swallowing hard to gather a little bit of composure, he responds, "Does it have a home or is it a stray?"
Dazai shrugs. "I've never seen it with a collar on, so I'm assuming a stray."
Poor kitty. All things considered, the rich neighborhood probably isn't the worst +
Dazai shrugs. "I've never seen it with a collar on, so I'm assuming a stray."
Poor kitty. All things considered, the rich neighborhood probably isn't the worst +
thing, but it does get cold at night. The poor thing is probably sleeping under porches, or something else equally pitiful.
Chuuya wants to take it home, heart panging in sympathy.
The rest of the drive is relatively uneventful, with the only exciting portion being a +
Chuuya wants to take it home, heart panging in sympathy.
The rest of the drive is relatively uneventful, with the only exciting portion being a +
pedestrian that runs across the crosswalk moments before the light turns green.
Dazai's arm has returned to resting on the center console, wrist hanging off the gearshift and fingers dangling, /so/ tempting, it's only a few inches--
They talk casually, about the dogs or +
Dazai's arm has returned to resting on the center console, wrist hanging off the gearshift and fingers dangling, /so/ tempting, it's only a few inches--
They talk casually, about the dogs or +
Chuuya's classes, or whatever comes to mind.
Shuuji's name does not come up once, and Chuuya is incredibly grateful for that, because he doesn't want to be reminded of what happened earlier, and he doesn't particularly want to stop contemplating the morals of going on a /date/ +
Shuuji's name does not come up once, and Chuuya is incredibly grateful for that, because he doesn't want to be reminded of what happened earlier, and he doesn't particularly want to stop contemplating the morals of going on a /date/ +
with his dad. That might send him spiraling into a pit of guilt and anxiety, and he /really/ just wants to have a good time tonight.
He is having a good time too, so far, because Dazai is funny and he gets this glint in his eye whenever he makes Chuuya laugh, like he's proud+
He is having a good time too, so far, because Dazai is funny and he gets this glint in his eye whenever he makes Chuuya laugh, like he's proud+
of himself. Like his only goal for the evening is to make him feel good and safe and secure.
When they arrive at the restaurant, there is only a few parking spots. There is a valet option, but Dazai skips that, choosing instead to find his own spot. Chuuya wonders why.
When he+
When they arrive at the restaurant, there is only a few parking spots. There is a valet option, but Dazai skips that, choosing instead to find his own spot. Chuuya wonders why.
When he+
finally parks, Chuuya gets out before Dazai can come around the car for him.
(Of course, Dazai doesn't /say/ anything, but it takes quite a bit to keep the disappointed pout off his face.)
The hand finds his lower back again as they walk towards the entrance, and Chuuya is +
(Of course, Dazai doesn't /say/ anything, but it takes quite a bit to keep the disappointed pout off his face.)
The hand finds his lower back again as they walk towards the entrance, and Chuuya is +
starting to think that Dazai is treating this like a /real/ date, even without Chuuya saying something, because this is as much as he's touched him, ever.
It's easily escaped, just one step up and the hand would slide off his back--
But Chuuya /likes/ the sensation, the gentle+
It's easily escaped, just one step up and the hand would slide off his back--
But Chuuya /likes/ the sensation, the gentle+
guiding that Dazai gives him with easy pressure from the tips of his fingers, drawing him closer or urging him in a different direction around a poorly parked car.
He opens the door for them both, and the restaurant is pleasantly warm, the smell of delicious food wafting out+
He opens the door for them both, and the restaurant is pleasantly warm, the smell of delicious food wafting out+
and making Chuuya's mouth water. He'd been so excited earlier today that he forgot to eat much besides a few pieces of bread in anticipation of drinking.
Maybe not his best choice, but one he is appreciating now, because that means he can eat /more/ of the delicious food here.+
Maybe not his best choice, but one he is appreciating now, because that means he can eat /more/ of the delicious food here.+
Dazai approaches the hostess without hesitation, murmuring his name. She greets them both briefly before leading them to a back table that’s set a little ways from the others, almost secluded.
Dazai pulls out his chair for him, clearly intending to give Chuuya to full date +
Dazai pulls out his chair for him, clearly intending to give Chuuya to full date +
experience.
(It’s also because that leaves Dazai with the chair near the wall, so he can watch all the entrances and keep an eye on anyone approaching. Not that he’ll tell Chuuya that.)
There’s candles on the table, burning low and atmospheric. And in the center—
Orange+
(It’s also because that leaves Dazai with the chair near the wall, so he can watch all the entrances and keep an eye on anyone approaching. Not that he’ll tell Chuuya that.)
There’s candles on the table, burning low and atmospheric. And in the center—
Orange+
flowers, in a beautiful bouquet.
It's not the same kind as he received earlier-- those ones lasted four days before they started to wilt and he managed to save one orange rose by pressing it between the pages of a book-- but they're close enough that he's immediately struck by+
It's not the same kind as he received earlier-- those ones lasted four days before they started to wilt and he managed to save one orange rose by pressing it between the pages of a book-- but they're close enough that he's immediately struck by+
the similarity.
He touches the petals, gently, heart in his mouth. "Did you get these for me?"
Dazai sits in his chair, gesturing for the waiter to bring them a few menus. "Yes. I would've gotten you something more meaningful, but I didn't have enough time."
His eyes are +
He touches the petals, gently, heart in his mouth. "Did you get these for me?"
Dazai sits in his chair, gesturing for the waiter to bring them a few menus. "Yes. I would've gotten you something more meaningful, but I didn't have enough time."
His eyes are +
stuck on the flowers, and suddenly he realizes--
The first bouquet arrived only hours after Dazai dropped him off. Hours after the man spent all /morning/ trying to cheer him up, cracking jokes and bickering with him good-naturedly, teaching him how to control the dogs.
And +
The first bouquet arrived only hours after Dazai dropped him off. Hours after the man spent all /morning/ trying to cheer him up, cracking jokes and bickering with him good-naturedly, teaching him how to control the dogs.
And +
when he called Shuuji about it, he still sounded groggy, like he'd just woken up. He'd also never claimed them /directly/, and if he /did/ send them--
Why wouldn't he have left a card? Why the mysterious black business card?
Did...
Did /Dazai/ send them?
His eyes wander up,+
Why wouldn't he have left a card? Why the mysterious black business card?
Did...
Did /Dazai/ send them?
His eyes wander up,+
taking him in, the way the candlelight dances over the features of his face, sharpening his cheekbones. His eyes are dark enough that they reflect the flames, like a demon out of hell, unreadable and mysterious and smiling wickedly at him.
He looks like something out of +
He looks like something out of +
Chuuya's most delicious and secret dreams.
He has to ask.
"Did... did you send me anything /before/?"
Before Dazai can answer, the waitress comes over with their menus, placing them on either side of the table. She also pours two cups of water for them, leaving them in the+
He has to ask.
"Did... did you send me anything /before/?"
Before Dazai can answer, the waitress comes over with their menus, placing them on either side of the table. She also pours two cups of water for them, leaving them in the+
middle of the table.
Dazai flips open his wine menu, shooting him a small, secretive, /teasing/ grin over the top, before changing the subject. "I hear the Monte Bello wine is good; you should try it."
Chuuya narrows his eyes at him, wondering if he can pressure him into +
Dazai flips open his wine menu, shooting him a small, secretive, /teasing/ grin over the top, before changing the subject. "I hear the Monte Bello wine is good; you should try it."
Chuuya narrows his eyes at him, wondering if he can pressure him into +
answering with sheer presence, but he just continues scanning his menu with that infuriating little grin on his face.
Fine then.
He does drag his menu over, though mostly just to awe at the options. "I'm not twenty," he mutters, reminding Dazai that he's still not of drinking+
Fine then.
He does drag his menu over, though mostly just to awe at the options. "I'm not twenty," he mutters, reminding Dazai that he's still not of drinking+
age, even if it makes him feel incredibly young.
"You're with me, sweetheart; no one will question you."
That's probably true, because Dazai exudes this powerful energy, like someone who should /not/ be questioned or defied. And if he insists--
Chuuya's not going to pass up+
"You're with me, sweetheart; no one will question you."
That's probably true, because Dazai exudes this powerful energy, like someone who should /not/ be questioned or defied. And if he insists--
Chuuya's not going to pass up+
the opportunity to have a glass that /literally/ costs over fifteen-thousand yen. The price does make him ache a bit, but if Dazai is offering... he won't say no. If he does, he might never get the chance again.
The waitress comes back after a few minutes, much more attentive+
The waitress comes back after a few minutes, much more attentive+
than any server in every other restaurant Chuuya's ever been in.
She takes their drink orders-- expensive whiskey for Dazai and the wine for Chuuya-- without blinking, scribbling down their orders before hurrying away.
It's only wine-- not like he's underage at a bar-- but the+
She takes their drink orders-- expensive whiskey for Dazai and the wine for Chuuya-- without blinking, scribbling down their orders before hurrying away.
It's only wine-- not like he's underage at a bar-- but the+
feeling of breaking the rules, even a little bit, sends a rush of adrenaline through him, making him grin. It's nothing he hasn't done before--he's had wine several times--but it still makes him feel a little wild, a little reckless, a little dangerous.
"What are you studying?"+
"What are you studying?"+
Dazai asks.
It's a general question, small talk, but it really highlights how little they know about each other. Sometimes, with how easily Dazai seems to /get/ him, it's easy to forget that they've only spent a few hours together, over the course of a month.
It's hard to +
It's a general question, small talk, but it really highlights how little they know about each other. Sometimes, with how easily Dazai seems to /get/ him, it's easy to forget that they've only spent a few hours together, over the course of a month.
It's hard to +
remember that they're basically strangers,when it feels like Dazai's known him forever.
"Engineering," he responds.
Their drinks arrive then, placed on the table gently. Their food orders are taken next--the Kaitei steak course for Dazai that pairs nicely with the whiskey, and+
"Engineering," he responds.
Their drinks arrive then, placed on the table gently. Their food orders are taken next--the Kaitei steak course for Dazai that pairs nicely with the whiskey, and+
the seafood course for Chuuya--before she hurries away again.
"Your family must be proud," Dazai says,voice low. To be truthful--
/He/ sounds a lot prouder than Chuuya's dad was, when he found out. Not that Rimbaud isn't proud of him, he just wanted him to do something more...+
"Your family must be proud," Dazai says,voice low. To be truthful--
/He/ sounds a lot prouder than Chuuya's dad was, when he found out. Not that Rimbaud isn't proud of him, he just wanted him to do something more...+
/Competitive/. More distinguished, something that he can brag about to all the other parents on the block.
He shrugs, taking a little sip of his wine. Flavor bursts over his tongue, deep and warm, so rich that he's automatically letting out a little moan, taking a longer sip.
+
He shrugs, taking a little sip of his wine. Flavor bursts over his tongue, deep and warm, so rich that he's automatically letting out a little moan, taking a longer sip.
+
Dark eyes sharpen on him, growing darker, more intent.
Chuuya doesn't notice.
"Mm," he sighs, "they are, they just...wanted something more for me. Dad was deadset on me being a lawyer, since I like to argue so much. He was a little upset when I told him my major."
That makes+
Chuuya doesn't notice.
"Mm," he sighs, "they are, they just...wanted something more for me. Dad was deadset on me being a lawyer, since I like to argue so much. He was a little upset when I told him my major."
That makes+
Dazai tilt his head, eyebrows creasing. "You're at Keio, though, aren't you? It's a very prestigious school; you must be incredibly smart to get in, no matter what you're studying."
Chuuya squirms a little, uncomfortable. Most days he doesn't /feel/ smart, because he's always+
Chuuya squirms a little, uncomfortable. Most days he doesn't /feel/ smart, because he's always+
had to work harder, study harder and longer, than a decent part of his class. Some of his fellow students just suck in the information like it's /air/, never struggling and barely having to study.
Most of the time, he just feels like he's keeping up instead of excelling. He's+
Most of the time, he just feels like he's keeping up instead of excelling. He's+
never the /best/, never the most wanted, never the top.
He just... works hard, that's it. That's all.
Thankfully, their food arrives then, giving him a moment longer to think as the plates are set on the table accordingly.
(He tells himself that the grateful, polite smile +
He just... works hard, that's it. That's all.
Thankfully, their food arrives then, giving him a moment longer to think as the plates are set on the table accordingly.
(He tells himself that the grateful, polite smile +
Dazai gives the waittress and her responding dazzled look doesn't make his stomach boil with resentment and jealousy.)
Taking the moment to change the subject, Chuuya asks, "What do you do? For work, I mean."
Dazai takes his sweet time arranging his utensils to his liking, +
Taking the moment to change the subject, Chuuya asks, "What do you do? For work, I mean."
Dazai takes his sweet time arranging his utensils to his liking, +
piling his plate with food slowly. He has a thoughtful expression on his face, like he's deciding what exactly to tell Chuuya.
Eventually he speaks up, lifting a bite of steak to his mouth, "I work in information, and protection."
That's... not exactly the answer Chuuya was+
Eventually he speaks up, lifting a bite of steak to his mouth, "I work in information, and protection."
That's... not exactly the answer Chuuya was+
expecting. He was expecting more of a company name, or an actual job title, not this vague non-answer.
He takes a bite of his crab--is it just him, or do Dazai's eyes follow his fork like a dog begging for treats-- and says, "Like security? Personal protection?"
Dazai grins at+
He takes a bite of his crab--is it just him, or do Dazai's eyes follow his fork like a dog begging for treats-- and says, "Like security? Personal protection?"
Dazai grins at+
him like he just won the lottery. "/Exactly/ like personal protection."
Well--
Still not a name, still not a company, but obviously he must be in high demand, considering how wealthy he is, so maybe it's a safety precaution.
Or a trust thing, Chuuya reminds himself, because+
Well--
Still not a name, still not a company, but obviously he must be in high demand, considering how wealthy he is, so maybe it's a safety precaution.
Or a trust thing, Chuuya reminds himself, because+
they are /still/ just getting to know eachother.
(The idea of that makes him both sad and even more determined to prove himself to Dazai.)
This time, when he raises another bite of crab to his lips, the way Dazai is staring is obvious.
Chuuya pauses, curious, wondering why+
(The idea of that makes him both sad and even more determined to prove himself to Dazai.)
This time, when he raises another bite of crab to his lips, the way Dazai is staring is obvious.
Chuuya pauses, curious, wondering why+
the man didn’t just order crab if he wanted it so bad, but it gives him a chance to /turn/ the tables.
He waves the fork at him, teasing. “Do you /want/ a bite?”
Dazai licks his bottom lip, slow, the pink of his tongue slick and tempting. He looks from the fork up to Chuuya,+
He waves the fork at him, teasing. “Do you /want/ a bite?”
Dazai licks his bottom lip, slow, the pink of his tongue slick and tempting. He looks from the fork up to Chuuya,+
eyes gleaming. “I would /love/ one,” he purrs, and the sensual tone in his voice makes Chuuya wonder if he’s taking about the crab—
Or if he wants a bite of /Chuuya/.
Breathless, he offers the fork up to him. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, for Dazai to take the fork from+
Or if he wants a bite of /Chuuya/.
Breathless, he offers the fork up to him. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, for Dazai to take the fork from+
his hands or pull the crab off with his own fork—
Whatever it is, it’s not for Dazai to lean across the table, smoldering eyes locked on his like he’s /daring/ Chuuya to look away, and taking the fork in his mouth.
With the handle still in his fingers, he can feel the movement+
Whatever it is, it’s not for Dazai to lean across the table, smoldering eyes locked on his like he’s /daring/ Chuuya to look away, and taking the fork in his mouth.
With the handle still in his fingers, he can feel the movement+
of Dazai’s teeth and tongue, pulling off the crab, /achingly/ slowly.
Somehow, the room feels suddenly ten degrees hotter than before. His face feels like it’s on fire, but he can’t look away for even a second as Dazai finally leans back in his seat, a satisfied expression on+
Somehow, the room feels suddenly ten degrees hotter than before. His face feels like it’s on fire, but he can’t look away for even a second as Dazai finally leans back in his seat, a satisfied expression on+
his face.
“Thank you, doll; that was very /sweet/ of you.”
God, when he says it like /that/, it makes it sound like he wants to give Chuuya a reward for it.
He takes a sip of his wine to recover and cool off, which is a mistake. He’s not entirely sure if it’s the wine or +
“Thank you, doll; that was very /sweet/ of you.”
God, when he says it like /that/, it makes it sound like he wants to give Chuuya a reward for it.
He takes a sip of his wine to recover and cool off, which is a mistake. He’s not entirely sure if it’s the wine or +
the way Dazai is smirking at him, but it feels like there’s a burning ball of tension in his stomach, pumping slow, inescapable heat into his veins, until it feels like he’s swallowed lava and it’s consuming him whole.
“You’re welcome,” he mutters, voice breathy.
That makes+
“You’re welcome,” he mutters, voice breathy.
That makes+
the smile widen, and Dazai smothers it in his drink, watching him closely over the rim. His teeth flash sharply in the light, and Chuuya has the sudden thought that he doesn’t think he’d mind being eaten /alive/.
This time, when the waitress comes, Dazai’s eyes don’t leave him+
This time, when the waitress comes, Dazai’s eyes don’t leave him+
for a /second/, watching him closely.
"Would you like dessert?" The waitress asks. She doesn't look at Chuuya at all, which is /slightly/ irritating, but it's offset by the fact that Dazai isn't paying her any attention at all.
"Mm," Dazai hums, contemplating. "Yes. Something+
"Would you like dessert?" The waitress asks. She doesn't look at Chuuya at all, which is /slightly/ irritating, but it's offset by the fact that Dazai isn't paying her any attention at all.
"Mm," Dazai hums, contemplating. "Yes. Something+
sweet. Fruity. Chocolate?"
The last part is directed at Chuuya, a question. He nods, pushing his plate away to make room. He doesn't usually order desserts at restaurants, but it's like Dazai read his mind.
The waitress nods, taking a few of their empty plates away when she +
The last part is directed at Chuuya, a question. He nods, pushing his plate away to make room. He doesn't usually order desserts at restaurants, but it's like Dazai read his mind.
The waitress nods, taking a few of their empty plates away when she +
goes.
Chuuya doesn't know how long it takes for her to come back with a small cake in her hands. He doesn't know what they talk about.
All he knows is that Dazai's eyes feel like molten caramel, deep enough to drown in and Chuuya is sinking, melting, burning alive, desperate.+
Chuuya doesn't know how long it takes for her to come back with a small cake in her hands. He doesn't know what they talk about.
All he knows is that Dazai's eyes feel like molten caramel, deep enough to drown in and Chuuya is sinking, melting, burning alive, desperate.+
She sets the plate in front of Dazai, and he doesn't even care that she's ignoring him anymore, because Dazai is taking a clean fork in hand, carefully spearing a chunk of deliciously warm chocolate, fluffy cake and a pretty raspberry.
With an indulgent grin, he offers the bite+
With an indulgent grin, he offers the bite+
to him across the table. "/Want/ a bite?" he asks, teasingly.
Yes. Of the cake /and/ Dazai.
This time it's Chuuya's turn to lean across the table. He's not quite confident to take the bite without looking, but as soon as he gets the fork in his mouth, flavor bursts across his+
Yes. Of the cake /and/ Dazai.
This time it's Chuuya's turn to lean across the table. He's not quite confident to take the bite without looking, but as soon as he gets the fork in his mouth, flavor bursts across his+
tongue, making his eyes fall shut on a soft moan.
The fork doesn't waver, but the tension builds.
Dazai feeds him another bite, this time with a blueberry, and that's when Chuuya notices he hasn't moved to take a bite for himself.
"Are you going to have any?"
Dazai hums, +
The fork doesn't waver, but the tension builds.
Dazai feeds him another bite, this time with a blueberry, and that's when Chuuya notices he hasn't moved to take a bite for himself.
"Are you going to have any?"
Dazai hums, +
and this time, the bite he offers has a load of melted chocolate on it. Chuuya takes it easily, using his tongue to get most of the chocolate.
"I'm not much of a sweets person," Dazai says lowly, taking the fork back. "I'm /picky/ with my food."
Then, making deliberate, +
"I'm not much of a sweets person," Dazai says lowly, taking the fork back. "I'm /picky/ with my food."
Then, making deliberate, +
devastating eye contact, he lifts the fork to his mouth, and slowly, oh so fucking slowly, licks off a smear of chocolate Chuuya had missed.
It feels like a /crime/ to watch,because his tongue is wet and /thorough/, getting every trace of the sweet off, curling at the edge with+
It feels like a /crime/ to watch,because his tongue is wet and /thorough/, getting every trace of the sweet off, curling at the edge with+
an ease that speaks of /skill/.
And Chuuya--
God, he doesn't even know /what/ he's thinking, if he's thinking at all, because he feels hot and cold, electric, melting like putty in Dazai's hands as he offers him another bite, and /fuck/, this one tastes so much better after it+
And Chuuya--
God, he doesn't even know /what/ he's thinking, if he's thinking at all, because he feels hot and cold, electric, melting like putty in Dazai's hands as he offers him another bite, and /fuck/, this one tastes so much better after it+
had Dazai's mouth all over it.
He's going to /die/ if Dazai keeps this up.
After a few more bites, Chuuya can't handle it anymore, slumping back in his chair. He needs a bathroom break or a cold shower or /something/.
(He needs /Dazai/.)
How is he going to survive the ride+
He's going to /die/ if Dazai keeps this up.
After a few more bites, Chuuya can't handle it anymore, slumping back in his chair. He needs a bathroom break or a cold shower or /something/.
(He needs /Dazai/.)
How is he going to survive the ride+
home? The drive /here/ was bad enough, but now he's half-hard already--embarassing, because Dazai literally has not touched him at all since they first arrived-- and he's so desperate he could beg for it.
Beg for what, exactly, he doesn't know, but he's pretty sure Dazai will.+
Beg for what, exactly, he doesn't know, but he's pretty sure Dazai will.+
He excuses himself to the restroom, taking a long minute to cool off and splash his face with water. It's not /fair/ the effect Dazai has on him, because he's pretty sure he doesn't have half the effect or skill to play Dazai like he's playing him.
And this time, today, Chuuya+
And this time, today, Chuuya+
doesn't lie to himself.
This is flriting. This is sexual tension. Dazai's been flirting with him /all/ night, and he can't help but wonder--
What is he going to /do/ about it?
By the time he returns, Dazai has already paid for their meal and is finishing off his glass of +
This is flriting. This is sexual tension. Dazai's been flirting with him /all/ night, and he can't help but wonder--
What is he going to /do/ about it?
By the time he returns, Dazai has already paid for their meal and is finishing off his glass of +
whiskey. Chuuya is glad he only had 1 glass, because even though Dazai is the best driver he's ever seen, he's still traumatized by all those anti-drunk driving ads.
Dazai throws back the rest of his drink when he sees him coming back, Adam's Apple bobbing. "Are you ready?" He+
Dazai throws back the rest of his drink when he sees him coming back, Adam's Apple bobbing. "Are you ready?" He+
asks.
(Ready for anything you'll give me, Chuuya thinks near-hysterically--.)
He nods.
/Again/,with the hand on his back and god,it feels /so/ close to where Chuuya would like it to be, only a few inches away from bare skin, and he's on the verge of /tears/ with desperation.+
(Ready for anything you'll give me, Chuuya thinks near-hysterically--.)
He nods.
/Again/,with the hand on his back and god,it feels /so/ close to where Chuuya would like it to be, only a few inches away from bare skin, and he's on the verge of /tears/ with desperation.+
Dazai opens his door for him again, and Chuuya slides in with a murmured thanks, taking the moment to brace himself for the ride home--
And he's glad he did, because not /only/ does Dazai look delicious as he slides into his seat, but as soon as he's done reversing out of his+
And he's glad he did, because not /only/ does Dazai look delicious as he slides into his seat, but as soon as he's done reversing out of his+
spot, his free hand drifts over the space between them, bridging the distance between them--
And settles on Chuuya's thigh, silver rings pressing into him.
Chuuya is /gone/. His heartbeat feels too big for his skin, and he's so hot he actually needs to roll down the window so +
And settles on Chuuya's thigh, silver rings pressing into him.
Chuuya is /gone/. His heartbeat feels too big for his skin, and he's so hot he actually needs to roll down the window so +
he can breathe again, and the feeling of Dazai's thumb stroking up and down, never climbing higher than where he started but he wish it /was/, is filling him with so much tension he could /snap/.
He wishes he had worn shorts or something because /please/, wants that on his bare+
He wishes he had worn shorts or something because /please/, wants that on his bare+
skin, wants it higher, /harder/.
God, /please/, he'll do anything--
He doesn't remember the ride back. Hopes Dazai hadn't said anything to him, because he's not sure if he can communicate in anything other than ridiculously horny gurgles. Hopes he hasn't made a fool out of +
God, /please/, he'll do anything--
He doesn't remember the ride back. Hopes Dazai hadn't said anything to him, because he's not sure if he can communicate in anything other than ridiculously horny gurgles. Hopes he hasn't made a fool out of +
himself, because he wants more, wants Dazai to give him more, wants Dazai to /want/ to want to give him more--
The car stops, and his vision clears, and Chuuya quickly comes to one, sudden, unfortunate realization:
The date is over. He's home, and Dazai is walking across the +
The car stops, and his vision clears, and Chuuya quickly comes to one, sudden, unfortunate realization:
The date is over. He's home, and Dazai is walking across the +
front of the car to let him out, and he doesn't /want/ it to be over.
He wants to keep driving. Or go see a movie, or, or--
Or be taken home, because he doesn't want this to /end/, he wants more time with Dazai, more touches, more looks, /anything/.
The door opens, and he has+
He wants to keep driving. Or go see a movie, or, or--
Or be taken home, because he doesn't want this to /end/, he wants more time with Dazai, more touches, more looks, /anything/.
The door opens, and he has+
no choice but to stumble out.
The cold air clears his head a little bit, calms him down. At least, he can think about something else rather than the ghost of Dazai's hand on his thigh.
He turns around, expecting a goodbye or Dazai to already be walking away--
Except he's not.+
The cold air clears his head a little bit, calms him down. At least, he can think about something else rather than the ghost of Dazai's hand on his thigh.
He turns around, expecting a goodbye or Dazai to already be walking away--
Except he's not.+
He's leaning up against the car with his legs spread wide, dropping him down a few centimeters. His hands are in his pockets, and he's watching Chuuya with a steady, intense gaze.
They stare at each other for a long, breathless moment.
When he can't take it anymore, Chuuya +
They stare at each other for a long, breathless moment.
When he can't take it anymore, Chuuya +
swallows hard, mouth dry. "Thank you, for dinner. I had a good time."
Dazai's smile is slow, self-satisfied. Smug and a /little/ arrogant, but Chuuya will overlook it because he looks /so/ damn good. "Yeah?" he purrs, "I'm glad."
He really does look glad too, like he wanted +
Dazai's smile is slow, self-satisfied. Smug and a /little/ arrogant, but Chuuya will overlook it because he looks /so/ damn good. "Yeah?" he purrs, "I'm glad."
He really does look glad too, like he wanted +
nothing more than to make sure Chuuya had a good time.
Chuuya stands there a little awkwardly, not sure what he's supposed to do or /say/--
Dazai tilts his head. He doesn't move, but his voice seems to reach across the distance and grab Chuuya by the throat. "Can I kiss you?"+
Chuuya stands there a little awkwardly, not sure what he's supposed to do or /say/--
Dazai tilts his head. He doesn't move, but his voice seems to reach across the distance and grab Chuuya by the throat. "Can I kiss you?"+
Chuuya's world stops. His breath stalls in his chest, and his eyes are wide with shock and surprise. Dazai's gaze are pinning him in place like pins through a butterfly wings, spreading him open for his enjoyment.
He doesn't know what to say. Well, obviously, /yes/ but-- +
He doesn't know what to say. Well, obviously, /yes/ but-- +
He's a /little/ confused, because no one's asked him before. "Why are you asking? Shouldn't you just--" he gestures vaguely, "do it?"
Asking is nice, but it puts him on the spot a little, embarrasses him, espeically since Dazai will /not/ look away, not even for a second.
His+
Asking is nice, but it puts him on the spot a little, embarrasses him, espeically since Dazai will /not/ look away, not even for a second.
His+
answer makes a scowl cross Dazai's expression, and for a second, Chuuya is worried that he did something wrong--
Then it goes away, and instead Dazai is looking at him with faint concern.
(It hasn't gone away; it's just /hidden/, in how hard Dazai's jaw is clenched from the +
Then it goes away, and instead Dazai is looking at him with faint concern.
(It hasn't gone away; it's just /hidden/, in how hard Dazai's jaw is clenched from the +
/idea/ that someone taught him that his consent was unneccessary or an afterthought.)
"Baby," he sighs gently,and Chuuya's heart is skipping a beat, "people you don't know should /always/ ask you. Even people you are comfortable with should ask you."
Oh. Well, that seems weird+
"Baby," he sighs gently,and Chuuya's heart is skipping a beat, "people you don't know should /always/ ask you. Even people you are comfortable with should ask you."
Oh. Well, that seems weird+
to /Chuuya/, but he can see why that would be nice.
Then he has nothing left to stall with, and he /does/ want it, badly, so: "Okay."
Dazai tsks at him, expression fond. "You know I like to hear you say it."
He does know that, it's just /embarrassing/, especially with Dazai+
Then he has nothing left to stall with, and he /does/ want it, badly, so: "Okay."
Dazai tsks at him, expression fond. "You know I like to hear you say it."
He does know that, it's just /embarrassing/, especially with Dazai+
/staring him down/ like that. But he wants it enough to work through it, and so he squeezes his eyes shut and mumbles loud enough for Dazai to hear, "kiss me."
Then, as an afterthought, because he knows Dazai likes it when he's /polite/, "please."
Silence, fraught with tension+
Then, as an afterthought, because he knows Dazai likes it when he's /polite/, "please."
Silence, fraught with tension+
stretching endlessly between them.
Chuuya is expecting--
Well, based on past experiences,to be pushed back or grabbed roughly, or otherwise /pulled/ into a kiss. He doesn't even mind the idea, because the thought of Dazai's hands on him again is intoxicating enough--
Instead,+
Chuuya is expecting--
Well, based on past experiences,to be pushed back or grabbed roughly, or otherwise /pulled/ into a kiss. He doesn't even mind the idea, because the thought of Dazai's hands on him again is intoxicating enough--
Instead,+
fingers are gently wrapping around his wrist, coaxing him closer.
It's the easiest thing in the world to follow their lead, stumbling forward until he's caged between the warmth of Dazai's legs, spread wide enough for him to settle between perfectly.
His hand is brought up, +
It's the easiest thing in the world to follow their lead, stumbling forward until he's caged between the warmth of Dazai's legs, spread wide enough for him to settle between perfectly.
His hand is brought up, +
chest-level, /higher/, until Dazai is placing it on his own shoulder.
He grips the fabric of his jacket, thankful for something to hold onto as Dazai's fingers slide down his other arm, ticklishly light, over his elbow and down to his wrist.
He repeats the process until Chuuya+
He grips the fabric of his jacket, thankful for something to hold onto as Dazai's fingers slide down his other arm, ticklishly light, over his elbow and down to his wrist.
He repeats the process until Chuuya+
is standing there with both hands on his shoulders, hands flexing as he waits, face turned up, trembling.
This is it. Dazai's going to kiss him, right here, right now.
A hand slides across his back, pulling him /that/ much closer, and Chuuya is leaning in, leaning /up/, +
This is it. Dazai's going to kiss him, right here, right now.
A hand slides across his back, pulling him /that/ much closer, and Chuuya is leaning in, leaning /up/, +
closing the distance, so close and yet /so far/--
He can feel Dazai leaning in, hot breath washing over his face, sweet with chocolate and whiskey, intoxicating.
"Open your eyes. I want to see you," Dazai murmurs into the space between them, impossible to miss, impossible not+
He can feel Dazai leaning in, hot breath washing over his face, sweet with chocolate and whiskey, intoxicating.
"Open your eyes. I want to see you," Dazai murmurs into the space between them, impossible to miss, impossible not+
obey. "I want you to watch, the first time I kiss you."
/Fuck/.
Chuuya's eyes crack open immediately, and the first thing he sees is a dark gaze, inches from his face, drugging him with how intense and burning they are.
And they're getting closer.
Closer--
/Closer/-- +
/Fuck/.
Chuuya's eyes crack open immediately, and the first thing he sees is a dark gaze, inches from his face, drugging him with how intense and burning they are.
And they're getting closer.
Closer--
/Closer/-- +
And finally, /finally/, their lips press together.
It's /everything/.
Soft, chaste, gentle. Easy.
Chuuya's eyes flutter shut naturally on a soft sigh, one that's swallowed by Dazai. His lips are dry, but /good/, nothing like the forceful or too-abrupt kisses he's had before.+
It's /everything/.
Soft, chaste, gentle. Easy.
Chuuya's eyes flutter shut naturally on a soft sigh, one that's swallowed by Dazai. His lips are dry, but /good/, nothing like the forceful or too-abrupt kisses he's had before.+
It's good, of course it's good and then--
Dazai's hand firms on his back, pulling him close to his chest and supporting the natural curve of his back as he leans up to meet up him. His head tilts slightly, lips sliding across his in a motion Chuuya can't help but chase--
And +
Dazai's hand firms on his back, pulling him close to his chest and supporting the natural curve of his back as he leans up to meet up him. His head tilts slightly, lips sliding across his in a motion Chuuya can't help but chase--
And +
then it's /great/.
He doesn't even feel nervous,because he's too busy following after Dazai's movements like a man addicted, and Dazai is leading him beautifully.The kiss is slow at first, both of them just enjoying the slide of their lips together, the way their breath mingles+
He doesn't even feel nervous,because he's too busy following after Dazai's movements like a man addicted, and Dazai is leading him beautifully.The kiss is slow at first, both of them just enjoying the slide of their lips together, the way their breath mingles+
together, each breath hotter than the last.
Then Dazai's mouth opens a /little/ and Chuuya is getting a taste of the wet hidden behind his lips, and he's /shudering/, pushing upwards as high as he can, hands fisting in Dazai's jacket to drag him down, silently demanding he kiss+
Then Dazai's mouth opens a /little/ and Chuuya is getting a taste of the wet hidden behind his lips, and he's /shudering/, pushing upwards as high as he can, hands fisting in Dazai's jacket to drag him down, silently demanding he kiss+
him harder, deeper, /more/.
His enthusiasm seems to spur Dazai on,and at the same tome his tongue swipes torturously slow across his bottom lip, his fingers are sliding over his jaw, rough fingertips sparking tingling sensation, sliding further into his hair and cupping his jaw+
His enthusiasm seems to spur Dazai on,and at the same tome his tongue swipes torturously slow across his bottom lip, his fingers are sliding over his jaw, rough fingertips sparking tingling sensation, sliding further into his hair and cupping his jaw+
to tilt his head back for a better angle.
The double sensations make a soft noise rise in the back of Chuuya's throat, and /that/ seems like a breaking point for Dazai, because the /next/ kiss is harder, more forceful, backed by frantic energy and desire.
Chuuya's breath feels+
The double sensations make a soft noise rise in the back of Chuuya's throat, and /that/ seems like a breaking point for Dazai, because the /next/ kiss is harder, more forceful, backed by frantic energy and desire.
Chuuya's breath feels+
stolen straight from his lungs,replaced with fire and smoke, whiskey and chocolate. One of his hands slides up, finding the short hairs at the back of Dazai's head, making him shiver, then continuing up, up, until he can thread his fingers through Dazai's hair--god, it's just as+
soft as it /looks-- and /pulling/--
The rumble Dazai lets out sound more like a /growl/ and he's shifting downwards, adjusting the position of their mouths until he can suck Chuuya's bottom lip into his mouth on one, long, /perfect/ movement.
/Shit/.
Chuuya presses closer, +
The rumble Dazai lets out sound more like a /growl/ and he's shifting downwards, adjusting the position of their mouths until he can suck Chuuya's bottom lip into his mouth on one, long, /perfect/ movement.
/Shit/.
Chuuya presses closer, +
eyes rolling back in his head, and Dazai's thigh ends up naturally slotting between his own and--
/Fuck!/
Dazai sucks hard on his lip, tongue running over it, at the same time Chuuya's erection presses against the hard muscle of his thigh, and he shouldn't be this hard already+
/Fuck!/
Dazai sucks hard on his lip, tongue running over it, at the same time Chuuya's erection presses against the hard muscle of his thigh, and he shouldn't be this hard already+
or this needy already, but he is, he /is/.
Dazai sucks on his lip until the throbbing of his mouth matches the throbbing between his legs, and he doesn't even seem to care or notice that Chuuya is subtly grinding against him, because he's too busy sinking his teeth into his lip+
Dazai sucks on his lip until the throbbing of his mouth matches the throbbing between his legs, and he doesn't even seem to care or notice that Chuuya is subtly grinding against him, because he's too busy sinking his teeth into his lip+
with just enough force that it /almost/ hurts, driving him crazy.
Chuuya's panting into his mouth, melted in his hands, mind blank with static and desire. The only thing he can think of is /yes/, yeah, good, /please/--
He pulls back, making a shuddering, wanting noise when+
Chuuya's panting into his mouth, melted in his hands, mind blank with static and desire. The only thing he can think of is /yes/, yeah, good, /please/--
He pulls back, making a shuddering, wanting noise when+
Dazai doesn't immediately let him go, lip stretching until it stings. Dazai makes a soft, disappointed noise in the back of his throat as Chuuya pulls away, like he's taking away his favorite toy, and that's so fucking /cute/--
Then he lets go with a wet pop, and the /next/ +
Then he lets go with a wet pop, and the /next/ +
kiss Chuuya drags him into,he can actually feel his pout.
/How/ is he simultaneously adorable and ridiculously hot? It's not /fair/.
The wind blows then, cutting right through the thin fabric of his shirt and making him shiver, just a little bit. With how close they're pressed+
/How/ is he simultaneously adorable and ridiculously hot? It's not /fair/.
The wind blows then, cutting right through the thin fabric of his shirt and making him shiver, just a little bit. With how close they're pressed+
together, Dazai feels it.
He stands up straighter, pulling his hands away, and Chuuya is whimpering, clutching onto him tightly, he doesn't want it to be over, not /yet/, just a little longer--
But Dazai isn't breaking the kiss, he's just pulling off his jacket. A complicated+
He stands up straighter, pulling his hands away, and Chuuya is whimpering, clutching onto him tightly, he doesn't want it to be over, not /yet/, just a little longer--
But Dazai isn't breaking the kiss, he's just pulling off his jacket. A complicated+
task because he doesn't stop kissing him and Chuuya refuses to let him go too far, but he manages it after a few moments of fumbling.
Warmth covers his back as Dazai drapes the jacket over his shoulders, pulling the lapels tightly over his shoulders. Chuuya shivers, making a+
Warmth covers his back as Dazai drapes the jacket over his shoulders, pulling the lapels tightly over his shoulders. Chuuya shivers, making a+
happy, content sigh that Dazai swallows whole.
With the edges of his jacket in hand, Dazai brings him with as he leans back against the car, pressing them as close together as they can.
Surrounded by Dazai's warmth, large hands on him and keeping him grounded even as he feels+
With the edges of his jacket in hand, Dazai brings him with as he leans back against the car, pressing them as close together as they can.
Surrounded by Dazai's warmth, large hands on him and keeping him grounded even as he feels+
like he's flying away, braced with his strong thighs beneath him, their mouths moving together--
Chuuya feels invincible. Untouchable. Like the whole world could come crashing down around them but as long as Dazai was here, was holding him, he knows he'll be alright.
Like+
Chuuya feels invincible. Untouchable. Like the whole world could come crashing down around them but as long as Dazai was here, was holding him, he knows he'll be alright.
Like+
nothing else matters. Just them, just Dazai, just kissing him until he's breathless.
The reminder of how late it is somehow makes the kiss slow down from something frantic into something more languid and indulgent. Long, slow movements of their mouths, a teasing nip at Chuuya's+
The reminder of how late it is somehow makes the kiss slow down from something frantic into something more languid and indulgent. Long, slow movements of their mouths, a teasing nip at Chuuya's+
lip that he doesn't follow up on.
It's a natural, easy progression to slow and soft and easy, and even though there's still a burning, fiery desperation within him, he doesn't feel neglected and he doesn't like it any less.
In fact, he likes this /just/ as much, being so close+
It's a natural, easy progression to slow and soft and easy, and even though there's still a burning, fiery desperation within him, he doesn't feel neglected and he doesn't like it any less.
In fact, he likes this /just/ as much, being so close+
to him and breathing in his air, just /enjoying/ him.
He doesn't know how long they stand there kissing. At some point, his hands have wound up in Dazai's hair, alternating between tugging on the soft strands, and rubbing his fingers over the soft undercut, smiling whenever he+
He doesn't know how long they stand there kissing. At some point, his hands have wound up in Dazai's hair, alternating between tugging on the soft strands, and rubbing his fingers over the soft undercut, smiling whenever he+
makes Dazai shiver and hum pleasantly against him.
Chuuya's phone beeps, an alarm for ten p.m. that he'd set up for midterms week so he could go to bed on time, and he's reminded that, even though it /feels/ like the whole world has stopped, that doesn't mean it /has/. +
Chuuya's phone beeps, an alarm for ten p.m. that he'd set up for midterms week so he could go to bed on time, and he's reminded that, even though it /feels/ like the whole world has stopped, that doesn't mean it /has/. +
He sighs, responsibilities tugging at the back of his mind. And even though he feels wired right now, with Dazai's hands on him, he knows that he'll crash hard as soon as he takes a moment to stop.
Pulling back to get just enough space to whisper against Dazai's lips, he says,+
Pulling back to get just enough space to whisper against Dazai's lips, he says,+
"I should go."
"Mmm," Dazai hums gently, hands reeling him back in, "probably."
But the way he pulls Chuuya into another kiss, this one even more languid than the last, says he's not ready to let him go just yet.
Chuuya's not complaining, sinking against him and letting him+
"Mmm," Dazai hums gently, hands reeling him back in, "probably."
But the way he pulls Chuuya into another kiss, this one even more languid than the last, says he's not ready to let him go just yet.
Chuuya's not complaining, sinking against him and letting him+
kiss him breathless.
Eventually, the kiss slows to a stop, and they spend just a moment there, enjoying the catch of their lips together and their shared breaths.
Then, with a sigh like Dazai is being tormented, he lets go of Chuuya entirely. "Alright," he mutters, "I'll +
Eventually, the kiss slows to a stop, and they spend just a moment there, enjoying the catch of their lips together and their shared breaths.
Then, with a sigh like Dazai is being tormented, he lets go of Chuuya entirely. "Alright," he mutters, "I'll +
let you go now."
The tiny grumble in his voice, like letting him go is a terrible thing to do, makes Chuuya smile. His lips are tingly.
He takes a step back, moving to take the jacket off so he can hand it back--
"Don't," Dazai says, stopping him in his tracks, hands reaching+
The tiny grumble in his voice, like letting him go is a terrible thing to do, makes Chuuya smile. His lips are tingly.
He takes a step back, moving to take the jacket off so he can hand it back--
"Don't," Dazai says, stopping him in his tracks, hands reaching+
out to carefully adjust the lapels over his shoulders. He brushes his hands down the length of it, subtly dipping his fingers into one of the pockets without Chuuya noticing. “Keep it.”
Chuuya flushes, and he shouldn’t be so worked up about something so small after the make out+
Chuuya flushes, and he shouldn’t be so worked up about something so small after the make out+
session they had, but he is. “Okay. Thanks.”
The smile he gets in return looks so much sweeter, now that he knows what it tastes like. “It was my pleasure, believe me.”
Then there’s nothing left to say, nothing he can use to prolong their contact— besides ‘wanna make out in+
The smile he gets in return looks so much sweeter, now that he knows what it tastes like. “It was my pleasure, believe me.”
Then there’s nothing left to say, nothing he can use to prolong their contact— besides ‘wanna make out in+
your car until I lose my mind?’— so he ducks his head and murmurs, “Good night.”
“Good night, sweetheart.”
The walk away is cold, and he feels like he’s leaving something behind. He looks back twice, and each time Dazai is exactly where he left him, leaning against his car and+
“Good night, sweetheart.”
The walk away is cold, and he feels like he’s leaving something behind. He looks back twice, and each time Dazai is exactly where he left him, leaning against his car and+
watching him go with steady eyes and a lopsided smile.
He’s the one who leaves sight first.
The dorms are quiet when he returns, everyone either passed out from midterms slump or not home at all. He feels like he’s walking on air as he makes his way up to his room, nose buried+
He’s the one who leaves sight first.
The dorms are quiet when he returns, everyone either passed out from midterms slump or not home at all. He feels like he’s walking on air as he makes his way up to his room, nose buried+
in the lapel of Dazai’s coat to breathe in the warm, sharp smell of him, like ice in whiskey, frost on pine needles.
Nikolai isnt home, for which he’s glad because he immediately falls into bed when he comes in, curling up in Dazai’s jacket with a giddy, ecstatic smile.
This+
Nikolai isnt home, for which he’s glad because he immediately falls into bed when he comes in, curling up in Dazai’s jacket with a giddy, ecstatic smile.
This+
was what he was looking for. The butterflies, the happiness, the warmth and light.
All that time he was searching for it with Shuuji, pushing himself harder and harder, but the one who /gave/ it to him was Dazai.
And it was easy, beautifully easy. Simple, no pressure, no+
All that time he was searching for it with Shuuji, pushing himself harder and harder, but the one who /gave/ it to him was Dazai.
And it was easy, beautifully easy. Simple, no pressure, no+
expectations, no reason to be scared or uncomfortable.
It just... was.
When Chuuya moves, something crinkles in the jacket pocket.
Curious, he digs into the pocket— if Dazai didn’t want him to look or find something, he wouldn’t have let him keep the jacket— and pulls out+
It just... was.
When Chuuya moves, something crinkles in the jacket pocket.
Curious, he digs into the pocket— if Dazai didn’t want him to look or find something, he wouldn’t have let him keep the jacket— and pulls out+
a crinkled piece of paper, folded up haphazardly.
He unfolds it, only to find a number printed on with with Dazai’s name scrawled messily underneath.
When did he have time to write this? When did he have time to slip it into the pocket? While they were kissing?
Either way,+
He unfolds it, only to find a number printed on with with Dazai’s name scrawled messily underneath.
When did he have time to write this? When did he have time to slip it into the pocket? While they were kissing?
Either way,+
he has his /number/ now. And even that was easier than ever, because he didn’t have to /ask/ or was locked in a car until he shared his own. He didn’t share his own number, which means—
The ball is in his court. He can text Dazai or not, and it’s completely up to him.
Whipping+
The ball is in his court. He can text Dazai or not, and it’s completely up to him.
Whipping+
out his phone, he navigates to his contacts. He’s not going to call right /now/, but he doesn’t want to risk losing this tiny, precious piece of paper.
Once he inputs the number, he comes across the next problem: contact name.
He can’t exactly put it as ‘Dazai Osamu’ because+
Once he inputs the number, he comes across the next problem: contact name.
He can’t exactly put it as ‘Dazai Osamu’ because+
he doesn’t want anyone to accidentally find out that he’s texting Dazai. He’s not /hiding/ him, he’s just...
Waiting for a better time to tell everyone.
He doesn’t want to put a random name, because that’ll be confusing—
His eyes snag on the last contact dialed: ‘Dad’. +
Waiting for a better time to tell everyone.
He doesn’t want to put a random name, because that’ll be confusing—
His eyes snag on the last contact dialed: ‘Dad’. +
And, well—
It’s simple, easy to explain and he’s seen it before on movies so—
Why the hell not?
[ CONTACT SAVED: Daddy 💕🥰 ]
His face /is/ on fire, but it’s not like Dazai will ever see it, so it’s okay. He’s just being /sneaky/.
He throws the paper away, ripping it+
It’s simple, easy to explain and he’s seen it before on movies so—
Why the hell not?
[ CONTACT SAVED: Daddy 💕🥰 ]
His face /is/ on fire, but it’s not like Dazai will ever see it, so it’s okay. He’s just being /sneaky/.
He throws the paper away, ripping it+
into pieces so it’s impossible to read.
Settling back into bed, he decides to check his social media’s before getting ready for sleep.
This is a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake.
Because as he’s scrolling through Snapchat stories, clicking through the boring ones, he+
Settling back into bed, he decides to check his social media’s before getting ready for sleep.
This is a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake.
Because as he’s scrolling through Snapchat stories, clicking through the boring ones, he+
stumbles upon Yuan’s story. She went to the party he was going to, so he checks it out out of morbid curiosity, wondering exactly what he missed.
No way would he ever wish that he went to the party instead of dinner with Dazai, but a masochistic part of him wants to /know/.
+
No way would he ever wish that he went to the party instead of dinner with Dazai, but a masochistic part of him wants to /know/.
+
Truthfully, it looks a little boring, with the typical crowd of teenagers yelling and drinking together. Most of the fun there is in the alcohol, and Chuuya does like parties, but he’s glad he didn’t go.
Then, he sees it, in the back, clearly not meant to be photographed:
+
Then, he sees it, in the back, clearly not meant to be photographed:
+
Shuuji, in a back corner, with his hands in a girls hair and their lips pressed together.
Oh.
Oddly enough, he doesn’t feel that broken up about it. Yeah, it kind of sucks that Shuuji stood him up to make out with a girl, and there is a part of him that’s hurt by that but— +
Oh.
Oddly enough, he doesn’t feel that broken up about it. Yeah, it kind of sucks that Shuuji stood him up to make out with a girl, and there is a part of him that’s hurt by that but— +
A larger part of him is still floating somewhere in the atmosphere, made light by the remembrance of being with Dazai.
Yeah, It sucks, but you know what?
Chuuya thinks he came out on the better side of this deal.
And at least he doesn’t have a reason to feel bad for +
Yeah, It sucks, but you know what?
Chuuya thinks he came out on the better side of this deal.
And at least he doesn’t have a reason to feel bad for +
kissing his dad, right?
Now they’re even. Well, sort of—
Chuuya still wins.
And maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t have a reason to feel bad about going /further/ with Dazai.
Because now that he’s got a taste?
He’s /addicted/.
——— +
Now they’re even. Well, sort of—
Chuuya still wins.
And maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t have a reason to feel bad about going /further/ with Dazai.
Because now that he’s got a taste?
He’s /addicted/.
——— +
The problem, Chuuya decides, is that he doesn't know what to say. If it were somebody his age, he'd probably start with a simple emoji or a meme, or something else equally simple and relatable.
But Dazai /isn't/ his age, and somehow that makes the idea of sending the man a +
But Dazai /isn't/ his age, and somehow that makes the idea of sending the man a +
peach emoji or a twitter link feels...wrong. Like he's breaking some sort of unspoken rule.
Of course, he could start off with a simple 'hey it's Chuuya' which isn't /bad/, it's just lackluster. He should probably mention the date, but /how/?
'Hey, it's Chuuya, I had a really +
Of course, he could start off with a simple 'hey it's Chuuya' which isn't /bad/, it's just lackluster. He should probably mention the date, but /how/?
'Hey, it's Chuuya, I had a really +
good time at dinner and then grinding against your leg after, wanna do it again sometime'? 'Hey, it's Chuuya, it was nice getting up close and personal with you tongue'?
('Hey, it's Chuuya, please kiss me again.')
Everything he comes up with is either too casual, too awkward +
('Hey, it's Chuuya, please kiss me again.')
Everything he comes up with is either too casual, too awkward +
too immature, or only funny in his half-hysterical mind.
He doesn't want to be awkward or immature. He wants to be what /Dazai/ wants, and a messed up text feels like the end of the world right now. Like he has to say the exact right thing or he'll mess up his chance.
'Hi +
He doesn't want to be awkward or immature. He wants to be what /Dazai/ wants, and a messed up text feels like the end of the world right now. Like he has to say the exact right thing or he'll mess up his chance.
'Hi +
Dazai, I miss you’? Too forward.
‘Dear Dazai’. What is he writing, a letter in the 18th century? /No/.
‘Hi daddy 🥺’. Absolutely fucking not.
It’s just so /frustrating/ and hard, even though it feels like it shouldn’t be, and he went on a /date/— did he really though? Dazai+
‘Dear Dazai’. What is he writing, a letter in the 18th century? /No/.
‘Hi daddy 🥺’. Absolutely fucking not.
It’s just so /frustrating/ and hard, even though it feels like it shouldn’t be, and he went on a /date/— did he really though? Dazai+
said it /could/ be a date, not that it inherently was and Chuuya never verbally expressed a preference either way— with the man, so why is just texting him so /hard/?
(Don’t even get him started on the idea of calling him. Is the idea appealing? Yes. Does he miss the sound of+
(Don’t even get him started on the idea of calling him. Is the idea appealing? Yes. Does he miss the sound of+
his voice? Sure. Is he dying to hear what Dazai sounds like on the phone? Maybe a little bit.
Does he have /any/ idea about what to say? No.
Will hé hang up out of sheer nerves before he can say anything and then never be able to call him again? Maybe.)
The point is, he +
Does he have /any/ idea about what to say? No.
Will hé hang up out of sheer nerves before he can say anything and then never be able to call him again? Maybe.)
The point is, he +
goes round and round with worse and worse options, and he’s about to /scream/ because it’s the afternoon of the second day after and he’s /losing his chance/—
When it occurs to him.
He still has Dazai’s coat /and/ his shirt. And he might not be good at /talking/— a first— but+
When it occurs to him.
He still has Dazai’s coat /and/ his shirt. And he might not be good at /talking/— a first— but+
he /is/ good at looking pretty.
And who doesn’t like a good selfie? Dazai will need one for his contact picture anyways, he’s just thinking /ahead/. Being proactive.
He takes over an hour to make sure his makeup is done well, and his hair looks manageable.
Then he goes+
And who doesn’t like a good selfie? Dazai will need one for his contact picture anyways, he’s just thinking /ahead/. Being proactive.
He takes over an hour to make sure his makeup is done well, and his hair looks manageable.
Then he goes+
about taking pictures, which includes shifting the lighting, trying out different poses, jacket on, jacket off—
Eventually his eye makeup turns out to be irrelevant, because he settles on a picture that starts just below his nose, highlighting his small smile, the way the+
Eventually his eye makeup turns out to be irrelevant, because he settles on a picture that starts just below his nose, highlighting his small smile, the way the+
shirt slips off his collarbone /just/ so, the sleeves of the jacket riding low on his arms, just high enough to be seen. He’s utilitized the sun, and the spill of sunlight turns his hair to fiery gold.
It’s subtle, a little teasing, not /too/ much/—
He sends it off, pairing +
It’s subtle, a little teasing, not /too/ much/—
He sends it off, pairing +
it with a “your clothes are way too big for me, I’ll have to return them soon”—
And immediately regrets it, throwing his phone to the end of the bed as hot embarrassment fills him. He presses his face into the pillow, fighting off the urge to scream.
It was too much. It was+
And immediately regrets it, throwing his phone to the end of the bed as hot embarrassment fills him. He presses his face into the pillow, fighting off the urge to scream.
It was too much. It was+
/way/ too much and he didn’t even say his /name/, he just sent him some half-finished selfie like a /weirdo/.He should’ve done something /else/ instead of letting himself get carried away by the idea of looking good for him, this is all going so terribly wrong—
His phone beeps.+
His phone beeps.+
He drags the pillow down from his face, peering down at his phone like it might bite him.
Okay, that’s /probably/ him. Everyone else who would be texting him is studying or eating right now.
If it /is/ someone else, he’s gonna kill them, because his heart is pounding in his+
Okay, that’s /probably/ him. Everyone else who would be texting him is studying or eating right now.
If it /is/ someone else, he’s gonna kill them, because his heart is pounding in his+
throat and he feels like he swallows the sun, buzzing with heat and energy.
Fingers creeping down the bed, he decides just to /check/, flipping it over so he can see the screen—
/It’s him/.
Oh god, okay, it’s happening, they’re /talking/, maybe this isn’t so /hard/. +
Fingers creeping down the bed, he decides just to /check/, flipping it over so he can see the screen—
/It’s him/.
Oh god, okay, it’s happening, they’re /talking/, maybe this isn’t so /hard/. +
He types the code in slowly, fighting to stay in bed when he feels like he needs to jump up, go for a run, do /anything/ to dispel all this energy inside him—
[ Daddy 💕🥰 ]: I think they look better on you, though.
!!!!!!!!
Chuuya is smiling so big his face hurts, and he’s+
[ Daddy 💕🥰 ]: I think they look better on you, though.
!!!!!!!!
Chuuya is smiling so big his face hurts, and he’s+
once again glad that Nikolai is at work--he works /so/ much, it seems like he's barely even here, it's almost like Chuuya has the dorm to himself-- because he doesn't want to explain why he's blushing and smothering his giddy grin into a too-big jacket.
[ Daddy 💕🥰]: Hello, by+
[ Daddy 💕🥰]: Hello, by+
the way.
Ah, fuck it. Texting isn't fast enough, isn't /good/ enough, isn't present enough--
With a bravery fuelled by the excitement of finally getting to /talk/ to Dazai again, he presses the call button.
The phone rings once, twice. Anticipation builds to the breaking+
Ah, fuck it. Texting isn't fast enough, isn't /good/ enough, isn't present enough--
With a bravery fuelled by the excitement of finally getting to /talk/ to Dazai again, he presses the call button.
The phone rings once, twice. Anticipation builds to the breaking+
point, pulling Chuuya's chest tight.
/Finally/, midway through the third ring,the phone clicks. There's a brief sound of wind rushing, like Dazai is outside, before the sound quiets down.
Then, a little rough and lower than normal on the phone, faintly amused: "Hello, Chuuya."+
/Finally/, midway through the third ring,the phone clicks. There's a brief sound of wind rushing, like Dazai is outside, before the sound quiets down.
Then, a little rough and lower than normal on the phone, faintly amused: "Hello, Chuuya."+
Maybe Chuuya’s breathy “Hi” is a little too obviously excited, but the warm chuckle he gets in response makes every ounce of embarrassment worth it.
“Aren’t you supposed to be studying?”
Chuuya wrinkles his nose at the phone at the reminder. He mentioned it /once/, briefly, +
“Aren’t you supposed to be studying?”
Chuuya wrinkles his nose at the phone at the reminder. He mentioned it /once/, briefly, +
during the first car ride,that he usually uses Sundays as a revision day to go over all information he needs to practice.He never expected Dazai to reminder that tiny,useless detail, but the fact that he /did/...
If he gets any warmer, he might just burst into flashed entirely.+
If he gets any warmer, he might just burst into flashed entirely.+
“I have been—,” it’s true, he’s been oscillating between panicking over what to say to Dazai and frantically distracting himself with math all morning, “— I’m just taking a break right now.”
Dazai hums, and behind that, Chuuya can hear the rustle of clothing and the vague click+
Dazai hums, and behind that, Chuuya can hear the rustle of clothing and the vague click+
of something metallic. “And your reward to yourself for being good was to call me?”
It’s not like Chuuya /forgets/ Dazai’s affect on him, he just never gets used to it. Everytime they talk, it’s like Dazai gets /better/ at playing him, like all the memories of feelings join +
It’s not like Chuuya /forgets/ Dazai’s affect on him, he just never gets used to it. Everytime they talk, it’s like Dazai gets /better/ at playing him, like all the memories of feelings join +
what he feels /now/, compounding into a swirling, heady mess that pushes him higher. Makes him feel better, makes him crave /more/.
And when Dazai puts it /that/ way, like Chuuya is being good so he deserves a /reward/—
He wants one. Badly.
He makes a vague assenting+
And when Dazai puts it /that/ way, like Chuuya is being good so he deserves a /reward/—
He wants one. Badly.
He makes a vague assenting+
noise before the continued noises on the other side gather his curiosity. “What are you doing?”
“I—,” Dazai grunts a little, clearly straining against something, “am doing research for a case I’m working on.”
(It’s a vague truth, but the truth. He’s actually been lying on his+
“I—,” Dazai grunts a little, clearly straining against something, “am doing research for a case I’m working on.”
(It’s a vague truth, but the truth. He’s actually been lying on his+
belly on top of a roof with his eye to the scope of his rifle, watching crates get loaded into the Rats new warehouse. They’re unmarked and no one is stupid enough to open one outside, so he doesn’t know what’s in them.
Yet.
But beyond setting up a few cameras and listening+
Yet.
But beyond setting up a few cameras and listening+
devices, there’s nothing more to be done today.
And if Chuuya has been good, and /he’s/ been good...
They deserve a reward, don’t they?
So, as he continues breaking down the rifle and stores it in the modified case for it:)
“Have you eaten yet?” +
And if Chuuya has been good, and /he’s/ been good...
They deserve a reward, don’t they?
So, as he continues breaking down the rifle and stores it in the modified case for it:)
“Have you eaten yet?” +
Chuuya has a choice here:
He can reveal that he stress ate nearly half a dozen melon pan a little over an hour ago, and he’s not hungry anymore.
Or, he can see where Dazai is going with this, where he /hopes/ he’s going with this.
“Nope! I was just about to get lunch+
He can reveal that he stress ate nearly half a dozen melon pan a little over an hour ago, and he’s not hungry anymore.
Or, he can see where Dazai is going with this, where he /hopes/ he’s going with this.
“Nope! I was just about to get lunch+
in a little bit. Why?”
“I’m getting /hungry/—“ the way Dazai says that particularly word, voice dropping, makes Chuuya shiver “— so would you like to go to lunch with me? My treat.”
Chuuya agrees so quickly he nearly cuts Dazai off before he’s speaking. His face is red again—+
“I’m getting /hungry/—“ the way Dazai says that particularly word, voice dropping, makes Chuuya shiver “— so would you like to go to lunch with me? My treat.”
Chuuya agrees so quickly he nearly cuts Dazai off before he’s speaking. His face is red again—+
or maybe it never /stopped/ being red— but he can’t tell if that’s because he’s embarrassed, or because of the way Dazai is laughing again, husky and warm.
Even over the phone, it feels like music to his ears, electricity down his spine. He likes when he laughs.
“Wonderful. +
Even over the phone, it feels like music to his ears, electricity down his spine. He likes when he laughs.
“Wonderful. +
I can be there in an hour?”
Chuuya nods,almost forgetting that Dazai can’t see him right now.That gives him enough time to try on a few outfits before forcing himself to settle on one,experience a little pre-date nerves and obsessively touch up his makeup. “That’s good for me.”+
Chuuya nods,almost forgetting that Dazai can’t see him right now.That gives him enough time to try on a few outfits before forcing himself to settle on one,experience a little pre-date nerves and obsessively touch up his makeup. “That’s good for me.”+
(That also gives Dazai enough time to take his guns home and swap outfits. And enough time to decide if he wants to pick him up in his car— the dazed look he got on his face when he had his hand on his thigh was /deliciously/ adorable—
Or the bike, where he can feel every inch+
Or the bike, where he can feel every inch+
of them pressed together.
Of course, he’d have to stop to get him a helmet, and probably a leather jacket too. Safety first, kids.
Maybe he could convince him to ride in front this time. He’s small enough and the bike is big enough that Dazai could manage it.
He’d be lying+
Of course, he’d have to stop to get him a helmet, and probably a leather jacket too. Safety first, kids.
Maybe he could convince him to ride in front this time. He’s small enough and the bike is big enough that Dazai could manage it.
He’d be lying+
if he said he wasn’t interested to see what his reaction would be when he felt Dazai behind him, over him, all around him.
He’s so sweetly, eagerly responsive— Dazai /did/ notice that cute little grinding against his thigh after a tiny bit of kissing— and it really just makes+
He’s so sweetly, eagerly responsive— Dazai /did/ notice that cute little grinding against his thigh after a tiny bit of kissing— and it really just makes+
him wonder what Chuuya will be like once Dazai /really/ gets his hands on him.
When he’s /really/ touching him.
He’s glad he’s a patient man, otherwise it would be difficult to keep his hands to himself, to build him up into it.)
“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”
The way Dazai+
When he’s /really/ touching him.
He’s glad he’s a patient man, otherwise it would be difficult to keep his hands to himself, to build him up into it.)
“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”
The way Dazai+
hésitâtes for a moment before hanging up implies he doesn’t want to stop talking yet, which sends another round of butterflies through Chuuya’s stomach.
It’s the little things that make Chuuya so /wanted/.
The phone goes dead though after he murmurs his own goodbye, and he+
It’s the little things that make Chuuya so /wanted/.
The phone goes dead though after he murmurs his own goodbye, and he+
holds it to his ear for a long moment, just drinking in the silence and grinning like an idiot.
Then it’s time to get /ready/.
He does end up changing his outfit a few times before ending up on a pair of ripped skinny jeans that show hints of skin at his thighs and shins. For+
Then it’s time to get /ready/.
He does end up changing his outfit a few times before ending up on a pair of ripped skinny jeans that show hints of skin at his thighs and shins. For+
shoes, he goes with the same boots Yuan lent him— he hasn’t talked to Yuan or Shuuji since the party, and he doesn’t know if that’s because they’re busy or if they /know/, but either way, he still has the boots.
Cropped shirt to show a little skin (his goal here is to tempt +
Cropped shirt to show a little skin (his goal here is to tempt +
Dazai as much as possible. He wants to be kissed again. Wants to be kissed a /lot/. Maybe even more than kissed—) and his red jacket, and the outfit is complete.
By the time he’s done fussing with his makeup— and it makes him feel /so/ nice that Dazai doesn’t even blink when+
By the time he’s done fussing with his makeup— and it makes him feel /so/ nice that Dazai doesn’t even blink when+
he wears more obvious makeup. Shuuji looked at him a bit funny the first time, and even though he never /said/ anything, he always gave the impression that he thought it was a bit strange. Like he didn’t understand it— it’s almost been an hour.
He can’t sit in his dorm for the+
He can’t sit in his dorm for the+
remaining 15 minutes, so he heads downstairs to wait where Dazai dropped him off the first time. He can sit on the bench and just wait until he shows up, and it’s okay if he’s a little bit late, he doesn’t mind—
Except when he gets down there, Dazai is already there, waiting. +
Except when he gets down there, Dazai is already there, waiting. +
He’s leaning against his motorcycle,phone in one hand as he waits patiently. It looks like he was just going to wait the fifteen minutes until the hour was up without a single complaint.
Hanging off one of the handlebars by the chinstrap is the helmet Chuuya wore the first time+
Hanging off one of the handlebars by the chinstrap is the helmet Chuuya wore the first time+
he rode the bike with him.
In his other hand, propped against his hip is another helmet. This one smaller, shiny with how new it is and it’s not /exactly/ the same as Dazai’s customized helmet, it is the same color and the same shape.
/Matching/.
Dazai himself looks good,+
In his other hand, propped against his hip is another helmet. This one smaller, shiny with how new it is and it’s not /exactly/ the same as Dazai’s customized helmet, it is the same color and the same shape.
/Matching/.
Dazai himself looks good,+
shoulders impossibly broad in a leather jacket. Black jeans that hug his thighs and /god/, those knee high boots are back, ones that make Dazai look like he could crack skulls in.
Even from here, Chuuya can see the glint of rings on his fingers.
He approaches, trying to be as+
Even from here, Chuuya can see the glint of rings on his fingers.
He approaches, trying to be as+
casual as possible even though he can hardly breathe and he’s almost certain he’s got hearts in his eyes.
“Hey,” he calls when he gets a little bit closer, heart tripping in his chest as the way Dazai immediately looks up, eyes warm.
He shuts his phone on and slips it into his+
“Hey,” he calls when he gets a little bit closer, heart tripping in his chest as the way Dazai immediately looks up, eyes warm.
He shuts his phone on and slips it into his+
pocket, instantly giving Chuuya all of his attention. “Hello, doll. You look beautiful today.”
He says it so /easy/, like it’s not even a compliment, it’s just the truth, and god, it fills Chuuya with fire everytime. It’s not /fair/, so easily he can send his heart racing.+
He says it so /easy/, like it’s not even a compliment, it’s just the truth, and god, it fills Chuuya with fire everytime. It’s not /fair/, so easily he can send his heart racing.+
Still, he can’t help the big smile, the way his head ducks a little, embarrassed. “Thank you,” he mutters, then, “I like your jacket.”
That’s a lie. He loves the jacket. Wishes he could see him without the shirt and /just/ the jacket. Wishes he could get his hands on him /in/ +
That’s a lie. He loves the jacket. Wishes he could see him without the shirt and /just/ the jacket. Wishes he could get his hands on him /in/ +
the jacket.
The smirk Dazai gives him is /wicked/. “Thank you.”
Swallowing hard, Chuuya changes the subject because he’s pretty sure they’re never going to /leave/ the parking lot if Dazai doesn’t stop staring at him like that. “So— the bike today?”
“Yup,” Dazai says, +
The smirk Dazai gives him is /wicked/. “Thank you.”
Swallowing hard, Chuuya changes the subject because he’s pretty sure they’re never going to /leave/ the parking lot if Dazai doesn’t stop staring at him like that. “So— the bike today?”
“Yup,” Dazai says, +
lifting the second helmet to show it to him, “got you something.”
Money isn’t a worry for Dazai but still just the idea that he went out and bought Chuuya his /own/ helmet makes him feel like he’s losing his mind in the best way. It implies that Dazai wants more than just /two/+
Money isn’t a worry for Dazai but still just the idea that he went out and bought Chuuya his /own/ helmet makes him feel like he’s losing his mind in the best way. It implies that Dazai wants more than just /two/+
dates out of him.
They haven’t talked about /this/ and Chuuya is nervous to bring it up himself, but he likes the way things are going so far.
He reaches for the helmet, but Dazai holds it out of his reach teasingly.
With a grin that Chuuya can feel in his /stomach/, Dazai+
They haven’t talked about /this/ and Chuuya is nervous to bring it up himself, but he likes the way things are going so far.
He reaches for the helmet, but Dazai holds it out of his reach teasingly.
With a grin that Chuuya can feel in his /stomach/, Dazai+
curls his finger at him, coaxing him closer.
He takes one step. Two.
Three, and he’s standing firmly between Dazai’s legs, just like the other night, and he’s staring up at him with huge eyes, heart racing and blood turning molten at just the reminder.
He wants to be kissed.+
He takes one step. Two.
Three, and he’s standing firmly between Dazai’s legs, just like the other night, and he’s staring up at him with huge eyes, heart racing and blood turning molten at just the reminder.
He wants to be kissed.+
Silently begs him, one hand falling to Dazai’s thigh.
/Please kiss me, kiss me, ask me, please—/
But Dazai just gently brushes his bangs out of his face, and carefully lowers the helmet onto his head.
The world goes oppressively silent for a second before the padding pops+
/Please kiss me, kiss me, ask me, please—/
But Dazai just gently brushes his bangs out of his face, and carefully lowers the helmet onto his head.
The world goes oppressively silent for a second before the padding pops+
over his ears and he can hear again.
Then he’s force to stare at Dazai through the darkened screen of his visor as he adjusts all the straps and carefully locks the helmet in place.
“Feels good?” He asks, rapping his knuckles lightly on the side. The sound is muffled by the+
Then he’s force to stare at Dazai through the darkened screen of his visor as he adjusts all the straps and carefully locks the helmet in place.
“Feels good?” He asks, rapping his knuckles lightly on the side. The sound is muffled by the+
helmet, but only just.
He nods. This helmet isn’t as heavy, and it’s not loose. The strap digs lightly into his chin, but that seems normal.
“No bobble head this time,” Dazai teases, taking his own helmet in hand. He’s not nearly as careful when he shoves it onto his own+
He nods. This helmet isn’t as heavy, and it’s not loose. The strap digs lightly into his chin, but that seems normal.
“No bobble head this time,” Dazai teases, taking his own helmet in hand. He’s not nearly as careful when he shoves it onto his own+
head.
Chuuya’s glare is softened by the fact that Dazai probably can’t see it through the glass. His affronted sniff is /not/ muffled, and draws a short laugh from Dazai.
He goes to climb onto the back like last time, preparing to swing his leg over when Dazai stops him with+
Chuuya’s glare is softened by the fact that Dazai probably can’t see it through the glass. His affronted sniff is /not/ muffled, and draws a short laugh from Dazai.
He goes to climb onto the back like last time, preparing to swing his leg over when Dazai stops him with+
gentle fingers on his elbow.
“I want to try something,” he says slowly, like he’s unsure of how Chuuya will react. “Do you trust me?”
And—
He does. Maybe he shouldn’t. He doesn’t know him well, and only for a few weeks, and there’s so much they have yet to learn about+
“I want to try something,” he says slowly, like he’s unsure of how Chuuya will react. “Do you trust me?”
And—
He does. Maybe he shouldn’t. He doesn’t know him well, and only for a few weeks, and there’s so much they have yet to learn about+
eachother.
Maybe Dazai is a criminal. Maybe he’s crazy. Maybe he’s dangerous.
But you know—
Chuuya does trust him. He nods carefully, unsure of what he wants, but willing to give it a try.
Giving him a dazzling grin, Dazai moves sideways, giving him full access to the +
Maybe Dazai is a criminal. Maybe he’s crazy. Maybe he’s dangerous.
But you know—
Chuuya does trust him. He nods carefully, unsure of what he wants, but willing to give it a try.
Giving him a dazzling grin, Dazai moves sideways, giving him full access to the +
bike. “Do you want to try riding in the front?”
Chuuya looks at the bike hesitantly. He’s never seen that before. He didn’t even know that was an option. It’s probably dangerous, but he remembers how safe it felt with Dazai, even going as fast as he was—
Yeah, he wants to try.+
Chuuya looks at the bike hesitantly. He’s never seen that before. He didn’t even know that was an option. It’s probably dangerous, but he remembers how safe it felt with Dazai, even going as fast as he was—
Yeah, he wants to try.+
“How?” He says, loud enough to be heard through the visor.
Dazai winces. “You don’t have to shout,” he says, and his voice sounds closer than it should, like it’s inside the helmet with him. “The helmets are Bluetooth.”
Oh. Well, that’s awkward. “Sorry.”
“No worries,” Dazai+
Dazai winces. “You don’t have to shout,” he says, and his voice sounds closer than it should, like it’s inside the helmet with him. “The helmets are Bluetooth.”
Oh. Well, that’s awkward. “Sorry.”
“No worries,” Dazai+
murmurs, pushing the kickstand back into place with his boot. “You didn’t know. Now get on.”
Chuuya does, with only a little bit of struggling because Dazai has the bike braced sideways on his thigh, lowering the seat so Chuuya can swing his leg over it.
It takes him a bit of+
Chuuya does, with only a little bit of struggling because Dazai has the bike braced sideways on his thigh, lowering the seat so Chuuya can swing his leg over it.
It takes him a bit of+
wiggling to get settled, but he does it.
Dazai holds the bike up with one arm—because Chuuya is too short to do it himself, feet dangling— and bends down to take his ankle in hand again.
It feels even /better/ this time, more charged, because he knows what those fingers+
Dazai holds the bike up with one arm—because Chuuya is too short to do it himself, feet dangling— and bends down to take his ankle in hand again.
It feels even /better/ this time, more charged, because he knows what those fingers+
feel like on his hair, along his spine, on his thigh. He knows how capable they are of making him melt, playing along his nerves like a master.
Dazai guides his foot into a higher notch, knees closer to his chest than before. “Don’t move,” he says, and it feels like he’s +
Dazai guides his foot into a higher notch, knees closer to his chest than before. “Don’t move,” he says, and it feels like he’s +
whispering directly into his ear, making him shiver. “Not even a little bit. The gas pedal is right behind your foot, understand?”
It’s a subtle order, but one he understands and he’ll follow it.
His other foot gets the same treatment once Dazai comes around the front of the+
It’s a subtle order, but one he understands and he’ll follow it.
His other foot gets the same treatment once Dazai comes around the front of the+
front.
“Ready?”
Chuuya nods, clutching the metal between the handlebars, digging his toes in for dear life.
Then, as Dazai swings his leg over and settles right behind him, Chuuya realizes:
He did not think this through at /all/. +
“Ready?”
Chuuya nods, clutching the metal between the handlebars, digging his toes in for dear life.
Then, as Dazai swings his leg over and settles right behind him, Chuuya realizes:
He did not think this through at /all/. +
Not only does the bike wobble in place, making him grip tight with his hands and calves—
But this wasn’t /built/ to be a two-seater back, so that means Dazai’s hips end up sliding /close/, pressed right up against his ass, as close as they can get and—
Chuuya has seen the +
But this wasn’t /built/ to be a two-seater back, so that means Dazai’s hips end up sliding /close/, pressed right up against his ass, as close as they can get and—
Chuuya has seen the +
bulge, alright, he wasn’t going to miss his chance when Dazai was walking around in grey sweatpants. He looked as often as he could without it being considered sexual harassment, he’s admitting it.
But that’s /quite/ different than feeling it /pressed up against him/.
God. +
But that’s /quite/ different than feeling it /pressed up against him/.
God. +
There’s a /definite/ bulge there, even though Dazai isn’t even hard. Warm, with the sharpness of his hips on either side that Chuuya is /dying/ to get his hands on. It presses /right/ up against him, and Chuuya’s jeans are so tight he swear he can feel the outline of it.
/Big/,+
/Big/,+
god it’s big. Bigger than himself— Chuuya is a bit above average, thank you very much— maybe even to big to get his fingers around.
It makes sense, since Dazai is quite a bit taller than him, but it still feels like he ran into a wall and now his brain is struggling to reboot.+
It makes sense, since Dazai is quite a bit taller than him, but it still feels like he ran into a wall and now his brain is struggling to reboot.+
He’s biting his lip, hard, and holding his breath because he is /this/ close from letting out a whimper, or worse, a /moan/—
Suddenly, he’s hungry. Starving. And not for food.
Then it gets even worse.
Dazai leans forward a bit, hands finding the handlebars up front, arms +
Suddenly, he’s hungry. Starving. And not for food.
Then it gets even worse.
Dazai leans forward a bit, hands finding the handlebars up front, arms +
caging him in, biceps /huge/, forearms flexing as he grips the bars.
Then his foot is coming up, toes finding the gearshift, and that presses the front of his thigh all along the back of Chuuya’s. He’s scorching hot, throbbing with life, /almost/ as close as Chuuya wants him to+
Then his foot is coming up, toes finding the gearshift, and that presses the front of his thigh all along the back of Chuuya’s. He’s scorching hot, throbbing with life, /almost/ as close as Chuuya wants him to+
be—
With their position, Dazai still has to lean forward some, plastering himself to his back. His chin comes to rest somewhere around Chuuya’s ear, and he can just hear the sound of Dazai’s deep, rhythmic breathing.
This can’t be safe, Chuuya thinks woozily, because he’s +
With their position, Dazai still has to lean forward some, plastering himself to his back. His chin comes to rest somewhere around Chuuya’s ear, and he can just hear the sound of Dazai’s deep, rhythmic breathing.
This can’t be safe, Chuuya thinks woozily, because he’s +
gonna faint. Or burst into flames.
Or maybe just straight up /die/.
Dazai envelops him effortlessly, and usually Chuuya doesn’t like feeling /small/, but holy fuck, the idea that Dazai can wrap him up entirely in one arm, that he can pick him up and manhandle him so easily— +
Or maybe just straight up /die/.
Dazai envelops him effortlessly, and usually Chuuya doesn’t like feeling /small/, but holy fuck, the idea that Dazai can wrap him up entirely in one arm, that he can pick him up and manhandle him so easily— +
“Ready?”
Chuuya squeaks in surprise, embarrassingly, and nods hastily, trying to cover it up.
And wouldn’t you know—
It gets /worse/.
The bike roars to life, and Dazai’s other leg comes up as they push off and now the bike is /vibrating/ beneath them, between his legs, +
Chuuya squeaks in surprise, embarrassingly, and nods hastily, trying to cover it up.
And wouldn’t you know—
It gets /worse/.
The bike roars to life, and Dazai’s other leg comes up as they push off and now the bike is /vibrating/ beneath them, between his legs, +
adding an interesting mix of sensations and god, everytime he squirms from it, his hips are rubbing /back/ against Dazai— who is /immovable, by the way— or forward against the vibrating gas tank, and he is losing his /mind/.
Caught between a hard place and a vibrator, he thinks+
Caught between a hard place and a vibrator, he thinks+
hysterically, fighting to keep calm.
“Are you alright? We can stop, if you’d like.”
No, do /not/ stop, keep going—
“I’m okay,” he clears his throat, playing it off, “just... a little strange to get used to.”
It is strange, because now he doesn’t have anything to hang onto+
“Are you alright? We can stop, if you’d like.”
No, do /not/ stop, keep going—
“I’m okay,” he clears his throat, playing it off, “just... a little strange to get used to.”
It is strange, because now he doesn’t have anything to hang onto+
besides the gas tank, which, understandably, does not make a very good handle. He does want to touch the bars, just in case.
It still feels secure because Dazai’s arms are on either side, keeping him firmly in place even as they begin to lean with the turns, but it feels +
It still feels secure because Dazai’s arms are on either side, keeping him firmly in place even as they begin to lean with the turns, but it feels +
more... free.
Wilder.
Dazai steady behind him, the road in front of him, the wind rushing by his helmet. Heat and flying and the rush of recklessness.
He feels like he’s free falling, the pit of his stomach dropping out every time they lean around a turn, or when Dazai’s +
Wilder.
Dazai steady behind him, the road in front of him, the wind rushing by his helmet. Heat and flying and the rush of recklessness.
He feels like he’s free falling, the pit of his stomach dropping out every time they lean around a turn, or when Dazai’s +
hips press against him harder.
(He doesn’t know it, but Dazai is /grinning/ behind him, because the chibi is struggling /so/ hard and it’s adorably hilarious to watch.)
When he finally gets over the giddy feeling, he realizes he doesn’t recognize the streets they’re on. “Where+
(He doesn’t know it, but Dazai is /grinning/ behind him, because the chibi is struggling /so/ hard and it’s adorably hilarious to watch.)
When he finally gets over the giddy feeling, he realizes he doesn’t recognize the streets they’re on. “Where+
are we going?”
Dazai takes a turn faster than the others, bike leaning lower. Chuuya makes a high-pitched sound of adrenaline and excitement, clutching the metal in front of him.
(Dazai notes with satisfaction that he doesn’t sound afraid, even though he’s pushing his limits.)+
Dazai takes a turn faster than the others, bike leaning lower. Chuuya makes a high-pitched sound of adrenaline and excitement, clutching the metal in front of him.
(Dazai notes with satisfaction that he doesn’t sound afraid, even though he’s pushing his limits.)+
When they straighten back out, speeding through a light fast enough that the other cars are blurs, Dazai answers, “Arcade shopping street.”
Chuuya doesn’t even care that he sounds faintly amused, because excitement is pouring through him at the idea of going to that street +
Chuuya doesn’t even care that he sounds faintly amused, because excitement is pouring through him at the idea of going to that street +
market. It’s too far to go to by train unless he was willing to take the whole day, and probably too expensive for him,with all the food vendors and shops lining the market.
It’s not what he imagined for lunch, but personally, he likes this idea even /better/ than a restaurant.+
It’s not what he imagined for lunch, but personally, he likes this idea even /better/ than a restaurant.+
He likes walking around and looking at things, likes exploring, likes street food.
Really, this is the perfect lunch date for him. He’s amazed Dazai thought of it, and the fact that they’re apparently so compatible that he doesn’t even have to tell Dazai what he /likes/—
+
Really, this is the perfect lunch date for him. He’s amazed Dazai thought of it, and the fact that they’re apparently so compatible that he doesn’t even have to tell Dazai what he /likes/—
+
Makes him wonder how far that compatibility goes.
He’s immediately pushing /that/ thought away before he gets too excited, because there’s already heat pooling in his belly and it’s taking all his strength not to let it affect him, or to ask for more.
Dazai hasn’t even kissed+
He’s immediately pushing /that/ thought away before he gets too excited, because there’s already heat pooling in his belly and it’s taking all his strength not to let it affect him, or to ask for more.
Dazai hasn’t even kissed+
him again yet, and already Chuuya feels strung tight between his capable fingers.
They end up having to park a couple blocks away at a parking garage, storing the helmets in the storage space beneath the seat.
(Dazai opens it quickly and shuts it even faster, before Chuuya can+
They end up having to park a couple blocks away at a parking garage, storing the helmets in the storage space beneath the seat.
(Dazai opens it quickly and shuts it even faster, before Chuuya can+
see inside, not that he’s looking too hard.)
By the time they get close to the market, Chuuya’s head is on a swivel, taking in all the sights. He’s walking so fast he keeps up easily with Dazai’s longer stride, and the only thing keeping him from bumping into all the other +
By the time they get close to the market, Chuuya’s head is on a swivel, taking in all the sights. He’s walking so fast he keeps up easily with Dazai’s longer stride, and the only thing keeping him from bumping into all the other +
pedestrians on the street is Dazai’s hand on his back, steering him with gentle pressure from his fingertips.
There are a /lot/ of pedestrians, understandably.Arcade shopping street is popular among tourists and locals alike, and the place is packed, constantly moving, a stream+
There are a /lot/ of pedestrians, understandably.Arcade shopping street is popular among tourists and locals alike, and the place is packed, constantly moving, a stream+
of people moving in and out.
The only reason Chuuya doesn’t get crushed between all the people is because Dazai is so damn /tall/ and intimidating that people automatically avoid coming into his personal space.
Chuuya takes full advantage of that, huddling in the small circle+
The only reason Chuuya doesn’t get crushed between all the people is because Dazai is so damn /tall/ and intimidating that people automatically avoid coming into his personal space.
Chuuya takes full advantage of that, huddling in the small circle+
of space so he doesn’t get his toes stepped on.
When they finally walk inside, the air hits Chuuya like a wall. It smells /delicious/, all the smells from the food stands mixing in the air and heating it up. It’s loud, too, the sound of people talking and vendors shouting and+
When they finally walk inside, the air hits Chuuya like a wall. It smells /delicious/, all the smells from the food stands mixing in the air and heating it up. It’s loud, too, the sound of people talking and vendors shouting and+
money exchanging hands.
It’s bustling, filled with life, and Chuuya feels buoyed by it, bouncing up on the tips of his toes to see farther into the crowd.
Dazai leans down to speak close to his ear. “What do you want first?”
That’s a hard choice. There’s just so /much/, he+
It’s bustling, filled with life, and Chuuya feels buoyed by it, bouncing up on the tips of his toes to see farther into the crowd.
Dazai leans down to speak close to his ear. “What do you want first?”
That’s a hard choice. There’s just so /much/, he+
wouldn’t have time to do it all, not even if he had all day. He doesn’t want to miss out on anything.
Eventually, he points at a Yakitori stand. The line isn’t as long as some others, but he can smell the meat from here and it’s mouthwateringly good.
“Alright,” Dazai says, +
Eventually, he points at a Yakitori stand. The line isn’t as long as some others, but he can smell the meat from here and it’s mouthwateringly good.
“Alright,” Dazai says, +
taking his hand away. He nods at a drinks stand, “go get in line. I’ll get us waters real quick.”
Being separated from Dazai for even a second sounds like cruel and unusual punishment, but after the ride and the heat of the market, Chuuya is already thirsty. He nods, traipsing+
Being separated from Dazai for even a second sounds like cruel and unusual punishment, but after the ride and the heat of the market, Chuuya is already thirsty. He nods, traipsing+
over to the stand. Dazai disappears on his mission.
Chuuya slots in behind a group of girls, trying to keep appropriate distance without being swept away by the crowd. It’s a constant struggle, with people pressing in behind him and around him, jostling him in place.
Then +
Chuuya slots in behind a group of girls, trying to keep appropriate distance without being swept away by the crowd. It’s a constant struggle, with people pressing in behind him and around him, jostling him in place.
Then +
someone keeps pushing. Hard, too, like they’re shoving Chuuya out of the way.
He grits his teeth, trying to keep his balance because he doesn’t want to knock into the girls in front of him or stumble sideways into the crowd.
Turning his head, he makes eye contact with some+
He grits his teeth, trying to keep his balance because he doesn’t want to knock into the girls in front of him or stumble sideways into the crowd.
Turning his head, he makes eye contact with some+
guy standing behind him, apparently not even recognizing that there’s someone in front of him.
“Watch it,” he snaps, because the guy is /still/ pushing him, and he’s heavy enough that Chuuya is losing his center of balance. There’s not even that many people behind the guy, he’s+
“Watch it,” he snaps, because the guy is /still/ pushing him, and he’s heavy enough that Chuuya is losing his center of balance. There’s not even that many people behind the guy, he’s+
just trying to /physcially/ steal Chuuya’s spot by force.
The guy pushes again, and that’s /it/.
Chuuya whips around, teeth bared, ready to give this fucker a piece of his mind for trying to push him around—
But someone beats him to it. +
The guy pushes again, and that’s /it/.
Chuuya whips around, teeth bared, ready to give this fucker a piece of his mind for trying to push him around—
But someone beats him to it. +
A hand is fisting in the guys jacket, forcibly yanking him backwards and forcing him on his toes to compensate for the height difference. The guy flails,and Chuuya narrowly dodges an accidental punch to the face.
“He said,” Dazai snarls at him, teeth sharp, “/watch it/.”+
“He said,” Dazai snarls at him, teeth sharp, “/watch it/.”+
The guy whimpers, eyes wide with terror. “Jeez, okay, put me down. Don’t be an asshole—.”
That makes Chuuya snarl. “/You/ were shoving /me/, asshole. What are you, five and in the line for the slide? You’re /lucky/ he got to you first!”
Dazai shoves the guy backward, hard,+
That makes Chuuya snarl. “/You/ were shoving /me/, asshole. What are you, five and in the line for the slide? You’re /lucky/ he got to you first!”
Dazai shoves the guy backward, hard,+
uncaring that he sends a few innocent bystanders stumbling.
The guy shakes himself off, scowling and has the /nerve/ to make a rude gesture at them before turning around.
Chuuya’s muscles tighten, coiling as he starts to throw himself after that jerk—
He’s going to teach him+
The guy shakes himself off, scowling and has the /nerve/ to make a rude gesture at them before turning around.
Chuuya’s muscles tighten, coiling as he starts to throw himself after that jerk—
He’s going to teach him+
a lesson in /respect/—
An arm clamps down over his shoulders, keeping him in place. Chuuya ends up drawn up close to Dazai’s side, his arm a heavy, grounding weight over his shoulders.
“Let me go,” he snaps, irritated.
“Baby,” Dazai sighs, though he looks terribly amused, +
An arm clamps down over his shoulders, keeping him in place. Chuuya ends up drawn up close to Dazai’s side, his arm a heavy, grounding weight over his shoulders.
“Let me go,” he snaps, irritated.
“Baby,” Dazai sighs, though he looks terribly amused, +
“As lovely as it would be to watch you teach him some manners, I don’t want to get kicked out for fighting.”
Oh. Well. /Fine/ then. He crosses his arms across his chest, silently grumbling.
Dazai looks down at him, and are his eyes darker than usual? More focused? “Are you+
Oh. Well. /Fine/ then. He crosses his arms across his chest, silently grumbling.
Dazai looks down at him, and are his eyes darker than usual? More focused? “Are you+
alright though? He didn’t hurt you?”
The irritation starts to melt away under an incoming tide of affection. He leans heavily against Dazai’s side, daring to wrap his arm around his waist, under the jacket. “No,” he says, “I’m fine. It was just rude.”
Dazai snorts. “Yeah.”+
The irritation starts to melt away under an incoming tide of affection. He leans heavily against Dazai’s side, daring to wrap his arm around his waist, under the jacket. “No,” he says, “I’m fine. It was just rude.”
Dazai snorts. “Yeah.”+
They get their Yakitori without further incident, and the way Dazai already has his wallet out and pulls out the correct amount from a /thick/ stack of cash probably shouldn't be hot but--
Chuuya is starting to see the /appeal/ in these casual displays of wealth. The confidence+
Chuuya is starting to see the /appeal/ in these casual displays of wealth. The confidence+
and arrogance might be off-putting on someone /else/-- it was on Shuuji, who acted like he could just buy everyone and everything-- but on Dazai?
It settles naturally into the width of his shoulders, the set of his jaw, and instead of being a turn-off--
Well, it's a turn /on/.+
It settles naturally into the width of his shoulders, the set of his jaw, and instead of being a turn-off--
Well, it's a turn /on/.+
As most things about Dazai are.
After their food, they start to wander around the market, pausing by the stores for Chuuya to fawn over the trinkets inside. Dazai doesn't seem much for shopping-- he mostly watches Chuuya with an amused, fond, thoughtful look in his eye-- but he+
After their food, they start to wander around the market, pausing by the stores for Chuuya to fawn over the trinkets inside. Dazai doesn't seem much for shopping-- he mostly watches Chuuya with an amused, fond, thoughtful look in his eye-- but he+
points out a few things for him to look at, smiling at his reaction.
That attitude stays until they get about halfway through the market, and suddenly Dazai is gesturing at an open door to a bigger store. "Lets go in there?"
Chuuya nods, because that's the first store Dazai +
That attitude stays until they get about halfway through the market, and suddenly Dazai is gesturing at an open door to a bigger store. "Lets go in there?"
Chuuya nods, because that's the first store Dazai +
showed interest in, and it was starting to feel a bit one-sided. He's touched that Dazai thought to bring him here, but he wants /him/ to have fun too, not just watch him.
The first thing Chuuya sees when they enter is a rack of leather jackets, hanging up in neat rows arranged+
The first thing Chuuya sees when they enter is a rack of leather jackets, hanging up in neat rows arranged+
by size. Dazai heads for them immediately, pulling out some of the smaller ones.
Ones that /definitely/ won't fit him.
Chuuya tilts his head,watching him curiously as he wrinkles his nose at a particular jacket and puts it back. "What are you doing?"
"Well, sweetheart," Dazai+
Ones that /definitely/ won't fit him.
Chuuya tilts his head,watching him curiously as he wrinkles his nose at a particular jacket and puts it back. "What are you doing?"
"Well, sweetheart," Dazai+
says, holding a black jacket to Chuuya's torso, "it would be /irresponsible/ of me to let you keep riding without a jacket, so we're getting you one."
Eyes flickering between him and the jacket, Chuuya wonders; did he plan this?
Did he come here with the /intention/ of getting+
Eyes flickering between him and the jacket, Chuuya wonders; did he plan this?
Did he come here with the /intention/ of getting+
him a jacket, or did he think about it just now? And, sure, money isn't an issue for Dazai, but the fact that he's bought him a helmet and now a jacket--
He wants more. He wants to /keep/ going out with Chuuya, the realization of which makes his knees weak.
It feels /so/ nice+
He wants more. He wants to /keep/ going out with Chuuya, the realization of which makes his knees weak.
It feels /so/ nice+
to be visibly wanted, even without the exact words to say so.
He struggles out of the jacket he's already waiting, a bit dazed, not realizing that Dazai's eyes have fallen to the flash of stomach and hip exposed by his shirt riding up.
(Truthfully, Dazai has had to have a +
He struggles out of the jacket he's already waiting, a bit dazed, not realizing that Dazai's eyes have fallen to the flash of stomach and hip exposed by his shirt riding up.
(Truthfully, Dazai has had to have a +
/tight/ control of his emotions today, and he's glad he went for a run earlier today. First, the criminally tight jeans, the /beautiful/ ass wiggling all over his crotch on the drive over, then the man getting up close and personal with /his/ date--even if in a rude way-- and+
then that flash of anger earlier,that snarling fierceness Dazai wants to /taste/ and now /this/--
The stretch of his stomach muscles as raises his arms,the subtle flex and roll as he removes one sleeve then the other, /stripping for him/--
Yeah, Dazai is under /tight/ control.+
The stretch of his stomach muscles as raises his arms,the subtle flex and roll as he removes one sleeve then the other, /stripping for him/--
Yeah, Dazai is under /tight/ control.+
He wants to eat him /alive/. Wants him begging and looking up at him with that sweet, pleading look from earlier when they met up—
But more importantly, he doesn’t want to /scare/ him, and he /knows/ he can be a scary man, even when he doesn’t necessarily want to be.
So he +
But more importantly, he doesn’t want to /scare/ him, and he /knows/ he can be a scary man, even when he doesn’t necessarily want to be.
So he +
grits his teeth and offers out the jacket, and refuses to think about Chuuya wearing things Dazai bought for him.)
Chuuya reaches for the jacket, but Dazai arches an eyebrow, holding it firm. He blows out a breath, and then turns around, offering his back to Dazai.
He slides+
Chuuya reaches for the jacket, but Dazai arches an eyebrow, holding it firm. He blows out a breath, and then turns around, offering his back to Dazai.
He slides+
one arm in the sleeve then the other as Dazai holds the jacket for him.
The weight of the jacket it grounding, settling nicely across his shoulders. It's a little long in the sleeves though, the ends falling over his wrists, and it tightens uncomfortably over his back when he+
The weight of the jacket it grounding, settling nicely across his shoulders. It's a little long in the sleeves though, the ends falling over his wrists, and it tightens uncomfortably over his back when he+
lifts his arms. "Too small," he mutters, shaking his head.
The next jacket Dazai offers him is an /exquisite/ red, with the zipper centered on the left side. It's also got two pockets, big enough for Chuuya to cram his hands in. It fits perfectly.
Chuuya spins for Dazai, +
The next jacket Dazai offers him is an /exquisite/ red, with the zipper centered on the left side. It's also got two pockets, big enough for Chuuya to cram his hands in. It fits perfectly.
Chuuya spins for Dazai, +
showing off all the angles. "How do I look?"
"Perfect."
Something about the way he says that, like it's layered with hidden meaning, makes Chuuya pause. He looks over his shoulder--
Dazai is /much/ closer than before, suddenly close enough to touch, heat pouring off him.+
"Perfect."
Something about the way he says that, like it's layered with hidden meaning, makes Chuuya pause. He looks over his shoulder--
Dazai is /much/ closer than before, suddenly close enough to touch, heat pouring off him.+
Chuuya can only watch, breath stalling out in his chest, as Dazai reaches for him, and Chuuya is ready to melt for him, already envisioning the way he would pull him in, hands cupping his face--
Gentle fingers find his hair, carefully pulling trapped strands from underneath the+
Gentle fingers find his hair, carefully pulling trapped strands from underneath the+
jacket, smoothing them over his collar. Chuuya can't look away, filled with something sweet and heavy,even as he aches for more.
"Do you like it?" Dazai asks, leaning closer, and his eyes are /huge/ from this angle, the only thing Chuuya can see, the only thing he can focus on.+
"Do you like it?" Dazai asks, leaning closer, and his eyes are /huge/ from this angle, the only thing Chuuya can see, the only thing he can focus on.+
His fingertips are still on his neck, smoothing gently over his racing pulse.
"Yes," Chuuya mumbles, because he does like it. Likes the jacket, likes /him/--
Dazai leans even closer, and god, Chuuya doesn't even /care/ about public displays of affection right now, he's just +
"Yes," Chuuya mumbles, because he does like it. Likes the jacket, likes /him/--
Dazai leans even closer, and god, Chuuya doesn't even /care/ about public displays of affection right now, he's just +
/desperate/, ready and willing to be pushed against a rack of leather jackets and /kissed/--
With a mischevious grin, Dazai leans back again,with the tag on Chuuya's jacket in hand.
Of course. Of /course/.
Is his plan to string him along until he gets desperate enough to ask+
With a mischevious grin, Dazai leans back again,with the tag on Chuuya's jacket in hand.
Of course. Of /course/.
Is his plan to string him along until he gets desperate enough to ask+
on his own?? Because he will. He'll grab Dazai by the collar of his stupidly good looking leather jacket and /yank/ him down--
"Be right back, doll. I need to find some things."
Then, just like that, Dazai is walking away. Chuuya glares at his back.
After a moment to calm+
"Be right back, doll. I need to find some things."
Then, just like that, Dazai is walking away. Chuuya glares at his back.
After a moment to calm+
himself, Chuuya decides to look around a bit. Truthfully, it's not his kind of store, filled with leather jackets and riding pants, some sort of fluffy thing you can push into your helmet as earmuffs, or something.
There /is/ something though, that catches his eye.
In a glass +
There /is/ something though, that catches his eye.
In a glass +
cabinet, on the third shelf, there's a choker.
Sleek, obviously made of premium leather, with a shiny buckle. It's simple and yet somehow classy, and Chuuya can already imagine it around his own neck.
(He'd asked his dad to buy him chokers when he started experimenting with+
Sleek, obviously made of premium leather, with a shiny buckle. It's simple and yet somehow classy, and Chuuya can already imagine it around his own neck.
(He'd asked his dad to buy him chokers when he started experimenting with+
fashion, and his father had shut /that/ down by saying that Dazai was not a dog to be collared. Whenever he brought it up again, he started asking if he wanted to start drinking out of a bowl too.)
Chuuya presses his fingers to the glass, watching the reflection of light moving+
Chuuya presses his fingers to the glass, watching the reflection of light moving+
over the oiled leather, dreaming.
"-- and the choker."
He jumps a little, startled when Dazai's voice suddenly comes from behind him, closer than expected. Turning his head, he finds him at the register, with the tag for Chuuya's jacket, and two pairs of leather gloves. He's+
"-- and the choker."
He jumps a little, startled when Dazai's voice suddenly comes from behind him, closer than expected. Turning his head, he finds him at the register, with the tag for Chuuya's jacket, and two pairs of leather gloves. He's+
not looking at Chuuya, but he's clearly /talking/ about him, because the man ringing him up is headed towards the glass cabinet.He carefully pulls out the choker and brings it back over, folding it carefully into a bag after ringing it up.
Chuuya stands awkwardly, not sure what+
Chuuya stands awkwardly, not sure what+
to do because it feels like taking advantage if Dazai buys it for him--
But he does want it...
And if he's already buying him the jacket, then he doesn't mind, right?
He's not done making up his mind by the time Dazai is finished and taking the bag in hand. By then, it's too +
But he does want it...
And if he's already buying him the jacket, then he doesn't mind, right?
He's not done making up his mind by the time Dazai is finished and taking the bag in hand. By then, it's too +
/late/.
"You didn't have to do that," he mumbles, feeling the tiniest bit guilty. Spending money on him for the date specifically is one thing, but this would be a gift for /him/, and it feels different.
Dazai drapes his arm over his shoulders again, pulling him close to his +
"You didn't have to do that," he mumbles, feeling the tiniest bit guilty. Spending money on him for the date specifically is one thing, but this would be a gift for /him/, and it feels different.
Dazai drapes his arm over his shoulders again, pulling him close to his +
side again. The look he shoots him says more than enough.
/You're right. I didn't have to. I wanted to./
They grab another bite to eat, this time of some candied fruit, before making their way out of the market. It's been almost an hour and a half.
And in the garage, that's +
/You're right. I didn't have to. I wanted to./
They grab another bite to eat, this time of some candied fruit, before making their way out of the market. It's been almost an hour and a half.
And in the garage, that's +
when Chuuya makes his move.
After stashing his older jacket beneath the seat,and before they put the helmets back on,Chuuya steps close and gathers up all his courage to ask,"Why won't you kiss me?"
Dazai leans back against his bike,eyebrow arched."Do you want me to kiss you?"+
After stashing his older jacket beneath the seat,and before they put the helmets back on,Chuuya steps close and gathers up all his courage to ask,"Why won't you kiss me?"
Dazai leans back against his bike,eyebrow arched."Do you want me to kiss you?"+
Chuuya huffs a little, equal parts embarrassed and irritated. "Yes. You know I do."
He /has/ to know, Chuuya isn't subtle even when he /tries/.
"I did know, but I like to hear you /ask/."
Oh. Is it that easy? "Kiss me."
"That's all you had to say, doll." +
He /has/ to know, Chuuya isn't subtle even when he /tries/.
"I did know, but I like to hear you /ask/."
Oh. Is it that easy? "Kiss me."
"That's all you had to say, doll." +
Fingers hook into his beltloops, tugging him close. It’s as easy as breathing to follow the pull, stepping between Dazai’s legs.
When he’s close enough, one of the hands slides around his lower back, encouraging the natural arch of his spine. The other brushes up his torso,+
When he’s close enough, one of the hands slides around his lower back, encouraging the natural arch of his spine. The other brushes up his torso,+
sliding under his jaw to tip his head back with a thumb.
Chuuya’s hands end up finding his shoulders, fingers flexing in the thick leather, pent up.
He’s glad Dazai doesn’t tease him longer, or ask him to open his eyes, because if he has to wait even a /second/ longer he +
Chuuya’s hands end up finding his shoulders, fingers flexing in the thick leather, pent up.
He’s glad Dazai doesn’t tease him longer, or ask him to open his eyes, because if he has to wait even a /second/ longer he +
is going to lose his mind--
Dazai leans, and Chuuya bends to fit him, helpless to the pull like a flower to the sun--
Their lips meet and the world holds it breath.
Just like the first time, it's incredibly soft at first, testing how much they both want it, how much further +
Dazai leans, and Chuuya bends to fit him, helpless to the pull like a flower to the sun--
Their lips meet and the world holds it breath.
Just like the first time, it's incredibly soft at first, testing how much they both want it, how much further +
they want to take this.
Then Chuuya's fingers tighten in Dazai's clothes, pulling him down at the same time he's surging up, and a spark ignites between them.
The next kiss is harder, wetter, Dazai pressing down on him. Chuuya is hanging onto him desperately, feeling like the +
Then Chuuya's fingers tighten in Dazai's clothes, pulling him down at the same time he's surging up, and a spark ignites between them.
The next kiss is harder, wetter, Dazai pressing down on him. Chuuya is hanging onto him desperately, feeling like the +
only thing holding him up is Dazai's arm around his back--
Which is shifting, a little, pulling back some and angling /downward/, fingers sliding into his back pocket.
Chuuya shudders, a whimper caught in his throat as Dazai's hand /slowly/--giving Chuuya ample time to stop +
Which is shifting, a little, pulling back some and angling /downward/, fingers sliding into his back pocket.
Chuuya shudders, a whimper caught in his throat as Dazai's hand /slowly/--giving Chuuya ample time to stop +
him if he wants--slides fully into his pocket, big enough that he can nearly the entire cheek in one hand.
He uses his grip on him to drag him even closer, large hand firm on his ass, fingers squeezing ever so slightly--
Chuuya's next breath leaves him in a hot rush, swallowed+
He uses his grip on him to drag him even closer, large hand firm on his ass, fingers squeezing ever so slightly--
Chuuya's next breath leaves him in a hot rush, swallowed+
up by Dazai and returned to him even /hotter/.
He takes advantage of Chuuya's open mouth,sliding his tongue inside in one long, slick motion.
He tastes like the remnants of their candied cherries, sweetly addicted, and their tongues rub together slowly, testing.
Chuuya feels+
He takes advantage of Chuuya's open mouth,sliding his tongue inside in one long, slick motion.
He tastes like the remnants of their candied cherries, sweetly addicted, and their tongues rub together slowly, testing.
Chuuya feels+
taken /over/ by Dazai, his tongue in his mouth, hand on his neck with the thumb stroking maddeningly over the pulse point, the other arm crossed over his back and holding him close with a hand on his /ass/, chests pressed together, heat and the subtle flex of muscle, burning, +
tempting,sin and beauty and lust.
Dazai's tongue curls around his own, and he was /right/ on the dinner date,when he thought that Dazai was skilled with his tongue, because the way he languidly tastes his teeth, rubbing against the roof of his mouth until a point of sensitivity+
Dazai's tongue curls around his own, and he was /right/ on the dinner date,when he thought that Dazai was skilled with his tongue, because the way he languidly tastes his teeth, rubbing against the roof of his mouth until a point of sensitivity+
develops that makes him shiver.
With their height difference, Dazai’s hips end up pressed against his stomach. The longer they kiss, the harder Dazai squeezes him, the deeper his tongue slides like he’s trying to fuck his throat, the warmer Dazai gets against him, the bulge+
With their height difference, Dazai’s hips end up pressed against his stomach. The longer they kiss, the harder Dazai squeezes him, the deeper his tongue slides like he’s trying to fuck his throat, the warmer Dazai gets against him, the bulge+
grows against him, thickening, turning hotter.
Naturally, Chuuya is /gone/ compared to Dazai, but because of the way he’s standing, he doesn’t get /any/ sort of stimulation or friction. He’s reduced to tiny, instinctive grinds of his hips, whining incoherently into Dazai’s +
Naturally, Chuuya is /gone/ compared to Dazai, but because of the way he’s standing, he doesn’t get /any/ sort of stimulation or friction. He’s reduced to tiny, instinctive grinds of his hips, whining incoherently into Dazai’s +
mouth.
But he’s not /doing/ it about it, besides tilting his head back to kiss him deeper. He’s not even moving his own hips, content to let Chuuya squirm against him while he focuses on kissing him breathless.
Irritation flashes through Chuuya, fueled by desperation and the+
But he’s not /doing/ it about it, besides tilting his head back to kiss him deeper. He’s not even moving his own hips, content to let Chuuya squirm against him while he focuses on kissing him breathless.
Irritation flashes through Chuuya, fueled by desperation and the+
growing pit of hunter in his stomach, and he sinks his teeth into his tongue to hold him in place as he /sucks/, hollowing out his cheeks with it.
That makes Dazai growl into his mouth,hand sliding further on his neck. His fingers settle around his throat, and the light squeeze+
That makes Dazai growl into his mouth,hand sliding further on his neck. His fingers settle around his throat, and the light squeeze+
isn’t /threatening/, but it is surprising, enough that Chuuya lets go with a short gasp.
There’s a second when Chuuya thinks it’s going to escalate, when Dazai nips at his bottom lip just sharply enough to hurt, and he’s ready for it, willing—
Then Dazai is ripping himself +
There’s a second when Chuuya thinks it’s going to escalate, when Dazai nips at his bottom lip just sharply enough to hurt, and he’s ready for it, willing—
Then Dazai is ripping himself +
away with a snarl, breathing heavily, body throbbing with heat.
Chuuya leans after him, fingers like claws in his jacket, trying to pull him back down. “Wait— keep going—.”
Dazai squeezes his eyes shut. His face is red, chest heaving and every movement he makes involuntarily+
Chuuya leans after him, fingers like claws in his jacket, trying to pull him back down. “Wait— keep going—.”
Dazai squeezes his eyes shut. His face is red, chest heaving and every movement he makes involuntarily+
leads to his hips grinding against Chuuya’s stomach and he /wants/ it, he doesn’t even care that they’re still in public on their second date—
“If we keep going,” Dazai rasps, “I’m not going to /stop/.”
Fuck, yes, /please/, that’s exactly what he wants, what he /needs/.
+
“If we keep going,” Dazai rasps, “I’m not going to /stop/.”
Fuck, yes, /please/, that’s exactly what he wants, what he /needs/.
+
Pressing himself harder against Dazai, like he might convince him through strength only, Chuuya dares a, “but I /want/ you.”
Dazai’s eyes open again, pupils huge as he looks down on him, expression ravenous. He looks strained, moments away from giving in.
“I know you do, +
Dazai’s eyes open again, pupils huge as he looks down on him, expression ravenous. He looks strained, moments away from giving in.
“I know you do, +
baby,” Dazai croons, bending down again. Chuuya tilts his head up, eyes going shut again, preparing for the kiss—
But Dazai bypasses his mouth, pressing his lips to his cheek briefly as he goes to whisper in his ear:
“But the first time I make you whimper my name /isn’t/ going+
But Dazai bypasses his mouth, pressing his lips to his cheek briefly as he goes to whisper in his ear:
“But the first time I make you whimper my name /isn’t/ going+
to be in a parking lot.”
Then he’s sucking Chuuya’s earlobe into his mouth, which isn’t /fucking fair/ because his mouth is hot and wet, and he can /almost/ imagine the same suction lower, where he wants it.
He opens his mouth to argue, certain he can get Dazai to give in if+
Then he’s sucking Chuuya’s earlobe into his mouth, which isn’t /fucking fair/ because his mouth is hot and wet, and he can /almost/ imagine the same suction lower, where he wants it.
He opens his mouth to argue, certain he can get Dazai to give in if+
he pushes just a /little/ harder—
His fingers tighten around his throat, just enough to make his breath catch.
This time, his tone is deeper, lower, more commanding. “Don’t argue with me, brat. I told you no.”
In this moment, Chuuya swears he hates him, frustration boiling+
His fingers tighten around his throat, just enough to make his breath catch.
This time, his tone is deeper, lower, more commanding. “Don’t argue with me, brat. I told you no.”
In this moment, Chuuya swears he hates him, frustration boiling+
over in hot waves.
Then it occurs to him—
If the problem is the /location/, why don’t they just go /somewhere else?/
“Then take me home?” Chuuya breathes out, sliding his fingers up into Dazai’s hair, nails dragging the way that makes him shiver every time.
There’s a +
Then it occurs to him—
If the problem is the /location/, why don’t they just go /somewhere else?/
“Then take me home?” Chuuya breathes out, sliding his fingers up into Dazai’s hair, nails dragging the way that makes him shiver every time.
There’s a +
heavy, /charged/ silence, air crackling between them as Dazai clearly considers it, breath hot in Chuuya’s ear.
With a heavy, strained sigh, Dazai says, “Not today.”
When Chuuya instinctively digs his nails in, he continues, “I’m not prepared, and if—when— I fuck you, I want+
With a heavy, strained sigh, Dazai says, “Not today.”
When Chuuya instinctively digs his nails in, he continues, “I’m not prepared, and if—when— I fuck you, I want+
it to be better than just some rushed fuck because we’re both desperate for it.”
Then, like this entire conversation hasn’t knocked Chuuya /completely/ off his axis (from the /when I fuck you/ to the curse sounding /obscene/ on his tongue because Chuuya’s never heard him curse+
Then, like this entire conversation hasn’t knocked Chuuya /completely/ off his axis (from the /when I fuck you/ to the curse sounding /obscene/ on his tongue because Chuuya’s never heard him curse+
before, to the admission that /he’s/ desperate too) he continues, shrugging with one shoulder like it’s not a big deal:
“More special, I guess.”
Chuuya feels like he got knocked over the head, mind reeling because he was /not/ expecting that, not at all. He figured it wouldn’t+
“More special, I guess.”
Chuuya feels like he got knocked over the head, mind reeling because he was /not/ expecting that, not at all. He figured it wouldn’t+
matter to someone like Dazai. Frankly, he didn’t think it mattered that much to himself, because he was fully willing to be bent over Dazai’s bike in full view of the public, he was that desperate.
But you know? That fact that he /cares/ about it, makes giddy warmth bubble up+
But you know? That fact that he /cares/ about it, makes giddy warmth bubble up+
in his chest.
Dazai’s not so bad, is he? Definitely not someone that Chuuya would regret giving his virginity too.
He sighs. Somehow, their embrace has shifted into some resembling a tight hug, with Dazai’s chin hooked over his shoulder and Chuuya as high up on his toes as he+
Dazai’s not so bad, is he? Definitely not someone that Chuuya would regret giving his virginity too.
He sighs. Somehow, their embrace has shifted into some resembling a tight hug, with Dazai’s chin hooked over his shoulder and Chuuya as high up on his toes as he+
can get. “I never really got the whole ‘make sure your first time is special’ thing, but I understand what you’re saying.”
Dazai stills. After a moment, he pulls back, just far enough that he can look down at him. The look in his eye is something between shocked and concerned.+
Dazai stills. After a moment, he pulls back, just far enough that he can look down at him. The look in his eye is something between shocked and concerned.+
“/Your/ first time?”
Chuuya nods slowly. The way Dazai is staring at him, eyes growing wider, is starting to make him feel awkward.
Or like he did something wrong, or said something bad.
“As in.... your /first/ time? You haven’t—?”
He tries to play off the weird feeling +
Chuuya nods slowly. The way Dazai is staring at him, eyes growing wider, is starting to make him feel awkward.
Or like he did something wrong, or said something bad.
“As in.... your /first/ time? You haven’t—?”
He tries to play off the weird feeling +
in his chest by giving a shrug and a tiny, self-deprecating laugh. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve never really had a boyfriend before, so it just...never happened.”
Dazai stares at him like he just admitted to selling kidneys on the black market.
Then he’s pulling the hand away from his+
Dazai stares at him like he just admitted to selling kidneys on the black market.
Then he’s pulling the hand away from his+
throat, wiping it down his face. “Jesus,” he mutters, just loud enough for Chuuya to hear.
He /shrinks/. Dazai looks like he just gave him /terrible/ news, like this changes everything, and /why/ did he tell him? He should’ve known better. A lot of people get weird over the +
He /shrinks/. Dazai looks like he just gave him /terrible/ news, like this changes everything, and /why/ did he tell him? He should’ve known better. A lot of people get weird over the +
whole virgin thing.
Which is funny, because to his face, everyone spouts the same ‘it should be special! Take your time! You should never rush into sex!’ but /most/ of the time he gets weird, pitying looks, like he’s missing out on some vital part of life, like he isn’t truly +
Which is funny, because to his face, everyone spouts the same ‘it should be special! Take your time! You should never rush into sex!’ but /most/ of the time he gets weird, pitying looks, like he’s missing out on some vital part of life, like he isn’t truly +
living.
And /half/ the time it’s used as an insult for people who aren’t conventionally attractive or have a bad personality.
The other part of the time, people treat you like a weirdo, or like you’re untouchable.
(Chuuya once told a guy that he was flirting with that he was+
And /half/ the time it’s used as an insult for people who aren’t conventionally attractive or have a bad personality.
The other part of the time, people treat you like a weirdo, or like you’re untouchable.
(Chuuya once told a guy that he was flirting with that he was+
a virgin, and he /promptly/ got ghosted.)
So yeah, everyone /says/ that not having sex is your choice or powerful or inspiring or what-the-fuck-ever, but that’s not how they /act/.
They act like it’s a /shameful/ thing, something to hide lest it be used against you.
He +
So yeah, everyone /says/ that not having sex is your choice or powerful or inspiring or what-the-fuck-ever, but that’s not how they /act/.
They act like it’s a /shameful/ thing, something to hide lest it be used against you.
He +
didn’t think Dazai was one of /those/ people, but based on the way he’s /still/ holding his face, expression twisted into something like pain and regret—
Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.
Slowly, he takes his hands back, letting them drop to his sides+
Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.
Slowly, he takes his hands back, letting them drop to his sides+
awkwardly. “Sorry,” he mumbles, “I know it’s weird or whatever—.”
When he goes to pull away though, Dazai’s arm doesn’t move, keeping him locked in place. His hand is still in his back pocket but it’s no longer squeezing.
Dazai uncovers his face. “It’s not /weird/,” he says,+
When he goes to pull away though, Dazai’s arm doesn’t move, keeping him locked in place. His hand is still in his back pocket but it’s no longer squeezing.
Dazai uncovers his face. “It’s not /weird/,” he says,+
“It’s just—. I didn’t know, and if I /had/ known, I would’ve—.”
(Dazai is berating himself silently, because he probably /should’ve/ known. All the signs were there— the eagerness, the sensitivity, the wide eyed look whenever Dazai gave him even a little bit of attention.
He+
(Dazai is berating himself silently, because he probably /should’ve/ known. All the signs were there— the eagerness, the sensitivity, the wide eyed look whenever Dazai gave him even a little bit of attention.
He+
blamed it on Chuuya having bad experiences beforehand— the consent thing— but he /should’ve/ realized.
And he didn’t. It’s not like he /mauled/ him and overall he was pretty careful with him, but if he had /known/...)
“I would’ve done things differently. I would’ve been+
And he didn’t. It’s not like he /mauled/ him and overall he was pretty careful with him, but if he had /known/...)
“I would’ve done things differently. I would’ve been+
more careful with you. Slower.”
That relieves some of the tension in Chuuya’s chest, letting him take a fuller breath without feeling like his lungs are going to be crushed under the weight. “If you were any slower with me, I would’ve been half-dead from blue balls by now,” he+
That relieves some of the tension in Chuuya’s chest, letting him take a fuller breath without feeling like his lungs are going to be crushed under the weight. “If you were any slower with me, I would’ve been half-dead from blue balls by now,” he+
mutters, knocking his head against Dazai’s chest.
That startles a laugh out of him. “Poor baby,” he teases gently, his fingers once again finding Chuuya’s jaw. His thumb strokes gently over his cheek.
“I’m glad you survived,” he murmurs, voice dropping into something low and+
That startles a laugh out of him. “Poor baby,” he teases gently, his fingers once again finding Chuuya’s jaw. His thumb strokes gently over his cheek.
“I’m glad you survived,” he murmurs, voice dropping into something low and+
sweet, like melted sugar, "but you're gonna have to wait a bit longer, now that I know.I want to take my time with you."
Chuuya thinks about it,ignoring the shiver that crawls up his spine at the insinuation. Then he lets Dazai tip his head back, wrinkling his nose at him. "I'm+
Chuuya thinks about it,ignoring the shiver that crawls up his spine at the insinuation. Then he lets Dazai tip his head back, wrinkling his nose at him. "I'm+
actually going to die."
"Mm, I don't think so," Dazai hums, leaning down, tilting his chin to a better angle. "You have so much to look forward to."
He presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth, and Chuuya's eyes are automatically going half-lidded, a soft smile growing in +
"Mm, I don't think so," Dazai hums, leaning down, tilting his chin to a better angle. "You have so much to look forward to."
He presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth, and Chuuya's eyes are automatically going half-lidded, a soft smile growing in +
reaction.
"Besides," Dazai whispers, "I promise I can be /very/ motivating, if you let me."
Chuuya would let him do /anything/.
The kiss Dazai captures him in is sweeter, not backed by heat or frantic desire--
But it somehow feels /just/ as good.
-----
One of the /very/ +
"Besides," Dazai whispers, "I promise I can be /very/ motivating, if you let me."
Chuuya would let him do /anything/.
The kiss Dazai captures him in is sweeter, not backed by heat or frantic desire--
But it somehow feels /just/ as good.
-----
One of the /very/ +
few things that has not changed in Dazai's life is one tiny, hole-in-the-wall bar hidden away in a small alleyway.
The Lupin.
Granted, the owner had remodeled it at some point, but it still retained that small, homey feel and after a while, Dazai barely remembered what it +
The Lupin.
Granted, the owner had remodeled it at some point, but it still retained that small, homey feel and after a while, Dazai barely remembered what it +
looked like before.
It still smelled like whiskey and spirits, it still had a tall, quiet bartender manning it, the lights still flickered wildly whenever it rained.
More importantly, it still had the same man in it, someone Dazai has been friends with and drinking at this +
It still smelled like whiskey and spirits, it still had a tall, quiet bartender manning it, the lights still flickered wildly whenever it rained.
More importantly, it still had the same man in it, someone Dazai has been friends with and drinking at this +
same bar, in this same exact spot, for as long as he cares to remember.
In fact, there's already a glass of whiskey waiting for him in his spot when he arrives, a matched pair to the broad redhead sitting nearby and nursing his own drink.
"Long time no see," Dazai says when+
In fact, there's already a glass of whiskey waiting for him in his spot when he arrives, a matched pair to the broad redhead sitting nearby and nursing his own drink.
"Long time no see," Dazai says when+
he gets closer, clapping a hand on Oda's shoulder. It's only because he was loud coming down the stairs that Oda doesn't flinch.
Oda looks up, eyes fonder than his small smile. "You didn't answer my last call."
Sighing, Dazai sinks into his seat. It's true, he didn't, but in+
Oda looks up, eyes fonder than his small smile. "You didn't answer my last call."
Sighing, Dazai sinks into his seat. It's true, he didn't, but in+
his defense, he's been pretty busy lately. It's not that he didn't want to talk to Oda, it's just that their friendship has turned complicated over recent years, due to circumstances not entirely in their control.
Technically, they're not supposed to be meeting up. Kouyou isn't+
Technically, they're not supposed to be meeting up. Kouyou isn't+
supposed to encourage it, but she also understands, so she usually ends up turning a blind eye and going to bed early.
"Yeah, I know. I'm busy these days-- Yosano did mention Sakura's party though, next week. I'll make some time to stop by, give her a present."
Oda raises his+
"Yeah, I know. I'm busy these days-- Yosano did mention Sakura's party though, next week. I'll make some time to stop by, give her a present."
Oda raises his+
glass in a silent salute. The action lifts the tan jacket he's wearing, briefly revealing the holsters under his arms. Technically, weapons aren't allowed in the bar, but they've been coming here long enough that the bartender knows they won't cause trouble themselves.
(But if+
(But if+
trouble finds /them/, well...
They might not /start/ fights, but they can finish them damn well.)
"Get her something from Pokémon. She's obsessed. She asked me for a cell phone /specfically/ so she could play Pokémon Go. Yosano got her a nightlight that puts Pokémon on the +
They might not /start/ fights, but they can finish them damn well.)
"Get her something from Pokémon. She's obsessed. She asked me for a cell phone /specfically/ so she could play Pokémon Go. Yosano got her a nightlight that puts Pokémon on the +
ceiling. I'm sure she's gonna go nuts for it."
Smiling, Dazai takes a long sip of his drink. "You got it."
They sit there in silence for a moment, both of them taking slow drinks. It's a comfortable quiet, as they both come down from their respective workdays, unwinding and+
Smiling, Dazai takes a long sip of his drink. "You got it."
They sit there in silence for a moment, both of them taking slow drinks. It's a comfortable quiet, as they both come down from their respective workdays, unwinding and+
relaxing in the presence of an old, trusted friend.
Friendships like these were never encouraged in the mafia, so the fact that they even managed to start one in the first place is surprising,but managing to keep it after all this years is remarkable.
Even if they don't get to+
Friendships like these were never encouraged in the mafia, so the fact that they even managed to start one in the first place is surprising,but managing to keep it after all this years is remarkable.
Even if they don't get to+
see each other very often.
(Even if Dazai sometimes feels like he’s been replaced and he wouldn’t be missed if he disappeared.
He doesn’t blame Oda, he knows it’s complicated and his relationship with Kouyou and Yosano makes it even more complicated.
He’s just lonely,+
(Even if Dazai sometimes feels like he’s been replaced and he wouldn’t be missed if he disappeared.
He doesn’t blame Oda, he knows it’s complicated and his relationship with Kouyou and Yosano makes it even more complicated.
He’s just lonely,+
sometimes. He just misses him, sometimes, that’s all.)
Once he’s had a drink in him and a refill in his hands, Dazai finally starts to feel relaxed, tension dissipating. He leans on one elbow, chin in hand, idly watching the ice in his drink bob up and down. “I have a problem.”+
Once he’s had a drink in him and a refill in his hands, Dazai finally starts to feel relaxed, tension dissipating. He leans on one elbow, chin in hand, idly watching the ice in his drink bob up and down. “I have a problem.”+
Oda turns to face him more fully. His drink is only half-finished and he’s sipping it leisurely more than actually drinking it. Either he’s driving himself home, or he has a reason to be sober after this. “You mean something other than your usual amount of problems?”
Dazai+
Dazai+
sticks his tongue out at him. He’s right but he didn’t have to say it. “It’s the Rats. They’re moving in on the ports, opening up a shipping line.”
Oda nods, expression tightening. “Kouyou knows, she’s keeping an eye on it.”
Something about that, the way it’s phrased, like +
Oda nods, expression tightening. “Kouyou knows, she’s keeping an eye on it.”
Something about that, the way it’s phrased, like +
Dazai shouldn’t worry about it or be bothered because it’s /mafia business/ makes irritation crawl up his spine. He arches an eyebrow, gripping his glass tight as he says, “Oh? Does she /also/ know that the documents for the new warehouse they bought are signed by /government +
officials/?”
By the way Oda’s face carefully shifts into something neutral and blank, the answer is /no/.
Yeah, didn’t think so.
Pushing the irritation down, he tries a different angle. “Look, the Rat’s getting a foothold in the city is bad news for everyone. More +
By the way Oda’s face carefully shifts into something neutral and blank, the answer is /no/.
Yeah, didn’t think so.
Pushing the irritation down, he tries a different angle. “Look, the Rat’s getting a foothold in the city is bad news for everyone. More +
competition means more tension, which means more infighting. I want them gone just as much as the mafia does.”
Oda takes a long, slow sip of his whiskey, clearly a way to give himself more time to think. His posture is growing tense, shoulders tightening.
“I am /willing/ to+
Oda takes a long, slow sip of his whiskey, clearly a way to give himself more time to think. His posture is growing tense, shoulders tightening.
“I am /willing/ to+
offer my skills—“ of which, Dazai has many, “— in exchange for a little /help/, so we can both figure out what they want, and how to stop them. I’ve been trying to get a meeting with her for weeks, but she hasn’t been answering my calls.”
Calls being sending Yosano in to bribe+
Calls being sending Yosano in to bribe+
her for a meeting, but considering Yosano has been avoiding his actual calls ever since—
It didn’t work. So he’s going for the big guns this time, Kouyou’s secret weakness:
Oda.
“You know she doesn’t like meeting with you. She thinks it breeds mutiny. Her position is+
It didn’t work. So he’s going for the big guns this time, Kouyou’s secret weakness:
Oda.
“You know she doesn’t like meeting with you. She thinks it breeds mutiny. Her position is+
precarious enough as it is,” Oda says, telling him the same story he’s been told /every/ time he tries to interact with the mafia in any way.
Beyond selling them information, that is. God forbid Dazai actually show his face, but his /information/ is certainly good enough for+
Beyond selling them information, that is. God forbid Dazai actually show his face, but his /information/ is certainly good enough for+
her, isn’t it.
He throws his hands up. “It’s been /fifteen/ years since I gave up the position. I don’t want to be the boss; I don’t even want to be in the /mafia/. When is she going to realize that I’m not after her /job/, I’m trying to /help/?!”
He doesn’t usually get this+
He throws his hands up. “It’s been /fifteen/ years since I gave up the position. I don’t want to be the boss; I don’t even want to be in the /mafia/. When is she going to realize that I’m not after her /job/, I’m trying to /help/?!”
He doesn’t usually get this+
snappy in Oda’s presence, but he’s so /tired/ of this game. He understands why she’s wary— he /is/ still the demon prodigy and Mori’s rightful heir, but he gave up the seat to Yosano when he left 18 years ago and he hasn’t looked back once.
Kouyou has only been the boss for +
Kouyou has only been the boss for +
three years, and there’s a decent amount of people who don’t believe in her right to rule—
But that’s /her/ problem. That has nothing to do with Dazai.
Dazai takes another gulp, hoping to calm his nerves. “And you know, maybe it looks /worse/ on her that she’s too afraid+
But that’s /her/ problem. That has nothing to do with Dazai.
Dazai takes another gulp, hoping to calm his nerves. “And you know, maybe it looks /worse/ on her that she’s too afraid+
to meet with me, has she ever thought of /that/? You don’t rule criminals by /running away/ from people who threaten you.”
The sigh Oda gives is clearly exasperated, even his patience drawn thin. He’s been stuck between them all for years now, as they all try to figure out this+
The sigh Oda gives is clearly exasperated, even his patience drawn thin. He’s been stuck between them all for years now, as they all try to figure out this+
complicated relationship out. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Osamu. I’m just her bodyguard.”
He can’t help it; he laughs /hard/. “Don’t try to lie to me, Odasaku. We both know you’re a /lot/ more than that to her.”
Oda levels him with a wary glance, playing dumb. “What+
He can’t help it; he laughs /hard/. “Don’t try to lie to me, Odasaku. We both know you’re a /lot/ more than that to her.”
Oda levels him with a wary glance, playing dumb. “What+
do you mean?”
Raising a hand, Dazai puts fingers up as he counts off, “First of all, you get this big, dopey, lovesick look on your face whenever you mention her. Secondly, you wouldn’t rise up the ranks for just /anyone/. She also includes you in /everything/.”
Oda is+
Raising a hand, Dazai puts fingers up as he counts off, “First of all, you get this big, dopey, lovesick look on your face whenever you mention her. Secondly, you wouldn’t rise up the ranks for just /anyone/. She also includes you in /everything/.”
Oda is+
slowly turning pale,hand tight enough on his glass to break it.He needs a refill.The bartender doesn’t approach.
“Last of all,and most damning— Yosano /brags/ when she’s drunk. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard the story of the time her and Kouyou bent you over the—.”+
“Last of all,and most damning— Yosano /brags/ when she’s drunk. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard the story of the time her and Kouyou bent you over the—.”+
“Alright,” Oda interrupts, waving the bartender over, “I get it.”
Dazai slides his once-again empty cup over as well. He raises his hands at Oda, the classic sign of non-aggression, but his smile is wicked. “There’s nothing wrong with getting pegged til you cry, but you don’t +
Dazai slides his once-again empty cup over as well. He raises his hands at Oda, the classic sign of non-aggression, but his smile is wicked. “There’s nothing wrong with getting pegged til you cry, but you don’t +
have to lie about it. Not to me.”
The bartender sets fresh whiskey down in front of them, expression politely closed off. The poor man has probably heard too many things in the course of his career.
“No one is supposed to know,” Oda says, picking up his glass, “you can’t tell+
The bartender sets fresh whiskey down in front of them, expression politely closed off. The poor man has probably heard too many things in the course of his career.
“No one is supposed to know,” Oda says, picking up his glass, “you can’t tell+
anyone.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Shooting him a knowing look, Oda says dryly, “No secrets are safe with you, Osamu.”
Dazai has to admit, that /hurt/. It’s not uncalled for or coming from a wrong place— he /is/ the reigning king of the information network for a reason—+
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Shooting him a knowing look, Oda says dryly, “No secrets are safe with you, Osamu.”
Dazai has to admit, that /hurt/. It’s not uncalled for or coming from a wrong place— he /is/ the reigning king of the information network for a reason—+
but it still /hurts/.
He’s never done anything to hurt Oda, and never would. To think that he wouldn’t trust him, even after all he’s done and how long they’ve known eachother...
Makes his chest hurt, heart squeezing painfully in his chest.
He frowns into his drink. “/Your/+
He’s never done anything to hurt Oda, and never would. To think that he wouldn’t trust him, even after all he’s done and how long they’ve known eachother...
Makes his chest hurt, heart squeezing painfully in his chest.
He frowns into his drink. “/Your/+
secrets are. They always have been.”
Heavy silence falls between them for a second, crushing.
Then Oda is nodding, exhaling. “Yeah, I know.”
Thé look they share is inexplicably fond, and for a moment, Dazai is 15 again, with Oda busting into his room in a panic, convinced+
Heavy silence falls between them for a second, crushing.
Then Oda is nodding, exhaling. “Yeah, I know.”
Thé look they share is inexplicably fond, and for a moment, Dazai is 15 again, with Oda busting into his room in a panic, convinced+
Mori was going to kill him because he didn’t finish the assassination job.
He’d left a kid alive, because he couldn’t bring himself to kill a helpless child and now he had to find a place for them to stay before they both got caught and killed.
It was stressful then, but the+
He’d left a kid alive, because he couldn’t bring himself to kill a helpless child and now he had to find a place for them to stay before they both got caught and killed.
It was stressful then, but the+
image of the Oda back then— with the leather jacket and the brass knuckles always on his fingers, and the nose piercing, the way he /always/ wore those knee-high boots even when the job didn’t call for it— fussing over a kid makes Dazai smile with lingering affection.
Oda was+
Oda was+
always too soft for the mafia, in a lot of ways. It’s a miracle he’s still alive, still the kind man that takes in orphans and gives them a home.
“Okay,” Oda finally agrees, “I’ll do what I have to get her to agree to meeting with you.”
(Dazai does /not/ think about ‘what he+
“Okay,” Oda finally agrees, “I’ll do what I have to get her to agree to meeting with you.”
(Dazai does /not/ think about ‘what he+
has to do’ but he’s pretty sure he’s going to hear about it from Yosano later /anyways/.
It’s not like he’s shy about sex or anything, he just wishes she didn’t use so many /details/ about his best friend.)
Dazai smiles at him gratefully, relieved that the hard part of the +
It’s not like he’s shy about sex or anything, he just wishes she didn’t use so many /details/ about his best friend.)
Dazai smiles at him gratefully, relieved that the hard part of the +
evening is over, and now they can relax—
“Now tell me about your problem.”
That’s the thing about knowing someone for a /very/ long time: it’s hard to lie to them, even by omission.
“I just did,” Dazai says, looking away. He’s glad he’s three drinks already, blood beginning+
“Now tell me about your problem.”
That’s the thing about knowing someone for a /very/ long time: it’s hard to lie to them, even by omission.
“I just did,” Dazai says, looking away. He’s glad he’s three drinks already, blood beginning+
to turn warm.
Oda rolls his eyes. “No, the Rats are an inconvenience, and so is the meeting with Kouyou. Neither of those are /problems/— so tell me. Maybe I can help.”
Well—
He probably /should/ talk about it.
Drumming his fingers on the bar, he admits, “I met someone.”+
Oda rolls his eyes. “No, the Rats are an inconvenience, and so is the meeting with Kouyou. Neither of those are /problems/— so tell me. Maybe I can help.”
Well—
He probably /should/ talk about it.
Drumming his fingers on the bar, he admits, “I met someone.”+
Oda raises an eyebrow at him, which is his equivalent of a scandalized gasp. “You... /met/ someone?”
Dazai gets why he’s surprised. He’s been notoriously anti-relationship since they’ve known eachother,and the closest thing he’s had has been brief flings at the club. He doesn’t+
Dazai gets why he’s surprised. He’s been notoriously anti-relationship since they’ve known eachother,and the closest thing he’s had has been brief flings at the club. He doesn’t+
mention most of them beyond casual conversation, because, as Oda knows very well, their lives are dangerous.
Anyone close to them is a potential target. More so for Dazai, because he’s a walking goldmine of information /and/ he doesn’t have a clan to back him up as protection.+
Anyone close to them is a potential target. More so for Dazai, because he’s a walking goldmine of information /and/ he doesn’t have a clan to back him up as protection.+
When Dazai doesn’t immediately offer more information, Oda lets him simmer for a second before asking, “How did you two meet?”
Suddenly, Dazai regrets bringing up the conversation. Yes, he was hoping for some solid, outsider perspective and maybe some advice but—
/How/ does +
Suddenly, Dazai regrets bringing up the conversation. Yes, he was hoping for some solid, outsider perspective and maybe some advice but—
/How/ does +
he say ‘well it all started when my son brought home his newest conquest but I decided I liked him more so I stole him’ without sounding weird?
Or worse, like a /predator/?
So he goes in a little different of a direction. “I /know/ I shouldn’t get involved with anyone because+
Or worse, like a /predator/?
So he goes in a little different of a direction. “I /know/ I shouldn’t get involved with anyone because+
it’s dangerous, and I /tried/, Oda, I really did but— I just couldn’t stay away.And the more time I spend with him, the more time I /want/ to spend with him, even though I know it’s a bad idea.”
“I assume that /he/—“ Oda shoots him a knowing look, “— is a regular citizen then?”+
“I assume that /he/—“ Oda shoots him a knowing look, “— is a regular citizen then?”+
Dazai nods. He hasn’t researched Chuuya’s background /too/ much— because the power imbalance is already staggeringly high, with their age, height /and/ experience difference, and he’s not keen to make it even /more/ imbalanced— but so far, he’s just a normal college kid.
“Can+
“Can+
you protect him?"
Staring broodily into his drink, he shrugs a little. "I can try."
But that's all he can do.He can't guarantee his protection, and there's only one of him against all of his enemies. There's no telling what might happen, and there is always the possiblity that+
Staring broodily into his drink, he shrugs a little. "I can try."
But that's all he can do.He can't guarantee his protection, and there's only one of him against all of his enemies. There's no telling what might happen, and there is always the possiblity that+
someone, someday, might overpower or outthink Dazai--
And then Chuuya will be the one paying for his actions, in probably dozens of terrible, agonizing ways.
"Does he know? About your past, and what you do?"
Dazai shakes his head. "No, I haven't told him yet. I'm sure Chuuya +
And then Chuuya will be the one paying for his actions, in probably dozens of terrible, agonizing ways.
"Does he know? About your past, and what you do?"
Dazai shakes his head. "No, I haven't told him yet. I'm sure Chuuya +
suspects something, but he hasn't asked yet. If we keep going, I'll tell him eventually, but we're not there yet."
Oda frowns,looking thoughtful,like he's trying to remember something.
When he doesn't answer, Dazai eventually looks up. "What?"
"What did you say his name was?"+
Oda frowns,looking thoughtful,like he's trying to remember something.
When he doesn't answer, Dazai eventually looks up. "What?"
"What did you say his name was?"+
"Chuuya," Dazai answers slowly, instinctively not giving more information than needed. "Why?"
Oda takes another sip, eyebrows furrowed. "I feel like I've heard that name before."
"Well it /is/ somewhat common, so...?"
That seems to satisfy him, because he nods slightly. He +
Oda takes another sip, eyebrows furrowed. "I feel like I've heard that name before."
"Well it /is/ somewhat common, so...?"
That seems to satisfy him, because he nods slightly. He +
still has a distant look in his eye, like he's trying to remember something.
Or maybe he's just thinking hard about what to say, because after a moment, he's saying, "I think that, if you want it and you think the relationship is worth it, then you should tell him about your+
Or maybe he's just thinking hard about what to say, because after a moment, he's saying, "I think that, if you want it and you think the relationship is worth it, then you should tell him about your+
work. It wouldn't be fair for him not to know."
Yeah, that makes sense. Though that's a /difficult/ conversation, one filled with stories that Dazai doesn't particularly want to get into, and he's /pretty/ sure Chuuya won't want him afterwards, once he knows what he does.
What+
Yeah, that makes sense. Though that's a /difficult/ conversation, one filled with stories that Dazai doesn't particularly want to get into, and he's /pretty/ sure Chuuya won't want him afterwards, once he knows what he does.
What+
he's done. How much blood and terror is on his hands.
"Alright, now stop avoiding the question and tell me how you met."
Ah. Oda knows him far too well to let him get away with anything, huh?
Closing his eyes, he takes a sip for courage. He has to play this carefully, +
"Alright, now stop avoiding the question and tell me how you met."
Ah. Oda knows him far too well to let him get away with anything, huh?
Closing his eyes, he takes a sip for courage. He has to play this carefully, +
because if Oda thinks that he's being predatory, he's /not/ afraid to kick his ass, right here in the bar. He's always been protective of kids.
Taking a deep breath, he mumbles something into his glass. It's too low to hear.
"Come again?"
"I /said/, I met him when Shuuji +
Taking a deep breath, he mumbles something into his glass. It's too low to hear.
"Come again?"
"I /said/, I met him when Shuuji +
brought him home."
Silence. Crystal clear, cutting silence, heavy with tension.
"Dazai, how old is he?" Even now, Oda's voice is carefully neutral.
He squeezes his eyes shut. "18.....and a half."
On second thought, he doesn't think adding the half makes his case any better.+
Silence. Crystal clear, cutting silence, heavy with tension.
"Dazai, how old is he?" Even now, Oda's voice is carefully neutral.
He squeezes his eyes shut. "18.....and a half."
On second thought, he doesn't think adding the half makes his case any better.+
"And your son is...dating him?"
Dazai scratches the back of his head. "Well he /was/...but he's not anymore.."
Actually, he doesn't know if that's strictly true. They haven't had that conversation yet, but he's /assuming/ he's stopped talking to Shuuji.
God, he hopes so. That+
Dazai scratches the back of his head. "Well he /was/...but he's not anymore.."
Actually, he doesn't know if that's strictly true. They haven't had that conversation yet, but he's /assuming/ he's stopped talking to Shuuji.
God, he hopes so. That+
would be /really/ awkward, all things considered, and also Shuuji clearly does /not/ know what he's doing.
(Which is almost embarrassing, that his son is apparently such a bad boyfriend--did they actually date, though?-- that it only took a few nice words and a decent kiss to+
(Which is almost embarrassing, that his son is apparently such a bad boyfriend--did they actually date, though?-- that it only took a few nice words and a decent kiss to+
steal his attention.
On second thought, that's probably a good thing, because being a 'good boyfriend' is exactly how he wound up getting someone pregnant at 16.)
Oda stares at him for a moment, expression forcibly blank, and Dazai /swears/ he's about to get dragged out of his+
On second thought, that's probably a good thing, because being a 'good boyfriend' is exactly how he wound up getting someone pregnant at 16.)
Oda stares at him for a moment, expression forcibly blank, and Dazai /swears/ he's about to get dragged out of his+
chair--
Instead, he starts /laughing/.Hard, loudly,like he's just thought of something /hilarious/.
Dazai doesn't know what to think. Has he snapped? Gone off the deep end? He's so mad he's laughing?
Then, in between his laughter: "It's like stealing a boyfriend from a baby!"+
Instead, he starts /laughing/.Hard, loudly,like he's just thought of something /hilarious/.
Dazai doesn't know what to think. Has he snapped? Gone off the deep end? He's so mad he's laughing?
Then, in between his laughter: "It's like stealing a boyfriend from a baby!"+
Dazai glares at him, fighting the growing smile on his face. "It's not that funny."
Wiping his eyes, Oda cackles, "You /stole/ your son's boyfriend and are now having an existential crisis about dating him, it's pretty damn funny."
Okay, yeah, when you put it like /that/, it+
Wiping his eyes, Oda cackles, "You /stole/ your son's boyfriend and are now having an existential crisis about dating him, it's pretty damn funny."
Okay, yeah, when you put it like /that/, it+
is pretty funny.
"Okay, you /have/ to marry him, I can't wait to see the look on Shuuji's face when he sees his new /step-parent/!"
That does Dazai in, and now he's joining, laughing from deep in his chest at the absurdity.
After weeks of tension and nerves, the release +
"Okay, you /have/ to marry him, I can't wait to see the look on Shuuji's face when he sees his new /step-parent/!"
That does Dazai in, and now he's joining, laughing from deep in his chest at the absurdity.
After weeks of tension and nerves, the release +
feels great, like a weight lifted off his chest. For a moment, the rest of the world fades away.
There's no meeting with Kouyou, no stress about his relationship with Chuuya, no idiot son Shuuji, no Rats, nothing.
Just him and Oda, laughing it up at the Lupin like old times.+
There's no meeting with Kouyou, no stress about his relationship with Chuuya, no idiot son Shuuji, no Rats, nothing.
Just him and Oda, laughing it up at the Lupin like old times.+
Eventually they begin to wind down, when they can't breathe anymore. Oda is clutching his stomach while Dazai has his head in both hands, wheezing.
Taking a deep breath that finally feels like it fills him completely, Dazai sighs. "So you don't think it's weird or anything?"+
Taking a deep breath that finally feels like it fills him completely, Dazai sighs. "So you don't think it's weird or anything?"+
Oda shifts on his seat, stretching his spine out and raising his arms overhead. "No, I do think it's weird, /but/ as long as he makes you happy, then I'm happy. I know you'll treat him well, and he's in safe hands."
That... means a lot more to Dazai than Oda probably knows.+
That... means a lot more to Dazai than Oda probably knows.+
There's a lot of people--and even himself, most of the time--who believe that Dazai destroys and corrupts everything he touches.He's a menace, he's bad news, he's something to run and hide from.
Chuuya being so eager for him /is/ touching, and it does help in some aspects but--+
Chuuya being so eager for him /is/ touching, and it does help in some aspects but--+
He doesn't /know/, not yet,and Dazai doesn't know him well enough to guess his reaction yet. He might never talk to Dazai again,might call him a monster.
But Oda does know him, and the fact that he would say that anything is safe with Dazai, knowing his past...
It means a lot.+
But Oda does know him, and the fact that he would say that anything is safe with Dazai, knowing his past...
It means a lot.+
Before Dazai can figure out what to say, Oda is speaking again, voice soft. "I'm happy for you Dazai. I was worried about you for a long time, but you look better now."
Gentle warmth fills him, like the rising dawn. He smiles genuinely. "I feel better, now."
----- +
Gentle warmth fills him, like the rising dawn. He smiles genuinely. "I feel better, now."
----- +
------- 25 YEARS AGO -------
The problem with these cookie-cutter, residential suburban houses that look like different colored versions of the house that came before and all the ones that come after it--
Is that all those security measures--the locks, the alarm systems, the+
The problem with these cookie-cutter, residential suburban houses that look like different colored versions of the house that came before and all the ones that come after it--
Is that all those security measures--the locks, the alarm systems, the+
stupid, yapping dogs-- are all easily bypassed. It's all just the same, almost too easy.
A snip to the internet line on the side of the house makes the alarm system a dud.
The locks on the door? Useless, because the hinge screws on the knob are only a few centimeters long, and+
A snip to the internet line on the side of the house makes the alarm system a dud.
The locks on the door? Useless, because the hinge screws on the knob are only a few centimeters long, and+
are easily taken care of by one solid kick near the knob.
Mori strolls into the newly-broken into house, guards flanking him on either side. They spread out into the entryway, clearing the room for him.
A dog, medium-sized and snarling, comes at them. It's too afraid to jump+
Mori strolls into the newly-broken into house, guards flanking him on either side. They spread out into the entryway, clearing the room for him.
A dog, medium-sized and snarling, comes at them. It's too afraid to jump+
at them yet, but it's annoying anyways.
"Call off your dog, please," Mori calls out pleasantly into the house, like he hasn't just broken in with a contingent of armed dogs, "or I will put it down."
When an answer isn't immediately forthcoming, Mori motions for the nearest +
"Call off your dog, please," Mori calls out pleasantly into the house, like he hasn't just broken in with a contingent of armed dogs, "or I will put it down."
When an answer isn't immediately forthcoming, Mori motions for the nearest +
guard to draw his gun--
And smiles when a frightened, feminine voice from the darkness calls out a name. The dog goes scampering back into the darkness, tail tucked between it's legs.
The house is nice, Mori muses, for a middle class family. Spacious enough for growth, with+
And smiles when a frightened, feminine voice from the darkness calls out a name. The dog goes scampering back into the darkness, tail tucked between it's legs.
The house is nice, Mori muses, for a middle class family. Spacious enough for growth, with+
just enough shiny appliances and decorations to hint at a /better/ lifestyle.
However, Mori knows one secret about this family, something that has come back to haunt them:
Gen'emon Dazai cannot afford any of this, not even a single one of the atrociously gaudy decorations. +
However, Mori knows one secret about this family, something that has come back to haunt them:
Gen'emon Dazai cannot afford any of this, not even a single one of the atrociously gaudy decorations. +
"You owe me a great debt, Gen'emon," Mori calls out into the darkness. He's not surprised that the man hasn't come out to face him; he's always been a cowardly man, quick to run from anything approaching danger or responsibility.
Which is the exact reason Mori is paying a house+
Which is the exact reason Mori is paying a house+
call. It's not about the debt anymore; it's about the /principle/ of the thing.
The Port Mafia always hunts down it's stray dogs, eventually. You can never run for long.
"Please, I-- I'll get you the money, I swear!"
Mori follows the voice further into the house, into the +
The Port Mafia always hunts down it's stray dogs, eventually. You can never run for long.
"Please, I-- I'll get you the money, I swear!"
Mori follows the voice further into the house, into the +
living room. In it, huddled in a corner like that might save them, are Gen’emon and his young family.
“Even if I did believe you,” Mori sighs, hands in his pockets as he approaches. “It’s far too late for that.”
He crouches down in front of them, his guards following silently+
“Even if I did believe you,” Mori sighs, hands in his pockets as he approaches. “It’s far too late for that.”
He crouches down in front of them, his guards following silently+
behind him. To most, the way Gen’emon clutches his wife and son to his chest might seem desperate, an act of love.
To Mori, it just looks /cowardly/, hiding behind a woman and a child.
Tane Dazai is pretty, even as she chokes back frightened sobs and tears pour down her face.+
To Mori, it just looks /cowardly/, hiding behind a woman and a child.
Tane Dazai is pretty, even as she chokes back frightened sobs and tears pour down her face.+
The child, however—
Stone silent, expression blankly curious as he stares up at Mori with big, dark eyes. His hair looks mussed, like he just woke up.
Mori tilts his head, offering a sharp, heartless smile. “And /you/ must be little Osamu, yes?”
The boy nods slightly.+
Stone silent, expression blankly curious as he stares up at Mori with big, dark eyes. His hair looks mussed, like he just woke up.
Mori tilts his head, offering a sharp, heartless smile. “And /you/ must be little Osamu, yes?”
The boy nods slightly.+
“Tell me, Dazai Osamu— are you afraid?”
Mori knows he’s a frightening man. Between the lab coat, the armed guards, the calculating gaze—
Most people, even grown adults, fear him unless he’s actively trying to appear friendly.
But this child, this tiny, too-skinny child, +
Mori knows he’s a frightening man. Between the lab coat, the armed guards, the calculating gaze—
Most people, even grown adults, fear him unless he’s actively trying to appear friendly.
But this child, this tiny, too-skinny child, +
with eyes too big for his face, merely stares up at Mori and asks, “Should I be?”
Oh, he definitely should.Mori has plans for him.
He’s heard quite a lot about the boy from the people he’s had researching Gen’emon, preparing a thick file for this exact moment.
Wickedly smart,+
Oh, he definitely should.Mori has plans for him.
He’s heard quite a lot about the boy from the people he’s had researching Gen’emon, preparing a thick file for this exact moment.
Wickedly smart,+
so much so that he’s skipped several grades already, with a blank, morbidly curious attitude that often lands him in trouble, and a surprising disinterest and inability to connect with other kids his age.
Smart and isolated and unafraid. The perfect combination, really. It’d be+
Smart and isolated and unafraid. The perfect combination, really. It’d be+
a shame to let that go to waste.
He turns his gaze to Gen’emon. “Did you really think I wouldn’t hunt you down like a stray dog when you started avoiding our calls?
The man gulps, opening his mouth to give some excuse or another, always the lying sack of shit.
Mori holds+
He turns his gaze to Gen’emon. “Did you really think I wouldn’t hunt you down like a stray dog when you started avoiding our calls?
The man gulps, opening his mouth to give some excuse or another, always the lying sack of shit.
Mori holds+
up his hand. He doesn’t want to hear it, and in this neighborhood, police response time is quick. He doesn’t have time to argue.
“I’m going to give you two choices; you can either die, right here, right now. Or—“ Mori’s gaze falls to the boy again, who is finally starting to +
“I’m going to give you two choices; you can either die, right here, right now. Or—“ Mori’s gaze falls to the boy again, who is finally starting to +
look wary. “You can let someone /else/ pay your debt.”
It’s a sad fact that Gen’emon doesn’t even hesitate before nodding frantically. Truly, the most spineless of cowards, the type of person Mori both despises and takes advantage of.
Fathers can rarely be trusted to be +
It’s a sad fact that Gen’emon doesn’t even hesitate before nodding frantically. Truly, the most spineless of cowards, the type of person Mori both despises and takes advantage of.
Fathers can rarely be trusted to be +
what their children need them to be, it seems.
“Right,” Mori mutters, holding out a hand to Osamu. “Come along then.”
Osamu stares at him for a while, unmoving. “I don’t think I want to,” he says eventually, looking over his shoulder to Tane. “Mom, tell him I don’t want to.”+
“Right,” Mori mutters, holding out a hand to Osamu. “Come along then.”
Osamu stares at him for a while, unmoving. “I don’t think I want to,” he says eventually, looking over his shoulder to Tane. “Mom, tell him I don’t want to.”+
Tane clutches her son close, fingers like claws in his sleep shirt. She's hyperventilating by now, so distressed that she can barely do anything except gasp out a useless "please-- no, /not/ him, /please/."
Gen'emon pries her hands off him, forcibly pushing the child out of the+
Gen'emon pries her hands off him, forcibly pushing the child out of the+
circle of his restraining arms. "We'll get him back, Tane," he mutters, pushing Osamu forward. Then he looks up at Mori, and /finally/ that desperate, frantic look in his eye might not only be just for himself. "We can get him back, right? When I pay the debt?"
He should know +
He should know +
better than to trust Mori, but lies taste sweetest when they come from the devil's tongue.
He smiles, letting his face soften. "Of course. You give me what is owed,and I'll return him to you, without a scratch."
Osamu nearly stumbles as he's pushed, but Mori catches him easily+
He smiles, letting his face soften. "Of course. You give me what is owed,and I'll return him to you, without a scratch."
Osamu nearly stumbles as he's pushed, but Mori catches him easily+
with a hand on his elbow. Dismissing the parents entirely, he turns to him. "You,little one,are coming with me. I'm going to be watching over you while your parents go to work. Don't be afraid, I won't let anything harm you."
Osamu doesn't look like he believes him and he looks+
Osamu doesn't look like he believes him and he looks+
over his shoulder at his sobbing mother a few times as he's coaxed away. It looks for a second that he might fight, but when he catches sight of the guns holstered on the thighs of all the guards, he settles into wide-eyed, silent compliance.
Mori nods at his guards as he +
Mori nods at his guards as he +
passes, violet eyes flashing cruelly in the low lighting.
It's been 10 minutes since they arrived. A house across the street has it's lights on, and Mori can see a shadowy figure moving across the window.
In the distance, police sirens. Time's almost up.
He drags Osamu with+
It's been 10 minutes since they arrived. A house across the street has it's lights on, and Mori can see a shadowy figure moving across the window.
In the distance, police sirens. Time's almost up.
He drags Osamu with+
him to the van waiting parked in the driveway. It's black, windowless, no license plates with the windshield darkened too much to easily see inside. Another grunt is sitting in the drivers seat, waiting.
Mori climbs with Osamu into the back, shutting the door behind him as he +
Mori climbs with Osamu into the back, shutting the door behind him as he +
gives the signal to move.
The van reverses smoothly, pulling out into the street and making an easy getaway through the side streets of the residential area.
As they leave,Osamu speaks up quietly, voice dead and all the sadder for it, "I'm not going back, am I?"
Mori pats his+
The van reverses smoothly, pulling out into the street and making an easy getaway through the side streets of the residential area.
As they leave,Osamu speaks up quietly, voice dead and all the sadder for it, "I'm not going back, am I?"
Mori pats his+
head, making a sympathetic noise.Poor thing will have to grow out of this soft, hesitant behavior."There's nothing left for you to go back to."
A few hours later, on the morning news:
"Husband and wife found dead in their house. Cause of death were three gunshots to the chest.+
A few hours later, on the morning news:
"Husband and wife found dead in their house. Cause of death were three gunshots to the chest.+
Initial reports suspect this might be a mafia killing, as both their jaws were shattered before death. No robbery is suspected.
"Their son is nowhere to be found. If you see this little boy, please call the number on the screen.
"He might be in danger."
-------- +
"Their son is nowhere to be found. If you see this little boy, please call the number on the screen.
"He might be in danger."
-------- +
Somehow, they end up falling into a routine. Chuuya doesn't know why he was ever worried about making contact with Dazai, because now that they're /talking/, it's so hard to stop.
He texts Dazai during class, while he's doing his homework, hell, even during the shower. As soon+
He texts Dazai during class, while he's doing his homework, hell, even during the shower. As soon+
he gets that little /ding!/ from his phone, it's like all he can think about is /what'd he say, what'd he say, I have to keep talking to him--/.
Admittedly, he's a bit obsessed. It's probably a good thing that Dazai goes silent for odd hours of the day, leaving him unanswered.+
Admittedly, he's a bit obsessed. It's probably a good thing that Dazai goes silent for odd hours of the day, leaving him unanswered.+
That's probably the only reason he still manages to get all his homework and studying done.
He can't pick up any sense of pattern to Dazai's day though,even after a week straight of texting.Sometimes he'll be talkative during most of the day and silent at night
Sometimes he'll+
He can't pick up any sense of pattern to Dazai's day though,even after a week straight of texting.Sometimes he'll be talkative during most of the day and silent at night
Sometimes he'll+
answer Chuuya's text at 2a.m. and then be silent again until halfway through the day.
Whenever he asks what he's doing or where he went, the response is always the same--
"I was working."
What job starts at 3a.m. and then ends at 2p.m. one day, and then returns to normal +
Whenever he asks what he's doing or where he went, the response is always the same--
"I was working."
What job starts at 3a.m. and then ends at 2p.m. one day, and then returns to normal +
business hours the next day, he doesn't know. Dazai still hasn't offered him any information about his job beyond 'personal protection'.
It does make him kind of worried, even though it might not be his place, because Dazai doesn't seem to have /any/ sort of regular sleeping +
It does make him kind of worried, even though it might not be his place, because Dazai doesn't seem to have /any/ sort of regular sleeping +
schedule, like at all. He's not even sure /when/ he sleeps, and whenever he asks, Dazai brushes it off when a 'I sleep just fine, chibi, but you're sweet to worry.'
It's frustrating, to be honest, because he's seen the dark circles under his eyes, and he doesn't /want/ Dazai to+
It's frustrating, to be honest, because he's seen the dark circles under his eyes, and he doesn't /want/ Dazai to+
text him back too-early in the morning if that means he's losing /sleep/. Chuuya can wait.
Today is one such day. It's later in the evening, and Chuuya is relaxing in bed after a long day of studying and classes. They're starting to gear up for finals week, so his brain feels+
Today is one such day. It's later in the evening, and Chuuya is relaxing in bed after a long day of studying and classes. They're starting to gear up for finals week, so his brain feels+
even more stretched thin than usual.
There's a show on the TV that he's /supposed/ to be watching,but he's ignoring it in favor of smiling stupidly at his conversation with Dazai.
[ CHUUYA ]: send yoko pics :( I want to see her!
[ DADDY🥰💕 ]: I'm starting to suspect you only+
There's a show on the TV that he's /supposed/ to be watching,but he's ignoring it in favor of smiling stupidly at his conversation with Dazai.
[ CHUUYA ]: send yoko pics :( I want to see her!
[ DADDY🥰💕 ]: I'm starting to suspect you only+
want me for one thing.
[ CHUUYA ]: no........
[ CHUUYA ]: two things! you forgot kozo :(
[ DADDY 🥰💕]: I'm hurt.
Before Chuuya can tease him any further, there's a picture coming in and--
/Hello, Dazai/.
He's not even sure if it's /supposed/ to be a teasing picture, +
[ CHUUYA ]: no........
[ CHUUYA ]: two things! you forgot kozo :(
[ DADDY 🥰💕]: I'm hurt.
Before Chuuya can tease him any further, there's a picture coming in and--
/Hello, Dazai/.
He's not even sure if it's /supposed/ to be a teasing picture, +
because Yoko clearly is the focus of the picture, with her face in her signature doggy grin and ears pointed towards the camera. She's even wearing her pink bandana again, which is /so/ adorable Chuuya might just die.
/However/, it's clear that she's nestled between Dazai's +
/However/, it's clear that she's nestled between Dazai's +
thighs, with his long fingers wrapped around her collar to keep her positioned correctly.
The black slacks are his trademark by now, but /above/ that, is just a /teasing/ sliver of stomach.
Either he's not wearing a shirt, or it's rucked up, but either way, Chuuya gets a +
The black slacks are his trademark by now, but /above/ that, is just a /teasing/ sliver of stomach.
Either he's not wearing a shirt, or it's rucked up, but either way, Chuuya gets a +
deliciously teasing glimpse of a triangle of skin just above his waistband.
The lighting is low, but if Chuuya zooms in--and he's /not/ ashamed to admit that he zooms in as far as he can--he can just see the outline of Dazai's muscles and a dusting of hair leading further down.+
The lighting is low, but if Chuuya zooms in--and he's /not/ ashamed to admit that he zooms in as far as he can--he can just see the outline of Dazai's muscles and a dusting of hair leading further down.+
/God/.
With the scene from the kitchen engraved into his mind, Chuuya can easily picture what he looks like /shirtless/, all smooth muscles on display, powerful even when he's relaxed in his seat, the king on his throne, fearsome dog sitting politely between his legs.
Chuuya +
With the scene from the kitchen engraved into his mind, Chuuya can easily picture what he looks like /shirtless/, all smooth muscles on display, powerful even when he's relaxed in his seat, the king on his throne, fearsome dog sitting politely between his legs.
Chuuya +
wants those fingers around his /neck/.
Before he can think of something smooth to say--like 'thanks, now show me her owner'-- another text is coming in.
[ DADDY🥰💕]: She's been staring at the front door a lot lately, I think she misses you.
Awwww. He loves Yoko, what a sweet+
Before he can think of something smooth to say--like 'thanks, now show me her owner'-- another text is coming in.
[ DADDY🥰💕]: She's been staring at the front door a lot lately, I think she misses you.
Awwww. He loves Yoko, what a sweet+
girl. The /best/ dog.
[ CHUUYA ]: tell her I miss her too :(
He has to wait for a few minutes for the next response, long enough that he almost falls asleep to the background noise of the TV.
Then:
[ DADDY🥰💕]: Well, if you miss her so much, why don't you come see her?
+
[ CHUUYA ]: tell her I miss her too :(
He has to wait for a few minutes for the next response, long enough that he almost falls asleep to the background noise of the TV.
Then:
[ DADDY🥰💕]: Well, if you miss her so much, why don't you come see her?
+
Chuuya's heart stops. He's glad that Nikolai passed out on his bed when he arrived back to the dorm two hours ago, because the choked, excited squeaking noise he makes is /embarrassing/.
[ CHUUYA ]: now?
Oh god, he's not ready. He hasn't showered yet, and he's in his pajamas+
[ CHUUYA ]: now?
Oh god, he's not ready. He hasn't showered yet, and he's in his pajamas+
still, the ugly ones at that because he hasn't had the mental strength to do laundry yet and--
[ DADDY🥰💕]: No, not now. After class tomorrow. I'll pick you up.
God, that's a whole day of anticipatory /torture/. He's going to be thinking about it /all day/, he's not going to +
[ DADDY🥰💕]: No, not now. After class tomorrow. I'll pick you up.
God, that's a whole day of anticipatory /torture/. He's going to be thinking about it /all day/, he's not going to +
survive.
But it /does/ give him time to prepare, which he definitely needs.
Yuan asked for her shoes back earlier this week, so all he has are his ratty gym shoes and worn-out sneakers, not something he particularly wants to wear on a /date/.
Things have been a /little/ +
But it /does/ give him time to prepare, which he definitely needs.
Yuan asked for her shoes back earlier this week, so all he has are his ratty gym shoes and worn-out sneakers, not something he particularly wants to wear on a /date/.
Things have been a /little/ +
strained between them ever since the party, but he's pretty sure that's just on his end. Yuan hasn't mentioned Shuuji standing him up once, and based on the rants she's given him on that exact behavior earlier on, he's fairly certain she would have some /choice/ things to say if+
she knew.
Part of him wants to tell her, just to get some vindictive anger in his defense but...
He's convinced she'll bring Shuuji into the matter, which isn't exactly a /problem/, but Chuuya feels like he needs to continue to be on somewhat decent terms with Shuuji to keep+
Part of him wants to tell her, just to get some vindictive anger in his defense but...
He's convinced she'll bring Shuuji into the matter, which isn't exactly a /problem/, but Chuuya feels like he needs to continue to be on somewhat decent terms with Shuuji to keep+
seeing Dazai.
(It's a complicated mess,because when he's /with/ Dazai, it feels like nothing could go wrong, but when he's out of sight, Chuuya feels like he's standing on a house of cards, with a single wrong move meaning he'll never see Dazai again.
And that thought hurts.)+
(It's a complicated mess,because when he's /with/ Dazai, it feels like nothing could go wrong, but when he's out of sight, Chuuya feels like he's standing on a house of cards, with a single wrong move meaning he'll never see Dazai again.
And that thought hurts.)+
So he keeps that information to himself, and while he's /certainly/ not as friendly with Shuuji as he was before, he's not rude or angry. He's polite, a little distant.
Ever since that day, whenever Shuuji flirts with him--badly, he must add-- it makes him feel gross and angry,+
Ever since that day, whenever Shuuji flirts with him--badly, he must add-- it makes him feel gross and angry,+
but he tolerates it because he's not even going to /risk/ losing what is building between him and Dazai.
He can be angry and vengeful later.
(And because of that continued relationship,he /also/ knows that Shuuji has plans all day Friday /and/ Saturday, so he and Dazai will be+
He can be angry and vengeful later.
(And because of that continued relationship,he /also/ knows that Shuuji has plans all day Friday /and/ Saturday, so he and Dazai will be+
alone together.
Interrupted.
For over 36 hours, /if/ the date lasts that long.
Chuuya is so nervous and excited he feels like he's vibrating himself apart with energy.)
He's lucky that his physics professor is actually a decent human being, because he lets them have an open+
Interrupted.
For over 36 hours, /if/ the date lasts that long.
Chuuya is so nervous and excited he feels like he's vibrating himself apart with energy.)
He's lucky that his physics professor is actually a decent human being, because he lets them have an open+
class for studying for finals. Attendance is optional, and Chuuya /did/ plan on going but--
He's got a good grade in physics, he's confident in his knowledge,and now that he has a /date/--
He needs to go /shopping/.
The Uber drive from the night of the party has still set him+
He's got a good grade in physics, he's confident in his knowledge,and now that he has a /date/--
He needs to go /shopping/.
The Uber drive from the night of the party has still set him+
back a lot, but he's been careful ever since. This will set him back even more, but he /refuses/ to see Dazai without at least looking nice.
He might /be/ lower middle class, but he doesn't want to /look/ it. Especially to someone he /likes/.
Taking the train to a nearby +
He might /be/ lower middle class, but he doesn't want to /look/ it. Especially to someone he /likes/.
Taking the train to a nearby +
shopping center, he starts the hunt for a better pair of shoes. He only has a few hours before he has to get back to his other classes, so he has to be quick about it.
He's not exactly sure what he's looking for, but with his budget, he knows he doesn't have /too/ many options.+
He's not exactly sure what he's looking for, but with his budget, he knows he doesn't have /too/ many options.+
Anything with any sort of heel or brand is firmly out of his price range. Even the higher-end sneakers are too much.
He doesn't allow himself to even try on the prettier shoes, because he's not going to give himself the temptation or the chance to feel sad when he inevitably+
He doesn't allow himself to even try on the prettier shoes, because he's not going to give himself the temptation or the chance to feel sad when he inevitably+
has to put it back.
It takes him a while--longer than he anticipated, but still within his limits-- to settle on a pair of nice white sneakers, with little rosy-gold accents. It's understated, casual but still /nice/, better than his current options.
And as he's making his way+
It takes him a while--longer than he anticipated, but still within his limits-- to settle on a pair of nice white sneakers, with little rosy-gold accents. It's understated, casual but still /nice/, better than his current options.
And as he's making his way+
to the cash registers, he sees them--
/Earrings/. Beautiful, tiny little earrings in the shape of the sun, with the same rosy-gold hues and with something opal-colored in the middle.
He has to have them.
The price tag on them makes him wince but--
Fuck it. Kouyou is the +
/Earrings/. Beautiful, tiny little earrings in the shape of the sun, with the same rosy-gold hues and with something opal-colored in the middle.
He has to have them.
The price tag on them makes him wince but--
Fuck it. Kouyou is the +
executive accountant of Mori Financial Services,she can afford to send him a few hundred yen for food if he begs nicely.
He'll just make up some excuse about being so wiped out from finals that he ended up ordering food for too many days in a row. It's fine.
With his purchases+
He'll just make up some excuse about being so wiped out from finals that he ended up ordering food for too many days in a row. It's fine.
With his purchases+
in hand, he makes his way back to campus.
Dazai said he was going to pick him up from class, which means he has to get ready /before/ class. It makes him feel a little awkward and overdressed, considering most everyone--including him-- have been showing up in sweats or casual+
Dazai said he was going to pick him up from class, which means he has to get ready /before/ class. It makes him feel a little awkward and overdressed, considering most everyone--including him-- have been showing up in sweats or casual+
clothing ever since they all got reamed by midterms,but hey, he's not complaining about the excuse to dress up. He's just glad that Yuan isn't in that class with him,because he does /not/ have a reasonable explanation.
He doesn't have enough time to wash his hair in the shower,+
He doesn't have enough time to wash his hair in the shower,+
so he ends up doing a braid on the side and pulling it up into a high ponytail, showing off his neck. He leaves a few strands out to frame his face, elegantly wispy.
Because he's going to class, and he doesn't want to call attention to himself as being the guy who wears +
Because he's going to class, and he doesn't want to call attention to himself as being the guy who wears +
makeup--yes, it's 2020 but some people are /still/ assholes, and he doesn't want to ruin his day by having to deal with some stupid jerk--he ends up just highlighting his natural features. Highlighter, some blush, a little mascara. Nothing fancy, but still makes him feel pretty.+
The earrings are pushed into his jeans pocket for later, so he can put them on as he's leaving.
And because Chuuya is pulling out /all/ the stops today,he wears Dazai's shirt again. He ends up tying the excess in the back with a hairtie, tucking the knot under to create a loose+
And because Chuuya is pulling out /all/ the stops today,he wears Dazai's shirt again. He ends up tying the excess in the back with a hairtie, tucking the knot under to create a loose+
flowing outline that both hides his figure and accentuates how small his waist is. He rolls the sleeves up to his elbows.
Maybe it's unfair, but Chuuya is going to make the whole 'going slow' thing as /difficult/ as possible for Dazai, because it's only fair that /both/ of them+
Maybe it's unfair, but Chuuya is going to make the whole 'going slow' thing as /difficult/ as possible for Dazai, because it's only fair that /both/ of them+
are dying from sexual tension.
He slips on his new shoes, and the outfit is complete. Just in time, too, because class starts in 10 minutes and the building is a 5 minute brisk walk away.
As expected, the hour and a half of class is /agony/. He ends up texting Dazai what +
He slips on his new shoes, and the outfit is complete. Just in time, too, because class starts in 10 minutes and the building is a 5 minute brisk walk away.
As expected, the hour and a half of class is /agony/. He ends up texting Dazai what +
building he's in and what time he gets out.
Truthfully, he barely hears a word the professor says, and he's glad he got into the habit of recording his lectures, because he's going to /have/ to listen to it later.
Then, the class ends.
Despite how painful the wait is, he+
Truthfully, he barely hears a word the professor says, and he's glad he got into the habit of recording his lectures, because he's going to /have/ to listen to it later.
Then, the class ends.
Despite how painful the wait is, he+
stays in his seat as most of the class files out,taking the moment to slip the earrings into his ears and check with his phone camera that he still looks good.
Then he walks out as confidently as he can,dodging around a group of frantically-whispering girls as he looks around--+
Then he walks out as confidently as he can,dodging around a group of frantically-whispering girls as he looks around--+
/There/.
Leaning against the opposite building with one foot propped up against the wall behind him, is Dazai. He's got his hair slicked back today, exposing his forehead. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
The black trench coat he's wearing is remarkably+
Leaning against the opposite building with one foot propped up against the wall behind him, is Dazai. He's got his hair slicked back today, exposing his forehead. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
The black trench coat he's wearing is remarkably+
similar to the one Chuuya still has in his closet, but it just makes the dark jeans and loose t-shirt look even better. For once, he's without his signature boots, instead wearing a black pair of sneakers.
There's a single cup of coffee in his hand, balanced on his raised knee.+
There's a single cup of coffee in his hand, balanced on his raised knee.+
When he sees Chuuya, he pushes off the wall, coming over.
(Chuuya tells himself he does /not/ feel a sense of swelling, preening pride when the girls heads follow his progress like a flock of birds watching something shiny, but it's a lie.)
He beams up at Dazai when he gets+
(Chuuya tells himself he does /not/ feel a sense of swelling, preening pride when the girls heads follow his progress like a flock of birds watching something shiny, but it's a lie.)
He beams up at Dazai when he gets+
closer. "Hi," he says, breathlessly.
The smile Dazai graces him with is so soft and fond Chuuya aches with it. "Hello, Chuuya."
Chuuya likes the nicknames, but the unfortunate result is that Dazai says his name so rarely that he feels bowled over and breathless whenever he +
The smile Dazai graces him with is so soft and fond Chuuya aches with it. "Hello, Chuuya."
Chuuya likes the nicknames, but the unfortunate result is that Dazai says his name so rarely that he feels bowled over and breathless whenever he +
/does/ say it.
Long fingers present him with the coffee cup. "For you."
When Chuuya raises an eyebrow at him, Dazai shrugs lightly. "You said you were tired earlier. I already finished my coffee."
How long was he waiting out here, then?
Chuuya takes his cup with a grateful+
Long fingers present him with the coffee cup. "For you."
When Chuuya raises an eyebrow at him, Dazai shrugs lightly. "You said you were tired earlier. I already finished my coffee."
How long was he waiting out here, then?
Chuuya takes his cup with a grateful+
smile, bringing it up to his lips to take a sip--
And nearly chokes on it when Dazai leans down and drops a kiss on his forehead, quick and gentle as a whisper. He can just barely feel the lingering ghost of his smile as Dazai straightens again, hands shoved in his pocket.
He+
And nearly chokes on it when Dazai leans down and drops a kiss on his forehead, quick and gentle as a whisper. He can just barely feel the lingering ghost of his smile as Dazai straightens again, hands shoved in his pocket.
He+
looks distinctly smug at the way he's made Chuuya blush, but he can forgive him for that, simply because of the way the whispering from the girls has gone /dead/ silent.
"Are you ready?"
Chuuya nods, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. "Maybe I should drop my books off first, +
"Are you ready?"
Chuuya nods, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. "Maybe I should drop my books off first, +
though?"
"I brought the car today, so there's room, if that's what you're worried about," Dazai says, following a step behind him as Chuuya makes his way to the parking lots.
In that case, there's no way Chuuya is going to leave his side for even a second, not now that they're+
"I brought the car today, so there's room, if that's what you're worried about," Dazai says, following a step behind him as Chuuya makes his way to the parking lots.
In that case, there's no way Chuuya is going to leave his side for even a second, not now that they're+
finally together again.
Thankfully, Dazai parked nearby, because his physics professors /insists/ on all his students bringing both of the textbooks to class everyday, so his bag is a bit heavier than usual.
Ever the gentleman, Dazai unlocks the car and opens the door for him+
Thankfully, Dazai parked nearby, because his physics professors /insists/ on all his students bringing both of the textbooks to class everyday, so his bag is a bit heavier than usual.
Ever the gentleman, Dazai unlocks the car and opens the door for him+
first. When Chuuya goes to sling his bag over his shoulder to sit at his feet, Dazai catches it with one hand.
When he looks over his shoulder at him, Dazai just gives him a smile and a murmured, "let me."
It doesn't matter that much, so Chuuya lets the bag go and slides into+
When he looks over his shoulder at him, Dazai just gives him a smile and a murmured, "let me."
It doesn't matter that much, so Chuuya lets the bag go and slides into+
the car. The inside of the car is warm, a pleasant contrast to the slightly-cool air outside.
He watches Dazai cross the front of the car, opening his own door and stuffing Chuuya's bag into the back seat behind him before getting in himself.
Chuuya doesn't really understand+
He watches Dazai cross the front of the car, opening his own door and stuffing Chuuya's bag into the back seat behind him before getting in himself.
Chuuya doesn't really understand+
how watching him back out of the spot then ease onto the road, one palm braced against the steering wheel confidently, is such an erotic experience, but every time they drive, he can feel himself slowly heating up from the sight /alone/.
How is /everything/ he does ridiculously+
How is /everything/ he does ridiculously+
hot and rife with tension? It's like he built with the sole intention of driving out of his mind.
"I was thinking," Dazai starts,his free hand palm-up on the center console and so close,so /tempting/, "that I take you home, and I make you dinner. Sound good?"
Sounds /perfect/.+
"I was thinking," Dazai starts,his free hand palm-up on the center console and so close,so /tempting/, "that I take you home, and I make you dinner. Sound good?"
Sounds /perfect/.+
Chuuya nods, excitement filling him. The pancakes Dazai made him were delicious, and the confident way the man moves in the kitchen is an experience in and of itself, so he's /definitely/ not complaining.
Especially when he gets to spend a whole evening with the dogs /and/ +
Especially when he gets to spend a whole evening with the dogs /and/ +
Dazai.
The drive is quicker this time, mostly because Dazai seems to realize that Chuuya isn't afraid of his driving anymore, and so the speed has increased. The smug curl of Dazai's lips whenever they come out of quick turn, accelerating quickly, is /so/ fucking cute.
Chuuya+
The drive is quicker this time, mostly because Dazai seems to realize that Chuuya isn't afraid of his driving anymore, and so the speed has increased. The smug curl of Dazai's lips whenever they come out of quick turn, accelerating quickly, is /so/ fucking cute.
Chuuya+
wants to kiss it off him, and the idea that he's allowed to do that now makes him giddy, light as air.
For once, Dazai doesn't pull into the garage. He parks the car in the driveway, locking it once they both climb out. Chuuya's bag gets left in the car, for the return drive.+
For once, Dazai doesn't pull into the garage. He parks the car in the driveway, locking it once they both climb out. Chuuya's bag gets left in the car, for the return drive.+
Dazai waves him back as they approach the front door, warning him away as he unlocks it. "Brace yourself," he tells him, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
Before Chuuya can ask /why/, he's throwing open the door and calling out, "Yoko! Look what I brought you!"
Yoko comes+
Before Chuuya can ask /why/, he's throwing open the door and calling out, "Yoko! Look what I brought you!"
Yoko comes+
barreling out like her fur is on fire, making a high-pitched yelping noise of excitement. Chuuya /does/ brace himself, because she's headed straight for his legs and she's big enough to bowl him over easily--
At the last, she swerves into the grass, and she's going so fast that+
At the last, she swerves into the grass, and she's going so fast that+
she actually slips on the grass,going tumbling head over heels in the yard.
"Oh my god, Yoko, are you okay--."
Just as fast, she's flipping back onto her feet, and she's so excited that she runs circles around him, looking like a hyper puppy with how she's jumping and yelping.+
"Oh my god, Yoko, are you okay--."
Just as fast, she's flipping back onto her feet, and she's so excited that she runs circles around him, looking like a hyper puppy with how she's jumping and yelping.+
"Alright,"Chuuya laughs, crouching down so he can get down on her level. "I can't pet you when you're running around like that, slow down."
Yoko nearly ends up bowling him over anyways,because she's pushing into his space, tail wagging so hard her entire body is moving with it.+
Yoko nearly ends up bowling him over anyways,because she's pushing into his space, tail wagging so hard her entire body is moving with it.+
He has to steady himself by grabbing onto her collar, laughing as he tries to dodge the licks she's trying to give his cheek. As sweet as it is,he doesn't want his face to taste like dog slobber or his makeup to be licked off.
"Yeah, I missed you too, pretty girl," he tells her+
"Yeah, I missed you too, pretty girl," he tells her+
fondly, scratching her as fast as his hands will go.
Her only response is to flop on her back, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she demands belly pets.
When Chuuya looks up, Dazai is leaning with his shoulder against the doorway, an achingly soft look in his eyes and tiny+
Her only response is to flop on her back, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she demands belly pets.
When Chuuya looks up, Dazai is leaning with his shoulder against the doorway, an achingly soft look in his eyes and tiny+
crooked smile on his face, like he's not even aware of it.
Kozo is sitting beside him, looking down on his sister with an expression that says 'come /on/, you're embarrassing me', but Chuuya doesn't miss the wave of his tail behind him when he notices Chuuya looking at him.
+
Kozo is sitting beside him, looking down on his sister with an expression that says 'come /on/, you're embarrassing me', but Chuuya doesn't miss the wave of his tail behind him when he notices Chuuya looking at him.
+
Chuuya knows what home feels like. That warm, safe feeling when you finally come back, the place where all the things you love and cherish are. Of knowing that you always have somewhere to return to, at the end of every long day.
Chuuya has never had someone look at him like +
Chuuya has never had someone look at him like +
/their/ home might be living and breathing and calls itself by his name.
"Are you coming inside?" Dazai asks, tilting his head towards the open door. His smile grows with a small snort. "Or are you going to stay out here all night, now that you've gotten what you've came for?"+
"Are you coming inside?" Dazai asks, tilting his head towards the open door. His smile grows with a small snort. "Or are you going to stay out here all night, now that you've gotten what you've came for?"+
With a conspiratorial scratch to Yoko's belly, he pretends to think about it,internally laughing at the way Dazai's expression begins to melt into something mock-offended. It's so fun to play with him.
"Well," he says eventually, "I /guess/ I can grace you with my presence for+
"Well," he says eventually, "I /guess/ I can grace you with my presence for+
a while longer."
Watching him as he stands up and brushes the dog fur off his pants, Dazai says with a hint of amusement, "I'm honored, truly."
Kozo greets him with a sniff when he gets close enough, doing his customary head-to-toe inspection. He's not nearly as excitable as +
Watching him as he stands up and brushes the dog fur off his pants, Dazai says with a hint of amusement, "I'm honored, truly."
Kozo greets him with a sniff when he gets close enough, doing his customary head-to-toe inspection. He's not nearly as excitable as +
Yoko is, but he does offer him a few licks on his hands, and his tail sways steadily behind him.
When he's satisfied, Kozo turns around and leads the way back inside. Yoko starts to follow before stopping abruptly, watching Chuuya closely, like he might leave without saying+
When he's satisfied, Kozo turns around and leads the way back inside. Yoko starts to follow before stopping abruptly, watching Chuuya closely, like he might leave without saying+
goodbye when she's not watching.
Dazai lets him enter first, and the presence of him at his back is like a physical thing, warm and heavy and charged. Almost like they're on the bike again, except this time, they know each other better, slowly growing more intertwined with +
Dazai lets him enter first, and the presence of him at his back is like a physical thing, warm and heavy and charged. Almost like they're on the bike again, except this time, they know each other better, slowly growing more intertwined with +
each meeting.
Of course, now all that heat is backed by the knowledge that Dazai /self-admitted/ he was desperate for Chuuya, the knowledge of what he /feels/ like and the desire to know more--
And the frustration that comes with knowing Dazai will probably deny his attempts+
Of course, now all that heat is backed by the knowledge that Dazai /self-admitted/ he was desperate for Chuuya, the knowledge of what he /feels/ like and the desire to know more--
And the frustration that comes with knowing Dazai will probably deny his attempts+
to go /further/, because he wants to go /slowly/ with him.
Even if they’re alone, in Dazai’s house, on a date.
They kick their shoes off, padding into the living room. The dogs follow diligently.
“Are you hungry now? It’ll take about half an hour to make.”
Considering that+
Even if they’re alone, in Dazai’s house, on a date.
They kick their shoes off, padding into the living room. The dogs follow diligently.
“Are you hungry now? It’ll take about half an hour to make.”
Considering that+
Chuuya hasn’t eaten anything all day because he was too excited, yes, he is hungry now. Besides, the faster they eat, then the more time they have to spend together, right? He nods.
Dazai leads the way to the kitchen, and Chuuya follows closely after.
The way he immediately +
Dazai leads the way to the kitchen, and Chuuya follows closely after.
The way he immediately +
pulls out ingredients from the fridge with confidence shouldn’t be as appealing as it is.
“Wine?” He offers, reaching up to pull down a glass.
Chuuya’s mouth waters. Dazai has been spoiling him with rich, expensive wines and he is /not/ complaining. He can barely even +
“Wine?” He offers, reaching up to pull down a glass.
Chuuya’s mouth waters. Dazai has been spoiling him with rich, expensive wines and he is /not/ complaining. He can barely even +
remember what those cheap connivence store wines tasted like. “Yes, please.”
The glass is set in front of him, and the wine Dazai opens and pours for him is dark, a lustful red, and smells like heaven on his tongue.
When Dazai doesn’t get his own glass out, Chuuya raises an+
The glass is set in front of him, and the wine Dazai opens and pours for him is dark, a lustful red, and smells like heaven on his tongue.
When Dazai doesn’t get his own glass out, Chuuya raises an+
eyebrow at him, swirling his glass absently. “Are you going to drink anything?”
He’s noticed Dazai isn’t really a fan of wine—which begs the question on why his house is stocked with it— but he /loves/ whiskey.
Dazai hums. “No; I want to be clearheaded for this.”
For /what/?+
He’s noticed Dazai isn’t really a fan of wine—which begs the question on why his house is stocked with it— but he /loves/ whiskey.
Dazai hums. “No; I want to be clearheaded for this.”
For /what/?+
When Chuuya asks that exact question,all he gets is a cryptic smile and the flash of a knife as Dazai pulls it out of the block.
He’s making beef stir fry with soba noodles, and his confidence with a knife is /criminal/. Smooth, sharp, short slices, all looking effortless, like+
He’s making beef stir fry with soba noodles, and his confidence with a knife is /criminal/. Smooth, sharp, short slices, all looking effortless, like+
he was born with a knife in hand. He doesn’t waver once, and all his cuts look nearly the exact same size and shape.
It’s almost like the knife is an extension of his body, as natural to him as his own hand.
Like most things about Dazai, it’s surprisingly attractive.+
It’s almost like the knife is an extension of his body, as natural to him as his own hand.
Like most things about Dazai, it’s surprisingly attractive.+
(At this point, maybe not so surprising.)
When his wine has had enough time to breathe, he takes a long, slow sip, savoring the taste of heat and decadence on his tongue. It settles slowly in his belly, and he can’t tell if the growing heat there is from him steadily draining +
When his wine has had enough time to breathe, he takes a long, slow sip, savoring the taste of heat and decadence on his tongue. It settles slowly in his belly, and he can’t tell if the growing heat there is from him steadily draining +
his first glass of wine—
Or watching the way Dazai scrapes his knife against lip of the pan, cleaning it.
“When do your finals start?” Dazai asks, casually curious as he starts to mix the sauce together.
Leaning his cheek on his hand, Chuuya watches him. “Mm, not next week,+
Or watching the way Dazai scrapes his knife against lip of the pan, cleaning it.
“When do your finals start?” Dazai asks, casually curious as he starts to mix the sauce together.
Leaning his cheek on his hand, Chuuya watches him. “Mm, not next week,+
but the week after.”
Most of his classes only meet twice more before the day of the final. His professors have offered as much guidance as they can, but it’s all coming to a head soon. Sink or swim, as they say.
Pass or fail.
And for him? Failing might mean losing his+
Most of his classes only meet twice more before the day of the final. His professors have offered as much guidance as they can, but it’s all coming to a head soon. Sink or swim, as they say.
Pass or fail.
And for him? Failing might mean losing his+
scholarships or his spot at Keio entirely.
“You must be stressed,” Dazai murmurs, shooting him a slightly sympathetic glance. The pot of noodles he has is starting to boil, steam filling the air.
Yeah, he’s stressed. He’s done everything he can, and kept his grades up but—+
“You must be stressed,” Dazai murmurs, shooting him a slightly sympathetic glance. The pot of noodles he has is starting to boil, steam filling the air.
Yeah, he’s stressed. He’s done everything he can, and kept his grades up but—+
The tests are never easy, and if he tanks them too hard, well—
Like he said, pass or fail.
He finishes off his first glass of wine with a long swallow. Maybe he should wait to pour himself another one, but he doesn’t feel anything besides a glowing sense of warmth, so it’s +
Like he said, pass or fail.
He finishes off his first glass of wine with a long swallow. Maybe he should wait to pour himself another one, but he doesn’t feel anything besides a glowing sense of warmth, so it’s +
probably fine.
Besides, that gives him a /great/ excuse to walk around the counter to Dazai’s side of the kitchen. “Yeah, it’s pretty stressful.”
Thankfully, Dazai left the bottle open on the counter, so it’s easy to pour himself another glass, just as full as the first. +
Besides, that gives him a /great/ excuse to walk around the counter to Dazai’s side of the kitchen. “Yeah, it’s pretty stressful.”
Thankfully, Dazai left the bottle open on the counter, so it’s easy to pour himself another glass, just as full as the first. +
“I think you can help me out with that though.”
All the necessary vegetables are cut, so Dazai takes a moment to rinse off his knife quickly and wash his hands from any juices. “Oh? How can I help you?”
Stepping closer, Chuuya stares up at him. Dazai doesn’t retreat, taking+
All the necessary vegetables are cut, so Dazai takes a moment to rinse off his knife quickly and wash his hands from any juices. “Oh? How can I help you?”
Stepping closer, Chuuya stares up at him. Dazai doesn’t retreat, taking+
a clean rag to dry his hands with. His eyes are dark, welcoming.
He’s practiced saying this many times, so often that the words started to lose meaning, until he started saying them in his dreams.
Still, they come out slightly breathy and hesitant as he says, “kiss me?” +
He’s practiced saying this many times, so often that the words started to lose meaning, until he started saying them in his dreams.
Still, they come out slightly breathy and hesitant as he says, “kiss me?” +
Tension crackles between them as they stare eachother down, waiting for the other to give in first. The time it takes for Dazai to finish drying his hands feels like it takes forever.
Chuuya’s half convinced he draws it out on purpose, but it’s all worth it when the towel is +
Chuuya’s half convinced he draws it out on purpose, but it’s all worth it when the towel is +
tossed onto the counter, and Dazai is reaching out for him with a murmured, “come here then, beautiful.”
Surrendering to Dazai feels like fate, like inevitability, and the sensation of rough fingertips brushing over his jaw, sliding downwards to cup his cheeks with both hands,+
Surrendering to Dazai feels like fate, like inevitability, and the sensation of rough fingertips brushing over his jaw, sliding downwards to cup his cheeks with both hands,+
tilting his head up as he leans downward—
It feels like the very air in his lungs, sweet relief.
The kiss Dazai captures him in is slow, languid. It’s enjoyment of the simplest kind, the slide of their lips together, the way that Dazai’s breath washes warm over his tongue.+
It feels like the very air in his lungs, sweet relief.
The kiss Dazai captures him in is slow, languid. It’s enjoyment of the simplest kind, the slide of their lips together, the way that Dazai’s breath washes warm over his tongue.+
At some point, Chuuya’s hands wander up to wind up in his hair, running his nails lightly over the growing undercut, feeling a spark when Dazai’s breath hitches audibly with a shiver.
Large thumbs stroke over his cheekbones, roughly the same rhythm he’s kissing Chuuya with. His+
Large thumbs stroke over his cheekbones, roughly the same rhythm he’s kissing Chuuya with. His+
fingers are long enough that they reach Chuuya’s neck easily.He shudders when Dazai lightly flicks one of his earrings, tickling him.
“I like these,” Dazai hums, pulling back just far enough that he can speak into Chuuya’s mouth, “very pretty.”
Then he’s shifting down, pulling+
“I like these,” Dazai hums, pulling back just far enough that he can speak into Chuuya’s mouth, “very pretty.”
Then he’s shifting down, pulling+
his bottom lip into his mouth on one slow /suck/, the suction of his mouth so tempting it’s nearly unbearable.
For a long time, he holds Chuuya there, running his tongue over his captured lip or nibbling on it lightly, until Chuuya feels like he’s stretching thin under the +
For a long time, he holds Chuuya there, running his tongue over his captured lip or nibbling on it lightly, until Chuuya feels like he’s stretching thin under the +
sensations, the throb of his lip matching the rushing of the heat in his veins.
Teeth sink into his lip, almost roughly enough to hurt as Dazai pulls back, taking his lip with him until the stretch is /almost/ painful, drawing out a small, hitched noise.
When Dazai lets him go+
Teeth sink into his lip, almost roughly enough to hurt as Dazai pulls back, taking his lip with him until the stretch is /almost/ painful, drawing out a small, hitched noise.
When Dazai lets him go+
his lip returns to its place with a wet pop.
With half-lidded eyes, Chuuya glares up at him half-heartedly, wondering /why/ exactly he stopped kissing him.
“Don’t want to burn our food, do we?”
He pouts, but moves out of his way so Dazai can take the noodles out of their+
With half-lidded eyes, Chuuya glares up at him half-heartedly, wondering /why/ exactly he stopped kissing him.
“Don’t want to burn our food, do we?”
He pouts, but moves out of his way so Dazai can take the noodles out of their+
pot and replaces the beef in the pan with the vegetables. The meat gets set aside on a plate to wait.
Chuuya’s wineglass, forgotten on the counter, returns to his hand as he takes another swallow. It tastes almost sour now, in comparison to the taste of Dazai on his tongue. +
Chuuya’s wineglass, forgotten on the counter, returns to his hand as he takes another swallow. It tastes almost sour now, in comparison to the taste of Dazai on his tongue. +
It’s starting to get hot in here.
He’s nice enough to wait until Dazai looks like he’s finished with the next step to aim his most pleading look at him with another, “kiss me, please.”
Dazai’s expression is knowing and a little smug, but he gives in again, always weak when+
He’s nice enough to wait until Dazai looks like he’s finished with the next step to aim his most pleading look at him with another, “kiss me, please.”
Dazai’s expression is knowing and a little smug, but he gives in again, always weak when+
Chuuya uses his manners.
This time, the kiss doesn’t last as long before Dazai is leaning lower, bending down. His fingers find the back of Chuuya’s thighs and he hesitates for just a moment, giving him the opportunity to protest, before he’s pulling /up/, lifting him. +
This time, the kiss doesn’t last as long before Dazai is leaning lower, bending down. His fingers find the back of Chuuya’s thighs and he hesitates for just a moment, giving him the opportunity to protest, before he’s pulling /up/, lifting him. +
With a startled noise, Chuuya grips his shoulders tightly, thighs clamping around his hips. Dazai is deliciously solid under him, his arms not so much as trembling as he supports his weight.
They don’t stay there for long though, because Dazai is turning in one smooth motion+
They don’t stay there for long though, because Dazai is turning in one smooth motion+
and depositing him on the empty counter a little ways from the stove.
Chuuya has been between Dazai’s thighs before,and he /liked/ how secure that felt, how safe it felt to be cradled between them, how small. But he’s just now realizing—
He likes Dazai between his legs /more/.+
Chuuya has been between Dazai’s thighs before,and he /liked/ how secure that felt, how safe it felt to be cradled between them, how small. But he’s just now realizing—
He likes Dazai between his legs /more/.+
They’re nearly the same height like this, and Dazai’s waist slots naturally between his knees, his middle thick with muscle. Just underneath, Chuuya can feel the swell of his hips and his knees hook over them easily.
The kiss still manages to be slow, even as it deepens, +
The kiss still manages to be slow, even as it deepens, +
so slow that Chuuya feels drugged by it, his entire existence hanging onto every slide of Dazai’s lips, the brush of his tongue, the teasing edge of his teeth.
It doesn’t feel urgent, like the kiss at the market. It feels all-encompassing, world changing.
When Dazai pulls+
It doesn’t feel urgent, like the kiss at the market. It feels all-encompassing, world changing.
When Dazai pulls+
away this time, Chuuya makes a soft, disappointed noise, trying to hook his ankles behind Dazai’s thighs to keep him in place.
The way Dazai pushes his knee open further, spreading his thighs wider to give himself room to pull away, unexpectedly sends a flash of heat pouring+
The way Dazai pushes his knee open further, spreading his thighs wider to give himself room to pull away, unexpectedly sends a flash of heat pouring+
down his spine.
“Quiet, troublemaker. I know you’re trying to distract me, and it’s not going to work.”
Thé pout is instinctive, his lower lip jutting out childishly. It’s not fair. Chuuya is /more/ than happy to skip dinner in favor of being kissed silly on the counter. +
“Quiet, troublemaker. I know you’re trying to distract me, and it’s not going to work.”
Thé pout is instinctive, his lower lip jutting out childishly. It’s not fair. Chuuya is /more/ than happy to skip dinner in favor of being kissed silly on the counter. +
Dazai snorts fondly, stirring the vegetables in the pot. They smell delicious, even better once he re-adds the meat and pours the sauce in to simmer. “Put that away, before I bite it again.”
The lip juts out further, and now Chuuya’s just being a /brat/.
After a moment though+
The lip juts out further, and now Chuuya’s just being a /brat/.
After a moment though+
he gives in, raising his wineglass to his lips for another drink. The alcohol hits his stomach with intoxicating warmth, and his heart feels almost sluggish in his chest, like it’s struggling to pump molten lava through his veins instead of blood. It’s so hot in here, the +
combination of the wine, Dazai, and the cooking food nearby setting him on fire.
Reaching up, he undoes a single button on his shirt to give himself a little more breathing room. He misses the way the action makes Dazai tense, hands tightening and jaw clenching.
Of course, the+
Reaching up, he undoes a single button on his shirt to give himself a little more breathing room. He misses the way the action makes Dazai tense, hands tightening and jaw clenching.
Of course, the+
unintended result of the alcohol— he’s pouring his third glass now, and although he doesn’t feel tipsy, he’s definitely warm and a little bit lightheaded— is that it makes him /bold/. “And what if I /want/ you to bite me?”
Dazai hums, looking thoughtful as he gives the pan a+
Dazai hums, looking thoughtful as he gives the pan a+
final stir, dumping the contents into a large bowl afterwards. “Then I suppose you’ll have to be good for me.”
Batting his eyelashes, Chuuya agrees, “I can do that. I can be good. I can be /very/ good for you.”
(Dazai is glad he decided not to drink, because the little +
Batting his eyelashes, Chuuya agrees, “I can do that. I can be good. I can be /very/ good for you.”
(Dazai is glad he decided not to drink, because the little +
troublemaker perched on his counter looking delightfully flushed and eager, so pretty while wearing /his/ shirt, promising to be good for him with those big, shiny blue eyes—
Never makes it /easy/ for him. His patience and self-control are stretching dangerously thin.)+
Never makes it /easy/ for him. His patience and self-control are stretching dangerously thin.)+
“Is that so?”
Chuuya nods empathetically, his feet swinging a little in the air. Anticipation is pooling inside him, like liquid energy, making him hyper aware of Dazai’s every movement, the subtle flex and roll of his muscles underneath his shirt.
He lets his eyes drop, +
Chuuya nods empathetically, his feet swinging a little in the air. Anticipation is pooling inside him, like liquid energy, making him hyper aware of Dazai’s every movement, the subtle flex and roll of his muscles underneath his shirt.
He lets his eyes drop, +
checking out Dazai in a move that’s a little /too/ obvious, not that he notices. He’s too busy wondering how good he has to be to get /that/, eyes wandering over his crotch.
“Prove it, then,” Dazai says, and before Chuuya can say that he’ll do anything he wants to prove it—+
“Prove it, then,” Dazai says, and before Chuuya can say that he’ll do anything he wants to prove it—+
There’s a bowl being dropped into his hand, chopsticks buried beneath the deliciously fragrant food.
“Eat,” Dazai says, voice hardening a little. An order, even if a subtle one.
Chuuya doesn’t argue, because his stomach is growling, reminding him how hungry he is. After +
“Eat,” Dazai says, voice hardening a little. An order, even if a subtle one.
Chuuya doesn’t argue, because his stomach is growling, reminding him how hungry he is. After +
another sip of his wine, he digs in. When the flavors burst over his tongue, hot and savory, he gives an unconscious, happy little wiggle, making a satisfied noise. It’s /so/ good.
Dazai watches him eat, feeling a swelling surge of pride and self-satisfaction, because he +
Dazai watches him eat, feeling a swelling surge of pride and self-satisfaction, because he +
clearly likes it. He looks like he was pretty hungry, taking big bites and closing his eyes in pleasure.
For a moment, there’s nothing but the sounds of eating in the kitchen, the click of chopsticks against ceramic.
Chuuya makes it about halfway through his bowl before he +
For a moment, there’s nothing but the sounds of eating in the kitchen, the click of chopsticks against ceramic.
Chuuya makes it about halfway through his bowl before he +
starts to slow down, his belly turning comfortably full. He takes another swallow of wine to top it off, sighing at how good it tastes, how good it feels.
Now that he’s had /one/ satiated, he feels a warm, heavy, almost-sleepy desire for more, centering in his middle and +
Now that he’s had /one/ satiated, he feels a warm, heavy, almost-sleepy desire for more, centering in his middle and +
radiating outward in thick waves.
He goes back to eyeing Dazai, watching the elegant way he lifts bites to his mouth. He’s a slower eater than Chuuya is, but he swears he’s drawing it out on purpose because he can feel Chuuya watching him.
At one point, he even tilts his+
He goes back to eyeing Dazai, watching the elegant way he lifts bites to his mouth. He’s a slower eater than Chuuya is, but he swears he’s drawing it out on purpose because he can feel Chuuya watching him.
At one point, he even tilts his+
head back, offering Chuuya a view of his throat bobbing as he swallows, something so unexpectedly attractive that Chuuya squirms with it.
Despite everything, he manages to stay quiet and patient as Dazai polishes off his entire bowl. He takes sips from his wine— the third +
Despite everything, he manages to stay quiet and patient as Dazai polishes off his entire bowl. He takes sips from his wine— the third +
glass is nearly gone by now, and he’s weighing the desire for more versus the knowledge that if he gets anything remotely close to drunk, Dazai probably won’t touch him— and the occasional bite from the remaining stir fry in his own bowl.
“Are you done?”
Chuuya nods, going+
“Are you done?”
Chuuya nods, going+
to hop off the counter so he can wash their bowls. Cleaning is the least he can do, after that delicious meal of food /and/ watching Dazai cook for him.
But fingers touch his knee, gaining his attention.
“Stay,” Dazai murmurs, plucking the bowl out of his hands easily. +
But fingers touch his knee, gaining his attention.
“Stay,” Dazai murmurs, plucking the bowl out of his hands easily. +
With quick movements, he’s dumping the rest of Chuuya’s bowl in the trash and putting them both in the sink to soak while he takes the rest of the food and packs it away.
“But I wanted to help,” Chuuya mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. It feels wrong to be sitting here+
“But I wanted to help,” Chuuya mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. It feels wrong to be sitting here+
while Dazai does all the work.
“You /are/ helping, beautiful,” Dazai tells him, shooting him a cheesy grin as he empties the pan. “You’re being very motivating right now.”
Oh. He can’t help the heat that crawls into his face, and the sip of wine he takes to cover it up only+
“You /are/ helping, beautiful,” Dazai tells him, shooting him a cheesy grin as he empties the pan. “You’re being very motivating right now.”
Oh. He can’t help the heat that crawls into his face, and the sip of wine he takes to cover it up only+
seems to make it worse.
Waiting for Dazai to finish is like torture, watching him work while he’s not more than a few feet away and not being able to /touch/ him.
By the time he closes the fridge with the leftovers safely locked inside, Chuuya is aching for him, for just a+
Waiting for Dazai to finish is like torture, watching him work while he’s not more than a few feet away and not being able to /touch/ him.
By the time he closes the fridge with the leftovers safely locked inside, Chuuya is aching for him, for just a+
/little/ bit of his attention.
His third glass of wine is finished, but he doesn’t reach for a refill. Instead, he pushes the glass away and fixes Dazai with his poutiest look. “I /told/ you I could be good.”
Dazai washes his hands quickly again— something that Chuuya is +
His third glass of wine is finished, but he doesn’t reach for a refill. Instead, he pushes the glass away and fixes Dazai with his poutiest look. “I /told/ you I could be good.”
Dazai washes his hands quickly again— something that Chuuya is +
grateful for, because he definitely does not want stir fry sauce on any part of him— before coming back over to him.
He places his hands on either side of Chuuya, caging him in. His eyes are dark, intense, staring straight into his soul and setting it on fire as he says, low, +
He places his hands on either side of Chuuya, caging him in. His eyes are dark, intense, staring straight into his soul and setting it on fire as he says, low, +
“You certainly did, didn’t you?”
The air feels thin between them, like the atmosphere on top of a mountain, drawing Chuuya’s lungs tight with anticipation. Every second that they spend staring at eachother just makes the tension tighter, hotter.
Caramel eyes drop to his lips,+
The air feels thin between them, like the atmosphere on top of a mountain, drawing Chuuya’s lungs tight with anticipation. Every second that they spend staring at eachother just makes the tension tighter, hotter.
Caramel eyes drop to his lips,+
flashing brightly before Dazai is whispering across the distance:
“Can I kiss you?”
The first time he asked made Chuuya feel put on the spot, but /this/ time, it’s like gasoline onto a flame, igniting something within him.
He nods, hands reaching—
Dazai meets him halfway. +
“Can I kiss you?”
The first time he asked made Chuuya feel put on the spot, but /this/ time, it’s like gasoline onto a flame, igniting something within him.
He nods, hands reaching—
Dazai meets him halfway. +
It seems he's decided to take a /little/ mercy on Chuuya, because he doesn't make him say it out loud, or tease him with tiny butterfly kisses before kissing him properly.
No, one of his hands is finding the back of his neck, encouraging him to tip his head back so Dazai can+
No, one of his hands is finding the back of his neck, encouraging him to tip his head back so Dazai can+
deepen the kiss instantly, the tip of his tongue sliding over his lower lip in a silent request for access. His /other/ hand finds Chuuya's thigh, sliding up slowly in a brush of teasing friction, hot tingly sensation.
It makes Chuuya gasp, winding his arms around Dazai's neck+
It makes Chuuya gasp, winding his arms around Dazai's neck+
to hold on tightly, dragging him closer.
The hand stops about halfway up, not venturing higher, but just the weight and presence of it has Chuuya hyperaware, every brush of his fingers and slick slide of his tongue electric. He arches against him, instinctively wanting to get+
The hand stops about halfway up, not venturing higher, but just the weight and presence of it has Chuuya hyperaware, every brush of his fingers and slick slide of his tongue electric. He arches against him, instinctively wanting to get+
closer, as close as he can get.
Dazai seems to be along the same mindset,because he's letting go of his neck to grab his other leg,tugging him closer, until their chests are pressed together.
Then, with a whispered "hold on" against his mouth, Dazai's lifting him /up/ again,+
Dazai seems to be along the same mindset,because he's letting go of his neck to grab his other leg,tugging him closer, until their chests are pressed together.
Then, with a whispered "hold on" against his mouth, Dazai's lifting him /up/ again,+
legs wrapped around his waist.
The pressure it puts against his hips makes Chuuya shudder, urgency stirring,his hands fisting in Dazai's hair. He's been picked up before, not very often because he's heavier than he looks with all the muscle--Shuuji tried once and almost dropped+
The pressure it puts against his hips makes Chuuya shudder, urgency stirring,his hands fisting in Dazai's hair. He's been picked up before, not very often because he's heavier than he looks with all the muscle--Shuuji tried once and almost dropped+
him on his head-- and he doesn't /usually/ like it, but the effortless, confident way Dazai hoists him up and keeps him aloft without so much as a stumble, making his way out of the kitchen without the kiss pausing once...
It makes the blood in his veins turn hotter, thicker,+
It makes the blood in his veins turn hotter, thicker,+
rushing through his veins.
He's not even sure where they're going--though some distant part of him is chanting about Dazai's bedroom-- because he's too busy filling his hands with dark hair, scraping his teeth over his tongue until Dazai releases a low rumble that Chuuya feels+
He's not even sure where they're going--though some distant part of him is chanting about Dazai's bedroom-- because he's too busy filling his hands with dark hair, scraping his teeth over his tongue until Dazai releases a low rumble that Chuuya feels+
in his stomach.
Turning around, Dazai lowers them both, and Chuuya hangs on for dear life, instinctively trusting that he won't let him fall, as long as he doesn't let go.
Instead, they tumble backwards onto the couch, and now Chuuya is straddling Dazai's lap and discovering+
Turning around, Dazai lowers them both, and Chuuya hangs on for dear life, instinctively trusting that he won't let him fall, as long as he doesn't let go.
Instead, they tumble backwards onto the couch, and now Chuuya is straddling Dazai's lap and discovering+
that this is a /very/ different way of kissing.
For one, he's never been taller than Dazai, so feeling the strain in his neck as he tips his head back to meet him, jaw working in rhythmic ways, is surprisingly hot. Chuuya bears down over him, and now he's in charge of how hard+
For one, he's never been taller than Dazai, so feeling the strain in his neck as he tips his head back to meet him, jaw working in rhythmic ways, is surprisingly hot. Chuuya bears down over him, and now he's in charge of how hard+
the kiss is, crushing their lips together in his ever-searching need for /more/.
Secondly, now his weight is centered over him, pressing them closer than ever before. So close he can feel the rise and fall of Dazai's chest as their breathing starts to speed up, the shift of his+
Secondly, now his weight is centered over him, pressing them closer than ever before. So close he can feel the rise and fall of Dazai's chest as their breathing starts to speed up, the shift of his+
muscles beneath him as he adjusts their positions slightly.
Of course, the unitended--or perhaps intended--consequence is that Chuuya is sitting /directly/ on Dazai's bulge,and he can feel the heat and firmness growing there even through his pants, making him pant.
And best of+
Of course, the unitended--or perhaps intended--consequence is that Chuuya is sitting /directly/ on Dazai's bulge,and he can feel the heat and firmness growing there even through his pants, making him pant.
And best of+
all--
It frees up Dazai's hands to /wander/.
They find his thighs first, fingers long enough to wrap nearly halfway around. Chuuya tenses instinctively, the hitch of his breath obvious as his focus zeroes in on the way Dazai subtly squeezes and massages the muscle there in +
It frees up Dazai's hands to /wander/.
They find his thighs first, fingers long enough to wrap nearly halfway around. Chuuya tenses instinctively, the hitch of his breath obvious as his focus zeroes in on the way Dazai subtly squeezes and massages the muscle there in +
small waves, the same rhythm he's still kissing him with.
Eventually his hands slide /up/,and god, Chuuya feels like his entire world stalls as fingers get closer, closer, /closer/ to his crotch--
The urgency had built so slowly, so subtly, that he's just now realizing that he+
Eventually his hands slide /up/,and god, Chuuya feels like his entire world stalls as fingers get closer, closer, /closer/ to his crotch--
The urgency had built so slowly, so subtly, that he's just now realizing that he+
is hard in his pants, aching, strung tight after /weeks/ of teasing from Dazai's skillful hands.
He swears, if Dazai stops them /now/, he's actually going to break down in frustrated tears.
Dazai's hands bypass touching him directly, though Chuuya would be surprised if he +
He swears, if Dazai stops them /now/, he's actually going to break down in frustrated tears.
Dazai's hands bypass touching him directly, though Chuuya would be surprised if he +
can't feel him throbbing against his stomach. His hands coast over his hips instead, around his sides, fingertips sliding against the sensitive, exposed skin of his lower back.
Dazai's mouth slides away, and Chuuya is whining immediately, not wanting him to /go/, but he's just+
Dazai's mouth slides away, and Chuuya is whining immediately, not wanting him to /go/, but he's just+
kissing a line over his cheek,down his jaw, finding the beginnings of his neck.
Chuuya never realized how /sensitive/ his neck was before, but every touch of Dazai's lips over his skin feels like it goes directly to his cock, joining the swirling, molten tension in his stomach.+
Chuuya never realized how /sensitive/ his neck was before, but every touch of Dazai's lips over his skin feels like it goes directly to his cock, joining the swirling, molten tension in his stomach.+
"I have to say," Dazai hums against his skin, the vibrations and the husky, rough tone of his voice making Chuuya's mind go /blank/."I do like seeing you in my shirts."
His fingertips creep up, palms sliding over his lower back, warm and pulling him somehow even closer.
Chuuya+
His fingertips creep up, palms sliding over his lower back, warm and pulling him somehow even closer.
Chuuya+
squirms, overwhelmed and starving for more in equal measures, unsure if he wants more of Dazai against his front, or along his back, or his mouth on his neck or kissing him again--
"So pretty, so /tempting/," Dazai murmurs, almost to himself, before scraping his teeth over his+
"So pretty, so /tempting/," Dazai murmurs, almost to himself, before scraping his teeth over his+
pulse point, and the combination of the vibration, the /words/, the hands sliding even further under his shirt--
Chuuya can't help it; he /moans/, soft and hesitant, rolling his hips forward in an instinctive bid for friction. He doesn't even have the presence of mind to be +
Chuuya can't help it; he /moans/, soft and hesitant, rolling his hips forward in an instinctive bid for friction. He doesn't even have the presence of mind to be +
embarrassed about it, because holy /shit/, the double friction of him grinding against Dazai's stomach and then /back/ against the bulge beneath him, feeling the /thick/ outline of Dazai's erection against his ass is /so/ good, he can't help but do it again, a little /harder/.+
"Yeah?" Dazai breathes hotly against his neck, coasting down a little lower,finding a spot that makes Chuuya's toes curl and his eyes roll back in his head and /sucking/ on it. "Do you /like/ it when I talk to you?"
This time, when Chuuya grinds forward, his hands press down at+
This time, when Chuuya grinds forward, his hands press down at+
the same time, increasing the pressure.
"What about if I told you how good you're being right now? How /hot/ it is that you're grinding against me like this, so desperate?"
His face is so hot it must be on fire, and no matter how hard he pants, he can never seem to get enough+
"What about if I told you how good you're being right now? How /hot/ it is that you're grinding against me like this, so desperate?"
His face is so hot it must be on fire, and no matter how hard he pants, he can never seem to get enough+
air. His thoughts have devolved into static, a background noise that means nothing compared to the /hunger/ growing in him, the desire for /more/, harder, /better/.
"The things I could do to you," Dazai muses, nibbling on his collarbone. The other spots he's visited on his neck+
"The things I could do to you," Dazai muses, nibbling on his collarbone. The other spots he's visited on his neck+
throb in time, adding to the growing symphony of sensations in Chuuya's body.
(Should Dazai be leaving him a virtual choker of red marks on Chuuya's neck without asking? Probably not.
But his /is/ just a man, and he's /struggling/ to keep it together, and as long as it doesn't+
(Should Dazai be leaving him a virtual choker of red marks on Chuuya's neck without asking? Probably not.
But his /is/ just a man, and he's /struggling/ to keep it together, and as long as it doesn't+
escalate past /this/— letting Chuuya grind against him with increasingly loud, desperate noises of pleasure— he will consider it a win.
He knows Chuuya would /probably/ let him turn him over and take him apart with his /teeth/, coax all sorts of pretty noises from him as he+
He knows Chuuya would /probably/ let him turn him over and take him apart with his /teeth/, coax all sorts of pretty noises from him as he+
shows him what it’s like to /really/ feel good—
But as much as he /wants/ that— needs it, almost, the pressure of his zipper against his erection growing painful— he knows the /right/ thing to do is to build Chuuya up, slowly, and not overwhelm him all at once.
It’s a good +
But as much as he /wants/ that— needs it, almost, the pressure of his zipper against his erection growing painful— he knows the /right/ thing to do is to build Chuuya up, slowly, and not overwhelm him all at once.
It’s a good +
thing Dazai moved onto marking up his collarbone, because hearing his sweet moans is hard enough, but /tasting/ them would be altogether too much.)
“I could make it /so/ good for you, baby,” he murmurs, sinking his teeth into his collarbone with almost painful intensity, but+
“I could make it /so/ good for you, baby,” he murmurs, sinking his teeth into his collarbone with almost painful intensity, but+
at this point, he could probably draw blood and Chuuya would still moan for him.
Nodding frantically, Chuuya digs his nails into his scalp, holding him as close as he can as he gives another stuttered thrust, pressure building almost too fast for him to keep up with.
He’s not+
Nodding frantically, Chuuya digs his nails into his scalp, holding him as close as he can as he gives another stuttered thrust, pressure building almost too fast for him to keep up with.
He’s not+
even aware of the words that start to pour out of his mouth, too mindless, too far gone—
And they are /almost/ Dazai’s undoing.
“Please, Dazai, fuck— /so/ good, please touch me, I want more, /need/ more, need /you/, please, I promise I’ll be /so/ good for you—.” +
And they are /almost/ Dazai’s undoing.
“Please, Dazai, fuck— /so/ good, please touch me, I want more, /need/ more, need /you/, please, I promise I’ll be /so/ good for you—.” +
With a frustrated, wanting snarl, teeth sink into him so harshly that Chuuya is automatically crying out in loud reaction, jerking. There’s nowhere to go though, because the arms around him are tightening, nails digging in sharply, pinning him in place and dragging him down as+
Dazai’s hips roll /up/, a slow, skilled movement that just illustrates how much control he has over his body—
“Fuck,” Dazai mutters against his skin, his strained tone and the curse making Chuuya shudder again, legs tightening around his hips.
Frantically, he nods again, +
“Fuck,” Dazai mutters against his skin, his strained tone and the curse making Chuuya shudder again, legs tightening around his hips.
Frantically, he nods again, +
meeting the next grind of Dazai’s hips with a messy, uncoordinated thrust over his own. “Yes, /please/.”
With a strength of will that Chuuya can practically feel, Dazai forces himself to still, letting go of his bite with a low groan.
“No,” he mutters, and Chuuya is +
With a strength of will that Chuuya can practically feel, Dazai forces himself to still, letting go of his bite with a low groan.
“No,” he mutters, and Chuuya is +
so frustrated he actually /snarls/, so tempted to bite Dazai in sheer irritation.
Dazai laughs fondly, albeit strained, against his chest, hands sliding back down to find his hips. “You’ll get it, baby, I /promise/,” he croons, helping Chuuya find a faster, harder rhythm.+
Dazai laughs fondly, albeit strained, against his chest, hands sliding back down to find his hips. “You’ll get it, baby, I /promise/,” he croons, helping Chuuya find a faster, harder rhythm.+
“Soon. But for now— I want you to cum for me, just like this.”
/God/, okay, yes, /yes/.
All things considered, Chuuya thinks he’s done /pretty/ well keeping himself controlled, with the way Dazai has been whispering to him and urging him on.
But he can’t deny that the +
/God/, okay, yes, /yes/.
All things considered, Chuuya thinks he’s done /pretty/ well keeping himself controlled, with the way Dazai has been whispering to him and urging him on.
But he can’t deny that the +
tension has been slowly building, winding tighter, threatening to snap with every burst of pleasure on the grind forwards, the shape of Dazai beneath him on the grind /back/, intoxicatingly good.
The pleasure is good, it’s /great/—
But the end is steadily drawing near.+
The pleasure is good, it’s /great/—
But the end is steadily drawing near.+
And the fact that Dazai is actively helping him now— hands on his hips to drag him harder into each grind, the encouraging murmurs on his neck and in his ear, the knowledge that Dazai wants him to be just like this, rocking desperately in his lap— only makes it /better.+
The pleasure builds, searing, scorching,electric,making him tremble and whimper as he fights for more,harder,a little faster, /so/ close, almost there—
Dazai drags him forward one last time, hips pressing up just /slightly/—
And the pressure is enough to tip him over the edge.+
Dazai drags him forward one last time, hips pressing up just /slightly/—
And the pressure is enough to tip him over the edge.+
The orgasm roars over him, way more intense than any he’s ever given himself. He’s mindless with it, helpless to do anything but ride it out with a series of shudders, arching and jerking in place. He’s pretty sure he’s crying out Dazai’s name, eyes squeezed shut as he fights to+
/survive/ the intensity.
By the time he’s done working himself through it, he feels limp and exhausted, panting heavily. He sags in Dazai’s arms, shivering with the comedown—
And Dazai is /right/ there, arms enclosing around his back as he nuzzles the side of his face,+
By the time he’s done working himself through it, he feels limp and exhausted, panting heavily. He sags in Dazai’s arms, shivering with the comedown—
And Dazai is /right/ there, arms enclosing around his back as he nuzzles the side of his face,+
whispering soft kisses over his flushed cheek. “/There/ you are, pretty baby. You did so well for me.”
Chuuya shivers, leaning into his hold. He’s still getting his breath back, and all his muscles feel melted. It’s not /bad/, of course, but somehow the intensity has left him+
Chuuya shivers, leaning into his hold. He’s still getting his breath back, and all his muscles feel melted. It’s not /bad/, of course, but somehow the intensity has left him+
cracked open like an egg, with all his vulnerable insides exposed.
The arms around him help keep him together though,and the kisses pressed along his cheek makes him feel warm, and the teasing way Dazai gently tugs on his earring with his teeth makes him smile gently.
It feels+
The arms around him help keep him together though,and the kisses pressed along his cheek makes him feel warm, and the teasing way Dazai gently tugs on his earring with his teeth makes him smile gently.
It feels+
nice. He’d probably be fine if Dazai pushed him off, now that it’s over, but he can’t deny that sitting here and soaking up the affection doesn’t feel /fantastic/.
Especially as Dazai tells him how good he was, how beautiful he is, /perfect/, his hands like warm weights under +
Especially as Dazai tells him how good he was, how beautiful he is, /perfect/, his hands like warm weights under +
his shirt.
It’s not until he shifts his weight, knees beginning to ache, that he /realizes/—
Dazai is still hard.
It makes sense, because he’s older, more experienced, and therefore much less likely to come in his pants like an inexperienced teenager—the thought of which is+
It’s not until he shifts his weight, knees beginning to ache, that he /realizes/—
Dazai is still hard.
It makes sense, because he’s older, more experienced, and therefore much less likely to come in his pants like an inexperienced teenager—the thought of which is+
starting to make him embarrassed now, even though Dazai explicitly asked him to and then /helped/ him along—but it’s still awkward.
His sex education is /limited/ admittedly—his dad gingerly taught him how to put a condom on a banana and then promptly said that if Chuuya /ever/+
His sex education is /limited/ admittedly—his dad gingerly taught him how to put a condom on a banana and then promptly said that if Chuuya /ever/+
had at all, including watching any pornographic material, he’d be grounded for the rest of forever— but he’s not /so/ uneducated that he doesn’t know that /both/ people are supposed to orgasm.
And that one person orgasming while the other doesn’t means you /failed/.
Feeling+
And that one person orgasming while the other doesn’t means you /failed/.
Feeling+
guilty, he swallows hard. “Do you want me to, ah...” he trails off, unsure of what he’s supposed to offer and eventually lands on a lame, “help you?”
He wiggles his hips for emphasis, and he does /not/ miss the sharp inhale against his cheek, something that makes warmth stir+
He wiggles his hips for emphasis, and he does /not/ miss the sharp inhale against his cheek, something that makes warmth stir+
in his stomach, despite the fact that he /just/ came.
Large hands bracket his waist, and Chuuya does not often feel delicate or /small/, but it’s so easy for him to feel held entirely by Dazai, his very soul cradled in long, capable fingers.
“No,” Dazai murmurs, pulling back+
Large hands bracket his waist, and Chuuya does not often feel delicate or /small/, but it’s so easy for him to feel held entirely by Dazai, his very soul cradled in long, capable fingers.
“No,” Dazai murmurs, pulling back+
and for the first time since they started kissing, Chuuya gets a good look at his face. He’s flushed red with excitement, his once-slicked-back hair wild from where Chuuya had his fingers in it, his pupils huge and dark and focused.
His lips are slightly swollen, dark red from+
His lips are slightly swollen, dark red from+
abuse.
Chuuya wants to kiss him again.
Dazai seems to be thinking along the same lines, because he’s smiling softly as him, lopsided, “but I do want you to kiss me again.”
Chuuya blinks. “But you didn’t...”
Another stroke of his fingers along his spine soothes the +
Chuuya wants to kiss him again.
Dazai seems to be thinking along the same lines, because he’s smiling softly as him, lopsided, “but I do want you to kiss me again.”
Chuuya blinks. “But you didn’t...”
Another stroke of his fingers along his spine soothes the +
mild anxiety strumming along his nerves. “I know,” Dazai hums, brushing his noses lightly over his cheek, “but this was all about you. I wanted /you/ to feel good. I can wait.”
Chuuya is torn about that because on /one/ hand he doesn’t want to leave Dazai hanging, but on the +
Chuuya is torn about that because on /one/ hand he doesn’t want to leave Dazai hanging, but on the +
/other/ hand, he is admittedly nervous about doing something about it. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s just—
What if he’s /bad/? Dazai probably doesn’t have high standards, now that he knows he’s a virgin, but what if he fails even /those/?
(Chuuya is not unaware of +
What if he’s /bad/? Dazai probably doesn’t have high standards, now that he knows he’s a virgin, but what if he fails even /those/?
(Chuuya is not unaware of +
the time Shuuji came in /his/ pants after 10 minutes of grinding, and while this situation might be /different/—
He can’t help but draw similarities between them, and he remembers how /disappointing/ that felt.)
“Don’t worry though,” Dazai says, leaning forward to press a +
He can’t help but draw similarities between them, and he remembers how /disappointing/ that felt.)
“Don’t worry though,” Dazai says, leaning forward to press a +
wicked smile against his cheek, /not/ kissing him because Chuuya hasn’t agreed to his most recent ask, “I’ll let you get your hands all over me, next time.”
Just the promise of next time makes relief bubble up in his chest, coaxing his muscles back into relaxation. Dazai has+
Just the promise of next time makes relief bubble up in his chest, coaxing his muscles back into relaxation. Dazai has+
never lied to him before, that he knows of, and he’s always made good on every single promise that he’s made.
If Dazai says there will be a next time; there’ll be a next time.
(Of course, part of Chuuya wants to say ‘give me 15 minutes and next time can be upstairs tonight—‘+
If Dazai says there will be a next time; there’ll be a next time.
(Of course, part of Chuuya wants to say ‘give me 15 minutes and next time can be upstairs tonight—‘+
but he ignores it, for the most part.)
He /does/, however, turn his head to capture Dazai in a kiss, internally preening at the way his smile widens, softens, before dissolving into a gentle kiss.
This kiss is probably the softest one yet today, besides the one on his +
He /does/, however, turn his head to capture Dazai in a kiss, internally preening at the way his smile widens, softens, before dissolving into a gentle kiss.
This kiss is probably the softest one yet today, besides the one on his +
forehead earlier, and somehow it’s even better, filling Chuuya up with a glowing sense of warmth and satisfaction.
They sit there for long enough that Dazai’s erection begins to die and eventually the cooling mess in his underwear makes him squirm uncomfortably.
When he+
They sit there for long enough that Dazai’s erection begins to die and eventually the cooling mess in his underwear makes him squirm uncomfortably.
When he+
notices, Dazai is pulling away from the kiss. Slowly, diving back in for another few long moments, before letting them separate.
“Come on,” he mutters, hands once again finding Chuuya’s thighs, “let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”
Yeah, that sounds good. He nods, expecting to+
“Come on,” he mutters, hands once again finding Chuuya’s thighs, “let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”
Yeah, that sounds good. He nods, expecting to+
be let go or pushed off so he can awkwardly hobble his way to the bathroom, but that's not what happens.
Instead, he feels the roll of Dazai's abs as he sits up, holding them both steady as he leans forward and stands up in one smooth, powerful motion. His hands support his +
Instead, he feels the roll of Dazai's abs as he sits up, holding them both steady as he leans forward and stands up in one smooth, powerful motion. His hands support his +
weight with a firm on his legs, and Chuuya helps him out instinctively by tightening his thighs and wrapping his arms around his neck tightly.
"You don't have to carry me,"he grumbles, even though being carried /is/ nice admittedly, makes him feel small and light and treasured,+
"You don't have to carry me,"he grumbles, even though being carried /is/ nice admittedly, makes him feel small and light and treasured,+
"I can walk."
"I'm sure you can,"Dazai agrees easily, though he continues making his way towards the stairs without making a single move to put him down.
Chuuya's knee's feel too wobbly to actually argue too much, so he just lets out a little huff--more for show than anything+
"I'm sure you can,"Dazai agrees easily, though he continues making his way towards the stairs without making a single move to put him down.
Chuuya's knee's feel too wobbly to actually argue too much, so he just lets out a little huff--more for show than anything+
else-- as he hooks his chin over Dazai's shoulder.
The stairs make him a /little/ nervous but they make it up without incident, and Dazai manages to open his office and bedroom door without jostling him too much. He heads to his bathroom, pushing the door open with his hip.
+
The stairs make him a /little/ nervous but they make it up without incident, and Dazai manages to open his office and bedroom door without jostling him too much. He heads to his bathroom, pushing the door open with his hip.
+
With a surprising amount of gentleness, Dazai is setting him down on the sink counter, making sure he's stable before he pulls back entirely. He steps back out of the circle of Chuuya's legs, and he barely manages to stifle the disappointed noise when the heat of him moves away.+
"I'll get you some new pants," Dazai says before disappearing through the doorway again. He's gone for only a few moments when he's coming back in with a pair of folded sweatpants in his hand.
He sets it on the counter next to him, shrugging. "Sorry, I don't think I have any +
He sets it on the counter next to him, shrugging. "Sorry, I don't think I have any +
underwear that fits you, but I can put your clothes in the wash for you."
That's probably a good idea, Chuuya muses, because his underwear is probably ruined and he came so much that even his jeans are wet with it. Embarrassing, but he's working through it.
He just hopes he+
That's probably a good idea, Chuuya muses, because his underwear is probably ruined and he came so much that even his jeans are wet with it. Embarrassing, but he's working through it.
He just hopes he+
didn't ruin his pants entirely, because he only has 3 pairs, and he can't afford a replacement after he bought these earrings.
It was a good investment though, internally preening at the way Dazai called them pretty, called /him/ pretty, how much he liked his outfit today. +
It was a good investment though, internally preening at the way Dazai called them pretty, called /him/ pretty, how much he liked his outfit today. +
He hesitates before stripping his pants, inexplicably nervous. When he was turned on, he was /all/ about Dazai getting his hands on him, and he didn't feel a speck of nervousness or anxiety regarding his body.
But now he's thinking, maybe the first time Dazai sees him in any+
But now he's thinking, maybe the first time Dazai sees him in any+
sort of undress shouldn’t be when he’s soft and messy?
(Dazai would actually /love/ that, would love to see the mess he made out of Chuuya, but he sees the way he’s hesitating and so he gives him an easy out.)
“I’ll go get some water,” Dazai tells him before disappearing +
(Dazai would actually /love/ that, would love to see the mess he made out of Chuuya, but he sees the way he’s hesitating and so he gives him an easy out.)
“I’ll go get some water,” Dazai tells him before disappearing +
again.
Chuuya takes the time he’s away to struggle out of his jeans, making a face at the way the wet spot slides over his skin. His underwear is even worse, but he manages it without making the mess worse.
Wads of toilet paper clean him up well enough. He would probably +
Chuuya takes the time he’s away to struggle out of his jeans, making a face at the way the wet spot slides over his skin. His underwear is even worse, but he manages it without making the mess worse.
Wads of toilet paper clean him up well enough. He would probably +
benefit from a shower, with how sweaty he got, but after that... /workout/ and the stress of school, and the fact that he /barely/ slept at all last night due to excitement, he’s crashing hard.
The sweatpants feel like heaven on his legs, soft and comforting. Again, he has to+
The sweatpants feel like heaven on his legs, soft and comforting. Again, he has to+
roll the legs up, but it’s practically routine at this point. He takes a moment to loosen the shirt too, because the tie in the back was digging into his back awkwardly.
When he walks out of the bathroom, leaving his dirty clothes in the sink— he did take a moment to wash off+
When he walks out of the bathroom, leaving his dirty clothes in the sink— he did take a moment to wash off+
the worst stains— his legs are still trembling.
Dazai is nowhere to be seen though, and Chuuya /should/ go looking for him, but he’s so tired and the bed looks so inviting...
He did say he would be back, so it’s probably best if Chuuya waits up here, right? And while he+
Dazai is nowhere to be seen though, and Chuuya /should/ go looking for him, but he’s so tired and the bed looks so inviting...
He did say he would be back, so it’s probably best if Chuuya waits up here, right? And while he+
waits, he can just relax on that huge, criminally soft bed, one that’s so much warmer and more comfortable than his bed at the dorms. He remembers waking up in it the first time, and it felt /so/ nice, like sleeping on a cloud.
Yeah, that sounds good.
He lets himself crawl +
Yeah, that sounds good.
He lets himself crawl +
onto the bed, flopping down in the middle—not on a pillow or under the blanket, because he’s not going to /sleep/, he’s just resting.
The comforter smells like Dazai, something warm and musky, comfortingly alive. Body heat and clean sheets, and the smell of someone you like +
The comforter smells like Dazai, something warm and musky, comfortingly alive. Body heat and clean sheets, and the smell of someone you like +
/very/ much.
Turning his head with a small smile, he presses his face into the blankets and lets himself close his eyes.
Just for a moment. Just until Dazai gets back.
(Naturally, Dazai returns 20 minutes later—he took his time, in case the chibi wanted the privacy to +
Turning his head with a small smile, he presses his face into the blankets and lets himself close his eyes.
Just for a moment. Just until Dazai gets back.
(Naturally, Dazai returns 20 minutes later—he took his time, in case the chibi wanted the privacy to +
shower— to find...
Chuuya curled up in the middle of his bed, passed out.
He hesitates, a little unsure of what to do. Neither of them /planned/ for him to stay the night, or even discussed it, so he should probably wake him up so he can take Chuuya home.
Part of him is +
Chuuya curled up in the middle of his bed, passed out.
He hesitates, a little unsure of what to do. Neither of them /planned/ for him to stay the night, or even discussed it, so he should probably wake him up so he can take Chuuya home.
Part of him is +
a /little/ disappointed, because he did want to spend more time with him but—
He noticed the dark circles under his eyes earlier, the subtle yawns he tried to hide behind his hand. Dazai himself never went to college but he knows people who did and he remembers how much finals+
He noticed the dark circles under his eyes earlier, the subtle yawns he tried to hide behind his hand. Dazai himself never went to college but he knows people who did and he remembers how much finals+
took out of them. They looked dead on their feet by the time it was over.
Besides—
He doesn’t have clean clothes anymore, does he? Not that Dazai minds letting him keep his sweats, but he probably wouldn’t enjoy doing the walk of shame back to his dorm in too-big clothing. +
Besides—
He doesn’t have clean clothes anymore, does he? Not that Dazai minds letting him keep his sweats, but he probably wouldn’t enjoy doing the walk of shame back to his dorm in too-big clothing. +
So he can afford to let the little angel sleep for an hour or two while his clothes wash. He doesn’t have the heart to disturb that peaceful expression on his face.
He /does/ however, move him to a comfortable position on the bed. It takes some time and maneuvering to get him+
He /does/ however, move him to a comfortable position on the bed. It takes some time and maneuvering to get him+
up with his head on a pillow and actually covered under the blankets, but it’s worth it to see the way he curls up with a content sigh, hand pushing under the pillow.
Taking the dirty clothes from the bathroom, he puts them in the wash before he feeds the dogs their dinner.+
Taking the dirty clothes from the bathroom, he puts them in the wash before he feeds the dogs their dinner.+
Yoko, for once, is actually first to finish eating and follows him closely back upstairs. She follows him back into the bedroom to check on Chuuya, sitting at the edge of the bed and looking expectantly from him to the bed, tail swishing.
Dazai is discovering that he is /very/+
Dazai is discovering that he is /very/+
weak.
“Fine, you little opportunist,” he mutters lowly, unwilling to wake him up, “get up there then.”
With all the smug satisfaction of someone getting exactly what they wanted, she does. She curls up in front of Chuuya, their heads nearly level.
Another quick trip +
“Fine, you little opportunist,” he mutters lowly, unwilling to wake him up, “get up there then.”
With all the smug satisfaction of someone getting exactly what they wanted, she does. She curls up in front of Chuuya, their heads nearly level.
Another quick trip +
downstairs to check if his jeans need to be washed again—they do, he was wearing /black/ underwear, so the white stains are /pretty/ noticeable.
And then Dazai realizes he has nothing left to occupy his time with, besides something inane like watching a movie or a show.+
And then Dazai realizes he has nothing left to occupy his time with, besides something inane like watching a movie or a show.+
And, well—
He’s tired too, his insomnia has been acting up all week, and while he /could/ take a nap on the couch while he waits, Chuuya looked /so/ warm and inviting, curled up in his bed.
And now they’re... involved, so it wouldn’t be crossing the line, provided Dazai keeps+
He’s tired too, his insomnia has been acting up all week, and while he /could/ take a nap on the couch while he waits, Chuuya looked /so/ warm and inviting, curled up in his bed.
And now they’re... involved, so it wouldn’t be crossing the line, provided Dazai keeps+
his hands to himself.
Besides, it’s /his/ bed, his dog, his—
...Chuuya. His Chuuya?
His /what/ exactly, Dazai doesn’t know yet, but that’s all the logic he needs to convince himself that a /little/ nap would be fine.
He slips into sweatpants too, because he hates outside+
Besides, it’s /his/ bed, his dog, his—
...Chuuya. His Chuuya?
His /what/ exactly, Dazai doesn’t know yet, but that’s all the logic he needs to convince himself that a /little/ nap would be fine.
He slips into sweatpants too, because he hates outside+
clothing in his bed, and slowly, ever-so-carefully, lifts up the comforter and slides inside.
It’s warm underneath, blissfully comforting and it’s like a drug, filling him with an immediate sense of warm, heavy sleepiness.
He barely even thinks before reaching out, sliding his+
It’s warm underneath, blissfully comforting and it’s like a drug, filling him with an immediate sense of warm, heavy sleepiness.
He barely even thinks before reaching out, sliding his+
arm around his wait and carefully pulling him back, fitting his body around the curve of Chuuya’s, basking in the heat.
It’s the easiest Dazai has ever fallen asleep before, not having to struggle or fight for it at all.
So easy, in fact, that he forgets to set an alarm.)
—+
It’s the easiest Dazai has ever fallen asleep before, not having to struggle or fight for it at all.
So easy, in fact, that he forgets to set an alarm.)
—+
The first thing that registers is an all-encompassing warmth, heavy and drugging. It's all around him, dragged in with every breath, making its way through his body sluggishly, rendering him limp and content. It's like a warm weighted blanket, so comfortable that it's dragging +
him back into sleep.
When he tries to move,stretching out his legs, he discovers that that description is a little more accurate than he intitally thought.
There's a solid wall along his back, immovable with sleep. He can't tell exactly what it is,because it's resting over the+
When he tries to move,stretching out his legs, he discovers that that description is a little more accurate than he intitally thought.
There's a solid wall along his back, immovable with sleep. He can't tell exactly what it is,because it's resting over the+
blankets while he's underneath. Probably a dog, he realizes groggily, because of the loud breathing near his ear.
And all over his front, draped over his side, is a warm, breathing wall of heat.
Arms around him, under his head and the other locked over his shoulders, keeping+
And all over his front, draped over his side, is a warm, breathing wall of heat.
Arms around him, under his head and the other locked over his shoulders, keeping+
him in place. A moving chest pressed against his cheek. A leg thrown over his thigh, heavy and drawing his top leg forward into the embrace.
Dazai. Not only sleeping with him, but also cuddling the /shit/ out of him, intertwined so tightly that Chuuya can't tell where he ends+
Dazai. Not only sleeping with him, but also cuddling the /shit/ out of him, intertwined so tightly that Chuuya can't tell where he ends+
and Dazai begins.
One of his arms is trapped between their bodies, but the other is slung over Dazai's waist. It's somehow ended up /beneath/ his shirt, and the slow rise and fall of his breathing makes the muscles in his back press lightly against his palm.
There's breathing+
One of his arms is trapped between their bodies, but the other is slung over Dazai's waist. It's somehow ended up /beneath/ his shirt, and the slow rise and fall of his breathing makes the muscles in his back press lightly against his palm.
There's breathing+
overhead, ruffling his hair.
And as comfortable and /warm/ as it is, as much as he wants to stay and to fall back asleep--
His arm is numb. Like completely numb, actually dead.
He wiggles slowly, trying to get enough space so he can extract his arm without disturbing either+
And as comfortable and /warm/ as it is, as much as he wants to stay and to fall back asleep--
His arm is numb. Like completely numb, actually dead.
He wiggles slowly, trying to get enough space so he can extract his arm without disturbing either+
the dog behind him--Yoko, he's assuming-- or Dazai in front of him.
But as soon as he moves a little too quickly, there's a grumpy, sleepy noise above him, and the arms tighten back again, squishing him against Dazai's chest.
He smothers a smile there. Aw, he's /grumpy/ in the+
But as soon as he moves a little too quickly, there's a grumpy, sleepy noise above him, and the arms tighten back again, squishing him against Dazai's chest.
He smothers a smile there. Aw, he's /grumpy/ in the+
mornings.Surprisingly cute.
Though the weight of him is grounding,comforting, Chuuya /is/ on the verge of being crushed beneath him. Not that he has an exact problem with that, but his arm is so dead it aches, and it's starting to get painful.
He wiggles again, harder, pulling+
Though the weight of him is grounding,comforting, Chuuya /is/ on the verge of being crushed beneath him. Not that he has an exact problem with that, but his arm is so dead it aches, and it's starting to get painful.
He wiggles again, harder, pulling+
on his arm at the same time.
The reaction, this time, is Dazai shifting further on top of him with a croaked, "Noooo.... stop moving so much."
His voice is husky and rough with sleep, deeper than usual. It's almost felt more than heard, a vibrating rumble against Chuuya's +
The reaction, this time, is Dazai shifting further on top of him with a croaked, "Noooo.... stop moving so much."
His voice is husky and rough with sleep, deeper than usual. It's almost felt more than heard, a vibrating rumble against Chuuya's +
chest. It goes straight to his stomach, filling him with a growing sense of warmth and excitement.
He smiles again, because the grumpiness /is/ cute. "My arm is asleep."
"Mm..me too."
The next snore is just a little too exaggerated to be real though.
"My arm is going to +
He smiles again, because the grumpiness /is/ cute. "My arm is asleep."
"Mm..me too."
The next snore is just a little too exaggerated to be real though.
"My arm is going to +
/fall off/."
"Sounds like a personal problem."
"Oh my god," Chuuya laughs, banging his forehead lightly against his chest, "Get off me before I start biting you."
There's a long, /heavy/ silence as Dazai contemplates if it's /worth it/--
Then, with a sigh that sounds like +
"Sounds like a personal problem."
"Oh my god," Chuuya laughs, banging his forehead lightly against his chest, "Get off me before I start biting you."
There's a long, /heavy/ silence as Dazai contemplates if it's /worth it/--
Then, with a sigh that sounds like +
he's being subjected to the most cruel and unusual punishments, he's letting him go and rolling over onto his back. "Chibi is so mean to me," he mutters, though there's a smile in his voice.
Chuuya gapes at him. "I'm mean to you? Look what you did!" His arm is /so/ dead that he+
Chuuya gapes at him. "I'm mean to you? Look what you did!" His arm is /so/ dead that he+
actually has to grab it by the wrist with his /other/ hand so he can shake his limp hand at him. "You were the one cuddling me like I was trying to run away!"
Dazai gives a mock-offended gasp. "I'll have you know that /you/ were cuddling /me/."
(That's not strictly true, +
Dazai gives a mock-offended gasp. "I'll have you know that /you/ were cuddling /me/."
(That's not strictly true, +
because Dazai did reach out first. /However/,he does remember blearily waking up in the middle of the night with a tiny bed-hog squirming and pulling on him, making incoherent whining noises until Dazai pratically draped himself over top of him.
Not that he'll admit to cuddling+
Not that he'll admit to cuddling+
him first, because Chuuya's scandalized gasp is hilarious
He's probably blushing too, thought Dazai still hasn't opened his eyes to check.)
"I did not!"
"No?" Dazai rolls over again, on his side. His eyes are finally opening, revealing brown eyes that are still soft and hazy+
He's probably blushing too, thought Dazai still hasn't opened his eyes to check.)
"I did not!"
"No?" Dazai rolls over again, on his side. His eyes are finally opening, revealing brown eyes that are still soft and hazy+
with sleep. They're welcoming, drawing him in, alight with amusement. The sleep lines still on his face just make it /better/, leaving him with the image of soft, welcoming sleepiness.
Perhaps the most charming part about him, though, is the /bed-head/. It's absolutely crazy,+
Perhaps the most charming part about him, though, is the /bed-head/. It's absolutely crazy,+
strands sticking up wildly in every direction. Whatever product was in it earlier has seem to given up, because the curls have returned.
He looks soft, touchable, sleepy. Chuuya wants to kiss him again.
"My mistake then," Dazai continues, that adorable dimple making an +
He looks soft, touchable, sleepy. Chuuya wants to kiss him again.
"My mistake then," Dazai continues, that adorable dimple making an +
appearance with his growing smile.
Then it occurs to Chuuya: it has to be morning. No light makes it through the blackout curtains, but he feels so rested that it can't be anything but morning. The dark bags under Dazai's eyes have finally eased, which makes him feel satisfied+
Then it occurs to Chuuya: it has to be morning. No light makes it through the blackout curtains, but he feels so rested that it can't be anything but morning. The dark bags under Dazai's eyes have finally eased, which makes him feel satisfied+
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
