Adjacent to the heirlooms discussion (from the baby bootie Reddit aita question) it's worth noting I think that heirlooms can be a special hell to navigate for infertile people (like me).
Like. There's the hurt when you realize you won't be giving the thing to your kids because you won't be having kids. There's the hurt every time you see the thing after that. There's the hurt all over again when your family asks for it back and treats you like a dead-end.
There's also a thing where we gender heirlooms in ways that can hurt trans people. The pink baby booties. The hope chest and silverware. I have STORIES. Not all of them mine to tell.
Idk. I'm not saying heirlooms suck, but they carry a LOT of baggage with them and can hurt kids so much. I just want people to be careful and consider that the future you have planned for Junior may not be the future they'll have.

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More from @AnaMardoll

21 Nov
I'm always really uncomfortable when people try to use "oh, should straight actors not play gay roles??" as a gotcha in disability casting discussions.

Do I think a cis straight man could accurately portray my trans masc enby self? My marriage to trans man? No, I don't.
I'm aware that "gay roles should go to gay actors" means that closeted actors risk being outed (when they're cast for their Big Name and then fans demand an explanation for why the role didn't go to an out queer person), but-
A) Queer actors exist and deserve the work.

B) I genuinely just do not think any level of research could prepare a cis man to portray me. (Nor a cis woman, before you ask.)
Read 6 tweets
21 Nov
People are saying that the article has been edited, but the ending is the same?? They're going to drive to see his parents for Thanksgiving.

It being an outdoor meal and them staying in a hotel doesn't change the fact that he's still traveling for the holidays.
First: He's still perpetuating the false belief that taking his kids out of school for a week is a sufficient quarantine. It's not. Two weeks is the appropriate length.

Second: He still thinks testing negative means they don't have covid. It doesn't.
Third: 'Yes, we'll come into contact with minimum wage workers while we use gas stations, fast food places, and hotels, but not for LONG and anyway they aren't people who MATTER' is- do I have to explain why this is bad? Do I really?
Read 7 tweets
21 Nov
I'm not going to QT anyone in my mentions, but folks have got to get over the fantasy that Nazis will change and come over to the side of good because they learn a magical lesson about kindness. That doesn't happen.
I know it's a compelling fantasy that you'll hand a MAGA hat your dollar and he'll notice your Still-With-Her!! t-shirt and have an epiphany, but that's a fantasy that movie writers sold to you in order to make money.
Read 16 tweets
20 Nov
The NTs are making me tired today, sigh. "Was RAIN MAN a bad movie, then? What about FORREST GUMP, huh?" Yes, Virginia, they were bad movies and shouldn't have been cast with NT actors.
They so clearly think these ~classics~ are trump cards of how a non-disabled actor can portray a disabled character and the fact that they don't realize they AREN'T trump cards is telling of how much they interact with the disability community.
What my heart hurts the most for are all the autistic relatives of these abled people who are angrily insisting that the MUSIC trailer is good representation of their autistic relative.
Read 4 tweets
20 Nov
We made our 3-month appointment with PP today and they continue to be the best about us being trans. Everyone we talk to is super respectful and polite.
Also, surprisingly, the Emergency Dentist was super good about accepting Kissmate when his tooth shattered.
It helps that I'm there to take point, I've found. "Hi, I'm Ana and this is my HUSBAND, and HE'S very pleased to meet you except that he's in pain" leads to a quick little blink and then they're acclimated.
Read 4 tweets
20 Nov
*winces* My least favorite genre of Reddit posts is "partner has a kink and is trying to force me to participate against my will". Consent is important, people!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with discovering a kink late in life! The responsible thing is to talk to your partner and find ways for you to be satisfied that has their consent! Which is the opposite of what this guy is doing.
No, I do not believe in tumors that cause men to abuse their wives while they continue to act perfectly normal around people who could meaningfully retaliate against them (bosses, co-workers, family, friends).
Read 4 tweets

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