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20 Nov, 33 tweets, 6 min read
I hesitate to write the following thread, as it is a disgusting topic. But it's precisely on account of this disgust that one can achieve celibacy.

I'm talking here about the nature of ejaculation, and the pleasure one takes in it.

My previous thread was insufficient.
I regard it as one of the great philosophical triumphs of my life that I have phenomenologically understood what is happening during orgasm.

It has greatly diminished my desire to have sex, much less to watch it. A life of celibacy is perhaps the most liberating feat possible.
Something which has so impacted me personally should be shared, even if I find it embarrassing to discuss.

If enough people can be liberated (if only partially) from blind sexual desire, the current system will be in for a mighty shock.
I won't go into erections again, as this is tedious and besides the point. It will suffice for me to say just this:

It is an organ which, by its very nature, wants warmth and touch; it wants definite confirmation of its utility (this is also why humans wants cuddles and hugs).
Fast forward to the moment when an ejaculation seems immanent.

There is a sense of leakage against your body's will.

(It's constantly resisting leakage, in the same way you don't urinate yourself, and indeed why you don't divulge mental secrets. You want to remain closed.)
Your body is instinctively trying to hold in something which, in everyday life, is otherwise kept firmly in place. Pre-ejaculate fluid is a sign of things to come.

At the same time, you are mechanically compelled (by yourself or the other person) to continue unabated.
Let's imagine, for the sake of simplicity, is another person who is mechanically continuing this process.

You feel yourself becoming incontinent, but you still want the penis to receive further envelopment and motion.

There is a moment of realisation that you're not in control.
It is this precise moment when ejaculation begins. The strain of resisting incontinence comes to a sudden ends due to an overburden of the muscle involved.

You allow the reflex to happen, and you *accept* the result. There is a sense of guilt as you realise flesh has taken over.
But you have accepted this guilt, and you spitefully allow its course to go uninterrupted. You abandon control, and in this way you are very temporarily liberated from the heavy effort of staying true to your higher self.

This is the moment of pleasure. It is you *giving up*.
Now, this is a very universal phenomenon.

Giving up your secrets has the same sense of liberation. I assume gay people feel the same way when they divulge that they are gay. They are admitting something which has made them psychologically strained for a long time.
Pleasure is always the elimination of strain. It's a burden that has been lifted. There's nothing more to it than that.

I discussed this here:
In that thread, I explained that the pleasure of sex in general was a psychological one, due to the lifted burden of wishing you could be naked and convivial

That's not the purpose of this thread. Here, I am focusing on the moment of ejaculation, as *this* is the main addiction.
So far, you might err in favour of the view that incontinence is good, because it results in a feeling of liberation.

I want to correct this view by saying that it is a false liberation, because you have established servitude to flesh. You chase a certain material arrangement.
The person who sees incontinence as good will now say that the error is normal, natural and justified, and that *holding in* your desire is the result of taking yourself too seriously.

In other words, they surrender to entropic decay and degeneration.
They fail to realise a number of things.

Firstly, the liberation is fleeting. They have to become continent again for incontinence to become possible. That is to say, they need to return the strain if they want the corresponding release.

So it's no liberation at all!
Secondly, by regarding incontinence as the normal and natural state, they have to keep plunging further and further down.

I discuss this here:
They regard *release* as the purpose of life, and they can only stay true to that goal by falling further and further down.

In doing so, they become even more objectified as will-to-life, and they become ashamed of how far they have fallen.
Let's limit this to the case of ejaculation.

When you can actually perceive that it is just *accepted incontinence*, in a first-hand phenomenological way, the magic is gone. You realise that it's just incontinence.
Typically, the male derives greater satisfaction when the woman does all the work, because the acceptance is more wholesale. He likes to pretend he has no control in the situation, and thus shares no blame in the incontinence.
The woman knows this, and is spitefully reminding the male that he is just flesh, just will-to-life, and that his attempts to gloss over this in daily life are in vain.

If he accepts this, he has lost. And most men do indeed lose.

See also:
If the man can perceive the farce, he will lose his erection. If he can maintain this perspective in perpetuity, he will be a celibate who is liberated from social conventions and tied in with God instead.

He will take joy in being upright and free.
He will have no doubt, because he will know that moral failure is just a distraction from truth.

He will fear distraction, but he will never doubt the truth that hedonism is a destructive way of life.
Furthermore, if you perceive this with sufficient clarity, you will be disgusted by the sight of people who engage in the delusion.

You will think, "If only you could see things as I do, you would not do this."

It's not a syllogism. It's a direct perception of its wrongness.
There's also a certain spitefulness on the side of the male who's ejaculating. It's a slight aggression, like all people of guilty mind who indulge the will-to-life/flesh. They lash out with an exaggerated assault on ideals and beauty.

Certain fetishes relate to this.
In the moment of ejaculation, when there's nothing else you can do, one tends to lash out due to the feeling of limitation.

Like, "Gah! There's nothing else I can do except...blindly exert myself with loudness and clenching."

(Related thread on 'spite': )
Generally speaking, people take joy in helplessness, because it gives themselves an excuse to be spiteful and undermining.

It's a cheap kind of freedom, which is why people lie about the extent of their suffering and capacity for ethical action.
They like go indulge in their squalor and helplessness, as this allows them freedom of action without any need of ideation. They can say, "The material world makes only this path available to me."
By the way, this notion of "incontinence" works when we consider people who gossip and divulge their secrets.

When people admit their failings and flaws, they hope that other people will claim similar failings, and thus give justification to weakness and incontinence.
They then establish weakness and incontinence as inevitable, and feel temporarily freer.

However, this is limited, because their acceptance of weakness will make subsequent behaviour even weaker, and they will seek justification yet again for their further lapse.
The person who refuses to accept weakness will instead punish himself for weakness and ask for forgiveness from God alone.

He doesn't need or want other people to give justification to his failings. He accepts his freedom must be curtailed by his own weakness. He must suffer.
This makes him free and independent of the material world. He takes his instruction and his consolation from God alone.

He feels in good hands even in the most difficult situations, because he has obeyed God.

If you can phenomenologically align yourself with these insights, you will be far less tempted toward sin.

Celibacy and total subordination to God is the goal. Perhaps not everyone can do this, but they should aspire in this direction.
Perceive what is happening in the most ideationally complete way, and you will hear the voice of God.

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More from @tom_username_

21 Nov
Just think, for instance, of how the average person is mortified by the slightest harm done to a dog, but happily eats a burger from a tortured cow.

When you point out the hypocrisy, they lazily—often-times mockingly—gloss over it. They just want their slimy indulgence.
I'm not against eating meat that is properly sourced, but I've always been plagued by contradictions like these in my life.

The modern human is so disgustingly lazy when it comes to ethical output. They cannot for a moment interrupt their freedom of action.
Just think of how addicted the average person is to alcohol. They cannot let go of it for a single evening.

Look at the absolute rubbish they watch on TV. Much of it is borderline pornographic. They're perfectly fine with this objectification of life. Ethics is for schmucks.
Read 17 tweets
21 Nov
The basis for my saying this is two-fold.

a) The problem today isn't that the masses don't have enough bread and healthcare. The average person today behaviourally resembles an Oriental despot in their manner of consumption and attitude toward life. Punishment is required.
For the same reason Jesus said a rich person had a slim chance of getting into heaven, the average glutton today doesn't have much of a chance either.

Punishment requires temporal power, i.e. the state, in order to overcome all this. Temporal and spiritual must come together.
b) Even if this punishment is not forthcoming, the world would degenerate into such a low moral state that only the most radical (and even barbaric) moral reformer could prevail.

In any case, there is no soft-spoken route of this mess. A moral reformer must aspire to power.
Read 6 tweets
21 Nov
This is an important subject, so I'll expand on it.

Firstly, Christ was a philosopher: a genius. He also strikes me as the best recorded example of the Platonic Idea of a perfect human being.

I therefore lean towards Christianity, but I must be frank about my feelings on this.
On this subject, Schopenhauer has put into words what I have long felt.

Essentially, everything with material instantiation has an expiry date—which is why prophets must return time and time again, so to speak. Image
The Christian religion is essentially true, but it is in a "heterogeneous age". This means that the inspiring myths no longer have psychological force, which, like it or not, means people don't believe them.

If this means God's voice isn't heard, something is wrong.
Read 12 tweets
20 Nov
Taking pleasure in food is one of the more forgivable forms of degeneracy, but it is still something to be surmounted. (I'm being a hypocrite here)

All great spiritual leaders agree on this, which is why fasting and gastronomic modesty is an important component of all religions.
It tends to immobilise you, just like all worldly pleasures do (including women). In fact, it's no coincidence that women love to cook for a man they love. They want to see him stalled in his satisfaction, thus making him more dependent on her.
Because I am still a sugar addict, it doesn't yet fall to me to explain the essential nature of gastronomic pleasure.

If I understood it fully, I would not have such a sugar tooth. Still, I have made great strides in this area, so I'll offer some incomplete thoughts on this.
Read 30 tweets
20 Nov
The life review, when you're falling to your death, is phenomenologically similar to when you're reflecting on the stupidity of your youth.

You reflect on how totally governed you were by the desire to fit in the material world (i.e. the will-to-life), and this disgusts you.
When falling to your death, you realise "This entropic descent is not me; it is not who I am. I want no part in it anymore."

This is also what's happening when you reflect on your youth.

You're disgusted by what lies in store if you continue along that path, so you transcend it
Letting go necessarily entails falling back in judgement with regard to your life.

You let go of all your silly investments (because your memory consists only of your investments, aversions and outstanding debts, which is why adrenaline is a correlate of memory).
Read 6 tweets
20 Nov
Also contributing to a well-defined appearance is uniformity of surface.

Taut skin is attractive for this reason, and I also take this to be the reason why people have a fetish for rubber latex.

Wrinkled skin shows that no definite thing is prevailing. It's failing.
This is a general feature of objects.

The ideal object is a circle with uniformly distributed boundary.

I have tried to explain before in other essays that an object is characterised by its *repetitive* qualities, both in space and time.
Read 6 tweets

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