Wwx brings home this brochure to his roommate lwj.

wwx who does not know what bussy is: 'check out this cool new gym program, Lan Zhan! '

lwj who has previously looked up the term bc he saw it on a forum: grips chair arm so hard it splinters.
borne from (you guessed it) Trisha and I's sinful dms.
lwj: 'Wei Ying...what...is this?'

wwx: 'Oh! I'm just gonna attend this bussy training class, Lan Zhan, just you wait. I'm gonna have the fattest bussy out there.

lwj, pausing for a moment, trying not to freak out: 'What does the class....entail?'
wwx: 'I think it's just strengthening exercises? ...Maybe some instructor demonstrations?'

The chair arm lwj grips is under serious threat of completely shattering.

lwj: 'it is a group class?'

wwx nodding: 'Yeah! I think there's like 20 spots open.'

lwj, visibly paling
wwx: 'Sometimes we'll partner up!'

lwj, cursing every god above for the existence of this gym. Is this legal?

lwj, strained: 'Wei Ying. If you wanted to train--' a pause. '--your bussy--' a deep breath. 'I would be more than willing to assist.'
wwx: 'Oh?? Really? You know how to?'

lwj nodding, gravely: 'Yes.'

wwx, definitely not on the same page: 'Sure! That'll save me the class fee! Thanks, Lan Zhan. What would I do without you?'

That night they meet for their first bussy training session.
lwj with lube + condoms in hand vs wwx with exercise bands + workout clothing.

lwj, the most strained he's even been in his entire like: 'It seems, I have misunderstood something.'
Anyway, lwj ends up explaining the word to wwx who is as red as a tomato the entire explanation. They get the program to use a different word, bc what the fuck.

And later on, lwj /does/ give wwx bussy training anyway. πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄
bye, thank you for reading, i hope your eyeballs hurt as much as mine to after reading the word bussy so many times.

farewell friends, remember me well.

β€’ β€’ β€’

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More from @YunmengLotus

6 Nov
πŸ’‰Modern wwx is afraid of needlesπŸ’‰

Almost been dating for a whole year now, it's their first autumn together. They hold hands thru the park, wwx kicks up crunchy leaves, they have hot coco. It's bliss, then, one fateful afternoon lwj says

'Have you gone for your flu shot yet?'
Dread crawls along wwx's spine. Kicking another pile of leaves wwx dodges the question, pointing to a nearby farmers market booth advertising fresh, organic kale.

'Look! Kale!'

The distraction is fruitless, lwj tugs on their joined hands as wwx tries to run off.
'Wei Ying, have you?' lwj asks again.

Looking at his feet wwx responds, 'Haha, no, not yet'

There's a squeeze to their joined hands, making wwx look up, and lwj is smiling fondly at him. He's still getting used to how easy lwj's face softens around him, knocks him breathless.
Read 32 tweets
4 Nov

Ah, shit, the doorbell, and wwx is, of course, completely in the nude, (who wears clothes these days?). Grabbing the nearest article of clothes he finds, he shucks it over his head. It's his roomates sweater, long enough to reach to his mid-thighs. Good enough.
He signs for the package and then wanders back inside, distracted by the contents of the box. So, he doesn't change, or put on pants, and when the door unlocks at 4pm when lwj is done with class, wwx doesn't even realize what he's wearing.

'Ah, hi Lan Zhan' he greets.
There's the sound of something hitting the floor, so wwx looks up in alarm. The papers lwj was holding are not scattered on the floor at he's looking at wwx. Well, at wwx's legs....and THE SWEATER! Oh no!

'Ah! Sorry, Lan Zhan, I just grabbed whatever when the door rang'
Read 4 tweets
4 Nov
When they moved out together, they were a ripe 18, never lived outside of their families home before. Lwj didn't change much once they moved, but he did notice something. Every week, there were more, and more, sweets filling the cabinets.

Wwx wasn't buying them, so it was lwj?
Wwx didn't think lwj /had/ a sweettooth. Were Lans even allowed to eat sweets? Wasn't it against some rules of sort?

Wwx catches him red-handed one day. Lwj is storing away more sweets, like a squirrel for winter.

'Lan Zhan, halt. What've you got there?'
Lwj turns, expression carefully neutral. 'Nutella' lwj replies.

'Yes. And why are you filling our cabinets to the brims with sweets? Are you actually a survivalist?'

Lwj shakes his head, turning back he stares at what he's gathered.
Read 4 tweets
4 Nov
Ah, the pool, wwx's favorite place to be in summer time. Nhs was able to sneak him into this super fancy country club, and now he can luxuriate in the sparkly blue water not filled with teenagers trying to drown each other.

There's even a lifeguard! How boujee!
Upon further inspection, wwx slowly takes his shades off, mouth falling open in shock. There's /no/ way that this lifeguard is babe's watch level hot? Oh my god. He's probably got an 8 pack! And he's sitting there, on his throne! Looking ethereal!

Wwx saunters over.
A sultry swing to his hips, clap in tight, tiny, red swim trunks.

'Hey there big boy, you gonna save me if i drown?'

Lwj looks down, squints, 'Why would you drown? Can you not swim?'

'I mean yes--I can, but I mean like, what if...?'

'There are swim lessons Tues + Thurs'
Read 4 tweets
12 Oct
oh i had other new roommate wangxian idea this morning:

wwx takes dangerously hot showers;
like steam up the hallway hot
make yourself lightheaded hot
turn your skin red hot
worry your brand new roommate hot

here's how lwj discovers it:
πŸ’¦short threadfic 18+
they moved in together just a week ago, and wwx's schedule is sporadic, to say the least. in fact, lwj doesn't think there /is/ a schedule to wwx's activities.
lwj gets ready in the same order every single day. wakes up, makes his tea, checks the news, checks on his quaint little island in animal crossing new horizons which is meticulously organized and he only owns white + blue items. then he makes a small breakfast.
Read 49 tweets
11 Oct
modern au where wwx and lwj are new roomates and it's been 3 weeks and the only at home socks lwj wears are variations of these:
And wwx thinks, well he's got to be kidding right? like, playing a cute prank on his new roomate for kicks and giggles, but this /is/ lwj isnt it? and lwj has never played a prank in the 15 years they've known each other.
they've been friends since early childhood, and now they're both in their early 20s, needed a roomate to moveout, and figured, hey, who better than my best buddy!

so here they are, in a two bedroom cozy apartment, together, just lan wangji, wei wuxian...and lwj's bunny socks.
Read 64 tweets

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