eli Profile picture
21 Nov, 7 tweets, 2 min read
Something people w/o ADHD don’t seem to understand: it’s not just the tasks we don’t like that we struggle with. Today, I really wanted to play guitar and video games but I got stuck unable to get started for 4 hours. I couldn’t do my HOBBIES because I couldn’t find the start.
We aren’t lazy, we aren’t constantly refusing to do things just bc we don’t want to. Our brains make it hard to even do the things we love sometimes. But trust me, you don’t need to make us feel bad for it, we already give ourselves a harder time for it than you ever could.
My mum has been asking me to choose some things I want from a website for Christmas. A lovely task that means I’ll get gifts I love for Christmas but I really can’t seem to do it. I’m not trying to make it difficult it just is.
When you’re asking me to do a long task and I can’t, I may not want to but it’s probably because I don’t know how. Please assume I need support before reprimanding. Shouting me has never made a task easier, you’ve just frightened me into struggling silently now.
Some helpful alternatives to shouting/giving up on us:
‘When I do this, I start with this part’
‘Can I help you with it?’
‘Shall we do it together?’
‘If you find a bit too tricky, pick a different part and go back.’
‘Do what you can, the rest we can tackle later.’
‘Start here:’
‘Give it a go, if you’re struggling I’m just over here.’
‘It’s okay to find this hard, I do too.’
‘Do you need anything before we start?’
‘I can stay with you for the first bit if you like and then I’ll go when you feel okay to continue.’
‘I’m proud of you for asking for help.’
I suppose this is a thread. I didn’t plan for it to be but welcome!

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More from @ADHDBea

13 Aug
If you live in the UK and you’re seeking a diagnosis/assessment for ADHD, I recommend making a list of things you deal with before going. This will help you recall your symptoms when asked and takes the pressure off you trying to communicate them.
If you’re a teen/child, who has a teacher who you feel understands you, you can also ask them to put together a few sentences about your struggles/behaviours in class. This isn’t possible for everyone, but if you can, this can help validate your struggles and battle RSD.
Take this to the appointment. It can be calming to feel like you have a professional on your side. This can also work with a note from a parent/carer/spouse. When explaining try: ‘I know *syptom* is common in people with *ADHD*. I experienced this when *personal experience*
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