'Twas the night before Christmas
The year: 2020
Giuliani had lost foolish lawsuits a-plenty
Michigan lawmakers tried to be bought
When sedition was offered as trump's evil plot
And even though Biden and Harris had won
Transition of power still hadn't begun 1/
But republicans galore, growing tired of the crap
Were just waking up from their treasonous nap:
Early was Romney, no big surprise
And then came George Bush
Who said "fuck all these guys" 2/
Followed by Jeb who went after Room Rater (weird)
And Fred Upton from Michigan, no longer a hater
Kinzinger even pushed back on the "fraud"
I guess not everyone's as bad a Chuck Todd
Tom Reed from New York and then Governor Scott
Even Will Hurd cried foul on the plot 3/
Chuck Baker. Spence Cox. Dan Young from Alaska.
Frank Rooney, Condi Rice, Don Bacon Nebraska.
And who to my wondering ears took a bow
Concerned Susan Collins had furrowed her brow!
Ben Sasse and John Curtis. Potatoe Dan Quayle.
DeWine stated flatly the trump campaign failed 4/
Sununu called trump's failed Q-clan a cult
Karl Rove said that recounts won't change the result
Then Jim Risch and Mike Rounds and Cornyn defect
Even Rubio called Biden "president-elect" 5/
More rapid than eagles, elite strike force failed
And soon they would all find themselves being jailed
First Ellis, then Sidney, then Toensing and Joe
(They were already under investigation, you know) 6/
And then the most treasonous asshole blowhard?
Well his is face melted off, and he was disbarred.
Eventually, GSA Emily caved.
The voters had spoken: democracy saved!
Then Ossoff and Warnock won their seats by plenty,
And Joe was sworn in on January 20. 7/
They went straight to work. So much damage to fix
And the Justice Department indicted the pricks
And I heard Joe exclaim "We will persevere. Happy New Year to all, because RIGHT. MATTERS. HERE."
Thanks to @AVindman for the last line. Thanks to Dan Quayle for "Potatoe". And thanks to the American people for doing the right thing. Also, I want Chuck Todd's job. The end.
And of course, season’s greetings to @natsechobbyist
I feel like @glennkirschner2 would appreciate this.
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Um, wow. The evidence and testimony Jack Smith has is DAMNING. For instance, the government has testimony that Donald said of the voter fraud claims that the "details don't matter." There is also testimony that trump said it didn't matter if he lost, he would just declare he won. 1/
There are also multiple conversations Pence had with his running mate that they'd lost and it was time to "take a bow". I'm just digging into this, but Trump is cooked. None of this is immune (or the presumptive immunity can be easily rebutted.) 2/
HA! When Trump was on the phone with Michigan, lying to them about voter fraud, Trump was corrected and reminded he lost two counties becuase he "underperformed with educated females", which pissed him off. 3/
NEW: THREAD: A new ruling from Judge McBurney in Georgia overturning the abortion ban and allowing the procedure to continue has some REMARKABLE quotes. Let's take a look at just a few. 1/
"While the State’s interest in protecting “unborn” life is compelling, until that life can be sustained by the State -- and not solely by the woman compelled by the Act to do the State’s work -- the balance of rights favors the woman." 2/
"Women are not some piece of collectively owned community property the disposition of which is decided by majority vote. Forcing a woman to carry an unwanted, not-yet-viable fetus to term violates her constitutional rights to liberty and privacy, even taking into consideration whatever bundle of rights the not-yet-viable fetus may have." 3/
THREAD: Okay, so after my JAWS thread, I asked which movie I haven't seen to watch next - and the winner by a mile was Hunt for Red October - which happens to be on right now. So here we go 1/
THREAD: BREAKING: JD Vance says he would consider privatizing Veterans health care. This is something I know a little bit about. 1/
I worked for the Veterans Health Administration for over a decade, and that entire time, republicans have been trying to privatize our healthcare. Spurred by private health providers, big donors, and lobbyist's money - the want to move Veteran care to the private sector. 2/
There are several reasons that is a terrible idea, and why for so long Veterans and Veteran Service Organizations and Unions continually push back on the idea. First and foremost, it increases the wait time to get an appointment. 3/
Tim Pool is claiming that $100K per podcast episode is the normal market value of a show that gets 100K-200K views. I own a podcast network with shows that outperform his, and that’s absolutely not true. 1/
Market average is about $9 CPM (per thousand spins) per brand. Even with a 100% fill rate (unheard of) with 6 brands (also unheard of), that’s about $7,200 per episode for 100K views. $14,400 for 200K. Reality is closer to half. And that’s gross (before the network, ad agency, and talent agents take their cut). $100K per episode is market value for a show that gets MILLIONS of downloads. 2/
Also, Tim would be wise to stop talking publicly about this. Not just because I’m personally tired of his lies, but because he’s part of a criminal investigation now. Just my two cents. END/