'Twas the night before Christmas
The year: 2020
Giuliani had lost foolish lawsuits a-plenty

Michigan lawmakers tried to be bought
When sedition was offered as trump's evil plot

And even though Biden and Harris had won
Transition of power still hadn't begun 1/
But republicans galore, growing tired of the crap
Were just waking up from their treasonous nap:

Early was Romney, no big surprise
And then came George Bush
Who said "fuck all these guys" 2/
Followed by Jeb who went after Room Rater (weird)
And Fred Upton from Michigan, no longer a hater

Kinzinger even pushed back on the "fraud"
I guess not everyone's as bad a Chuck Todd

Tom Reed from New York and then Governor Scott
Even Will Hurd cried foul on the plot 3/
Chuck Baker. Spence Cox. Dan Young from Alaska.
Frank Rooney, Condi Rice, Don Bacon Nebraska.

And who to my wondering ears took a bow
Concerned Susan Collins had furrowed her brow!

Ben Sasse and John Curtis. Potatoe Dan Quayle.
DeWine stated flatly the trump campaign failed 4/
Sununu called trump's failed Q-clan a cult
Karl Rove said that recounts won't change the result

Then Jim Risch and Mike Rounds and Cornyn defect
Even Rubio called Biden "president-elect" 5/
More rapid than eagles, elite strike force failed
And soon they would all find themselves being jailed

First Ellis, then Sidney, then Toensing and Joe
(They were already under investigation, you know) 6/
And then the most treasonous asshole blowhard?
Well his is face melted off, and he was disbarred.

Eventually, GSA Emily caved.
The voters had spoken: democracy saved!

Then Ossoff and Warnock won their seats by plenty,
And Joe was sworn in on January 20. 7/
They went straight to work. So much damage to fix
And the Justice Department indicted the pricks

And I heard Joe exclaim "We will persevere. Happy New Year to all, because RIGHT. MATTERS. HERE."
Thanks to @AVindman for the last line. Thanks to Dan Quayle for "Potatoe". And thanks to the American people for doing the right thing. Also, I want Chuck Todd's job. The end.
And of course, season’s greetings to @natsechobbyist
I feel like @glennkirschner2 would appreciate this.

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More from @MuellerSheWrote

10 Nov
BREAKING DAILY BEANS EXCLUSIVE: This story involves Kash Patel; long-time Nunes aide who was just installed in the Pentagon as the Chief of Staff for trump's newly-minted Secretary of Defense Chris Miller. I'll start with the facts. THREAD 1/
In November 2019, it was reported that Col. Vindman had been instructed NOT to attend a Ukraine briefing in the Oval because donald thought Kash Patel - not Col. Vindman - was the director of Ukraine in the NSC. That's because Patel TOLD donald he was. 2/…
Bolton made the call to keep Vindman out of the briefing. At the time, it was reported that Vindman's presence would confuse the president. Here's the new information: it was actually because Bolton was trying to shield Vindman from being given compromising information 3/
Read 8 tweets
5 Nov
THREAD: Perhaps I’m exhausted, or maybe I need a bigger tin foil hat, but this Times story seems super-fishy. First, the headline coupled with the photo leads you to believe trump is sending armed feds to vote counting venues BUT 1/…
If you spend some time, you learn the photo is of LOCAL police in Detroit pushing back a crowd of people outside the department of elections. Read on, and we learn that three people saw an email from a guy in Rosen’s office to “prosecutors” (what?) saying the DoJ can send 2/
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28 Oct
Do I have this right? The trump campaign bussed the rally attendees from the parking lot to the rally, but didn’t give them a ride back to their cars afterwards and now people are freezing and stranded? Can anyone help them?
Headed to bed. Seems they’ve cleared the lot. Over 30 people went to the hospital. I hope no one died. What a perfect metaphor for the Trump administration. They use you for cheers and take your money, then literally leave you in the cold to fend for yourself.
Read 4 tweets
16 Oct
WHOA: Former Mueller team member JOINS the Vance/Manhattan DA/Mazars case. We learned this week that there was a SECRET fourth team on the Mueller probe looking into trump's finances (Egypt +). I wonder if he was on that team. Dude has argued over 100 cases in front of SCOTUS.
“But there was a fourth team, CNN has learned: partly dedicated to investigating the Egypt matter.” PARTLY? What else was that fourth team investigating? OR is Vance now looking into Egypt since The Barr-appointed Sherwin took over at the DC US Attorneys office...
And closed the case this past June? We know Vance took over the hush money campaign violation case after Barr shut it down in the SDNY. Maybe Vance picked up multiple campaign finance violation investigations related to the trump organization including Egypt.
Read 5 tweets
14 Oct
BREAKING: THREAD: the secret company from country A is REVEALED. It's a bank in Egypt according to new information received by Buzzfeed and CNN in their FOIA case. 1/…
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We now know from the newly released documents that trump wrote himself a check for $10M & the DC US Attorney, then Mueller, then the DC US Attorney again have been trying to trace the origin of that money for nearly four years. The feds believe that money moved through Egypt 3/
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11 Oct
THREAD: I'm sorry to have to share this bad news (again), but dems on the Senate Judiciary can't block the advancement of Amy Coney Barrett for confirmation in the full senate. Yes, senate rules say they must have a quorum in committee, and the rules go on to say... 1/ must be 9 members with 2 in the minority. HOWEVER, Lindsey can simply gavel past this rule and move to advance. Graham has done it in the past, and DiFi even wrote him a letter in 2019 imploring him not to. NOW, if Graham does ignore the minority member requirement 2/
Dems COULD challenge this by going to the senate parliamentarian and arguing that the rule change is out of order. BUT, Mitch could simply call a quorum in the full senate to overturn the parliamentarian. He's done this before with the SCOTUS filibuster rule... 3/
Read 6 tweets

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