To the idiots packing malls today or jamming onto planes, let me walk you through the "why do you give a damn?" thought you're having:
1/13
You, enmeshing yourself with thousands of unknown sources of plague. Hell, you say, you're young and healthy, and you want Christmas and Black Friday sales, dammit.
2/13
You, also, explaining to me that you really only see a few of your friends, or maybe just your folks. No biggee. Also you: off to work on Monday. You feel fine.
3/13
One of the friends you partied with last night (to show off all your great mall finds) works at a drug store giving out flu shots. You've seen the lineups for those? Whatever. He stacks the shelves with Meow Mix and Q-tips.
4/13
Your Mom says she's off to visit grandma at the LTC home she lives in. You Mom had a Covid test a week and a half ago, as per the rules. In she goes.
5/13
By Wednesday, you are still fine. Mom has been to the LTC home twice. Drugstore Cowboy has worked three shifts - it's the holiday season, the season of giving.
6/13
Someone, in fact many someones, in that covid cauldron of a mall, is now coughing. Another is wheezing. Three others can't smell. Nobody knows why, it is a mystery. They carry on, most going to work, seeing family. One will be in the ICU by tonight, but you don't know that.
7/13
Drugstore Cowboy announces he's tested positive, but had no symptoms. Musta got it from that lineup of people getting tested. Damned store. But he's fine. Why does everybody play this thing up so much? He suggests you get tested.
8/13
You haven't seen anything about an outbreak at the mall you went to, though. It's been ten days, you'd be told, right? Not if you live in Ontario, Alberta or anywhere Trumpland. Hahahhahahaha. Sigh. No.
9/13
You figure you should get tested, just in case. Oh shit. You're positive, though it takes days and days to find that out. But you feel fine. They tell you to list who you've come in contact with, and the list is long. It starts with several thousand people at a mall.
10/13
Then you move to your parents. Two siblings, Drugstore Cowboy, your best friend, beer store, two grocery stores, the place you got burritos the other night, four people at work.
11/13
By now, we know that Mom, despite having her "clear" test, has been trucking the virus into the LTC home for over a week. She was only negative at the moment she took the test. You made her positive, but she falsely thought she was safe.
12/13
Grandma is dead. Dad is asking why he can't taste anything.

But you made it to the mall. Hope everybody likes what you got them for Christmas.
13/

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