Thread on accountability and forgiveness : I have a unique perspective on this. I used to be a Border Patrol agent. I used to enforce racist, brutal policies aimed at Black and brown migrants. It took me many years and a serious suicide attempt to come to terms with my actions.1)
2) My anger during those years was aimed at everyone but myself. It’s only when I took responsibility for my own actions, accepted what I had done and what it did to others than I could truly heal. You see, accountability isn’t just about the victims getting justice. It’s about
3) offenders seeing their wrongs. Admitting their failures and listening to those they’ve harmed. This brings me to forgiveness. I ask every person I meet who has been affected by our immigration policies for forgiveness. I ask this because my actions helped create this system.
4) I ask this knowing full well I may not receive it. In fact, I have never had one person say they forgive me. At first, this upset me. But then I realized that the act of asking for forgiveness is the key. When you ask, you are admitting your wrongs. You are putting your soul
5) yourself in their hands. This gives victim’s control, it gives them power. Submitting yourself for forgiveness to those you’ve harmed is powerful not just for the ones asking for it, but for the ones it is asked from. That is what leads to healing. That is what
6) leads to not repeating history. So you see, you cannot simply move on. You must be accountable to the victims and to yourself before any forgiveness comes, and it may never come. You have to understand that and accept it.

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More from @BuddJenn

9 Nov
Thread about not going backwards: I was born in 1971. This means I was in high school in the 80s and college in the early 90s. I joined the Border Patrol in 1995. Back then, equality for me meant joining institutions that had previously shut me out bc I am a woman and gay.
2) Progress meant becoming a part of those institutions and the systems that run them. The hope was that we could make changes. The hope is that with more women, LGBTQ and people of color, we could change the systems. These systems and institutions were made by and for white men.
3) What you see today with the openness of white supremacy, police brutality, Trump...this is the result of us trying to change the system. It is the backlash. It’s their response. Every time we made changes, they corrupted those changes. A good example is how the
Read 8 tweets
8 Nov
After hearing about Joe winning, that feeling that you are getting, like you have more mental space to deal w/other things in your life? That‘s bc living under Trump is traumatic. He has traumatized Americans.
I have had a lot of trauma in my life. I’ve discovered this to be true: when you are being traumatized, it takes a lot out of you mentally. You got every day tasks, but if you add a traumatic event like being raped or losing a loved one, your mental space to deal w/everyday tasks
2) become more difficult and then you can’t deal w/that shitty neighbor. When the trauma is removed, and you start to recover from it, you suddenly don’t hate the neighbor as much and maybe feel bad for being mean.
Read 4 tweets
7 Nov
1) I want to talk to those of you who keep tweeting me this photo. I notice how many of you are male and young. As someone who worked in law enforcement in the 1990’s, allow me to enlighten you of what it was like.
2) This is me in 1995. To be a woman, white or of color, in those days meant you were repeatedly sexually harassed if not assaulted on a daily basis by men who controlled your career.
3) Maybe even you were raped by a fellow agent like I was and all the leadership covered it up. And when you finally passed all their stupid tests, they said you only passed because you probably fucked someone in leadership. And if you got promoted, they again accused you of
Read 7 tweets
30 Oct
I see these cops and think, this is border policing coming to your community. Every time agents kill someone, they claim that they were the actual victims. They were the ones assaulted. Every single time. 1)
2) They said this shooting was because a migrant viciously stabbed an agent. He was life flighted out after killing the man, but he was released from the hospital that night & returned to full duty the next week.
Read 7 tweets
24 Oct
I have just returned from walking last night’s shooting in San Ysidro by a Border Patrol agent. There are at least @CBP 4 cameras and 4-5 private business cameras that @SanDiegoPD should have custody of that were aimed at the area where the shooting occurred.
2) These 3 cameras would show people entering and leaving the scene.
3) Cameras at the port that can see the area.
Read 7 tweets
3 Oct
You don’t have to take the high road in this. You don’t have to be civil or respectful. Trump is an abuser. His policies have separated families, killed children in custody, drowned families in the Rio Grande. His policies have torn parents from their children while being taken 1
2 to school or to church. He has poisoned our water and air. Thousands of Americans were left to die in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. He attacks women, children, gays, transgendered, Muslim, Black... And don’t feel you have to respect him because he is president.
3 He abandoned our allies and sided with dictators. He supported men who kill journalists and jail and torture their political enemies. He has stolen our tax money and used it to pay his own businesses. He’s taking away healthcare and never n made a plan about covid.
Read 6 tweets

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