Joshua Cypess Profile picture
Dec 20, 2020 23 tweets 9 min read Read on X
23.01/ Week 23, Jan 19-25 begins here. (Why does it start on Saturday? Because it's Sat. night, which in halakha is Sunday - Yom Rishon - the first day of the week. Thanks for coming to my Todros Talk)

Last week's thread here:
23.02/ Halakhically a lie is ethical if it's for compassionate ends: "white lies" (eg "nice hat") I'd like to add a distinction for lies in the pursuit of justice: "red lies"

eg lying to the murderer is a Red Lie (& resolves a classic Kantian dilemma)…
23.04/ Scorigami! My son was tracking this all afternoon, and every action in the game we were cheering or booing only as it related to this possibility. That's nerd sports.

And thank you to the safety :)
23.05/ Very hard to see the Jets winning - even suggesting it could result in the Wile E. Coyote Effect, where upon realizing they ARE the Jets, they will lose. But also because it would ruin their utterly obvious tank
23.06/ Jets won. I think my brain broke. They were 0-13, on the road, against the NFC-West leading Rams with a great defense & the best player in the NFL (Aaron Donald).


23.07/ Thread on the travesty of 'trickle down economics' & how unethical intellectuals are well paid to provide excuses for every terrible behavior

23.08/ Tolstoy turns out to be more of an Every Man than I knew, as in the type of man who says "Not Every Man"
23.09/ A thread about learning Midrash, the way I teach my kids, the way I recommend Torah is taught, Hillel/Shammai, and all that. I hope to expand on this later.

23.10/ OMG, Bingo! I have Bingo on my Fascism By Numbers bingo card. I was waiting until the depraved abuser-in-chief went after "bad art"

BTW, winning this Bingo card is a terrible feeling in real life.

23.11/ It's not as bad as Vayelekh (see below) which can appear 2 times in a Hebrew year, but Vayigash can appear twice in a secular year (e.g. 2010 & 2017). Just makes my task of parsha-archiving harder (see

23.12/ When people say about a real life problem "try unplugging it and plug it back in" that's meant to be a joke, not taken literally. And yet, here we are, Israel unplugging for a fourth time in 2 years.

Maybe now they'll get the non-Bibi patch upgrade
23.13/ OK, first of all I had no idea so many people were "living" in Antarctica. I guess it makes sense they're Chilean, given how close they are

Second: it's demoralizing to see these outbreaks after 9 months of knowing the rules about the disease

23.14/ In the spirit of #PirkeiAvot ch.5, there are 4 temperaments about power:

1) those with power who want to deny it to others
2) those with power who want to share it with all
3) those without power who want to join group 1
4) those without power who want to join group 2
23.15/ About yesterday's Trump (ym'sh) outrages (the pardons): I was a TA for a college class in the Shoah & it was clear that all acts of resistance, saving 1 or 2 lives at a time, paled in impact to ending the war one day sooner: GOP refusing to impeach is the contemp. analogy
23.16/ Just quickly popping in to say that, as a Biblical scholar, the names for units of volume for champagne are random and bonkers.

Then again, how non-Jews understand Biblical characters is often strange to me (cf. Herman Melville)… A list of the champagne bot...
23.17/ It's parshat #Vayigash, which means it's Serach bat Asher week in the Cypess house

As a frum feminist married to a musicologist, I'm a fan (stan?) of Serach, the (literally) immortal musician of the mesora

Nice source sheet…
23.18/ Attached is one of my favorite jokes and illustrates a level I have been able to attain only occasionally, but when I get it right, there's no greater thrill.

From the Encyclopedia of Jewish Humor, p.21 &
OCR pdf version here:… Jewish Joke in the chapter ...
23.19/ I propose that when Trump (ym'sh) is finally out of power, that we relegate the phrases "Make __ Great Again" and "fake news" to the same taboo as putting Final and Solution next to each other. They are phrases formed by a hate group death cult
23.20/ Wow! Rav Hershel Schachter & Rav Mordechai Willig of Yeshiva University broadcast their receiving the COVID19 vaccine on video, leading the way, teaching by example.

The bracha afterwards is "HaTov VeHaMeitiv"

I'm getting emotional about it, whoa.
23.21/ Thread about the #TenthOfTevet and the meaning for today (Today and davka today, Dec 25 2020).

Note, in the midst of writing it, I paid 2 shiva calls. Rachmana L'atzlan.

23.22/ OK, Eruv is up, we're all set. I'd write more but I'm delirious with sleep-deprivation and food/drink-deprivation... while cooking
23 end/ @threadreaderapp please unroll.

@threader_app please compile.

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More from @JoshuaCypess

May 6
199.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-nine, May 4-10, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 198 below.
199.02/ FYI - I did some research and evidently the real 2015 ad this skit is parodying was about a father sending his kid to the US Army (i.e. the army was presented in the same gauzy way as college).…
199.03/ This is great.

IMO the 2 best are (1) PIT-BAL b/c both teams are always good, the games always close, violent & have playoff implications. (2) NYG-PHI b/c no matter how good/bad either are the game can go either way & the fanbases HATE each other.
Read 5 tweets
May 1
198.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-eight, April 27-May 3, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 197 below.
198.02/ #ChochmatNashim for #AchareiMot & #Kedoshim 5783. @ChochmatNashim

It's going to be hard updating the 5784 edition before Shabbas, so please enjoy this "classic" version from last year. Divrei Torah from Orthodox women scholars on the parsha.…
@ChochmatNashim 198.03/ The jig is up, the news is out, they finally found her... Mazal Tov and congratulations to my wife, Dr. Rebecca Cypess, on her new position as Dean of Stern College and Yeshiva College! BE"H her new position will allow her to help heal academia.…
Read 10 tweets
Apr 16
196.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-six, April 13-19, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 195 below.
196.02/ Still holds true (from last year)
196.03/ #NachasAlert: My son has a big article (pages 4-6) in this week's Torah journal from his high school #Metzora-#HaGadol. Enjoy!…
Read 5 tweets
Apr 7
195.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-five, April 6-12, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 194 below.
195.02/ Happy #Eclipse2024 Day for all who celebrate. Here's an interesting article about the halakhic implications of an eclipse by Rabbi Dov Linzer:…
195.03/ #Eclipse2024 My extended family went to a place of 100% totality and took this picture a few minutes ago. For me its 90% and can't be photographed (which is one reason I said shehechiyanu). Not paskening for anyone else, but for me this is a religious experience. The total eclipse of April 8, 2024
Read 10 tweets
Apr 2
194.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-four, March 30-April 5, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 193 below.
194.02/ #ChochmatNashim for #Shemini 5784.
Downloadable PDF with working links to Divrei Torah by Orthodox women scholars on the parsha and other topics of the week. #Shmini #HaChodesh…
194.03/ This is, 'how you say?, "awesome sauce"
Read 5 tweets
Mar 24
193.01/ Week one-hundred and ninety-three, March 23-29, 2024, thread begins here.

Week 192 below. #HappyPurim!
193.02/ This is now my preferred pshat
193.03/ #NachasAlert: Final (so far) tally of times my son leyned Megillah seven times; 3 last night, four times today. Including once for a home-bound Shoah survivor. So proud.
Read 9 tweets

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