Who would be polite to the roomba?
Who would say "thank you" to Alexa after asking a question?
Who would get jealous of the other being extra nice to the AI and showering it in compliments?
Who would have clap-on clap-off lights installed in every room of the home?
Who puts the cat (feline) (also interchangeable with baby a-yuan) on top of the roomba? Multiple times per day?
Who takes longer showers?
Who has the green thumb? The plant parent.
Who wears A-Yuan strapped to his chest in one of those hand-free baby holders?
Who carries the Mote (tm) (male-tote)

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More from @YunmengLotus

12 Jan
wangxian as ways i met folks i hooked up with (idea from @/varnesbutworse) :
wwx is a local delinquent failing out of HS, taking night classes and lwj is the volleyball captain who runs drills in the school hallways during night classes.
wwx and lwj meet at a cultural festival and wwx makes a joke about "laughing his contact out of his eye" they exchange numbers and start texting before they've even separated
Read 10 tweets
10 Jan
tw // alcohol

modern raver wwx who after a few unfortunate bad experiences at a rave has his best friend lwj tag along as his emotional support barricade from unwanted touches/interactions
Lwj isn't the rave type, but after a call from wwx at 3:46 a.m. (wwx is one of two numbers that bypass his do not disturb setting on his phone) from a sobbing wwx who didn't know where he was, or how he got there, lwj makes it his personal duty to go with wwx to every rave.
So that this kind of thing doesn't happen again.

Lwj deserves to be inducted into sainthood with how well he maintains his restraint when wwx shows up in the tiniest rave outfits, all crisscrossing straps, and pieces of fabric that barely constitute as clothing.
Read 41 tweets
30 Nov 20
Modern au where lwj discovers he gets off on pain. When he was a teen he was always fascinated w jewelry, but never allowed to wear it bc of how strict lqr was. So when he's finally out in his own apartment, he goes to get his ears pierced. Little does he know how he would react.
He googles 'lgbt friendly piercing parlors near me' and up pops the top rated parlor named: Yiling House of Pain. A bit of an odd title, he thinks, but the reviews are all positive so he calls to make an appointment the very next day. He's a bit nervous, but excited.
He finds himself fascinated by the thought of it, it's at the front of his mind for the rest of the day. What will it feel like? Will it hurt? Will it look good on him? Sleep comes with effort on his part to quiet the buzz of excitement running through his nerves.
Read 224 tweets
20 Nov 20
Wwx brings home this brochure to his roommate lwj.

wwx who does not know what bussy is: 'check out this cool new gym program, Lan Zhan! '

lwj who has previously looked up the term bc he saw it on a forum: grips chair arm so hard it splinters.
borne from (you guessed it) Trisha and I's sinful dms.
lwj: 'Wei Ying...what...is this?'

wwx: 'Oh! I'm just gonna attend this bussy training class, Lan Zhan, just you wait. I'm gonna have the fattest bussy out there.

lwj, pausing for a moment, trying not to freak out: 'What does the class....entail?'
Read 10 tweets
6 Nov 20
πŸ’‰Modern wwx is afraid of needlesπŸ’‰

Almost been dating for a whole year now, it's their first autumn together. They hold hands thru the park, wwx kicks up crunchy leaves, they have hot coco. It's bliss, then, one fateful afternoon lwj says

'Have you gone for your flu shot yet?'
Dread crawls along wwx's spine. Kicking another pile of leaves wwx dodges the question, pointing to a nearby farmers market booth advertising fresh, organic kale.

'Look! Kale!'

The distraction is fruitless, lwj tugs on their joined hands as wwx tries to run off.
'Wei Ying, have you?' lwj asks again.

Looking at his feet wwx responds, 'Haha, no, not yet'

There's a squeeze to their joined hands, making wwx look up, and lwj is smiling fondly at him. He's still getting used to how easy lwj's face softens around him, knocks him breathless.
Read 32 tweets
4 Nov 20

Ah, shit, the doorbell, and wwx is, of course, completely in the nude, (who wears clothes these days?). Grabbing the nearest article of clothes he finds, he shucks it over his head. It's his roomates sweater, long enough to reach to his mid-thighs. Good enough.
He signs for the package and then wanders back inside, distracted by the contents of the box. So, he doesn't change, or put on pants, and when the door unlocks at 4pm when lwj is done with class, wwx doesn't even realize what he's wearing.

'Ah, hi Lan Zhan' he greets.
There's the sound of something hitting the floor, so wwx looks up in alarm. The papers lwj was holding are not scattered on the floor at he's looking at wwx. Well, at wwx's legs....and THE SWEATER! Oh no!

'Ah! Sorry, Lan Zhan, I just grabbed whatever when the door rang'
Read 4 tweets

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