If you get impeached twice that’s called twinpeachment.
Idk guys I’ve been on zoom meetings since 7:30 AM and I have another 3 hour one coming up in a few minutes.

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More from @OhNoSheTwitnt

10 Jan
“We need to move on from this” say the Republicans who have been talking about Hillary Clinton for the last 4 fucking years.
It’s just a violent coup in which 5 people died, it’s not like it’s emails!
Hi while I appreciate every person in my mentions saying “more like 8 years” or “more like 20 years” or whatever, I’m just referring to the election. Also maybe read the replies before you reply the same fucking thing as 50 other people thanks.
Read 4 tweets
31 Dec 20
Either the owl is here to send me on a side quest or it’s delivering a tiny letter from Hogwarts. Either way, it needs a name. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl so I decided it’s a girl and now she needs a name. Suggestions welcome.
So far I’ve come up with
Owl Capone
Owl Bundy
Owl Green
Owl Sharptalon
Samuel Owl Jackson
The Mandowlorian
Read 4 tweets
31 Dec 20
[watching Return of the King with my husband]

Me: The problem is that this is a patriarchy. If they had women in charge there wouldn’t even be a stupid war.

Him: (exasperated sigh)
Me: If they’re going to reference Zeppelin lyrics in this so much in these long-ass movies why not play some fucking Zeppelin.

Him: (Turns off tv)
Me: Who’s that Targaryen motherfucker?

Him: He’s not a Targaryen he’s the witch king of-

Me: You can’t fool me, he’s riding a dragon.

Him: It’s not a dragon it’s a-

Me: Bro I think I know a dragon when I see one.
Read 6 tweets
2 Dec 20
Very surprised that the dude whose airline, casinos, university, beverage brand, steaks, vodka, and magazine failed would blow millions of dollars on giving his opponent even more votes.
The dictionary should change the meaning of the word trump to pathetic sore loser bitch-baby.
This is a dude who “wrote” a book called The Art of the Deal
Read 4 tweets
8 Oct 20
Between the blood in his eyes and the fly on his head, Pence was like a one-man story of Passover last night.
Happy Penceover.
Read 5 tweets
11 Sep 20
Wonder what wildly inappropriate thing Trump will say about 9/11 today. His past responses over the years will be tough to beat.
Never forget that last year Trump invited the Taliban to Camp David right before the anniversary of 9/11 then canceled it because of criticism and claimed that he didn’t know they were so bad.
This quote didn’t age well huh?
Read 4 tweets

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