Watson Profile picture
13 Jan, 5 tweets, 1 min read
You know, I lived as a man for 5+ years but I don't actually know what it feels like to *be* one

I was perceived as one and so treated as one. But I wasn't one. It was an act. I don't know what it's like to actually *be* male and have to deal with male issues and struggles

1/x
How could I know? Because I looked like one?

Aye, people did treat me differently, for better & worse, and I can see how men and women are socialised differently from a new lens

But there's much I didn't have to deal with as trans. I wasn't going to get a girl pregnant

2/x
I also had to tell the women I slept with that I didn't have a dick, so, y'know. Not a very male experience

Yes, I looked, sounded and acted male, and was therefore treated as male. But I wasn't, would never be, and that was the final nail in the coffin of my transition

3/x
I couldn't just mimic the opposite sex for the rest of my life

It's perfectly fine if trans adults want to do that, I'll use your pronouns and all, no worries

But we need to acknowledge the truth and tell young dysphoric people what transition really is - an appearance

4/x
You can look the part, but you'll never *be* the part, and it's vital that this is understood.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being trans.

There's absolutely everything wrong with reinforcing lies and delusions.

5/5

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More from @ImWatson91

21 Dec 20
I can't say what the global experience of being diagnosed with gender dysphoria is. I can, however, tell you what I went through for the diagnosis, and what the subsequent referral for HRT and surgery was like.

1/8
I was 24, severely depressed with a drinking problem, had attempted suicide, and had had an "episode" which required hospitalisation on a psych ward when I was evaluated at the gender clinic.

I was prescribed and was injecting T within months.

2/8
I thought transition would cure whatever had caused my problems. So did my psychiatrist. To his credit, he had no way of knowing otherwise. I genuinely believe he, and the gender team who looked at my case, thought they were doing best by me. They were the professionals.

3/8
Read 8 tweets
16 Dec 20
If I may offer some advice to those who treat/evaluate dysphoric individuals who are considering transition - ask your patients to seriously think on the unchangeable aspects that go beyond desiring to obtain the outward appearance of the opposite sex

1/x
You can get HRT and however many surgeries you desire. You can *look* like and be perceived as the opposite sex.

But a woman will never truly experience what it is to be male, and a man will never truly experience what it is to be female.

2/x
I obtained the appearance of a male and "lived as" one for 5 years. But it was all superficial.

I'm not male. I'll never remember being a wee boy, go through male puberty, have a real penis, father kids - because while I *look* like a male, HRT/surgery didn't *make* me one

3/x
Read 5 tweets
16 Dec 20
I began detransition 14 months ago

At the time I was so afraid of never passing as my sex again that I overcompensated with make up, a wig, feminine clothes etc

But thats not me. 14 months on, I present how I'm comfortable - "masculine"

I still get "sir'd" and that's fine

1/x
I'm comfortable being who I am

I'm a woman with stubble and mastectomy scars and a deep voice etc.

But I'm happy because that's me. Would I undo my transition if I could? In a heartbeat.

But I *can't* change what's already happened. So I learned to love the new me

2/x
It wasn't easy. Between the self hatred & resentment directed towards the professionals who facilitited my transition, I was a mess for a long time

I should have taken some time for myself *long* before I actually did.

If you're starting detransion, get off Twitter. Now.

3/x
Read 6 tweets
22 Mar 20
Uncomfortable topic time: Restarting T and Retransition

I doubt I could ever restart T, not after how far I've come. But I'd be lying if I said the desire never popped into my head.

And I'm not the only detrans woman to contemplate it. 1/5
But, "just because you're a little different from other women doesn't mean you're not a woman."

I know. But detrans women aren't "a little" different from other women.

When you're balding, bearded, boobless, with a man voice and Adams apple, you're very different from them. 2/5
Speaking to those who restart T, I get it. I don't agree with them but I do understand them.

2 things:

1 They regret transitioning, but the T changed them so much they feel detransition is pointless.

2 They got no help. Untreated dysphoria = a surge in desire to restart T. 3/5
Read 5 tweets
22 Jan 20
The story of Shirley A. Mason (aka Sybil) is fascinating.

She was presumed to have Dissociative Identity Disorder, caused by an abusive childhood. A book about her case – Sybil (1973) – was a sensation in the 1970s, with it being adapted into a film in 1976.

1/5
Her story produced widespread interest, with a group of psychiatrists lobbying (successfully) to have “multiple personality disorder” added to the DSM. After that, the once incredibly rare disorder became far, far more common.

2/5
"In the entire history of Western civilization, there had been less than 200 cases over a period of centuries … But after the book and film, suddenly there were hundreds and thousands. And by the late 1980s there were 40,000 cases diagnosed in the United States alone.”

3/5
Read 5 tweets
12 Jan 20
What happened in 2013? A rising number of teen girls started presenting at gender clinics to address gender dysphoria. Girls - who weren’t dysphoric as kids and instead developed dysphoria *after* hitting their teens – suddenly believed they were boys born in the wrong body. 1/8
We’re told the soaring number of dysphoric girls is due to an increase in awareness and acceptance of trans people. I’ll return to that in a minute. But first, another question: why are more and more detransitioners popping up? 2/8
The concept that one’s body is inherently “wrong” and in need of fixing can only intensify the likelihood that dysphoric kids will detach from and/or harm themselves. Affirming trans-identified kids, who may not even *be* trans, is a risk we shouldn’t be taking. 3/8
Read 8 tweets

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