the real problem with the 'born this way' narrative we've leaned on to legitimize queerness in the eyes of scared heterosexuals is that it allows them to treat gay sex as some kind of doomed inevitability for freaks rather than the active choice of any two consenting adults
believe it or not someone who identifies as straight can have gay sex if they want (the same way closeted gay men might have sex with women for years) but society likes to pretend they can't possibly because it dismantles hetero privileges
Everyone is born with a predisposition, whether that's gay, bi, asexual or any of a host of legitimate identities. That's true, and it's important.

On top of that, people can choose to have whatever sex they want while still self-identifying, and that also needs to be okay.
We need to be open to the possibility that everyone is constantly exploring and growing and changing. An identity that fits one day might not fit tomorrow. Everyone needs room to do that.

the entire spirit of queerness is to reject being assigned an identity that isn't you
the 'born this way' angle was necessary, I do get it. It had a purpose, and it served it. But I think we can do better. I might be born like this, but more important than that - I CHOOSE this, and that's the hill I'm willing to die on
one last thought: even in a different world where no-one was born gay and it was all nurture, people would be entitled to carry on living happy gay lives because there would be nothing wrong with them at all 👍

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More from @deathbybadger

9 Jan
idk about y'all but for me figuring out who is gay and who is not in a room full of strangers is the difference between feeling safe and keeping one eye on the available exits
I will legitimately drop certain things into conversation that heteros are not likely to pick up on, wear gay symbology that might go under the radar for a straight man, and I see other queers doing it too
I don't think stuff like polari and the handkerchief code is dead in spirit I just think the language changes to stay one step ahead
Read 4 tweets
24 Dec 20
don't mind me just making a list of all the things men stole from themselves via misogyny like colourful clothes, basic hygiene, makeup, housekeeping skills, intimate friendships or any emotion that isn't anger - being raised like that no wonder we have a high suicide rate
my mom did great, but I did not have a decent male role model for a Long time, because 90% of men would rather CHOOSE to be MISERABLE than embrace anything designated feminine
I do not want shower gel that smells like Razor Edge or whatever the fuck that is
Read 4 tweets
23 Sep 20
If I could address this seriously for a moment, without a trace of acidity, I think that the luxury of being always gracious and civil (and it is a luxury) is enjoyed by primarily by those who don't have to fight to have their voice heard.
there was an amusing tweet a while back which said something along the lines of "all the nice gays died out ages ago and only the cockroaches are left" and as a man who wears gay shit and get called a faggot on the street on a regular basis, no I do not overflow with patience
the expectation to be nice and to see the best in people at all time is not something I can afford, because it's not in the interest of my own survival. The world isn't like that. Not yet, anyway.

My knee jerk reaction to expect the worst is based in experience.
Read 5 tweets
21 Sep 20
so you wanna hear a funny story
I had a week to fill this in, and it was an important issue to me, and one I have opinions on

but each time I tried I kinda just got upset about how I was treated a few months ago and I had to put it down
the original draft of Curse of Hearts, before I deliberately ramped up the Gay out of principle, would have passed all these proposed guidelines

there was literally no reason for any of that drama to come to pass

but I'll be damned if I ever get a sincere apology
you see what HAPPENS is

1. a minority raises a complaint

2. the perpetrating company ignores it, denies it and defends it (in that order) before giving in after the person is thoroughly traumatized

3. the company then pretends the changes they end up making were their idea
Read 6 tweets
19 Sep 20
there is a growing stable of #dnd designers who I literally want to shake until their robot parts fall out 💙

D&D is a game where 90% of your tools are violent. The soul of the mechanical game is based around physical conflict.

Love is a massively complex emotion with nuance and depth. Jackhammering it into a combat simulator so you can use it as a weapon is...revealing
Charm Person and other forms of mind control magic which imply infatuation are on shaky enough ground as it is, and are obviously evil, that's a given.

I think it takes a very reductive view of what love is, and the ways it manifests, to try and reduce it to combat bonuses
Read 5 tweets
15 Sep 20
this is 100% the take I finally get cancelled for
ME: (statting up my 1001th character I will never play) this game is just a mess
Read 4 tweets

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