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Emery Thrash

14 Jan, 22 tweets, 9 min read

This is dangerous and the reason why SO MANY marriages end up in divorce...
What exactly is a marriage to you?
Whats the difference between you and your lover being in love and together as gf and bf (or whatever) and yall being married?
A legal document...
(Saw this on Facebook)

If you *really* love your SO, then whether you are married to them or not ought be NONE of your concern. Because what matters most is that yall are together and yall love each other.
Whats/hows some piece of paper and some jewelry going to change anything?

It doesn't/won't. If you feel that yall need to be married in order for you to believe that your SO truly loves you or that he/she/whatever is truly the one for you, then you have a problem and its not your SO that you love -

- Its the idea of being married that you love, and are merely using your SO as a means to an end in order to fulfill your own desires.
Now this isn't a rant against marriage. I believe people ought to get married if thats what they both want to do.

However, I've seen many ruined lives/relationships between couples because they wanted to get married ASAP, cuz at one point or another, something would have come up by then.

Like some secret one hide from the other, or one turns out to be something the other didn't originally believe, or one, the other, or even both simply fall out of love.

But thats not to say that every couple who marrys asap will end up in a divorce, or the every couple who wait and decent amount of time wont.

However, its about the likelihood...
The likelihood of a marriages that happened asap will end up in divorce is significantly higher than marriages that took some time to come to fruition -

- this is simply true cuz it follows that the longer you are with your SO the more you both will know about each other and the more you both know of each other, the less you both will know about each other -

- aka stuff that could potentially end a marriage - so of such does come up while yall aren't married, and its of a scale that you unfortunately dont want to be with them anymore or vice-versa -

- then yall can call it quits and see other people and yall dont have to worry about or deal with the legal processes and frustrations of an unfortunate divorce.

And if yall can manage a good number of years together w/o unfaithfulness or falling out of love or whatever, and yall know enough about each other, then the road to a long lasting fruitful marriage is open.

(but thats not to say all of this is absolutely necessary for a fruitful marriage. God willing all marriages are fruitful imho).

If you're with someone and they want to marry you only after 6 months of meeting you, or dating you, then you ought to know thet that ain't right.
Heck, yall shouldn't even be speaking of marriage at this point, but there's nothing wrong with planning in advance.

If someone is willing to marry you only after a DAY if yall being together, then ought to call it quits because they are setting you up for failure regardless of out good that one day was/is.

It ought to take at least a year or two of yall dating and chatting for yall both to know that - hey! I wanna marry this person! - then wait a couple more years or so of planning things out and whatever then yall can get married if yall feel that the time is right.

Heck! Yall can wait 10 years of yall being together before yall decide to marry. The longer the better! (But some states would consider yall to be married at that point).

The only difference is a piece of paper and jewelry - so please dont rush into things regardless of how you feel about your SO.
For..
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9

So dont listen to your heart, listen to your MIND!
You gotta KNOW if this is whats best for you and your SO. So do yourself a favor and play the long game.