Laz Versalles Profile picture
Jan 22, 2021 12 tweets 7 min read Read on X
THREAD: This is a love story. Kind of.

Our setting, Rancho Park, is run by @LACityGolf who's unofficial motto is: "Treat Customers Like Hostages." You are reminded of each time they take your credit card through the bullet-proof glass.
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Our protagonist is @gabbiecarter00 who finds herself working on her golf swing on the upper level of the practice range at Rancho. She does not have a good swing, she has a *great* swing.
Serendipitously next to Gabbie on the range is Donnie. Donnie is not a good golfer.
I think it's a good time for me to point out I am not the one taking these pictures. You can find the images/video on a video hosting site that will ask you to verify your age. The production house is called:
I live right by Rancho Park. People ask how hard it is to get a tee time and I tell them it's like Ellis Island. Get in line and good luck. I wondered if Gabbie and Donnie had @LACityGolf patron cards.
After striking up some small talk, Gabbie and Donnie decide to see about a quick 9-hole thriller.
Anyone who lives on the Westside is chuckling at the audacity to think a twosome can just roll out to the tee at Rancho. BUT somehow @LACityGolf has mastered tee times enough on a perfectly warm sunny LA day & Gabbie and Donnie hardly see a soul! The course is somehow *theirs*
Donnie finds the first fairway, Gabbie called "two of the tee" and had a large bucket at the ready. Again- all of this happening at what is billed as "the busiest golf course in America" on a perfect day with nobody around.
The video is filmed by 3rd person Chuck, who also serves as a caddy. At least 2 Rancho Rules being broken here.

Apparently the position of @LACityGolf is:
Want to watch your kid play a match? Wait in the parking lot.
Want to film a porn? How many carts would you like.
It's a story as old as time; Boy Meets Girl On Mats Only Range, Love Follows
By the 2nd hole we are reminded that the heart wants what it wants. Later in the video we are reminded that it's never a good idea to eat food at Rancho Park.

"What do I get if I make this challenging 2 foot putt?"
So that's it. I'll let you do the rest of the research.
I am all for Gabbie and (kind of) for Donnie. No shame on them.
But @LACityGolf and Rancho Park should be 100% ashamed and they are *obviously* complicit in allowing a porn to be filmed on course while kids play nearby.

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More from @laz_versalles

Aug 10, 2023
The Billy Walters I know. A 🧵
(Spoiler: The best guy you'll ever meet.) Image
I met Billy Walters in somewhere around 2006. I was working at the Reserve Club. My friend/mentor John was the director of golf. He came in the office. "You ever heard of a guy named Billy Walters?" I said of course I had. He said "Well he just got in the club. Buckle up." Image
The Reserve was awesome. We maybe did 80 rounds a day on peak days. Led to some really creative moments.
Read 15 tweets
Apr 3, 2021
THREAD:

A dozen or so folks have snuck into my DMs asking me how I felt about boycotting @TheMasters. Here we go. Image
Voting in Georgia was incredibly difficult *last* year. To deny this says a lot about the denier.

Then urban voters flipped the state blue.

As a reaction, @GovKemp made it more difficult to vote. To deny that says a lot about lens from which you view the world. Image
@MLB moved the @AllStarGame, which, if we're being honest, is a fun little travelling TV show that nobody really cares about. But it makes for fun "history" every now and again. Image
Read 19 tweets
Jan 21, 2021
We are asking millions of people over 65 to login, create an account, schedule an appointment, and print/pdf their form to bring with them.

Many of these people have AOL email addresses.

How do you think this process is going?
Because I work in healthcare and some of our customers are over 65 and extremely savvy. Most are not.

A sample:

"I sent the email on a Sunday so it probably didn't go out until Monday."

"I clicked print. Where does it print?"

"My password is bobsmith399842298@aol.com"
"What happens when I click "complete your order"?"

"I'm not trying to buy cookies. I just want to get my lab test."
Read 8 tweets

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