For every leader who has written a blog post, tweeted, commented on, the steps being taken by RZIM, how good they are, how important the truth is, or how to prevent this, please hear the grief you are compounding:
You have written about how God and right these steps are, but not until they were already taken. Not until the facade was removed.

You did not lift your voice to cry for the truth you now applaud. That fell on the shoulders of the victims. The women.
You applaud the independent investigation, but never pressed for it when it needed to be done.

When your voice was desperately needed in 2017 and all the years that followed, you were silent.

You left the victims alone, your silence a deafening testament that you did not care
You praise accountability but as far as I can see, have never ONCE demanded it of anyone you labor alongside.

Not SGC. Not Ravi. Not Paige Patterson, or Jerry Vines, or any other leader accused of abuse or enabling.
You took less than 24 hours to put your voice out there applauding a step you could not be bothered to ask for when your voice was desperately needed by the most vulnerable.

You had nothing to say until the work was done and it cost you nothing.
The work was done by the victims and the cost borne by them, and by advocates who you refused to heed for four years, or who you have outright maligned.

But now you wish to speak and offer wisdom and counsel and support? As if these were steps you knew all along were needed?
If this repentance and these steps you applaud were so godly and important and needed, where were your voices urging them?

Where are your voices urging them now for leaders and institutions that have steadfastly refused these very steps?
Where is YOUR apology for the silence? For maligning victims and advocates who have long urged these steps with RZIM, SGC, the SBC and so many more? The same steps you now applaud?

Where was your voice when it was desperately needed? Where was your conviction when it would cost?
In less than 24 hours so many of you have offered your theories on why this happened and how to prevent it - how much time have you spent learning deeply from survivors and experts about the real dynamics of abuse, it's causes, and prevention?
Everything that has been brought to light came at the cost and effort of the survivors and advocates. Few to none of whom you have listened to, many of whom you have maligned in days past for their work, and none of whom you have apologized to.
It is not time to applaud steps you are not willing to raise your voice for when it counts. Do not act as if this matters to you when you do not care enough when it would cost.

Stop applauding this step. Start urging those who have refused this step, to take it. Do it publicly.
Stop offering fixes and prevention when you have spent no time learning from those who have sacrificed so much to be able to truly understand abuse, it's dynamics, prevention and response. From those who sounded the alarm years before your theories.
Use your voice and platform to point to the work they have done, the price they paid, the cost of not listening earlier. Point people to the wise counsel purchased at great cost.

Wait to speak until you have faithfully spoken when it would cost.
Every time the facade is lifted on an abuser victims wait, anticipating the flood of statements from the very people they begged to help them.

They know it is coming, because it always does once it is easy. And it is crushing to watch again and again
And yes leaders, there was much pleading publicly for your voice not just here, but in many places where you enjoy the benefits of co-laboring, while wanting none of the responsibilities.

You took less than 24 hours to raise your voice. But you are years too late.

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More from @R_Denhollander

17 Feb
@RodDMartin @AlsoACarpenter @david_bumg @bradjurkovich @BaptistNetwork Christians should care about libel. Which is why I remain appalled that the Executive Committee has never publicly confessed or repented of libeling Jen Lyell on a national platform, much less had any accountability for the members involved.
@RodDMartin @AlsoACarpenter @david_bumg @bradjurkovich @BaptistNetwork What was done to Jen never even merited attention at your Executive Committee meetings, that's how little anyone cared. Nor did you all provide her an audience at this meeting.

Her statute of limitations was good, I checked myself.
@RodDMartin @AlsoACarpenter @david_bumg @bradjurkovich @BaptistNetwork But the Exec Com did not use one penny of their funds to make restitution for the damage done, though it was permanent and life altering.

Help for ongoing treatment for these permanent injuries could still be provided, if Christians cared enough about libel. Which they should.
Read 4 tweets
12 Feb
As an attorney I can't find a legal basis for this decision and I am horrified. The victim spent a month in the hospital with a brain bleed and fractured skull, and it was caught on tape.… via @CBSNews
What is even more disturbing is that after these officers were arrested following their attack, 60 other officers refused to serve on the task force any longer.

60 officers believed this was justified and right conduct. 60 officers defended this and would do the same.
No institution is healthy with unfettered authority. But when those authority figures are given the ability to use force, and even deadly force, the checks and balances ought to be that much higher.

Instead, they are almost nonexistent.
Read 4 tweets
12 Feb
She was lost in her imagination, a princess dancing, on an adventure "in the woods". Then she turned around and lifted her little face and laughed, "But monsters aren't real, are they mommy?"

And time stood still as everything I hear, every day, flashed in my mind...
Her innocence and joy juxtaposed
against horrors that defy description and are far more common than we want to know. Against my own memories and everything I witnessed in a courtroom three years ago.

"Are monsters real?"

I could not answer her.
When you have seen, it changes the way you see everything.

When I see my children, I see the ones I couldn't save. When I see the ones I couldn't save, I see the children they were.

I see the names of the files on Larry's computer, and the millions of children they represent.
Read 7 tweets
1 Feb
Let's dissect this, shall we?

(1). SBC members (and their legal counsel) would like to seek more transparency regarding EC budget matters. For example, if the EC commits a tort against someone but swears they have no control over their own funds to provide restitution. . .
SBC members would like the EC to be honest about their actual budget and ability.
(2) SBC Members would like the EC, in the interest of unity, to focus on where the SBC has spoken through resolutions. Like, say, the credentialing committee and it's given mission to ensure sex offenders and enablers aren't pastoring.
Read 9 tweets
30 Jan
The tale of the first time Jacob and I have had serious relationship problems:

The 5yr old loves stink bugs and keeps them for pets in her bug box. This apparently inspired the 2 yr old to think very affectionately about the very large spider that was found dead in our garage...
But it was Jacob who told her, in her grief, that maybe it was just sleeping, and would she like to show it to mommy?

He put it in her hand...IN HER HAND and she brought it to me, with the pea she's trying to feed it to wake it up.

It's now sitting on my bookcase...
Because when she brought it to me and I barely kept myself together, he took it upon himself to bring to me much closer and faster. One or both of us might have been running. It was hard for me to tell.

This made Elora very sad...
Read 6 tweets
28 Jan
I just cannot believe the amount of tone-deaf, we-don't-care, that this organization demonstrates over and over and over again.

Still waiting for justice for abuse survivors btw. Yep. Still. Waiting.
What I find so fascinating and horrifying over and over again, is the actual reality that professionals sat in a room and made these decisions.

Like...someone suggested it (without doing research? Without caring what the research showed??)

And then....
Someone else apparently says "Yeah yeah! Great plan!"

And then they vote.

Actual adults in charge of child safety and allegedly cleaning up an abuse ridden organization sat in a room together and decided this was a good idea.
Read 4 tweets

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