ADHD fact: there are two major groups of ADHD, hyperactive and inattentive.

I want to talk about inattentive type...my type.
Firstly, hyperactive type is the stereotypical ADHD person that has trouble sitting still, is too chatty, disruptive in school, craves external stimulation (input the obligatory, slightly offensive "SQUIRREL!" joke here.)
Inattentive types might be describe as flighty, daydream a lot, have trouble with verbal instructions bc they can't focus/have delayed auditorial comprehension, less likely to get bored in the absence of external stimulation bc they have an over abundance of internal stimulus.
(This isn't to say that hyperactive type doesn't have overlap, of course.)
Issue is, inattentive type is a lot less likely to be diagnosed early than hyperactive type.

Hyperactive types as children are described as disruptive, while inattentive types are described as "being in their own little world".
Basically, if you aren't causing a problem for adults in your life, no one cares if you are struggling or need extra assistance.

Hyperactive types are more likely to get intervention.
Inattentive types are told to "try harder, you're so smart, you have so much potential".
They internalize failure and shame, dealing with a mental disability alone, without support, and told their inability to not "live up to their potential" is a personal failing.

They feel as if they’re playing catchup & don't know why until/if they get diagnosed in adulthood.
Or they go years into adulthood not understanding why things that are easy for others is such a chore for them.

You are more likely to be an inattentive type if you are a girl, but boys certainly can be as well.
Late diagnosis has ripple effects. It doesn't just delay treatment, it can make you feel like life itself was delayed. On hold!

You're a "late bloomer" is a nice way of saying "you got left behind".
When your mental disability primarily only causes *you* problems and doesn't annoy others too much, people are far less likely to intervene early, and that is a condemnation of an ableist system.
People with inattentive type get left behind in an abelist system that favors the comfort and privilege of the fully abled.

All the positive talk of "but I'm diagnosed now, making improvements" doesn't take away from this fact. Two things can be true at once.
You lost years of your life, treading water when you didn't have to.

You don't have to be bitter over it, but you have every right to mourn the lost years and misspent time, and the person you might've been in a sans-ableism, post-bootstrap mentality world.
Yes, you will get on with it and make the time you have left as vibrant as you can.

Your light's a firecracker, not a slow burning candle...

...but you could've been a candle.

So much *could've*.
You lost years to this system, you aren't required to sacrifice your sorrow too.

You can be a fabulous success now and still mourn lost time.

Two things can be true.

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