“But so many more are still undiagnosed and misunderstood, especially in the older generations. Mis-medicated, mis-diagnosed, feeling like failures because we do not fit; square pegs crammed into round holes.”

This hit so hard.
I tried so hard to get help for so long. I went to psychiatrist after psychiatrist, in and out of intensive therapy, was hospitalized multiple times - but no one saw me. Not really. I had to lie to my doctor to get antidepressants and go to a new one just to TRY for diagnosis.
And even after all that - even after getting re-diagnosed and extensively tested last year - I still constantly fear I’m faking it. I’m not the stereotype. I was in front of so many doctors - doctors I couldn’t afford, hospitals I still owe money to -just to be told “depression”.
Depression is absolutely serious! But when someone also has untreated ADHD, they’re not going to truly get better. The cycle of “why am I not good enough”, of self medicating with food or booze or caffeine or self destruction- it just gets worse.
“Square pegs crammed into round holes.” Filing down our edges, just trying to get by. Looking for help and being so ashamed of it because everyone says “you’re so smart! Why is this so hard for you?” and you can’t see why either so you just stop talking about what’s hard.
ADHD is so much more than I ever knew. And now that I know, so much of my life makes sense. And like the author, I’m angry. I’m furious that it took so long and my life fell apart over and over again, and that most of my time is just spent picking shards out of the carpet.
I still have so much to work through to truly get myself back. Those of you who are seeking help or got diagnosed late - you know what I mean. We deserved better, and still do.

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More from @scretladyspider

21 Feb
Wow people are pretty opinionated on this rather mediocre low budget toxic romance masquerading as an epic fairy tale

Like you’re not gonna change my mind but I’m reading these comments like
Okay but forreal the book is fucking HILARIOUS read that and then get back to me
Read 4 tweets
5 Sep 20
An interesting thing is how allos (those both allosexual & alloromantic) dont have any problem understanding that romantic attraction and sexual attraction don’t have to be linked/occur simultaneously until someone is ace and/or aro and then suddenly it’s a big deal
I cannot begin to name the number of conversations about sexual attraction where an allo will tell me “I like them but I don’t wanna have sex with them” or “well yeah I’d bone that” with it being made clear there’s no romantic attraction there. Like it’s understood.
But then you say you’re ace and people think you’re also aro (they’re not interchangeable) or that you just haven’t met the right person or that you’re a sociopath (an actual thing that was said about aromantics not too long ago) and it’s frustrating
Read 8 tweets
8 Aug 20
ADHD is less “oh a squirrel!” and more “oh a squirrel! Oh he’s eating a mushroom. Let me go read about mushrooms. Wow some fungi can grow thousands of miles underground! Does that mean Alice really was on shrooms? I wonder if Lewis Carroll was Jack the Ripper. Another Squirrel!”
Btw do you wanna learn what kind of mushroom you are I’m psilocybe cubensis apparently

Oh and all these thoughts happen in a blink and then the person next to you is like “what” and you’re like “oh did you know most Ripperologists don’t believe Lewis Carroll was Jack the Ripper?” and they’re like “...what?” and you realize that they have no idea where your brain is
Read 4 tweets
31 Dec 19
This is actually a fair question - does knowing I have #ADHD matter. The answer is yes! It matters IMMENSELY. But if you aren't familiar with what it is, you might not understand why.
#ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that effects the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe is the thing that lets you switch between tasks, emotions, even thoughts. Our brains don't actually have a deficit of attention. It's more like our brains want to pay attention to EVERYTHING.
But our brains also get stuck, even when we need them to move forward. Which is pretty much all-day-every-day.

This can also effect our ability to filter out sensory information. I actually have a lot of trouble filtering sound myself.
Read 14 tweets
1 Oct 19
It's #ADHDAwarenessMonth! There's a lot about #ADHD I didn't know until I was diagnosed, so, here are some things about it that you may or may not be aware of.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. There are three types: Primarily Hyperactive, Primarily Inattentive, and Combination (both hyperactive and inattentive). ADD, or Attention Deficit Disorder, is now ADHD- Primarily Inattentive type.
This isn't to invalidate any ADD diagnosis! Even my psychiatrist writes it down as ADD in letters for others because it's still used commonly as a term by physicians and laymen. If you were diagnosed with ADD, it just means the official name is now ADHD-PI.
Read 25 tweets
5 Mar 19
If you wanna go down this road, let's fuckin go. The way I replied was kind of joking, but I'm proudly #queer. *Cracks knuckles* also gonna tag @C_Stroop because he's kind of the reason I discovered the #exvangelical and #ExposeChristianSchools side of Twitter.
1) I attended Christian college for 3 years, and was raised in the church. I've read the Bible pretty extensively. I've also studied translations, corruption surrounding what books got "approved", corruption in the church over time, and lemme tell you right now context matters.
And before you say "no it doesn't" in order to justify your homophobia, you don't get to pick and choose where and when historical context and the original translations matter. Which is one of the reasons I hate topical preaching, but that's another story.
Read 25 tweets

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