George Romero: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Pals, I call this The Tale of the Land of the Dead
Romero: ok so imagine there’s a zombie apocalypse
King: cool
Romero: and in the post-zombie world, humanity recreates all the same oppressive capitalist structures
King:
Romero: so rich people live in a gated highrise
Romero: and despite the end of the world, they still enjoy all the decadent luxuries
King: how do they get those in a post-apocalyptic world tho
Romero: by exploiting the proletariat
King:
Romero: and furthermore if you’d read Marx
Romero: anyway dennis hopper plans to escape into the zombie wasteland with a big briefcase of paper money
King: but what good is paper money in a zombie wasteland?
Romero: exactly
King:
King: whoa
King: so what you’re saying is that capitalism sows the seeds of its own destruction with escalating levels of exploitation & resource extraction
Romero: that’s right
King: and the people should create a new order based on human need rather than profit?
Romero: exactly
Poe: hey sorry I’m late, what did I miss
Barker: George just radicalized steve
Poe:
King: I was just thinking
King: what if the workers of the world united?
King: after all what do they have to lose? Their chains?
Poe: this is new
Barker: yeah well it’s steve
Barker: I wouldn’t bet on this lasting too long
Anton LaVey: um actually I think an oligarchy of the wealthy based on force is good
King: oh gosh he makes a good point too
Barker: yeah see?

• • •

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More from @midnight_pals

22 Feb
Alan Baxter: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Platty
Baxter: imagine a small town in the Australian outback
Baxter: menaced by a monstrously buff platypus
Frank Belknap Long: how buff?
Baxter: just absolutely ripped
Baxter: all the gifts that mother nature bestowed on it now turned to evil
Baxter: necking teens in parked cars being dabbled to death with its big giant bill
Baxter: just kung fu kicking through cockies like tissue paper with its little square feet
Baxter: stabbing folks with its poisonous ankle spurs
Baxter: blasting prey with milk from its special milk pores
Baxter: you see the platypus despite its strange appearance is actually a mammal
Koontz: wow!
Baxter: you’d know that if you’d watched any of the Dot movies
Read 7 tweets
18 Feb
Stephen King: Jeez, can you believe those dumb Texans are all freezing to death? Serves those hillbillies right for electing republicans, huh?
Poe:
Poe: jeez steve
King: what?
Poe: too soon
Poe: like, it's happening right now
Poe: I mean, it’s a little tacky
King: yeah but
Barker: people are dying steve
King:
King: George!
King: you’ll back me up
George Romero:
King: you HATE republicans
Romero: yeah but
Romero: kind of a bad look right now, steve
Robert E Howard: howdy amigos
Lovecraft: 2 Gun Howard!
Koontz: It’s 2 Gun!
Howard: I heard someone was talkin’ shit about Texas
King:
Howard: partna, I reckon there’s somethin’ you fergot
King:
Howard: you plum fergot not to mess with Texas!!
Howard: Don’t Mess with Texas!!!
Read 6 tweets
16 Feb
Arthur Machen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the White People
Lovecraft: i-i don't get it
Lovecraft: that's literally the only thing that's not scary
Lovecraft: wait
Lovecraft: unless you mean
Lovecraft: [whispers] i-italians
Arthur Machen: the megalithic landscape of the English countryside is host to an ancient evil, an unholy and abominable horror from before the times of men
Lovecraft: oh wait
Lovecraft: this, i get
Lovecraft: you mean tentacle monsters beyond human ken
Machen: no i mean pixies
Machen: standing stones and chalk hill figures reveal dim memories of a monstrous race that predates the dawn of man
Lovecraft: probably cultists dedicated to an unknowable protoplasmic space madness
Machen: no i mean fairies
Lovecraft:
Machen: and brownies
Read 8 tweets
15 Feb
Arthur Machen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Queer Happenings that were Queer
King:
Poe:
Koontz:
Barker:
Barker: ha
Barker: ha ha ha
Poe: oh grow up clive
Poe: you know he just means “strange”
Machen: now these queer events
Barker: haha
Poe: clive, he just means “strange”
Poe: sorry, keep going, arthur
Machen: now the queer events happened when a young woman, considered to be very queer, spent a lot of time alone in the woods with another young woman
Poe:
Machen: it was very queer, these two women alone in the woods, being queer together, and it caused quite a scandal and everyone agreed it was very queer
Barker: hahahaha
Barker: stop it, I’m dying
Barker: I’m fucking dying
Ed Lee: so these 2 chicks in the woods huh
Read 9 tweets
11 Feb
Joss Whedon: hey everyone it’s me your woke bae!
Whedon: ha ha!
Angela Carter: you gotta lot of nerve showing up
Whedon: gee wow, kinda weirdly hostile vibes tonight!
Whedon: what’s up with that?
Carter:
Whedon: ohhh
Whedon: all that stuff I did
Joss Whedon: oh I see
Whedon: who’re you going to believe?
Whedon: a dozen actors and my ex-wife? Or me, your woke bae?
Whedon: don’t you know who I am?? I’m joss whedon!
Whedon: I solved horror!
Whedon: I invented give shiny things to weasels day!
Whedon: listen I know it looks kind of bad
Whedon: what with a dozen actors saying I’m abusive
Whedon: and my ex-wife saying I’m a sex creep
Barker: and also cabin in the woods sucking ass
Barker: that’s unrelated, I just wanted to get that out there
Whedon:
Barker: but go on
Read 10 tweets
9 Feb
Thomas Disch: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the Evil Doctor, the killer businessman and the witch teacher
Disch: all here in spooky minneapolis
Stephen King: hey thomas in amnesia can you escape the dungeon w/o the wizard's key?
King: so I’m in the room with the door and a key, how do I get out
Disch: well you have to open the door
Barker: what is this
King: I’m playing thomas’ text game
King: OPEN DOOR
King: “the door is locked”
King:
King: do you have a walkthrough
Barker: what's this game about
Disch: you wake up in hotel with no memory
Barker: oh an amnesiac protag? kind of cliched premise of a text game don't you think
Disch: yeah
Disch: i invented it
Read 9 tweets

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