I miss many things from before the pandemic, but most of all I think I miss the brief voicemail instructions.
2019: "Thank you for calling the office of Doctor X. To schedule an appointment, press 1."

2021: "You have reached the office of Doctor X. We do not have covid vaccines at this time. To learn more about covid please visit our website. If you think you have covid, don't come HERE
-Don't even really tell us about it because there's nothing we can do. I mean, I guess you can tell Barb because she'll talk to anyone, but it's not like she can HELP you with it. Go to a hospital, I guess? Really, no idea. It's scary out there.

To schedule an appointment, pres
We were calling Pizza Huts to figure out if they had food during the snowpocalypse and each one was like "THANK YOU for choosing Pizza Hut, our pizzas are NOT TOUCHED by human hands. We care about covid y'all, we aren't like your shitty denialist cousin, we have CONTACTLESS ovens

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More from @AnaMardoll

22 Feb
This just sounds like "means testing means testing means testing"?

I don't care what someone is making in salary, or whether they went to a public or private school. If their debt can be legally cancelled, let's do it.

No "targeting" needed.
This isn't captioned but I think she says "He said previously that relief over $10,000 should be targeted based on income, the type of debt in question" and the type of school and, like, why is Biden nickel and diming us with every relief measure?

Help everyone!
I'm tired of rich Democrats living in fear that they might someday accidentally help someone who is solidly middle class.
Read 4 tweets
22 Feb
I really feel like we need to start talking about the pandemic tax we've been paying for the last 12 months.
The masks, the hand sanitizer, the disposable gloves, the face shields. The extra costs of being home all the time, the heating and cooling, the toilet paper you'd otherwise use at work, the electricity. So much electricity.
The increased costs in food and toiletries, the delivery fees in order to be contactless, the higher tips we pay gladly because essential workers are in a special hell right now and deserve better than their shitty employers will pay them.
Read 21 tweets
22 Feb
A lot of people are kindly asking about our power bill and whether it'll be $15,000 or not, and I'm pretty sure it won't, and now I'll try to explain Texas' electricity situation.
Texas has this unregulated free market situation when it comes to power companies, so if you find yourself needing a new power account (lets say your husband means you and the power was in his name), you "get" to shop around multiple companies.
There are like 222 companies to choose between (no, really!) and you "get" to comparison shop, but instead of deciding whether you want the shoes in purple or red, you're trying to decide how to buy a necessary resource without going bankrupt.
Read 24 tweets
22 Feb
I kinda feel like we need to say this more but: we're in the middle of a pandemic that we really hoped would be done by now and it isn't, so if you're not doing very well right now, it's really not your fault!!
Like, I am actually doing Not So Great because (a) it's been a YEAR and a year is a very long time and a sort of anniversaryish thing and (b) logical or not, I was hoping for more...relief when Biden was inaugurated.
I had hope that we were going to have a Real Lockdown and a few weeks later the pandemic would be basically over and we would also get $2000 checks to help with all the bills.
Read 15 tweets
21 Feb
Also, today was very eventful because we got pulled over by a cop! Although technically we had already pulled over and he just sort of parked behind us and knocked on our windows.
Today was a very big Pokemon Go festival, you see. And we were very excited about it because you can catch a Shiny Mew at the end and shiny mews are blue and very trans boy mascoty, I must say) so OBVIOUSLY this was very important to us. A little flying kitteny mon...
Plus there was sunshine out and we had already decided that the entire day was going to be spent hunting for a grocery store that had restocked their refrigerated items. (That part didn't go so well, but we DID score a bottle of Sprite.)
Read 12 tweets
20 Feb
Well, we're pretty sure we figured out what Kissmate has been sick for almost a month and it wasn't his gallbladder.
Around the same time all this started, our doctor saw him for a physical and got worried about breast cancer because we're capital-t Trans Men. So she told him to start taking vitamin C supplements.
Vitamin C is supposed to suppress breast cancer from happening, I guess, but GUESS WHAT it can also really fuck up your digestion apparently. Although too much dietary v...
Read 9 tweets

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