Thread by @Xera_6

As someone who has struggled with depression for years now, I feel like there's a need to explain something to our non-depressed friends. So, if you have a friend whom you think has depression, read this thread. It might help you help them.
#DepressionAwareness

When you notice your friend suddenly becoming super reserved and distant, they're most likely having an 'episode'. By that, I mean that their depression is rearing its head up and is taking the driver's seat in their head. When that happens, usually, the self isolation kicks in.

Sometimes, they're not necessarily quiet when they're around you. But they will disappear off social media or reply to texts/messages a bit later than usual. It depends on the individual.

We go into ourselves. The darkest thoughts come to front of our thoughts. And most of the time we struggle with the embarrassment and self deprecate for even thinking these thoughts. That creates a vicious circle that gets us locked up and spiralling.

And the worst part about all of this is that we can't bring ourselves to talk to anyone about it when it's happening. Because of that embarrassment and/or feeling that no one will understand what we're feeling. Depression is an isolating illness. That's what gets you killed.

When we feel like the depression is taking a backseat again, we start to slowly talk about it with you. But that usually means the worst and most dangerous part of that episode when we're at our most vulnerable is over. And we dealt with it alone.

One of my biggest personal fears is that one day I won't get through that worst part alone. I won't come out the other side. It's terrifying to have that self-awareness but not be able to do anything about it.

It's terrifying to know that many have met their end BECAUSE one day they couldn't get out of that worst part alone. And it's sad that many people then say "why didn't they reach out to anyone?"
They couldn't. The isolation is nearly impossible to break out of.

Here's where I feel that we could try something. If you have a depressed friend, set a safe word with them. And you'll have to probably bring up this conversation with them yourself. We hate how helpless we feel so many might not talk about it openly.

What do I mean by a safe word? Just one word they can text you. Not related to depression. Or feelings. Or asking for help. Something as random as 'pineapple'. One word to tell you "the episode is back". One word to tell you all I just explained.

And when you get that one word, keep them company. You don't have to talk about their depression. Because they probably CAN'T. But just get in a voice call maybe. Watch a movie together. Play a game. Just be there so they don't feel alone. So they get through it.

When that call is over, the demons will probably be back. But for a few hours they get to take a break and recharge so they can fight those demons with a bit more energy. Because at the end of the day, we have to fight our demons alone. You can't fight them for us.

But those crumbs of energy is what keeps us going. What gets us through that episode. We're strong. But after years of dealing, you eventually get worn out.

I hope this thread shed some light into the mind of a depressed person. And I hope this doesn't pressure any of you to do stuff for your depressed friends. It's only if you WANT to help but don't know how to. It's not an obligation. We know it's hard to deal with us. 🤷

Heck. It's hard for us to deal with ourselves. But anyway. If you've read this far, thank you. And I hope it helps you deal a bit better with a depressed loved one or friend.

/end