Here’s a photo journal of my journey from changing my name, to first day out at work, to getting my passport, to losing my family, to now
Let’s see when people decide it’s ok for me to “self ID” who I am
So, first day on hormones!
1/25
Next, the day I changed my legal name
Is that the point I meet their standard?
2/25
The day I got my corrected passport maybe?
3/25
No? Ok, how about the first day at work...
4/25
Not enough? How about the first time swimming with my child (since about 2 years prior)
5/25
Still not sure? Ok. Let’s try first hair cut in a proper hairdressers (for the GC crowd, that’s a “women’s salon”)
(Added bonus, first family Christmas. They all accepted me by the way)
6/25
Ok ok. How about, first tattoo as a woman? Yeah, guess what, the tattooist didn’t have a problem either...
7/25
I get it though, maybe it’s not “official” enough. Let’s have first GIC appointment
(Oh didn’t I mention, I’d gone through all this with no support so far...)
8/25
So, now I have a formal diagnosis and recommendation for surgery but, I get it’s not enough for some people. So...
First invite to a wedding as myself (stood with my mum)
9/25
Fine, that’s all family stuff. How about speaking on equality at @Tesco?
10/25
Or launching a project to help people who are going through what I’m going through?
11/25
Or maybe spending the day racing around London with @GoCharlieM to gather support for young trans people
12/25
Perhaps speaking about diversity and inclusion at the British Standards Institute...
13/25
Ok, that’s all positive stuff but, how about when my wife left me and took my daughter after 18 years? Is that enough?
14/25
No? Maybe when I became so mentally unwell from stress and depression that I had to stop working
(Incidentally, the doctors all got my name, gender & pronouns right)
15/25
Or how about when I got off my backside and decided to exercise myself out of that slump?
(Using the women’s changing rooms of course - without a problem)
16/25
Still no? Really? Ok...
Well let’s skip a bit to meeting my boyfriend...
17/25
Then on to building an incredible new relationship with my daughter...
(Who also has never had a problem with me by the way)
18/25
Or a family holiday together... (y’know, because it’s not a problem in other places either)
19/25
On that note, flying out (on my female passport) to Poland... possibly the worst country in Europe for LGBTQ+ people
Turns out, they didn’t care either...
20/25
Or maybe when that little project I started earlier went and released an album (even the BBC who interviewed me didn’t have a problem understanding that I am who I am)
21/25
Nor did the global news group who gave me an award... (curiously enough, for being nice!)
22/25
The love, the fun, the laughter, the tears. The fear, the pain, the adversity, the constant battle to have the right to be me.
When does it just become a fact?
23/25
I’ve fought long and hard to get from there to here. I’ve done all of this without any changes in legislation to help me. I’ve done it without infringing on any woman’s rights. I’ve just lived my life, as myself, for myself and guess what... most people didn’t even notice!
24/25
So when I say I’m going identify myself as female, it’s not because I’ve got any sort of agenda & not because I’m trying to erase anyone!
It’s because I am a woman and I’ve earned my place at this hard won table!
It’s gonna be a long thread so, get comfortable.
Whilst my life is fairly innocuous, I still face a lot of discrimination. It’s driven by a number of factors but, mostly ignorance and a lack of understanding. So, let’s clear a few things up. /1
Q: What are Trans People?
A: We’re normal people who just happen to not identify with some of the characteristics we were born with. These can be physical or emotional issues and some trans people take medical or social steps to resolve their conflicts. /2
Q: So they’re confused?
A: No. I had a long period of my life where I couldn’t understand a lot of the conflict I had in myself. This can look like confusion but, I always knew who I was. It was just working out how to convey that to everyone else. /3
I’ve been on a bit of a rant today but, I just want to offer the benefit of my recent experience in changing my name in the UK.
Firstly: Most people dont know the basic legal requirements. The only document you need is a witnessed deed poll. You will have to explain though. 1/7
Deed Poll: This can be written & printed by you, at home and witnessed by anyone, who is not a blood relative, over the age 18. Have a look at freedeedpoll.org.uk for an easy way to get a legally binding document. No need to enroll it. Nobody has insisted so far
2/7
Photo ID: You should ask the question what they want the ID for. The only proof of your name change required is your deed poll. HMPO & DVLA will want more proof.
If companies want to confirm your identity, they can do it as before you changed your name. It was secure enough! 3/7