One reason conservatives are so deeply unfunny is that an important element of humor is subverted expectations, realizing that you'd been wrong about what is.

When everyone expects you to be a piece of shit, and you prove them right, you're not subverting *anything*
"I wonder what he's gonna say about women"

*later* well he said exactly what I expected a guy with a history of domestic violence to say. Was that supposed to be funny? Was the joke that he's a registered sex offender?
Conservatives only know 2 jokes, and both of them are spoiled by the desperate need to not subvert their audience's expectations.

"No but really guys, I still am truly a piece of shit. What I just said was a lie, don't worry."
Conservatives couldn't subvert expectations if they used both hands and a well-lubricated AR-15.

This makes comedy almost impossible for them.
Without the ability to subvert anyone's expectations that he definitely uses racial slurs in bed, the conservative comedian finds himself in the position of only being able to make comedy for people who lack expectations at all.

Babies, in other words. And certain dogs.
His comedy is restrained to alternating between calming and aggressive tones of speech, cooing and shrieking, etc. Jokes that even a baby could get.
Of course, the other big reason conservative comedy sucks so much is that people's reflexive reaction to nazis is to shoot them, not laugh with them.

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More from @pookleblinky

6 Apr
The company ChooseCo owns the trademark on the concept of choosing your own adventure. They literally will sue the shit out of you for having the audacity to choose an adventure for yourself.
If you want to choose an adventure for yourself, you have to do it sneakily, so ChooseCo's lawyers can't notice and then maul you like a pack of hyenas.
Writers who like the idea of choosing adventures, often of their own, have to go to great lengths to avoid getting hit with life-ruining lawsuits.

One had to fake his own death in a boating accident. Another had to hide in the jungles of Borneo for over a decade.
Read 6 tweets
6 Apr
What's funny is yahoo answers would theoretically provide NFT jackasses a perfect opportunity to answer: what happens when the links break?
Like: make an expensive one whose json points to a yahoo answer.

Use it as a bounty: $1 million to anyone who figures out how to not make it instantly become utterly worthless the moment the server is turned off
But, because it's a pyramid scheme and the only important thing is getting some other sucker to be holding the hot potato, none will even consider doing that.

Why bother, when the link rot hits that'll be someone else's problem by then.
Read 4 tweets
5 Apr
Watch Marz's video on her chronic pain issues, and then think about longcovid
She has a more recent update where she talks more about how it affects her
Conservatively, there are at least 5 million more americans this year with permanent health issues they would not have had were the government at all functional.

And *all* of them will face some variation of what Marz experienced.
Read 4 tweets
4 Apr
What was the best liminal space you've ever been in? A place you've actually stood in where reality was thinner than anywhere else you've ever been?
For me: my college had underground tunnels that connected several buildings, as well as two nearby dorms. Kinda looked like this:

Lotsa triangles, I remember.
There was one stretch of corridor, the part on the left, that was an unbroken tunnel of buzzing fluorescents and silence. Nobody used it, there was really no reason to.

Just a long tunnel with a few empty locked rooms off it.
Read 11 tweets
4 Apr
I wonder if bloodborne's non-rally health mechanics were originally supposed to be like estus, due to Iosefka/Arriana/Adelle's vials.

Like, you'd start with 5 replenishing Iosefka vials, then upgrade them with 5 Adelle, etc.
Like, by late-game you would have had ~20 replenishing heals, of various kinds. Fixed fast 40%, slower but more powerful, etc.
It seems like one of those mechanics where you can tell they definitely were fiddling about with it and then kind of threw up their hands and said fuck it, good enough
Read 8 tweets
26 Feb
I like reading threads where people share the worst physical pain they've ever experienced.

There are a few categories that constantly show up:

1. My doctor didn't believe that I was in pain. He then tortured me.

This is by far the most common.
Such threads are flooded with horror stories of doctors simply refusing to believe their patient, almost always a woman, was in pain. Then making it horribly worse.
2. My boss didn't believe the job was dangerous.

Such threads are packed full of work-related injuries
Read 9 tweets

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