Vendor: Good morning @IamEtubo, Anon just ordered you our peppered delicious chicken shrimp soaked jollof rice meal. Please DM your details

Me: Haaaaa! Oyaaaaa! God bless you and anon. Pls how long does it take to make and deliver it. Cos me I am hungry o.
Vendor: Err, not long at all sir. But you pay for delivery. Where do you stay.
Me: I stay in Ikorodu
Vendor: we are on the island, so the delivery fee is 2K sir.
Me: Please send your details.
*5 mins later*
*details enters*
*sends 2K*
Vendor: Seen, I will get back to you as soon as it is done.
*2 hours later*

Vendor: Done sir, I need your address.
Me: Can you send a picture of the meal because ha. My body is not touching ground again! I am excited! Who dey breeeeet?
*vendor sends picture*

Me: Vendor, Please it is only rice and one boiled egg I am seeing in the picture. I think pe you sent the wrong picture. I am talking about the one anon bought for me.
Vendor: That is it sir.
Me: I thought you said "peppered delicious chicken soaked jollof rice meal" so where is the chicken and shrimp? Please don't play games with me.
Vendor: you missed the "soaked" sir. We used shrimp and chicken juice to cook the rice.
Me: so how did boiled egg reach there? Not even ponmo?
Vendor: That is our meal of the day and even on sale.
Me: Okay, so how much is it?
Vendor: N350 sir.
Me: So you charged me N2K to deliver packaged concoction and egg? Do you know you have just attracted 2,000 curses flying around? You know what? Please send me back my 2k. I don't want again.
Vendor: The delivery fee is non-refundable sir. I already paid the delivery guy. We are waiting for your address.
Me: We bawo? How?
Vendor: OH! I usually come with the deliveryman, I don't want any issues.
Me: Oh! Okay. My address is 43 Ololade St. Ikorodu.
Vendor: See you soon.
*1 hour later*
Sir, we have been riding around and can't find the address. The rider just left me sir. I'm at end of the road. The last house with orange GP tank.
Me: The area is confusing. Just keep going straight you will see my house soon.
Vendor: OK sir

*15 mins later*

"I have been walking in the bush for 15 mins. I found a house and I am not sure it is yours and I am scared.
Me: Hmmm please send a picture.
Vendor: This sir
Me: Oh that is where I want you to bring it gan gan.
Vendor: So where are you?
Me: I am not there. What is your name again?
Vendor: Oluwayinka sir.
Me: See, Oluwa better yi e ka laidis. Because the egbere that will beat and pursue you today. Shebi you and the anon are both mad?
Me: see they are carrying sacrifice in Ikorodu tonight. Ti e ti ba. You own have catch you. You will learn your lesson today.
Vendor: .......
Me: Mr Oluwayinka are you there?
Second day:

*Your MCM gave...*

Me: blocks Vendor 😌😌😌
This thread na cruise o. Just pure cruise. Not real at all.

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8 Apr
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