An elderly man, a thread: There’s a guy I saw yesterday at GH3 who had to be in his 80s. He moved very slowly, carrying a handful of singles tightly clasped in his hand. I’ve seen him before, but never saw him get blown or blow anyone. He always slips bills into a booth anyway.
When I was younger, I absolutely would have looked at him in horror and thought, “How sad, gross and pathetic. He should leave.” But now I realize that reaction was about my fears and insecurities and had nothing to do with him. It was and is terrible to think like that.
Now I think: who is this man and what has his gay life been like? What was he doing at 20, 40, 60? Who did he love? Who loved him? I think about how gay men like him survived and how that paved the way for gay marriage, Prep and other things we assholes take for granted today.
I almost want to talk to him and ask him these questions. But that’s not really something you do at a sex shop, so I won’t. Maybe he wouldn’t want to talk. Maybe he’s an asshole. Who knows? But I do know that I treasure this old gay man more than he knows.

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More from @rawbuttnyc

17 Mar
I interrupt this mental health break for an update on My Trip to Paradise Video in Brooklyn recently. It’s too far for me to be a regular spot, so it’s not gonna be my new GH5. But it was well worth visiting. It has lots of pluses and some minuses. And I got two loads. 💦😈
Pluses: There’s almost no supervision. I’m so used to attendants making sure the booths are fed and guys behave. Not here. In the three hours I hung out, a guy made two quick rounds telling people to use money. Mostly guys were using the booths for free for a long time.
Because of that, guys do things they can’t at regular GHs. Straight guys kept their doors open and let people watch. Two guys got into a booth. Guys openly played with their dicks out. Guys got long blow jobs. It’s great for exhibitionists and voyeurs.
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